Which house did you choose and why was it Blue Lions?

It’s the first choice on the screen, has the only female leader and seems like the “canon” route so obviously it’s the most popular.

t. Shanty Pete

Eshop. I don’t like that we live in a digital download age either but that’s the reality, getting physical copies is getting harder and more pointless since you often need to connect to the internet even with a physical copy.

With the extremely limited intro of the game before forcing you to make a decision, there's basically no reason not to go for Edelgard.
Her house having Petra is just a bonus.

Probably the best decision. But I don't have internet were I am, so I'm gonna have to go to a library and use the Wi-Fi there like a sperg.

Claude is by far the best character, but his house's people sucks, especially the girls
Edelgard is by far the worst FE character I have ever seen, holy shit, she is dyke the character. But her house has the best characters by a long shot too.
Blue Lions is just as average as possible. The girls are average, Dimitri is just plain.
So going with Claude/Edelgard and recruiting the cute girls from Dyke seem like the best option

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Blue Lions. I chose them because I thought Dimitri would have an interesting story to tell. Just finished the fight in the canyon near the beginning so hard to tell as of now if I made the right choice.
Ingrid, Ashe and Annette are pretty cool. I started out pretty jealous of the other classes' girls but Annette's grown on me a bit. Mercedes' voice is starting to get grating though, she sounds like someone trying too hard to do an impression of Fluttershy or something.
I was iffy on Felix until I took him into a fight and found out he's a pretty awesome unit.
I can't wait to be able to recruit Marianne and Bernadetta.

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I chose Black Eagles because I wanted to dick away the crazy from Edelgard. Is that wrong?

Raphael also has a slight texan accent in the dub, so he's based

In Black Eagles for the same reason user.

Would Bernadetta make a good dark mage?
I like her a lot but I don't think a bow suits her. I want to make her into a genderbent Erk.

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SO when will this shit be playable on emulator? Not gonna give my cash for some nintendys bing bing wahoo fisher price toy

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Ashe is what's selling me on the Blue Lions so far. He's somehow had more character conflict and spotlight than even Dmitri as of Chapter 4.

Is it possible to recruit all the students?

everyday i strive to be closer to Drue's example

Lions first, then deer, then eagles, then eagles again but this time on the normal to grind for everybody recruitable and do the church route.

if the game isn't as good as it seems lions then eagles and then I'm out.

Erk is not a dark mage.

Golden Deer, Edelgard looks like typical generic waifubait #789236879 and I didnt really care for Dimitri and knights.

When I say dark mage I just meant offensive magic user. As far as I can tell Sage isn't in the game.

no
I didn't make the same choice but I respect you

Would you say it is worth to wait a few months to get this game? it seems that there is a lot of unreleased content like the hard mode and the voice actors, as well as some still locked maps...

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Golden Deer because I relate with the brown person

Duuno. All I know is that I am loving it right now.

Can you repair cahterine's sword if it breaks?
I'm scared to use it

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>serenesforest.net/three-houses/characters/maximum-stats/
why use this
why not just play the game

Looking at her passives, probably not. I could be wrong but her personal ability boosts her Atk while lower than max HP, but does nothing for her MAtk.
Her Crest also lets weapon attacks hit twice but I'm pretty sure that has no effect on magic. If you don't want her on a bow, the next best thing for her would probably be Cavalier with her E+ in Lance and Budding Talent in Riding.
Or really anything using physical attacks to make use of her abilities. Ironically I see decent synergy with her kit and being an armor knight, as awkward as that would probably be visually.

you should be able to

Yes, you can repair any of the weapons. A bit expensive, but it's fine.

The best house if you play as fem Byleth tho. Romance with Dimitri is really good one

Is it really?

Does Seteth get assblasted if you marry his sister?

No but there's a threesome route for them.

LIKE MOTHS TO A FLAME....

well Yea Forums you didnt actually lose anyone to him right?

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How are you guys doing class advancements? Advancing every unit at every tier, or waiting for units to max out their class exp?

So is edelgard an evil bitch or what?

He got one-shot by Mercedes on the first encounter, and I accidentally routed on the second. So no, I didn't lose anyone.

Divine pulse is a good mechanic that streamlines savescumming

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>playing on easy

Edelgard and Golden Deer are too anime. Blue Lions is the best

this game is pretty good, and addicting

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>>playing on easy
I wasn't on easy, Mercedes just got a crit.

Spaghetti hair and his crew are so far my favorite characters out of the whole cast. Outside of Sylvain's rampant skirt chasing, everyone's pretty down to earth, even Sylvain when he wants to.

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Anyone not playing the Golden Chad's is fucking dumb. They have everything and are the most interesting house. Best girls and the best bois (even Lorenz is based). Bootlickers need not apply.

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Which house is the least fedora

Picked golden deer. expected meme team but instead got a pretty good squad.

Have you done any of Felix's supports yet?

Unfortunately im only on chapter 5 despite getting the game early
I've only gotten his support with male MC. Dude wants to fight and nothing else, but I have to see his deal with his dad. Honestly I think the only problem Blue Lions have is rampant daddy issues.

How do you recruit students from other houses? Also can I recruit as many as I want or is there a limit?

"canon" will be the dlc route.

Do you have to go ||Black Eagles|| to get the best ending?

I went Gold Deer because of Claude and Raphael. I actually ended up finding Raphael kind of annoying, but Claude is boss.

I picked Eaglebros but I heard LionChads are cool. Dimitri seems kino. Probably picking them on my 2nd playthrough

I'm liking the game so far but fuck I hate the switch. My left joycons thumbsticks doesn't respond half of the time when I flick it up. Luckily you can get by most of the game using fast travel, and the dpad

You know you can send those in to nintendo to get repaired right? If it's not stick drift you probably bought an old switch model that has the shit left joycon connection. They usually fix those for free.

Get his support with Dimitri.

How’s replaying for a different route?
Do you start from scratch or is it like a new game +?

Only if you Wana be the bitch boy of the empire. Deer is Canon route that's why Claude is the only one completely inverted on the cover and in the center. Edelfart is bait for low IQ waifu collectors.

Nah man I'm only playing handheld. It's not an old one. It's just how the joycons are. They're junk. Also I can't send it to Nintendo because I changed the shells myself. That's not why it doesn't work though. I've had the same issue with my last pair of joycons

Why is the guy upside down

Yes. There's not much going on in that brain of yours if that's all you can think about.

He's Austrailian.

I’m not very far but Dedue is easily my most useful unit right now, his personal skill of +4 defense if you don’t attack is godly.

I picked the girl because I think with my pee pee.

Imagine actually picking a house with potential faggots. Golden Deers all the way.

There's a fish of mystery event going on in the monastery but I used all my fishing bait last week. Is there any way to get more?

I picked the blonde guy cause I think with my butthole

I picked Blue because Ingrid is cute as fuck. Mine is getting str screwed hard though.

Imagine choosing the irrelevant house that's basically filler.

Who poison mushroomed your cornflakes dear?

>Hubert's C supports are just him going around roasting everyone
kek

Still waiting thanks to fucking Amazon. I ordered it five months ago and they can't deliver it anywhere near the release date.

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It has 3 of the 4 best girls

>tfw my Dedue keeps getting res and speed rolls
>decided to play to this and give him all the res and speed items
He 4x attacks everything with gauntlets and his health and defenses are so bloated nothing can touch him anymore. What a beast.

Remind me, what's the difference between a sniper and a Horse archer again? Aside from the Mov.

It's a combination of having the stat they like (Dex, etc), the skill they like (Riding, etc), and support level (include them in choir practice, invite to meals, give them gifts, etc).

So say Bernadetta likes Str and Bows. If you have like 30 Str, you could probably recruit her at E+ Bows and no support. Or if you get 12 Str, C Bows, C rank support, she might be fine joining.

No limits on how many characters you can recruit, but functionally getting your stats/skills/support that high all take time units, so it could be difficult to grab more than 4 or so, and if they don't overlap on skills at all even that's a stretch. So aim to focus on whoever you want most first.

>Thought I was going to hate Bernadetta
>Instead love the heck out of her

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black eagles because Dorothea makes my pee pee hard. can't figure out a good team though

How many people can you recruit in this game before the end of Part 1? Literally as many people as possible? Or just like 2 or 3?

I'm at the battle of the Eagle and Lion and I still haven't managed to recruit one.

So is it better to change class as soon as I can or wait till the level cap and then do it?

someone told me to grind fishing for renown so when can i start buying bait to do that.

Ignatz is an excellent mage and archer. 20+ hit personal skill means he never misses. Lorenz is also a pretty good tanky mage.

Depends. Some of the bonuses for maxing out a class are good but others are not worth wasting time shooting for.

total level is separate from class level and weapon skill level you should switch as soon as your current is maxed out probably.

So btw There is AMERCIAN LOCALISATION BULLSHIT in this one as well.
During Ingrid and Sylvain's C support-
JP
>I:You once tried to woo a guy who was crossdressing!!
>S: That was a grave mistake!
>Random passerby: Wow so even guys are okay for Sylvain
EN
>I:You were eyeing a a ""scarecrow"" once
>S: That was a tragic mistake!
>random passerby: wow anything goes for him?

Waiting for the Lunatic difficulty to go both Blue and Golden Chads. Going with the shit Eagles first, but from what I've seen already from the other two houses is that the Deers get obliterated by magic users.

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>Have been sitting on the house selection screen for the past 10 minutes
>Black Eagle seems like the defacto "canon" and "first playthrough" route, but the students seem boring as hell
>Blue Lions seems to have a bigger focus on melee combat
>Golden Deer seems to have the largest amount of interesting characters
Please help me Yea Forums, I want to free myself from this torment and actually play the game

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So when they learn the skill of that class, then I should reclass them?

Claude is better than Takumi?

Anyone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you need to master the class in order to keep the skills.

playing blue lions right now and they're pretty much run of the mill
everyone's progression is hyper linear and they cover all options so they're a pretty safe pick. half of them are a bunch of stuck up nobels and the other half are airheads (im not that far in though) but ive grown attached to them. Also Mercedes will be the mother of my children

Nice. That's what I like to see.

p-pls respond

black falcons, the one with the girl because i don't be tryna chill with them niggas.

>Mercedes and Ingrid get a downgrade in hairstyle
REEEEEEEEEE

lmao
Cant have the twitter trannies launching a crusade, I guess.

You don't have children with Mercedes. She's a dyke and both Byleths have the same endings with her.

Why you niggas saying females can be dark mages? Just call them blacked mages, fuck's sake.

Tell me lads. I am currently doing the deers and am in great need of a swordsman cuz the only one I got is myself. Who do I recruit?

Also why the fuck can Lysithea not become a warlock or anything with the dark mastery thing I got from the DK? Isn't she THE dark mage? And fags like the blue hair guy can become a warlock, makes no sense to me. Seems like I can only go for the lvl 30 reason and faith combo and not doing reason alone.

Where do I find dual audio? I don't see it on the options.

>want to buy 3H
>applied to have Joycons repaired and wont have them for a few weeks

What should I do bros?

Catherine.

hilda she's already good at Lance and Axes and she has a bonus for heavy armor. Focus her on Swords and Riding and you've got yourself a weapon master Great Knight.

Extras in the main menu

buy new ones you poorfag

I really liked most FE games but I really really disliked the characters and story in Fates. Are the characters more tolerable? How is the translation?

Felix is the defacto myrmidon of this game. That being said, Lysie has budding talent with swords (give her a Levin Sword however) and Marianne has two magic swords exclusive to her Crest.

Thanks user. Kinda dumb to put it there.

I like Felix better for brawling, because he actually has the speed to quad, the power to do decent damage, and his personal skill adds 5 damage per hit so it really shines on quad hits.

Three Houses thread, I need a bit of buyer's advice. I live up in Leafland. Is it worth waiting around for a special edition of the game to show up, or should I just purchase a standard copy? I've been hounding the four retailers that sell it for weeks now, but even then I've had no luck.

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This game overloads my brain with information jesus.

Blue Lions

Alright so for recruiting people from other houses, what are the actual numbers on each stat that you need? I see Dex and riding, strength and bow, speed and sword, but nowhere actually tells how much of each I need

They will repeat the important stuff. Just keep that in mind and only care about what interestes you.

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Based and goldpilled
I like Annette though

I was expecting to hate Lorenz based on his design but he's actually /our guy/

Have you guys found a way to check Battalion weapons? I'm trying to use same weapon battalion/officer but the battalion UI is fucking useless.

It's a sliding scale, it also includes the amount of support (not the rank itself, but like the invisible friendship points that build up to unlock those from inviting them to meals and other events). On average, somewhere around 15 in that stat, C rank in that skill, and C support available for that person is enough to recruit them.

If you get them up to B support, then you could probably recruit someone with about 10 in the stat and D in the skill. Take'em out to tea, meals, give them gifts, you'll get them quick enough.

Best stinky girl

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Ah, gotcha. so each stat contributes a bit to an overall amount that I need for recruitment? Also, how would you suggest recruiting, for example, someone who wants Mag? Byleth has very poor mag gains

Vote for your favourite lord
strawpoll.me/18383851

Different classes have different growths I think, might have to suck it up and be a mage class if you want those.

what an alpha chad

>not voting Claude
He's what makes Golden Deer comfiest house

wtf I thought Yea Forums was supposed to have shit taste

>Beagles route is only 18 chapters, Blue Lions is 22, Church is 21 and Golden Deers is 20
Beagles is worst of the bunch and it's all fucking rout maps

Damn, i didn't expect the collector edition to be so big.

GIVE ME FUEL
GIVE ME FIRE
GIVE ME THE ANNA I DESIRE
HUH

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Golden Deer, I had decided on that pre-release and I was virtually on a media blackout so seeing that Claude had an actually interesting personality from the start compared to the other two sealed it for me. Also helps that his house has the cutest girls and that Claude reminds me of based hoyman

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>Yea Forums loves punishedbro
Wow for once Yea Forums has based tastes

Focus on the skill and support to offset the bad Mag stat. Like, Lysithea really likes Mag and Faith, so the absolute best thing is every weekend you've got, you'll want to invite her to choir practice. Kills so many birds with one stone, boosting your faith/authority, bonds with whoever you choose, anyone you've already got's faith increases, and professor level. Then give gifts, make them the third wheel to invite for meals.

If you really focus them with almost every time point you get, you can probably get them in a month.

Not surprised, beagles was supposed to be the easiest route since they designed it to be the first route anyone plays

Fuck Rhea, from "my home your home" to "i hope i don't have to tell you what will happen if you won't stay silent". Cunt.

do you still gain support if your waifu is the bodyguard?

Pls respond

>Black Eagles is full of autists
I love it already

Who /Petra/ here?

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You can wait a few months till the free Lunatic mode and the DLC drops

There are literally four routes in the game as it is and it should take you well over 24 hours to complete one of them if you are going to attempt a blitzkrieg.

Redpill me on Claude

i will teach her the language of love and roam the plains with her

There's nothing on him? He tries a coupe of schemes early on, but aside from that he's a generic shonen hero and his route is just that.
For a "schemer", he's just a nice guy, nothing else to his character.

Most sane and most chill route free of most suffering from other routes

I want to bend her over a desk, pull up that miniskirt and fuck her in the ass dry while pulling her ponytail, taking pleasure in the sound of her screams until I blast my load balls deep in her anus, releasing a beautiful mixture of cum and blood as I pull out

I was deadset on Blue Lions but after looking at the stats and hearing about the plotlines I'm going Golden Deer first. Seems like the most balanced team to start with and more lore then drama heavy.

So Golden Deer is the "Golden" route basically? Black Eagles and Blue Lions are for people who want more moral grey areas and a genuine conflict of ideals?

Went bluebros, but will be going deer in ng+. Will also try to poach a couple of their students, they really seem to have the best class

Yep

I’m a patrician so my favorite route is the Black Eagles, to usher in a true era of strength

Is it true that BE has fewer chapters than Blue Lions?

How many chapters does each route have?

Everything still goes to shit, but watching from the sidelines prevents real drama.
The core of the game is focused Edelgard's ideals and the only one who has stakes in that regard is Dimitri.

Blue Lions is what happens if you want to play an orthodox fire emblem game with an orthodox lord. It has the most maps.

See

I wouldn't say he's the most orthodox lord, he needs a ton of pussy/bro therapy to stop being more bloodthristy than most lords in the series.

Lysithea is the cutest. I can't wait to see her grown up.

Isn't there a rhea route?

Blue Lions have 22 chapters, Black Eagles only have 18 chapters.
He's remarkably similar to Ephraim but more unhinged but also prepared to become king and rule his country

Yeah, if you do black eagles and find what Edelgard did fucked up, you can go and defend the church instead.

Reminder that Edelgard is canon route and she will be in smash

Chrom does too. Even with Robin, without a time traveling daughter you hear he goes on a bloodthirsty long war with Plegia and Valm.

>grown up
user...

>Black Eagles
>They are mostly red

Please no

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I never thought I'd use it until i accidentally ended my turn before i could move units to cover all of my half dead low def units and lost 3 people.

Between that and now that I know it's the longest route it'd prob be the one I play the most but I want a more neutral start for the first playthrough to get used to the new mechanics and get a feel for things and Golden Deer seem forgiving in that regard.

Black eagles is pretty forgiving, it's lets you fall back on mommy Edelgard and unga bunga your way to victory if something bad happens.

I wouldn't call him orthodox, one of the first things he tells you is that traditions exist for reason
Compare it to Ike who forces his army to sleep together with beastmen, monsters who have no problem with slitting your throat at night because they think you insulted them.
Ideals wise Edelgard is more orthodox lord.

She 15 when you first see her, most of her growing was already done. She's a flat womanlet forever. You should have been able to figure this out from the fact that she's voiced by Aoi Yuuki.

>Aoi Yuuki
I am sorry user I didnt see the the jap voices option before starting and just figured there was none without a day one patch.

>Tfw want to recruit her from the start but don't plan on going GD first playthrough. Probably want Bernadetta too actually

Different user. I'm picking up the game later today. I read on how to recruit students from other houses from some posts ago. So I would just need to hang out with Lysithea/Bernadetta very early on? Ignoring my own house students at first?

How high do you need to get your stats in order to steal someone? Ingrid and Petra require dex, flying, and riding. I'll take some classes for them but don't want to waste to much time since I never use those stats

>aoi yuuki
I hate this goblin

Oh no no no no. Didn't blue lion fags say Raphael is a shittier version of Doodoo prelaunch?

Nigger faggot

You could do it any time really, but yeah. Invite them to sing in choir, eat meals with you, take some lectures from other professors in faith/bows.

Somewhere around 10-15 in a stat, C rank in the skill, and C support available/done.

I’m playing them right now and most of them are disappointing as shit. Ignatz, marriette and raph in particular have been getting garbage level ups.

When does the "Time Skip" happen? I just got the Sword of Creator and just kinda gauging how much longer till then.
I also don't like the fact that I gotta Rest to restore only 5 ticks of it's durability, so stupid

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>he doesn’t want to IMAGINE aoi yuuki

Source?

That might still be true if his growths are amazing, but from the stat caps Raph seems massively superior in HP, Dex, Lck and Cha. He also sports slightly higher Res.
Dedue has a smaller edge in Spd and Def but Spd doesn't matter for the slowest characters in the game that'll get doubled by everything.

>Lorenz
>based
Maybe I haven't unlocked those supports yet, but he seems like a twat.

That was the biggest surprise for me

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>manuela is the hottest haracter in the game
>she's a used up slut
What do

Normally I'd say the higher Def matters just as much as every other stat for an armor knight but because of the mechanics in this game with gambits and skills and shit having raw HP, Luck and Charm matters a lot too.

Is it possible to recruit three students?

Dude, literally just pick based on the combat style you like.

Cute veins, user.

>this fucking foreshadowing of Dmitri in the Felix support conversation

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You are straight up never hitting those stat caps. Absolutely not. Your level cap is 50, which you almost definitely aren't reaching either.

Dedue is generally better because his ability's fantastic (4 def buff for waiting vs 5-20% chance to restore 10% HP at the start of a turn), especially early on. And I'm betting his growths are more consistently leaned towards hp/def than raph's.

Very cute.

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>go into the armory to replenish weapons
>mfw they're selling a Torch
Oh no

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Mine too. I know for sure I'm a brainlet because I'm playing on hard, got to the first Death Knight encounter, and my units were from level 2 to 11. I did not level everyone evenly although I tried.

Will he reach his caps though? Like most awakening characters had 30 or so in res but rarely reached double digits.

maybe i would pirate and play it on pc.

Who is the strongest unit in the game?

Me

You weren’t so strong when I fucked your mom last night

On Lunatic with the increased enemy spawns you can pretty easily have your main 3 or 4 units hit 50.

Byleth and the faction leaders are obviously strong because of all the special shit they get.
As for normal units my vote goes to Lysithea who's a fucking tactical nuke once you get her out of the early levels.

>Edelgard a dyke

Nigga you don't know what the fuck that word means.

Is her sword ability really that good? I like the range mages have and I’d rather not waste a lot of time on a meme that’s not much better than the shit she’s innately good at.

>check out some people playing it
>some still haven't realized that weapon triangle isn't a thing anymore
>one thought that miasma was light magic
laughing out loud

All the girls look generic as fuck, though I do have a soft spot for not-starfire Petra.

neither because the game and characters are ugly as shit
i'll probably cave and replay conquest though, atleast the maps aren't a fucking snore and the characters in that are actually fuckable

It's decent and so is her special class but she's so good at nuking it's not worth it. Only thing I'd consider is whether you want to keep her on foot or give her a mount, either horse or pegasus, to help her maneuver around because she's so fragile.

BLUE LIONS CHADS RISE UP!

His ass.

It says month will pass if i look for Flayn, so what do i do? Postpone it until the last sunday, or is it okay to go search for her right away?

I forgot canto was back. I guess I should start alternating between authority and horseback so she'll be ready when it becomes relevant.

>blue lions
>chads
sit the fuck down beta

One shot him with a critical. Feels good man.

WHICH ONE OS THE GIRL REEEEEEEEEE

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This is just a fakeout choice, you don't choose for realsies until later

>There are “people” who look up unit information before they even play the game instead of playing blind

Christ sake.

My man's is the hero the Alliance needs. He is the best noble in the game.

I c u bro

Keep coping bootlicker

Hahahahahahah

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Let's be honest, it's probably because he's the only one that's a white man.

I better not lying
I don't want the faggots

>I don't want the faggots
Then why are you choosing the house with three of them?

I really feel like the bosses needed more HP. I remember the fat fucks from GBA games that took a half dozen units surrounding and attacking them to take down in a single turn.

Same but Best Buy

She can't get guys to seal the deal. She is a pure virgin even if not through choice.

>Hanneman mentions how a book she returned to him had unknown fluids on it
Nope she's a slut

Just wait until the misson starts automatically on the final day.

He is absolutely a fucking twat in some supports, but in other he's the most based dude (but still acts like a retarded foppish noble) Still one of my MVP since even as a mage he's got really solid mixed defenses, so i can just park him at the front without worry.

my 2 other tanks (outside Byleth) are Raphael (expected) and SOMEHOW archer Leonie has 16 def at lvl 12. i have no idea how that happened but i'm not complaining

Vaginal juices from sexual frustration, bro. Hanneman says unknown because he's an incel with no idea.

Man up and put a baby in her

t. never played Fates.

Hanneman has learned that pussy is ephemereal, but DISCOVERY is eternal.

She's an incel.

>incel
LMAO what? he 100% bangs edelgard if you don't pick black agles

Can i have a honest opinion on the game?
why do you guys like / don't like so far?
Do you consider the game a step in the right direction or is it just more waifufag pandering?

>Ingrid Dedue support

My sides did not expect that at all.

t.Edeldyke

Revelations was developed from the start alonside the other two and it was discovered during the datamine. There's no evidence of the DLC (which was described as a side-story) being a golden route outside of "muh fates had one"

DESPITE BEING 13% OF THE HOLY KINGDOM

Is it true that some characters other than Byleth can get married with A rank support?

Thanks man. You sure she won't die or something if i wait?

All lords have supports with each other in datafiles

Yes

Post them, because I don't remember that.

it's good imo
gameplay is better than anything since awakening and tthe story is better thn fates
supports are a bit boring I feel like but overall it's a good game
the abbey stuff when you roam around isn't too boring and you can choose to skip it

I like to pair her with Dorothea.

All chatters are ugly shits
Edelgard and green persona loli are the cutest anyway so it doesn't matter

Poached Mercedes already, Ingrid is comign along soon, and probably got 1 more i can get. I'm thinking bernadetta or ashe. Which of those is better at swordstuff?

Is the new hand to hand class any good or is it just meme tier?

>Choose Golden Deer
>Like them a except Lorenzo or w/e the uggo stalker pompous sniff my farts guy is named

I can't even plan a build for him because I can't stand the sight of him. He will be forever cucked and alone on supports for all my files.

Do the units you borrow from other houses die for good in classic and stay dead after the timeskip?

>She was ashamed of her deceptions, her promotions, her pretensions of self-certainty and pride; she was sorry about her passivity, her delusions, her inability to express what he now believed was the case- that she truly regretted killing Dimitri, that she missed his presence as much as anybody and wished his removal hadn't been necessary. Even as she circulated her empire she knew that the smiles disappeared when she passed by.

>She received so many mindless threats that she could read them without any reaction except curiosity. She kept to her Imperial Palace all day, writing pointless treatises against crests and browsing her garden, looking at her destiny in every flower and carved dagger tree

>There would be no eulogies for Edelgard, no portraits of her body would be displayed in the capital, no people would crowd the streets in the heat to see her funeral cortege, no biographies would be written about her, no children named after her, no one would ever go on a pilgrimage to honor the Mad Empress. to stand in the torture dungeon she and her family had grown up in.

>Dedue, son of a simple blacksmith from Duscur, came to the Adrestian Empire without a plan, without much of anything besides a lance, a hole in his chest, and a deep, solemn resolve

>The lance would pierce through the plate and into her heart, and Hubert would scream, but Edelgard would only stare up at Dimitri's retainer, blood spilling from her mouth before she could find the words to apologize

>The Adrestrian Empire was harsh and unforgiving. An assassin taking out the Empress would never be able to leave alive. And yet, as if respecting the man - as if feeling that he had suffered enough - no one, not the Empress's royal guards nor her border agents stopped Dedue, as he limped his way back to the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and placed an unbloodied dagger onto his lord's grave

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>Not liking Lorenz
He's the best

Wait, units from your house don't die in classic? I always restart a battle if someone dies.

Yes, hand to hand for units with the right stats are extremely good.

Basically, you want retard strenght because the weapon give almost nothingm but FREE brave make them 1 round pretty much any low def unit. Raphael is one of my most usefull unit as a brawly, and he's gonna go up the chain to warmaster.

Bernadetta, Ashe is a bit of a shitter as a fighter honestly. Only plus-side is his personal skill is locktouch for free, but it doesn't come in handy nearly enough to make up for his awful other stats.

>and placed an unbloodied dagger onto his lord's grave

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Does Lunatic only affect combat or does it fuck with Academy stuff?

They don't die during the school period (due to plot elements) but they die during the timeskip/ don't show up for the reunion.

How high stats do I actually need for recruiting from other houses? In Lysithea's case for example, how high mag do I need?

unit's die in classic what i'm asking is if you ask assistance from another house and they die is that one less enmey you have to deal with after the timeskip or can you systematically kill off other houses before the war?

>not liking Lorenz
Should have picked blue lions if you are gonna be a faggot.

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it lowers with support level, but without support it's pretty high, like 15-20 minimum

Damn. I guess I need to start asking her to tea then to raise that level faster. Thanks user.

All the Golden Deer are shit.
>Claude wants to use you like an onahole but isn't sure if somebody hasn't cum inside you before, so all your social interactions with Claude are him washing and battering you in baby powder to make your your Sword of the Creator is nice and smooth when he rams his bastard cock in
>Ignatz stats growths are less focused than my "career"
>the only thing that isn't one dimensional about Raphael are his muscles
>You might be able to pin Hilda down and fuck her tits but only because you cleaned her shit up earlier
>I can't even remember the last time Mr. "Knight" Lorenz had a Str gain
>Im sorry Leonie that Im not Jeralt, enjoy the bench you bipolar attributed bulldyke
>Lysithea does magic, that's it.
>Oh wow pretty girl with self-esteem issues and probably tragic backstory. Marianne is so interesting!

Did I miss anyone? God I hate these shitters so much Im close to restarting with another house.

Holy shit gunatlets are fucking sick. I just tried them out on Byleth with the second story fight against the knights. 4x attacks a turn are sick.

What happens if Bernadetta procs with Gauntlets? Can you get a x8?

>not respecting Claude's Hustle
>not using Ignatz as a verstalie magic or bow character
>not getting Raphs supports up and seeing him as a hard working protector and good guy
>not cleaning up after Hilda and treating her like the sweetheart she is.
>dark knight needing str.
>not seeing Leonie as a rival that pushes byleth martially
>literally the best mage in the game
>not seeing Mari as the perfect Pegasus knight and helping her overcome her tragedies

Literally never gonna make it

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Just four hours in and there's so much stuff everywhere.

>Lysithea
>Dedue
>Ferdinand
Best non-lord of each house. You can't prove me wrong.

>not putting chie on this shitpost image

KINO

>marianne

I also want to know this, but I doubt even pirates are far enough in to answer this question.

Lorenz is pure Yea Forums, 100% /ourguy/

You are right.

Here

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>Not having a backup controller in case you lose access to your main controller for a little while
You wouldn't drive a car without carrying a spare tire, would you?

Hey, Jetstream Sam has a question for you. Jetstream Sam has never played Fire Emblem before but this looks good. Is it actually good and worth full price? And also, Jetstream Sam saw that there was story DLC coming out eventually, do you think this will be add-ons to the existing routes or an entirely new route?

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Gauntlets have lower mt but low weapon weight and always double when initiating. Basically it's what brave weapons were in fates. Not bad but it's bad against more armored classes. You'll probably want to pair it with a strong single hit weapon, like say, the axes that the classes also excel at.

Just keep a Mace around, axe with free anti armor.

I'm awaiting my lion playthrough to see how felix with gauntlets does.

From least to most Fedora:
>Golden Deer
This one is least Fedora and just positive shit
>Blue Lions
It's not really that Fedora at all but it has some shit that'll make you think it is
>Black Eagles
This is fedora wearing edgelord-tier and extremely fedora

Wait, torches are in this? Say it ain't fucking so.

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Pick golden deer if you want to avoid homosexuals

If only you knew :)

>Love archery
>Don't wanna be neutral
I was planning on going Blue Lions when I got the game since I usually go Law. This is a tough choice, indeed.

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Edelgard cucks you?

Pick Golden Stag. Claude is the first archer that doesn't suck.

Dimitri isn't law he's more neutral. He's just fucking pissed.

And what if I want homosexuals

Jetstream Sam demands answers posthaste

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>Claude is the first archer that doesn't suck
Say what you want about Takumi as a character, but he was fucking broken as a unit.

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Eagles. Lindhart is your only choice.

Hey you remember daddy alois and his male S support ?

It's just him being a bro and hooking you up to a wife later. Faggots Btfo

Black Eagles, because who the hell doesn't want to be on the Hraesvelg side
>moralfags

But Dimitri is the least Fedora, he literally rebuilds his holy kingdom and most likely marries the archbishop.

Chose Black Eagles and I regret it so much. Should have chose Blue Lions. Fuck having to make choices, man.

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When does permadeath start happening? I'm early in the game and I think Raphael died but I'm mot too sure. One of the first battles, against the other classmates, had a message box pop up where units don't stay dead, and the animation for getting defeated didn't look like an actual death either.

Just finish quick then you can bask in the superior playthrough

Is the early part of the game about hot bandit dick or does it pick up the pace quite quickly?

Because Edelgard is a retarded cunt and there's no way in hell Byleth would side with her after what she's done to him.

The very first battle against student units do not die.

Afterward, if a unit lose in battle it does ''die'' It retreats and become unavalaible, but still alive for cutscene and story stuff.

There's bandit side missions later but 3-4 chapters in its major story

The greater importance of the characters this time around makes permadeath more of a permaretreat situation instead, where they're still around for story shit but you can never use them in combat again.

I am going to stick my dick in that cougar if it kills me! Veronica Taylor really gets to use her range ever since she went freelance

Tell me which house has the cutest girls.

Is this a bug? I keep finding lost items for Hilda but the game won't let me give them to her. I'm in the Black Eagles so I thought I just can't recruit her but she shows up in my potential supports unlike characters I know for sure I can't recruit like Claude.
Anyone know what that's about?

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Golden Deer.

You can recruit Hilda, you need to get a paralogue with her to unlock her

I'm early on and iron gauntlets will be dealing something like 5x2 while an iron axe will be dealing 12 damage with better accuracy. It's not just armored, but higher defense foes in general. That said they're fun and very effective on squishier enemies like archers so I won't complain.

is there marriage in this game?

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Stag

I have a question about S supporting
I want to setup a save where I can reload near the end of the game to pick a different girl to see their ending without playing the the whole game over for one scene (I only plan to redo the whole game 3 full times one for each house) can you only S support one and that's locked in or can you S rank multiple units and the game lets you choose who to marry?

You can S rank and in the epilogue you get married. Because there's a war and it's not time for marriages.

Overall, Golden Deer
But my wife Mercedes is the cutest of all

>3 full times one for each house
But this is four games in one.

So no kid stuff like the 3DS games?

weakling

Nope, A/S ranks are romantic but everything else is strictly like the older FEs.

Nope, no eugenics

G O L D E N D E E R

>Edelgard asks you if you're still crying when Jeralt bites the dust
She's a bigger cunt than I expected her to be

Surprise MVP's ?

Ignatz is probably the one that keeps monster from fucking my ass with seal strenght and his range. He also never misses, which is neat. Shame is strenght is shit.

The Church route splits from BE so I only need to make a save at that choice not start from scratch.

Edgelord, Dorothea and my dumb Island barbarian wife are top tier

but they cant compete with brown knight or top cake

What chapter is the BE/Church split?

Thanks, is it something I might have missed? I'm about to do the second mock battle.

Who here autistically save scums when they fuck up tea time?

Shinon, takumi, niles, and echoes archers are great.

on that note, am I retarded or isnt there any way to load a save other than from the title screen?

I love Ashe as a character, but his voice acting makes him sound like a total dork every time he opens his mouth

You get the option to save before the choice, so just relax

I picked blue lion
Is heavy armor a good route to go for my man Dedue?

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>Heavy armor in Mount Emblem
lmao

He's pompous as fuck but he actually cares about being a good noble

Just look at him. That chad was born for heavy armor

No that's fine, I'm just wondering exactly how much BE content you actually get. I've heard it has the least amount of chapters, so I just want to know how many chapters of it you get after the split.

yes

Unironically this. Dimitri was the most boring looking lord pre launch and then the leaks came out. Now I just need to poach Lysithea and Hilda or Petra and I'll be happy

I picked Blue Lions because Annette is cute. But now I wanna kidnap Bernie and Lys from their houses. Is it worth turning them over? Some people have told me that it's a waste of time that you could use to upgrade your own students.

Making Dedue a Thief at Lv 10 gives him 14 speed and like 14 defense, I can't wait to reap those growth rate level ups on speed. Meanwhile Annette just can't be bothered to get ANY speed level ups. Surprisingly, my Mercedes has 12 speed and she started as one of the slowest units.

Lys is, she'a great magic nuke.

You could, or make him a Thief/Merc to boost his speed while keeping his insane HP and Def

>Making Dedue a Thief
DATS RACIS

Kek I wasn't even thinking about that, I just think it would be great to have someone else with locktouch and boost his speed at the same time

Bernie is not very good at anything, but she's endearing like a pet. Lys is definitively worth the steal, from an unit perspective.

Sylvain is based

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HOW MANY CHARACTERS CAN I RECRUIT BOiS?

Her supports are a fucking riot.

According to my own empirical data, no, it's accurate.

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I just stole Marianne and she's great. It doesn't hurt that she's adorable.

GUYS I LOVE MERCEDES SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!

Explain further.

I love blue lions, the inner circle behave exactly like you'd expect to, a bunch of childhood friends who know each other extremely well.

Lysithea is the best mage in the game.

How much does it take to steal a unit? I'm only on chapter 5, but I havent been able to get anyone yet despite getting C supports with Leonie, Ingrid, Annete, and at least D in every skill they like, C in some.

is there a webpage that shows all the girls so i know what house to pick

also is there finally yuri options or do I gotta play the dumb male again?

Just a friendly tip but try to befriend and steal Lysithea before ch 17 if you don't play golden deers. Youve been warned.

Can you not explore cathedral and do free missions? Also Dudedu Brawler or Axebro?

You get some, but the supports are the exact same as the male ones.

NG+ exists if you want it.

I fucking love Dimitri

Dimitri is cool and all but dedue and felix are the true chad lions

Doing Blue Lions right now. This has aged surprisingly well.

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Golden Dear
Anyone know what the plus and minus mean?

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Kino as fuck

What is her problem?

It represents the net stat gain/decrease from class changing. you can use the shoulder buttons to jump tabs and see exactly what stats you're gaining/losing

Got him it just now
>takes no damage on literally every class except mages
Jesus christ Dedue is a beast

Their the least fedora tho

I think that's your total stats so she should get +1 point in total if she changes.

>Sylvain before battle literally says that dicking Edelgard during school year could solve all her mental problems
My sides

Not really, only Edelgard girl s support the same

Important question, are there any mommies? This might influence my decisio in picking up the game

Later on both Byleth and Dimitri outclass the rest of the house hard, but yeah, Deude is always great.

Right train of thought, but that still falls short.

>walks up to Edelgard
>kills her
>walks away free
Based

Reminder that datamine revealed space for Claude/Dimitri Dimitri/Edelgard and Edelgard/Claude supports.

Nintendo was keeping up with our memes.

Is that what the story content next year is going to be all about? Are they really doing "DLC contains the true ending" thing again?

Which route would be the closest equivalent to Law in an SMT game ? Order and Hierarchy above all else, and ruling from an utilitarian perspective

Felix has been my MVP in every battle. Gave him some fists and he is deleting people left and right. When does Dimitri awaken genocide mode?

Lmao

Based and redpilled

Black eagles because they kill the most people and most fair and just state of existence is death

Does gender matter for units in this game or can everyone be anything?

God it feels good to be a Lion chad. Even when we lose we win

Dimitri values fairness and order above all I guess.
He went nuclear because Edelgard is a cunt, but that's all.

The best movie no one gives a shit about

>all these people hating on Edelgard
Yikes.

So did Claude end up being a secret asshole like everyone thought in the end or what?

Nope, he says he almost uses (you) but nothing, ven his route is the lightest of them all, really shonen.

No, he's a bro and his route is the lore/infodump route

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Will this game get a price drop later on, or not? It's first party, but not a big property like Mario.

>most used unit online is eledgard
Yikes

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Does the design for actual battles ever get any better? Unlike conquest so far I’m feeling zero pressure to do anything but creep Dedue up with standard bait shit since enemies in this one don’t seem to have the “don’t attack if zero damage” behavior.

Seems by popularity it’s red>yellow>blue, expected Deer to be the least popular kind of surprised.

You could have waited for the patch because hard in this is pretty much normal.
Can't have journos admit they chose easy after all.

It has mommy daughters

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People going black eagles first is a given.

>Most popular unit is a hard hitting lord type who's mandatory in 90% of battles
oh my god what a fucking shocker

This is just sorties, we'll see the real opinions a few weeks after.

It might change later. I'm playing BE first because I liked it the least. I want to play the best route last.

Are fog of war maps still unfun? Do the enemies still ignore the fog and rush straight at you?

>Is voice by ash ketchum
Its nice to see her get more roles

Please tell me I can make the pope a mother

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>anime edna krabapple

because the story intrigued me the most, im 10 hours in and I dont really like any units in the house besides felix though, him as a fighter is slaughtering everything

Yep, dlc music from RD,Awaking,Fates, and Gaiden.

she's a crazy zelaot
don't bother

Being anime is all she needed to become attractive.

Crazy zealots give the best sex
let me make her a mommy

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Everyone is still only playing one route right now, and from what I've seen so far a ton of people's first impression of Dimitri is he is too boring. So as time goes on I think BL will raise more in popularity, but then again maybe not.

His route is tailor made for girls, so there's that at least. I can see him at least coming out on top of guys pretty easily.

edelgard is the worst fire emblem female ever conceived
what a stupid dyke

Wait. Aren't you able to do an inf map on normal mode and get max stats? Is there a limit to how many students you can turn?

Because they spoiled the timeskip designs in promotional material at e3 and only Dimitri's is any good. I don't regret it at all but his transition from "GRR MUST HAVE REVENGE NOTHING MATTERS GET AWAY FROM ME" back to "lol okay i'm cool to lead the kingdom again sorry guys" is way too sudden. Also during the big battle between the three of you Claude just randomly gives the order to attack everyone because he can't tell who is who among all of the "chaos". It felt super forced just to have him involved. I honestly liked the writing for the most part up until this point but I think I'm nearing the end of the game and it's just kind of falling apart very suddenly.

Picked Blue Lions, at Ch. 5, and I feel like restarting. I've been so formulaic with class and goals selection that I feel like a fucking NPC. Should I restart if I want to try out more interesting builds, or should I just power through the rest of this playthrough?

Oh and Edelgard magically escaping on her own with no explanation every time you "kill" her even though she's a slow-ass armor knight "lord".

Restart. The best feeling is to try out dumb shit with classes

Considering who Byleth is and what he/she means to him, it's understandable

Who has the biggest tits in the game

Marianne and Dorothea

Is it better than awakening? The game looks good but I thought Awakening was average at best

I picked black eagles but edelgard has the three stars thingie on her black magic path, should I teach her black magic?

Rhea in Dimitri route was pure kino

Byleth or Manuela

Manuela.

I think its better. The writing and characters are better. Maps have been solid so far, nothing great but better than most of Awakening's on average. Gameplay is better. Music is fantastic, but I also thought Awakening and the subsequent games had great music too.

In on chapter 8, Eagles.

Much better. The maps are way more varied, the story is light-years ahead and the characters aren't all one note with the exception of maybe Felix because he sucks ass unless you pair him with Annette.

Can you only S support Rhea in the church route?

Golden Deer cause Claude's VA is OURguy
youtube.com/watch?v=xjljc2JabaY

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This image makes me want to go blue but everyone says he's boring.

I'm going to breed this dirty unkempt whore.

>Beagles have 18 chapters
Fucking disappointing. Dimitri was like one chapter before facing a Seiros-possessed Rhea who is the final boss and so many fucking maps are just rout rout rout. I hate that I fell for the Beagles shilling, I should've picked Blue Lions first.

His video announcing he was Claude sold me on Golden Deer. Literally flipped himself upside down. Incredibly based.

Pegasus Knights are locked to women, and there are a few that are locked to male but I can't remember which

>Go to FUCKING GAMESTOP to pick this up
>Have 4 empty boxes of the shelf
>Assume like a retard they have the game they are displaying as if they have it
>"Sorry bud, only had enough for pre-orders, should have pre-ordered haha."
Well "haha" right back you glue eating fuck because I'm never going to your store again

Well BE is mostly rout because killing everyone is part of the mission.

Yes.
The dude is pretty based not gonna lie. Reminds me of when Erica Lindbeck+Kyle McCarley streamed Echoes and did some dumb voicing sheenanigans
He's not.

>Still getting games from Gamestop
Even mega retailers are a better option these days.

I actually hope that there's some true end dlc. It sounds like none of the routes have anything that feels like a satisfying conclusion so I'm having trouble picking which route to end on, a true end would solve that.

Who is the admiring love letter for?

>can’t check unit weaknesses after chapter 1

>Byleths age is hidden on his/her profile
Bet that shit's important.

Play Deers next to get better context behind Edelgard's actions then play Blue Lions
Blue Lions have the most satisfying conclusion but probably has the most suffering involved for the main lord.

So is Edelgard actually the bait house with a shit route and you're supposed to pick one of the other two?

>Play Deers next to get better context behind Edelgard's actions then play Blue Lions
Not that guy but where does the church route play in?

Edelgard is not even the default route in her house, it's the church

Seteth won't be happy about this

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Based

My dick, can I marry her?

You're supposed to pick the other houses like you're supposed to go neutral in SMT. Which is to say your mileage may vary.

Yes

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She's the designated first route. Like the Fate route from Fate Stay Night. Blue Lions and Golden Deer are like Unlimited Blade Works and the Church is the Heaven's Feel.
It's actually part of the Black Eagles route but it's a split path since you get a choice to betray Edelgard if you think her actions are too much.

If you're willing to breed and fish for the rest of your life.
Yes

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should I be changing claude's class to fighter right now or just wait till I can get him to be an advanced class?

That's disappointing.
>Blue Lions and Golden Deer are like Unlimited Blade Works
So BL and GD are best routes yes?

literally (you)

I picked Gold, who's good to focus on?

So far Hilda Claude and Byleth(who is now doubling dudes with impunity) Re my MVPs, though I want to get the Chad Lorenz stronger too.
Not sure how class changes/seals and skill levels work in this game compared to earlier ones.

>Lorenz gives me his family relic
This dude is actually retarded, not only is he a massive crestlet, I literally have Lysithea with her massive throbbing Gloucester Crest AND big swinging mag stat. Does he actually expect to ever see this thing again

>playing as a daytime hooker

Which girls do I avoid so I don't get CHROM'D?

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BL is, some hiccups but it's kino the whole way through.

>pressing b makes Byleth jump on the loading screen.
You can make him dance around like a spaz if he goes back and forth.

If you read what he wrote, you'd know that Church is the best route

Lysithea.

Which is the best route to play with the femc? Might as well do it with her once since I'll be playing the game multiple times.

Game arrives tomorrow, but can someone tell me why so many people are doing cuck memes?

Now you get Chrom'd if you don't end up with anyone at all.

Blue lions and Dimitri, (you) are his happiest end too.

I liked UBW more because of redman specifically but Heaven's Feel is pretty amazing. Illya should've had her own route

Does reclassing units restrict them from using other weapons/trades other than those that class is specialized for? For example: if I specialize Felix in both Reason and Swords, and I reclass him to Myrmidon, can he still use magic? If not, should I just keep him as a Noble so he can keep that versatality?

But Dimitri is the Sakura of the game, his life is pure fucking suffering and needs you to keep him in check because he goes crazy at the slightest provocation.

Reminder that some people want the Golden Chads to kill Dedue to spare Edelgard from this ending

You need to be a magic class to use magic but every class can use all weapons.

Is keeping Claude archer/bow focused just a waste of a lord? He's doing good, but kinda starting to think tihis.

Bow classes are retarded considering how early you get close counter.

Why did Mercedes have a unique interaction with the death knight?

>he isn't going for the absolute Chad x Stacy ending
sad

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Sylvain needs to be reigned in by Ingrid. She's not doing much else other than keeping the bench warm.

>Church is the Heaven's Feel.
What is Church route? Is this Black Eagles only?

So the only way to prepare him to become a Mortal Savant would just be to reclass him into a magic class at some point before hitting Lv30?

nah the guy looks like a fucking loser

I really liked Sylvain
>yeah I sleep around
>but those girls are huge whores who only want me for my crest anyway
>so fuck them

Ignore me I can't fucking read

Characters and story are way better than Fates and there’s none of the retarded translator memes that Fates had.

Any of the hidden talents worth it?

How the fuck have people been killing the Death Knight the first time they meet him. I just got to him and everyone in my army only hits him for like 4 at most.

Then what is

Already giving my womanlet some sword/magic exp. But damn, she needs some serious babying, why the fuck did they give her a training bow to start? Literal 0 fucking damage.

Who are you planning on marrying?

Lysithea is CUTE! I have stolen her and Bernie so far. Probably all I will steal, because I have all that I want.

...

Its adveetised to be the "good" route. I think they were intending for people to play in order of Eagles>Lions>Deer.

Went in expecting a tough fight, ended up one shoting the bitch with a crit with Byleth.

I used Edel and MC to kill him. Everyone else uses their army to do chip damage to him before that.

ingrid, dunno what set to make her though.

Critting, I guess. On hard mode the only character of mine that could even live through a single round with him on that first encounter was Dedue.

Trying to woo her at the moment, and from what I can tell, it seems she is useable. What I want to know is if she counts as a "slot" for taking someone from another house or how exactly you take others

They should've tied it to a rare expensive item or just allow you to use it a certain amount of times in a playthrough.

First time you need to ignore him
Second time he's here to teach you to fucking learn how to use squads

Something did feel off about that scarecrow bit. Flayn also mentions him flirting with animals in their C support, wonder what she actually says.

My Beleth's hit strength every level and he still barely hurts the Death Knight on Steel Sword+. Are people just pumping their MUs to 10 before the fight or something?

Attached: Character Specific Arts 3H.jpg (1178x2614, 650K)

Normal mode exists

Instruct him in Reason to turn the negative trait into a positive one and then set his lesson plan to something like Sword/Reason. He's been like that for me since the start of the game and he's sitting at C+ in both at Chapter 9.
Admittedly I didn't reclass him into a magic class once so far so I dunno how well his MAG stat is doing.

I'm really enjoying the game so far but the rng leveling is awful, who thought it was a good idea to have it so a character can be rendered almost completely irredeemably useless because of some bad rolls? They should at least make it so you get the same number of stats each level.

>who thought it was a good idea to have it so a character can be rendered almost completely irredeemably useless because of some bad rolls?
Welcome to the series

She seemed like the default choice to me and her charm stat kind of reflects that. Too bad the dancer animations are goofy as fuck.

It's a gay series convention that IS can't change without dealing with a massive autistic shitstorm. If it's any consolation, you don't really need ideal characters to beat the game and it's pretty rare for a character to get completely fucked by RNG leveling.

I haven't hit strength a single time yet

It's very unlikely a character gets completely fucked to the point of unusability outside of lunatic mode. The game is easy enough it doesn't matter.
>They should at least make it so you get the same number of stats each level.
That would be pretty boring.

>who thought it was a good idea to have it so a character can be rendered almost completely irredeemably useless because of some bad rolls? They should at least make it so you get the same number of stats each level.
You can beat most if not all of the games in the series without gaining any stats at all. Its more about your strategy than anything.

Normally in Fire Emblem the idea is that it makes runs less predictable and that if a unit turns out too poorly, you can find a replacement later.
It doesn't really work out well in Three Houses though because your army core is front-loaded. They dropped the ball somewhere here.