NEW DOOM MOVIE

wow that's everything i wanted from a Doom movie...a strong indipendent marine girl of 60Kg.

I find this one GENUINELY fucking hilarious, and really, really want to know more about the people and the thought processess that had resulted in this thing.

It's amazing. It really requires a SPECIAL EFFORT to fuck up this bad. Like: a complete fucking average moron would do better than this movie. It's not like the first Doom movie, which - you can make sense of what happened there.

But this is just absolutely amazing, on every single level.

That movie somehow had fucking Clint Mansell for a co-composer. It wasn't quite as cheap as it looked.

You can see not even the suits behind the movie believe in it. The camera, acting, everything is B-tier.

holy shit looks like the second starship troopers movie

It wasn't that bad nigga.

They could at least get a hot grill for their protag instead of a ugly old hag.

>see the trailer
its gonna be 2005 all over again

Attached: Bottom text meme.jpg (624x658, 90K)

Doom 2005 was a fun, adequately entertaining movie though. The cast was great the set design and effects were great, and it was paced well enough. By itself, it's an ok movie.

It's pretty fucking obvious that the clear and explicit intention behind the movie is to fuck up. I refuse to know these people aren't aware that they are doing literally EVERYTHING wrong. This has to be by design. I am not sure why or how exactly, but it has to be the the explanation.

It's designed for the sole purpose of allowing them to continue holding the rights for DOOM movies. If they don't do anything with the copyright they risk losing it, and rather than letting someone else take hold, they shovel out this trash so no one else can make a movie.

not defending this piece of shit but you do know that doom has zombies too?

They aren't zombies, they are possesed

All you need to do to make a good Doom movie is remake Hardcore Henry with demons and a much angrier protagonist.

Can't id Software sue?

Except Karl Urban was a great Doomguy, Rock was a great antagonist, all that movie needed was actual fucking demons and at least one BFG death.

This just looks cheap and miserable.

id software has nothing to do with doom other than developing games. bethesda owns them and doom now. and bethesda doesn't care as long as they get paid. not that it matters since the movie rights were sold off long before bethesda came in. this new movie is basically universal farting out a cheap thing so they can keep the rights.

see: roger corman's fantastic four

It's all so tiresome...

I will always be pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Hardcore Henry.

Clint Mansell was probably cheaper to get in 2005 than later.

>Rock was a great antagonist
>tfw never finished the movie and now wondering what this spoiler means

take this shit to the playstation board

>60kg
IMAGINE

>that digital zoom at 0:20
fuckin amateur hour

Attached: 1485491237924.png (479x261, 245K)

>zombieman is not zombie
OK mate

Should've called it DOOM Maternal

Attached: MSB_S1_E10_046.png (720x480, 495K)

oh yeah but movies are art

Would you call those trashy books you can buy at the airport (or a freeway service station) art?

>reminder

Attached: f06.jpg (638x917, 80K)

Bros why is the like bar so short?

She looks like she's not even 5'11''

Top cutie. She's just doing her best to shill the shitty movie she's in. I don't hold it against her.

She looks silly holding that gun at 0:26

Nothing is sacred anymore

Attached: uh oh.jpg (2550x3144, 1.21M)

That set is the cheapest fucking thing I've seen in a feature-length film.
Anyway it's her job to shill her shit, that doesn't matter.

Wait, thats the set?

It's got the UAC logo going on and she's in costume, I'd assume so.

>Doom: Annihilation
just like MK Annihilation was a shitty flop and a terrible movie... it's like pottery

must be some tax scheming/money laundering shit again

More likely they're making a movie just so they keep the rights to it hostage.

>make garbage for a quick cash in due to a recognizable name
>people aren't going to like it in the slightest
>cast a woman to divert attention away from shoddy work and call the critics misogynist russian nazi bots

hollywood works on several levels above anyone, make no mistake

Attached: 1543125419790.png (420x464, 159K)

>2 female leads
Is their intention to not make any money? Unless they're half naked for the entire movie this has literally no audience at all. I'm not watching that trailer to find out but I'm assuming that's not the case

Attached: 1507588425382.gif (320x180, 3.28M)

At first glance it looks like she is at a cheap amusement park or something. She is a cutie though

it's not meant to make money. Read the thread

Of course. She's in costume, there's UAC logos and the computer screens have greenscreens on them.

>scrawny jewish woman protagonist

Attached: 1551522502844.png (339x273, 127K)

>reading past the OP
I'm not autistic so no thanks

It actually is.

Maybe it was a comfy Doom mini golf place?

they're playing the long game and wish to turn girls into nerdy consumers in next 20 years

AAAAAANND NOOOOOOW IIIITS
SPRIIIINGTIIIIME FOR HITLER AND GERMANYYYYYY

Hot, moar

That won't work if the males aren't into it. Women are only interested in attention

no, i mean make a new generation of young girls (children) grow with female action badasses into nerdy customers

>Yea Forums will now pretend the old doom movie was good just to shit on this one
You don't need to make up bullshit shit on this one you know.

fp sequence was goat - the rest is shitty cock tease

You missed some fun shit user. Finish the movie.

it's shit, but it looks like a 10/10 compared to this abortion

>doom is about
>demons of all kind, class, shape and size, hell, technology, different dimensions, saving humanity, mixing flesh & tech & magic, violence
>movie features
>90% zombies and one (1) imp
JUST
PUT
DEMONS
FUCK

Who wrote this shit though?

>I only have... one round

Doomgal is canon

Attached: 1655102.jpg (936x622, 90K)

Did japs made porn already?

This is a movie created to hold onto the IP rights. They need to make a Doom movie every so many years to hold onto the license, and that's all this is, a cheap method of holding on.

the thumbnail looks like the rock on a kids slide.

Fuck off nigger that movie was great.

Check sadpanda

youtube.com/watch?v=ziw7nOvnwZ8

Dude, too soon.

wait a motherfucking minute
what happened?

i was occupied with tf2 economy going in the crapper

Attached: gilette.jpg (850x495, 92K)

It's gone user, Sadpanda is dead

it's almost exclusively the only thing i jack it too, the fuck happened?

forums.e-hentai.org/index.php?s=83b6a335aae6e8870c38f44124d6342f&showtopic=229503

CUTE PETITE GIRLS CAN BE BADASS SPACE MARINES TOO YOU FUCKING SEXIST PIECES OF SHIT, FEMINISM IS HERE TO STAY, WE'RE GOING TO SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROATS UNTIL YOU GET TIRED OF IT AND MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE, AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT OVER AS WELL BECAUSE WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WANT IT ALL WE WA

Attached: 465482418274582348654.jpg (196x167, 11K)

Attached: 1541850504218.png (442x509, 172K)

You should see the thread on /h/, it's like 20k posts long

retard weebs btfo

>non-ex site still available
that's a bit better, but fuck me sideways
guess it's goona be boorus from now on, but that's a huge fucking blow to the whole scene

WHAT THE FUCK

Attached: 1563854365398.jpg (434x542, 28K)

yes. they most likely made just so they can keep the name.

>feature-length
why can't we call all movie "movie"?

Attached: 426.png (1254x1138, 153K)

what the fug

Attached: imagegif_0.gif (205x155, 736K)

I want this. same as I want the new 007. It would be an entertaining trainwreck like the ghost buster movie.

Attached: lynch_2cjz[1].jpg (830x415, 41K)

Will she be sucking dick daily to get where she needs to go or get info from other spies?

It's a cynical move by Universal to hold onto the movie rights after a most definite secret meeting with ZeniMax Media and id on buying out the movie rights backfired, causing them to hastily throw together a cheap and horrible flick in order to hold onto the license in hopes of future negotiations. Furthermore, it'll surely under preform so they can use it as a write off and still profit from it. That's Hollywood accounting for you.

>the name's Bond. bail Bond

I don't have a problem with them casting wammen as these kind of characters, but why won't they cast someone who actually has the physicality to fit the role.
If you want a female doomslayer she should at least look strong for a woman, not some tiny mouse girl.

>see: roger corman's fantastic four
You actually should, its the best fantastic four movie.

This. Guys don’t get too riled up about this, it’s just politics. Besides it looks like the actors are having fun with this so just let them.

Nigger what the fuck? Don’t tell me you missed the FPS scene? But considering what you just said, it seems like you did. You dun goofed user, you missed out on the only watchable scene in the entire movie. Now go and watch the fucking movie again and then come back.

and her titles are:

The Man with the Golden Rims
Water-Fall
From Compton with Drugs
Golddigger
You Only Loot Twice
The Spy Who Robbed Me
Octomama
Dem Gibs Iz Not Enuf

her catchphrases are:

Chicken wing, fried not grilled
kool aid, shaken not stirred
malt liquor. bagged not open view
watermelon, diced not sliced
welfare, cash not food stamps

her equipments are

Lipstick made out of hotsauce.
Nanofibre hair weave.
Crack pipe multispectrum analyser.
International food stamps.

Attached: pb2.jpg (1500x1000, 104K)

but Crash isn't big

>weapon of choice

Attached: this-is-m-glock-40-this-is-my-problem-solver-19316635.png (500x599, 162K)

They own the movie license, ID software have nothing to do with this.

This looks like complete garbage, but you must admit Doom is a story that's very hard to adapt to a movie. Like all you do is kill demons. How to make this into a good story? Whatever the case, this isn't it.

>It's amazing. It really requires a SPECIAL EFFORT to fuck up this bad.
That might be what actually happened there.
It's direct to video meaning they probably count to make most revenue from streaming services. Streaming doesn't give a shit if you watch or hatewatch and neither do streaming users because they paid for the whole library upfront.
It's literally the same shit that happened to internet journalism. Clicks count, your liking of the material doesn't.
Expect these intentionally awful movies trying to ride a controversy becoming way more common in the next decade.

The Raid did it just fine, something like 80% of its runtime were fights.

JUST MAKE HARDCORE HENRY IN SPACE WITH MONSTERS IT''S THAT SIMPLE

>no License to Steal
eh 6/10

The new quakecon footage is in 3 hours right? or am I an entire day off

It honestly should have been given a side wide anouncment, it deserved it more than sentai filmsworks charity scam

>you must admit Doom is a story that's very hard to adapt to a movie
>How to make this into a good story?
Doomguy is the monster in a slasher movie, and everybody knows who he is.
Whenever he is present, the movie switches to his first person perspective.
Scenes that follow surviving humans trying to find a way to safety and run away from demons in their compromised Mars base are normal camerawork.

>straight to dvd trash
who cares

Something odd about it: I watched it at least three times but couldn't find the "The Asylum" logo anywhere.

>That emotionless die die die
>Those double handguns
>Doomgal
This is going to be horrible. I can't wait.

Attached: 1564093496440.png (603x931, 348K)

Nicely executed fight scenes, a lot of them. All you need.

Why is it so pink?

Both of these explanations actually do make quite a lot of sense, though I don't know if the rights to doom IP in this case are really timed like this. I've heard a lot of claims about wanton IP abuse being explained by the IP right expriation (same way claimed about Prey, for an insance) and they so far never been based on solid ground.

Still, it is fascinating. Imagine you being the one doing the directing and writing. Imagine knowingly burning everyone's money and time to make something consciously bad that will be associated with your name for fucking ever. It must be a little fucking hell in and off itself.

No but Mexicans did

Because

Attached: Pinky.gif (250x160, 12K)

Just do predator hunting demons and the doom arsenal

POST IT

>Anons don't know she's not playing Bond

>Wanting to smell like Sulfur and Brimstone

>did made
I despise ESLs

god, i don't care if the lead is a women but this girl is flat out hideous

>and everybody knows who he is
Or don't, and present Doomguy in such a way that makes it seem like he's from a separate omnicidal faction that's neither with the humans nor demons, and don't show him fully so the viewers can't really tell what the creature in the first-person sections actually is. Only in the finale it's revealed that it's Doomguy and those energy blasts and fiery explosions that kept following him around were from guns and not space demon powers.

>it actually looks worse than the 2005 Doom movie

Attached: 1562785841511.png (700x700, 805K)

Doom 2005 is not that bad, sure it suffers from a shitty plot and effects but it's still fun garbage to watch

oh yeah i like the movie too
this one just looks so much cheaper and i know it's
>direct to video
but that's not an excuse desu

>but you must admit Doom is a story that's very hard to adapt to a movie.
No, not really.
You know all those thai action movies with premise something like "A guy wants his baby elefant back"?
Do that. Make the premise intentionally stupid and basic. One of dooms expansion was about Doom guy avenging his favorite bunny for fuck sake.
Get a decent asian combat choreographer and have some fun with it. Classic effects, relatively small budget and cheap metal soundtrack can only play to your advantage.

All you have to do is an intentionally simple premise, a lot of creative kills, monster costumes and ability not to take yourself too seriously.

The irony is that a good doom movie does not really need good budget to begin with. It's not a material for an AAA summer blockbuster movie to begin with. It's fucking made for low-budget flick.

It's just that they are really doing literally everything wrong with what they have. It's amazing.

kek
i thought it was another movie
that trailer from a few months ago was so forgettable and bad that i thought it was left in the past

Attached: 1498442521408.jpg (600x581, 36K)

literally who even are you

That is not how copyright works.

Actually, some deal may contain a clause where a IP property ownership may be revoked if it isn't used in some time. I don't think most companies do it today, but it used to be fairly common and probably is still employed in some cases.

I rembember NGE's right have expired like this. I think Weta was the owner, but they never managed to make it work, and they lost the IP due to that.

>it's not a game anymore
It's all so tiresome

That movie looks like absolute shit. I'm not even worried about the main lead being female. I am more concerned by the fact that it looks like a fucking early-2000's film by a huge margin. Holy shit.

Denigration and expropriation.