>I should have spent more time playing video games and browsing Yea Forums
I should have spent more time playing video games and browsing Yea Forums
Other urls found in this thread:
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imgur.com
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
mayoclinic.org
health.harvard.edu
youtu.be
soundcloud.com
soundcloud.com
twitter.com
Story?
He's dead Jim.
whomst
>some dude use to play gog with his clan boddies
>the dude dies
>dude is playing gog with his clan buds
>the clan is doing a troll raid on rival team
>dude doesn't respond or talk
>the clan buds dox dude get to his place find him dead like that
what you gonna do?
>dude has funeral no one shows up but his clan buds and his moms and dads
I have legitimize great stories to share with my brother about games we played when we were 12-24 years old. We still reminisce and yearn for some of the old games we played.
I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.
did he actually die?
That's my life goal
Still had people at his funeral.
>has the money to buy booze
>still uses earbuds
pleb
no
what did he die of?
fuck forgot picture of funeral apprently the dude was a normie he started to play games cos of some accident that fucked him up so he couldn't play sports
bad videogames
Imagine dying suddenly and painlessly while chilling doing something you enjoy. What a nice way to go.
he didn't respond to one of those respond or else threads
>literally me
heart attack due to depression
according to the game logs he would play for 4 or 5 days straight with out stopping he had a habbit of passout in front of his computer
kek
I genuinely dont know which one to believe
guy kinda looks like thunderf00t
Death is sad and all, but that's fucking beautiful if true
Clan mates went to his funeral!
any source?
So sad.
>Imagine dying suddenly and painlessly while chilling doing something you enjoy.
I'd muster every bit of will I have to delete my collection.
>dying of depression
fuck off. It was likely a blood clot or a heart attack from all those energy drinks.
Gentle reminder to stand up and walk around for a few minutes every once in a while.
>decide to turn my life around
>drop vidya
>quit Yea Forums
>get a job
>stop living with parents
>meet coworkers and normie friends
>learn to bring girls home weekly
>find gf
>travel
>get promotion
>get married
>realize this life sucks and go back to browsing Yea Forums and playing vidya.
>tfw still married and with a job
why did I ever leave? this is my hole.
Alcohol poisoning maybe? His room is littered in alcohol
This but unironically
Thrombosis more than likely
Those srentbenergy drinks. Its tallboys if steel reserve. And those empty liters of wine bottles...ooof
how long did this take you user and how old are you now
You type like you're over 40 years old or a woman.
from 27 to 33
you wouldn't say that to my face you little brat!
he doesn't look dead.
This is why I get up and walk around the house once an hour while playing vidya.
drank the girl gamer bath water too fast.
>believing everything you read on the internet
>on Yea Forums
what the fuck is gog ?
Well you don't belong anymore. Begone.
he just did.
by the way, connections or not, you die alone, even if you got people around you sending you off.
if you think people being around someone's funeral is beautiful then that must be because the people feel good about it.
it's literally virtue signalling, nothing else, even if it's in their subconsciousness.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that is good
does anybody actually sit like that fat guy on the couch? that would fucking kill my back
I do
it hurts when I breathe and I can't stand straight
I get what the image is trying to convey and I agree up to a certain point. Because if people are truly depressed they will make all the wrong choices anyway. Its true that making the wrong choices will get you depressed, but you don't just stop being depressed if you make the right choices.
I do, sometimes I suffocate and wake up on the floor.
My fat friend does.
YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!
How are you 6 ages at once?
>dude has funeral no one shows up but his clan buds and his moms and dads
So he had good friends and family, why do you try to make this as bad?
The guy's not dead. Poke him with a stick and swipe him with the speed stick, he's good to go.
>browsing Yea Forums in my second monitor
>
>heart attack
>painless
lmfaaaaaao
>Reverse image search
>Nothing but Yea Forums threads
Horse shit, the dudes just taking an ugly looking nap
hi quentin
>but you don't just stop being depressed if you make the right choices.
Exactly, you need a cute girlfriend to save you from the darkest depths of existentialism!
kek
That looks kinda fun. Obviously as a very rare occassion but seems comfy to pass out enjoying gaming and wake up at around 3am and crawl into bed and wrap yourself up in the duvet and drift off to sleep
I actually go to sleep at 6-7AM
He's dead
The eternal sleep. Based
Steel reserves kek
Finally some restful sleep
When I die, I'm going to arrange to have a giant picture of me paraded through some Indian village, pay like $1000 for a massive feast that people will hear about for miles around, and celebrated as a saint to some random street-shitters for a day.
Why would you post your friends body on the internet?
Medfag here, he, indeed, doesn't look very dead with that yellow light.
Position of arms and feet could suggest it but again -for me- it isn't significative. We can't assume the cause as it can be anything.
You might be gay desu.
Unironically true, I was the happiest and angriest while I was with my gf of 5 years, but I worked on and off, now of course I’m crazy and she left me for the guy I knew she would, but there was literally nothing I could do to stop their interactions. So here I am today fantasizing about all those times I could’ve dragged her out of the car and bashed her into the hood, and I’m just tryna get a pistol to blow my brains out. Nothing to live for.
>legs and arms still red and face not pale
yeah nah he's sleeping
Source?
>me glancing at my own stack of 211 cans and empty plastic vodka bottle
can't find the simpsons gif I want. You know the one.
Looks pretty based desu
Dude is just passed out drunk, he just drank 3 steelies. at least he uses deodorant unlike most of Yea Forums
he isnt dead. i had a roommate that was a degenerate Yea Forums gamer and had a room like this and he would fall asleep in his chair like every night
>literally me minus the deodorant
that's only like $15 worth of booze and that man is blacked out in his chair. my GF used to find me like this all the time. she left me. now i just sleep for 9 hours in that position. maybe if i had the speedstick she wouldn't have left
The fuck is gog you fucking illiterate absolute retard
If he's dead then why is his skin so "healthy"?
Shouldn't he look pale?
I think he's just sleeping
Fucking kek
Sorry about your armpits user
>dude has funeral no one shows up
>but his clan buds and his moms and dads
Those are people.
God i wish that were me
I disagree. My grandfather died a peaceful death after a bout of cancer brought on about by smoking. He refused any pain medication and slowly lost his appetite. He died with all of his grown successful children by his side with the only woman he's ever married by his side in a massive plush recliner as he was a big dude.
It's commemoration and a send off. Pending on the person and outlook a celebration even if he were to lead a good life or found his way to that nebulous abstraction of what it means to be home.
It can be virtue signalling but why take such an appalling afront to what is an ancient ceremony transcendent of what you may be less to believe?
Where did you travel? What job?
t. 27 and almost 100% normie, but I'm putting off a career because living with my parents and wasting every day on Yea Forums is cozy. (I do work part time as a landscaper.)
>go run on a treadmill and lifting some stuff a few times a week for six months
>still emo
Not falling for any of this shit again.
Now that's a fucking movie!
>what you may be less to believe
>>the dude dies
of what?
is this the eventual fate of all NEET gamers?
FUCK *WHAT YOU MAY BE LED TO BELIEVE
I'm pretty sure that's Ben Saint and he is indeed not dead.
Are we the same person?
hope
Fuck dude don't let that cunt of a bitch affect you that deep. She sounds like trash and there's plenty of fish in the sea, which is a problem too. Fuck it take your time and enjoy some Vidya and a lifestyle unrestrained by rules and judgement. Undoubtedly you're looking for someone via a platform if so just do it with a passive eye. And if not you're all the wiser. Either way everything comes full circle. Persevere and find an outlet that will only serve to benefit you.
i use earbuds on very hot days cuz fatfuck sweat
If we are, I’m really sorry bro. I’m a shitty guy, so I don’t blame her, but I really wish I could’ve gone apeshit on her and him. For the weeks leading up all I could think about was ventilating him with the makarov. I saw it coming a mile away, and while I went psychotic, and checked myself into the hospital (terrible mistake) she lied the entire time. So I can’t even feel guilt for the way I treated her now.
If you’re planning on ending it too, hope you can Yea Forumsro.
nice shop
here's the original though
Someone tell me why earbuds are looked down on?? They are infinitely useful, discrete, and overall preferable to any headwrap or traditional headphone?
Nah it’s cool Yea Forumsro, I get psychotic mania and rage, I have “bipolar” so I was the one who acted like a woman to her and was very abusive, even physically at times. Not like a druggy attcking her, but just losing it. So I can’t blame her, but I just feel rage and have always felt hopeless. I can’t be romantic with women, even if I am a good looking enough guy, just have a lot of mental issues, so can’t hold down work for too long or I’ll go crazy. Feel like if I go on in the world I’m gonna end up snapping and hurting or killing someone, which I’d rather not do. She was an amazing girl, and probably most guys fantasy for how she behaved, but I pushed her away.
This hole isn't big enough for a square like you.
Just sound quality and perceived comfort, now if we’re talking mixing music you’ll need headphone or monitors. Earbuds also don’t immerse you the same.
Personally I hate the type that you shove in your ear, but those have the best sound of earbud style.
Mama Para ~Chijo Zukan~ [English]
>people actually believed this
good post
how does weed cause depression?
By being a depressant, also the state change, if you’re a very frequent user you’ll be acclimated to that state as opposed to being sober and your sober state will feel drained and tired. Also if you’re smoking a lot you’re probably self medication. If you’re smoking alone all the time you’re not running from something. If your only hobby is smoking and playing video games you’re probably depressed. Everyone is “depressed” in this bugman society
holy shit you sound like such a faggot, people who need a relationship to thrive in life typically don't last very long. What happens if that relationship ends?
>inb4 our relationship is the best shit ever
Iono user I've grown to appreciate downtime + smeed + a good time sink
reminder anons it's not healthy to be completely sedentary during the day. i recommend getting an exercise bike and putting it infront of your desk and spending at least 20-25 minutes pedalling while you play
Cool you dumb nigger, I don’t plan to last long, do you not read past the first line for your greentext? I didn’t claim to be more than a faggot either.
Ehh as long as you function proper, it never agreed with me. As long as you can be healthy and take it healthily, there won’t be a problem. So long as you make it one, there will.
Thanks!
>The Death of a Boomer
>he has normal depression
fucking nerotypicals i swear
>mouth open
Fuck that means he was screaming when he died right? Which would imply it was a painful death. Pretty shitty.
No, not even remotely? Have you heard of gravity?
>hurrr gravity
Yeah thats why your mouth just hangs open constantly right?
I knew it was bait, there was no way anyone could be that stupid
Drinking and playing vidya/watching shows alone with no one around is the only thing I do enjoy.
FUCK NORMIES!!
>y..youre the dumb one
Whatever you say brainlet. Pick your jaw up off the ground and keep blaiming it on gravity
The layers of kino in this image:
> Besides the beer cans, bottom of the camera are several empty hard liquor bottles
>The PC still running, screen reflected in the can.
>The day light cracking in through the curtains in the back.
>The Sheetless Matress on the floor in the back.
>Single bottle of deodorant to mask his smell
>The overall state of the room.
>source is from 2013
>imgur.com
Its not a dead body you faggots, it's a picture of a drunk guy passed out.
>Mattress on the ground
>Boxes of wine
>Diet pepsi
Can one man get any more based?
Based detective user
I knew niggers ITT were spreading fake news
God I wish that were me
That's how drunk people die by passing out and vomiting upward and choking in their sleep to death.
>single bed
based
>being such a lightweight pussy that you fall asleep on your chair
even in my darkest hour when i was close to fucking clinical death i still managed to crawl to the bed, and this nigga just had wine and a few beers by the looks of it
same I can drink a bottle of gin in one night and I always passed out in my bed
Lmao. The only thing you have control over in this world is yourself. Go ahead and waste away but don't you dare bitch about it
He could be on pills too, or he could've downed a handle off camera, you're assuming a lot from a random still image
Yeah.. there are 3 empty wine (or hard liquor bottles), 2 empty wine boxes, the 3 empty tall boys, and what looks like a liquor bottle to the right of the tall boys (cant really tell because the picture cuts off). I dont care how much of a "le hard core alcoholic" you are, after all that youd be blitzed out of your mind.
>just wine and a few beers
Except isnt wine stronger than most beers?
>no one showed up but his friends and family.
Wow, what a shame.
Steel reserve is as strong as most wines
Idk my dude. No matter how much I had to drink, I'm never so fucked up as to not be able to move to the bed.
>says the guy who browses Yea Forums
Ironic.
>monster zero ultra
based
You got left and burned. That's not a you problem. You putting up with a relationship that made you want to blow out your brains and sometimes beat your girlfriend IS a you problem. It's both of your faults for staying with someone who more often than not makes you so angry. You're gut-punch, weak-willed emotional response of wanting to do harm to yourself or others is also a you problem.
Learn to take things in stride, user; because we all know first-hand, one way or another, that this life can fucking blow hard. Harder than Squidward on his clarinet. A real man, a real rock-solid person who knows their worth would not be so miserably ripped apart over it.
Yes user. You do deserve love.
Yes user. You were wronged.
No user. You're not handling this well at all.
But it's ok user. You can stomach life's hardships if you'd just care to care for yourself.
Much love, hurt and angry user.
At least you still have your humor user. Until that dies too.
Have you always suffered with rage, doomguy?
Why couldn't you suppress your anger when looking at her lovely face?
Ah...
Now it's art
Always thought this was a dumb argument. What the fuck else would I be doing? How could I possibly know that?
I only know myself as I am now, the result of everything that's happened to me and the way I've responded to it.
Yes, horrible things have happened to me but I've also had plenty of opportunities to move forward and haven't taken all of them.
My first serious relationship has come and gone, maybe it too could been salvaged, why would I dwell on that?
Why fantasise about what could have been? I'm not old, I'm only in my fucking early 20s. I don't live in a shitty third world country and I'm not currently faced with a danger of becoming homeless or something.
I'm several years late to improving my life but now that I'm going back to education and working quite hard I feel happy enough. I don't understand the idea of "haha, bet you wish you hadn't wasted time on VIDEO GAMES" because I don't know what I'd otherwise do.
Whatever cookie-cutter correct way people are supposed to spend their time I guess, paying hundreds of dollars to go and live like you do at home only on a different continent so you can spend an hour to pet a heavily sedated elephant and say it was life changing?
People enjoy different stuff and have different lives. There is no correct way to live, but there are certainly incorrect ways.
To most people in this thread the point of no return is decades away.
Unless you live in a shitty third-world shithole you can more or less start your life from scratch at age 30 and come out alright.
Stop worrying about this faggotry. Unless you simply refuse to change, you will make it in the end.
too soon
>tl;dr blogpost about gamerweed
Smart user. I've developed a weird relationship with the stuff. I essentially use it as a crutch and am usually very unhappy when not high. It's kind of become like cigarettes to me: the anticipation is the real satisfaction, while actually smoking leaves me disappointed. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, smoke everyday for months/years. It will only anchor you down.
You probably don't have a lot of free time? I have nothing but free time, and all this time wasted kills me when I'm sober. I smoke weed to feel less like I'm wasting my life, but while still permitting myself to waste my life.
I want to get a job, my life on track, and use this plant responsibly if at all. I get anxious about a lot of things sometimes. Not necessarily just other people but things about the world; existentially. A little bud goes a long way in just keep my mind cool and at a steady pace.
Thanks user, but it’s something I’ve wanted since I was a child, not just cause of her. My actions and the loss further cement it, I’m just non functional. I just come here to vent and shit up threads cause it’s one of the biggest taboos irl. Peace to you though Yea Forumsrother
Yes, I’m a lot calmer now, though I will explode, I don’t want to recount everything I’ve ever done. But I get hysterical and psychotic, extremely dangerous, over the smallest thing. Essentially couldn’t keep it together for her sake cause my insecurity and self-image, always in fear, always anxious. I always am aware, and then I lose it and I have no control and it can go on for hours. One time we went camping with her friends, and her friend is a cunt, talking a bunch of shit to me, and I started taking it out on her on the way back home, I just kept getting angrier and angrier. I punched her in the temple while she drove, I spit in her face. I’ve pulled her hair while she drive before. I’m very dangerous and borderline psychotic when I fly into a rage. And it could occur over relatively nothing, a perceived sleight. I can be fine for months, then everyday for a month just explode. I have no interest in afflicting people, and I am calm outside of familial and romantic relationship. But the nature of it binds me to a life of uncertainty and anxiety. As I said I’m very aware and in my head, until it happens it goes blank, it’s not a turn of phrase when I say I see only red, that’s all there is in my head and I build myself up more and more till I explode. The sad thing is in an abusive relationship, the other will always blame themselves. Now I’d like to say this was killing me, but her suffering had to be far worse. I wouldn’t any sympathy, not for me, as I’ve made my bed and my mistakes. Not to idealize, but she was a great girl as well, compassionate, caring, indulging, sweet, and thoughtful. For every person in her life.
QUICK user POST A PICTURE OF BATTLESTATION OR ELSE YOUR GONNA HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SHAMEFUL FETISH!
I steal panties, jerk off in them and then put them back. I think my gf knows
I'm getting married in September. Have a feeling I won't have as much time for vidya anymore. Maybe that's a good thing.
This is why you don't drink, cocaine never kills you.
To continue cause I want to vent about shit.
She was a great girl that carried on with all the weight I put on her shoulders. I can’t do that to another person, and it seems beyond any of my means to control, I’m not on drugs, so it’s not like that makes me this way. I’ve been on psychs since I was a kid, with no help. It’s essentially an exercise in futility to try and live life fulfilled or without harming anyone. I wouldn’t say I’m a psycho, as I love animals, and I feel I have a lot of empathy for everyone. But I have hatred as well, and a destructive rage that can manifest on a whim. I’d say I’m probably a bit of a narcissist from being socially and emotionally maladaptive, a negative one, I don’t think of myself in grandiose terms typically unless I’m “manic”
Just despite her character, despite how beautiful she was, despite her bending over backwards for me at every turn for 5 years, despite her obsession with me (probably reinforced by the abuse) I could not stop hurting this girl, maybe there was a subconscious aspect, as I dislike most things, and things would bother me till I exploded. No matter, it was all irrational.
Anyways, don’t beat women or verbally abuse them, unless you’re a sociopath. I did everything to her that was done to me, and it only destroyed me more. Sorry to rant, but I’ve been wanting to say this shit for like 6 years. There has been so many times I walked to the park after something, and just wrote everything I ever did to her out. I planned to kill myself dozens of times, I had the means, I never held it over her head, I was just too selfish to go through with it. I wanted her to leave me, I wanted her to be okay, but at the same time I wanted to possess her to validate me, cause that’s all I had. It was toxic from the start, especially for her. Not like she was hitting and berating me.
I'm the user in both your replies.
You are clearly a smart and self-aware guy, but you say all that goes away when you rage?
I'm guessing you've been through the obvious hurdles of medication and therapy. Has anything helped?
And yes, many people will take abuse in stride. Whether they need it or just put up with it for love's sake. Abusive relationships can sometimes be profoundly human, I know first fand. I've never been subject or subjected anyone to physical abuse but most of my relationships revolved around rigorous pyschological and emotionalabuse. I've been the victim and the culprit and either way you end up hating yourself. Vicious cycles.
The fact you show remorse and self awareness instead of doubling down and justifying your unjustified anger makes you an incredibly decent person user.
And that's not something that can be said about most people.
Yeah I used to smoke everyday for 3 years straight almost all day, though it did help with some things. It fucked my sober state up. It’s a huge stress reliever, so it takes away positive stress to improve your situation and can make you complacent with where you are. Stagnates you. The same with depression. It alters your thinking, same with depression. Though it might help to make you approach things with an open mind, or calm you down, making it a fixation is a huge detriment. I also strongly believe it is a gateway drug, given the person and environment. Everyone is different though, I wish it wasn’t so promoted in media and given such a “chill” reputation. I also smoke cigs, and I fucking hate it and love it, so that’s no help. Chainsmoked four when I woke up this morning. Then 30 minutes later need to smoke some more.
g*mers aren't people
Thanks brother, but I teeter between my thoughts, sometimes I just want to kill the motherfucker who replaced me, even though I actually liked the dude, (though I could see his intentions from the get go), and wish I would’ve hurt her more, thankfully I’ve moved to the other side of the country. Other times I wish her well and I’m just glad she got away from me, no matter how invested I might’ve been, or how wronged I feel, she, nor most people deserve what I’ve given. No matter how much I might want a lay, I can’t bring myself to talk to women or expect a relationship or want one, cause I know there is nothing to stop the flip from switching. Jealous rage, insecure rage, whatever it is, I’m afraid with another woman I would end up committing a crime of passion.
The states would vastly differ, I would snap and I’d see the fear in her eyes, the tears, hear her pleading for me to calm down that she loves me, and I’d choke her and smile, or I’d be semi cognizant and just berate her and do my best to restrain the impulse of inflicting physical pain.
My life hasn’t been some absolutely horrid upbringing, but it’s left me that way. Borderline psychopathic I guess. Maybe I’m too analytical of myself, but I don’t feel disingenuous as a person, and I’m typically kind and caring and somewhat an asshole, but then that happens. The perception would be I am a monster, which I agree with, I don’t know how other physical abusers are. I know I had many similar characteristics, I would break down and cry afterwards at first and she would come to comfort me. I still find it grossly funny that that’s how it was. It still makes me mad at her sometimes, but it also makes me pity her , feel disgusted with myself, guilt. I guess there’s some duality that can’t be resolved. Mostly I just feel an overwhelming sadness, because of my actions and hers, but just to think that is humanity. That is what love is for some people. Was for us.
Stay aware of yourself the way you are, beautiful user. That's about the only thing you can do is try to hold on to the nicest part of yourself until it bleeds into the rest of you. One day you will be able to breathe easy.
If you don't get to vent then make a journal. Don't bother with any of the macho crap about how gay journals are. Thinkers use journals, and I can tell your thoughts race. They probably run backwards and trip over themselves trying to get to the finish, but maybe I'm projecting my own mindset.
Either way it be a benefit. No shame in talking to yourself if you do it in silent scribbles, ya know. It can help you navigate the clusterfuck of a psyche you have.
Now when I say these things I don't mean to say that you're fucked. I think there's hope yet, but I'm also relating and putting myself in a similar boat, and I need hope for myself too.
Just remember your mistakes user. Just enough to where they permit you never make them again, but not enough to where they drag you down.
I've been thru a really fucked relationship where I was the victim all the way through. Then in the very next relationship I wasn't myself. I was the bitch that made me hate myself, and so i made this innocent girl feel like I did. This relationship went on for a couple years, constant misery and hair-pulling frustration. But our bond was strong, and genuine. Abuse can do that, whether causation or correlation.
But after that one ended I took some me time. The next relationship after that one went smooth. I acknowledged the pain I received and I acknowledged the hurt I made others feel. I wanted no more of any of it, so I did everything in my power to make this next one at the very least, not a storm of hateful emotions. And it worked. I never hated her. Not for a second, even when I was wronged for complicated reasons. I learned to let it all go, I guess. But that might not be an option open for you, doomguy.
lol not knowing what GOG is and you call your self a gamer?
We're all double headed coins but you speak as if you're an extreme case.
I hate this stigma of bipolar people being pyscho or disingenuous. I'm not sure bipolar is even accurate in a lot of these 'cases'. To me it sounds like you're simply too passionate for your own good. Too passionate and too self-hating.
Hmm. Maybe you just can't live with yourself, user. For whatever reasons, you would know before I would. You need to learn how to live yourself again, maybe.
At the end of the day I don't want you stressing yourself too much about it. Kicking yourself while your down isn't just pointless, it's someone else's job.
You can't even fight against yourself when you're the one doing the kicking, you know?
If you need a friend or even something less than, just someone to vent to, then let me know and I'll post some kind of contact information. No one should suffer alone I suppose
Real question is how can someone be that fucking skinny despite drinking and eating sugar only while playing vidya all day?
exercise, diet, and good sleep fixes everything.
i go on alcohol binge sessions once or twice a month and get in the depressed mindset but getting back on the right track fixes that right up.
Thanks brother, I’m glad you’ve found some respite from it all and have found some love here and there. I definitely do have very conflicting thoughts and have tried to journal, but usually when the compulsion comes, my writing is very very unhealthy, psychotic ramblings. So I try to avoid it, if I look back it’s just a reminder how profoundly disturbed I can be. I’ll see how it pans out for now, meandering, but I ultimately plan to leave when I can.
Thank you for the talk user, it’s stuff I’ve wanted to put out there. I want to tell everyone how “evil” I’ve been, I want people to look at me with contempt, but can’t bring myself to do it. I want to confess, but it’s so hard to tell anyone. I’m glad you were able to resolve the things eating you up though. I’d say some of the emotional and verbal torture I’ve inflicted probably cut far deeper than the physical pain I gave her. So you’re not wrong empathizing on that level, if you have conscience it’s definitely hard to come to terms with things said. I don’t even want to put out there some of the horrible things I’ve said, not your run of the mill things, deeply sadistic shit.
Thank you though user. I know it isn’t healthy to ruminate too much, but just need to get it out there and possibly the most benign of places to do so. Chan’s are for more human than an artificial interaction with someone you’re paying I find.
>fixes everything
your fucking teenage mood swing is not a real depression
hangovers and alcohol withdrawals on top of lack of sleep can put you into a pretty shitty mood. you should try it!
Do something about that cigarette addiction, user.
And yeah. It's not necessarily the Devil's lettuce but it isn't Michael's cabbage either. I think a smart and determined person can use it responsibly.
Some of my most optimistic thoughts have come to me while high, and it's generally left me less hateful, resentful, and bitter. But of course it doesn't mean the cause of that is weed, but I think living life while always high and essentially taking a full year off to exist in a responsibility-free stoned haze helped me figure a few things out. While still ultimately going nowhere in life. I just need to take action and stop with the ambition blockers.
that is like a normal night for me if I'm off the next day, get wasted, can't play video games anymore, get more drunk, wake up in bed with clothes on, repeat.
I usually pass out in my office chair like that and I guess my mom wakes me up and tells me to get to bed.
No idea. You should ask Ross Scott.
Thanks bro, but I wouldn’t want to put my self absorbed/self hating ramblings onto anyone, you can only go with the woe is me act for so long. Just mainly want to vent, I don’t think anyone other than myself can dissuade me from a suicidal course. It’s just kinda this thing I felt since I was a child, and I got kinda unlucky with the behavioral problems as a kid, so kinda fucked me over. Yeah I don’t know if it’s bipolar, the wishy washiness of it and my general instability makes me think it’s more borderline-esque. But hell don’t diagnose yourself or put faith in the labels of psychiatric institutions, just general terms to put the human conditions under some umbrella. Just a deeply flawed guy, and I’d have no problem inflicting a final pain of suicide on those close, but have much more of a problem causing pain destroying myself and everyone else slowly. Kinda funny I guess. Selfish, too, but people wouldn’t understand what I might spare them. I feel it’d hurt everyone far more if I lost myself and in a fit of rage killed a lover. Maybe it’s somewhat self fulfilling prophesy but I can’t see any other end to life playing out besides these two things, and I’d rather spare the future and possibly someone else.
>Our data strongly support the claim that exercise is an evidence-based treatment for depression.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
mayoclinic.org
health.harvard.edu
I think I'm suffering from depression and anxiety and I'm not sure what to do about it. I really beat myself up about alot of things. Usually my lack of a girlfriend. I feel like you guys are the best friends I have and I seriously hate you fucks
Good luck mustering the will with major depression
You can eat literally anything you want as long as you don't fucking gorge yourself like a fat pig with no self-control
Back in college I lost 30 lbs in a single semester eating nothing but Double Baconators every night because I couldn't be fucked to buy groceries
The only thing you can do is “try”, well do, and not fall further in the hole, it’ll just be that much harder to climb out of. I’m no one to give advice to, cause nothing works for me, but do you read self help or anything? It might be a big help, but we’d need to know the problems plaguing you besides loneliness and anxiety. You need to find out why these afflict you so much, like why are you so anxious and what’s keeping you from trying? Besides the anxiety. What’s the root? Just fear of failure? Past experience? Perceived ugliness? Bad shape? The media you consume? Etc.
I did, and there was no luck needed.
I've got no sympathy for you if you're just gonna shoot down every helpful suggestion and not even recognize that there ARE things that can help you. Nobody can help you but yourself.
I understand as much as I can without being in your brain. I've come to chan to spew my shit in off topic threads just to get it out of my head and out into the broader world. Maybe once in a while a kind user will remember there's more to life than board culture and would even reply. Yeah I know what you mean by sadistic words. I've personally said I hope her father rapes her that night, a few days after she told me she was being molested by him. Which was a lie in itself but, I still put those words and wishes out there. I've had one ex mock my dead brother who I lost when he was 4. Words absolutely hurt, they can cut someone straight in half.
You're pigeon holing yourself to two fate's. I actually resonate with this a lot. I used to have very similar, serious deep fears that I'll grow up to hurt others. I thought my fates where black and white, kill myself or leave miserably just to take it out on others. I even rationalized it bc the meaning of my name - 'between two valleys'. I felt like someone standing at the edge of two steep valleys, and it's my choice which one I need to cast myself into. Self destruction or outward destruction. I somehow have learned to let this go. That brief moment of respite helped a lot.
You will find your respite too, user. Breath easy, think easy. You can discover peace of mind user. Not just fragmented pieces of mind.
I meant the thing about further being here as an earpiece if you need to let it all out.
But I also definitely understand if you don't want to have communication with another channer.
Just know you have more than two, simple yet extreme options for yourself. Don't self-prophecize or it will become your ultimate fate
Nigger all those energy drinks and coke and whatever the fuck those niggers drink all day are enough to make a normal guy fat with no physical activity at all.
Now imagine an insulin sensitive person. He would get obese doing that
Just because you see them drinking sugary shit doesn't mean they do it all the time.
If you consume fewer calories than you burn, it is physically impossible to gain weight. Hormones cannot reverse the laws of thermodynamics.
There is no purpose in life, not everyone is Neil Armstrong so if you don't spend your spare time doing things that make you happy you are kidding yourself. Most of us spend most of the hours of an average day slaving away with our greatest achievement being a few weeks holidays. There isn't anywhere near enough time in life to worry about what you'll leave behind, at the end of the day very few people will really remember or care about you and if video games make you happy, then you can be remembered as a happier person
Fuck off Ben you filthy communist.
Also make more RFCK
Fucking lmao
I needed this. Thanks
The Pornhub one hits home too close.
>his collection isn't secured by a state of the art combination of AES-twofish-serpent encryption
Save yourself before it's too late.
While this is a dumb ironic shitpost, it's unfortunately very accurate. Just ease up on the porn. Everyday is too much. Yea Forums will defend this but that's because we're a bunch of chronic mastubators.
Every other day, if not less. It'll be less on your mind the more you just don't touch your mediocre penis, user. Just chill
Why would I feel bad about doing something I love? If this actually bothers you then maybe Reddit is more your speed.
Goodnight user. I hope you get some peace, whether you believe you deserve it or not.
Out of all of those things I do 7 and have no depression. Suck my dick
But a calorie != a calorie. Look it up.
Our bodies are not simple calorimeters keeping track of how much we eat and how much we burn. Instead, we have intricate hormonal responses to the types of food we eat. It’s time to accept this and get rid of the outdated calories in-calories, calories-out model, thus allowing for more effective and sustainable long-term weight loss.
oh no you totally ended up on the place where people post their dead girlfriends and try to kill each other by mixing chemicals together because life is going so good.
Yea Retards don't even know you can get the best high by injecting air into a vein
Thanks user, I understand where you’re coming from, and your words aren’t lost on me. Quite comparing someone can understand to an extent, but I’m a bit obstinant, as I see it’s all futile for me, don’t want to go into life story. Neurologically maladaptive because of things. I can’t interact socially or keep in control for too long, I always lapse, so I’d like to not worry anymore or keep fucking things up. Funny you mention that about your name, I read up on peoples names meaning and I believe it has a bearing on fate and personality. Weird belief I guess.
I can attest to this. I stopped watching porn for three months and I was full of vitality, I was working out, I was willing to do what I had to. Then start madturabting again and I feel low as always, but I really like watching chicks go down on each other, till that post-but clarity.
Goodnight brother. Hope your ups are good, and your lows don’t last too long. Peace.
>steel reserve
based
does Yea Forums count as social interaction?
If he was dead he'd be white as snow
Yes, but the social interaction of the depressed or fucked up.
Lived the life to the very end :') beautiful.
what was he playing
Maybe I am stuck between two valleys, but I'd sooner ride out my life in the middle than jumping to any depths.
What does your name mean user?
Still here to chat if you are. Just said gn bc I assumed you fucked off after a while. As much as I want to deter you from anything vaugely resembling suicide, I understand your points. I'd have the same points if I was in your shoes, with all the anger. At 11, in 7th grade my bro died. Thrashed around and ripped out of his mother's hands by an F4 tornado. This fucked me up. My whole life after parents divorced, my mom was pyschologically abusive. Would lie and gaslight me and the ppl around her like it was her 9 to 5. This fucked me up.
A few others loses in the family, become distanced from my dad who had always been my best friend, generally being autistic and isolated, this all has fucked me up in some ways. I'm still a functional thing, but I feel like a thing instead of a real person a lot. That's my biggest issue right now. My point is, from an early age I had my mind set on suicide. My thing was "as soon as I graduate highschool I'm killing myself" I still haven't bc overall i feel more at peace than I did years ago. But then and even now I feel deeply that my life is my own to take, and there's really no other greater liberty than being able to decide how and when you die. But I'm still going to take my time. No sense in rushing the inevitable, right.
Take your time and let good things come your way. Appreciate these good things and do everything you can to not harm them. I don't know you well enough to believe anything but I certainly hope you can manage this. I think you could. And at the end of the road, at the far-stretching, long-away end, you at least owe yourself that liberty if you are compelled to take that decision into your own hands. But don't do it just to press the game over button, don't do it bc you think you need to protect others from yourself. Do it only when you're old and ready.
Sorry to hear about your brother user, I haven’t had a death in the family really, other than the elderly. But my father was abusive, mentally and physically, and an alcoholic, then I had a near death experience and everything changed with my behavior for the worst, parents got divorced, messed me up. Mother went to live with best friend, when my dad deployed overseas I came to live with her and my sis, her friend was abusive to me as well, sometimes physically when my mother wasn’t around. Because of my behavioral problems, right after my parents divorced I flipped out in school, I was forced into a mental hospital, and from then on I was in special education because of my behavior. Until the end of 11th grade. I never adapted to the real world or real life, the educational environment is definitely another world. Left me with no aspirations and we were pretty much taught there’s nothing in life for us besides working at McDonald’s. Left me socially and emotionally fucked, especially when it came to women, as I had hardly interaction growing up with girls my age. I essentially spent years in my room alone, occasionally I had some friends, then I moved between houses, across the country, for burning whatever bridge. My name means “beloved” “string/Swift” a meaningless name, kinda like how I think my life is. Really too afraid of the world and could care less to want for anything. Things don’t make me too happy, and my passion is fruitless. I think I just have neurological impairments in my front brain or something from life. I have no drive or will for anything, desire, or much control.
You do though.
>he has a special snowflake depression that he either thought up or his psychiatrist is telling he has so he can keep collecting pillbux
Really just do it. If you can manage to sit on Yea Forums for fucking hours you can do some goddamn exercise. Comparing sitting on this cesspool for hours to injecting your body with all the fucking awesome shit of exercise and picking 4chinz is one of the stupidest fucking moves you can make.
There, logic. I hope you're logical.
I mean I don’t usually go to Yea Forums for hours, I do other stuff. I’ve spent months exercising and feel the same ultimately. But I’m emaciated as it is now and wasting, hardly eat, so that makes it a bit harder. No appetite and food makes me feel sick.
take control of yourself.
I simply disagree. I think you accept these ill fates before you'd acknowledge anything good about yourself. I understand that. My relationships and friendships have failed because I simply won't believe any tolerates me much less loves me. I recognize it's all about how I feel about myself, which is slowly improving. I was the "wasted potential" kid like a lot here. Just didn't do any of my work. I could have excelled but I'd sleep or in school when not in classes with friends. I ended up having the second worst grades out of all my peers bc I slacked off so much. Barely graduated. Teacher helped me cheat on math final and that's the only way I'm out rn.
Childhood is chains and hooks. It holds us all back. I had to cycle thru living with my moms numerous ex boyfriends, all drug addicts like her. Shit sucked. I spent all my time in isolation. Still do. It started when I'd hide away in my room to get away from drugged up adults and arguing and it just become my main environment. I've been my best and worst friend for a long time. I think think and think and pace around my room till I fall asleep.
Maybe all names are meaningless, but it can have meaning if perceive it, user. You were clearly at least one girls beloved, for many years. Idk about string, maybe you're skinny. But you seem to have a swift enough brain.
Please don't be so hard on yourself man.
And about my brother. It usually doesn't hit me. I think it fucked me up in fundamental ways i may never understood. It's when many of my neurotic behaviors began and I've been in a disasociative state since. I was high the other day and old pictures caught my eye. Ended up bawling trying to remember how his hair felt or what his voice sounded like when he called to his brother. I've been numb and I need to reopen some wounds, lest i forget precious memories
My nog, I’ve spent months exercising, no matter what I do it doesn’t help. I’ve worked in sales, where it’s all pump up positive pop psychology. Shit just doesn’t work for me. I’m a cynic, whatever. Not saying exercise doesn’t realease endorphins that make you feel better. It’s good advice, and suggested by every quack as well, just hard to follow for some people, especially when you don’t see results.
I've been in a rut the past couple months and can't seem to get myself out of it. I just have no energy.
>shitty beer
>speed stick
ligma
You sound about as in your head as me. Sorry to hear you had to live with transient drug addicts. My ex had a little cousin whose dad had transient tweakers living with him, and she’s always been messed up, very crazy kid. Think she’s maybe 15 now. We used to take her for days at a time. That’s some really rough stuff. I also relate to the slacking off, did it later on after 7th grade, when I had been studious prior (by special dad standards) didn’t do anything for next few years, even in a normal HS. Dropped out after being suspended last 5 days of school, 20 credits behind, then got my GED.
Also you’re right I don’t see much good in myself and I distanced myself from everyone for much the same perceptions you have. Honestly though, I don’t want to accept myself, I know morality and life isn’t black and white. But I’ve violated all my values, and it still stands I’m left wishing for what I can never have, and I want nothing besides it in life. Never really did. Some guy said that people needing others in life don’t last long. You know the suggestion is to take your time and work on yourself, but at some point I simply stopped wanting it. It’s kinda counterintuitive as I hate being a burden on others, but I’m kinda contradictory to the core.
That’s really sad man, I can’t imagine. I’ve never been close to my sis unfortunately and I can’t even see myself being broken up too hard over her. But my ex lost 3 members of her family in the time we were together. One from lung cancer, very slow, another from bacterial menengitis, which came on out of the blue after a botched brain surgery, the other was murdered, bullet to the temple. So she was going through a world of hurt as I was doing these things as well. I’m sorry man.
You did good work, son.
My brother died in a car accident in 2015. That sucked. I feel like out of all my siblings I'm the biggest loser. I barely have a relationship with my mom. I haven't seen my dad since I was 11. I don't have a girlfriend. I have really low self confidence. I don't think I'm exactly ugly. I'm decent looking, but my lack of confidence and overall inability to connect with people means I'm always fundamentally alone. I have about 2 real friends. One of them is an immature selfish prick who's a complete alcoholic, the other one I only see on the weekends and he's moving down south soon and having a kid. My days consist of waking up at 6, going to work until 3, driving around for a bit and coming home. I live in the same town I graduated high school. Really small place. I had no desire to go to college let alone could I afford it. I'm stuck with my dead end job, my video games and this website. This place feels like the complete opposite of connecting with people. Everyone here just wants to hurt each other. Sometimes it's all in good fun and I have a lot of laughs but I know it's not healthy for me. I also have a compulsive porn addiction
Steel reserve is not an energy drink. It's a shitty bum drink that's like 12 percent alcohol.
Ligma?
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. This seems like it’s far too common. I mean the kind of life. Not losing your sibling. Just the life so many of us fall into.
?
You may have betrayed all those personal values, but we all do at some point, no? That's why we set these arbitrary values for ourselves in the first place. Because we don't want to repeat the same mistakes, keep doing the things we regret doing. You can hold yourself up to these values still, even if broken before. That's the idea behind redemption right? Why if you were particularly religious you'd fess to a priest. You want to fess but I think you're smart enough to realize a priest would just try to console and indoctrinate you, thus you fess here...
You're damning yourself user. You're your own judge who is far too critical.
Isn't it strange how obvious to us our problems are but feel too helpless to really take a mantle on our lives and make changes? Or maybe in some cases that is the reality, but if you believe it then it will absolutely be true.
I don't know how close you were to your brother but I met mine about two years before he died. He's my half-brother and we share the same dad. I remember the day my dad took me to meet him for the first time and within minutes we were playing, chasing each other around the restaurant, tickling. My biggest fucking fear is becoming so numb I forget i even had a brother. I knew him for such a short amount of time but in that time I was so so ready to be a big brother. In ways before he was even born all I wanted was to be a big bro. And that opportunity was stolen from me, and his life stolen from him. I wish I could be there when he'd go through the same teenage frustrations and existential angst I've been so familiar with. I want to hug him again and his feel his soft hair in my hands when I bring his head to my chest.
Please work on yourselves, anons. This life isn't what you need, desire, or deserve. Make it better in small microscopic ways, everyday. Stop coming here for one. Stop running away from painful things and the need to be a fully developed person.
Does Yea Forums actually dislike trannies or is it a meme?
I suspect there could be near limitless comradery and understanding between most of the people on Yea Forums, because many here clearly suffer similar strifes. Unfortunately the 'board culture's, memes, shit posting and everything else keeps us too distracted. Which is why we flock here and talk about pointless bullshit in the first place, to be distracted
I barely even had a relationship with him. I feel worse for my niece (his kid). My sister now has custody of her and she just had a kid of her own
I mean, what else are you gonna do?
Party and drink forever? You would do that because you enjoy it
He died doing what he enjoyed, so yea, nothing wrong with that
>died doing what he loved
I hope I can die like him someday.
But I'l probably die of a heart attack all alone on some trip or whatever.
Yea Forums is trannies
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who noticed.
what a cute hamster.
Can confirm.
Wow youre so cool
This, minus the trip. It'll be a heart attack or stroke by the time I hit 40. Hopefully at least one side of my body still functions so I can pull the trigger.
Why haven't the mods killed this thread yet? Do they sympathize with our suffering?
Mate, you need someone to talk to. Priest, shrink, drunk, family, whatever. This isn't a benign place. It's a safe place. Don't mistake the two.
I enjoy vidya and Yea Forums in moderation. Usually I work 7-5, afterwards I'll grab a beer and play vidya before making dinner. After eating I'll play a bit more or watch some brainless shit while browsing Yea Forums. My weekend mornings look much the same with rest of the day spent with loved ones or out doing fun stuff. You can do both guys, you just have to be honest with yourself about how you want to spend your time. Most normalfags are just watching Netflix or fucking around on Facebook with that time, at least vidya requires some engagement.
Mods on Yea Forums? Most likely they are depressed alcs or hiros bug soldiers
It's not really much of either, but it could be both. Anyway this user is right
I'm gonna leave my contact for you,
, doomguy.
my snap, if you use that, is >sleepynweepy
Yeah it's stupid but it's an accurate username, I don't have much else besides email but that uses my real name
Any sad anons can add me and vent about anything, all I've got is time to give.
Clingy, autistic, anti-social. Whatever. I don't mind. If anyone wants to talk it's there.
I’m sorry man, it’s still never easy losing a member of the family. I hope you can get over the porn addiction, I’ve started relapsing. But that no fap shit really does make you feel better. Ever thought of a hobby like music? Guitars been the only thing keeping me going, maybe a bit hard to get into for the first bit.
What games do you play?
And?
That made him happy. Why should I do something that would make other people happy but not me?
Isn't Prozac supposed to make depression better?
Different user, but I've been in the thread for a bit venting with others.
Anyway would you really recommend guitar? Iirc I have one in storage. I played it once when I was really drunk talking to some girl on the phone. Even sang and the whole shebang. I ended up offending her the day after and got blocked. I briefly fucked around with it while sober but idk. Is it something you get used to? Holding it was uncomfortable. I've got lithe piano player hands, all long and gangly. Felt awkward
It erases parts of your brain to make you a slave to the jews but not much else
Not much anymore. I waste most of my time, not even on Vidya.
But. I recently got into ninja gaiden black for the first time. It feels so good to be called a master ninja idk. Mostly single player games where I can escape ig. I haven't played multi in a long while, my online friends fell off I have no desire to meet new ""gamers"" in lobbies or anything
Funny you say that. When my brother died we went through his stuff to clear out the place he had been living at. I got his guitar. A fender electric acoustic. I've tried teaching myself with Rocksmith. It's not easy, and I find that I give up on things quickly.
Yeah man a porn addiction is a hell of a thing. I consistently get into a loop of relapsing. Longest I've gone is almost 30 days I felt great near the end of my streak. That shit really isn't a meme.
I keked at this. Why do you say that? What does that even mean? I got a Prozac prescription months ago after I quit my job and after 5 or 6 days I quit taking it and flushed that shit. I really didn't want all the negative side effects or the dependencies
It's more complicated than that. To put it simply what comes up must come down, and if it does help ease negative feelings there are other sacrifices that need to be made, namely the loss or dulling of other emotional reactions. Even then it doesn't work as intended for everyone, but it can be a useful tool if used properly in conjunction with other things if you're at the lowest of low points. The problem is that much like all SSRIs it's overprescribed as fuck with no further advice to patients who don't really need medication in the first place, so people take them with no guidance and bad fee-fees disappear, slowly replaced with a dull dissatisfaction in every other area of life.
are you^
I definitely do recommend it. I started at 17 as I always wanted to leArn but it felt impossible. Before I was trying to acquire a “hobby” cause I had nothing besides vidya and anime. It became my passion. You definitelt suck for a while, so it takes perseverance. It’s the one thing I’ve devoted myself to well enough. But it just comes down to how much you enjoy music if you want to make music, if you think it’s be cool to learn others songs. I play acoustic guitar, fairly proficiently. Not just strumming shit, but I also love to sing songs and I love singing and music in general. I’ve learned theory so it’s helped me write midi music, not just guitar. It’s the only fulfilling thing in my life. But it’s all personal. Definitely a good undertaking. A lot of people wish they could’ve learned but life got in the way and whatnot. It’s can be really frustrating st times, I’m super self critical. But as I’m an introvert, I don’t like to get out much, so it’s the most liberating thing in my life.
>smoke every night
>all I look forward to is being high with vista
>once I get high I dont even know what to play and get anxiety from not knowing what to do
>feel like shit and tired all the time I'm not high
I've spent years like this. I think I should slow it down. Should I ween it off or just quit completely at once?
>Also you’re right I don’t see much good in myself and I distanced myself from everyone for much the same perceptions you have. Honestly though, I don’t want to accept myself, I know morality and life isn’t black and white. But I’ve violated all my values, and it still stands I’m left wishing for what I can never have, and I want nothing besides it in life. Never really did.
I know how this sounds, but that's a pretty standard defense mechanism. I'm sure you see how, in theory, at least.
Fact is, it's not doing you any good. You truck along like this, nothing's going to change. Not in the comfort of condemnation. I won't pretend I'm half as fucked as you, but I can tell you that much. It's a defeatist attitude. And it's a sham, or you wouldn't be here. You're playing tricks on yourself. Not that you aren't a dipshit, and you should feel like one. But that is going to see to it you're the same dipshit into your 30's, and 40's, until it's actually true and you take the long way down from a stool.
It’s a selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor. It alters how your brain works with neurotransmitter. So it effectively alters your brain chemistry on a fundamental level. They say it effects neurogenesis too, the development of neuronal connections. Idk the implications of that. But it didn’t work for me, and a shitty psych who pushed some meds on me said it was 60 percent more effective in women. I chalk it’s efficacy up to placebo effect. It is overly prescribed and I think any understand of the method of action of pharmaceuticals is conjecture. So I perceive them all as potential very dangerous.
ligma
Rockmsith isn’t the most effective way to learn definitely. But I won’t oush guitar like a miracle or anything. Just worked for me to an extent and my only passion is music and I want to encourage as many as I can to pursue it to their fullest but it takes a lot of devotion. Definitely takes a certain mindset though, and an admiration of musicianship I think.
Whats his name?
I stopped buying it all together and just take a few hits when I'm with friends. Soon I'll just stop completely. Weeds a waste or money, health, and time.
It’s much easier I think to quit outright. Not benzos or cigs. I cannot quit smoking cigs for the life of me. But quit after three years everyday smoking weed on a whim. Definitely didn’t improve the aspects of my life I was trying to numb, but it helps me be more present and less anxious.
Great game.
i take a very low dose and its done wonders for me
I get it brother, I know how pathetic it all sounds. It’s why I don’t like to harp on too long, but I’ve no desire to see that I’m this way we’ll into my middle age, I’m trying to procure a means out at the moment. I don’t think I’m absolutely evil just nothing worthwhile, and hell I guess I see the worst in everybody else too. I’d just like an end to being bound to my ego, to expectation, to a world that’s always bewildered me, it may sound depressive, but it’s probbaly the most comforting thought I have to just be gone. No worries about pain to myself or others. Time rolls on, and everything is forgotten. Everyone grasps at happiness, but I don’t want to meander and never find it as the best case, and the worst case I’ve already brought up. People see a lot more intrinsic value in their life and experience than I do. Really man, if you knew me irl, you’d probably be waiting on me to check out kek
Is the porn Jew really that bad?
Everyone neurology is different glad it’s worked for you, it made me extremely depressed and feel like a zombie the 6 months I was on. Also couldn’t cum. I’ve taken antipsychotics and they haven’t been that bad. Though seroquel knocks me the fuck out and made it hard to ever be “there” as well
You can completely fix all of these problems you have without killing yourself if you just took the effort to do so. I know it's really hard, but you can do it. A lot of people have. If it's possible for one, it's possible for you.
virginity
I'm going to through sort of a similar circumstance. I've got a fantastic job, I've moved up the corporate ladder, I'm married and such and have lost a ton of weight and cleaned myself up so I look like a normal human being but all it has done is leave me jaded. Most of the people who I interact with now were the same people who had they known me years ago would have laughed at me and treated me like shit. Fuck this gay earth.
Well everyone is different. In my case, yes it’s as bad as it’s touted to be. I went for three months without it and I was pumped, full of life, etc. no desire to jerk it. But then I said fuck it as I fell into a slump. I think there is definite correlation with it and low moods, and could be causation as well. But everyone is different. I recommend a hiatus if you can.
Can relate.
this is a pretty comfy threads lads. i dont think we're called one another a retard in like 20 posts
>just shoot heroin lmao
>tfw weed has made start to exercise and want to eat actually good food since it tastes so good
>been drinking only water since it feels good on my mouth
>fixed my sleep schedule
Kill yourself faggot.
I have music on my mind a lot. I listen to it all the time and it's another of my primary stress reliefs. I've wanted to dabble in a real instrument or music software for a while. I'll pursue one of these, something. I'll find a musical outlet somehow, user. I promise. For myself. Take a month of to reconnect with your sober mind. See how that feels. Just don't do it everyday. I always look forward to getting high but I usually get stuck inside my head even more and end up tripping. Bad trips.
user. I'm the one that you've been primarily talking to itt, I believe. The one that never got to be a big bro.
Just let me add you somewhere if you'd please. I'm officially worried and would just like to be able to check in every once in a while. I'm not gonna bug you. Just need someone to talk to about the real shit everyonce in a while myself, ya know. Trust this user, doomguy
>as he was a big dude
4u
Ehh, im just venting. But it’s not so simple as being headstrong to fix them. I have a lot of reasons, and it’s a personal choice, I’m not out of my right mind as I say it. I’ve had psychoses, I can be extremely violent and get delusions, I’ve taken anti-ps and they make me suicidal. There’s a lot of things that contribute, but it’s alright.
lul
Definitely check out reaper as it’s a free DAW, but to make music you’d probably need a bit of prerequisite knowledge just to get started. Any instrument is good, piano is of course a beautiful instrument.
I wouldn't call it comfy. It's just people spilling out their brutal reality to anonymous people in the hopes that they aren't alone in this world with their suffering
I wish there was more I could say to help you. As someone that has gone to those depths and come back though, I know that my words will ring hollow. That's okay. Just know that I've never met you, and I never will, but I care about you. You are loved, and it's not your fault. Good luck, user.
Just stop being a bitch.
You might be in the minority. But weed does actually help with working out, can make you breathe better and allows your blood to flow better helping you get a better workout.
Yeah it's weird, I don't even feel sore after, just tired but the good kind.
I can also focus much more, it's worth a try once or twice in my opinion.
It def helped with my guitar playing, in that I’d play till I stopped being high, then I’d get high again, and repeat
Im also the one telling you learn reaper kek, the one you’re calling doom guy. I’d link my music cause it’s VGM inspired but it’s mixed like shit, and I made like 60 tracks (not all VGM inspired) in a month during a long bout of mania but can’t make music right now
Ultimately user summerized the sentiments I also have been trying to get across this entire time. I'm just not very good at it. - Take it easy doomguy. Nothing you've done is beyond forgiveness, nothing about you is beyond love
kek
No worries brother. I’m glad you could crawl out of your whole. In person, I’ve never met someone who felt as I did, everyone always seemed to have this drive I’ve been lacking since I was a child.
I hope you appreciate the nickname. I'd listen to them if you posted, I've listened other user's VGM before. I'm sorry about the 'mania'. My grandmother was apparently depressive manic and would cook breakfast for my mom at 3am and wake her up to feed her.
>no social interaction
>goes on internet 12 hours a day
???
????
?????
>weed used to make me feel great
>had a panic attack years ago when high
>now weed just makes me anxious whenever I use it
>I’d just like an end to being bound to my ego
Just remember the defeatism is just that. It was doomed from the onset. No point trying, you're too fucked up. Nothing ventured, nothing failed. Passivity is also a choice. All that gets you is failure as the default. You'll betray yourself in all the ways you're used to, and boy is it going to get more degrading as the years roll by.
>I’d just like an end to being bound to my ego, to expectation, to a world that’s always bewildered me, it may sound depressive, but it’s probbaly the most comforting thought I have to just be gone. No worries about pain to myself or others. Time rolls on, and everything is forgotten.
I get you. Completely. But there's no refuge in refusing to try. It's a false comfort. Doing nothing doesn't get you nothing, it just means you'll stay the same. You'll stay the same until you've racked up a large enough tally to throw in the towel, if you ever do. I'm sure you felt the same a year ago. You'll feel the same the next. Before you know it, a decade's passed. It doesn't feel any different. It's just another year.
Don't be good. Be better. Be better, or be done with it.
I’d say you did fine, and I appreciate it. I don’t want to seem as if it’s pointless for either of you, it’s just not the reassurance I’m looking for, not that I’m looking for it anyways. But it is meaningful so thank you all, but don’t worry about an user kek, shit’ll be. Right now I leave it to providence.
hopefully your marriage stays and you get a nice loli at least
Obviously our words alone aren't going fix anything or even convince you to try fix anything. But they just might nudge you in the right direction. Or at least you'll be reminded that people do care, even if those people can't reach you. Yea Forums forgets that we're all people here. All the memes and buzzwords are just deflections, everything here is just distraction. The best thing we could all do is forget Yea Forums exists go on with a 'normie' lifestyle
Why the fuck not?
Alright this made me chuckle. Thank you.
nerve gas or/and eternal bleeding
Anybody who posts this shit is just faking their depression for attention
Real depression won't be helped by not going on pornhub lmao
soundcloud.com
soundcloud.com
I’d say my two favorite tracks I made, not necessarily VGM, they’re all mixed really bad as I have old gen iPhone earbuds. Btw if you google my user I’m not the guy in Tel Aviv. The first one is meh, I like the waltz. The others all suck.
Exactly my roommate in college. Would stay up all night until 4 or 5 watching absolute shit on Netflix, than sleep all day when me and my other roomies were hanging out or going out to do stuff with buddies. He refused to get out and adapt and would always try to bang girls he knew from high school or earlier in life, which never went well, causing him to now be a registered sex offender because of a fucked up ego and view of women .
>>dude has funeral no one shows up
That will be me.
I understand brother
I agree with you as well, but think most people on Chan’s aren’t looking for their outlet. Whether it’s to shit in everyone else, talking politics, or about their passions. I don’t want to generalize the population of Chan’s too much, they’re frequented by people of all types.
Damn, story behind the sex offender shot? Was he fucking underage girls from the HS?
It happened twice. Once when he was like 17 IIRC, and he did shit with a friend's sister who was like 12 or 13 maybe. Being a minor saved his sorry ass big time. Years later in college or shortly after he was living with family and felt up a cousin, not sure of her age but probably 14 or 15.
He is the luckiest fucker on Earth and it makes me mad when I think about how he weaseled out of any jail time despite two horrendous offenses.
>horrendous offenses
>17
Got them bookmarked. I'll listen when I find my shitty buds. Thanks doomguy
This is true in ways, but Yea Forums also is a hivemind, absolutely. It's why the same threads and thread formats get recycled ad nauseum. It's why if you spend enough time here you will find yourself naturally adopting the lingo and antics of it all. It attracts a certain type of person. And furthermore it takes a certain type of person to continue to visit, and become a regular. Anyway. I'm getting tired. I'm going to stick around in this thread till I fall asleep because it's a decent genuine thread when you subtract the shitposts.
It's been nice talking you to, davadave69 :^} Keep your head up, man. Even if it's falling apart in the moment.
Why not get some good rest at a reasonable time tonight, while you're at it.
Blessed be all the broken anons.
17 with 12 is pretty fucking horrendous user
or based, whichever way you wanna take it
Still that’s pretty fucked up to fuck a 12yo at 17. Must’ve been a big creep.
The age gap at that time is pretty sick, and even moreso considering it was a friend's sibling.
It's 5 years in difference, unless he did it forcefully I don't see in what world that would warrant jailtime.
I knew this dude in HS, went to OC with his friends, ended up hooking up with a chick with a fake ID in his car and the cops got the drop on them.
Turns out she was 15.
He was a straight up dude just one girl fucked him hard.
Kinda feel bad now.
get a room you queers
Once you go IRL you can't come back.
I was waiting for this. You took too long though
Cool speech, what video game is this from?
Can you actually be registered as a sex offender because the underage was lying to you with a fake ID?
I don't understand. Five years difference is a lot.
>It has one simple rule: TALK ABOUT VIDEO GAMES
Are you american by chance?
are you serious?
You can be registered as a sex offender for owning loli porn in my country
Maybe if they were both older than 20 then no one cares. 5 years in the middle of your puberty years is a massive change.
Well they’re probably better with buds, nothing to write home about. A lot of the tracks sound like shit cause I don’t know how to mix, and I was writing in the DAW on a potato with a celeron processor so even if I wanted to run EQ itd take forever to write that shit in. So on some tracks there are synths with absolutely piercing and grating treble. Consonant tones, but so grating, might work for alarm clocks. One track sounds like an air horn is blowing. It’s too much of a hassle to learn mixing with a shitty laptop and earbuds though. Even the first track I linked has some really annoying synths and clipping, but it’s a consequence of insufficient means. The solo piano is more tame I’d say. But a lot of the higher pitched things are very piercing and painful.
Have you ever heard the expression 2 wrongs don't make a right? Do the math
This. We're talking sixth fucking grade and a dude well into high school.
No, but I was assuming you were. How else could you explain thinking 17 + 12 is acceptable other than "well hurr durr they're both underaged so it's okay"?
Yes
Pretty late bro, we already laid bare our souls
Holy shit. Based mods.
nigga that's gay
It's literally rewiring your brain.
thats a real alcoholic right there. I been there man. I used to drink every day like that and have liqour bottles everywhere. Its not a good life guys. Some dudes really dont know how to limit their drinking and its sad. I'm a 10 months sober now and I lost 60 pounds.
Lay off you misanthropic nerds
most of the terminology went right over my head but I'm sure they're alright for an user.
>might work for alarm clocks
kek
I've got the Prey 2016 ost as my alarm. Has been since that game out actually.
What do you even play, since this is Yea Forums
same
you have to quit overnight if you have been doing it that long. quit it in august like I am going to.
why take prozac when you can take based vyvanse
No, fuck you. This is why /adv/ exists. Or, you know, real life professional health. A fucking video game image board isn't the place for this shit.
nigga you just suffer in silence
Why wait until August? That's time to procrastinate. What if August 1st comes and you're still getting stoned? What if it keeps happening on the 2cd? Do you tell yourself you'll stop in September?
Wdym I'm talking about bideo gaymz
You what? Elvanse is for ADHD. It won't make you feel better, it'll just let you concentrate more. One of the possible side effects is mood swings leading to depression, too, so it could just worsen matters.
When I was working I was playing PS4, fucking warframe cause I didn’t want to waste money on a sub, bloodborne since I had PS4, bought rogue galaxy on PS4 since it was one of my fav games. Since I just have a shitty PC now I play a bit of GW2, but that’s really it. Just come here to kek and get in on ff threads as long as they aren’t ff14
Hardly game anymore as I don’t have the energy to go for marathons, and I moved from across the country so no more couch co-op with my best friend. Just a hermit who knows no one in this city, let alone state.
not the 211
Congrats user, it's a real bitch. I try to do what I can to stop going down that slippery slope myself. Especially with a family that has a long proud history of alcoholism.
My youngest brother isn't terrible, but he has some week plus combos of drinking every day. Even if it's one or two beers, a drink a day is not part of a healthy lifestyle.
Just drop it man, weed is the easiest shit to quit, it isn’t like benzos where it can kill you, or cigs where you just keep craving. Man looking back I quit popping klonopin after taking a bunch everyday for three months, just quit cold turkey. Didn’t know it could kill you. I remember sometimes I would just fall over, or I’d be laying down feeling like shit and I’d just start throwing up all over the bed and floor and I thought it was benign. Now pretty sure it was cause I quit taking klonopin kek
I have cycles where I don't feel like jerking off at all but then certain months I can't stop and I'm constantly distracted by it. Makes no fucking sense.
Vyvanse made me so fucking angry. I’ve taken Ritalin/concerts and adderall before. Man I’ve taken so much concerta I was up for three days, neither of those ever once filled with me with the uncontrollable constant rage vyvanse did
*shrugging black woman emoji*
Those steel reserves are under 2 bucks a pop.
You have a fucked up sense of childhood if you think a 12 year old is anywhere near a 17 year old just because herrrrr they're both underage. Even if we ignore the physical aspect of one just entering puberty and the other being quite possibly a full grown adult, the social differences alone are disgusting.
In short kys.
Works the exact opposite for me.
Made me capable of really crushing my anxiety, evened out my mood so I stopped being a moody bitch, and just generally let me focused. Shit, even my memory improved more thanks to it.
Ritalin worked too but once it wore off, I would crash hard and all the bullshit hit back in full force.
Adderall worked in that capacity for me, aside from the times I thought there was shit under my skin and I dug a knife into my arm kek
Though I can’t remember all the shit I learned back then
>no one shows up but his clan buds and his moms and dads
So he had friends turn up to his funeral.
Apparently internet friends show more loyalty than extended family.
nerve gas
Go to the bar user. Find some people. Get over that hurdle of the fear of meeting strangers. Not all people are that bad. Do community service or activism if you just need fresh air. Talk to some convicts and college kids, broaden your small talk.
I feel you about the games, I used to get autistically absorbed into games. Fallout did this the worst to me as a fat 10 year old. I kinda miss it but there's ultimately much much more to life.
I've got this shitty lappy that I'm going to try to get into Baldur's Gate or Planescape with. The real nerdy d&d stuff. My friends got me into the tabletop a few years ago to get me out of the house. It was fun but I won't let many people know that. Ninja Gaiden Black has been keeping my interest lately. I think the last game I've actually completed and enjoyed start to finish was Prey. Damn.
Both Psychonauts and Beyond Good and Evil are two of my favorites that would likely work on whatever PC you've got.
They're both endearing and made for young people but not necessarily children. BG&E has a stellar soundtrack while Pyschonauts has stellar levels. Both have great characters and charm, and simple yet worthwhile stories.
...
Give ToEE a whirl while you're at it. Great dungeon crawler.
living in a society
Do you prefer Baldur's or Planescape more? I'm trying to decide which one I want to delve into first as I understand they're big games.
>ToEE
Oh, neat it's an actual licsened adventure in vidya form. Thanks user. I'll try this but it'd be cute if you at least try Psychonauts or BG&E bc I just want more people to enjoy them. They never get their own threads here
I'm pretty hermit too, even though I was born and raised in this town.
My PC also isn't working quite so well. So it's mostly just been good low-fidelity games like SimCity 4 and RimWorld. I don't think I could even run GW. Something wrong with my power supply, PC hard crashes on many 3d loads, but I digress.
I feel ya, user. Felt pretty lonely for a while. When you got no outlet of real people to talk to, it can really take a toll. Hope that situation gets better.
I feel that passion for gaming when I was younger. I still find one every now and then, but it's rare. The bad PC thing doesn't help. SC4 though, SC4 I feel like I can always come back too. That helps.
Indeed. He's got my regular gamut of cheap booze. Plastic vodka bottle $10, wine bottles likely no more than $6 each.
Ah, I'm not that guy.
>Psychonauts or BG&E
Played both of those ages ago. Still listen to the latter's soundtrack every now and then. Good stuff.
I'm not a fan of rtwp, so no BG for me. Intend to revisit Planescape when I'm in the mood for reading. It's not too heavy mind you, I just have the patience of a toddler sometimes.
I go out to the boomer bars with my dad last time I got drunk and karaoked. There’s just old people usually though. And I’ve known ex-felons, tweakers, dipshits, activists, gays, white supremacists, all types of people. I’ve also done volunteer work at a wildlife rescue and rehab place, was really shit work and would not reccomend. Tho besides the bar, this was all back in the shitty homestate of CA. Though I preferred going to the bar in the small town over there, in CA, as opposed to whatever boomer shit my dad wants to go with me to. Or well go to jam sessions at this one bar, and I talk to people, but even as a musician I can’t stand the air around musicians.
For the games, I think if I’m gonna indulge in it in any focused capacity I’m gonna play ff6 which I haven’t since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to revisit it cause I only remember some characters like cyan, shadow, gog, and terra, so I’ve forgotten most of it. But remember I loved it growing up.
Also I can drive, but I don’t have a car and really don’t like getting behind the wheel, almost died a couple times while I was “manic” usually I’m super anxious, but then sometimes get behind the wheel and don’t give a fuck about anything or pay attention to shit and I’m full of this weird energy.
I’m running gw2, not 1, with intel HD graphics kek, and the worst celeron 1.5 ghz CPU. Everything is on the lowest. Some places I get smooth frames, and the game still looks good super low, say I’m in a cave by myself killing shit. Or facing the edge of the open world without much to render. But it has horrible FPS and stuttering. GW2 is already infamous for its stuttering in zergs. I just came back after 6 years and want to get twilight then ditch the game.
Your country is pretty based.
jesus i'm there now. 2007 here. why the hell am i here. why am i still drinking and reading this stupid shit. I have kids now
water is the best
Take care of your kids and show them good vidya, user.
My nephew, 11 years old, thinks Fortnite is a game that will make you dumb if you play it. I did well by him.
People just need to realize that getting a girlfriend or starting a family or being functional is actually hard work. Like, a lot of hard work. I just feel that most everyone is of the "grass is greener on the other side" mindset.
Damn that's how you raise a kid.
Cars with me out. Everytime I get in one I accept the possibility of a potentially quick or maybe grueling 6 hour long death. I've seen way too many videos of accidents and the left overs on the side of the highway to realize that if you're going fast and stupid enough all that steel just crumples like paper. People don't realize that cars are really two tonne death boxes on wheels, yet every idiot and their mother has to drive one to get to work. And at least you can cut-up and sing. Hell as long as you can find the heart to sing, even if you need to be shit faced then I think you still have hope. You've definitely met an interesting cast of characters. My neighbor is a paranoid schizophrenic, borderline homeless and has a camel in sunglasses holding it's cock tattooed on his back kek. My other neighbor came over drunk in overalls and stained undies with knives taped to his hand. Things stay interesting when you live deep in redneck territory.
I'm sorry you had to live in California.
Never gave FF much of a try. Turn based always turned me off. I had 7 I think on the PS1 when I was a little lad. But I played RE1 instead. Was 7 the one that's getting a remake recently?
And on this day, user woke up.
>when you drink a few Steel Reserves but it's the Speed Stick that does you in
>turning my life around
>got a decent job
>seeing a cute girl
>working out almost every day
>mfw still as bored as I was when I was here almost all day
At least reading manga is still a bit exciting but even this too is slowly getting duller.
3 tallboy steel reserves are no joke. They're 8.2% or something.
Yeah 7s getting a remake, I never played much of 7. I like the old games. 1,2,3,4,6 never got to play 5. Those are all turn based and simar systems except twos leveling and weapon system. And they aren’t grossly cinematic.
Yeah I’ve known some schizos, ex’s uncle was one, her mom was a schizotypal, knew a tweaker who was schiz, thought he was Constantine from the comic/Keanu Reeves movies. He’d always walk around with a big buck knife too, scary shit. I’ve known a lot of tweakers, living in the Central Valley and all. Knew lots of druggy dipshits. Thought I was never one beyond a pothead.
Working outs never been too much fun for me. Don’t have anything besides romance you want to pursue?
Man. I guess I'm lucky that I live with a Twitch streamer that is a total EDM bro and basically makes me go to the gym everyday. These past couple of months are awesome. I'm ripped and women approach me at the most random of times. Good stuff.
8.2% is a joke.
Yeah drug addicts are scary. If you live in even a slightly impoverished area in America then all your neighbors are likely drug addicts in some way. Heroin needles littered the street of my old town. At night cockroaches would crawl out the cracks. I mean the big ones too. Fucking Columbian screeching cockroachs that have no sensibilities of fear or defeat.
Being a pothead is already awful and just adding more water pressure to the toilet flush that is my current lifestyle. I couldn't imagine doing anything else, other than becoming an alcoholic
You should get off the pot bro, was smoking my brains out for three years. I wasn’t some stoner who only talked about it. But an “addict” who needed to stay high to numb it all. Quitting was the easiest thing I’ve done I think. I mean if you want to learn guitar you probably shouldn’t quit. But it definitely makes you complacent. I had major depression for 3 years on it. I lived with my friend and slept on his floor for 3 years, I only slept in a bed every once in a while when I’d stay with my ex. I had no energy for anything. Could barely walk around, and I’m skinny as can be, I just smoked and drank soda (quit that easy too) and smoked cigs, I felt like I was already dead. I weighed even less than I do now then. Sometimes dropping to 108lbs, cause I would eat like every three days sometimes. My parents did let me come back to the house though when I’d come down with bronchitis which would probably turn to pneumonia and kill me if I couldn’t lay in bed and use a nebulizer. I hardly worked during this time too, and not working now. But I can’t stand working, makes me even crazier being around people.
This but unironically and without a wife. God I miss being a neet. Having my own house and working are just fucking nothing, just a dopamine spike after I got them and now are my bane.
You don’t get a dopamine spike every time you pay your bills, like “thank god that’s over, now I got a month till the next time”?
I actually go to sleep around that time, I work PM shift from 1330-2230 most days, stay up about 6 hours after work, go to bed, get up around 1230.
I also have a crippling porn addiction and eat way too much fast food, and my work itself gives me enough exercise, but I don't do any dedicated exercise. Fuck weed, fuck sitting on the couch staring at TV, and fuck alcohol (except for special occasions), fuck medications, fuck screens in dark rooms.
Hope you can end the porn addiction while your dick still works man
I don't, maybe there is something wrong with me but it just feels like a constant burden, like having to work 74 hours a week. My free day doesn't feel good at all
>thought he was Constantine
That sounds like it would be really funny fucking with that guy. Just put a speaker the floor and play ghost noises occasionally.
God damn user. 3 years? I stayed with my friend like that for two months and 60 days seemed like a massive burden on both them and me. They'd take me in again within a second tho.
And yeah man. I know. Being sober just sucks. It's that simple for me. Why be sober when you can be anything else? I'll ween myself. I don't want to quit because God damn that sounds awful right now. I want to see if I can be responsible about it, and if I can't then I'll just cut it out. It's starting to get boring anyway. My friend recently opened up to me about how he hates how all we do is come together on the weekends to smoke weed in his shed and have pointless convos. I don't mind pointless convos but often we get so high we just trip in our heads around one another.
If I stopped smoking I know I'd pick up drinking more, though. My ultimate short term goal is to get a job and make money for gas, booze, and weed. Just smoke and drink responsibly to take the edge off, make me more social or pleasant to be around. Then I can really start crunching on the big important shit I need to worry about. Like a career and figuring out who/what the fuck I am.
You work at Trader Joe's?
I was being sardonic. That sounds miserable man. I’m real sorry if you’re really workin 74 hours a week. I knew an alcoholic like that. He’d get fucked up and piss himself when he finally got to bed after his one day off from working two jobs. I don’t know how you could do it man. Hope something changes for the better for you though, the tie down has to be torturous.
Yeah, I wouldn't pretend you're possessed around that guy tho.
Also
>fucking with paranoid manic people who have delusions, hide around in tree trunks, and think everyone is genuinely trying to kill them is fun
That's a great way to get killed.
God I hate stoners.
And God hates you
Thanks user, I just hope we can all make it
OH NO OH NO OH NO
I can't fathom working more than 40 hours in a week
source:my ass
It's funny how druggies will convince themselves it's okay to continue using drugs they've been abusing. Just quit them cold turkey, people don't think you're unpleasant when you're sober. I've barely done anything except alcohol occasionally for the past 10 years and I'm in a really good place. Quitting will help you in every way, just do it.
Wouldn’t fuck with a psychotic tweaker hell no. I just keep my cool and indulge them. You never know what they’ll do. I mean I’ve chatted and shot the shit with them around town, as they’ll just come up and talk.
Yeah 3 years. I wasn’t a burden to him, he was in love with me, to say the least, he wants me to move to Colorado to live with him still even though I’m dead weight most the time. It’s hard to work with people, I get super paranoid with everything they’re saying. I guess delusions. I always think they’re messing with my head or I’m a joke to them like they’re always fucking with me. So I have problems I guess. One of my old coworkers went and photographed my ex and told her “he must really like you a lot, all the girls we worked with were always trying to flirt with him but he never did it back” well I wouldn’t if I knew they were, I mostly thought the girls were trying to trick and deceive me so I never really responded how they wanted. I ultimately quit all my jobs cause I start thinking they’re out to get me or fuck with me.
Well you could do a lot worse than pot as a crutch. I also remember the days of hotboxing the shed with my friends and bringing their random friends. Good times. I remember stripping my step dads plant and smoking it all in a month. Smoking 8 joints a day, bowls whenever, smoking spliffs while I walked around town. God damn.
But I’d def try to not indulge in booze too much if I were you. Don’t rationalize that. Maybe on the weekends with friends, but drinking eats you up. I’ve never been a big drinker, though I am when I’ve gone on binges. But that’s rare.
Phoneposting, but here you go bro
sauce?
It was made up
I know I have serious potential to be an alcoholic that I'm just not tapping into. I could go professional. It runs in the family. I see my dad do it everyday but while he's an alcoholic and I resent him for it, he is no drunkard and I don't hate him.
And man that sounds heaven. I want to experience that for a little while, just actually having plenty of my own weed. It's usually buying it in 2g maybe even a single gram when someone with reggie wants to stoop that low. I want to make money and treat my friends with loud blunt after loud blunt. I love spliffs, especially as someone who doesn't smoke because that nicotine buzz and the bud really gets me.
Best not to fuck with those tweakers. That schizo neighbor casually told me he does crack the first time we really had a 1:1 convo. The next time he was telling me about how accidentally killed a little girl while deployed overseas, but he's a felon with multiple violent charges against women.
I understand the delusions. I was worried someone was ultimately trying to pick on me or single me out in middle school. I assumed people were generally just rotten in HS.
It's unhealthy to expect ulterior motives from everyone, but it's only natural when you're shown the worst in everyone when growing up
I will quit user.... Just not rn... Let me be able to at least splurge and really indulge for once before I kick this habit
You've shit taste.
This thread brought/v/ a little closer to each other. Thanks user. Fun times when zoomers are offline, who know nothing of lifes true pain
Thats phizzurps funeral. A completely different person who died in a car crash
You’ll get burned out on weed man, it honestly is very boring. Not like it’s gonna amp you up like coke or meth or something. I also don’t know what state you live in but in CA the weed there was “good” but being high on pot is always the same, whatever this indica and sativa difference is stops applying when you just smoke constantly. I even used to scrape my bowl for resin whenever I could and it was like a ritual thing. But honestly just a distraction, makes you jaded and apathetic, which I needed in my situation. Didn’t know how to fix it at the time. You should learn guitar though if you’re gonna spend a lot of time high. It’s befomes very fun stoned. Especially if you have someone else. Though I played almost exclusively alone, but I’ve taught people to play and how to go about playing with others. Sadly one was murdered.
I remember these tweakers on this street me and my friend would go hang out with them and roll cigarettes. They were speed addicts not crystal meth smokers, we’d go over and one of them would do line sof speed and then he would burn wood and make shit while we rolled his pipe tobacco and shot the shit.
Sounds fake
"Time spent doing what you live is not time wasted" - some motherfucker I forget
>live
*love
Burned wood? Is this something all weird poor people do? My mom and her unemployed redneck bf take old microwaves apart and burn designs into wood. Honestly looks really cool, they leave these charred lighting bolt-esque designs. If they're deep enough we fill them in with colored apoxy and coat the thing in a thin layer of the stuff to give it a sheen. Anyway
Got one friend and my dealer who's an aquintance that play. My dealer can shred, I introduced him to Maggot Brain and he's been learning how to play that. Showed his progress last time I bought.
My good friend has been talking about getting us to play, I know he wants to play it more. Hell everyone in my little friend trio owns a guitar so there's no real reason we haven't just smoked and started to learn
I only regret the time I don't play video games
>live
>love
Laugh
is china cursed?
No just overpopulated and doesn't have an effective safety overseeing organization.
Then smoke and start to learn bro, you’re the user that’s been calling me DG right?
And yeah I think everyone needs their hobby, and shit I think it would be fun too. I used to just whittle sticks for hours as a kid. Would enjoy carving or burning designs into wood, but I just play guitar.
I’m not too into funk, but I can play it a bit, but I’m an acoustic guy, I can shred, but I like more melodic music or ambiguous sounds. There’s a lot to learn but it’s verh fun
god it's like the universe itself is trying to control their population
I beat myself up mentally for my failures for years. Years! Until being sad and hateful became boring. So I tried improving my life instead. Now I say encouraging things to myself instead of muttering pessimistic things. It helps. Still alone after 5 years but with enough time even despair gets old.
as long as you live there is always a chance
i prefer to think they're cursed
Yeah being born in a place like that is pretty much a curse.
this
yeah I've been calling you that lol. Glad you stuck around in this thread to chat for a long while. You've sprinkled me with a little inspiration today, doomguy.
Pretty much this. I'm just getting burnt out on being a depressed neet loser. How do you stay like this forever
Good to chat without slinging shit, there’s a guita gen on Yea Forums that sucks, but it has resources in it. Never used them because I didn’t use Yea Forums when I started and it’s undeniably the worst board.
When I'm spending countless hours on Yea Forums, I'm always thinking "fuck this, I should be playing vidya right now!", and when I eventually get to playing games for a while and get to an interesting part or something, I always wonder "what's Yea Forums up to right now". A cycle of perpetual unrest.
I'll check it out, for sure. And I'll see if my guitar hasn't been stolen from the storage unit yet. Enjoy your peace as it comes to you, friend
legit thought this was a recent picture of Kit Harington on the decline
do you eat those things
Didn't mean to post the picture of twist ties... I take my leave now. Good luck and goodnight to all anons who aren't footfags
I tasted one once. I used to steal them by the handfuls as a retard child and make little flexible figurines out of them bc the usual plastic toys were too rigid for my tastes lol
Still have a whole shoebox full of them that my friends and I decorated with flames and skulls when were no more than 10
>>travel
Biggest meme in history.
Tourism is cancer on both ends.
You as well Yea Forumsro
But yes I do eat my recommended daily dose of 5 a day
2 thru the mouth 3 thru the butt
>kid spend free time playing videogames because fuck niggas outside be monkeys yo
>mom forces him to walk the fucking dog
>gets shot by monkey
>as a final insult mom display him like a fucking kangz mummy
Shit shouldnt make laugh this hard.
>only 12 hours
fucking normalfag
Groid didn’t even look that bad. Family must’ve been retarded to defile his corpse like this.
Ok of course they were retarded
I had no idea what this image was from. Thanks.
I's a bit fascinating to me how of all the minor transient memes that flow through here this one keeps popping up months after it died
>kangz mummy
goddamn, my sides
...
Being a true and dedicated gamer
ligma
Pretty much like me. Started browsing around 2008. Now married and kids...
the energy drinks did him in
I wonder if chinas main export are rekt videos of their bugpeople for the western world these days
>painlessly
> just chilling
>doing something you love
Bruh look at the picture
virginslayer incubus found him
i like video games and masturbating
>Thought I was depressed
>Actually just had a Vitamin D deficiency
>This man is sleeping
>WRONG! This man is deceased.
The most important effect of elvanse, I think, is that it makes me SIGNIFICANTLY better at playing Baba Is You. I didn't realise how much of a performance enhancer it was for me until I started tearing through levels with Baba.
It makes me feel very twitchy, like I've just downed twenty cups of coffee. It can make me feel like I need to do something about humanity -- you know, something grand and heroic and delusional. It also makes me a lot less anxious when talking to people, although I was so twitchy whenever taking it that it took me a while to notice.
wait is he dead? I fucking thought he passed out due to alcohol
big if true
holy fuck kill yourself