What's the proper way to design a Harry Potter game?

""Noooooooo!!" I screamed as Ron came forward to rape me."

Yea Forums would like this trite

i feel like it should be more on the cozy side where you can stroll around hogwarts castle and the castle ground. attend some classes, go to hogsmeade, maybe some hijinks with in game friends.

Made by Bethesda

To find a better setting that isn't written by a hack.

You, YES YOU, are now headmaster at hogwarts. How will you change the school?

I will repost it anyway
Azkaban is still one of the most fucked up things in the entire setting.
The ministry is straight up feeding soul stealing monsters, allowing mind breaking torture for even small crimes and allowing people to have their eternal soul sucked out of them and destroyed as an execution method.

i'm pretty sure it was a sarcastic recommendation

Magic miniskirts.

ban bertie bott's beans

open explorable castle with locked off areas and instanced zones that open up with story beats. game takes place during the evenings like persona 5, after school. oh god i wish it was real. as far as combat goes, 3rd person action would be cool but turn based would be neat too if there's enough depth to the spells and interactions.

Train a witch

Have sex

drown hufflepuff in the lake

haha you sound like you've got it all figured out sweety

Why would the make a fame based on the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Aren’t they making a Harry Potter game where you get to create your own character?

There hasn't been any news about that since the supposed footage leak.

mmorpg

This one for sure.

I agree.
HOWEVER

bully with magic
and character creation so i can make a cute snek girl

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FUCKING KINO

>forgetting the pic

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1. Action RPG
2. Character Creation
3. Offline Singleplayer and Online Multiplayer
4. Allow your character to age and experience all the events of the Harry Potter books/films
5. Time-Turner mechanics to go back in time for stuff you probably missed or areas you couldn't visit initially
6. Romance mechanics
7. Quidditch
8. Be able to explore Hogwarts, Hogwarts Grounds, Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, Hogsmeade, pretty much every area of the Wizarding World touched upon
9. Can interact with the scenery like eating food, sitting in chairs, etc.

Basically just Skyrim but with Harry Potter

Simulation + comfy SoL game but set in an all-girls magic school and turn up the yuribaiting to eleven. The Japs will buy that game in no time.

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MONDO COOL
THAT'S RIGHT BOYS
MONDO COOL

BONEHEAD

SPAGHETTI'S MY FAVORITE

FUNimation DBZ is literally 4Kids One Piece tier.

I fucked the start up too, I’m disgusted with myself

Kill yourself.

Like totally tubular post, broham!

>implying
None of that needs to be done. Japs are plenty big on the Harry Pooter.
youtube.com/watch?v=PHc7BcZYNnA

Oh, and on top of time-turner mechanics, allow your character to use metamorphmagus or polyjuice potion to make themselves look younger again

Bully with magic

Hang a rope from a tree and then use it to end your life

Remove romance option and multi-player, and you're on to something. Those are wastes of time that just takes development time and recourses away from the other areas, lessening the game

they've made improved ones since then when they weren't as strangled by kids tv regulation

true lito

We don't really know what they do with lesser criminals, but it really does seem like they just throw the whole lot in Azkaban - even juveniles. Their only excuse for subjecting them to dementors was that the soul succers were spreading like crazy all over and couldn't be killed, so they struck a deal to basically feed them as long as they stuck to one location. Some of the stuff we've seen also makes it seem like Azkaban has no human staff, at least long-running staff, which makes sense given that dementors have the depression aura going on, but it did give rise to funny ideas like dementor chefs and farmers.
No idea what they do in other countries, but the first FB movie showed that even minor violations of the Statute of Secrecy are punished by execution. Makes it seem worse than Azkaban in some respects. Some user did a write-up about how MACUSA's security was much more formidable than the Brit's, based on Grindelwald's escape.

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3D Metroidvania

>Make Bully
>But with Magic
Boom, please give me millions JK Rolling on the floor.

>Some user did a write-up about how MACUSA's security was much more formidable than the Brit's, based on Grindelwald's escape.
Care to post/link it if you have it?

>What went wrRAAAUUGGHGHGHHHH RAAAAUGGHHHHHHHHHH
My favorite version of the pasta, even above dehposting

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>4. Allow your character to age and experience all the events of the Harry Potter books/films
I think a game set pre-HP and maybe even pre-Voldemort at all like in the '20s or '50s or something could be more interesting

So what became of that Supposed Wizarding World game from last year that had custom characters creator? Was that just some impressive fan made trailer or something?

dumbledore said calmly

>pre-HP and maybe even pre-Voldemort
I strongly agree with this. Or maybe even post-Voldy.

name a more vile and despicable villain in fiction i'll wait

I've always thought the Victorian era would be the best. At some point, the wizarding world took enough interest in the development of muggle technology to start using a steam train to get the kids to Hogwarts, but then afterwards fell back into traditional anti-muggle sentiments. I think that would make an interesting time period to have as a backdrop.

ron ejaculated loudly

Hopefully that works. That was a nice thread to come across, as was this and the previous HP thread.

Fun spells, exploration and lore.
That's it. The lore especially, the writers for HP1-3 managed to keep the lore ideas very interesting.

I want a link to this too.

HARREHDIDYAHPUTYERNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIYEAH

I think the latest word on it was from late last year confirming that the trailer/leak was real, but deconfirming a rumor that Rocksteady was developing it. People were expecting something during E3, but it's been silence since then. I haven't actually looked to see if there's been any peep recently.

it'll probably be an early 9th gen game for next e3

Those two, if done right, are huge money makers, though. You won't get a project of this size off the ground without these sort of features thrown in unless you're financing it all by yourself.

it's not coherently stated but it seems as though Voldemort's type of pureblood supremacy is a reaction to a declining of their society based upon high mortality rates from dragon pox, Rowling wrote some stupid shit about loads dying in the blitz, and the old families tending to have few children to keep wealth concentrated
and, this one is purely my own idea, it seems likely that the rate at which muggleborn magical people are born is proportional to the non-magical population and that before industrialization the wizarding and muggle populations were roughly proportional, however with the growth of the muggle populations more muggleborns were born and began to water down their culture
I think it would be interesting to show the society more at its peak

There are still bizarre leftovers from it that they haven't been able to drop just because it was in the early dubbing. If I remember correctly, it was a guy named Steve Simmons who was responsible for a lot of the bizarre censorship and decisions in American Dragon Ball. Giving GT a rap intro, skipping the first 18 or so episodes of GT and replacing them with an edit that summed up the plot, "Tien Shinhan", Freeza with an i, Saiyan pronounced as Sey-en, Kaioken pronounced as Kay-oh-Ken when they literally had a character with the title Kai teach it, the bizarre half translation that is King Kai, terms like Supreme Kai, the nonsense that is "Daikaio" as a name, Shenron instead of Shenlong, etc. I've heard stories of Super's dub not being too faithful to the point it's almost like the old DBZ English dub.

Make it a mobile gacha game. FEH and FGO prove that any other ideas people can come up with won't be anywhere near as profitable.

alright weeb chill out

Do any of you faggots actually read fanfiction for real or is it just me

I feel like the series doesn't lend itself well to gachashit because most of the big names are still people nobody gives half a fuck about.
Plus, their last two forays into mobage have been a god-awful VN filled with continuation errors and dropped plot threads all over the place, and a Pokemon Go ripoff.

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you have to wade through lots of shit but once in a blue moon you'll find something worthwhile

You get an owl that'll deliver yer SHITEY MAIL

I'LL PUT ME _DEH IN THE OWL

yea
it's funny when I was a teenager I just read spacebattles-type of fanfiction
a couple years back I went into a slump socially and got back into fanfiction but started reading harry potter, asoiaf and some other similar stuff
I'm nearing the point where I'm close to having read everything in those two fandoms that aren't shit and that the premise interests me

>That demonic smile
What fucking drugs is he on?

Didn't the latest book state that when you're not Harry Potter, Hogwart is just a charter school, but with magic?

This. Would play with me wife

It can work user. Star Ocean fucking keeps using the same characters dolled up in different themes, like Nel having a bride, snow maiden, and french maid variant. the same can be done with Harry Potter characters.
>Hermione
>Hermione robeless
>Yule Ball Hermione
>Cat Hermione
>Summer swimsuit Hermione
>Minister Granger
>Mrs. Ron Weasley

well yeah no one else is having these adventures like that
it's probably a fairly normal school experience just with weird classes

Meh. It feels like a cheap knock off of My Immortal, a true masterpiece in literary arts.

A sandbox MMO.
Think about it.

No drugs. He bought that girl's underwear backstage.

wasn't he an alcoholic at this point
and probably a cokehead?

Truly the greatest literary piece of our age.
Having to save the school in place of the staff every year sounds like a lot of work. I just want to be tormented by a cute and bratty witch while I learn to fling fireballs of assorted colours and turn people into furniture.

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Are you ready for 6 months of "grr revenge"

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What happened now?

Don't let Rowling touch it.

The video was uploaded in 2009, same year HBP came out and Radcliffe turned 18. He never specified which films he came to the set super hung over from the previous night, so we can assume that this was just the start of his downward spiral.

>took a test and I'm literally 29% across the board for three of the houses: Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Griffindor

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I can't wait until the Harry Potter RPG comes out so the /vg/ thread finally gets rid of all the disgusting mobileposting

>remove romance
Go to bed Chris Avellone you gay hack

Merula was getting too friendly and cooperative, so Flatty Patty cast Crucio on her and fucked off.

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She vowed to war on Rakepick for the rest of her life.

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She goes back to normal in TLSQs so it's not that bad

>13% hufflepuff
Guess you'll be attending the orgies, then

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I have never played a Persona game, but it feels like something like that could work. You have your socializing and class-going, and then you have segments where you have to fight.
I picture it taking place over the course of one year. Oh, and set it after the book series.

>implying that didn't already happen with My Immortal

>Friends are talking about how they'd be slytherin/ Ravenclaw
>I take pottermore test, turn out hufflepuff
>they give me shit
>Make them take the test, literally all but one of them is hufflepuff, the salt is real and I'm laughing my ass off

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everytime i see dumbledore all I can think of are those stupid WELL DONE WELL DONE HOWEVER threads.

its funny because when you actually think about it yeah. everyone got fucking robbed just because celebrity boy was basically best buds with the headmaster. no wonder Slytherin wanted to RISE UP.

>Stories happening in the past releasing alongside the main story with a massive disparity in tone
The timing on that dating quest was more than a little bit clumsy.

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I can't rewatch Harry Potter because I've seen Daniel Radcliffe jet-blast his way across an ocean with the power of farts and use his erection as a compass.

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>about to win the game
>admin bullshits you out of victory because his friend is on the other team
>everyone just accepts this

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you are absolutely right

>AUtism
Let's not.

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never watched that movie but heard it was good.
so was it all metaphorical or was he actually a still-living magic corpse?

non

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>I don't like Merula's character but she's cute so let's make her into something she's not

That was a good read. Thanks mate.

FLIPENDO

The movie was clearly about being free to express yourself but I was pretty out of it when I watched.
I remember him farting off into the horizon at the end and everybody saw it, but maybe that's my memory playing tricks.

This. It's pathetic.

I will drown you in autism

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I like horror themed HP fics, they're kinda rare but when they're good they're real good shit. Also fluffy romances, I don't give a fuck.

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Why do I hear this so clearly? I'm scared

>implying whales wouldn't drop massive dosh for their 5* Dudleys and SSR Nevilles

spells are bound to triangle/square/X/circle
you can hold R1 or R2 to have quick access to two other sets of 4 spells
the only spell you can use is expelliarmus

What is the allure of this franchise?

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And I'll post the actual Merula

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>Also fluffy romances, I don't give a fuck.

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That faggot Walker really missed the point of those Zelda templates.

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man gmod harry potter rp is actually on the nose

Magic/fantasy and interesting social hierarchy. I think that's why women like HP so much.

western version of isekai wish fulfillment

REMINDER THAT FLIPENDO IS DARK MAGIC
>harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Arts
FLIPENDO IS OF THE DARK ARTS
>harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Arts
HARRY POTTER LITERALLY USED DARK ARTS IN HIS FIRST YEAR according to that game

Defense Against the Dark Arts should teach students how to protect themselves against Flipendo.

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>Alexandra Quick book 6 never

Reminder that Ginny was super good with hexes.

>Actually make an account on Pottermore to take their test
>Always figured myself to be a Hufflepuff fag due to not excelling beyond being a non shit person
>Roll Slytherin
Well then, time to hang with the edgemasters.

I also thought the Victorian era would be ge best. Just modern enough but no film characters.

New game plus lets you play as another house. Certain choices/events compound as you do all 4 houses. For instance, there are 4 copies of the book you need in the library. If you take the pristine books the first 3 times the only one left is ratty and missing pages.

It's amazing just how wrong that user was though, specially since he used Grindelwald's escape as some sort of measuring stick. I mean, let's compare the circumstances of the known escapes from Azkaban to the known escape from MACUSA.
>Sirius escaped by transforming into a dog
>Barty escaped thanks to his mother pulling a switcheroo
>Several death eaters escaped due to Azkaban getting blasted
Now let's look at how Grindelwald did it.
>Seduced a guard into pulling a switcheroo, which means that for who knows how long now Grindelwald was able to walk about freely in MACUSA.
>"We cut out his tongue" yet was proven to still be able to talk.
>Allowed to have a pet, which proved useful in facilitating his travel back to europe as a man on the lam.

I spend basically all my free time reading terrible awful fiction web serials, including translated CN/KR/JP, and even I think that fanfiction tends to be a little low-quality for my tastes.
But Seventh Horcrux was fun. As well as HPMOR and Natural 20

I'll flip your endo, friendo

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I'd honestly love them to do a refined version of the old GBC RPG's but cover the whole story

Back in the day I read over 20 million words of MLP fanction in the space of about a year

other than that no, I don't actually read fanfiction for real

You should stop posting the dullest copypasta in the history of copypastas. Seriously each thread about the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains is now indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy rhetoric, the pasta’s only consistency has been its lack of humor and ineffective use of repetition, all to make trolling unfunny, to make shitposting seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when anons vetoed the idea of using a different image each time: they made sure the pasta would never be remixed or worked upon? just ridiculously profitable cross-thread pandering for (You)s. The Harry Potter copypasta might be anti-kino (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Banepost in its refusal of innovation, applicability and funniness. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>b-but it's board culture though

"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the pasta is terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time it is posted, the user merely changes the first sentence. I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this was the only attempt made to contextualize it to the topic of the thread. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Yea Forums's mind is so governed by cliches and stale memes that it has no other style of shitposting. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the Harry Potter copypasta by a Redditor. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these anons are shitposting about Harry Potter on Yea Forums, then when they get older they will go on to make memes on Reddit. And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you use the "Harry Potter" copypasta you are, in fact, being trained to make Reddit memes.

based

ram ranch 42 has your answer

There is already a Little witch academia game

I'm actually writing one as a little summer project rofl

Isn't their one about Harry being a superrational savant that easily solves all the problems in the wizarding world? I remember seeing it a lot on TV Tropes

aren't flipendos those people who eat chick embryos

Is Ron /our guy/?

What are some of the best fapfics?

Yeah that's HPMOR
Though the author took the bold strategy of writing the book so pretentiously that you're too distracted to realise how much of a mary sue he is, and I think it actually worked out well for him

(I actually really like the fic, unironically. But it's very fast to alienate you if you won't like it, so you either drop it ten minutes deep and now you've got something new to shitpost about, or you read the entire thing and still have something new to shitpost about.)

FUCK ME DADDY YMOUS

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I suppose so, though maybe it's just that the punishment they defer to is more immediate than life-long suffering and imprisonment in Azkaban. Their security is shitty, and allowing a wizard of all people to have a pet is just asking for trouble. The biggest thing that sticks in my mind, even if it's incredibly fuzzy right now. is some scene in the first FB movie where they went pretty quickly to execute one or two of the protagonists for doing something that I didn't think was too severe. For me that's so much quicker than the deliberations they held for Death Eaters, where they let them escape pretty easily if they bought the "muh Imperius" excuse. And it has an immediate and irreversible effect - death - as opposed to the long miserable and "inescapable" nature of Azkaban (though you'll probably be wishing for death the entire time).
Maybe it just boils down to MACUSA appearing much worse on paper than in practice, due to the inherent incompetence of wizards.

So is magic ability genetic?
I never read past the 3rd book.

>epub version available
Based. Thanks user

At first, no. But then Rowling tried her hand at lore expansion and ended up making it yes, which had the ridiculous side effect of making Salazar and Voldemort right.

Lovecraftian Horror where all the libtard faggot wizards get consumed by Flying Polyps.

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I only read fanfics about FE, specifically about ChromxF!Robin.

Lets have some fun.
youtu.be/Ffh7cWRrqF4

Its a huge plot hole in the series. If magic is not genetic it makes no sense how it passes down by family line. Of it is genetic, then the bad guys are completely reasonable to want to stop breeding with muggles.

Jesus, can't she just hire a team of ultra autists to handle it? Many are doing it for free, for fucks sake.

Found this gem in that /tg/ thread.

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Implement Voldemort Day.

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In english?

make it a fighting game with fighting game inputs for spells

Hey Hey people

so what's the news on Merula? I haven't followed her since November

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Try Worth the Candle and Mother of Learning if you haven't. If you dropped WtC because of the first Amaryllis scene (which I did three times), force past it. It's not actually mary-sue/wish fulfillment/waifu shit.

It's too late, that shit's already in the books. Muggleborns aren't just children in muggle families randomly manifestinging the capacity for magic. It's now because they had a squib in their family tree, making their gift for magic just a matter of the gene appearing in them after being supressed for so long. Pureblood families are no longer truly pure. Instead they're all mugglefuckers and the muggles and squibs caused by their carnal relations are just scratched out of their family trees to preserve their 'purity'.

Was that the one they played on Toonami back in the day?

The original story is pozzed, and it wasn't even that good. Fanfiction will absolutely surpass it as soon as someone with minimum talent gives it a try.

You can take her to the ball and go on a date which ends in stargazing.
Then it's back to the actual story, where she's even worse than her Year 1 antics because it's focused purely on achieving a murder.

They implemented two TLSQs where you can take her as your guest to the Celestial ball and you can ask her out on a date. Within the main story she is betrayed by her idol and this tragedy causes her to pull her best batman impersonation, where she's training for vengeance on those that did her wrong.

would unironically read/watch

Who's her idol? Some new character?

>Go on a date
Meme magic
>Proceeds to revert back to murderous intent

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>imagining her training for vengeance

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Wasnt there an user who figured out that, at least for wizards, that Voldemort would have ultimately been a better ruler?

She's fully commited to it, she even stopped hanging out with Ismelda and practices spells all day.

the harry potter rpgs for the gbc and gba were nice

>Meme magic
She was always going to be dateable

Oh yeah. Whatever happened to that oily edgy bitch?

I thought the target audience hated her and that Yea Forums was the only one keeping the Merula magic alive?

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Replaced Merula with Penny's little sister, who started dressing and acting like Ismelda.

MoL is great; I managed to completely miss the summary and only discovered the premise when it first happened at the end of chapter 4, which I'm convinced is the best way to experience it.
WtC though... I got pretty far into it, like chapter 140, but dropped it because it just wouldn't stop explaining things. A story's protagonist is going down a corridor, and is met with a choice between the left path or the right. A bad (or neutral) story might have them choose one at random, a good story would pull out a few plot points from chapters back that show the right path leads to the treasure... Worth the Candle would spend three chapters psychoanalysing the main character to get them to explain their childhood fear of left-hand-paths. No thanks.

Though if you haven't read it, try The Waves Arisen (a second, shorter, HPMOR, probably written by same guy), or Threadbare (not quite the same taste as the other stories, but genuinely good).

The thing was shilled Day 1 on Yea Forums advertising Merula as a future cock sleeve.

So anything about Harry potter don't make any sense when you actually think about it. For example, how can the weasleys be in poverty when they have fucking MAGIC? It makes no sense. You have magical powers that can do all kinds of crazy things and you can't find a way to feed your family and clothe a few people?

Forbid all suspiciously important students from living normal lives of intense and responsible study.
Check references on my teachers.
Fire the groundskeeper before giant rights becomes a thing and hire someone vaguely competent.
Teachers of X/Y/Z house now supervise the dorms, account for discipline, work on events, and teach students of W house in equal amounts, thus immediately eliminating the idea of student bias and fostering the basic idea of hybrid vitality.
Hire an actual fucking muggle for muggle studies. Preferably one that has killed wizards innawoods using primitive muggle tech like "automatic grenade launchers" and "punji-stick pit" convince them/charm them into sharing their secrets for their own survival. Raise a generation of wizards who can also shoot straight and know 8 non-magical ways to break a dark wizard's spine while he's laughing because "he has your wand"
Insist the house ghosts raise school funds by spooking shitty muggle ghost TV Shows and being paid on a haunt-by-haunt basis.
Students who reveal "magical secret tunnel/hidden serpent den/how the taps even fucking work that way" type lost secrets of hogwarts will get grade credit/wizard fucking cash for turning it over to the school faculty. Failing to do so is automatic grounds for "Definitely a dark wizard" status and used as target practice in muggle studies.
Practical wizard studies would be a new study of "how we can use this shit to do something actually fucking useful" Cure wizard cancer, how to reconcile muggle/wizard relations, put a wizard on mars, can a goblin be drained of its jew blood for transmutation into gold etc.

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Harry Potter and the Natural 20 is actual kino. Too bad trnaslator died.

Curious how some other guy finished the story instead. That was some trippy stuf, but the use of the muggle effect on babby's first potion was brilliant. and exploited accordingly..

Yes, and Hitler could've made wonders for Germany.

Rakepick's been a thing for like a year.

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Not to mention the former head writer said people (Yea Forums) guessed her character arc much earlier than he'd hoped.

>mfw
youtube.com/watch?v=G-lU204jsiw
I JUST WANNA GO BACK BROS

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There was a side quest that revealed a bit of her backstory and motivations for acting how she does, but she's fallen by the wayside lately. Now she's got a new friend in Penny's sister, who has become embittered due to her year-long internment in a painting, starts hanging out with Ismelda, and insults the very person who saved her.

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Flatty Patty. Merula looked at her as a mentor, person that lifted her up and made her want to be better, and surrogate mother figure. Then she did her nasty by casting crucio while talking mad shit on her.

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How old are you?

Dude we have long surpassed the target audience.

32

Did Naruto rip off HP?

You can't create food or water out of thin air with magic, that's stated in the books. I'm guessing you need to know specific magic to create clothes too.

Yes.

Merula only got a 7% pick rate for the date.

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Pathetic.

>water
Allow me to aguamenti on your parade, Gamp.

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You can make food with magic without doing so directly. For example, using magic to hunt/catch fish or using magic to help plant and grow food. To have magical powers and struggle to eat is just silly.

>translator
I can't tell which of us is the retarded one here
And what do you mean by some other guy? Was there a fanfanficfic?

You're summoning it from elsewhere, Einstein lmao

HUFFLRPUFFS RISE UP

>tv tropes

>Beware of R
>Here is a new character whose name begins with R
>Oh no she betrayed you
>Bet you never thought that would happen
I'm annoyed that there was no acknowledgement that my character had never trusted her from the start.

You can also replicate any food you have in your possession. So really all you have to do is catch one fish or harvest a handful of berries and you're set.

Were the Weasleys actually starving at any point though? They always had food on the table at least, from what I remember.

Fucking augamenti, what a shitty spell. Accio Sinumprodigium is way better.

There are a couple of throwaway lines, but I'd not be surprised if you didn't get them because JC put a 1 where a 0 aught to be, as they do with every update.

>That one curse that is basically works like someone spawned 30,000 melons in one spot in gmod.

>spacebattpes-type fanfiction
i still wonder how anyone could like the shit coming from those minmax autists

fanfiction unironically ruined my life more than videogames

It just doesn't make sense for them to be poor at all. I think Rowling just thought the weasleys would be more interesting as a poor Irish family and didn't worry about the details.

I have a fanfiction in my head I return to in moments of extreme boredom or with nothing else to do, or if I need to sleep and want something to calm myself down.

If it helps I know its absolute trash, nor have I ever felt the need to subject others to it beyond this brief admission.

>Jane was constantly memed as an eldritch dark creature
>ends up in azkaban, a place that's being used to hold dark wizards and witches
It never stops being funny when /hpgg/ memes end up in the game.

accio gf

I've actually a couple going both of them I've thought about for years but only recently started fleshing out and actually writing, it's just to kill time and I don't really expect to ever finish them
one of them is an American series set in the Harry Potter universe and I'm actually decently proud of the world building for it and the plot I have laid out

Bah, author. I must have been thinking of some weebshit as I wrote that part.

Some guy wrote an unauthorized ending to Harry Potter and the Natural 20 (that's the title) after he got sick of waiting for updates. It's one hell of an experience, as if suddenly Milo was played by a speedrunner, and the whole thing becomes a rush to the finish line.

It's bad in the sense that most of the characterization and develoment is sidelined for the sake of pure murderhobo encounters as Milo wages a one man war against death eaters, and there's a section in the later half that's like an actual acid trip sidestory with some milfs that has no reason to exist but does. ...On the other hand, the actual fights and the murderhoboing are actually pretty well written, with the munchkinry being top notch. The levels of optimization are disgusting but worth a read for the entertainment factor.

It's incredibly blatant, but at the same time a lot of them got appropriated by Reddit real fast.

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I did like the Waves Arisen, and I agree it was probably the same guy. There's also The Need to Become Stronger, which I'd dropped and just now finished reading. It's okay, but unfinished. I got quite far into Threadbare before dropping it. It just read a bit too much like a children's book. For WtC, I agree some of it can get pretty tiresome.

I am exceptionally unproud of mine. There was a brief bit where I managed to pull a 10 year arc out of my own ass that if I ever write anything good I will actually use, but that's basically it. It's incredibly derivative of whatever I've been recently enjoying with usually a 6 month or so time lag.

It has at times had greater hiatus and pacing issues than Berserk. The boat has nothing compared to two fucking years in the same WEEK.

i said gf not whale

>It just doesn't make sense for them to be poor at all.
Why? Magic in HP can't literally do anything you want it to. Sure, they might have an easier time getting food and the bare necessities for life, but for any "luxury" items they need to participate in their society and make money to buy them or have very specific knowledge of the magic involved in making them. I dunno, it makes sense to me.

Innocent Witches is pretty good

Wait, why? Last I've played was at the start of year 4, I think. And someone dug up the sinister model of this gryffindor coward and everyone thought that he's gonna be an evil guy. So, Jane also became one?

Geminio'd food probably isn't something safe for consumption. Duplicated valuables tarnished fairly rapidly, so it's a safe bet that duplicated food would rot rapidly too.

accio bloodborne pc port

"Deh!"

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>Penny!
>Snape and McGonagall being suspicious as fuck during dating sidequest
And definitely more that I'm forgetting. I feel like I should be disappointed that JC is poaching memes, but I can't help but smile whenever I see them, like some of the good/funny parts of the community are making it into the game. We'll never know if that's actually the case, but it's nice to think about.

For thousands of years people lived self sufficiently with no magic. If you have magic and can't live self sufficiently you must be really lazy or retarded.

Harry Potter and Type Moon actually make for an interesting mix.

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They never say why. Jane being in azkaban appears in a sidequest that you unlock if you did the prefect application TLSQ. In the quest you hang out with the graduated prefects to learn about life on the outside. Felix becomes a dragonologist, specializing in the Peruvian Vipertooth, Angelica ends up training security trolls, Chester works for the MoM in the Improper Use of Magic department, and Jane says she ended up serving time in Azkaban. When asked what for, she understandably says she doesn't want to talk about it. Later when the MC asks them all for advice in being a good prefect all Jane offers is "don't go to jail".

Is there a named first wizard?

You forgot about the time Liz said that Hogwarts should have a fifth house.

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Well they're self sufficient, they're just low on the social ladder.

But they're not self sufficient that was my whole point. They're struggling to even clothe themselves.

Take the greatest Wizard, strip away magic, and what remains? They rely on it, depend on it, more than they know. Watch as one tries to hold a gun, as they try to hold a wand, and you will see nothing more than a woman – or a man. A child.

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So are they on like magical welfare or something?

I'm guessing they can magic up rags to clothe themselves if they really need to, but they'd look like shit because none of them are magic tailors or whatever.

>It just read a bit too much like a children's book
That's not unfair. The first third is literally that, but then at the end of the first book it suddenly transitions into the main character raising an army to rebel against a demonarchy, which it keeps up for the rest of the series (with a tone shift to match). It's got some well-executed plot twists in it, too.
...but I'm very much a strong believer that "it gets good later on" is a worthless argument when there are other books out there that are good at the start, so I don't actually expect you to try reading further. Though its same-setting-different-characters sequel, Small Medium, doesn't start the same way, so that's also an option if you were so inclined.

If you've seen those I guess you probably know all the big names, but I'd also shill Unsong in case anyone else is looking at this. That entire book is all about foreshadowing and repeated metaphors and mechanically-important wordplay, which makes it really fun to read.

Weasley's wouldn't be so poor if they didn't have 7 fucking kids like goddamn, most wizarding families seem very conservative with kids usually the one and possibly a second one, the ol' heir and spare.

The Weasleys are just super generous. I mean, they're poor as fuck but still spent resources to knit Harry an honorary Weasley sweater.

I knew about Unsong and Small Medium already. Got any other recs?

>the only pureblood family that actually tries to outbreed mudbloods
>all the pureblood supremacists laugh at them
And they wonder why they lost the war.

I've been reading fanfics for years and probably will continue for many more.
My years of experience has taught me there is no greater pain than loving a fic, following it for however long, only for the author to one day abandon it without warning.

Would Voldy have won if he equipped everyone with muggle weaponry?

Too poor for birth control. But on the other hand in a couple of generations every wizard will be descended from them.

Because Molly Weasley wanted for him to fuck her daughter, so she played on his generosity and honor and molded him from the moment she saw him for the first time. It's like Hiashi from Naruto, all according to the plan

Did she account for Ginny hooking up with Dean?

>Could like 20 guys with guns take over Britain?
To be fair, it's retarded even with magic. I have no idea how the death eaters got as far as they did.

For sure. But he's a stuck-up nigga who saw muggle technology as not worthy for wizards.

make everyone gay
>t.

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Of course. Jealousy is a great trigger to actually starting achieving things.

This is why you should only read completed fiction fan or otherwise
Harry Potter, the Geek got a few chuckles out of me

I thought his plan was to take over the world.
Did I miss something?

>implying the devs arent rigging it so the Griffendorks, Huffleplumps, and Ravencunts arent sated.

I've nutted ridiculous amount of jeez to HP fapfics back in the school.

Lots of soul, and by soul I mean night themed stages with comfy orange light sources (lamps, candles, fucking magic... I don't care), non-edgy story and power of friendship.

I already read some anime fanfiction, but generally there is one good piece for ever 1000 shit ones, and the good ones end up never getting updated and just die off.

More like the majority of people that play are women.

>turns out the reader was gay since the beggining
But Dumbledore being gay makes 100% sense.

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We are House Clover. The last great spell we cast was "Electus Trumpio"

Presumably that was his end goal, but he couldn't even take over his own country, so.

This makes more sense.

I stopped caring about that, to be honest, figured if a story was good enough for me to care, then whatever exists of it was worth the read, even if did not reach it's conclusion. Like the fanfic version of "better to have loved"

Not really. The books are almost completely segregated to Britain. Aside from comments that Voldemort was hiding in alban mountains and Hagrid went out to talk with Giants somewhere on the continent in the 6th book, I think.

There actually wasn't any Gryffindors available to date in that quest. You had
>Merula (Slytherin)
>Penny (Hufflepuff)
>Tulip (Ravenclaw)
>Barnaby (Slytherin)
>Andre (Ravenclaw)
>Talbott (Ravenclaw)

Three Ravenclaws, two Slytherins, and one Hufflepuff. No Gryffs.

Nothing else that isn't already at the top of topwebfiction, sadly.
Which is depressing because I feel I've read twenty times more than the surface-level stuff. It's just that the ninteen times that lie beneath the surface are all down there for a good reason.

If you don't usually look at translated stuff, though, Lord of the Mysteries is actually genuinely good. Which is exceptionally unusual for a CN work.

>Because Molly Weasley wanted for him to fuck her daughter
I'd say it's about 50/50, her wanting her daughter to be the one to rope in Harry Fucking Potter, and her genuinely caring for the boy like the son-in-law she knew she was going to get.

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wait, what?

>That entire book is all about foreshadowing and repeated metaphors and mechanically-important wordplay, which makes it really fun to read.
It's like Terry Pratchett picked up the Bible instead of a book of European Fairy Tales.

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I've read Lord of Mysteries up to the paywall

I meant sate the players.

>That old fanfic where Harry dominates Molly and fucks her everywhere around the Barrow while Ron spies on them.

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Was there lots of fucking going on at hogwarts? Its been a while since I saw the films and even longer since I read the books but wasn't there basically nothing stopping students from sneaking off together with zero supervision at almost any time?

>paywall
You poor poor thing.
Check out boxnovel.com

Actually no, since they cut 3 date options, presumably to save time.

Just like my doujins.

Rowling said witches and wizards are super conservative in their relationships, meaning zero fucking whatsoever. The most students ever did was make out.

There was an easter egg in one of the movies where the magic map showed two sets of feet in an impressionable position. Other than that, I think Rowling and her magical tweets implied a fetus deletus spell but I might be mistaking that for the no toilets tweet.

It's a boarding school, of course students fuck like rabbits in those.

this junior kowtows before senior

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Hufflepuff have orgies.

No, there's chastitus beltus charms all over the school.

There were plenty of paintings and ghosts, but if you could sneak past them you could fuck in an empty classroom pretty easily.
If you watch the credits in the third or fourth movie, you can spot a set of foot prints on the Marauder's Map that's one set around another like they're fucking against the wall.

And there's that bit that Rowling dropped about the hufflepuffs, but let's ignore that.

I would pay to see some mary sue character snap on a tsundere and just start wailing on her.

Is this real?

My question is, would I say it was worth it by going there for an academic exchange or is it not worth it at all? I'm sure the majority of duets at the wiairdzng schools are great about kepieng their ture selves hidden form ecah other. We don't like to admit that our true selves are evil and should have been destroyed eevn if it meant hurting our friends and families even more. Is it just as common for dunnest to not keep the truth about themselves to thvlmseees anyway? I amen for the marjoity of Steuben at Hogwarts it seems to go without saying taht they don't want to deal with that palticurar aspect of their scohol expenirece; not to mention they might not agree with their teahcer's deisicon though. I'm not saying that going there to avoid taht shit is anyting but okay, but I just don't like it. Why? If that thing in my head is not worth it I know taht it is. Totally agree on this book too. For me it was definitively worth it but I still feel like reading is a bit much at times and taht I'm missing out on so mcuh, at least not all the tmie. There really wree lots of fukcing going on at Hogwarts though. The Minstiry of Magic was going through a lot of upheaval, things like the Order of the Phenoix, the Wiadrizng World Defense Council. And of course that really messed evroyene up. Harry and Heomrine had just been talking about how they needed to set things right to prevent more war if they had to, they siad that before the battle of the Derapetmnt of Mytreises duirng their fifth year. At some point, the Mintsiry got more and more conjectured wtih peace and that mdae everything even more tense. Harry was having a hell of a time. He could tell, of course, but he had to go to Hoargwts. And he was being exermtely aggressive about it since the Ministry was still worried about the war. No matter

>that bit that Rowling dropped about the hufflepuffs
say what now

youtube.com/watch?v=351Aa5q_S98

Group Masturbation sessions, I believe it was.
Just ignore anything that comes out of Rowling's mouth, enforced Death of the Author is recommended.

No. It's from a joke article of fake Rowling tweets. Funnily enough one of the fakes, that Flitwick and Sprout fucked, got put in a special reprint of the books.

A rpg game with a character creator. You choose your beginner starts by deciding which house you'll be in. You can do this either by answering a bunch of personality questions or by choosing for yourself to skip that process. Classes for every day are all about choosing which school of spells you want to improve in.

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>tfw Rowling is a stealth Death of the Author supporter and is intentionally acting obnoxious to convert as many people as she can

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So you start out in two classes and have to complete the class. You can create your own characters or you can choose an existing class from the list. You also get another choice: when you start the game again you have more choice in what your starting class looks like? I don't find the game idea interesting at all or even interesting. Sure, when you first come into town you could walk around easily and have a good time doing that,but then the game slows down. I can't go outside after dark during the day because my character can't walk around. If you're a huge fan of RPG, I don't think I'd mind as much but if it's because of it's slow pace, then I probably won't go for it. Its how all these games pan out be realistic dude

I always preferred fanfiction.net/s/2554200/2/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Were there wizard nazi squads or is that too un-pc for Rowling?
Ministries are all technically government agencies right?

like skyrim but in a school

What the fuck are you even saying? Are you having a stroke?

Says a lot about her real tweets that so many people believed it was real.
The defacating on the floor thing was actually real though.

I really don't think she's that clever and I don't believe in Death of the Author anyway.
There's not a single classic that doesn't contain something that reflects the writer.

The entire wizard world is some mix of ancap + dictatorship. They send kids into the fucking Forest of Death for minor things.

no matter what I enjoy or can't pick up.I can see where some people would love it, but it doesn't have much value for me. I don't enjoy the game mechanics,the UI,the art of things and other such,and all that and for a game that's made as a series,for what a series it is and how it's made,I don't really care for it to say there's so much value for it. It's a good game that's made like that. So if you want it, you want it, but don't expect that it'll provide you with anything more than a handful of experiences over a period of time.There is a great deal of value in the experience, and not to mention the time you spent playing,but to me,I simply think that what has come out in terms of gaming has largely been driven toward something that feels similar to the idea of a "good time": a short game (as I often describe it), that offers a very short period of time, that's mostly done for the sake of it. There's a lot less fun in that regard, as you're really stuck in an "I want to spend a few minutes with a friend" state, which is what I would like this to be all about. And at the end I'm left wondering whether maybe that moment had become all too typical in this kind of thing.I'm sure you could improve it in the future to fix any of those things so that's why we need to continue to improve it in some way,and that is what I'm doing here,the game is not finished yet though. I'm definitely trying to make more games like this and if something doesn't work out it's not because of laziness or because of lack of ideas for the game.It's just the reality of working,and making it myself and not taking it and seeing what makes it the best way. I'm sure if the game does well it will do well as it's just an excuse not to do it because that's what everyone did years ago,and it was really not that hard to do that,I just had to have good ideas for how to do things that I thought maybe maybe people would appreciate. I just wanted to do a very simple game,that would be just dumb

Second best HP fic I've read, best one being the Hellblazer crossover that ended right when John met Harry goddamn why didn't it finish why can't there even be someone to try to pick up where they left off the fucking story has to be ten years old now.

Nah, she's just struggling to stay relevant now that the movies are over and she can't produce anything of worth anymore.

Seems like so. Considering that Grindewald's and Dumbledore's final duel was in 1945.

Dehest dehs deh dehe dehy deh dehie dehs. Deh deh dehing deh deh dehard deh deh dehs deh Dehwarts Dehdemy deh dehey deh dehed dehs deh deh indehable deh deh dehs. Deh deh deh dehy dehery, deh dehs’ deh dehency deh deh dehs deh deh dehment deh indehive deh deh dehial dehs, deh deh deh dehic undehical, deh deh dehtion deh indeh.

Dehs deh deh deh deh deh Dehling dehed deh deh deh Dehlberg dehing deh dehs; deh deh deh deh dehs deh deher deh dehen deh deh deh deh deh deh deht dehthing deh dehbody?deh dehusly dehable deh-dehtion deh deh dehs. Deh Dehry Dehher dehs deh deh anti-Dehtian (deh deh), deh deh’s dehly deh anti-Dehes Dehnd dehs deh dehs deh deh deh, dehty deh dehment. Deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh. Deh, dehfully, deh deh deher deh deh.

>d-deh dehst deh dehs deh deh dehough d-deh
"Deh!"
Deh dehing deh dehful; deh deh deh dehble. Deh deh deh, Deh dehed deh dehry deh deh deher deh deh deh deh, deh dehor deh dehtead deh deh deher "dehed deh dehs."

Deh deh dehing deh deh deh deh deh deh dehry deh deh deh deh dehed. Deh dehed deh deh Deh deh dehed deh deh dehal deh dehs. Deh deh dehlous. Dehling's deh dehs deh dehed deh dehes deh deh dehs deh deh deh deh deh deh deh dehing. Deh Deh deh deh dehish, dehing deh deh Dehry Dehher deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng. Deh deh dehthing deh deh dehect deh, "Deh dehse dehs deh dehing Dehry Dehher deh dehdeh deh dehdeh, deh deh deh deh deher deh deh deh deh deh deh Dehphen Dehng." Deh deh deh deh dehght. Deh deh deh dehing dehic. Deh deh deh "Dehry Dehher" deh deh, deh deh, dehed deh deh Dehphen Dehng.

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China probably stockpiles wizards like wmds, I don't think they're ever mentioned.

>"Deh!"
My favorite of these.

Deh deh deh dehy dehd deh deh dehy deh deh deh dehy deh. Deh deh dehe deh deh dehd deh deh deh deh deh dehy deh deh deh Dehlert dehe deh deh deh deh deh deh dehiddehdehdehdehdehdehdeh Dehlddehdehdeh dehh Dehdehdehdeh, dehdehdehdehdehde h deh deh deh deh deh dehd Dehlddehdehdeh dehdehdehdeh Dehlddehdehdehdeh Dehldddehdeh, dehdehdehddehdehd Dehlddehdehhddehddeh Dehlddehhd Dehldddehdeh, Dehldddehdehdehd, Dehlddehd DehlddehhhdDEhDehDehDehDEh DehldddehdDehdehdDehdDDDehDDdehDehd Dehlend Dehlendehdeh Dehlende Dehlende DehlendeDehlende deh deh dehy deh dehd deh deh, deh deh dehy deh dehd deh deh dehy deh dehd deh dehd deh deh, deh deh dhedeh deh deh dd hdh dd dh dh dah dh dah dd dd dd dd. Dd hd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd. Hb dhd dd dd dd dh dd dh dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd, dah dah dah dah dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd dd D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D N D D D T T T T A T A D D T A A A A A A A A A A A A A . Deh deh deh deh dehd deh deh deh deh deh deah deh dehy deh dehd deh. Deh deh dehd da deh dehd dehd dehd deh dehd dehd dehd deh. Deh deh dehd do deh dehd dehd dehd dehd ddeo deh dehd dehd da da dehd da. deh dehd ddi dehd ddi dehd ddi da dehd ddi dehd ddi. Dehd ddi dehd ddi dehd ddi ddi dehd ddi da da. dehd ddi dehd ddi ddi ddi dehd ddi da da. dehd ddi dehd ddi ddi ddi dehd ddi da da da. dehd ddi da dehd ddi ddi ddi dada ddi (dia-da da-da da-da da da da da.) Déo de-De-da de-Di-da-

Was it actually hot? Link if so.

Why would you want to stay relevant? She's got a golden ticket

-make sure you can fuck Luna and Hermoine
-eh you can put in some spells too I guess

Only for a show that has a dedicated site with a huge community, meaning there's a vast selection of decent to great literature. Yes, it is ponies.

She thinks that because she wrote a book that sold well, that she has moral authority to push her politics down everyone's throats.

I notice that for all her calls for everyone else in Britain to do so, she's yet to put up any "refugees" in her own, multi-million dollar home.

>someone actually posting about how they'd make a harry potter game
Oh, right.

I'd make a spellcasting system similar to tricks in the skate games, perfect execution of stick movements and patterns, then at the right time during flicking your wand around you press something, probably a trigger/R2 to announce the name of the spell you just swish and flicked.

The precision of your stick movements and a short timing window for the trigger pull would determine the potency of your spell.

I guess it would need to have a lock-on system if the right stick is dedicated totally to spellcasting and not to aiming, and this also leaves like almost all the buttons completely without purpose so I don't really know what else to include, a jump button I guess and maybe a dodge button?

That sounds really good actually, kind of like a fighting game but a bit more forgiving.

the last i heard about Hogwarts mystery it was complaining about microtransactions is it really worth playing?

No. All the Yea Forums threads about it was just waifufagging. Everyone there emulated it because the EA jewry was too much for even regular progression. They progressgate you to death unless you pay.

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Not at all.

Any cracked versions?

how can i pirate it on my tablet then?

>is it really worth playing?
Fuck no. Any of us still keeping up with it only do so because we're already in too deep and may as well see it through.
That said, everybody cheated through the MTX bullshit from the get-go, so it's mostly a 30 minute tap-a-thon every thursday night.

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Nah

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You can't, or at least it's not really recommended. Being a F2P mobile game, it updates weekly but the story updates between months. It's PC cracked emulated and I think /vg/'s Merula threads have the links.

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>That sounds really good actually
Thanks for saying so

Sometimes I wonder how the writer feels about his entire headcanon being overwritten

AA2 game except Wizard themed and with better graphics and character creation.

if i play the cracked version do i get the updates?

This. But I dont care either way.

Don't bother with a hacked apk, just mod your currency and shit yourself with gameguardian, which is basically cheat engine but for androids.

>cheat engine for android

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believe it or not i have a fre tablet of all things wth an apk installed google play store

Bottom right has the best hair.
It’s so big.

>implying

What the fuck you talking about
The game has no anti cheat and all currencies are stored on the client side, so cheating infinite resources is effortless.
DO NOT DOWNLOAD SHITTY "MODDED" APKS

Regardless of resources, the game is long, boring and a chore.
To get to year 6, even with infinite stats, you will need to mindless click to progress and wait for animation for around 40 hours
If you arent a big time waifu-fag or genuinely loves all kinds of VN, i dont recommend it.
t.6 im in year 6

how do i cheat in mobile games?

>Ron Raper

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Magicka, but 3d.

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I think I left that shit on year four and restarted to make merula be on the front page of some magazine.
I'm not going back to that shit, it takes ages to progress.

ravenclaws are ugly nerds
even hufflepuff is better cause you can get a nice kooky throatfucking on

Ironically this is the exact type of creativity the pasta bemoans. In effect, this pasta may revitalize "No!"-posting

I like big, poofy hair. It implies that they’re healthy, and prefer natural forms of self care (which means less makeup).
Also I can grab the back of her head easier.
Which do you like the best?

You're my brother from another mother. Do you have any good ones to recommend?

Short messy hair

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Just make the Philosopher's stone video game again, but for every year of the school, and wrap them up into a single game.

HP only ever trends here and Yea Forums, the latter amusingly being the least-related to the series.

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>shit yourself with gameguardian
now that's technology

Also a good choice. As long as the girl is cute, me thinks.

How bad?

>No updates from illusion on their upcoming games aside from the lab tech stuff
I just want to convert my cards to a hopefully-better engine.

To be fair, if you start messing with values at 2AM on your Year 6 account and fuck something up, chances are you will shit yourself.

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Why is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban considered the best Harry Potter book and movie?

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Is it hard to cheat properly on it?

Nice amount of lore, adventure, HermoinexHarry moments, and it was peak HP.
It went south by Goblet, and tedious by Phoenix.

Asked my mother why she liked them the best once and she figured it was the best balance between the light-heartedness of the first two and the gloominess of the later installments, and that Dementors were one of the only genuinely interesting monsters Rowling added.

Pretty sure she just wanted to fuck Remus and Sirius though

Did Jerry cause as much anal devestation as ichiruki/naruhina?

Magicka is 3D, retard.

>ichiruki
Did that happen? Last I heard she was being pushed for either cakedom or that one borderline useless sideshow. Also something about being relegated to sexual fanservice.

Naruhina caused assmad?

>he doesn't know

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Fuck I didn't mean Ichiruki, I meant Ichihime. But Bleach had a rushed as fuck ending that ended with Ichihime with a son and RenjRukia with a daughter, and that was a FUCKTON of butthurt by fans, mostly because it was a sudden ending and not because of the pairing.

>ichiruki
But he ended with Orihime

>People are mad the literal best, hottest in and out of fanart, and most feminine girl in the series and the only worthwhile thing about it since Rock Lee lost to Gaara(the exact moment it went downhill) finally gets to be all loveydovey housewife to her dream guy in canon
>And they freak the fuck out
These are making me smile. Does anyone have the copypasta where it turns out the whole series was Hinata's dad and Neji trying to make babbies with Naruto and Hinata?

A VR game where you need to speak the words and swish and flick the controller to cast a spell.
>ITS LEVIOSAAAAAAAA

>Ichihime
Did Orihime at least become a decent character, or did she remain a bland as shit damsel forever?
I bowed out real fucking early desu, Tatsuki was my jam

Not really. In the books Ron's character is a lot better and Harry's crush on Ginny is fleshed out more.
It's the movies where Ginny got less screentime, while Hermione had been pushed more and because of this Harry/Hermione makes more sense.

imgur.com/a/gc6Cc

YES!

I'LL FUKIN' BURST YEE.....

>Hinata is a pure, devoted big titty milf
>Porn is nothing but CLOUDED cuck shit
>Can't even get that one dude who did that vanilla honeymoon doujinn and official(?) animators/artists because Narusaku/Sasusaku fans are buttmad he cares about Naruhina more
FUCK THIS GAY EARTH

She got better, I guess. She's not kicking ass but she's no longer on the sideline being an anchor, most of the time. She got a better hold on her busted support magic though.

movie was directed by an actually good director

>gets blacked
im waiting till it actually gets memed into existence

What?

Based drunk schizo poster.

I’m not reading through 300+ posts to see if anyone has posted Bully already but it should be like Bully. Detach it entirely from the Harry storyline, no death eaters no Voldemort.

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You play as a teacher and you teach kids magic. As the years go by you also teach them about sex ;)

Do Naruhodo. Art is decent tier and he does some Naruhina stuff... some. Some not so much. Its not vanilla per se either as Naruto gives into lust and just shoots several gallons of semen into Hinata. And Hinata makes awkward attempts at seduction. To be honest Hinata needs a spin off...like where she just does cute lovey dovey housewife things and shinagins happen.

But Naruhodo lately only draws cuck shit with zetsu or nonames.

I know. Its a damn shame. I want a sequel to the high school one where Hinata agrees to share Naruto with tsunade since she is sad for lack of attention.

Ctrl-F exists

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>and not because of the pairing.
Speak for yourself, Rukia had all the emotional character development with Ichigo. I'm still mad.
Ginny was just boring. If Rowling was able to write with more depth then a puddle she should've utilised the slytherins as a foil more. Probably why daphne and harry is so popular

just give me a big ass castle and surrounding areas to explore, lots of cool ways to explore and shit to collect. let me fly around on a broom. give me a bunch of cool spells to use and ways to use them on the environment and kill enemies with.

>both Naruto and Harry Potter discussion ongoing
Blessed thread.

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Poor people in general doesn't make sense, you could easily learn a lot of skills to simply catch and grow your own food, make your own electronics and stuff yet there you are poor and whining because you don't have enough fiat currency.

Pathetic.

This. Make it like Gravity Rush with comfy environments, minigames, discoverables, and a light story.

You'd be put to ass fast ban by the rest of the wizard community.
these are people that took shits in the corner up until the late 1800's

>Catch food
>Be arrested and fined for poaching
>Grow food
>Need a suitable area of land to grow it, be fined for privately growing goods on someone else's land
>Grow it in a shed with lamps, have to pay the electricity costs
wtf i'm poorer than i started

only if it's erotic.

HOWEVER

I don't understand the greengrass sisters thing. They've never been used in the books, but immensely popular in the fandom.
I've literally discovered them through the fanfics and was suprised when I've discovered that they're canon.

There's a difference between "Giving your 6 kids brand clothing each month" and "making them wear moleskin patchwork". The weaslies never really were in need of cash, they managed. But they were also living without a lot of comfort that the self sufficient people you are gloathing over had to live without.

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Does a house win at the end of every year?

Like I said, people wanted harry to get a slytherin girlfriend. It would have been a good start to giving them proper characterization instead of making them the evil nazi house. Daphne is just a blank slate for them to write that on. Me personally I like the idea that draco would be Harry's brother in law.

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I've got a few that I follow, a Digimon fixfic that's godly, and stuff like Shinji & 40K.
Looking for something for Sailor Moon that's not garbage.

Lmao get a clue poorfag

There’s also the fact that it seems pretty heavily implied that magic is a dominant genetic trait due to how rare squibs are, which ought to mean wizards would eventually outbreed the muggles over time

yes but not for harry potter
although i did read a short HP one that someone linked about petunia getting old and regretful and trying to reconcile with harry, that one was pretty good

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It was the last one that felt like an episodic adventure, before it became solely Voldemort centric.

>Open world
>House selection
>Alignment system
>Fully fleshed romance options
>Class system (potions master, transfiguration, charms, DADA, etc.)
>Delves in to how fucked up and dark the magic world really is
>Mod Support

It’s because they’re people that canonically exist yet have literally no official personality. They can be moulded to whatever the writer in question likes.

Pure muggle route that allows you to exterminate mages with technology.

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>open hub worlds
Fixed

>before it became solely Voldemort centric.

What's wrong with that?

There's a massive conspiracy to keep the wizarding world absolutely pants on head retarded by the upper class. The fact that wizards can even read is fucking astounding. Wizard children don't start school until the age of 11. They don't even learn math until then (no, really. basic math was a class for students, and it eventually turned in to a class about the magic of numbers), so the only wizards getting ahead in life are the ones who are rich and can afford to homeschool their kids prior to wizard school.

It is so fucking easy for wizards to not be poverty tier hand me down shitters. They have magic. They can literally do anything. But why are they so fucking stupid? Why is it that they say, "Oh well they're hungry because you can't just make food out of thin air with human magic! Only magical beasts can do that! You need to know WHERE the food is for you to be able to summon it!" yet none of these wizard fucks has ever heard of a grocery store or a restaurant? Hell, as long as you knew where a farm was, you could summon all the shit you needed.

>Oh man, I sure am hungry for some soup!
>But damn my luck, I have none in the home and am somehow too poor to buy any! Whatever shall I do as a wizard?!
>Oh wait! There's a muggle restaurant in town with really good soup! I know where that soup is! If only there were a spell that would allow me to conjure up some of that restaurant soup! But alas! Magic can't conjure food out of nothing! Too bad I can't use that spell that literally transports objects from one known location to another can't be used on food, even though we use that exact same spell all the fucking time to conjure shit we made ourselves but were saving for later!

Also,

>use magic to rob muggle banks or atms
>take stolen muggle money to nearest goblin bank
>convert to wizard coin
>repeat
>???????
>LITERAL PROFIT TO THE POINT OF NEVER NEEDING TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY EVER AGAIN

Haven't wizards already gone to outer space in the lore?

Not him but Voldemort was an idiot and a terrible villain. The plot suffered because of it.

Release Year One with a whole school to explore, then release DLC annually for 6 years.
You can choose what house you're in. Some choices carry through all 7 years of content. More potions, spells, brooms, familiars, dungeons, etc. come out over time.

>Not him but Voldemort was an idiot and a terrible villain. The plot suffered because of it.

Explain yourself.

That was an advert for a racing broom and propaganda. There's no evidence wizards have ever been out in space.

so Hogwarts Mystery but with actual gameplay?
Also why not just release a finished game?

With Meru in it

yes

Penny!

>why not just release a finished game?

Why the fuck would I want a smaller, self-contained game when we're talking about the perfect Hogwarts game?
This is a really fucking stupid question.

Nah. He's probably too exhausted for that one.

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what was his fucking problem

>Explain yourself
Are you serious? Every one of his plans, every single fucking one.

>pride and prejudeh
>don quixodeh

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Can you honestly even name Voldemort's plan other than
>Kill Harry Potter
>Pureblood incest wizards only
>Kill all muggles

Grindlewald's plan was far more simple, yet infinitely better, and everyone claimed he was an even bigger psychopath than Voldemort. His plan was literally
>Expose the wizarding world to the muggles

>HPMOR and Natural 20
A bit too serious for me, but Seventh Horcrux is right on the money.
I also like Nonjon's stuff, except the crossovers but that's more because I don't like crossovers.
Two other good ones are Saying No and Oh God, Not Again!
Based on this small collection, can you recommend me anything as good as A Black Comedy?

I was also confused on their law/judicial system. There's known memory accessing spells, and you're telling me no one bothered to check Sirius' memories for Lily and James' death or fact checking Harry's claims of Voldemort's return?

You also have a prophecy of every single wizard that tells you what they'll do in life. And a portal that shows you dead spirits in the afterlife who can actually non verbally respond to you so long as you don't walk through the portal and insta kill yourself.

Magic detective skills are basically, "Check the corpse if you can find one, check the wand, and fuck everything else" as shown by Sirius's trial.
>Find finger
>Assume the dude was obliterated SO HARD by magic that all that survived was a single finger
>Find wand
>Cast spell on wand to see recent cast history
>Never consider for even a moment that the wand could have been used by another wizard
>Don't bother to use truth serum, memory spells, etc. to interrogate the suspect, just immediately find them guilty

Also, why the fuck wasn't wand alignment a major pain in the ass throughout the series? You constantly see people getting disarmed just for practice and then carrying on as normal, even though it's stated in deathly hallows that if you were disarmed by another wizard, your wand would never, EVER be as strong as it once was, or would flat out refuse to cast for you further depending on the core. Yet this never becomes an issue AT ALL until the very last book because >hurr durr gotta find a loophole somewhere!

obviously

the only right answer

Memories and truths are said to be subjective to the one being interrogated, that's why veritaserum isn't used in the Wizengamot and why Dumbledore had asked Harry to get close to Slughornafter realizing that his memory of Tom Riddle was off.

Basically, if a person believes something to be true then that's all you get out of truth serum, and if something is "yep, that's how I 'member it" then that's all you get out of legilimens/a pensieve.

>You constantly see people getting disarmed just for practice and then carrying on as normal, even though it's stated in deathly hallows that if you were disarmed by another wizard, your wand would never, EVER be as strong as it once was, or would flat out refuse to cast for you further depending on the core.
It depends on the wand. Some are fiercely loyal to their original owners and will never change alignment. Others obey the rules of engagement and will accept the victor as their new owner. Dogwood wands, for instance, cannot cast nonverbal spells ever. But the people that would use a dogwood wand are people like Fred, George, and Tulip.

The wand deciding to go “nah fuck you I choose the guy who hit you with the basic 2nd year taught disarming spell to be my master now” was the dumbest retcon I felt.
Honestly that should have just been the rule for the Elder Wand not all of the wants to follow.

>Harry spend hours finding the right wand
>when Ollivander could have just taught him the disarming spell, picked any random wand and had him sorted in minutes

Nonverbal casting is literally required by like, year 4 or some shit. Plus the idea of wands in general was fucking retarded as it was explained that wands are only meant to help focus the wizard's ability to use magic, not be a requirement of it. It was even stated someplace that a wizard could use ANY object to help them cast spells, but some were more effective than others, which is why wands won out over other things. Hell, even spells themselves were just crutches to help wizards learn to focus desire in to result. That's why non verbal casting and non swing spells are a thing. They're just there to help you focus.

Not even that, you could literally smack the wand out of a wizard's hand and you run the risk of alignment change.

based and merupilled

You'll still need a wand to cast a spell to disarm someone in the first place. On that subject it really is a shame how the lore surrounding wands is underutilized in the material. You have all this talk about wands and the meanings behind their cores, wood types, lengths, and amounts of flexibility, yet you see none of that in action in either book or movie. You don't see anyopne with a laurel wand appear to be really lucky or a guy wandlessly casting something only to have it get fucked against someone casting with a wand. Hell, with the "rules of engagement" shit about wands near the end of the series it's also disappointing that we never run into a "swordcollector" type character for wands, where they run around challenging people to take their wands and add them to his or her collection.

Yes, Gryffindor wins at the end of every year.

So Hogwarts is on the shittier end of the magic world? Who is the highest or shown to be on the higher end? US? Japan?

Anyone can cast spells with any wand, it’s just more ideal with the right one.

For starters, no more shitting on the floors or orgies.

Yeah but you don't even see that in action. You don't for example, see Ron cast engorgio on his dick and have it only increase an inch due to having a less than ideal wand, while Harry gets a monster cock because his was just right.

Come now user. Wizards might be culturally backwards but they're not savages. They all know not to shit in orgies, it's the ultimate party foul.

The school itself supposedly has some of the brightest minds tutoring, but the British wizarding government is completely incompetent.

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How are the points distributed

Through pointless, arbitrary means.

It's supposed to be based off of how well/poorly someone in the house behaves, but points are arbitrarily handed out or removed based off of the teacher. It's why you get shit like this - youtube.com/watch?v=7iGTlfmjtQU

Because even if you try your best all year and your actions PROVE that your house really is just shat on based off of reputation and not on action, you're fucked if the other house has the right friends.

I personally prefer this edit, which captures it all the better.
youtube.com/watch?v=351Aa5q_S98

Who's Dumbledore

The friend you have who is an admin in some game/server so he gives you free shit/ignores issues involving you and bans the other guy(s) instead.

A gay wizard who fucked gay wizard hitler in the ass and then sent him to wizard prison to live out the rest of his days being sucked off by dead bodies.

>slytherin is supposed to exemplify ambition
>slytherins are lazy fuckheads who sit on their family laurels and half of them are dimwitted meatheads.

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Reminder that Snape was blatantly biased and there was evidence of him repeatedly and arbitrarily docking points off other houses, while ignoring anything Slytherin did that would result in point loss.
It’s likely dumbledore dropped the H bomb because he was sick of Snape’s shit

The guy who threatens to expel you for breaking school rules for putting people in danger trying to break dangerous curses going around the school, while also not being at said school to help, with all the other staff incompetent and who do nothing.

Are huffingglues the only ones to represent their house attributes right?

Considering that Hufflepuff doesn't have any traits to speak of, yeah.

Ambition is only one of the traits Slytherin selects for, and the most prominent one. He also favors cleverness, resourcefulness, and fraternity. Meaning if you came from a family of Slytherins, you're predisposed to being in Slytherin yourself. This caused a feedback loop that furthered pureblooded mentality throughout the ages, until Voldemort was defeated and Harry and friends made modifications to the sorting hat to remove this trait, allowing more muggleborns to be selected for Slytherin based on the other traits and stamping out the clique that breeds dark wizards like Voldemort.

>citing cursed child shit
What about the clique that breeds Dark wizards like Peter Pettigrew, Patricia Rakepick, and Cedric Diggory and Grim Fawley?

Whens my dad coming back

How much of the series would have changed if Dumbledore actually just mentioned once, even in the slightest, to the snape that he should stop being such a cunt to him? Possibly guilting him over the notion that Snape was shitting on Lily's memory by being such an ass?

>stamping out the clique that breeds dark wizards like Voldemort
The one that makes witches rape muggles with love potions for years? Why isn't Zonko in Azkaban if that's the case?

And the other teachers did the exact same shit, which, in theory, was supposed to balance it out. But it always ends up the same way.

>Hufflepuff! 278 points!
>Ravenclaw! 347 points!
>Gryffindor! 382 points!
>Slytherin! 418 points!
>WELL DONE, SLYTHERIN, WELL DONE! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEVER!
>Hermione is smart! 10 points to Gryffindor!
>Ronald Weasley replaced his broken wand! 5 points to Gryffindor!
>Neville's grandma sent me some very delicious cookies for christmas! 15 points to Gryffindor!
>And lastly! Harry Potter! He broke multiple rules this year, nearly killed his friends, lied to the staff, traded banned magical objects, killed small animals with rocks when he thought no one was looking, and had his penis touched by voldemort! But despite this, he has shown incredible resourcefulness and bravery, therefore 50 points to Gryffindor!
>The winner of this year's house cup is GRYFFINDOR! With an amazing 462 points!
>*everyone cheers, even the losers, because at least Slytherin didn't win*

Obviously it won't stamp out ALL dark wizards, since they can come from any house. But a damn good portion of them came from Slytherin, and this cuts off the primary head. If there's just as many muggleborns in Slytherin as in the other houses, then you can't use Slytherin as a rallying point for purebloodedness anymore.

No they didn’t. McGonnagal in particular was very fair with her own house outside Quidditch, and we never see Flitwick or Sprout deliberately sabotaging other houses/favouring their own. We do see the reverse, as they’re not averse to rewarding points to other houses when deserved.

Purebloodedness was never a factor though, just shitting on muggles. Snape was Voldemort's left hand with Nagini as his right, and Snape literally called himself the "half-blood Prince". Besides, thanks to Rowling fucking with the lore, Salazar and Voldemort were right anyway.

Well done Slytherin, well done...
"To all Gryffindors... Cheers. Cheers, my friends. It has been an honour. Cheers!"

Dumbledore fixes his eyes on the Slytherin table, completely ignoring Ravenclaw and the other one

"Now Slytherin... I know we have had our differences, but your ambition and hard work is truly something to behold. Admirable!"

the Slytherins are cautious. Dumbledore usually follows up a praise with some humiliation and injustice

"Indeed, I have a special treat for you all because of these traits. It's so good, that you'll love it despite its Muggle origin. It is a large apparatus which all of you can fit in which will confer all of you a deeply unique experience that shall benefit us all. A chamber of sorts. I have had that room over there fitted with the apparatus. Move along, children, shuffle into it now. You too, Snape*

the Slytherins flood into the room, some cautious and some excited

Dumbledore slams the door shut and enchants it to be locked and airtight. He turns to the other houses

"And that special treat? That "unique experience" the Slytherins shall all experience and you all won't?*

"...Why, it's... DEATH! FUCK SLYTHERIN! THE FINAL SOLUTION TO THE SLYTHERIN MENACE BEGINS NOW! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, TURN ON THE GAS! YES, YES, WELL DONE, SLYTHERIN! WELL DO E SLYTHERIN FOR DYING SO WELL! SIX MILLION POINTS TO A HOUSE THAT SHALL CEASE TO EXIST IN 5 MINUTES!" He said calmly

as Dumbledore's mouth foams during his blood-crazed tirade, the hall erupts into applause and a massive, inter-house orgy ensues. The Slytherins begin dying in the gas chamber. As Malfoy chokes on his own blood, Harry proves himself to be a sexual dominant member of the orgy

Dumbledore looks on with pride

*Years later Harry Potter tells recounts these events to his son, Albus, with Ginny smiling warmly at the memory.

"And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend"

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>Besides, thanks to Rowling fucking with the lore, Salazar and Voldemort were right anyway.
explain

The issue that made them dark wizards is outstandingly obvious. It's because they're discriminated against just because some major bad villains happened to be from there. But also, Merlin, considered to be the greatest wizard of all time, was from Slytherin. People treat them like shit because "Woooooooooow your house founder was a dick and left the school, and because wooooooooooooooooooooow you had a wizard terrorist whose only crime - the most evil of all crimes mind you, tried to expose the wizarding world to muggles. And hooooooooooooooooooooooly shit let's not forget about voldemort! That fucker was seriously mentally ill and tried to kill all non purebloods! That must mean you're all just like those three very bad men and therefore we'll treat you as such. Have fun trying to find anyone outside of your own house that won't treat you like absolute shit you potential would be killer."

Muggleborns are no longer just muggles spontaneously having a magic kid, it's now because somewhere up along their family tree they have a squib ancestor. Sirius in Order goes and lectures Harry about how there isn't really any "pure blood" families, they all are just like the Black family tree where the muggles they fucked and married, the squibs that were birthed, and other such undesirables are just crossed out of the tree, giving it the image of being "pure". Given the explanation for how muggleborns come to be, it's not at all an unreasonable conjecture that the opposite of it is true : where a squib born of two magical parents is caused by having a muggle further up in the family tree.

Yes, so? That doesn't change the pureblood mentality, which is what Harry and friends were trying to stamp out. Or else the Death Eaters wouldn't be a thing.

It isn't, but it shifts the story from "the good guys win and everyone lives happily ever after" to "the bad guys win and wizard kind is extra fucked".

No? I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. Even Arthur Weasley says that if wizards hadn't married muggles they'd have gone extinct. The bad guys wanted to persecute against muggleborns and muggles and only allow pureblooded wizards to "have magic". Pureblooded families producing crossed-off squibs and secretly fucking muggles on the side doesn't help their mentality, it just introduces more potential wizards into the population later.

Perhaps at some point there will be enough magical people that the statue of secrecy will no longer be needed. But we also know from the Dursleys that the magical gene can be destroyed too. None of their kids will be wizards.

and yet you have people like crabbe, goyle, malfoy, and the rest of malfoy's crew doing the exact same stereotypical shit that gets them hated and furthers into their dark wizard pureblood slytherin clique, from the very beginning. its a negative feedback loop, and killing the stereotype is what harry wanted to do

Voldemort was fucking stupid and was genuinely mentally ill. Grindlewald just wanted to expose wizards to the muggles and let the truth guide the way. Salazar just wanted muggleborns out of hogwarts because he didn't trust them, which implied that at some point in history, muggles were aware of wizards and actively tried to exterminate them, which forced wizards in to hiding. And he was afraid that if word got out that wizards were still alive, muggles would go on another wizard killing crusade.

>Even Arthur Weasley says that if wizards hadn't married muggles they'd have gone extinct.
Hagrid was the one that erroneously said that. He also said that not a single dark wizard ever didn't come out of Slytherin, this is despite living in a world where Sirius Black, a Gryffindor, was considered the dark wizard that lead to the death of Harry's parents when in fact it was Peter Pettigrew, yet another Gryffindor, that did.
In either event, Hagrid is a retard and it just wasn't biologically possible for that to happen. From the given lore the wizarding population in the 90s consisted of 1/10th of the world population. Given that the world population in say.. 1990 was 5.3 billion, this meant that you had 500 million wizards world wide. That's way too huge a population to go extinct like Hagrid says. Given that the UK only had 3k he might have meant that wizards there would have gone extinct, but they could have solved that by expanding their horizons abroad, like Bill banging a French witch.

>Muggleborns are no longer just muggles spontaneously having a magic kid, it's now because somewhere up along their family tree they have a squib ancestor
Voldermort did nothing wrong then, is he gay yet?
Someone post that /pol/ copypasta about wizard blood purity I need to read it again now

Salazar didn't want muggleborns in Hogwarts because he feared that all the mugglefucking would end up weakening magic. Given the turd that Rowling dropped on the nature of muggleborns, he wasn't exactly wrong.

Slow your roll there, lad. Let's not forget that Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were all FORCED in to being evil by their parents. And their parents were literally forced in to it because a deranged mentally ill killer was forcing them to act that way or be killed.

Let's not forget that Malfoy never wanted to be a killer. He even wanted to be friends with Harry, but got off on the wrong foot. And before he could try again, Harry was told by literally everyone that Malfoy was evil just because. And Harry believed them. Slytherin actually HELPED people flee hogwarts through the secret passages in the dungeon during the battle of hogwarts. Only a handful of slytherin students fought against hogwarts, and they were forced in to it by the literal crazy wizard threatening to kill everyone in their family if they didn't.

>release DLC annually for 6 years.
Seasonally, not annually.
Unless you've got one hell of a game, they're going to get bored during the wait. Plus, the console might not last that long.

The pasta is shit because it goes on about the fanfic tier magical power levels, when the reality of it is just the on/off switch would lean more towards off.

It doesn't. There's not enough info. He's at least 100 years old. He could easily had a family and got involved in war againg Grindelwald because one of his children/wife got killed. That's why he became a teacher and a headmaster. Students remind him of his only child that died. This easily fits into canon

>even wanted to be friends with harry
Wanted to get some early social networking in. Malfoy didn't want to be friends with Harry, he wanted to be friends with Harry Potter.

Bit of both actually. When Voldemort died the remaining Death Eaters at large thought that Harry was the second coming of the Dark Lord or a second even more powerful Dark Lord waiting to happen. Draco, weaned on "good old days" stories by Lucius, wanted to see what the big deal was as well as please his father so he took it upon himself to befriend Harry. As the years went on he grew envious of what he was seeing with Harry Ron and Hermione. It wasn't like Crabbe and Goyle who were friends with him because he could hook them up. He wanted to have a piece of what Harry and the other two had, which was genuine friendship.
Of course this is all Cursed Child shit so you're free to ignore it if you want.

Fuck no. I didn't eat shit as an infant.

Malfoy was an abused child willing to do anything to get his father's approval, which in turn would gain the approval of the psychopath holding his family hostage. You know full well Malfoy would have been Harry's lackey if it meant his entire family wouldn't be killed.

>he wanted to be friends with Harry Potter.
Well that's how pretty much everyone started except Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna bless her autistic heart.
Even Ginny probably started off at "Holy shit, Ron's hanging out with Harry freaking Potter. HOLY SHIT HE'S SITTING IN MY KITCHEN."

Reminder that Lucius Malfoy literally got away with everything.

Cursed Child is pure kino for anyone who has an ss fetish

That isn't My Immortal.
youtu.be/Ffh7cWRrqF4

What is there to suggest that malfoy was abused by his parents until the big V showed up?

>Even Ginny probably started off at "Holy shit, Ron's hanging out with Harry freaking Potter. HOLY SHIT HE'S SITTING IN MY KITCHEN."
That's exactly what she did.
>grow up hearing stories about a kid who killed an evil wizard as a baby and survived a killing curse
>brother makes friends with him
>hear all about it from letters during the year and during breaks
>don't believe it
>see its all actually true
>immediately want to capitalize on it

I mean fuck, was there any girl in harry's life besides hermione who didn't want to hook up with him simply because he was famous?

>Even Ginny probably started off at "Holy shit, Ron's hanging out with Harry freaking Potter. HOLY SHIT HE'S SITTING IN MY KITCHEN."
Culminating in "HOLY SHIT I'M SITTING ON HIS DICK"

Only, and ONLY because his wife wasn't a colossal retard and turned on Voldemort because Harry told her Draco is alive. The other Death Eaters were rounded up and sent to Azkaban. Lucius and Narcissa were pardoned specifically because of Narcissa's actions that lead to Voldemort's defeat.

Cho and Luna were both pretty chill.

Not making it.

>was there any girl in harry's life besides hermione who didn't want to hook up with him simply because he was famous?
Molly

>I mean fuck, was there any girl in harry's life besides hermione who didn't want to hook up with him simply because he was famous?
Luna

And that's one reason why she's the best girl.
Another being that Irish lilt that makes my heart melt.

That's what happens when you're blackmailed in to servitude and have a really retarded judicial system to back it all up.

It's implied he was very violent whenever he got upset, hence why malfoy never wanted to piss him off. And as long as he was appeasing his father's good graces, he got plenty of affection and pretty much anything else he wanted.

I'll give you luna, but Cho was totally rebounding on him and was a total attention whore.

>AU where Arthur dies from the snake attack and Harry nails Ron's mom.

Attached: Give her the Baron.jpg (411x340, 42K)

>first movie shows all these neat magical items and general things that kids would think are the bomb
>everything after is super basic unless a special item pertaining to the plot
I need more general cool shit. Show me more of those special cards in the chocolate frog packs, show me more stores down the road. I need magic that's not about the main fucks. Hell, give me some Pagemaster kind of shit with crazy paint dripping down and forming waves of paint serpent things.

Funny how completely ignorant muggleborns adjust rapidly to the magical world and even become geniuses by its standards while even the most brilliant wizards can barely comprehend the muggle one.

Wouldn't ya say.?

Attached: Uncle Saltporker says No post on sundays.jpg (313x228, 11K)

to be fair, you probably have to be a bit harsher with punishment when everyones a bit of a demi god

The only thing Cho ever did wrong was fall back on Harry as a rebound guy after Cedric ate shit gawking at a portkey like a small child. Harry blew it up by constantly ree'ing about Cedric in the end, which is ironic.

Hermione's just a nutcase.

Luna is literally perfect waifu material. I actually first started going out with my ex because of how much she looked like her.
>tfw no quirky ditzy magical gf

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Cedric was considered the most popular guy in school. Harry was the most famous, but Cedric was the most popular. Cho was a literal fame whore.

Incoming posts about her moonface and massive weight gain

>Luna will never bounce up and down on your dick, eyes locked unblinkingly on yours while still maintaining that vague, airy and distant look on her face.

Pretty sure they both fell in because they were a pair of quidditch autismos who only got in the mood if the sex involved a golden snitch

Don't forget when she bites her bottom lip, user. That's the best part.

Is anyone else playing this Wizards Unite game?
I'm only doing it because my gf got me into it and I'm determined to stay ahead of her.
What's the point of the friend code thing?

She'd also need to be gasping out wild claims of snargleluffs or something pouring out of your ears and spickletarts niggling at her bumhole

>tfw innocent witches has been going on since 2016 and we've only gotten a blowjob from ginny thus far and a quick fuck from mcgonagal
>tfw it'll be another 3 years before any of the main girls get any action outside of flashing.

Yeah, that's a real shame, but she'd do well to get a mic for ASMR.

Just stick to modded Witch Trainer for now.

I would, but WT kinda sucks.
>Shitty luna route
>Instead of doing proper daphne, they've replaced her with a shitty loli that they're aging up because of reasons
>cho's route sucks
>can't have a proper susan route without dealing with the shitty loli
>terrible CGs and is just glorified dress up

What is the single worst plot hole or hack writing in HP? To me it's the retarded ad hoc "lol cant make food with magic btw" thing Rowling introduced in some later book. It's so obvious she hadn't thought about it and decided to just come up with any bullshit excuse to explain the plot hole. IMO she should have just ignored it among all the other logical loopholes present in the world.

Harry was if anything less autistic about these things than you would expect considering his early childhood.