Tfw too sick for school too sick for video games becomes a reality

Imagine you hypnotize your mom and tell her to make you a sandwich haha!

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you would forget you're sick, it's a foolproof plan

Babby's first milf. Fap to better characters, pleb.

I feel you fellow sick bro

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>tfw in the middle of an allergy attack or flu
>tfw had to call into work sick
this is a stress I never thought possible to feel
why does taking a day off for a perfectly legitimate reason feel so bad?

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What a strange scenario to think of in a thread like this.

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I remember once, I think I was about 14, it's a raining a lot and my father said I could stay home, but dumbass me refused to and went to school anyway.

because American corporate culture has. brainwashed you into thinking that you and your company are hand in hand.

Tfw wanted to bang my mom when I was 10 and she was a hot late 30s, now I'm almost 30 and she's a not hot mid50s I don't feel any of that anymore. Then I see wedding pics of my mom and dad and want to bang my mom again.

Just me?

Boy have I got the perfect anime for you

okaa-san online

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i haven't been sick in over a year.. scary. when it hits I'll probably die

>not getting a flu shot

Lmao

>getting the gubbermint mandated """""""""flu"""""""" shot
>thinking that's actually a flu shot in any form

Yikes my dude.

I'd like to think that you're so resistant to normal illnesses, that when one gets through it hits you like a brick.
Kind of the same with me, I rarely get sick but when I do I usually have to take leave for 2-3 days. Literally too sick for video games, I just sleep in the whole day.

Too sick for school, too sick for games was always a reality. You were just faking it and your mom knew.

>he watches Russia Today

Oh no no no no

There's no way they'll actually do anything, so what's the point? You'll just get blueballed.

just checked. it wasn't one year.. its been almost three years. I don't know how ive been staying so healthy but now I'm worried. aren't you supposed to get sick sometimes to keep your immune system up? check out my tonsils from the last time I was sick tho

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Is this unironically good?

>Tfw wanted to bang my mom when I was 10 and she was a hot late 30s
Elaborate

>tfw raised by single mom
>she didn't care what I did
>let me have parties and smoke inside
>didn't care if I went to school

It was a pretty good childhood until my mom started fucking my friends.

I was a very horny 10yo that used to masturbate to my mom and my female teachers (even while at school, locked in the toilets). Not much else to it.

Elaborate more.

Is this mom ntr kino?

Elaborate

You masturbated at 10!? The fuck...

At this age all I could think about was Pokemon.

elaborate on my mom fucking my friends?

Also first fap at 10 here, can confirm

Lois and Hal were fucking morons who deserved everything bad that happened to them.

>have more kids than their meagre salaries can afford and they can handle
>abusive in several different ways (emotionally, financially, sometimes physically)
>bank on the one of their kids who isn't virtually useless to somehow work his way and become President of the USA, so he can fix all their self-inflicted problems for them (a plan that essentially requires making him miserable)
>the entire family except Malcolm is let in on this plan
>Lois has Malcolm's entire life planned out for him, sabotages a career opportunity that would derail her plan but set Malcolm up with a cushy high-paying job right out of high school (something every post-recession parent would love their children to have)
>exploits his arrogance to manipulate him into going along with the plan when he finds out

Malcolm should become president just so he could get Lois and Hal sent to Gitmo instead.

I started very early and would orgasm with my tiny shota peeny for years without seeing any semen, it actually took me by surprise when I started needing tissues.

I started at around 9 or 10 but I didn't really know what I was doing, just that it felt good.

Once in highschool I spent an entire week in bed because of a virus and I barely could blink.
Shittiest week in my life, getting lectured to death in school was better than tha shit

>At this age all I could think about was Pokemon.
that unfortunately lead to the masturbating

PURE
AND
TEENY

>orgasm with my tiny shota peeny for years without seeing any semen
God that was the best. No cleanup or dirty clothes.

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But you survived so it couldn't have been that bad.

Well I guess thats explains a lot about Yea Forums.

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If you're not a chronic masturbator then get the fuck out of my board.

I've tried, but whenever I get bored enough I end up coming back to this shithole.

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Fuck off normalfag.

...

I don't masturbate that much, I just started early.

...

IMAGINE
THE
SMELL

>mom isn't some hardcore MMO veteran in disguise, she's just typical anime milf #1539

Brush your tongue you fucking animal, holy shit.

what the FUCK
Is that what happens to your tonsils when you get really sick? I’ve never checked. Jesus fucking christ.

>Amberlamps

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>all these plebs who didn't start masturbating until they were 10

six.

10 or 11 here, don’t remember.

Masturbating that early is not normal, you were exposed to something pretty sexually significant during that time. Did you have a slightly older, slightly more curious friend? Abusive parents? A drunk uncle?

Used to get sick all the fucking time as a kid, especially winter-related sicknesses, so now i never get sick anymore.
I miss being tired from sickness and laying in bed/playing vidya. Shit is comfy as fuck.
You don't know how good you have it.

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I was given unsupervised and unrestricted internet access at a young age.

>Sei! wake up!
>if you dont wake up you'll be late!

doesnt happen when you're sick. it just happens.

i used to get tonsil stones all the time, they smelled pretty horrific.

I jerked my big toddler wee wee when I was 4 to a Madonna video you beta

Yeah yeah, you can read japanese, we can't. Now stop boasting.

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You had shit taste. Madonna has always been for plebs.

I was looking up felicia and misty hentai at age 10 on dial up

>amber lamps
where did the time go?

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I got your joke user

My parents were never home to keep track of what I did, I also played with my aunts body when she was "asleep" while I would spend a couple nights there

sadpanda link?

>isekai
Of course not.

>I also played with my aunts body when she was "asleep" while I would spend a couple nights there
GREENTEXT
N O W

I remember when tropical storm fay was hitting florida, and my folks made me go to school in the middle of it. All of my neighbors had parents who let them sit in thier cars until the bus came, except for me.
Thanks for reading my blog.

It was what the guy said after getting his shit pushed in, IIRC his lips were busted.

Always thought this phrase was just to make me think that being sick with the flu or whatever is not just free days of school. Now when i'm struggling with anxiety and heavy depression its nearly impossible to actually play or enjoy vidya, nor anything really much.

Not much to green text due to it not being a full story but she would always sleep in booty shorts a d a tank top with no bra, my uncle worked night shift and slept during the day so would just slip my hand into her clothes and explore her body when I was young
Sometimes I'd forget to pull her cloths back into place so I'm sure she knew i was touching her at night largely becuase we always shared a bed

Lucky bastard. Ages?

I was young enough to start being curious about the female body, didnt help that I had full access to the internet at home without any supervision so I liked up alot of porn in internet explorer due to my parents using the AOL browser

WHAT AGES ASSHOLE
I'M ALREADY MAD ENOUGH THAT I NEVER HAD A GOLDEN CHANCE LIKE THAT

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>he can get sick
H O W ?
O
W
?

Why did you call in sick? You won't get paid if you stay home. I went to work after getting food poisoning once, I couldn't even drink water without throwing up and everything worked out fine.

6 here
step it up

I think I started at 11

Depends where you live.

>You won't get paid if you stay home.
God bless amerikwa

...

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I missed the last gathering of the cabal, what witchery is this?

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You shouldn't go and heavily risk contaminating others with your sickness. I wish it wasn't socially acceptable to go to school/work sick because that's exactly how small outbreaks create.
Having the whole office get sick because of a single retard must not be a pleasing thing.

...

>Yea Forumsros
No. Kill yourself and choke on it

Choke on what now?

...

Choke me, daddy.

damn 8 here

literally just rubbed my dick against soft things and it felt good

Hey I did the same! It was my niece (was older than me) but whatever. She pretended to sleep while I tongue kissed her. I can say I am not a kissless virgin thanks to her, just a virgin.

I just noticed that rubbing my dick against things feels nice.

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>be genuinly sick
>have to make it really clear to my mother that I do not have a headache and i am not dizzy otherwise I am not allowed to play video games or watch tv
Good times

19, I grew up very sheltered and I thought mastrubation was some kind of an internet joke until I happend to find out by accident that its real

How old are you?

Nonsense, having a sick person get others sick inoculates them from further illness. Like with chickenpox. The illness puts hair on your chest and strengthens your immune system, the same way you exercise to keep your body strong. If you hardly ever get sick you'll die when you catch something like the common cold.

this one not as well as the three (3) pokemon shitposting threads on the front page alone

really makes you think,huh?

30 now

18 here. I attended a church-school so for years I felt bad about getting the urge to do it. After I graduated, I finally did it for the first time. It felt great.

Unless he’s working in fast food or something, you get paid sick days here.

People should get sick and heal in other places than workplaces. Having to work while being sick sucks.
Little rats make sure to never develop any resistance and then go on to spread their little diseases everywhere they go.

How small are your dicks? Faggots.