>Be me >1998 >9 at the time, grounded >Snuck into Mom and Dad's closet to play some Kirby on my Gameboy >Hid myself pretty well so they couldn't find me (they thought I was outside) and the door had slats you could see through if you look up >Mom and Dad run in laughing and shit and I got curious >start watching >my best friends mom and dad run in and put on intimate music and get naked >WhatTheFuck.mp3 >They start using dildos and got kinky >I saw my Mom and Dad's holy land and it looked worse than Syria on a Tuesday afternoon >My neighbors were so much worse >I felt like Solid Snake trapped inside for my own survival but instead of watching for guards, I was stuck watching my Mom, Dad and neighbors doing the spread eagle >At 9 >Years >Old >My Mom opens the door to get what I assumed were balloons >it was a roll of condoms >My Mom, Dad and the neighbors noticed me and just stared in silence as I was sitting on a box of fucking condoms as I played Kirby on my gameboy >MFW
It's kind of weird, yeah. If I had kids I'd only have sex when I was fully aware of the location of the children. If they have a chance of being awake and around then it's not safe to fuck since kids are dumb and barge in without thinking or knocking, and even if you lock the door you still need to awkwardly explain what "all that noise" was about, especially if the kid thought moans, grunts, gasps, etc. were signs that daddy was bullying mommy behind closed doors or something.
Mason Collins
And then the condoms clapped.
Dominic Kelly
and then I pull out my GUN
Jaxon Jackson
Let me clarify something, since I feel I was vague. When I say I would only have sex if I knew where the kids were, I mean things like them being nextdoor playing video games with other children their age, staying over at a friend's overnight for a sleepover, getting babysat at home while mom and dad enjoy a love hotel or a tryst in the backseat behind an abandoned building, or, well, yeah, anything like that. I need to know the kids won't just show up unexpectedly. This is why they would be enrolled in aftercare so dad can get some afternoon delight from mom.
Camden Wood
u see that's why u won't have kids kids are for people who don't think about consequences
You're probably right, since I am pretty risk-averse. Still, I'unno, I've had steady relationships consistently ever since my teens so I'm doing okay enough to make myself happy, but I get where you're coming from.
Jaxon Kelly
Why is it always Kirby?
Daniel Carter
Owning kirby or yoshi games as a child was a litmus test to see if you'd turn out normal by not playing said game series.
>around 9:00 pm >couldn't find my pokemon cold cartridge >walk into parents room >mom have you seen... >saw my dad's ass going at it >leave >next day we all pretended it never happened
Carson Lee
LMAO! I HOPE BRENDANIEL READS THIS ONE ON YOUTUBE! ABSOLUTELY EPIC!!
>Mom and Dad run in laughing and shit and I got curious >>start watching >>my best friends mom and dad run in and put on intimate music and get naked
What kind of situation are we talking about here? A full four way? Or a typical swingers thing where the husbands watch the wivea play with each other and swap.
Do you talk to them about it ever.
Andrew Taylor
I can't tell if this is a thinly veiled MGS thread. Is your dad Volgin?
David Flores
What Kirby game was it?
Jeremiah Russell
it's always kirby who has to deal with this shit huh
Dominic Sanders
My parents would have sex while my sister and I were right there and wouldn't even try to hide it from us. I had no idea this was abnormal until I was a teenager.
Eli Turner
Kirby is for succ.
Oliver Butler
I thought maybe this was real until you mentioned Kirby
Sebastian Kelly
Not even a bel-air at the end?
Christian Jenkins
>Gameboy >Playable at all in a fucking closet And don't give me that SP bullshit OP the story is set in 1998. Get the fuck out.
It was already a reddit post the moment it started with “be me”. Leave it to those fucks to always start posting stories obviously about them selves yet still need to get that little self wank in.
William Johnson
>Long bus trip >Ask step mum to buy me Super Mario for Gameboy >She gets Kirby, but I'm still very grateful >Play for a bit on the bus >Suddenly, motion sickness >The smell of coffee, the sound of kirby
Now I feel sick whenever I play Kirby.
Sebastian Fisher
I was a massive poorfag child and mowed TWO lawns to be able to afford the spiral light accessory for my GBC to play pokemon yellow in the car at night.
Some poorfag children just have no work ethic. Pathetic.
Leo Fisher
But that's wrong. I had a light attachment and definitely didn't get in in japan.
Christopher Robinson
Based user BTFO'd OP's bullshit story
David Baker
The light attatchment isnt the same thing as the gameboy light which had a backlit screen built in and launched shortly before the gameboy color Only in japan
Robert Clark
Fuck dude is there any worse moment in gaming then trying to find your way through a cave that requires flash and all you have is this tiny ass light to see your gameboy with while your moms old van that desperately needs to be taken to the shop hits every bump and crack in the road while she jerks the steering wheel around and you start to feel car sick
