You wouldn't

Nah you're right I wouldn't. She actually has depth as a character and becomes the best looking romance option in ME3 after they gave her hair and slimmed down her jaw.

Because 9 years ago you were barely an adult and Tali is like a teenage girl, while Miranda is a more mature woman.

>replaying the trilogy
>decide to romance Jack since I developed a boner for punk chicks
>bang her
>didn't know that this locked you out of her romance
>mfw

there was no reason to romance in 1 because you're supposed to be too busy saving the galaxy
in 2 things are different since now you're just a cerberus operative might as well do what you want
and 3 you stay faithful to her because that's the right thing to do and she turns her life around for good

>Samara
Why would they give me such a MOMMY character and then make it so I can NEVER FUCK HER

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All she says is "fuck off and die" for the rest of the game you can't romance her if you treat her like a thot

Because since then (((they))) have been pushing Blacked.com so now you're attracted to coal burners

I don't watch porn though.

(((small))) (((white))) (((penis)))

I creampie

I think almost nobody knows that she used to be with Jacob, in part because almost nobody remembers Jacob existed.

Nothing happens with her in ME3. There are like 3 lines of dialog in the entire game with her, it's pathetic.

>she literally asks if this is just for sex and no feelings

Are you an idiot?

My second favorite kind!
First is small asian

I bet you reversed Ai Ebihara's social link too.

Get these trashbag hos outta my face, I gotta galaxy to save. Leave your lovey dovey shit at the door.

It's pretty decent in the Citadel DLC though.

Jack is so hot, holy shit. Where are the fucking Jack roleplayers? Post your fucking discords.

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I WOULDN'T?!

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Well, he was rebuilt after burininating in orbit. So I guess cyberdicks aren't very pleasant to touch.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I can't

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You don't think I will?.. You don't think I will?

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Well then, flip a coin

Would I?!

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Jack is the best. She's physically and biotically a match for shep. She also processes her feelings in a pretty normal way despite her fucked up journey, giving her a real feeling of development. She trusts shep and gets close to him but she's never a puppy dog who gets broken up without him. Plus she's verifiably maternal and the only LI shep can produce human biotic superbabies with. Radioactive dust notwithstanding.

No, Director Boyle, I won't use the damn LT bomb. Now please stop distracting me from fending off endless waves of alien space bugs and Nod fanatics.

>She also processes her feelings in a pretty normal way
Uh

For a renegade, she's not a great match for a paragon.

C&C3 had such a great cast but it was so shit.

It's not fair.

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>romance the shit out of Miranda because fuck tattooed fuckup Jack and kawaii uguu Tali
>she's both hot and charismatic
>suddenly I find out about the comic from Yea Forums
Why didn't ME2 give me an option to Virmire Jacob like the cotton picker that he is?

>miranda
>hot and charismatic
>tattoos bad
Jacob may not have any screen time or a personality but he plays the important role of ntring anyone stupid enough to romance him making him the secret hero of the team.

>but it was so shit
No. It was a pretty bad sequel when it comes to preserving what TibSun achieved and improving upon it, in every aspect (gameplay advancements, map design, lore). If it was a separate game, with separate campaign, explicitly separate gameplay style ("lead an elite GDI squad through blah blah", "rally the scattered Brotherhood faithful and topple the blah blah") and some McGuffin to explain why Tiberium behaves differently it would've received much warmer welcome.

I wanna take care of this tomboy and eventually marry her.

I want to teach her to open up, want to make her feel comfortable enough around me to let down her walls so she could relax.

I want to hold her hand as we lay stargazing on a grass hill and walk through verdant meadows.

I want her to know that it's us against all odds and kick alien ass until we're both old, rinkly and surrounded by grandchildren.

I love tomboys so much.

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>playing as a pussy moralfag when you can listen to Shep's spicy banter all game

No it wouldn't have. It was shit. Shit. Total shit. Trash. Stop being so desperate for being a contrarian that you have to defend actual shit.

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Fucking gross

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POST DISCORDS

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LIFE-LIKE

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What does Jack smell like?

Smells like Revy from Black Lagoon. She reeks of alcohol and cigarettes until you meet her in me3 where shes now that "cool" teacher where kids respect her.

No, he holds her in bed as she cries. He gives her the emotional support she needs to vent through all her trauma.

No

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Fuck it. Here's mine. Rang#8559.

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>big worgen cock
lmao fuck you faggot im not adding you

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It's weird how that sex scene is better than the one you get for properly romancing her.

That's amazing, what are the odds? If it helps to change your mind, I couldn't get a scene going with anyone who added me then.

I know she's got an image to maintain but was the stupid mohawk or however it's called haircut really necessary?

damn man, this picture oozes soul

I'm about to start playing the trilogy for the first time, any tips?

If you like RPGs and can tolerate first-person perspective getting in the way stop after 1. If you want a shooter you might even want to skip 1.

what does sex feel like bros?

bags of salty milk

I can understand that some people don't like her atypical hairstyles or being tatted, but she has the most perfect facial structure of any female vidya character.
>prove me wrong
>protip you cant

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Dr. Chocolates forever best girl.
Level-headed, undying loyalty to you and the crew, never judges, cracks one open with her CO.

Agree

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No

I literally cannot disprove facts

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Well, she's got that barcode tattoo around her head, so she's gonna want to keep showing that.

Personally, I liked her better bald.

Damn, here I came in here expecting some shit taste faggot to have made the first post and then I see something this based.

How can they fuck when they don't take their clothes off?

>ME - Ashley
>ME2 - Jack
>Never played ME3

I regret not sticking with Tali tbqh

i would berry my dick so far up her ass

Based, it's why I liked Morrigan in Dragon Age.
It did though.
>We need someone with tech expertises to enter this vent and override the doo-
>I'LL DO IT
Dumb fucking nigger shouldn't have volunteered if he wasn't up for it.

if you stay pretty neutral in the run up to the big dialogue she doesn't do the enraged "fuck off!" but just gives this neutral "we talked you're not interested we're good" thing
>spoiler
it still blows my fucking mind they actually did that to the dumb fucks who romanced him, and there were so few of them there was barely any controversy lmao
and the irony they did it with him is staggering
>not Liara
she's practically the canon option and is a pretty good romance, though jack is a good romance too.
Ashley though will never not be asspained at your time with cerberus regardless of your morality and only the most forgiving space jesus will keep romancing her

>Liara
>writers pet
Lmao

true but it also means the story makes more sense if you romanced her, even in just one. like all the shit she went through to get your corpse and gave it to cerberus so you'd be revived

Best girl, wish I could do pic related with her

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She's also boring as fuck and lacks a personality outside being the broker. She was most interesting in 1 as the naive alien nerd.

Her hair and outfit in 3 literally made all of her other bullshit worth it desu.

>She's also boring as fuck
your opinion but you can certainly believe that
>and lacks a personality outside being the broker
I disagree but I will say in 2 she's not a party member and her whole story is about hunting down the shadow broker so you have no chance to show off her character, while in three she suffers from the same problem as kaidan in that she doesn't have any personal issues (except when thessia "falls") and always was the quiet introvert so she is boring in comparison to other characters

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I cant remember what 12 year old me picked for this option

what comic?

clearly these devs were biased against mature, sophisticated women

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at least you get a pseudo romance with Samara in the Citadel dlc, Chakwas doesn't even fucking show up

>kaidan not homo in the first game
fucking cis bioware shitlords

She's one of the few girls that would actually look pretty good with that sidecut that games have memed so much about lately.

>Jack
>damaged tatted fucked 'n chucked trash
>Samara
>manjawed holier than thou roastie
LMAO @ ur entire existence

>Kaidan
>ME1
>tells you about this chick he was trying to nail
>tells you that he has dibs on Liara
>at no point in the game does he even insinuate that he was a pickle buffer

>ME2
>Kaidan is a pissy bitch

>ME3
>Kaidan gets his ass beat slightly
>later in the game he tells you that he wants to drink your dick

Fuck bioware, fuck their gay agenda, and fuck Canada while I'm at it.

Kaiden always had a faggot vibe and thus got nuked on wherever. Based racist Ashley is best Waifu

i always romance Jack, she's a sweetheart beneath the barriers she puts up

unironic agree, ME3 Jack was so underappreciated

Shame FagoWare made her into a plastic tranny in 3

I think Aria would have been a better potential love interest than Jack.

As someone who has never played ME before

If I buy the Trilogy on Origin what DLC should I get if any for the 3 titles?

...based

all of them, even pinnacle station in ME1 is fun

>Ashley
LOL you saved a fucking tranny from the nuclear of hell where it belonged

Bitch you're a gross. Nothing kills my boner faster than coming down here to look at you.

I legit would not. She is repulsive. She? Is that a girl? I can't even tell.

*nuclear flames

Have sex

DLC for 1 is free. So definitely get that.
As for the next games, it's bullshit how characters for the crew are locked behind paywalls, but the extra missions are definitely plenty good. Citadel DLC is just fanservice wank, but you might enjoy it.

Get Bring Down the Sky for ME1. For ME2 get Zaeed, Kasumi, and Lair of the Shadow Broker. Overlord and Arrival are okay, but not must-haves. Firewalker is pretty lame, honestly.

Tali is the best girl, don't even waste the energy trying to argue.

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just torrent them. you don't want to waste your money, and this is the point where you'll instantly regret spending money on the entire trilogy

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Tali was ultimately ruined in Mass Effect 3. She becomes a drunkard and a tramp who wants to get shit-faced and then have you fuck her in the parking lot after you all consume trash at Applebees. She's a basic bitch. She ain't worth your time. Just ditch her.

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Didn't you get to bang the Xeno-fucker in a boxcar at the Citadel?

Small dicks are perfect for blowjobs!

And pick who out of the literal dregs the rest of them are?

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fuck guys now I want to play mass effect but I can't find my cds

Just keep it professional. It is not right and proper to fuck your subordinates. Very poor leadership. Imagine that Shepard has someone not on the crew he is interested in. Invent your own waifu and fuck her instead. In your mind.

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I like a girl with nice cheekbones.

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I didn't romance Tali because Tali and Garrus getting together is cute

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> She becomes a drunkard and a tramp who wants to get shit-faced and then have you fuck her in the parking lot after you all consume trash at Applebees.
so true love?

Fuck that noise, I'm putting my ass on the line trying to save the galaxy, I demand space trim

>because Tali and Garrus getting together is cute
this statement, while true, is the lesser of two Goods
Tali is too great to pass up
t. romances Tali even when embarking trilogy replays with the intention of going for other chicks

muh dick

It's cringe as fuck and really gay, lame, stupid fan service.

Tali is a whore, just look at how she swings her hips

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and pissflaps

Post her porn search and nerve stimulant useage history

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Hell no. Ugly and with issues? Not in a million years.

Based