Official from Nintendo site. I thought the lite could use joycons

Official from Nintendo site. I thought the lite could use joycons

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what does HD rumble even feel like? I never used a switch before. How does it compare to regular rumble on other controllers?

Pretty sure you can still use them, they're just not included with the console. (The version built into the console are not called joy-cons).

Touch the cone of your speakers and play samples of different instruments like kickdrums and basstones

It's basically that.
It's just finer frequency of vibration than coarse frequency

So the Lite doesn't have gyro aiming?

it means that it does not include them out the box, it is still compatible with them however.
very few games use it, only one that really sticks out in my head in bing bing wahoo where it's used pretty effectively to convey the feeling of a motor engine when you're on that moped thing in newdonk city. mario also uses it to locate a few hidden moons via extremely sensitive rumble like a metal detector to locate a moon underground. So the technology is good, but it's so rarely used that I don't know why they bothered; I'm assuming it's hard to integrate it into games or something?

Ir motion is the infrared on the control. Gyro is in the console

You can connect Joy-Cons to it, but they aren't included, nor can you charge them from the Switch Lite. You'll need a Joy-Con Charging Grip or a third-party charger to charge the Joy-Cons.
Also, the Switch Lite doesn't have an inbuilt kickstand, so you'll also need to prop it up when using Joy-Cons.

Super Mario Party also uses it extensively, but it doesn't support Handheld Mode at all, so it won't run on the Switch Lite.

That's a list of stuff it comes with, they just engrished sshesshed it badly.

Also if you cant touch your speakers, just put a piece of paper over your mouth and make low pitch sounds into it and you should get a similar effect.