Fire Emblem Three Houses Thread: Hetero Edition

You'll be joining my house won't you my fellow heteros?

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Only if I can recruit Rhea and turn her exclusively straight

Why, yes. I'll be impregnating my wife lysithea. Let's kill the other houses with friendship and kindess.

>"""Golden Queers"""
>Doesn't actually have any gays
You anons better start apologising this very moment.

Why are gay looking guys always straight?

I find it hilarious that earlier today there was a bunch of threads trying to say how "gay" this game was and your usual "Resetera Bay bay" bait threads only for them to get hit by instant karma leaving all the Fujos and trannies mad that their favorite isn't a gay romanceable. Lets hope these Yuri options are good.

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what house do I choose to avoid all the queers?

Golden Deer, Blue Lion has a dyke, and Black Eagle can actually be a lesbian empire

>Gay girls look like the kind of girls lesbian mangaka draw
>Gay guys look like the kind of guys gay mangaka draw
I don't see the issue

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Except the dudes don’t look like that. Alois is close but he’s like bara lite. Gilbert looks like some ultra conservative dad who hasn’t fucked his wife since she gave birth to their fifth son 20 years ago. Lindhardt im still holding out on just for his timeskip design. It just not fair that the girl options are all either story relevant or well designed or both, and then we get THESE scraps.

To be fair you don't really know how story relevant Gilbert/Alois are. Obviously they won't hold a candle to Edgelord but Alois is meant to be an old friend of your Dad so he'll probably have some story relevance himself.

>I don't see the issue
3rd should've been Raph.

I mean maybe but we haven’t heard even a peep of them from actual Fire Emblem press unlike the others. All I personally wanted was at least one gay and lesbian option from each house. I mean I guess I should be happy there’s any at all but this is some monkey’s paw shit. Whatever I’ll probably still love the game anyway it’s not like I play it just for this.

My wife is in another house but she's straight, I'll play Golden Deers second and bring her with me.

>All I personally wanted was at least one gay and lesbian option from each house
I'd imagine that Gilbert/Alois will be universal to all routes since they're teachers, plus Linhardt can technically be a unit in your army regardless of which house you pick since he's able to be scouted but I do understand that it's probably disappointing that for the GD/BL none of them come baked into the house itself.

Says a lot about this franchise that this specific topic gets hundreds of fucking threads.

I think it's funny how before leading up to this reveal everyone was calling this a fujo game and now they're all proven wrong by this terrible lineup of gays. Yea Forums never knows shit.

I find it hilarious that the 3House "lords" go from teenagers, skip half a decade then actually end up visually maturing. Claude's sideburns fill in, Edelgard gets a titty upgrade.
Meanwhile, Bad Timeline Chrom has to be near his mid-30s if not nearing his 40s when he died, and still looks like he did as a 19/21 year old.
Maybe it's that Naga blood doing work despite all the stress and injury.

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This is seriously unfair. Why don't gay dudes get a pedobait option?

In a second playthrough. I have to go with Blue Lions first.

I've never actually considered that, huh. If I had to guess they probably forgot to give the animation company that particular detail. Not that it really matters all that much, honestly

Or maybe they just didn't want to create an older Chrom model just to use for a single scene. Plus given the importance of recreating the scene later, as with Chrom and Lissa in the epilogue with Robin having no brand on his hand, keeping visual congruity serves a purpose.

In fairness to the scene where Chrom and Lissa find Robing after he killed Grima, I don't think it's ever stated how much time has passed since Robin had killed Grima. Could have been as soon as a few weeks or months after as far as we know, I think. I'm also not sure about them not wanting to make an older Chrom model for one scene, as there's not really a whole lot of scenes to begin with, and the first cutscene is tenchincally two scenes anyways if you count the fight with Validar and then Robin killing Chrom. I suppose we'll never know, unfortunately.