How the fuck do you start playing this as a zoomer with no attentionspan?

dig low as much as possible, get adamantine, you must go really low
if you see pockets of void containing nothing, not even lava, they have huge quantities of adamantine so mine them down

you can't, frankly.

DF only appeals to people with rich imaginations, patience, and a sense of responsibility. all things that zoomers lack.

Stock up on Dexedrine etc, drink energy drinks and erase everything else on your computer.

Just do what the wiki says and spend a couple hours learning what things are. The most daunting aspect of DF is learning to navigate the UI, not so much actually playing or interpreting the graphics. One you learn the hotkeys your golden.

you just start and go from there

>it's an older version of a game that came out later

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And become a zombie the next day?

sure bud

I didn't know you were so literal user

>rich imaginations
aka autistic grind-whores
>patience
not enough to go for a jog or take a shower evidently
>sense of responsibility
my sense of responsibility also compels me to play video games for hours on end.

frankly, pal, you're a bullshitter.

Looks like I struck a nerve.

do you have brain damage

you need mental illness that makes you find enjoyment from micromanaging every little thing
but then you could just play games that let you do the same without massive rng factor

No, but obviously your mother did for not aborting you.

based boomer buster

This is confusing as fuck to read.
t.someonewithhundredsofhoursindorffort

What does patience have to do with going on a jog?

Literally nothing, he's frothing so bad he doesn't even know what he's talking about.

not really but it doesnt look complete either
I wouldnt recommend running fortress without soap
or wheelbarrows

jesus fucking christ I forget how retarded Yea Forums is sometimes
in case you actually want to learn how to play look up 51ppycup's tutorial on youtube and just play along
here's the first video:
youtube.com/watch?v=uXk_n0xvSOA

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>grind
>rng
Wanna know how I know you haven't played the game?

.

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Does that book help at all ?

probably not, it was published in 2012

the pdf is in /dfg/s OP
find out for yourself
the basics haven't changed since then

i brake funne rock

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DF, just like EvE, is one of those games that is really fun to read about, but completely a chore to play.

No because you can easily learn the game with the wiki, and if you can't then you're probably too ADD to read a book anyway.

did they release the steam version yet?

What for? The only reasons to get it are if you're too inept to install a tileset or if you want to support Toady's dying brother.

You get rimworld instead

I like to have a bigass library

Sure, if you enjoy having 5% of the content and no z-levels.

he isn't wrong to say it's a good way to approach dwarf fortress if you're afraid of it for a few reasons- basically any other games of the dwarf fortress "colony management" style genre can help someone get accustomed to the gameplay style and mentalities that go into such a unique type of game. I only played it after playing like every dwarf fortress ripoff I could find, but I did eventually love it.

You don't. If you can't invest a few hours to open the wiki and RTFM, DF is not a game for you.

bit of a reach there user

why is mouseclick that important to you? once you get the hang of the df shortcuts its much faster and more efficient

The funny thing is that you can install mouse support very easily, but these mongoloids are too dumb to figure out how.

How true is this Yea Forums?

Not at all but keep letting mouthbreathers formulate your opinions for you.

Is there some kind of macro-management mechanic that I'm missing? The game feels too micro-managey for me to enjoy. It's fun at first but then just becomes annoying to play. I'd rather play adventure mode but that's more of a proof of concept at the moment than an actual fun game, I feel like I'm better off just playing Nethack

let nobles micro your supplies so you don't have to tell people to keep chopping trees or fish or make x weapons

Sounds like someone struck a nerve

Is EVE an awesome game, too?

Yea Forums talking about df always does.
The game isn't 10% as hard to play as people make it sound but the reputation keeps people from trying one of my favorite video games.

Use workflow and a manager, brainlet. I don't get why people think that DF has a lot of micromanagement when most of it is actually afk.

they shouldn't even bother though, nu-Yea Forums is the same as op, retarded. They'd launch the game, look at the graphics and menus and quit

Sounds like someone struck a nerve

you're totally right. no patience is necessary to work on your body. there is no correlation. the fact that you're fat is due to no personal faults or foibles. it's all a coincidence!

>Sit through a 3-9 hour long youtube tutorial to learn how to wade through the spaghetti UI memorizing every single hotkey since using the mouse is Satanic lies.
>start new fort
>pour through the wiki on the countless ways for shit to fuck you
>if shit doesn't fuck you cats will fuck each other and exponentially reproduce whilst infecting Dwarves with toxoplasmosis so they all go insane when you take the millions of kitties on the verge of sending you tp learn how to make propedual motion machines with water and stuff
>listen to how X is cheating but Y is intended
>be forced to install Dwarf Therapist because Toady failed to make a decent job changing menu, but pinky swear you won't use it to cheat lol
>use a tileset then get assblasted by autists who want you to know what every single character means then die because you thought you were killing a squirrel, but it was a zombie elephant or something horrible
>get ready to pour through autistic chat logs to see what the fuck happened during that Goblin invasion and why do none of your dwarves have arms or teeth anymore
>find new ways to lose
>get banned by autistic fucks on /dfg/ on 4channel.org/vg/ for not producing legendary quality content
>draft a bunch of soapers, cheese makers, and fish disectors as cannon fodder
>maybe play the roguelike mode and just fuck around and do the 2 lines of code to turn Dwarf Fortress into a sex mod
>run into save corrupting bugs and reinstall everything and spend hours creating your world just right
>have everyone get killed by kobolds with wooden crossbows and copper bolts because fuck you
>lose many times
>genocide the elves and humans
>move on and play non-autistic games like Rimworld instead.

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read the wiki, just play it and experience it and then go to /dfg/ when you have questions

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sounds like you need to get good and stop being a whiny bitch

Sounds like you need to have sex.

i do regularly
with your mother

The drive for improvement isn't patience though, you dipshit. If anything, it's the opposite. A patient person would be content sitting on their ass, telling themselves they'll improve themselves some day. An impatient person would get up and go for a run to fix the problem now.

You're a bigger autist than anyone in this thread, and it's a thread about fucking dwarf fortress.

is that a dragon killing a bunch of goblins

She is dead.
And I embalmed her in nigger aids and ebola and anthrax fungues was growing in her.

She had some strange last wishes in her will.

multiple demons on the surface smacking shit out of goblins, was from the last /dfg/ succession fort

For all the shit Yea Forums gives it, EVE is a good game if you are into sandbox MMOs.

With a proper chain of work orders you can leave your fort almost completely unattended, with exception of animal butchering, strange moods and nobles' demands.

eve is the only decent MMO out there that has survived as long as wow because its the only real sandbox MMO, the rest are themeparks with limited content, in EVE, the people are the content

You're as retarded as the guy you're arguing with. Improving your body does require patience, as you don't see immediate results simply because you exercised for one day. You need discipline and effort to maintain the routine in the long term, especially since you're not used to it. Sitting in your ass requires far less effort and no test of patience as that's what you do all day.

I tried this once and stopped playing less than 3 minutes in. I spawn inside a tavern with blinking symbols and shit everywhere. Can't even figure out how to leave the place so I throw a dagger at some guy. A fight breaks out and guards storm the tavern and I'm greeted with 50 lines of text telling me I'm getting kicked in the arm over and over. The hyper-minimalist style doesn't suit me. Had to pass this one up.

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Learning by doing.
>start a fort with 50 plump helmet spawns
>make farm
>chop wood
>make carpenter shop
>make beds, tables, chairs
>dig down
>up/down stairsways
>dig bedrooms
>dig dining hall
>make Still and brew from plump helmets
>make shit like mugs, doors, chests that make your dwarves happier
You will now survive until either the first megabeast or invasion comes. A 5x5 farm with plump helmets can easily sustain 25 dwarves

b-b-but muh spreadsheets in space...
i want anime titties, not spaceships!

sounds like you played the shit mode, not the real mode

>playing the shitty adventure mode
>too dumb to look up controls

eve WAS a good game, it's garbage heading for the incinerator currently

I'd probably be equally confused in real mode.

This was the tutorial that was suggested to me when I got started back in 2012. It's pretty fucking good.

I'm not gonna spend 20 minutes reading how to play a game that's going to inevitably give me a fucking seizure.

I just start with different kinds of egg layers and lock them in rooms till they give birth, you basically get a fuckton of food from that point on. Plump helmet farms for booze as well.

That’s what older means user

imagine being this genetically weak that you get seizures

>not enough to go for a jog or take a shower evidently
funny my first recommendation to OP was going to be to shut off the computer and spend at least 2 hours outside every day for a whole week before even trying the game.

Why?

t. Someone who still plays EVE.

pay2win garbage skill extractor nonsense, nullsec the safest it's ever been, "Capitals Online" etc
it's just fucking garbage and the players that are left just want to pve for maximum isk ticks

Imagine being so autistic you play Dwarf Fortress and pretend to like it.

Good thing people actually like it then.

>>get banned by autistic fucks on /dfg/ on 4channel.org/vg/ for not producing legendary quality content
Are you the dorfbutt guy?

I'm glad you got banned.

Few and far between, I'd assume. This game seems like something people play because they want to feel extra special because they know how to maneuver the UI.

dfg was always the one general other than a handful of really specialist ones that was devoid of shitposters and now its been infected, i welcome the ban hammer, purge them.

>because they know how to maneuver the UI.
It literally tells you all the controls on the screen, do people really have trouble with them?

you sound super bitter and upset that you can figure out how to play lol nobody denys the UI is a hotmess and is the "hardest" and most frustrating aspect, its not a hidden secret. People like it for the tons of simulations and systems that operate in the game and interact and can lead to unique situations rather than cookie cutter A > B > C

I don't know.

I'm a mongoloid. Tell me how to install mouseclick?

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Alright, but I still think it sucks, so where does that leave us.

If you want to start playing games like this, start with
>The Sims
If you like that, move on to:
>Oxygen Not Included
If you like that, move on to:
>Rimworld
If you like that, move on to:
>Dwarf Fortress

There's probably other games to play in-between those, but to me that seems like a logical progression into more and more complex systems.

It's more like SS13 where everyone makes up wacky and zany stories and people complete misunderstand what the game is actually about

the stories often rely on you actually expiricing them, the details and pieces are there but you have to watch for them and feel them. SS13 stories are often true but you can only tell a good story from there if you pay attention and try and get all the information, same for DF. and just like DF controlling both can be a real pain unless you sink in hours so it becomes 2nd nature

No, some fucker came over to /rlg/ and bitched about a janigger going on a banning spree.

Really killed the vibe man.

The issue isn't really the validity of the stories, the issue is that the stories make people do dumb shit in the games, in the case of SS13, they start greifing and cry when they get banned, and in the case of DF, they get upset when nothing happens for hours

Why?

I used to play it a while back. Should I wait for the magic update before getting back into it?

you mean wait another 2-3 years?

Magic will arrive in 4-5 years. Good luck.