ITT : embarrassing vidya stories

it's ironic

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When I was 9, I stole my dad's credit card and, not understanding the concept of currency exchange rates, purchased AU$300+ worth of items.

For Adventure Quest.

I fucking love these

Rented copy of Alpha 3 and actually getting instructions instead of a pamphlet or some xeroxed to fuck shit. Ruining said instructions by busting to R. Mika while in the bathroom and realizing why I couldn't have nice things

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laughing at people with stage fright should be punishable by death

posting sad cats is illegal you fuckface, the fbi are on their way right now

I agree someone post more :)

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what kind of hell spawn would bully kittens?

noo

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put down the phone punk..

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Stop. This is making me miss my kots back in my home town more and more.

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I saw you post on a video game board.

You can't go get them?

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they'll be fine user

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DESPITE ALL MY RAGE IM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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i constantly get stuck in point and click adventure games because i'm blind as a deep sea fish

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I hate when couples do that... maybe that is why my gf broke up with me

I have spent over 300 dollars in my youth on dota 2 cosmetics.
At least I’ve been able to sell them for like 75% of the price I paid for them and use it to buy steam games

my favourite

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Who is your daddy, and what did he do?

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I think I went more than halfway through SotN without knowing you could change equipment.

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is there a happy version of this?

I want to push you down and noogie you just for that.

>cats
>happy

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based

...

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oh

For me, I fucking hate "lmao, what a hecking pupper doin me a bamboozle" shit.

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its all so tiresome... what kinda video games you guys having fun with?

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I live 4 hours away from my parents' place where they are.
I try to see them on the weekends but sometimes I just don't have time.
They're fine for the summer, my brothers are around to keep them company but it's when everyone's away at school that they're basically alone in the house

It happened again years later with aria of sorrow, only with the souls and quickly realized you could equip them.

That's some maximum zoomer twitter memester talk. It's cancer is what it is.

He was a CFO for an accounting firm, and what he did was nothing, I was just a shitbead child.

Shadowbringers

anyone have the picture with like 4 of these bluescreen messages progressively getting worse?

I've been raging at Splatoon 2 and slowly working my way through 街 〜運命の交差点〜 特別篇 on Vita (PSP version actually but it's playable on Vita)

I did similar but I pretended to be a girl who was ERPing and i'd send ass pictures from /soc/ to get free stuff and then ghost people immediately

vocaroo.com/i/s0G2tlOQgWAF

nothing
i have been doing nothing but uni shit the last week and i wanna die

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HOLY BASED

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Now THIS is what i call a quality thread

Recently bought the Arkham games, and despite the combat being meh, I'm still enjoying it more than I thought I would.

BASED

S-stop it guys, my bulgie-wulgie is getting excited!

Photoshopping sad cat face on everything is equivalent to wojakposting.

Also Mothergunship has been a lot of fun

kek

Kek my sides

Aaaaa~~

>be me
>never had a 64
>3ds remake of majora's mask announced
>heard good stuff about it
>pick it up
>play until you have to thaw out a passage to continue
>couldn't figure it out for shit
>days later, I finally see what to do

Still had a blast with it.

same, ive been dying doing fashion classes please end it I just wanna play games

h-hewoowo i-wowowo woiw aughwjhwiwo uuuuuuuh!

marry me...

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not really

this hits too close to home.
without the stifling and crying at least.
god i want to die

nice voice changer faggot

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shut up retard

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More sad CATS

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>leddit tranny cringe general

d-dont yell,..

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gf does it all the fucking time and she knows it pisses me off because now its a turn on.

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This shit just pisses me off to no end.
Are they even listening to themselves? What the fuck?

why are you turned on by retarded people

OwO-posting makes my pene hard
pwease hewlp OnO

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I would set every redditor on fire without any regret, it's just crying cat that cracks me up

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the fact it turns me on when a girl does it is verpy disspoitning to me too

We allowed women on the internet. It's our fault.

Oh ok

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uwu

Doggo and pupper in general make me want to swallow a railroad spike.

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The fact that the term "pupper" is used unironically by people I respect in some regards fills me with immeasurable disappointment and anger.

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LMAO

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I prefer the term deg

My hobby is petting doggos :)

Very nice

My friend talks like this sometimes, but he's pretty cute so I let it slide

LMAO
HOW THE FUCK IS STAGE FRIGHT EVEN REAL
LIKE HAHA NIGGA, STOP ACTING LIKE A FAGGOT
LIKE, JUST STOP LMAO

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>My little sister's nanny walks in

The only time she ever came in without knocking.

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Kill yourself, fag.

>not being turned on at the idea of your significant over talking to you in a overly loving fashion to show their love for you.

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Do cats actually tear up like this? Or do they hurt them to do so? or it's full Photoshop? What is going on?

>ywn raise tigers from birth so they have an extreme attachment to you and they trust you completely

IT'S NOT FAIR

my penis has never been more erect

gave me a good chuckle.

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Cats only cry when they are sick.

it's call the sick eye
their eyes go like that when they're sick

Guys, i told this cat to stop eating himself into an early grave and this happened!
someone help

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>so they have an extreme attachment to you and they trust you completely
This doesn't happen. Enjoy the constant fear of being attacked by the giant killer.

Do you fuck him on a daily basis

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some cats always have teary eyes and need their faces wiped

Some people handle fear better than others.

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i took a mouse away and my cat cried, lol

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Based caturday thread

He's real sick of your shit, user.

based big cat poster

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OWO That's a big penis!

GOD I wish that was me

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she. i taught her to stop bringing mice in, she cried and i actually felt sorry. lol

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Playing Obscure II with my sister.
Dad came out of nowhere and started harassing her due to her not doing her bedroom, all while we were playing.
He suddenly snaps and kicks her real bad in her leg and leaves her limping.
Mom went absolutely insane and they started fighting.
We never finished that game. We cannot. And it was one of our favorites.
I fucking hate everyone but my sister.

Some creepy guy manages to trick 14 year old me to show a picture of my penis for some Xbox live codes. I didn't get any codes and some creep has a picture of my tiny 14 year old penis somewhere

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>trick
Save that for when you testify user, you can tell us that you were a homo all along

>always the same face

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>He suddenly snaps and kicks her real bad in her leg

Is he like 5 years old

That sucks.
My sister also liked that game.

go hug her
tell her you love her
and then kiss her
and then fuck her

No user just lied and left out the part when she was acting all uppity so he had to assert dominance in the household.

No I mean the part where a grown man kicks somebody in the leg

>i'm a big animal lover!
>shares pictures of inbred dogs that suffer every waking moment of their lives
>jumps to the defense of dogs when they take the lives of other animals
>normalizes the act of plastic waste because dogs shit nonstop when you take them for walks
i hate dogfags

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Alone. Crying. Wanting your affection.

You're supposed to apply your lips to the dog's asshole so you can eat the shit and then shit it out into the toilet a day or so later.

Please be in London :(

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A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

this is a good thread

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It's pretty alright.

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I don't know why but this image makes me feel pain in my chest

How cozy.

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looks like a very nice spot to snuggle

>decide to try my hardest to get on mic because I'm tired of not being able to talk to people
>"user, your voice sounds... odd"
>stutter when trying to make callouts
>quit game, turn off PC, go to sleep

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Post a vocaroo, user. We'll tell you if you're cute.

That's something you just have to grow out of over time with practice.

post a vocaroo

Certain breeds, especially flat faced cats, have naturally wet eyes that need to be wiped.

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vocaroo time

In Age of Mythology there's a campaign level where you have to siege the city of Troy. One character says something about it being impregnable and refers to the city as a her. Something like "her walls are impregnable!"
AoM still let's you chat in single player because that's where you enter cheat codes. I started typing messages about wanting to impregnate Troy and talked to it as if it was a girl and got really horny. I don't even think I jerked off back then.

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look at it from the bright side, you spoke one more word than you did previously

a-non a-non a-non
Come on you faggit, read us Nevermore

No,
I don't care if it's anonymous.
The thought of people hearing my voice here almost makes my eyes well up by itself.

Troy is best waifu.
I wanna infiltrate her during the night and make her mine.

stop being a pussy

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I'm going to fuck you in the ass.

then just send it privately to me, through email or discord

Well, if you change your mind, we'll be watching you.

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I've quite literally picked up 300 of these over the years but not sorted any of them out so they're just sprinkled throughout my main folder. It's a nightmare. The crying cat is my absolute favourite maymay. Not sure why

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And just like that, the sad cat posters are unleashed.

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>(people giggling in the back)

AMAZING

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Kek

wow what a baby I bet you're crying right now lol

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Reminder that peer pressure is no good.

youtube.com/watch?v=7mBqm8uO4Cg

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>tfw forcing myself to speak when our game clan has game nights on the weekend because it'd be really weird and suspicious if the leader of a few hundred people never spoke
i want 2 die.
wish i could run vrchat on my toaster so i could practice having conversations anonymously with strangers. one day ill be able to return to actual society

Just go into a multiplayer game and practice speaking. If people give you shit just mute them or go on a different server.

Same. If I ever have a kid I'm going to exclusively use real words to talk to him even if he's a baby and can't really understand them yet.

based and Pumpkins pilled

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m-my wun's up nwext

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Vggjjhhv

I hate when people use animal images as a representation for themselves in a situation. I've never seen a person struggling with a speech or report in front of people and thought to myself "they look just like a crying kitten!".

is the streaming sad cat the same face as crying sad cat?

Sure, here.

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>streaming
screaming

i cant work up the nerve for that

>I hate when people use animal images as a representation for themselves in a situation

S-sorry

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i was playing monster hunter world trying to get the cat gadget from the rotten vale
i was supposed to drop a meat for the kot using the item bar, the same way you use every other item in the game
i went into my inventory, selected meat and selected discard close to a dozen times before my buddy told me how to do it properly

>no fun allowed faggot

POST MORE KOTS

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Why can I talk like a fucking retard with no problems but as soon as I try to have an actual conversation, i turn avoidant and run? HELP ME

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So this is the power of autism...
Woah...

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I'm in a similar position minus the anxiety and never speak to my guildies. Everything I need to convey can be done through text. They'll hear my voice when they've earned it.

I hate reddit speak

Nier Automata on the xbox. Its fun but it also hurts

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Life is so tiresome

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Comedy gold

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I can't not see the stupid google error screens without thinking of this. Any of them.

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AFFECTIOOOON

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remember how adults would warn you not to make a funny face or stay cross eyed for too long or you'd get stuck like that? you're stuck like that. there are dangers to shitposting too often.
just look at the brapfags.

I'm not afraid to talk, but there's just nothing I would say that I can't convey through simple gestures.

Do you want a boyfriend?

just buy it on pc you absolute pleb or pirate it I don't care

Say that to my face, not online, see what happens

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Back in January I was in a critical thinking class full of sjws and a sassy nigger. We were doing our final presentation when the weirdo of the class stepped up. We could barely hear the guy and about 5 minutes in he is not only whispering but his voice is begun to crack. He gets on his knees and hides behind the podium, we can hear him crying and sobbing for a few minutes before the professor gets up and asks him if he's ok and that he can stop presenting if he wants. Then he just storms out of the class holding even more tears. Hell we could hear him sobbing through the next presentation even. If that didn't make you think about the sad cat then I don't know what to say, nigga.

yes

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Everything is going to be OK!

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hot

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10/10

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Undertale really brought out the worst kind of people from the internet. Like even Sonic wasn't capable of this and that's saying a lot.

El sad

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It's not good to talk about yourself like that, user.

I dont think you need to worry about this scenario

STOP

>actual 2014 tumblr thread on Yea Forums
I've gotten too old for this board.

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NOOOO, I DON'T WANNA BE BREAD!!!!

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Is this achievable natty?

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Are you a hentai dub VA?

KILL ME PETE

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tfw knew a girl that not only spoke like this but her voice sounded like this as well. At times it was cute and others it made me want to tear out my small intestine and eat it.

Please just kill me, Pete.

>Yes, I want to be bread, how did you know?

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People on this website are so mean sometimes.
I don't know what I expected though.

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post vocaroo

I played Furcadia for nearly a decade, indulging in questionable sexual roleplay from the time I was 12.

Thankfully a serious head injury has left my long term memory shoddy as fuck, so I don't remember much. It's been a blessing.

Not everyone here is a mean bully though, you've just gotta know where to look

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>post my opinion on Yea Forums
>always expect someone to insult me

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White girls fuck dogs

FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
i really dont wanna be stuck like this

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>work at international marketing agency
>one day one of our vendors comes in to meet the team
>gorgeous tall blonde with banging tits
>all natural everything
>boss calls me over to introduce me
>hey this is user, He's a gamer etc..
>thot immediately changes to a noticeable look of restrained contempt

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aww is da wittle babby going to cwy?

Practice son

That's what you get for having opinions

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>post unpopular opinion
>close the tab and cry

YAMEROOOOOOOO

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Alright, I did three of those things

true but Yea Forums has its moments of gold

IT'S A CONFIRMED TRANNY YOU FUCKING NEWFAGGOT BETA-ORBITING BING BING WAHOO PLAYING GREASY FAT SELF-LOATHING SEXUALLY FUSTRAITED WORTHLESS FUCKS

I wont dare give it's channel attention, but you idiots should know this.

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tell her you love her too you monster

slay me, peter

For some reason, these pictures make me feel a boost in both positive and negative emotion. It feels good being powerful enough to emotionally shatter people and drive them to suicide, but it also feels terrible because I don't want them to actually do it. Maybe I'm just so used to strong-willed, apathetic people.

>playing FFXI
>new girl joins the LS, a Mithra
>seems cool
>we join each others friend lists, which lets you see your friends when they're on their other characters
>this is about when our leader makes a forum for out of game conversations
>new girl posts some pics
>her and her friends dress up every year for Halloween as sailor scouts
>she's always Sailor Venus
>tell her she looks good because that's how normal people speak maybe
>couple days later
>making a Mithra mule
>ask my uncle to name it
>maybe I told him about the new girl, because he instantly says, "Sailor Venus"
>really?
>"yeah, she's my favorite"
>name her Sailorvenus
>"she's the blue-haired one, right?"
>couple days later
>doing Promyvions with the LS
>chatting up the new girl
>someone needs level 20 gear
>tell them they can borrow mine
>log out to get it from my mules
>go on Sailorvenus to check if anything's there
>suddenly I get a tell from the new girl
>"..."
>Curb Your Enthusiasm music starts playing

...

make me rock hard

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

>post my opinion on Yea Forums
>reply to my own post with based

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Good voice acting is good voice acting, chill.

>implying
I already fucking know but its still funny

Shut up and post it you homo

you care a lot!

>post opinion on an imageboard full of angry neckbeard
>not expecting insults

lmao what a loser

based

Why are there so many god damn trannies on here when they're not even 1% of the population

Based

You missed MY post user.
You just skipped right over me.
Was it something I did..?

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Not sure what them having a garbage penis or dumpster vagina has to do with a funny vocaroo but you need to get your shit unfucked faggot

Welp.

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Pretty clever user, got a chuckle out of me.

>nhuyhg

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your boss didn't want you fucking up his chances of banging her, took you out in one shot

meowdy, pardner

She's disgusted that you honestly thought Sailor Venus was the blue-haired one, when anyone who's ever seen the show could tell you that Sailor Venus is blonde, and Sailor Mercury has blue hair.

God, I just want to ram my dick into Komari so bad.

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kys tranny

I called Humphrey Bogart Terry Bogard when I was pretending to be knowledgeable about classic movies in a film club.

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It's easy to pretend to be a woman on the internet.

Means you want to fuck a baby.

>only $300
It could have been worse user

Jesus christ I knew I would miss one, here's your (You), (you) flaming faggot
>

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Cool! A thread where I'll tell that funny stor-
Nevermind then.

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did you immediately call yourself out
otherwise you fucked up

Aw, that's funny user.

did someone reply with "are you ok"?

you are all pussy's

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kys attention seeking faggot.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOO MY BABWY WABLY TALKY GF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I sometimes do but it treads a very fine line
If it goes "overboard", it's an immediate turnoff. At least for the hentai dialogue I read.
>Are you going to go cummy wummies in mommies boobie woobies? Splurt splurt!

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>Jesus christ I knew I would miss one, here's your (You), (you) flaming faggot
thnx bby luv u

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Good job, user.

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Just tell your story, others already have.

Never tell a joke like that ever again.

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lmao bless

lol nice

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>tfw my voice is deep as fuck, but i'm hungry skeleton lanklet-tier so everyone expects me to have some nasally nerd voice
>tfw i never speak because almost every time i do some jackass goes "holy FUCK, your voice is deep"

vocaroo.com/i/s1uWGCgOG6by

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absolutely based chads communicating in higher level speak. i envy the fact you've mastered the language of the gods.

my boss is an old religious lady with a family. Either way I didnt have a chance because we dont relate at all because shes one of these "Ima free spirit with wanderlust adventurous" types. At the most it could have led to a fuck or two, but yeah it was total annihilation in a few seconds.

here you go op

mirrorbot.ga/mirrors/cbjo51/

the owner of the store started giving out mini bagels for free after this incident

>not taking pride in your bass voice

>Shoot your goo, my dude!

Based russian man.

There's still way too many here. There's a lot of people on the internet

I've been playing Bloodborne alot lately, it's really enjoyably but the Nightmare of Mensis is kicking my ass

>t.

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you need to fucking learn how to stop being a pussy
hes right (and also based)

What does any of that to do with the fact that its a funny vocaroo, you absolute dipshit

this but im the complete opposite.

My dick is a free spirit lmao

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literally lee tier autism, get help

NYET RIFLE IS FINE

>talking on forum wow clan uses
>everyone decides to post pictures
>post mine
>girl in clan that I like tells me I have a face made for radio
>feel good to get a compliment
>later that night
>taking a shower
>realize what she said to me
>it was an insult, not a compliment
>still think about it 10 years later

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rock lee?

Anime, loneliness and mental illness are a very bad combination

My friend's voice doesn't match him at all, similar to yours its too deep but he enjoys the fuck out of it. Own up to it user speak out loud!

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OH NO NO

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I came here for a good time and you just have to be a faggot

why you care about some guy who will comment on your accent? happen to me all the time. i get called russian even though i am born in dubai whenever i am talking in online games or post vocaroo on Yea Forums.

no, newfag narutard

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I'm suddenly seeing a lot of hate for the word pupper and stuff like it, and not just from here. I honestly don't get it. Why of all things would you get upset by this? How does it impact ANYTHING? It's a tweet or a post that you'll scroll past and literally never have to care about again.

Maybe if someone specifically talks to you like that regularly in DMs/chat or something I get it, but it doesn't seem to be that and I've never seen someone do that. I only see it in the context of baby talking about something cute on social media or some shit. What reason is there to care that someone is baby talking about a dog? I don't do it myself because I dunno, I'm just not the baby talking type, but I don't think there's an issue.

Is there something I'm missing?

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As a joke, I started saying "nyeeeh" whenever surprised in person. I can no longer stop myself from doing it.

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Amazing.

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Start working out

I have all 3 but I'm not a tranny

the legend of st bagelcel

i hate it because it's fucking annoying. speak like a human, it's a dog

Oh yeah but when you fuckers call cats kots and elephants PRÖÖÖÖHHHS!!! :DDDD it's cute and based.

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grace

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This shit is absolutely everywhere on facebook and I'm tired of seeing it, it worn out its welcome years ago, it's the equivalent of seeing your friends and family members posting unironic rage comics.

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>Has Kot Blini as Steam pic
>Friend sees image and uses in his wpp profile pic
>Next day girl classmates praises him because of funny cat pic

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kill yourself, you sour cunt

man FUCK you. now who is this lee?

oh god im gonna jerk off now thanks for awaring me

Same but you know I'm not wrong.

Why is it annoying though? It's just a picture of a dog and someone being silly to say it's cute.

Rage comics are a dead meme I would at least understand that. Baby talking is pretty eternal, people did it long before the internet. I guess the terminology is a little memey when it comes to "pupper" and "doggo" stuff though.

>overly loving
it's more patronizing than anything

I REALLY wish I had a cute anime sissy bf

Shit like Heckin bork is not baby talk and is a dead meme. Or at least should be.

based cyka blyat bro

based and redpilled

i'm three of those things

Hewwo user :3

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>I have all 3 but I'm not a tranny
I'm 1 and i wish i was a cute 2d girl living in a yuri world

>start to type out a thought out and in-depth response to a post
>stop halfway through after realizing nothing I post matters anyway and go back to lurking

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see

Damn, this image makes me wanna cry.
I just want to cheer up that cat.

>someone posts exactly what you were typing
>gets tons of replies

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Lol these are all the people making proclamations about who should die and the strength of white men. Can't even fucking talk in front of people.
Hilarious

They miss you even more
youtube.com/watch?v=H6j7UnpUMy4

Kill me, Pete

I already know neither of you are nearby. I've been trying for years, it's hopeless

cats can't cry it only looks like they are when they have an eye infection

Lee is still around? His posts are becoming less common.

all wh*tes should die though

based whitey living in ya head rent free

Oh yeah? Where you from, user?

ITT: bitter, untasteful, unfun males

Yes, it is caused by nerve gas that photographers leak into the room before taking these photos. It causes mild irritation for cats due to natural allergy to the gas which results in tearing up

South Africa. There's no one here and those that are will probably think I'm ugly

how the fuck do you animals manage to breathe, jesus christ. imagine being so autistic you can't speak in a video game

>had a dry throat when I had to talk for a presentation I was already nervous about
>couldn't put a single sentence together without stuttering or coughing
>just wanted it to end
>teacher kept asking me questions before actually let me go
I don't ever wanna go to uni again

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HAUNTER IS THAT YOU

Damn, that sucks user. I hope you find someone close by one day

now that you're here, I agree

>have a uni presentation
>Humanities so 90% of of the class was female
Fortunately it was a group project but man was it painful

Ouch!

>before she actually let me go*
God I can't even type without messing up

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I won't ;_;

If the topic I'm presenting about isn't actually something that I know anything about or like that shit happens to me.
However, if I actually give a shit about the topic it's like I was born to do it. I don't feel nervous in the slightest, and I put all of my energy and soul into it.
It's weird. It's completely beyond my control. No matter how hard I try, I can't conjure that same energy if it's not a topic I like.

Pete we've been over this kill me Pete please

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GOTTEM

vocaroo.com/i/s1mdOLjWy5gy

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that's what you're supposed to do actually, baby talk can give them a lisp when they're trying to learn language

People with stage fright are some of the most pathetic people that ever lived, and deserve to be shunned from humanity.

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damn so fucking BADASS!!

that accent is thick and nice (: also incredibly based

what a chad

Wow you're SO FUCKING COOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Mama mia, user, you fucked up again didn't you? What's wrong, little guy? Does the little baby want his ba-ba?

god, you're so fucking hot

ever heard of the word "passion", user?

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you sound like rwhitegoose but with a stronger accent

That's right. Now get on your knees and start sucking like the cowardly sissy you are, or I'll make you do a college presentation again.

Passion, or lack of it thereof shouldn't turn people into spaghetti.

this guy fucks

iktf

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cringe

yes, my master. please present your fucking huge cock so I can stutter and gag all over it.

Doggo can be okay. Pupper is crossing the line.

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You fucking fags just need to pretend you're a cool guy and you win.
t. guy with same issues.

>tfw no shy boy to talk to on discord where I can slowly help build his confidence

sounds kinda gay

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Thanks for the inspiration, it does mean a lot to me.
I tried to read some of Nevermore, or The Raven, or whatever, but my mouth kept getting dry and my voice was cracking too much.
Maybe another day, but I've been blogging and attention whoring enough on this thread.

Kill me pete

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just fucking kill me already pete

Based and reddittriggering.

youtube.com/watch?v=4CK2hx377iU

>get called a faggot here, and online
>anons don't know it turns me on

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>Maybe another day
don't lie to yourself user
this is the moment, it's now or never
if you pass this moment, you'll set your life on a no-return path
this is the turning point

why is he so sad Yea Forums?

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vocaroo.com/i/s0E7Ze7cdnHB

>filename
and stay out

>tfw i have the most fucking girly sneeze ever and all my fiends make fun of me

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Sseth is that you?

who the fuck cares if its a tranny or whatever the fuck
let the goddamn nigga live and get your head checked you spergo

cringe

>have a monster sneeze and friends always kick me out of discord when I have allergies

why did I think this was a picture of cum dripping out of an asshole

>fiends
how do I delete a post?

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Damnit I want to listen to this but I'm at work

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Alright so see the white box next to your post? Left click it. And then at the bottom of the thread page there's a delete button. You can click it and it'll delete your post you highlighted.

>fiends

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is this you?
youtu.be/59EjwdMYnTo?t=9m50s

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>friend has girly sneeze
>when they sneeze I blush so hard for no reason
I don't know why please tell me why

私を殺す、ピート

it's okay I still love you user

Why have you all not ascended to a higher plane of consciousness? The sooner you realize that there will never be a gf for you, the sooner you can begin communing with the astral plane and focusing on self improvement. I have not wanted for a gf in years, my sadness is gone.

vocaroo.com/i/s08gYgCdB06Y

Pupper is a cute name. So is doggo. What's the problem? Autism?

Here is my cat happy

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I just want a cute twink bf to take a shower with, and clean ourselves after a hard day of wageslaving.

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faggot

I was getting depressed as shit because this is still me and I'm nearing 26, I even saved a thread that seemed like yesterday and I was looking through my Yea Forums folder and decided to open it, it was a fucking vocaroo thread with people exactly like you and me except it was almost 9 year ago already.

You're not alone user. Had this issue when I was 18-19 and now since early 2017 I haven't even played multiplayer games in the past year and a half.

Is Sseth liked Nono I'd be shocked

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this 2bh, just accept reality and do what you can about it

we are all gonna make it bro

At least you fags don't sound like you're a 12 year old getting his balls squeezed by a fucking vice as he drinks two liters of cum. Fucking niggers you guys got it good.

Sad cat is my favorite meme, it's simple and lowkey

I bought Elite: Dangerous at full price.

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>he says anonymously
What's your name there big guy? Afraid to tell us?

yeah well, so do you

post vocaroo

faglord

Same, it my sneezes sound like a fucking gobling being impaled and screaming out its last breath

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where the FUCK do you think we are

Imagine you're getting the most amazing blowjob imaginable, with your eyes covered.
How do you know if it's a girl or a boy?

D'ya like degs?

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>what is push to talk

>2nd grade
>Had a "friend" whom I hanged out with during recess
>I own Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 on PS1
>For some fucking reason I let him "trade-borrow" his game for mine
>he moves away the week I give him my game
>mfw I basically traded THPS2 for Stuart Little 2 the Video Game

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I'm playing a game, who the fuck uses push to talk when playing a game

How do i learn to change my voice like that? Any tips trannies?

Does it matter?

It happened to me about a year ago. I was a true incel, and one day I just stopped wanting a gf. It feels like I've achieved fucking CHIM or something.

If it's that good it must be a boy

I bought it, launched it a year ago once and it's still on my desktop

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>22 and have never had anything close to a romantic relationship, not even any female friends
>gave up on the entire concept of it back in junior year highschool
>out of the blue some qt black girl at my work asked me out
>have no idea what to fucking do or how to even approach this situation
I feel I am too socially stunted at this point to make it work

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>School debate between classes in high school
>Noone ever did that before, get chosen to lead the team because basically nobody else wanted to
>Have to make two presentations, an opener and a closer.
>Basically I had to talk about our argument and then when all of the debates were over I needed to explain why I thought our side was in the right.
>Since I was fucking nervous and didn't study enough, my presentations were a fucking train wreck, feel really bad about it.
>Later on the same day, the teacher shows us videos of our debate, telling us where we went wrong and where we went right.
>Kept on repeating the same videos of me fucking up and being embarassing on and on.
>In front of the whole class.
>Kept on talking to me about where I fucked up and how to improve it, I was basically just nodding and telling her I understood because I wanted it all to end.

Undoubtebly the most embarassing moment of my young life so far, it just kept on going and going.
Luckily my classmates were understanding cause everyone would have been in my same situation, had they been chosen instead of me

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I just want my $60 back user.

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Do not. Do you really want to give up the state of uncaring? You know that woman is just going to use you, and then you'll be crying with the other anons.

seek help for your sex addiction

had a real bad breakup lately so I decided to fuck with tinder a little
met a really forward girl, she was also flirty, looked alright
met with her had lunch, then we went to a motel
she immediately starts taking off my pants when the doors closed
after one aggressive blowjob and a nut later "she" told me he was actually a tranny and I'm just shocked
she then proceeded to 100 bucks out of my wallet while I was taking a shower

Oh okay, so disliking one meme that was run into the ground hard is justifiable, but I'm silly for disliking other meme that was run into the ground hard.

damn, Yea Forums is truly filled with sissy bois

I just call my dog a fucking moron and retard.

I am worryingly good at pretending to be a girl online. I stopped for the past 3 years but I've made over 100$ doing it.

I miss it and that's the embarassing vidya story.

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Kill me, Pete

vocaroo.com/i/s0g4JLmP02Xo

>having cash
wew

Sometimes I feel like a wizard, no joke. I no longer look after good asses on the street, I no longer feel anything when girls sit with me, and I no longer have any issue talking to them. I am slowly becoming free.

Yeah, and even then, all I could ever get back is the anxiety and nervousness. And the false hope that it could be different.

it's my emergency bill
I don't use it unless my cards get declined

>tfw I don't have skill to edit crying cat face on my cats

did the bj at least feel worthy of 100 bucks?

this isn't funny it's been a serious problem all my life, It's gotten to the point to where someone promised to make a compilation of me sneezing and I really hope they're joking

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>You know that woman is just going to use you
Yeah, that's my biggest concern. i'm around average in my looks, my only negative is that i'm somewhat fat, but not obese levels. Personality wise i'm pretty fucking bland and don't really do anything interesting, I just can't fathom what she'd see in me other than just using me

I mean, it's not really about the money, but more about the sense of betrayal and shock to be honest

>mfw hungry and reading about how some faggot walks around with an "emergency bill"

I hope you get robbed for everything you own

i did that but with no mans sky

Mean people just have louder voices. Learn to ignore them

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out fucking skilled

stop being so gay, you prancing la-la homoman

This is the next step in mental evolution, user. Cutting off all those nasty feelings.

Kill me, Pete

>sneezes always clip microphone
>if I have push to talk I always hold it down when I'm about to sneeze

This honestly, always surprised if anybody agrees. That's why most of Yea Forums is an echochamber that pretends to like the same games

Vanilla Skyrim. Running a bounty hunter playthrough trying to get the Obsidian Sentinel build. Siht's pretty fun.

Based

>school debate in english class and only get a week to prepare
>not ready at all
>do some shitty research
>no one is the leader when it starts so I take over
>stutter but get the point across
>get an A because the other team was filled with cowards and unprepared
mfw this has never happened since and I usually give up on debates because I suck at them

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youtube.com/watch?v=YSWKtuaV2fY

Literally Tomoko

use her instead, fuck her so that no one can call you virgin and then break up
implying she's a bad person or that you don't want the relation anyways

What was the point of the whole thing again? Doesn't sound fun

i always sucked at debates because I naturally curse like a sailor when arguing

>vocaroo.com/i/s0G2tlOQgWAF

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why am I laughing so hard

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>fat and ugly
>awkward body language
>basically look like shrek
>no girl has ever expressed any amount of interest in me in real life
>have a deep voice
>have had multiple girls on the internet compliment me on it and even a couple actually hit on me
>could never actually get with any of them because the second they saw me they'd do a 360 and moonwalk out the door
i don't like this

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talking in a certain cadence of voice will actually get your dog friend to get really excited though which is adorable.
but maybe theyve just been conditioned into acting that way because it knows youre about to give them attention?

This shit started killing me in 2015 to 2016. I browsed less and less and ultimately in 2018 would only catch porn threads literally until this may.

You should date her.

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was it good, at least?

well, losing virginity, maybe you care about it
there's also a chance that she's actually a nice companion

It's ok when Finns do it

Not when Mutt women do it

And I want to impale every cute one of them on my dick

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Gotta keep working on distancing yourself from wanting to fuck women. Just do things for you, instead of trying to impress them. Realize that you will never have a gf, and that most women literally only want you for your money and they don't enjoy sex with 90% of men.

>Use Blini Kot as Whatsapp profile picture
>Next day girl classmates tells me "Why don't you ever have a picture of yourself as profile pic, you weirdo"

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Be a phone sex operator and make millions

Been playing Lobotomy Corp a lot this week, I'm about to take a break and playing Caligula Effect Overdose now though

Sorry for making such a big deal out of this, it is really hard for me to do. I can't help but feel I'm not like you'd expect vocaroo.com/i/s0sbS5TchVX4

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Terrible thread guys

Why don’t you?

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YO Yea Forums
vocaroo.com/i/s0xdB4waEY8R

>vocaroo.com/i/s0sbS5TchVX4
you literally sound fine user and the reading was good

I'm in the same boat, I'm unnattractive and awkward but people always say they liked my voice and people have asked me to be the narrator/reader for little events. It's my one redeeming trait

I havent put up a picture of me on my profile at work so when I call people they can only focus on my voice

Incredibly based

I'm an ugly weeb. I can't use myself and I can't use anime because I need to hide my powerlevel. All that's left are cats.

Does your mouse not have MB4/5?

Attached: 97.png (737x735, 633K)

I use those

Attached: sup.gif (425x179, 1015K)

vocaroo.com/i/s1TYz6wRUjIo

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>kot
>doggo
>pupper
This shit makes me fucking sick. I think it's the only thing that can be described as pure "reddit". FUCK.

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Do you play exclusively MMOs or something?

post sneeze