>The hardest part in the entire game, besides Dracula, is the hall right before the Grim Reaper. You have Medusa heads coming at you from both directions, and two knights throwing axes at two different altitudes. I mean, look at the pattern going on here. Anything that hits you drains a quarter of your health, so that means four hits and you're dead. Oh, but the knights, the knights take nine hits. NINE FUCKING HITS! You can't even concentrate on attacking them because you're too busy dodging Medusas. But you can't dodge the Medusas because you're too busy dodging the axes. But you can't dodge the axes because you're trying to hit the knight. BUT YOU CAN'T HIT THE KNIGHT, BECAUSE THE GAME'S DRIVING YOU FUCKING CRAZY! It's like a test. It's a test... to the shit.
The hardest part in the entire game, besides Dracula, is the hall right before the Grim Reaper...
When did you realize that a lot of the anger comes from him just being bad at video games?
Maybe I'll review that in the year 2020.
I mean, he’s average, sure an Autist like you probably think the hallway part is easy but for most people this shits impossible
Read it in his voice.
It was pretty obvious for the Castlevania games which he made because he wanted to make videos about a series he really liked
i mean, if he actually beat ghosts and goblins even once, then hes better than me
I mean that probably is the hardest room in the original castlevania. It's not impossible but you'll definitely die unless you are a huge vet of the franchise.
>THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF
Old AVGN was pure soul. When his daughter eventually inherits his collection of games and consoles, how much do you want to bet she sells it all to buy vapid shit like clothes and jewelry?
The hallway is pretty easy if you use holy water. You can stun the knights and walk right through them with no damage.
I'm not talking about just about that episode but in general
The Zelda retrospective, Castlevania marathon and Nintendo Power episodes were pure comfy.
>THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF! It's like, the controls in this game are like something you do for a cheat code, NOT A BASIC MOVE THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO PLAY THE GAME! Why'd they program it in such an asinine, ball-brained, cockamamie, ridiculous fashion?! It's like, geez, there's four buttons right in the front of the controller! LIKE THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?!? Instead they have to, like, program it like all into, like, weird kinda crazy button combinations and shit!? It's like, what were they thinking?! It's like, up is jump!? Select for the grappling hook!? Select shouldn't even be part of the game, select should be like for the menus or something, I mean, geez! Like, were they trying to just ruin this game - just, flat out just fuck it up?! Well they did! BATMAN FOREVER! IT SUCKED BACK THEN, AND IT SUCKS FOREVER!
fuck him. jew garbage
???
Whenever he said he couldn't get past the first screen of Resident Evil 2. Genuinely fucking baffling.
Wasn't that the Game.com version though?
He says he had the same problem with the original
its his birthday today bros
Did his wife loose like 100 lbs? She genuinely doesn't look awful there. Of course she NEVER smiles still which is a huge turn off.
idk. this pic was from may.
Oh. Yeah, he's just incredibly bad then.
I saw his review years before playing the game so when I got to that hallway I was psyched up, ready for the hardest shit in vidya and I passed it, only gettting hit once, the first time. Then death appeared and immediately killed me. As a result I went through that fucking hallway 50 times.
>inb4 holy water
I didn't know the trick and killed him with the cross first time (after 50 or 60 tries.) AVGN is kinda right though, if you get hit once (and don't have holy water) you're fucked for the death fight.
The real problem IS THE FUCKING SNIPERS!
>SEND HIS FUCKING HEAD TO THE MOON
He looks like such a cool dad in this image
The best AVGN episodes are the ones about games from his childhood that he respects but have enough flaws/frustrations to make fun of.
>But, one guy? No continues!? Like, seriously, give me a reason why there's no continues. Why are there no continues!? WHY ARE THERE NO FUCKING CONTINUES!? WHYYYY!? AUUUGGHH *glug glug* *GASP* AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Shes not trying to turn you on user, she doesnt need to smile for you.
kys faggot. bitch never smiles.
review what?
It's a picture with her family. Everyone else is smiling and having a good time at the beach. She always wears the "please kill me face".
Raid 2020
nigga just jump forward and holy water
If shes having her pic taken, she can at least not look like a miserable pile of shit that looks like shes a chore to be around
Post the most kino AVGN episodes
Snatcher would be pretty neat too.
>that megaman episode was more kino than his actual movie
god damn it
me taking a shit was better than that boring pile of soulless garbage.
Are you 40 year old soccer moms who have to bitch about everything because you don't got anything going on in your lives? Holy shit this isn't Facebook, faggots.
I wonder why he skipped over the Game Boy Castlevania games.
NYEEEEEEE WHAT'S UP DOC?
t. incel
keep sticking up for that soul sucking cunt
When did you realize he was reading from a pre written script and displaying a performance of anger because he had the foresight to know that his "angry antics" would be a much better delivery than simply reading it off?
She always looks like a miserable cunt.
Maybe he couldn't get them
You should play the games first. Even though he's semi-ironic, every flaw he's sperging out over is legit criticism.
holy fuck, I have the same look in the mirror after 3 18 hour work days in a row
So fucking what? I don't smile in pictures either unless someone catches me off guard. I hate forcing that shit.
Super Pitfall is underrated as hell.
Is it me or is James absurdly ugly? I look at him and I just end up feeling bad for the guy.
Based Mike.
I just feel bad for James. Even in pictures from 12 years ago she had that same pissed off all the time expression in any photo you see of her. She never looks like she's having any fun at all and hates everyone and everything. I mean, I can relate to that, but I don't want that quality in a wife too.
The hallway is way easier once you figure out you can just walk backward briefly to avoid all the medusa heads.
Drink bleach White Knight
>TFW you will never git gud enough to beat Super Ghouls & Ghosts on Professional
Why is Mike so based lads?
"And I didn't say 'horse shit', I said 'whore shit'. LIKE A WHORE TAKING A SHIT!"
its meant to show a general outlook on the average gamer what poeple going through them the first time likely felt internally that and his own views when he played them. Also he's exaggerating for comedy.
He isn't ugly tho. Just an average nerd.
>daughters are blonde
>James isn't blonde
What did they mean by this?
Go back to whatever shitty social media you retards crawled out and try to have some self-awareness.
Dude this thread is a joke. Why signal your heterosexuality like that and say what you would really do?
Why so serious? As my favorite character, the JOKER would say. It's my favorite character because he resembles me psychologically.
Learn to laugh. Learn to troll. Learn to play with your posts. This is Yea Forums bitch, it's not ducking rebbit.
Welcome to the madhouse. Nothing is what it seems around here.
You shouldn't have to "force" being happy around your kids.
Just because someone isn't smiling doesn't meant they're not happy.
>t. non-white
I used to be platinum blonde as a little user. Now at 20 something my hair is brown. Afaik James used to be blonde too as a kid.
>surrounded by your loving family on the beach for your husbands birthday
>not smiling
yeah shes a fucking cunt. cant wait until she kills herself.
If he can beat Castlevania without savestates, he's better than me.
Genes ar funny like. Some can start as blonde and later turn to darker colors. My mom was like that.
Calm down, edge lord.
now this is some fresh pasta
Yeah, something is wrong with her. Probably childhood abuse that made her an angry feminist cunt. I've seen it a million times.
inb4 she takes over james' role
AVGN is the definition of a boomer now, which isn't necessarily bad.
I think that the tattoos is a dead giveaway.
Same here. My hair used to be dark blond when I was a kid, but now it's black.
Pretty sure he wasn't born in 1945
>be on youtube since 2006
>didn't get involved into drama
>didn't sperg out or attacked his fans
How did he do it lads?
He seems like a complete pushover
He deserves better, he should have never settled.
she looks like such a femcel kek
>Angry Video Game Girl
Might be cool.
Her whole gimmick would be "I'm a girl". No, that must never happen. It would have been great if he had a son instead so when he dies his collection could go to someone who might actually appreciate it.
Big rigs.
He's going to have to sell every single one of those games on ebay to pay for college for both his daughters.
god I fucking hate women so fucking much, he will soon come to realize that having a family was a mistake if he hasn't already
>he’s retro now
I feel retro too
What if the gimmick is exactly the same and she's just a girl? Why are you being so assuming?
>having a family was a mistake
t. cool wine aunt
april will take them in the inevitable divorce
>What's that? A metamorphic stone rising from the blackness and negative Earth, a towering behemoth of monstrosity brought down by extraterrestrial powers, or a giant monolith of death, Hell-bent on the annihilation of humankind, time, and all matter?
>No. It's the AC adapter for a ColecoVision.
>WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING
Because the vast majority of girls and women are incapable of having a genuine interest in video games, or really anything that isn't shoes or their fucking hair.
>I just shot down a duck by saying fuck
>ROLLING ROCK ON THE ROLLIN ROCKER
I can’t wait for him to be official JUST
One of the most memorable AVGN quotes for me is from the LJN video art episode (I think).
>that is the sound of pure, all encompassing negativity
le epic rant
Jesus, you went through a bad break up, huh?
>Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That was a bus full of niggers! Now you have AIDS!
>so... what are the complaints here? THIS IS AWESOME
unironically correct. If the bitch wants to look miserable that's her prerogative.
delet
What happened to the whole "defective baby" thing? You lied to me Yea Forums
HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU BACK TO THE PAST
She had nerve damage in her arm. She got fixed.
Mike = big dick and hair
James = cuck and bald
Is... is she smiling? Must be because she knows she has him locked into eventually paying child support for two daughters instead of just one.
based and mikepilled
Jesus christ, what's your beef with her?
Just look at her.
I wish AVGN was still a manchild.
That's just how most women operate, user. Whores have no souls.
>only smiles when james isnt around
Sorry, for a moment I forgot where I was.
Sooner than it took for you to realize it's an entertainment act, apparently.
You should go back to where you usually post. What I said might not be pretty, but it's the truth. I've seen the exact same shit happen with many people I personally know, even my own mother is like this and went through 3 men in my childhood, having another child with one of them.
Ah, that explains it
Fucking dumb ass zoomer
so that they can get fucked by black guys and turned into brainwashed slaved for the liberal ruling class.
>What I said might not be pretty
Oh, fuck off. Atleast put some effort into it you überfaggot
dont waste your breath, they wont learn until its too late
I'm not baiting, everything I said is fucking true and you're sticking your head in the sand if you say otherwise. Enjoy paying child support for 18 years and alimony for the rest of your life.
i loved the earthbound episode
>comfy on my bed watching nerd videos
>earthbound episode comes out
>10 times more comfy
>sleep tight right after
Uh...his daughter kinda has Motherfucker Mike's smile in that pic. Guys?
TOP 5 EPISODES, GO
>NES Accessories
>Doublevision
>Atari Sports
>Tiger Electronic Games
>Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
I actually finished Simon's Quest today, and after wondering how truly bad the game was after 10 or so years, finally playing it has shown me that it's just very tedious and cryptic.
There's no challenge in the game, only around three bosses and each can be cheesed with fire, mansions are boring, hell the entire game is boring to play. Plus I'm not sure how anyone was meant to do half of the puzzles. I tried to play without looking anything up but had no idea what the fuck to do and did the 4th dungeon 2nd when I shouldn't have, once I looked up where the fuck I was meant to go I basically creamed through the game with little resistance.
Hoping 3 is as good as people say.
Oh, sorry.My bad. I didn't know you have assburgers..
not user but your entire defense was 'who hurt you sweaty', you're obviously a dumbshit with zero relationship experience.
Why does AVGN attract people with cucking on their minds? James has a great family, no need to be so bitter.
watch the movie
>James has a great family
And your reason to believe that is..?
Back to Yea Forums, incels.
Different person. Talking shit about the mother of 2 kids because is fucking retarded
I'm volcel, I hate women. Do you not know what Incel means?
the problem isnt that he has a family, its that his stupid feminist wife wont take care of it while he makes the fucking money
Volcels are just coping incels
>the mother of 2 kids
I wonder if she ever got any abortions. More women than you might realize have. My sister is a super caring sensitive mother on the surface, but has legally murdered two of her unborn children in the past.
As a kid.
I also didn't, i got scared.
Vidya skill is complicated, I have friends who have played competitive counter strike but can't fucking beat any super mario games
>Review game
>Using hard game difficulty as a complaint instead of realizing the game is supposed to be satisfying to beat
>Reviewing about game difficulty instead of artistic vision, sound design, atmosphere, story
>Thinking "it's just bad" or any other ungrounded opinion is criticizm
>Thinks having opinions qualifies you for being a critic
>Focuses only on negatives instead of also praising the good
*LOUD, NEGATIVE GAMESHOW BUZZ NOISE*
Nice non argument. I don't expect you to understand, but not everyone's driving force in their life is sticking their penis in a wet gash between some whore's legs.
Is it me or does his daughters hairline look like it's receding? or is her forehead just big?
You havent watched many of his videos, then.
He never said he had trouble with Resident Evil 2. All he said was
>"The same thing happens to me when I try to play the real Resident Evil 2. You get about 3 seconds to figure out the control and a zombie latches himself onto you and kills you."
Cope
Sliver Surfer for me he feels truly pissed the entire episode. That rant at the end and the subtle throw of the game against the wall is just hilarious.
Batman
CD-I
Friday 13th
You gotta own your sins
>I wonder
You see a family and wonder if the mom ever had an abortion? nigger wot
Imagine if the nerd reviewed dark souls xD
it would be so epic!
My point is that you're saying she's the mother of two children as if that's some kind of virtue. You have no way of knowing that she's a good person, and frankly it's more likely that she isn't.
TO WATCH NIGS FUCK HIS WIFE IN THE ASS
I thought the same thing when I saw a picture of Joe Rogan's daughters. Both are blonde with blue eyes but Joe's hair has always been dark.
The hallway is hard as all balls and legit one of if not the most difficult section in the game because you are going to need all your health against Death
He fucking better.
>almost 40
Also I can never get over how much James looks like my uncle circa 15 years ago
Hair darkens as you age. My hair was virtually white when I was a toddler. It is now brown.
Alright, this is Silver Surfer.
There was a minor complication at birth. Yea Forums lied to you to make it seem like a huge deal because all Yea Forums does is lie lie lie.
more like Silver Shit
HE LOOKS SO STUPID I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM
HE'D RATHER EAT
JAMALS CUM OUT OF HIS WIFES VAGINA
>My busted pussy whore mom is a skeezy, disease ridden slut who takes cock in like a chicken coop so that means all women are like my dirty fucking useless waste of space cock sucking cum drinking mommy that gave birth to me and a few other pukes with different men that all went balls deep with no rubber in her unprotected nasty gaped whore vagina
Kek
Why are people so fucking obsessed with his wife?
seething
>Seething
I'd be too if my mom was a dirty skank who fucked for money and clothes and gave birth to kids she neglects just a little bit less than she neglects me.
because james could have been pewdiepie and she stood in the way of the growth of his channel by forcing him to take care of the kids (and licking nigger cum out of her used vagina every night)
>plz leave cuz i want every1 to agree wit my incel post
Nah. Defend your position or go back to /pol/.
reality is the biggest source of evidence, you're just not willing to look directly at it.
Go back to /pol/? /pol/ worships white women more than almost any other board. Are "go back to /pol/" and "seething incel" the only comebacks you know, you retarded redditor fuck?
Why was the music in this game so damn good?
The only silver lining about this whole game.
Damn. Call the cops for murder
>takes cock in like a chicken coop
You're a retarded whiteknight but this part of your post was pretty funny.
And you have no way of knowing otherwise and have no evidence to your claim whatso ever
You one mother being a useless whore that raised a good for nothing beta faggot is a pretty shitty reality, but it's your world and we don't live in it.
have kids
So, you have no evidence?
Try harder, dude. Not even worth reading your post. All that effort and I didn't even read it.
>stop not agreeing with meeeee ;-;
Get dabbed on
>Admitting he cant read
ok
>questioning incel logic
I've never bothered with whores because they're not worth my time.
Why are you guys always so bitter? It doesn't have to be this way.
i hate women so much
baste
Yikes, don't be mad that he's leaving something to carry on his DNA after he dies while yours dies with you.
Only a hedonistic normalfaggot like you would care so much about something as superficial as passing on your genes.
>ME LIKE SEX
>SEX GOOD
>SEX MEANING IN LIFE
>he thinks DNA is meaningful
C-C-C-C-CUUUUUUUU
So this is how the white race dies huh
Fuck off
I don't give a shit. Fuck you, fuck any kind of collectivism. Kill yourself.
most videeogame players dont beat the games they play, and they play easy shit like ass creed and skyrim
james is definitely above average
>he can't tried the black kid meme and has to spin around now
good try
The castlevania episodes are so comfy
He's totally right. Hell, Dracula is nowhere near as hard as the Grim Reaper sequence.
t. screenslob
>street fighter 2010
hit home on so many levels
I still appreciate James and will shill for his stupid balding ass, but fuck are his friends/bosses/whatever their relationship is gross.
I just spammed him with the holy water.
I'm talking legit, though. Actually getting to it with the Holy Water is a bit tougher than anything in Dracula, too.
I actually think the Reaper stage is easier than the Frankenstein state, it took me a while but I managed to get to the Reaper without dying, I'm pretty sure I lost more lives to the hunchbacks in the Frankenstein stage.
The Batman episodes are the absolute peak
>what the shit is that?!
WHAT THE SHIT IS IT
Come on, those ones are easy, just never stop moving while hitting them just as they hit the floor and you should be golden.
He's a beast in Contra tho
Have sex more than once.