4am thread

Because i was born here and i'm the only one in my whole family who knows english
Aside from that we are kinda in debt thanks to some filhos da puta

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how many hot women are in br? like on an average day how many 7/10 and up do you see

>want to play vidya
>end up spending all the day posting on Yea Forums with a few minutes of actually playing vidya inbetween
>get tired and go to sleep
>repeat
Every goddamn day

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I don't go out, and besides from that, i have super low standards so i couldn't really tell you

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Learning Japanese is all I can do these days. Sometimes I can't even do that.

I put my chastity cage back on

>it's actually five
Where does the time go?

Quem? O Lula?

Where did you get the money the learn Japanese? You have to start from somewhere.

Not so fast Kaiba

You just set off my trap card

I'm using free online resources only.

>tfw ever since moving from the east coast to the west coast 4am threads lose all value

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I'm not sure what to play at the moment.

Nah, meio complicado de explicar.
Mas o meu pai vendeu a academia dele antes de ter um AVC, só que ele teve o tal derrame enquanto os papeis estavam sendo trocados. Os filhos da puta que o meu pai vendeu a academia ao invés de continuar o processo, deixaram no nome do meu pai. Ai a concessionária ameaçou a tirar a nossa casa, ai negociamos e estamos ajudando o cara a pagar a divida, se não ficamos sem casa. Mas o cara também assinou um contrato que diz que ele vai nos dar dinheiro todo o mês até completar 22mil eu acho

How the fuck do I start doing things? I always end up playing vidya at night and my brain rejects doing any form of activity during the day time.

shake some more why don't you

No. You're are here forever.

I've wasted my life

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I quit my job a few days ago, I've just been playing some JRPGs I had on my backlog and fixing my car.

i haven't slept for almost 2 days straight now. there's literally nothing stopping me, i just really couldn't careless anymore.

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>02:52:41
what

Things are the opposite of out of control right now, making huge progress on my videogame and my mom is leaving for a week starting tomorrow so I'll have whatever environment I want to work on it in

5PM here. I'm at a point now where life and emotions are pretty stable, but I've also been reading up on late stage capitalism and am feeling a deep-seeded urge to rebel against the system. I still haven't found an adequate answer to "Why do I have to wake up and work for someone else every day?"

just 363 more to go

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literally me

Isn't real life classes plain better tho?
>Have a professor to ask every time she asks if you understood the lesson
>Take tests to see if you must improve and study more
>Have some responsability, feeding the little blue bird inside you
>You don't want to waste your money so at least you try from time to time
>Talk to other humans beings

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Keep me updated, got me some online job but not only is it really shitty full of false promises and low payment but also the Santander bank asks me 90 reais to convert the dollar payment into real outside of the usual taxes

How? Drugs? Even when I was hardcore NEETing, I'd get weary and pass out after a good fap. Even on drugs, my eyes would eventually get too dry that not even eye drops could comfort them, and I'd have to lay down and rest.

I've got this burning like my veins are filled with nothing but gasoline.

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I'd say having a real person who will answer all your questions is a massive utility, but testing isn't that important (you can use Anki for vocabulary reassurance and the JLPT for a final test of skill), and classes move way slower than they need to so they can add more courses to the program and extract more money from you. Being able to practice with other speakers verbally is also great, but there's apps where you can do this with natives now through a phone call. I'm too anxious for that now though so I just do writing and reading practice and eschew speaking.

no drugs, mostly just caffeinated drinks (specifically tea and coffee), water, snacks, and every so often i'l leave my house to go for a walk because im paranoid about developing a blood clot in my leg.

>tfw woke up at around midnight
I love my constantly cycling sleep schedule

I started a job at a burger place a few days ago. I'm in the kitchen doing food prep. Mainly just small stuff like making salads and whatnot.

Any general tips on how to improve my performance? I feel like the odd one out, is that normal? Is it okay for me to ask questions if I get confused or forget how to do something, or am I being annoying?

I literally have nothing to live for

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me too

>all this blogging
Jesus Christ fuck off.

4am generals are the one place feelposting is accepted
until it gets baleeted
so quick post some vidya discussion.

user told me about Xenus 2: White Gold which is supposed to be a Far Cry knockoff but more RPGish

Yes, it's normal. Remember that the worse thing others will do is rumble about "That idiot co-worker that can't remember anything" to his group of unrelated individuals to you. No names, not description, only "that idiot co.worker". So ask away, don't fear about looking like an idiot.

>am I being annoying?
People love to feel like they're experienced/knowledgeable

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gonna quit my job in 2 months, without saving anything and no plans, is this or killing myself, wish me luck 4am posters

It's up bois, time to hold onto ya hats
youtu.be/xyzYKVL5CB0

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Apply for a bunch of credit cards before you quit. Also get all your dental work done before you lose your health insurance. Its been five years since I went to the dentist and you can literally see the holes in my teeth

I don't know ho is it in the USA, but in europe and south korea summer classes are intense, you do what you can do in 3 months in two weeks to prepare for october langauge certificate test, it's only worth at this time of the year.
>I'm too anxious for that verbal speaking
You idiot, you ignorant and rascal, no one expects nothing from you when you try to speak a langague you never used before. How much is the phone call? Is it free? If it's free just do'it dummy. They have to attend prideful idiots, drunk idiots and honest idiots. Do'it.
BTW why do you want to learn Japanese?

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Everyday

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Fucking dropped out of college because I had a panic attack during the day of my finals and my GPA plummeted. Petitioning to get re-admitted in, but I don’t know. My mind is going numb.
I’d like some recommendations for good vidya, or even a good book.

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Cool drawing

I know that feel, I didn't have a panic attack but similar circumstances. What systems/PC do you have?

holy shit user, i do have "free" healthcare but doesn't cover the dentist, you actually look for another jobs or you just give up altogether? i'm somewhat hopefull to find another job in within 3-4 months

>or even a good book.
Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. The beginning is a bit slow, but it's not very long.

if you show up everyday and do a good job then everyone will love you. has worked for me so far.

It is certainly different in the USA (and Mexico is similar to us in this way). You spend a really long time on hiragana, the katakana, some very basic sentence structures, days of the week, etc. and don't even learn the て form until your second or third course. I guess it's kind of comforting learning it slowly, but it's still a bit of a waste I think.
>How much is the phone call? Is it free?
It's an app called HelloTalk I think, you can either speak live or do pre-recorded messages with natives and send IMs back and forth too. It's free but I don't know much else about it.
>BTW why do you want to learn Japanese?
Honestly, I started learning back in high school, got kinda good, and then just stopped. This summer, I went back to it only because I already knew so much and I felt like it would be a waste to quit forever. Turns out I knew less than I thought I did, but I feel motivated enough (for now, at least...)

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Only abstinence. Maybe dedicate a time of day where you must turn off the internet and play games.

I’m binge-watching old GTLive livestreams. MatPat’s wife Stephanie is so fucking cute.

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nigga its 11am in Germany

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>watching other people play video games when you could be playing them yourself
saddest post in this thread

I've been sitting here listening through my old sound thread and wishing it was 2012 again

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How bad of a hit did your GPA take? Bad enough for academic probation? What year were you in? Did you have extensive internships/professor networking? Depending on these answers you may very well be better off not going back. Take it from a schmuck who should have dropped out, but didn't and now has a useless degree, copious amounts of student loan debt, and a shitty military "career".

I just watch them for Steph.

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my folder, I meant

its not fair bros

I have a switch and an old laptop, an hp spectre x360. I mainly used it for school and emulating F-Zero GX

Noted, thanks for the rec. Subject matter is something that I needed, so I appreciate it.

You need help.

Just wondering, what did you major in?

The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle. Read it with an open mind, and consider blocking off time contemplating it between reads. I suffer panic attacks too, and this book helped me realize alot.

It’s not my fault Stephanie is such a cutie pie.

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I think somehow im an alcoholic and i can't stop
every weekend, i find myself at home in a drunken blur

what should I do if I don't want to go to college but am also a completely dependent manchild
my dad is getting old

I've started working out.. started reading and programming again as I told you guys I'd do.
I've been training myself to stop thinking of her and of negative thoughts and focus on what I need to do which is picking myself up and setting myself straight.
Went to /adv/ to vent and read on some advice. I will continue working out, cleaning myself and reading this week too.

>no drugs, mostly just drugs

its going to get better right bros?
right?

probably not. It never seems to at least, only worse

when did people start making these threads? i swear it's been a decade now.

i thought it would get better after i got a job, but that feeling went away after a few years.

No, they won
I gave up, really, i'm just want to see where this shit is going to end

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A B.A. in Economics. Yes, I know, the irony is not lost on me. It's not to say the degree is truly worthless, even though a BS is leagues better, it's just that the piece of paper lacks meaning without the proper connections or experience, neither of which I got during my time at school.

Suck it up and learn a trade.

Doesn't seem like it.

Easiest path to employment is to go to a trade school. Learn electrical work, plumbing, welding, etc. A lot of companies will hire you with no experience, or you can get references from teachers since many of them likely know contractors in the area. Many of those schools can also have local employment opportunities that are being funded by your municipal government that you can apply for. It's still probably several thousand bucks, but cheaper than college by a long shot and you can still apply for government aid if you need help. Much of that work is hard though. A lot of moving, a lot of picking up and putting down heavy shit, and a lot of aching knees/legs/back when you're done for the day. But it is very easy work to get into as long as you aren't a dumbass.

ok fine, no ILLEGAL supplements. faggot.

yeah yeah yeah im a little bitch! im a little bitch! im a little bitch! look at me! look at me! look at me! hehehehe hohohohoho!!!

Jesus fuck how long until the school year starts up? Pizza delivery is suffering and I wanna teach again.

why do you teach?

>depressed, fat, isolated, broke, alcoholic
>get job lifting boxes
>lose weight and stop drinking
>life instantly gets better

This upcoming August was supposed to be the start of my senior year, but I didn’t have much experience with internships. My GPA got dicked because it was at a 2.86 before. Professor networking, not really; I think I’ve burned some bridges through opting not to communicate. The thing that pushed me over the edge of spiraling was receiving a very disappointed email from one of my professors this past semester about my superb performance in the class but my absence during the final.

Thank you user.

shouldnt you know that if you're a teacher you retard

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ive been getting no calls back on jobs recently. Ive applied to at least 2 dozen places, but no luck yet. Its my past biting me in the ass methinks.

Theres still hope, though. A forest ranger job that opened up recently, though. Requires a degree in physical sciences, which im about a semester away from, but im gonna try for it anyway.
I loved a video game recently, too. That was nice

Substitute Teach. Easiest money in the world. Sure it's not liveable money, but it's more than you can get in any retail gig, and in my state you don't even need to be certified to do it. You get like an hour break in your 6 or 7 hour day, and the kids are pretty fun to talk to, always got something interesting to say.

>taking that literally
that's one hell of an autism you got there

>would've graduated this year if I had stayed in college
pretend I posted a depressed looking anime girl because I'm rangebanned from posting images

i didnt go back to college until i was 31, theres still time.

>pretend I posted a depressed looking anime girl
Got you covered bro

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Thanks doc, but I got injured at work so I'm afraid I'm close to losing my job.

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For some folk it does.
For most people it doesn't.
Meh whatever man

what should I do with $60k in savings
I've been letting it sit for years because I don't have the motivation to bother learning anything about finances or investing

>ask question you know the answer to
hola reddito

>wageslaving at a warehouse and have absolutely no joy in my life.
>Video games will distract me momentarily from the suffering but I don't actually have fun anymore.
>Have no friends, no family, no hobbies or interests
>Adderall is the only thing that gets me through the day
>After I get home I drink and vape while I play Vidya for a few hours and then I knock myself out with an Ambien to rest up for another round of hell
>The very first thing I think of every day when I wake up is how badly I want to die.

GIVE ME A JOB PLEASE.

I'm trying to play Yakuza Kiwami on PC but my PS3 controller keeps disconnecting like every minute

but I never wanted to go to college in the first place, and I only managed to leave early because I got in a bad car accident and then decided to not go back
I just don't have anything else I want to do either and I could've been done with it by now, but at least I don't have a useless degree and thousands in debt like all my peers, right?

give it to me

>tfw can't just win the lottery and retire young

that will work

get out of the warehouse. find a new job now. stop drinking and playing games you dont find fun and put out more resumes.

>I'm Reddit now
Probably been here longer than you, fag.
It's like saying "man this can't come soon enough", like yeah I know how long until the school year starts fucking obviously, but it's taking so long to get there is what I meant by asking how long it takes. Hopefully that explanation quelled your autism.

Buy me a switch.

I've never had sex.

I'm finally going to take that goddamn trip to Spain on the 12th so that I can clear off any bullshit that can get in the way of me getting another job
I dunno, I guess I can start getting my life together.
Also playing Final Fantasy IX again is great, but fuck trying to get the damn chocograph pieces to get to Ozma
>inb4 just refund bro
>Iberia doesn't do that shit so easily

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should I invest in fixing up the house my dad owns so I can still live in it when he eventually dies instead of it being split between me and my brother for money?
it's got a lot of serious issues but I'm realizing I really couldn't get better and my brother can go fuck himself if he thinks I'll let him sell the house I grew up in so easily

absolutely.

Took 2 edibles, what game can I play?

>Woke up at 0400 on the fucking for and started diarrhea shorting for last twenty minutes.

Games for this feel?

Roth IRAs are solid if you're consistent and don't fuck with them. you can only put 6k into them each year, but if you do maximum contributions from 25-65, your return on investment is pretty respectable, but not mindblowing.

Dirty filthy gmt poster here, woke up 5 hours ago at 5am my time and I've already given up on the day. Just wanna sleep forever

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Get right of survivorship from your dad

If you plan on being there all your life yeah

if you wanna be one of those sad weirdos that lives in the house they grew up in, sure

See pic related, lads. The game was rigged from the start, just enjoy what you've got left.

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what's sad and weird about that?

Enjoy paying rent to your jewish landlord

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see I don't even know what the fuck a Roth IRA is
I don't even know how investing works, how the fuck does money just magically become more money? how exactly do I take money in or out of an investment? is it like a bank account?

If you've got a year left before you get your degree, it's more up to you than anything, but it sounds like you got burnt out. If you've got student loans out the ass like I do, try to find some kind of entry level work relative to your field and put a dent in those loans. Once you get your feet on the ground, go back and finish your degree (The time limit on credits is a decade, but don't quote me on that). College as an institution is fundamentally flawed. Of course you're there to make good grades and learn, but the one thing they never put enough time stressing on for rising freshmen is to start your networking the second you get out of general education classes. The hands you shake will forever Trump the grades you make. EVERY year on every college campus you have so many average schmucks get their illusions shattered after thinking graduating manga cum slut or whatever will guarantee them a job at Google or Apple. Meanwhile the Chad with a barebones 3.0 and a slew of extracurriculars gets interview after interview just because he talked to virtually everyone. It's sad.

Seeing as he's german, It's unsurprising looking at the shit he has to deal with.
Here in America things aren't that bad

You can always hope that it does, but there's no historical evidence that points towards that being the case.

I did japanese at uni for 2 years, now I'm starting to forget all of it

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Kinda fucked up my sleep schedule even though I'm usually pretty good with it.
>yesterday I pulled an all nighter and didn't go to bed until past 6 am
>woke up at 2 pm today but stayed in bed without actually getting up, fell asleep again
>woke up again at 9:30 pm and finally got up
>been up since then and now it's 5 in the morning
And I have actual shit to do later today too. I haven't even played any vidya, I turn my PC on, keep it on for a while and then just turn it back off and phonepost. I'm watching the Sopranos now

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You give someone money and they try to use it to make more money, if they do you get your money back plus more based on how well they did and how much you put in initially. "investment" is a pretty wide term, for the most part you're not inclined to just pull your money out whenever as there may be a penalty associated with that

Book a flight to Tokyo Narita and stay and work in Japan for a while to really get a kick out of the language.

I think your pic is awesome user, nostalgic, sad, terrifying
I want more

>phoneposting
>Even when you have a PC
Kill yourself.

Went to sleep at 10 and just woke up. What the fuck is wrong with me

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I have no plans for my life, I'm just realizing this house could really be one of the only safety nets I have considering how dependent on my dad I am
I've never had a job and don't even know how buying or renting a place to live works or how I would even do it, and even though it's an old piece of crap it's still my home and it is on a full acre lot
my pets are buried in the back yard for god's sake
I talked about this with him briefly before because my brother had mentioned selling it and my dad actually suggested that himself as an option, if what you said means me inheriting the house in full
like I said my brother can go fuck himself

I guess this is a question better to ask my dad but if the house isn't fully paid off when he dies would I just take up payments from there? how exactly does transferring property like that work?

mechanically its a retirement account based around stocks and bonds, you usually get it set up through brokerages or a bank, and for the financial savvy theres the option to select your own investments, although most will go for a diversified portfolio selected by the broker. They do your investments for you, and on average there's a 4-6% growth rate annually on them. Obviously nothing is 100%, but its been traditionally safer than jumping into the market directly.

I went to sleep yesterday at noon and woke up yesterday at 8 PM. Can't wait until my sleep schedule gets back there.

I definitely do need to start networking more, but it just seems so superficial/disingenuous to be whoring yourself out for the connections, but I’m sure there are techniques for that. Thanks user. Not sure I’ll be able to find any entry level work in chem or astronomy though, but I’ll see.

no the bank just lets you keep it for free

Maintaining a house isn't free. Get an income before considering that option, unless you want to make the house your income.

what the fuck did you do

As someone who actually has right of survivorship
It means that rights and responsibilities get passed on the the "survivor"
Mate just look it up on google, I'm not a lawyer

this is...sad...

Adderall has ruined my life. I go through my whole prescription in 5 days now and I can't function without it so I just spend the other 25 days of the month in perpetual stasis waiting for the refill.

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I'm about to start my sophomore year of college so I really want to try and study abroad, but with an engineering degree I'm not sure how feasible it is. If they could actually satisfy the same credits for my degree, that should do it, but I need to meet with a college advisor first. It would probably be amazing at least.

>trip to spain to discover myself
is this a meme? where are you from?

Maybe one day
Why do people get so triggered at phoneposting? I don't spam or anything I'm just a lazy cunt, I like to post laying down

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ive been in the warehouse pits for a year now

you meet some real interesting individuals here but my god i need to go to school again

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you need dinero my boy

not only for paying off the house but also for shit like property taxes, utilities, in case anything breaks down, etc

if you're serious about japanese i recommend you don't skip the speaking, even though it fucking sucks to do sometimes. i put off speaking and my skills went to shit

same dude, except it was community college because young me was a shithead who didn't care about grades and college. i'm thinking about going in for a third year but i'm worried i just won't remember shit well enough to pass.

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years ago my parents made me meet with a guy at our bank to talk about setting up something like that, he gave me a bunch of paper work about what he thought would be a good set of places to put my money into and told me to do a little research before deciding for sure, if I remember right I think it was around 3-5% per year like you mentioned since I told him I didn't want to take any risks and wasn't planning on touching it for a while
this was years ago and I still never got back to him

in my experience you only meet depressed people in warehouses. its fucking cancer. you go in there and hear the same crusty people bitch about the same crusty problems without fixing them. everyone's miserable and hates their job, no one does anything to make it better. ive never been in a warehouse where people aren't just miserable constantly.

>Why do people get so triggered at phoneposting
Phoneposts are of generally lower quality and you often see people saying "stupid autocorrect" or "I'd post an image, but I'm on my phone", not to mention that it's much easier to ban-evade on a phone, meaning that phoneposters are much more prone to rampant shitposting.
Phoneposting was a mistake.

People who travel the world to "discover themselves" are indeed retards.

this guy gets it, you could always rent that house out to some family or something and never have to work ever again dude, you might be in a pretty good spot if you hang on to that house

just don't be a cunt landlord, fix their shit if it breaks

i wasnt being serious but yes you're very correct.

I don't like self-diagnosing but I'm pretty sure I have some kind of ADD or ADHD, even my family suspected it when I was young. Maybe I should have gotten diagnosed as a kid, I don't think adderall is some magic pill that would've made me perfect but maybe it would have helped me then.
I fucking wish I could at least get a warehouse job
>hand out shit ton of resumes
>the few applications I get interviews for I never get

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>all these sleepless nights I put into my stem degree in aerospace engineering
>sometimes wonder if I will fail when I've come so far.

I doubt know if I can do it anons.

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>you go in there and hear the same crusty people bitch about the same crusty problems without fixing them
You're obviosly one of them when it's exactly what you did here.

>make the house your income
what does that mean
are you bullshitting me
obviously, but I would need that money for utilities and such for a random shitty apartment too instead of an okay house
that's why I asked if it was worth investing to try and fix stuff now before it's too late
also I don't understand how taxes work in general

I just want love, bros.

you can literally just talk to a psychologist and they'll give you a test, if you want to try it.

Hang in there cunt.

not every system works for everyone, so my recommendation is talk to some experts in your area. If you've been with your bank for a long time, speak with someone at their location. Maybe get a consultation with a securities attorney near you. Don't accept what the first person tells you, especially not me. I don't know your circumstances so i cant help you much more than pointing you in a direction.

>what does that mean
Rent it out, or rent out parts of it. Depending on your location it's either a very viable option or not feasible at all.

None of that shit
My family owns two apartments in Spain and we generally like to go there since Iberia has fantastic prices on Premium Economy and we have a ton of family there.
Essentially what happened was this:
>Book trip in august or a little earlier in 2018
>I still had a job by then
>Quit job around late august
>go through rest of year trying and having a shit college semester spent online
>spring semester comes by
>I want a job
>apply for a lot of jobs
>finally get an interview in March this year
>explain that I have this trip coming all the way in July and I'm willing to do it all unpaid
>mind you I explained that I am competent and I am a good worker, blah, blah
>Get call back, didn't get job
>I think you know why
>try to ask parents to get me off the flight
>they wont take me off because Iberia will not refund my ticket
>so my ass has to fly to Spain and back or else no fucking employer will set aside time for me to go
>So here I am waiting for this shit to go on so that I can get a move on
Trust me, I "discovered" myself in my old dorm when I was at my lowest and asking for death, not in some goddamn trip

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youtube.com/watch?v=nqJPxjPjjJE

Retard. I quit that shit the minute I could. I tried to keep a part time warehouse job to stay in shape without having to go to a gym (why pay for a gym when I can get paid to lift boxes?) but every single place I've gone was just a miserable cesspit so I left.

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>are you bullshitting me
Was obviously sarcastic, stop being autistic.

familial love? romantic love? self-love?

Keep at it.
I dropped out of computer engineering and have regretted it for years.
If you have to, change majors.

>I fucking wish I could at least get a warehouse job
wait for september/october. UPS, fedex, purolator, etc are a fucking revolving door in the fall leading into the christmas rush. It's going to be the hardest job you've ever done in your life but you can get your foot in there if you can stick it out.

you can and you must, don't you see the misery in this thread? as a wageslave i learn too late that one of the most important things in life is working in something you care/love, gl user

>aerospace engineering
Unironically really fucking cool. I believe in you user, you can do this.
Is that a purdue degree I see?

One of my top favorite Eurobeat songs.
The second is what I really want, and would ideally lead to the third and, after having children, the first.

I'm saying I already did that at the behest of my parents, but didn't have the motivation to follow through with it and look into anything

Maybe look into chemical lab technician jobs in your area. Stuff that certainly would be well below your bargaining point once you have your degree, but at the same time it's experience to get you in the door. Might even be able to outright put that you've got enough credit hours to warrant an associate's so as to make you look better in the eyes of HR.
>but it just seems so superficial/disingenuous to be whoring yourself out for the connections
That will forever be the hard part for people who aren't outwardly extroverted or downright sociopathic, but it's to be expected. Rubbing elbows isn't always to make lifelong colleagues, rather a slew of people who will scratch your back if you scratch theirs. It's a generic barebones suggestion, but look into How to Win Friends and Influence People. The trick lies with finding the fine line between being approachable, but not a doormat. Never found it myself, and look at your me now. Having to field constant questions from everyone around me why "I enlisted and didn't go officer". Someone kill me please.

> the piece of paper lacks meaning without the proper connections or experience
Yeah this is really scaring me right now. It's my last year in university so I really need to find an iternship soon but I just don't have the motivation to get started on projects and improve my resume. I'm also having second thoughts if software engineering is something I even want to do for the rest of my life.

Why would you need a job when your family is rich as fuck?

You wont find romantic love these days
But your parents and grandparents will always love you user.
My grandmother is practically gone because Alzheimers but she still has her love for me deep down

I wish I had the discipline for Aerospace Engineering. I'm too much of a chickenshit to do it because I suck at College Algebra

Never gonna make it with the wolves, kid.

You guys ever feel hungry, but you really don't want to eat?

How do I get over being such a jealous or envious fag? When I see an user bragging about having a successful job, or getting a gf(even if it's a male).or when I see ecelebs and youtubers flaunting their wealth despite being douchebags, Its enough to ruin my day and make me feel like shit.

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Not rich
just opportunistic, we got em during the housing crash in spain and they're not in a city. Also my grandparents left a good sum of money for my dad

I would if I could user
I could do that but it'd more have to be roommates if I'm still living there since the house is only one floor

All the time.

i have visions of beating people to death every time someone talks about politics on the video game board. i imagine if i could just get my hands on these teenagers just one time I'd beat them until they promise to never talk about politics ever again.

just having the piece of paper will get you the interview. without it you're shit out of luck. i've been working in my field for 15+ years and have a lot of clients, but I couldn't get an interview at a firm if my life depended on it because I don't have that piece of paper. Just get it and be done with it.

no

>tfw father is dead
>tfw only grandparent left is crazy and not herself anymore
>tfw poor relationship with mother
I just want a wife, bros. I want to believe a woman is out there for me.

I was never in control

Literally stop comparing yourself to them.

I need my wisdom teeth out but my agiraphobia is so bad I cant even leave my house.

Last November I got an xray proving I dont have an infection and they have some info on what to do.

My shit neighbours got new dogs and things are even worse because my ears are fucked because I am autistic.

I started a new game plus on hackers memory.

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appreciate what you have, even if it's not a lot at the moment, and focus on yourself, not others. Life's not a competition.

what is control

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live your own life faggot

better start learning to love yourself
or at least make peace with yourself.

Go to a third world and get one.

No. I'm hoping to transfer to UTArlington cause they got an AE program. I got through Calculus 1-3 now all I need is University Physics. Thankfully the Community college is well known and has a good rep with fair pricing, so I wont have to take loans when I get there. Also hoping since it's near DFW I can get internships at Lockheed or Boeing.

i am going on a date later. wish me luck Yea Forums

no

I'm not of the belief that the second can lead to the 3rd, personally. You have to meet it at least halfway. Self-doubt is normal, it affects everyone. Self-loathing, self-hatred, those will eat away at everything you have, no matter how good it is.

Do you call yourself an idiot or loser or what not when you're by yourself? If you do, that is one of the first things you can change to improve your life. It sounds retarded, but it genuinely works. Start hyping yourself up. When you do something cool, call yourself out on it. Instead of thinking "im an idiot for doing this" start thinking along the lines of "well, that didnt work, lets try something else." and when something does work? celebrate

good luck user, you can do it.

post your 4am song i'll start
youtube.com/watch?v=53N99Nim6WE

Good luck, bro.
I'm a very private guy. I would never insult myself in front of others, and often speak arrogantly. I'd rather others think I was arrogant than think I hated myself.
I don't know if I hate myself. But I don't think I really love myself.
Thanks for being there, Yea Forums. Talking about this stuff, even just to you strangers, really does help, though I could never do so out loud.

Keep the conversation going, pal. 5 emergency topics in case there's an awkward silence.

>Get prescribed ritalin
>Just sit around masturbating all day

you got this

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youtube.com/watch?v=lj06pRMO9hM

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Try not to choke on her cock in your first date

Oddly relaxing, this one:
youtu.be/Rl7ysc0IlM4

It is almost 5a and I have been out of bed for maybe half an hour. My first day off for the week so today is my Saturday, debating on what I want to play. Been playing a lot of Epic Battle Fantasy 5 lately, liking that a lot but it is getting tough. 29 and still alone, craving the sweet release of death as existence in the mortal coil is suffering. Defending my Master's thesis Tuesday so I hope to find a nice job soon that will provide financial stability.

>tfw my M.A. program is also AE but in a completely different academic field

yeah yeah yeah i know where this is going how big is its dick user

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I really appreciate your advice, user. My inexperienced ass doesn’t have much to offer but my hope for you that things start going your way.

I'm lucky to even have this job. I'm just going to do this for as long as I can and then neet for a while and then hopefully kill myself but but most likely do the same thing repeatedly for the foreseeable future

Not sure if I should ask here, but have any of you guys made textures for your own games? I want to make something with PS2-level artistry but I have no idea if it's even possible for one guy who doesn't make art.

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youtube.com/watch?v=6OFv566mj7s

Just relax user, show her how much of a man you are

life is hard for almost everyone. In this weird microcosm of society consisting of NEETs and fags, its good to talk about issues we have, or even good things, precisely because we don't like to talk about it in public. But if even one person can make it out of a bad situation because of our past/present suffering, i think its worth it. Gives me hope that maybe me or you will be the next one to make it, someday.

Best Kingdom Hearts boss.

Where the hell do I find a GF? Everyone's a stranger at college.

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just apply for a job literally right now. you're not doing anything but bitching on Yea Forums. if an employer sees you're working you can get a job at some retail store. go apply at a paint store or a car parts place or some shit. they just don't want neets. that's why only warehouses would hire you.

don't use tinder. use bumble and hinge.

Here you go
youtu.be/u1mUiAjHzAI

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you're retarded and no, someone who can't into art isn't going to be able to make "ps2 level artistry"

I'm too awkward to take the initiative, at least as a kid I would've had the excuse of being with a parent. Funny enough it almost did happen, my mom actually made an appointment and took me when I was around 10 but I was such a spaz back then I got pissed and refused to go. But thanks anyway, maybe soon I'll stop being a pussy and do it.

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Good luck to you user. I'm sure you'll make it with no drama to hold you back

Do the old fashion thing. Join a special interest club.

is it a big campus or a community college? Are you living on site or on your own? Itll be a different experience for everyone, but it can be harder depending on which type of school you're going to. if you want to meet people, you have to extend yourself a bit, get yourself out there. Tutoring groups, public events, mingling with classmates. Just network where you can and dont go full autist like i did.

>havent had a friend in years
>just spend all day isolated and thinking
>became all weird and self conscious and introspective
>now i can literally barely talk to other people or function without over analyzing and being in control of everything i do from posture to body language to sweating to eye contact
>all the while wondering if other people are having the same thoughts as me and if someone's full of bullshit and i see through it, i wonder if they can see through it when i bullshit too
Lads I think I gave myself autism I wasn't like this before

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You don't have to be so FUCKING rude about it

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I'm pretty sure I have some kind of eating disorder, particularly binge eating but yeah, that happens

Any you recommend?

My dad has this problem.

>living in tranny coast
consider mass murder and relocation program

I'm also awkward and retarded. The doctor gave me a sheet to give to a friend for them to fill out about my behaviour and what they notice. Had to tell her point blank I don't have any friends. Short pain/embarrassment for a lot of gain.

That being said, don't get on ADD medication you will use it as a crutch for sure.

I guess the cure is to go talk to people.

you learned it, you can unlearn it. it wont be easy, but you can do it. What hobbies do you have? would there be like-minded people near you, or in your online circles?

>is it a big campus or a community college? Are you living on site or on your own?
Community college. I live with my parents. About to turn 20 years old.

>dont go full autist like i did.
May I ask how you did it?

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youtu.be/5abamRO41fE

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Happened to me too, when I spent 2 years out of highschool being a NEET and talking to literally no one. Having a job helps, I also got a therapist and signed up for group therapy which seems to help also. It's still hard, though, especially since I used to be pretty charismatic and now I feel like a fucking alien.

same

thats exactly how i feel
i think i broke my ego or something
im pretty sure this is all a simulation though so whatever for all I know it's just some dickhead out there on a computer editing an ini file or something

who /phimosis/ here

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Just stretch it bro.

i tried but the hole just gets smaller i quit while i can still at least pee through it

>gf dumped out of nowhere a few days ago to go back to her ex
>been desperately trying to keep myself busy all the time because if i dont i start thinking about her and feeling like shit
>cant concentrate enough to play any vidya or do anything
>can barely sleep and eat
>while im here being miserable, she's probably all happy and lovey with him and doesnt even remember i exist anymore
I dont even want her back anymore, i just want it to stop hurting

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4 am? Where? Australia?

You got to do it every day, bro. It gets smaller because you took too long of a break. Gotta stretch it 3 times a day for about 15 minutes.

MOUNTAIN TIME BAYBEEE

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Nothing extreme really. Just the norm.

When i finally went back to college, it was also a community college scenario, but i wouldn't talk to anyone unless it was required for classwork. i would wake up, go to class, do my work, go immediately home or to work,and that was the end of it. Admittedly, being about 7-8 years older than the new students didn't help. I would actively ignore study group invites, passed up on clubs and public events at the school, and basically sat in a corner my entire time in school. Eventually the people just stopped coming to me.

Been there, but it wasn't her ex, it was another guy. All because I've spent most of my time working instead of being with her.

None of my relationships worked, had a cute Ukrainian gf, dumb as a brick, not even that one worked well for me.

only 15 minutes though thats so inconvinient why cant i just leave it in

Why is it so hard to go outside and do new things? I hate myself

I can't fucking take being a virgin anymore.

Workout, charm your ex's ex, send her video of you fucking his ass

Your hole is too small, bro. Once it's big enough you can put a silicone tube in it and leave it.

i know that feel i just know that if i go with them to their groups ill be the shy quiet one and ill just sit there being silent and awkward and probably turn red

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how old are you?

anons is mobile depositing a check reliable

but the silicone tube is what made it smaller i stretched it and left it over night then i popped it out and it was way tighter than before

Yes? Why wouldn't it be? Are you a retard that some how has spyware on their phone?

It works fine if you have BoA

there is only one fix for this kind of shit, user. Time. As much as we dislike the flow of time, it does give us perspective. Eventually, you'll be whole enough to enjoy again.
When my mom died, the only things i did for 3 months was go to work, sleep, eat, and play Kerbal Space Program.

In the meantime, Even if its something braindead to let your mind wander, id recommend doing it. Don't force yourself, but try to distract yourself.

Works for me, through a credit union. I've heard of people having to wait a few days, though.

I'm doing that right now. Going to community college, getting great grades, but doing nothing else. I wake up, shower, sit at my PC for a few hours, go to my classes, get home, and sit at my PC until I go to sleep every day, except on days when I have no classes, when I just sit at my PC all day.
I'm 18, so I guess I'm not too far gone, but what am I supposed to do? I don't need a study group, since I work best alone. I have no real interests. Should I do something when I start at a 4-year college in Spring to finish my degree? What should I do?

Just go out and rape a stray cat. It's not that hard.

21

It's normal to be fairly quiet when you first join a group. The important part is to just not spill your spaghetti when people try to talk to you. Stay on task for whatever the group is supposed to be doing until you get a feel for the people around you and you'll naturally get to know the people you'll get along with, who may eventually become your friends.

I know legit 40 yo virgins. You still have time.

Listened to this album so many times
Thanks for giving me another reason to listen again, user

Sounds abnormal. Seek professional help.

>BoA
I meant Chase.

I don't get why so many people care about sex. Find something that actually makes you happy, shoot for that.
inb4 virgin

>I don't need a study group, since I work best alone.
thats your problem retard, you arent making friends because you just isolate yourself. who gives a shit about "working best alone". go talk to someone before you graduate and wind up with 0 friends from college.

trust me

For years I’ve been making pudding at 4am and this year I’ve pushed harder to get out of this hole. But now I just don’t know what the next step is. Instead of waiting for passion to find me I want to just choose a thing I do well and follow that for a bit, but I don’t know how to get past the “shitty retail job doesn’t pay enough and I don’t have skills to get hired anywhere so I can move out” phase.

Fuck me

Ah same here
never had a girlfriend in my life either, welcome to the club

gotta start somewhere. while some are naturally outgoing, for many its just a skill that has to be honed. Listening is an important skill in social circles, too. Its something you can work with. Being one of those autists who can only talk and not listen is way worse than the quiet ones, so i wouldn't be too worried. Give it a shot, you might enjoy yourself.

no real interests you say? What do you do on your PC all day?

>The important part is to just not spill your spaghetti
Thats the reason I just dont talk because I dont know how to talk and just wind up saying autistic shit no one gets because my only interaction is Yea Forums's super shitposty ironic humor

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i lost my spellbook at 25. I never would've expected it to happen then, either. You'd be surprised what can happen. Don't get frustrated about something so small.

well first of all, don't move out you dum dum. get a retail job and start saving. that's step one. once you're sick of that job you will have already figured out what you want to do, because when you hate your work it's really easy to figure out something else you'd rather be doing. go get a retail job. you're not above it.

It sure doesn't feel like it.
I have no friends or connections to introduce me anymore. Cut all ties with everyone once HS ended and i've made no friends since. I spend all day home alone and I feel like i've lost the ability to talk.
Besides, in that age, it's expected that you have some amount of experience, even if a girl magically appears and has an interest in me, she won't teach and babysit a manchild like me.

28, got to third base with my cousin when i was 20 but whenever i'd slide my hand down she'd stop me no idea why she let me take her panties off in the first place
A few years later she had a mental breakdown and ran through the woods naked so i like to think she was in the wrong all along

Yea Forums, vidya, anime, etc.
Nothing I could ever discuss in public. I could never join a videogame or anime club.

Ah yes, the dead end phase. It gets millions every day. I suggest a trade job for a year or two to accumulate money

You have two realistic options as an unmotivated depressed 20-something.

>take out loans and go to college
(Which isn't actually as bad as people make it out. Student loans don't affect your credit for shit and you can file an extension for 4 years straight before making a payment, as many times as you'd like - meaning you can pay once every 5 years)
>join a trade
I went for this route and I hate it but I'm making 16/hr with ~9 months of experience despite being shit at my job, so it's a valid option. Look for smaller places that are family owned, walk in and ask to be an apprentice/trainee/helper. There's a decent chance they'll hire you on the spot (this happened to me 3 times).

anyone else self conscious about their voice and get pannicky when they start talking because you dont know if you're being too loud or too quiet or mumbling or if you're being incoherent with your run on thoughts

I always start a sentence then get self conscious and start thinking about how to speak while I'm talking and it makes me get marble mouth and sound like a retard

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Probably diddled as a kid

gabbies are one of the few things that still make me feel happy

Don't be picky. I've had girls giving me hints and I ignored them all to chase retards with blue eyes.

Literally had a girl sitting next to me and my friends telling me "I'm waiting for (me) to ask me to be his gf" and I my answer was "nah".

Now I'm old, most of my friends are married and I'm not.

>I have no friends or connections to introduce me anymore. Cut all ties with everyone once HS ended and i've made no friends since. I spend all day home alone and I feel like i've lost the ability to talk.
HOW THE FUCK DO I GET OUT OF THIS TRAP ANONS IM 23 AND TIME IS RUNNING OUT

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social cues and interactions are learned, user. Spend a little bit of time with these folks, learn how they talk, try to relax, and try not to shitpost too hard IRL. And remember that not every failure is yours. No matter how friendly you are, there will be someone who doesn't want to interact with you. That's not on you.

>23

Well, I hope you get things started, because the more you wait the close you get to "you will die with no friends" phase. If by 26-27 you haven't made strong buddy brother friends you're fucked for life, because many start to move on, go full normalfag, marry, have kids, have less friends of their own due to family sucking away their soul, and you're fucked.
Your chances to make friends through hobbies past the age of 20 are already sub-20% because most of these people already have their friends and don't need you, while you're bankrupt and need them. Get moving or it's the end.

i'm in the same trap, it's all ogre user

making genuine friends as an adult is notoriously difficult, especially in the modern age

Haven't had the time, money, and most importantly confidence to ask out women.
which is strange because I have had some success and had a girl ask me out during my time at the old uni.
I guess the women here really are shit

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it's called social anxiety and yeah its fucking terrible

it gets better with exposure

are you also an oldfag that fell for the hide your power level meme? i remember high school, the loud "THAT KID" retards that would read manga and be super obnoxious weebs. Looking back, I kind of wish I never had the heads up to hide that shit. They were obnoxious and everyone hated them, but they were at least secure in their hobbies. Now I'm a shameful man with interests he can't talk about so no one can relate to me.

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Christ are you me?
I have a speech issue and i was raised bilingual ontop of that so my accent is fucked entirely on both languages.
I can't fucking talk to people and I get nervous and stutter and have to repeat myself when even talking to cashiers

>I could never join a videogame or anime club.
Why? Because it would embarrass you in front of the normalfags you're not talking to anyway? Those clubs are probably full of retard autists like you and me who will accept you for what you are. You can make decent friends there.

I miss the indianaposter

29 i only got blowjobs and i got a cute gf she says she was asexual but i guess she have some problems soo, you still have time 21 and viring why americans care about being a viring. go fuck some whore and end the suffering

I went out to a barcade with no expectations other than to play some games and peoplewatch. I had a good pint of beer and got bored of the cabs and pinball quickly so I spent three hours walking around downtown.

I was only reassured that my nice comfy solitary life is what makes me happy. I'm not shy and a few natural conversations struck up between myself and strangers, but it was really only the ones with people behind counters that felt pleasant and meaningful. I got hit up by a bunch of homeless guys who were ignored or snubbed by everyone else and listened to them and gave them money because I don't really do anything for other people that often, but I couldn't imagine having a regular "night out" life and dealing with the expenses of drinks and then getting solicited by guys on the regular.

Furthermore, most groups of people were just kind of sad to see, because the way they acted around each other resembled something more along the lines of "people I can go out with so I'm not alone" than "friends I enjoy spending time with."

Oh well, it was a very relaxing experience overall, it's impossible to deny that urge to be surrounded by society and interactions, and I'm happy I'm not one of those insecure guys who hates myself for not living like all of those other people do.

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im 33 years old. I was in a way worse spot than you are in right now. I lost my high school friends after graduation in 2004. I was an autistic NEET before Yea Forums even showed up to be an excuse. 10 years ago i was hopeless, my only interactions with the public were going to Gamestop to buy new video games and my guild in Everquest. Eventually i couldnt take it anymore, and in 2011 i got my first job at a call center. It sucked ass, and It took a while, but im now to the point where im still an autist, but i have new friends. Im still weird but I can meet strangers and find common ground. Ive even reached the point where I help operate an anime convention in the midwest. Shit i never thought possible. If someone who was hopeless like me can pull it off, you can too.

Yeah, look at shit today. Everyone damn kid is into anime and video games.

What's your favourite way of coping, Yea Forums? Tripping on acid once a week is what does it for me.

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>Furthermore, most groups of people were just kind of sad to see, because the way they acted around each other resembled something more along the lines of "people I can go out with so I'm not alone" than "friends I enjoy spending time with."

I always think this too, but I think I might be wrong. How sure are you?

Which convention so I can see you and the miracle you became

video games

they're no longer filling the void

i feel like if all of us who are isolated friendless weirdos who feel like aliens talked to eachother more wed be a lot less sad
funny how that works

did you really find friends user or are you just calling your co workers friends? actually curious if its possible to make new friends at 25+

For me it's weed and adderall because I have a prescription for adderall and can buy weed at the store because it's legal. I don't have any friends so I can't find any acid but I'd love to do it more. Used to do it when I had friends all the time.

Drawing, i got no following whatsoever but i still enjoy doing it anyway, unfortunately i don't always feel like doing it

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video games
anime
alcohol
Yea Forums
flying(if I can get back to it)
airplane models and figmas

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I've had the sudden urge to play Banished for a couple of hours.
Not too bad.

I did that for a while, before that I smoked weed every day, afterwards I drank every day, then I developed a coke habit, then I went to rehab, now I play videogames and jerk off a lot.

Video games.
Work

Masturbation.

>finally get ADD meds last year
>at the point now where I take them just to function
My heart is probably fucked isnt it

I can't stop thinking about her

its an anime convention in Kentucky. Theres only a couple, so pretty easy to guess

My first job didnt actually provide me with friends, since it was mostly old ladies and pregnant women. I didn't meet my current group of friends until after 2010. one of my friends kind of forced themselves into my life, but i'm thankful for it. What started as one eventually led to more, and now i regularly talk to about 25 people, and hang out with about a dozen. Admittedly its gotten harder as theyve been getting married and had kids. I met several through D&D, many through the convention.

She stopped thinking about you. Just take a look at her Facebook. :3

Where do I get acid?

im gonna do it bros
im gonna go back and get my academic high school credits (just got basic so i could graduate before)
then im gonna bet an MBA
im gonna do it this time i swear

Nope

guys do you sometimes just go to sleep because you have nothing else to do and tommorow atleast the quests reset in your games?

do you also walk around the house when alone and talk to yourself pretending to talk with your class mates from 4 years ago?

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Drug dealers.
I always met mine through work.

It has been a while since we had a thread like this. You just have to wait til kids will grow up then despair begins

i believe in you, user. Life's a tough road, but you can do it

By special interest I mean something you enjoy or find interest that at campus, like the Jesus Pray Club.

You got to be kidding user. They're casuals in every club. And if the club has been there for a while they would know how to bring people in and bridge different groups together.

I think it's partly a matter of perspective. Personally, I value having only a few people I'm close with, but deep and engaging friendships with each of them. So when I see people that are enjoying themselves, but clearly are acting in a way indicating that they're really not familiar with how others around them operate, instead just trying not to commit any faux pas, it appears anything but genuine to me.

However, that's just how many other people see friendships, as they value knowing they have a good many people around them that feels like a community, even if they're really not familiar with many/a majority of them.

There are definitely instances where you can see that people are insecure about living their own lives and just gather with other people to feel some kind of completeness and meaning, and that's really disheartening.

Of course, I also saw a good few people who looked at each other in the way two familiar and mutually engaging people do, but it wasn't very common with the young crowds (college age especially).

I'm too much of a sperg to find drug dealers.

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>tfw you feel mentally like the same 16 year old you were in high school
>look in mirror
>you're 27 now

>playing gacha/mmo
I think you have some pretty deep problems there

Stop taking meth pills user, it's bad for you.

#
I want to join a club but I feel like a fraud.
I like videogames but, honestly, I've only played a handful and I can't be assed to play huge things I've missed like MGS now.
I watch a ton of movies, mostly before the 80's and pretty obscure themselves but I still feel like if I go to a club, they'll all start talking about literally who taiwanese directors or something and I'll look like an idiot.
I want to join a music club but I just listen to dadrock so i'll have smug pricks who jerk off to Bach or play music themselves.

i cant say i ever did the 2nd one, but I would sleep during my NEET days precisely because i knew i couldn't solo random mobs in EverQuest and so i had to wait for someone else to log in before I could try.

This holy shit I just want release from reality

Or amazon holiday season. Also, employment agency. The work always sucks but they’ll find you something

computers case fan is dying. pain in the ass

Lexington? I'll meet you there, nigga. I'll be dressed as kuwabara.

I'd say diet, exercise, monitor your sleep patterns, etc. because your conditions should improve after 3 weeks quitting cold turkey. There has to be something else wrong. I know amphetamines have a long withdrawal period but zero improvements in 3 weeks?

You can order it off the internet through TOR, but it's a lot more difficult than it used to be. At bare minimum, you need a good VPN run through a virtual machine and preferably have it sent to a PO box that doesn't have your name on it. The last part is optional though, I've known people who have had no problems having it delivered directly to their house.

you're thinking about it way too much
if someone is smug at you for not listening to bach laugh in their face and call them a retard

I swear time has been in fast forward since

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Well yeah because it's like why play this vidya or why read this book if it's going to be better on the meds

honestly, that just sounds like Yea Forums, excepting Yea Forums because we dont like vidya around here.
Yea Forums is just a bunch of autists circlejerking about the latest foreign kino
Yea Forums is a bunch of retards judging people who've listened to anything that was top 40 hit in the last century.

I still think it might be worth a try, user.

>I still haven't found an adequate answer to "Why do I have to wake up and work for someone else every day?"
Because there isn't one. It's a fucked up system.

I think it's because in school every year was super distinct with new classmates, new subjects, new teachers, etc so it was really easy to remember who you were with and what your life was like in those individual 12 years. But then when you're out of school it's just day in day out of whatever you're doing.

>its not that bad
kek

Woke up about an hour ago playing mhgen. Was waiting for people to join my dreadqueen room. But two showed up now ayy.

if i dont see you there, i might see you in Owensboro next June. Im going as Anavel Gato

Not him, but my depression will keep me awake for ungodly lengths of time unless I take sleeping pills. I keep having these negative, self-hating thoughts about myself, and they make me feel like I don't deserve to get comfortable and fall asleep. I guess it's like I'm punishing myself. I only fall asleep if I'm completely exhausted to the point that I have no choice, or if I've taken at least four or five sleeping pills.

the trick is to keep doing new things. Perception of time speeds up as things become routine. like said, large differences in experience end up slowing everything down, so experience new things.

i have the opposite problem where the existential dread keeps me awake for as long as possible

Ah I see. Though having good cardio improves adderall in my experience. Try to stay healthy in every way you can, the high you'll receive later will be better. And if you can sustain an interest in something, even if it's through force of will, just imagine how much more of an interest you'll have on the high.

My buddy brother friends already started going full normalfag marrying and shit . Having families. And they’re all from my hometown

Being ugly is basically playing in hard mode. Being ugly, poor, dumb and ESL is basically playing a bullet hell on infinite mode.

I don't play vidya as much anymore, though it's mainly cause I was focusing on college and my main PC is fucked and my craptop can't handle that much. I just obsessively daydream constantly now. Though I have actually been watching some shows, movies and reading some books from my watch/read list recently, so there's that.

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those are all great excuses to just not try user if that's what you're looking for. or you can stop being a bitch and fix the things you can, and the rest will fall into place.

>Here in America things aren't that bad
Yeah, they're worse.

bros one of my best friends just texted me for the first time in years to ask if id be his best man and idk what to do

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Not try? I tried a lot, I was even working two jobs at one point just to keep a girl and she left me. She told me she spent the night crying because of me but she was already with another dude.

I lost my self esteem, can't fucking find the courage to try again.

You don't want to be a filthy casual do you?

>>do you also walk around the house when alone and talk to yourself pretending to talk with your class mates from 4 years ago?
>was never a popular normalfag or anything but at least had a close group of friends when I was younger, all liked video games and other nerd shit
>my family moved far away
>still occasionally visited them but drifted apart
>tfw sometimes daydream about if I had stayed and us doing stupid teenager shit in high school
I mean most of them grew up to be normalfags anyways but it's still nice to wonder

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I'm 21 and not in uni, but I went to the local uni and was welcomed to hang out with groups like the anime club and smash club, which were fun in concept.

The reality of special interest clubs that aren't centered around something super specific is that people will only really bond when they have interactions that go on outside of the club as well as in the club. Otherwise it's just an environment where you're doing something you could very well enjoy alone but choosing to do it around other people who metaphorically signed the same social contract. That and you have to deal with the needs of everyone being catered to when it comes to things like anime club. Not everyone's going to see what they want when around others in the club, and if you're not somehow becoming invested with people, it's going to be really hard to sit and put yourself through some of the things other people want to watch.

The strongest evidence that things just aren't right is when instead of natural conversations and quality relaxed time spent among the club members when not doing a club oriented activity, a social game is played as a vehicle for interaction, be it mafia or jackbox games. It's painful for me.

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I hate how most people in this site simply exist to make others angry. They dont even have their own opinions, they just make them up on the spot to piss people off.
How the fuck is that contributing to anything? Why do you people enjoy this?
Its fucking beyond me.

do it. He's making a big leap in his life, and he wants you to be there for him. The fact that he thought of you at all means that he wants to reconnect.

I have the opposite problem. I eat compulsively even when I'm not hungry, because that's the only thing that makes my negative thoughts go away for a few minutes. Then I feel miserable and hate myself for what I did, which ironically makes me do it again.

Writing about lovey dovey romance.
Vidya with pals.
Slowly trying to get fit.

Say yes you moron, you won't regret being there in one of the most special moments of his life plus you might get to meet easy single chicks that are desperate to get a man themselves

I don't wanna go to work tomorrow anons
I'm scared

This gives me Nam flashbacks to class introductions.

but im so weird and awkward now and i have never been to a wedding let alone been a part i dont even own a suit

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We've reached the terminal point of anonymity. Falseflagging is the only way some people seem to be able to use anonymity as a means of communication while coping with their own disappointment and frustration within themselves.

i'm also gonna ask this but for getting a bf. i'm 19 with absolutely no experience in how to make relationships with people. no clue how to actually ask people out without worrying it might make them hate me, same for asking if they're also gay.
probably doesn't help that i don't look particularly attractive.

a lot of folks on Yea Forums are broken. some of them are more fucked up than others. Some enjoy making others miserable, presumably because it gets them a brief moment of attention.

r u cute

gay people will shag anything just get a gay dating app

>probably doesn't help that i don't look particularly attractive
reading comprehension

You can always rent a suit if you have to, thats not an issue. The best man's job is to make sure the Groom makes it to the aisle, help out with some tasks, usually give a toast, and be the best friend you can be to this man who wants you to be there for him.

Same. I just want a bf.

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Mfw 4 am, just got to work

>usually give a toast

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>reading
where do you think you are?

Should I?

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I always think of myself as a tier above autistic weebs who wear game shirts and have neck beards and think I'm just bordering normalfag but then I had the thought that the neckbeards probably see themselves the same way I see myself and it's made me really insecure and kind of ruined my life the past 3 years

its always sounds worse than it is. most toasts consist of a brief story about the groom or the couple, maybe one or two things, and wishing the best for them. You have a few months, right? you can always talk to him about the content if you aren't sure, and there's no rule against having it written down.

I kinda just realized I have PTSD. I shouldn't be having nightmares about things that happened 3 years ago, nor should it be on my mind every day.

I still think of things that happened 15 years ago.

lol

I just got back from the wedding. The best man said some mundane shit and can be easily forgotten by most people except the man himself. The toast and the words are for him.

>"I've never seen [redacted] so happy for meeting [redacted]. I've known him for 20 years and this is the happiest I've seen him. Congratulation [redacted] and [redacted]"

Well yeah, but that's not what I meant.

What does having a nightmare feel like as an adult? I haven't had one since I was 7, 14 years ago, and it was just silly in retrospect.

everyone remembers the time they felt like shit user you dont have ptsd fuck off stop looking for excuses to be a fuck up

>shut-in depressed autistic neet still living with parents
>moving to a new place soon
>sleep schedule is constantly fucked up
>if i manage to fix it it gets ruined in like a day because my body just feel tired enough to sleep at a proper time
>attempting to learn japanese but my anki sessions have been feeling not as productive, usually taking 2 hours now to do my daily session
>no real skills or talents

i'm having fun playing ballisticng though and the summer anime season seems solid

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i've been thinking something recently Yea Forums, why is it that the exact same sensation that comes from soap is also experienced when washing dry cum off, I'm thinking (((someone))) is putting something in something

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lmao

It feels like you woken up with a foreboding feeling. For me, I had one where my parents died, I worked up with tears marks and feeling pretty tired.

Enjoy your earthquakes, friendo :^)

depends, are massively receding hairlines cute?
you say that, but i've had people on grindr block me in the exact second i give a facepic. the only other people that message me are creepily old men

>be me
>26
>Work dead end job at gas station
>Be entry level management
>Store manager keeps pushing me to sell my soul to company because I’m not a braindead retard like all other employees
>video games slowly losing appeal because every game is the same shit
>dropped out of college because girls
Anons why did I allow pussy to control my life? I could have a career by now if I stayed in college.

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maybe you just need a change of pace. Are you urban or rural?

I think this is the soul-crushing reality of the post-highschool social life. A lot of us are just let out to dry by our peers in education, old friends, and even family. I was just 'expected' to know what to do next in life and not fuck up - and things should just be fine. But that wasn't the case when I dropped out and ended up in a warehouse job, trying again from what feels like the bottom with no friends, no girlfriend, just here back at home.

>Happened to me too, when I spent 2 years out of highschool being a NEET and talking to literally no one. Having a job helps, I also got a therapist and signed up for group therapy which seems to help also
I wish I could get a number on how many single/males became NEET or isolated right after high school. It seems right after this period in life the social dynamic has changed drastically and there's nothing truly there to provide resources for adulthood, networking, or a social life.

All of my nightmares these days are just being incredibly frustrated at old jobs
It's annoying as hell but I realize I'm awake after grumbling about it for a minute or two

have sex

This is tumblr-tier.
Please delete your post you embarrassing pussy faggot.
Get drafted.

Is this how German tax works?

East Coast is best coast. We even have better rappers.

this feels like a common trend in the US of late. You are taught how to math and about the basics of the world, but only so much as to test well, and they don't help you with social interaction, financial readiness, or encountering challenges in the workplace. Parents cant always be the solution for those issues, but the schools don't seem to care all that much.

Kids dying, war, threats to family. Occasional nightmares are normal. You're just a faggot twenty something with nothing to care about or protect. You've got about 6-10 years more to get away with being a smug cunt before it starts to backfire on you.

You're not guaranteed a career by graduating college. The fact that you are here, now, questioning yourself and your intentions is part of the process you must make each and every time you grow as a person. If you have these problems in your current life, I assure you that you would have a host of other problems had you decided to stay in college. There's something fundamental you have to figure out about yourself, and it's fine that you're on this path to the answer, as you wouldn't be the same you if you made other choices.

Because you're weak willed. I'm sure your friends already told you though.

the place i'm moving to will be in a neighborhood district where i can probably just walk into town

all my nightmares lately for some reason are me working retail but when i go to open the cash i realize my fingers are all broken and snapped and twisted and then i look at them and they're all fucked up and i get incredible pain all over my hands and wake up

also anyone else have the dream where you are trying to yell but can't even whisper no matter how hard you try

I don’t feel like I’m weak willed, I don’t tend to take shit from my friends. But I feel like I made a dumb decision but I have to serve my sentence for touching thots

>the dream where you are trying to yell but can't even whisper no matter how hard you try
all the goddamn time

well, if you can find a nice park, it might be worth the time to visit there occasionally. If there are trails, even better. I know for me when im in a rut, i go walking through the local parks, observing nature, listening to the trees and birds. It relaxes me and changes my perspective. its not for everyone, but its something that works for me.

There is no right or wrong. If you really think about it our world is kind of a fucked up place but we are just normalized to it over our lifespan. But because we are social species it is easy to assume that what everyone is doing must be the right thing to do.

oh god i just replied and told him id be the best man god damn it now im having a panic attack holy shit i need to kill myself before the wedding now

massive headaches make me sleep earlier, i just woke up and am now watching Vinny play LSD.

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Had a dream where I was falling down the side of a sky scraper trying to grab my moms hand to protect her from the fall but she couldn’t hear me because of the wind so it came out a whisper

relax user. you'll be okay. How much time do you have until the wedding?

woah dude, calm down you'll be fine

we didnt talk for years because he was really cutting off a lot of other people and sending out a bunch of red flags, especially to me, that he was gonna kill himself and a whole bunch of shit happened, i wont get into it all but basically i tried to help him but had no idea how and me and another best friend of ours called a crisis line and they called the police but he is really good under pressure and just bullshitted to them and said he was only joking and wasnt going to kill himself. then afterwards he tried to play it off as a joke but then he flat out cut contact with me and wouldnt answer texts a few months later, i figured id give him space. then it turns out he went and really tried to kill himself and ever since then we haven't seen or spoken to eachother other than the occasional happy birthday text or whatever. i dont even know his wife. never met her. i wanted to give him space and since he was the one that cut me out figured it was fair to leave him alone. now hes wanting me to be the best man and fuck idk what im gonna say god damn bros i havent even seen him since 2016

Woah there, man. I wasn't trying to be smug about not having nightmares, I'm genuinely curious. I occasionally (maybe once every couple of months, with bouts of higher frequency) have panic attacks while awake that I think are my brain's way of manifesting that turmoil. If experiencing and waking up from a nightmare feels anything like that then I can empathize, especially when there seem to be less effective methods for removing the fear while you're asleep.

Cringe u fukin pusdy

Go and practice my man. Fly over there a week early.

When you toast make sure you bring all that up. I'm sure he's over it by now.

its a good time to reconnect then. Life is hard. Be thankful you have the chance to even see him again, by the sounds of things. The fact that you still think of him as one of your best friends is commendable, since that shit can be hard to make it through, even if you aren't directly involved.

I cant speak for his past actions, but this isnt the past anymore. The fact is he's getting married. After so many struggles he had, he's found someone he wants to spend his life with. His life. Something that he almost gave up. But he's still here, and he wants you to be in his life. He specifically wanted *YOU* to be his best man, to be next to him when he makes this leap. You weren't able to be there for him at his darkest, so be there when he's at his best.

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To fix your sleeping schedule you should drink some of an energy drink or coffee when you feel tired at an "odd time" like sometime in the afternoon lets say 2. A couple sips or two is enough to give you some energy but not enough to keep you up through the night. This way you can choose to go to sleep at a reasonable time. Cherries also can help you fall asleep since dark cherries have something in em that helps people fall asleep and stay asleep.

You've got time to do the things you want.

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>2 sips is enough to give you some energy
bullshit. either my body is broken or you fags are all pretending coffee actually works as a prank on me. i have NEVER had a drink of coffee/soda/energy drink that has made me feel awake or wired or energized and it fucking irritated me all through high school. i'd always get coffee to try and perk me up in the morning but it NEVER helped. i think you're all just lying.

I live in the east coast of europe

dont shit up my comfy thread please

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>hey guys I literally have shell shock
no you don't faggot fuck off.

im just in a constant state of light confusion and isolation

Same. Feels like everything is in a haze.

Don’t feed the troll my friend

Sounds like depersonalization/derealization

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holy shit this is it
can this be fixed or am i fucked
it feels like it was a redpill (not the meme the actual term) where i realized all these flaws and now theyre just there
can i fix this or am i just stuck in wonderland now

What is it called when you look in the mirror and your only thought is "hey wait that's not right"
Like, it's not particularly bad, but definitely wrong.

Days away from 20 and still a handholdless virgin. It's not even wizard-tier but seeing friends in relationships has made me think of myself in a relationship. I can't stand modern shit my age though and it comes off as picky. No alcohol culture, little to no makeup, no filters or constant social media.
I had a look at a friend's tinder and it was all so soulless. It's clearly not the right place to look for someone I'd like but there aren't too many places to look.

You tell me, man. I can feel myself turning less human by the day.

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I just want a trap gf bros

This isn't 100% what I'm feeling but lately I've been wondering if I'm retarded and some how my parents/teachers missed it. Like a touch of retardation. Like that "I'm retarded?" gif of the guy in the bullwinkle shirt. I'm so aloof and clearly don't have the interpersonal skills an adult man should have. I dont look in the mirror and see it, but I've also come to realize that the person you see in the mirror is reversed from real life because it's a mirror, and also that your brain filters out some things when you see them every day. Is it possible I'm part retarded and I just haven't noticed because it's always been that way?

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Heading to bed cause its 7am. But I love you guys. We're gonna make it. just gotta keep going.

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Life's too heavy, bro

go to places you enjoy, there's always a woman in the world who likes something you do, if you're into vidya, go out to a con or something. you can do it, user.

I love these threads also you too

To further the whole not noticing thing, it made me think about neckbeards and people who I used to look at and think "How do they go outside the door looking like that?" I'm sure they don't look in the mirror, think "yep, the neckbeard is looking rather thick this morning" and go about their business. They probably are just like me in a state of unawareness and that thought terrifies me and makes me incredibly aware of myself and everything I do

>ctrl-f "light"
Hope rides alone....

>tfw 20 and I haven't even finished high school

i always feel so dreadful and stupid when i stay up for too long, and i see the sunrise. i feel like i wasted precious time to be able to sleep in peace. i dont even know what to do about it.

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>this thread

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you've already failed

that's really not uncommon. working shit warehouse jobs, i've met people from all walks of life. some drop out because of drugs, others because of anxiety/pressure, others because they think they had it figured out at the time and they didnt need their high school and they'd just be a neet forever. not an uncommon thing. look up ABE programs near you. you can probably actually get paid to go back and get your adult high school education if you look into it.

I miss social anxiety. After being in the French Foreign Legion, I'm in a permanent not five a fuck mode and it's very hard to relate or socialize with people. They either think I'm rude, or dont care what they have to say.

Music no longer has effect on me. I cant get pumped or get goosebumps, I cant even feel remorse or pity for things. It sucks. I'm literally a robot.

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Dont listen to this retard, unironically my best friend was one of these "figured it out" types. Dropped out 9th grade, got his GED. we all laughed at him and said he was gonna regret it later. Now I'm 25 working at home depot and he's a lawyer. And i'm not even making that up.

are you in Japan?

I think the trick is just actually giving up on stuff you can't really achieve, I wouldn't say I'm happy but I feel neutral enough to not kill myself with my boring wagie life.

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I know, I just wish suicide was easier. Can't get over the mental block

No idea what ABE is, I live in Eastern EU so it probably doesn't exist here or even have an equivalent.
I am completely incapable of being near people is my problem, I can handle a couple months at maximum before I lock myself in my room and refuse to go out. Went through three schools and spent the past half a year NEET.

>No idea what ABE is, I live in Eastern EU so it probably doesn't exist here or even have an equivalent.
Adult Basic Education. If you have schools you probably have some way to get your schooling as an adult.

not him but I've gone to a con and still don't talk to women at all
it's impossible to approach anyone and even if I do it never goes anywhere

I'm a huge retard who tested out of high school at 16 and took another 4 years before finally stepping outside of my room, getting a job, and gradually (and painfully/awkwardly) remembering how to interact with people.
Add another 3 years and I've moved out and found a job I really enjoy that I can do while I write about gay concepts I've had floating around since freshman year.
You can do it, user, I believe in you.

Same senpai. My life is basically overtime in a game that already ended, I wish I had it in me to try hanging myself again.

>When that one friend who is up at this time as well just starts ignoring you

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Your life is not dependent on playing video games, seek alternative uses for your time

Well that's nice of you user but you're probably the only person who does. Even my psychologist and psychiatrist basically told me to go fuck myself and the pills they gave me apparently won't even help according to them. I don't see a way out of this unless somebody just straight up reprograms me.

My first and only suicide attempt was a jump from my window. Turns out that a 13 year olds body can survive a four story fall easy peazy.

but I literally don't want to do anything else, so I just default to the lowest effort option

Mine was trying to use a fitted sheet as a rope and hang myself. Didn't work and just fall on my ass

for me it was downing an entire bottle of tylenol then vomiting and being in the hospital for a week because of renal kidney failure. couldn't eat or even drink water for 7 entire days.

Unironically, yes. Germany is the 2nd country in europe when it comes to highest taxes.

youtube.com/watch?v=_xMUaeLCszM

This has been stuck in my head for some reason
youtu.be/F64yFFnZfkI

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for me, it's bitterly hopeful vocaloidshit
youtu.be/dGNoCICGmo0
youtu.be/4hNpxi0N-2U

Pretty much yeah

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Stay strong Lad

youtu.be/ZxnqSTzq6-w it's my falling asleep song aswell

>zankyou no terror ost
man is it something else, shame about the show itself though

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is playing games with friends actually all it's cracked up to be? haven't exactly had much experience doing so.

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Anyone here ever try blocking Yea Forums for an extended period of time?

why? You'll just unblock it later when your willpower inevitably gives out.

ITS 9AM
GO TO BED

I found a blocker that you can't turn off.

If you like the friends then it can turn a boring/bad experience into a fun one. Sadly I alienated all my friends so I don't get to experience that anymore.

i remember it being fun as a kid but i haven't had a friend in a very long time so i don't know if it holds up

It will be. Have faith, put work into your faith and live a life of yugame.

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Why dont they have classes for adults to learn how to function? Jesus christ if I could take "social interaction 101" i probably wouldn't want to die so much

Yes, very rarely i get to play some fightan with this friend of mine and everytime its loads of fun, he's a huge Granblue fag so i'm sure he'll be getting Versus so i look forward to playing that with him

>Bought all these demanding games for my new gaming PC
>Don't want to play any of them

I don't think I enjoy anything anymore.

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Woke up to back pain. Must have slept on it wrong because it's gone now, but i'm wide awake, so i'm gonna play Red Faction Guerilla I guess.

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Cliche but always fitting
youtu.be/ycad2PaxiUo

>father telling his son not to make him grandkids
Things that never, ever happened.

>i dont get to experience that anymore
why not just reconnect? I know it might be a little difficult but I reconnected with a friend some time ago and we're having a blast playing vidya

>so user what have you been up to since high school

>i put off speaking and my skills went to shit
Same, but with my native language. I'm a terrible speaker.

Because I am bad at talking to people and they have better friends that they like more. Them being my friend was a charity from them because they felt bad.

Bruh

Talent isn't something you're born with, it's a pursuit of interests as Bob Ross said countless times.
Perhaps its your depression that sucks out the enjoyment you'd get from trying out some creative hobbies, leaving you feeling like they provide nothing for you? Please go see a professional if you haven't done so yet, it helped me a lot.

Did you see 3.0+1.0's first 10 minutes? I thought it was a neat distraction but not much else.

What’s up with people not wanting to come from rich parents I mean there’s no medal for being born poor so what the fuck

nah going with the usual approach is boring af, if you hit with something unexpected its a lot more fun.
how deep down the rabbit hole have you gone user? you can never have a fun time with another person if that person isn't having fun, a friend can't be "better", only different, unless you're a gossiping shit or someone who actively hurts people. Ask to play online or hang out and test the waters, if they are clearly not having fun then you know your answer, if they are then you have another friend, don't act like a depressed anime protag.

I’m not really a fan of evangelion but yeah i saw it

Get a fuck bright motion sensor light, and place it in the direction of there house. It's on your property, so you should get away with it.

That's how I am. I can either spend a day creating music, or wasting it on Yea Forums, but it feels the same either way so I just do the mindless and easy option. It sucks being the depressed creative type of person when you're so depressed you have no ability to create.

This. Poor are vain believing all their hardwork is amount to anything in the end nothing will be ever satisfying and nothing is enough

Because the last three times we played anything before we stopped talking there were two of his other friends there and I was the last person they needed to fill the lobby. Didn't help that he was the only person talking to me at the time and constantly encouraged me to talk so I basically offloaded all my issues onto them and made myself into that whiny depressed cunt you don't want to talk to.

I wanna go on a mescaline trip but I've been in a shit mood for almost a year now and I'm terrified of having a bad trip.

>nah going with the usual approach is boring af, if you hit with something unexpected its a lot more fun.
no i mean that i have no reply to that because all i've done is fap and play vida you retard

Not add user, but I took the meds when I was younger. It definetly can give you some serious motivation for one, I got all my work done on time and the works, the downside was my issue was retaining information, yeah I wrote things down now but even then nothing would stick and then there was the whole zombie thing. The 6 monthes I was on ot felt like a fever dream as if I wasn't really living, so I stopped taking them.

that motivation fades REALLY fast. you go from being driven to just taking them and staring off into space.

Dumbass, just jack it every day, that's what I did, the stretching will happen naturally and the "session" should last the required 15 minutes.

honestly user, if your friend isn't overly prudish and anything like my friends I'd honestly just say "fapping and playing vidya, how about you?" otherwise you can literally just hit them with the "looking for a job rn," or "trying to secure a promotion rn" or literally any filler reply, you even just say "not much aside from family, work, studies, etc" and you can even just say that you've been a little lazy, one of the easiest things to answer

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Jelqing doesn't work lmao