State your deepest desires for a price

Something with Castlevania and Viva Pinata. Not necessarily mutually exclusive, I just wish either or both of them got something new. DMChads and Acechads need to share some of that good luck.

I want to have more time for Vidya in my life.

A New Vegas film.

Granted but instead now your father tries to sleep in the same bed as you.

I want waifu fags to vanish from the industry

Universal prosperity

granted, it's written and directed by Uwe Boll.

Granted,but it's a nintendo exclusive
Granted,but sneed dies in the end
Granted,but sega headquarters gets hit by a terrorist attack
Granted,but there is a 50/50 percent change that the creators of the games will die of cancer
Granted,but you have to pay a thousand dollars each month
Granted,but it's the only one

Granted,but they are replaced by something worse
Granted,but Stalin is now president of your country

I want Black Souls 2 to be translated.

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I want KH3 DLC to fix everything and make it 10/10

Stalin is dead, how would this work?

I want Tails playable in the next Smash game.

I want Mario RPG 2, not a paper mario, no sticker/card mechanics, a proper sequel to the original one.

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Granted

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Please give me a true spiritual successor to Ogre Battle 64.

Granted,but it's only in Spanish
Granted,but it's chopped into 12 parts and takes 6 months each for development time to make KH4(Featuring Ryan from Race With Ryan)

that's Mario AND Luigi RPG

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Granted, but it has been translated in every language except the ones you speak

Thank you monkey paw. As long as KH3 is perfect Ryan can drag KH4 to hell.

Who the fuck is Ryan?

I WANT SHADOWBRINGERS TO FAIL AND BATTLE FOR AZEROTH TO SUCCEED. GOD DAMMIT I CAN'T TAKE IT I CANT STAND THAT THAT WEEB GAME IS BETTER THAN WOW RIGHT NOW AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Bully 2

Revived from death
Granted,but half of the characters are cut
Granted,but it is cancelled half-way only to be released to public in 20 years
Granted,but shrek rips through your asshole

Granted, but he gets a moveset that doesn't fit his character and is also by far the worst in terms of balance

How unfitting are we talking?

Dragon's Dogma 2. It's good. It's on PC and it's released within 3 years.

The Last Guardian will come out, but only a few people will enjoy it.

Granted, but you will die the day before its release

I want all the anons in the world to get their very own waifus made real.

esto no es tan malo
Acceptable. I'm sure Italian or German or something would be easier than Japanese.

Granted,but your mom finds your porn collection
Granted,but it's made by ea and it's p2w

granted, but they hate all their anons and go out with other people

Forgot pic.

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A Hotline Miami Art film directed by Nicolas Refn and John Woo

Granted,but it's buggy as hell for one day
Granted,but thanos is also made real

my parents are hippies who don't care about porn we would laugh about it honestly

I want Sonic to be great and respected again.

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Granted, although the means by which they do that is through new movie and and cartoon deals, sonic is a great franchise but the only games it gets are shitty movie games that suck.

granted, but the franchise is sold to EA, who demand it be pumped full of MTX and Comestic DLC.

I want this planet and every living thing on it to be erased from existence.

Every game with a roster of characters has a minimum of seven Fire Emblem characters.
This isn't stealth bitching, seeing them in mario kart would be fucking hilarious.

granted but they are all only from three houses.

New Vegas sequel

>I would throw the cure for autism away for a ps3!

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Granted, but the universe turns out to be cyclical in nature and you're doomed to live out this same life over and over again eternally, without ever remembering the cycles which came before or being able to make even the slightest change.

I want a Gravity Rush 3 that builds directly on the foundation of GR2 via level designs and challenges that utilize the game's unique perspectives in interesting ways, as well as a split campaign between Kat and Raven and you can switch between their objectives freely. I also would like it to be the last GR game, for it to end the series on a high note and for it to be localized into English.

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Granted but that will only happen in 4.6 billion years

I wish for this monkey paw to have no downsides

Jade Empire 2 not made by Bioware.

Granted, the monkey paw splits itself in two, transfers its powers to the new monkey pay, then promptly shrivels up and dies. Also, you now have ass cancer.

Granted,but your the only one in hell
Granted,but it is made by chris chan
Granted,but the CIA finds you and you now have to make the new vegas sequel in 2 years

Granted,but it's a sonic crossover

>Want a girlfriend
>get one
>she farts on my face and thinks its funny

granted but it's only because she's pregnant now

Granted, EA sells the rights to Sony and the game is now made by Naughty Dog, directed by Neil Druckmann, and is showered with critical praise despite absolutely destroying everything you hold near and dear to the original for the sake of turning it into a TLoU-like.

what does it smell like haha asking for a friend haha was her butthole cute haha

>Had a girl come up, grab my arm and walk with me telling me how she wanted to be my fart-princess.
I didn't think it was weird in the moment but god damn I would be the luckiest man on the planet if that was my fetish.

SEGA and Relic finish DoW3 and add proper Last Stand modes, tactical modes similar to DoW2 but without the retarded AI. base building in other modes for the retards clamoring for it, every races in successive releases and deeper faction customisation, with not microtransactions or esports focus. Also the proper cover system.

I was going to say Half Life 3 but it already happen with the script leak

His entire moveset is based on the SA2 mech. The ENTIRE moveset.

I want the Switch Mini to be released this Christmas.

I want a cute tomboy gf who will bully me for being worse than her at video games, and wake me up early in the mornings so we can progress with our huge vidya backlog.

Please, if it's possible, absolve me of any drawbacks.
I've suffered enough already, I beg you.

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A vidyagaem like I remember they used to be :(

Granted, but due to the rushed release it's as useless in practicality as a Wii Mini.

Every new release is now a remake.
Oh wait

Dead in six months

Granted, but she leaves you after a year because you're a dead end.

Granted, a port of your favorite old school game is released on PS4. However, it must be censored to adhere to modern ethical standards. It does play just like you remember otherwise, though.

I wish Fortnite never existed.

Granted, but now Radical Heights takes it's place in terms of popularity.

No internet? No problem, I'll hack it anyway.

Granted. No downside is necessary as you've just removed a /pol/-tier quarantine zone from vidya.

I wish BFA would actually kill WoW

Can you even hack a Wii Mini? I don't think it even has a SD card slot.

I want platform warriors to commit collective suicide. And for technology in game to actually progress meaningfully rather than boring graphics.

granted but every new game will now be an incredibly complex VR life sim with no real gameplay

Granted, but companies stop developing for PC and move to mobile

I can make a better Fallout game then anyone from Bethesda, so that works for me.

MGSV gets all the cut missions and environments and other content
>Ability to customise layout of MB and all FOB's
>all of the Lord of the Flies missions (rumored to be about 6 separate missions for that alone)
>Camp Omega 2: Extrajudicial Torture Boogaloo
>Usable Battle Gear buddy/vehicle instead of cutscene filler with no bearing on gameplay at all
>Chico LIVES and grows up to later become a buddy like initially planned, maybe we'll figure out what was up with the Aux plug-in inside his chest that was mysteriously NEVER brought up
>The cut Soviet military base that was to be its own over-world area and was going to be incredibly dense and would have made the concrete camo actually usable and stealth a MUST
>Fight Liquid piloting Sahelanthropus (along with Psycho Mantis) and send them off to wherever the fuck they needed to be to set up him and Mantis as eventually joining Foxhound before MGS1
>Snake's prosthetic hand complete with the cut pinky tool customization. Remember in the cut-scene where you are given the prosthetic arm and it has no pinky? Yeah that was supposed to be used for tools like auto lock-picking among other things
>Venom ages over the years(1984-1995, to around 60 years old) limiting his mobility but the R&D team develop bleeding edge technology to make up for it
>Miller Double/Triple agent shenanigans gets explored, also see him learn survival techniques for teaching Solid later
>Gray Fox shows up and we see the start of his downward spiral into a cyborg ninja experiment
>Ending with Operation Intrude N313 where you play as Solid Snake on his first solo mission

Go ahead
TRY and fuck that up

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I wanted all game is mobile games

Granted, but the company goes under before it can be released and all the content is lost forever.

Release after you die.

>Konami going bankrupt after diving balls deep into LITERALLY slot machines
I understand these threads aren't really meant to be realistic but c'mon. Surely you could've conjured something else up

Worth it honestly
t. 600+ hours in MGSV

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I'd say granted but Konami, being absolutely fucktarded with money, bankrupts itself trying. Needless to say, it doesn't get finished or released. It's not like anyone misses Konami either.

Video game wise? A proper Advent Rising Trilogy or a Way of the Samurai style Star Wars game where the groundhog day loop is an actual story mechanic that the character recognizes.

Idk, a great deal of that stuff is already partially complete to a degree, at the bare minimum past the conceptual stages

A collection of definitive versions of pokemon mystery dungeon released on the switch

Do not underestimate the influence of the paw.

I want a new, good Sly Cooper game made by Sucker Punch.

I want to find a gf, quit cigarettes, and have friends

Granted but every level is played at full alarms and you are always Bentley with no upgrades

Granted, but it gets half the attention a Sly game would normally get and therefore is much sloppier than the previous entries. The reason? Against all logic but paw logic, Sucker Punch actually decided to make a full blown, AAA sequel to Rocket.

>tfw Konami releases trailers for the free new content
>the hype literally picks up right where it was before MGSV's release
>Gaming outlets are at a loss for words, don't know what to say about the new direction Konami is moving in but loving every minute of it
>radio silence for a several months
>"Whoopsies we broke now. Its okay though, our upper management got massive severance packages in the tens of millions. Please understandu"
>pic related: Venom's face when

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Animal Crossing has decent writing again IN ENGLISH and has nogami’s deep lore, along with the game keeping its release date.

I want the ability to possess people. jumping from person to person = best immortality

Granted, but it has severe framerate issues and a $60 price tag because game freak ported it instead of chunsoft. Also the only way to play PMD 2 is with the touchscreen controls.

granted, but you can only posess people who are about to die.

Granted, but you can only possess people for up to 24 hours before forcibly returning to your original body. You also cannot do anything that significantly disrupts your host's daily life.

Wheelchair Bentley? If so I’m fine with that.

granted but only elderly men

DKC remake for the Switch

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Granted, instead the COD boom never stopped.

Granted, but it fucks up the physics in translation.

I want Persona 4 golden remade in 5's engine and I want it released on Steam.

it's locked at 30 FPS

Granted but it releases after SMT V, P6 and Re Fantasy

I want Monster Hunter on PC
>wait fuck

Iceborne release date for pc is the monkey pawn

Granted, but the Steam port has a save crashing bug that has a .01% chance of occurring anytime you enter a new area that cannot be patched.

World being shit is the monkey paw

i just want a harem of thick futanari amazons with massive dicks to fuck my mouth and ass whenever i want, also they're physically healthy so no diseases or any shit like that

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I wish the girl who broke my heart would love me again

>they're physically healthy
But you are not.
You just get snusnu-ed to death. Painfully.

granted. on your death bed, she tells you she loves you again.

I want pic related.

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so i get to go out on top AND be rid of this miserable existence? i thought the monkey's paw was supposed to come with a catch.

No more game exclusives, you can play everything on any platform you want.

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You get it mailed on very nice paper.
Gold embossed vellum. Pretty enveloppe too.

Granted. She's the girl in the pic. Literally. Just the jpg. Guess you should have at least wished for a gif.

To kill myself without causing anyone pain

I wish I was one of the best players in the world in every game I played.

granted. apple has monopolized the gaming industry and charges 100 dollars per month + the cost of the games to access their online-only platform.

i want my friend to stop complaining about how mario kart is better everytime we play CTR.

he just sucks

granted. he kills himself.

granted. everyone you could cause pain as a result of killing yourself is dead.

A class monkey paw

You get insta banned and never make any money or benefits from having anything to do with those games.

Granted, but now everyone you know except that friend will start to tell you that MK is better than CTR.

Your mother.

Will die in her sleep tonight.

a nice femboi body

Granted, but their dicks won't fit. Not that either party isn't plenty willing, but no matter how hard you try they just...won't fit.

I want humanity to end.

If you don't reply to this post.

Xenoblade Chronicles X sequel that ties up all the loose ends. And I don't want any zombie Luxaar's, I don't wanna turn into a nopon myself and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?

Granted. Now CTR is a shit game, but everyone loves it more than Mario Kart.

Granted, but it only ends because transhumanism forcefully makes us all into immortal androgynous futa progressive creatures who are incapable of any kind of aggression or ambition.

Granted, but you'll never personally know anyone who is into traps.

Granted. Your GF smokes and dies of lung cancer in a year, and your friends were all just orbitting her.

Granted, but then it starts again 5 seconds later.

Granted, but a handful of beloved special NPCs either have their roles severely diminished or are flat-out removed with no explanation. Which ones? You'll have to find out!

>Now CTR is a shit game
The paw isn't THAT strong user

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Granted, every human is now a spider.

Granted, but it's on Wii U and is stealth released within the next year, so you have to check on the Wii U eshop every few days to see if it's there. It's digital only, requires 80gb of space to download and 100gb to install, has a 5 minute load screen on start up, requires a constant internet connection, and the combat is ripped from Xenoblade 2.

Vectorman 3

I wish that all games turn into battle royales

The Chrono Trigger team is reunited for a new single installment JRPG with unlimited budget.

Affordable, non-invasive Full Dive VR

I want to BE the bunny!

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>Wii U
Not a problem, got Cemu
>Online only
Got Cemu working online too
>Xenoblade 2 combat
Fucking easy there satan

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goddammit that’s already my #1 fear for NH

man, DTRH really took a strange turn after that video on furries

Granted, but it works like the Wired and you can only be an ear.

I become the head of a small dev studio with enough resources and time to make the games that I want to make.

Granted, it's exclusive to a 3rd party Mega Drive flashback console.

>but it works like the Wired
Explain

Serial Experiments Lain's interpretation of the Internet is kinda loose, but part of it entails being able to interact with it on deeper levels depending on your competency at it all. Some people can only listen in, some are good enough to make their voice heard, but very few can fully materialize themselves there, full on VR style. I'm explaining it kind of badly but it's more of a visual cue thing that's touched upon briefly and it's hard to put into words. The gist of it relative to your wish is that full dive VR exists but you're not actually good enough to full dive.

Granted, you are also diagnosed with aggressive dementia.

Jesus fuck user go easy on me, memory/personality deterioration is legitimately one of my biggest fears.

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Granted, but a radical feminist joins your ranks and slowly starts injecting her agenda into your games, and when you finally try to confront her about it, she accuses you of being a racist, sexist, bigoted white male all over Twitter and social media, forcing you to resign from your position. She then goes on to slowly “climb” the ladder until she becomes director in all major projects and sequels to your original games. Your name is wiped from the company. No one remembers you for making your 2-4 great games.

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I want Nintendo to buy Pokémon from gamefreak and give it to a reputable and competent studio

Granted, but you die from a heart attack soon after it changes hands

granted. that studio gets bought out by EA the next day.

The game is the worst in the series.
Straight up bad. Terrible. Noone likes it, not even the worst contrarian.

This is the laziest monkey paw answer

It can't be worse than D/P at default speed. I've never dropped a game so fast in my life.

Granted, but you become paralyzed and will never be able to use your hands to post ever again, meanwhile the person you (You)’d continues to get even more (You)s and it encourages him to post even more.

Since I'm already getting FF7 Remake.
FF6 remake.

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granted. it's pay to win mobile only and it's worse than the original by far.

Granted, it's handled by the FF7 Remake team.

I want to start my life over but retain all my memories

granted. everyone you love dies in a horrible way and you start life over as a crippled manlet with a small, non functioning penis.

I wish for a cute cat with a mild temperament.

I want a new paper mario in the style of 64/ttyd that isnt bad

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Granted, the writing is as charming as it was in those games but every other character but Mario is a Toad.

Joke's on you, I don't love anyone and sex is gross. It's megalomaniacal billionaire time.

I want to find meaning in my life

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Granted, you find meaning but cannot actually realize it. You know what you're meant to do but the paw magic prevents you from accomplishing it.

Watch Dogs gets made by Rockstar, not Ubishit.

Granted, you've delayed GTA6 by a decade and Watch Dogs is still AAA open world garbage.

I want wished made to the monkey's paw to never have unintended side-effects.

Granted, but now it does nothing at all.

Granted. Nothing changes as all of the side-effects were intentional

nooo
the new main character is now a woman

monkey's paw!!!!!

So it's not granted?

I've already had my wish granted. It wasn't worth the price. A delisted mobile game with shit art and a legally distinct Nicalis game.

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I want this roster to be the roster for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on Nintendo Switch

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granted. enjoy your tiger cub that will grow up and kill you within the year.

I wish Warcraft III never had any success, so we wouldn't have DOTA or WoW today.

granted, but your english gets even worse.

I don't not wait a wife, but I also don't do want a wife.

granted but it'll take several million years.

Granted but Overwatch style games take the scene just as hard.

Good, I just want MMO's to have evolved in differnt ways, and skip the wow-clones era.

I hope the world explodes
I hope that we all die
I hope there's highlights in hell
I hope they're televised.

granted but we all go to heaven.

Phantasy Star V

Worth it.

I want to start a real life Sburb session. The price is obvious, Earth would get nuked by meteors, but I don't give a shit.
Since I'm the Knight of Space I'll be able to take care of the Genesis Frog alone while the others will do pointless crap in my session such as fighting dersefags or some shit.
I should mention that before starting the game, I would make sure to buy every single piece of Touhou canon that exists, print every single ZUN mail that relates to canon, everything. Then I would put it all in a box. Meaning this box would contain the entirety of the Touhou canon, games, mangas and all.
When doing the frog breeding stuff I would create a paradox slime of said box and merge it with the frog, thus ensuing that this Genesis Frog would give birth to the Touhou universe so I can live in Gensokyo with my co-players.
So you see, I really don't give a shit about the reckoning. In your face, monkey hand.
Couldn't get to before it was archived sorry guys

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I want to be rich as fuck to the point where i would never worry about spending money at all

I don't think that's possible for him.

Granted, but it's a Neptunia crossover.

granted but money cant buy friends, user.

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Granted, but the game is still shit.

Granted, but you adopt a frugal disposition to a worryingly neurotic degree.

Not a problem, I don't have any right now anyway.

I said i would never worry about it.You killed the point of it

Can buy me love
Can buy me love

I take that

Undo the Bethesda Fallout games
Make Bioware good again
I'd doesn't get bought by Zenimax