Untitled
I've lost control of my life
Ive lost my control
shit, I've got work in six hours.
I used to laugh at and have fun in these threads until I actually lost control. Now I don't know what to feel.
I could go to bed, but then I'd have to go to work.
>Pass user since 2013
@468643393
>doing free work for the internet Jew
wow
>actually at 4AM
based
Stu, what are you doing?
How are you lads holding up?
im barely holding in there but trying to stay positive
alright i went out with some buddies last night, drinking and i
found out that my ex is moving in with her new guy after being together for like 3,4ish months
feel like shit honestly
I've gotten addicted to watching streamers play video games that I don't even have time or fun anymore playing video games myself. It's so bad that I have like 5 twitch subs and one of them is some small streamer girl who is pretty cute. I've wasted like around $300 since start of year supporting ehr channel.
Post Soul Reaver version.
>watching girls stream
yikes
Take comfort in knowing that it's going to crumble.
I'VE GOT THIS BURNING LIKE MY VEINS ARE FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT GASOLINE
>donating
couldn't be me
Who's the qt
Kill youreself
Imagine being a NEET, ha, haha, hahaha...
>woke up at 7pm
>have to do a bunch of shit
>just want to lay down and cry
>want to play several video games but dont even have the energy to reach two feet to grab them or click on the icons on my desktop
i am and it will, she told me after moving out with the guy she was with for 2 years that moving in so quickly was a big mistake
and she's doing it again
still feel shitty
we were seeing each again up until february, a lot of stuff she told me she didn't want turned out the exact opposite
just feel used honestly, meh
I have a few that I like, but they're either really specialized and really good at the games they play or they're just generally funny like jerma or danielfromSL, though I've been getting sick of some lately so the number keeps dwindling
fuck e-thots though, never given anyone a cent and don't plan to, twitch chat and emotes are the devil
gonna start my nofap early and go july so about to wank it like crazy
Take me back.
Not great, honestly.
The past few weeks I've been having increasingly violent fantasies occur out of the blue in daydreams. Mostly starring my friends, and usually involves either me beating the ever loving shit out of them and often murdering them, or a group of them doing it to me. I used to have it a few years back with my parents, too. I don't know why it happens, either. I don't particularly hate anyone that's starred in one of my random violent daydreams, but it freaks me out regardless that I'm having them either way. If I go out and tell my friends what's been going on recently they'll no doubt think I'm either messing with them or fucking looney.
I really need to see a therapist or something, I think.
I know it's bad. Fuck, no year before this one had I ever watched or gave a fuck about watching Twitch streams. I think subconsciously I'm just delving deeper into loneliness. The community is nice and it feels like I have friends again.
The girl streamer I feel is done out of a burden of need.
how do you escape the late-night pit of despair
So ... hookers,yay or nay ?
I'm looking homelessness dead in the eyes if my crypto holdings don't go parabolic soon.
It fucking hurts
>@
kys
Young people are fickle. I was with a girl for 4 years and she dumped me all of a sudden because she didn't want to be in a committed relationship anymore. Literally nothing has changed except we no longer live together and she isn't as clingy. She either doesn't want to find another guy to fuck or can't get one, but either way we're still hooking up all the time and it makes my life feel incredibly empty because I thought I was going to marry this girl.
Relationships and sex drive blow.
you're literally the wojack from the wage cuckin it video
things have been slightly improving for me. after having been homeless since march, i finally got to move in with some family a couple of days ago and i'm able to have privacy for a good chunk of the time. got a full-time job doing shitty manual labor at some shit-tier literal who company, but the 12 hour days out in the sun is killing me and i'm gonna start applying to other places when i wake up. other than that i'm just trying to get back on my feet and hope things turn out okay. gonna get health insurance and get on medication again, too. i can't really complain all in all. i'm so happy to have the opportunity to actually have some kind of stability again, and my suicidal thoughts have been kind of subsiding.
from experience, don't hook up with your ex , tried that and it destroyed me honestly
Internet friends aren't fucking real.
@468644295
No (You) for (You), only for (Me)
lol
>relationships and sex terrify me more than anything else
am i missing out or is it not worth it
another user chiming in, but i agree. ex broke up with me randomly back in april and we stopped talking for 2 weeks and she suddenly texted me again saying "i love you" and "i miss you" and wanting to hang out all of the time, so we did, and i made the hour long drive frequently to see her and have sex and have food, and she basically led me on the entire time and was talking to her other ex and trying to hook up with other guys even though she would get suspicious of me and accuse me of talking to other girls. blocked her in late may.
I still wanna fuck and I don't have game so I can't really get into a new relationship or hook up with anyone unless it's a coworker. Now THAT shit destroys me.
Nutting in a girl feels great but I'm sure there's expensive onaholes that feel good enough. Just have close friends and fuck some rubber toy.
yeah, shit isn't good for your mental health at all
genuinely felt she wanted to get back togeteher even though at the beginning she told me she didn't want ar elationship
everyone around me thought we would be getting back, which is when she fucked with the guy shes moving in with now
but dont fuck with your ex user, c'mon, not knowing if she's sucking dick behind your back kills the brain
take the 2D>3D pill user
Tommorow's sunday, don't got to wake up early so I've been drinking cocktails and enjoying myself
Besides it's only 1:30 where I am, California Mast-haha no. I fucking hate this state please someone bring me back to the East Coast
Always nice to have you around, /biz/
I'm the only guy she's been with that's part of why she broke up with me and I pretty much never go to her place. She also let's me borrow her car sometimes which is nice.
Couldn't care less. Even if I did, she's got more 'tism than me and she isn't conventionally attractive and has put on a lot of weight in the past couple years so I REALLY doubt she's suckin other dicks. I don't ever think about it, I'm too worried trying to get my personal life in order and trying to find a new chick as a sexual outlet/companion.
yeah. my mental health during that month period was at an all-time low. i genuinely just hated life and felt so used and lied to. not even looking to date or fuck anyone else, desu, but i don't even need to check to know she moved on and probably fucked at least 6 guys since may.
>tfw couldn't afford time to play games for the past 5 months
>tfw vidya backlogged
>tfw other hobbies backlogged
>tfw last semi-free summer
>tfw gradschool tests and applications are on the nose
I have an acquaintance who is a janitor at target--he lives with roommates, earns jackshit in terms of pay, and play MMOs all the fucking time. Seems much happier than I am. I dont even fucking know why I aimed for a PhD. I feel like none of the work I did, am doing, and will do matters.
How do you balance work demands and games? In your opinion, is it worth getting a lower pay job and doing more vidya?
well if you really have no problem with it, continue ploughing her i guess
same, felt depressed as hell, no energy even at work my boss talked with me if something was wrong because i had so many sick days of me just being a bitch and crying
scary and amazing at the same time what the brain is capable of doing to you eh
wat
>I'm the only guy she's been with
my big love was the same, i can understand her mindset of "what else is there" now honestly
I spent my time past midnight watching shotacon porn. I can't help it. I just self-insert as the little boys who get raped by evil old men.
Well it's not the possibility of her being with other guys that I have a problem with, it's that despite all of what I've spilled she still would rather be a single cat lady than be with me. She has told me multiple times that there isn't anything I do that makes her not want to be with me, it's just her "inexperience" as she puts it.
I feel bad frequently because she knows I've hooked up with other girls and have had other relationships and it made her feel inexperienced or lesser-than me somehow. What sucks is that out of that "experience" that I have, most were loveless hookups or shit-tier "we just find each other very attractive so let's fuck exclusively" relationships that make me feel incredibly depressed, but she either somehow thinks that won't apply to her or that I'm blowing smoke up her ass to try and get her to get back with me.
>self-insert as the little boys who get raped
that's fuckin weird
>by evil old men
seek help
>want to stop wanking to shit like this
>fucking 216 page chinzurena upload on sadpanda
Dammit God give me an inch here
well she did get fat so if you wanna stick with her help her, or leave the ship or itll drown you too
Overall shitty, gonna take 10 grams of shrooms and see what comes of it. Later anons.
God damn I tried to help her so much but she just wouldn't do anything. what's fucking awful about it all is that I was thinking of breaking it off myself because I felt like I was being dragged down but now I realize I relied on her attention so much that I'm basically going through physical contact withdrawal right now.
Back when I was in 14 I liked getting attention from older creepers. There was this time I was getting my hair cut by a faggot because the barber shop I frequented was closed and my mom wasn't with me so I felt like going to a different place. The faggot kept calling me handsome and said I had really nice legs for my age. I was getting horny so, since there was no one else there, I slightly pulled down my shorts so when the faggot took off my mantle and I stood up, I was pretty much half-mooning him. I thought he would play dumb and not say anything but he told me my shorts were falling off and then I felt him pulling out both my shorts and boxers before pulling them up, so he pretty much gave himself a full view of my buttocks. Then I just paid him and got out.
I swear I would have ended up raped if my mom hadn't been so overprotective of me. She always warned me about creepers and gave me examples of what creeper touching would feel like, but that just turned me on.
you can only help her so much user, if she doesnt want to change out of her own will, everything you try will have the opposite effect on her
What are you faggots listening to?
Mainly been listening to youtube.com
It still hurts, he was only a year younger than me and I feel like I've wasted the chance at life I've gotten that he'll never have.
For me it's shinachiku.
good on you man, proud of you
>10g
Jesus fucking Christ user don't do it. I accidentally took 4.5g once and felt like everyone hated me and wanted to die
Well that's an explanation for it. Have you talked it out with anyone?
That's how it seems it's gone. I'm no shining example of responsibility and self-care but it's depressing to see how she is sometimes.
youtube.com
Unironically, and I have no clue why. Shits good though.
>but it's depressing to see how she is sometimes.
then get out, as much as it hurts, don't let yourself get dragged more into limbo hell user
thanks dude, i appreciate that
Something else of note happened in your childhood?
i can't remember the aritst name, but there's a doujin about a gang that kidnapped a qt on his way back home and then they molested him and sent photos of his violated body to his hot senpai so they could get to molest him as well. It was prettty hot because the qt had the hots for senpai so he was completely fine with the evil men ordering him to have sex with senpai in front of him.
god i wish i had a senpai to fuck me but i'm just popular with slightly younger men. it really grinds my gears that i got the wrong type of magnetism.
user with the ex whos moving in with her guy here
buddy of mine, army, is going to afghanistan next year and if he comes back, alive hopefully, i might just move in with him in a big house or something
if i dont find a girl to live with i'm 28, thought i'd be on my way to wife house kids by 30 i'll just live the bro life honestly
>tfw puking and shitting all night
>wakeup alarm in 3 hours
hahaha shit
She's one of my three close friends, I honestly don't know what I'd do if I tried distancing myself from her.
>I honestly don't know what I'd do if I tried distancing myself from her.
you do know it you're afraid of trying it user
How do you accidentally take 4.5 grams? That's a noticeable pile. I've already eaten all of it and I'm ready.
I'm afraid of trying it because I really don't know what I'd do. I'm awful at meeting new people. I don't know, I guess a lack of a social life would push me to get back into school.
i dont even enjoy the only productive hobby i have anymore
ive done nothing but play video games for the last three years and i dont even enjoy them
there you go, you have it all figured out, if you stay and try to help her even though she doesn't want the help, stay in touch with her but pursure your life user
I once got to shove my face between the buttocks of another boy while we were inside the dark room of a haunted house at a local carnival. It felt great to get away with that.
I don't know user, it's been about 3 years since I've started working the night shift full time and regularly staying up till 5 or 6 am and I should feel bad that I don't get outside or talk to people more but I just can't seem to care as much as I should.
The only thing that really bugs me is I can't seem to do anything except waste all my free time on Yea Forums, playing videogames and binging shows/anime is pretty unfulfilling long term but it still feels more productive than this. Better than an hero'ing at least.
Alright. Certainly better that most people I hear in these threads but I'm scared of something blindsiding me and losing control.
Shroom tea. Thought we fucked it up somehow and made it less potent (a stupid idea in retrospect) so we drank another cup. I was the only one who got fucked.
Well now I also gotta stop watching so much one piece and browsing Yea Forums. Baby steps...
>and browsing Yea Forums
yeah well good luck with that senpai, this place has a strange sense of calmness you don't leave Yea Forums for good, you maybe stay away for a while
See here. The elder scrolls 6 ends with the sword of Azura. I'm writing that story. It's actually really cool.
Thats arousing. What's your body type nowadays?
Why did you do it though?
Okay you faggots. What are some must-read Shotacon Doujins for a total newbie? I might as well fap to something tonight.
>have productive hobbies, but am complete shit at all of them and haven't really gotten better
>i look at people like zun and toby fox who made millions of people happy, and i feel completely inadequate
how do i escape
ive left the house probably five times so far this year
AND WITH A SPARK ITS GONNA BE THE BIGGEST FIRE THEY'VE EVER SEEN!
I'm glad to see another user singing in these threads. It's usually just me.
AAAAAAAAAAA I JUST CANT FIX MY SLEEP CYCLE
I like shinachiku's stuff, it's not rapey and more like young love and budding.
user will probably recommend more rapey stuff like
You'd be so easiy to kill.
Oh yeah I have no intention of leaving for good, this is the only forum I feel comfortable at.
>unfulfilling long term
do you have any desires of what to accomplish in life? I'm in the same boat, I want to pursue programming and make nice things for people to use.
>stay awake to fix sleep schedule
>hold decent schedule for a week or so, actually waking up while the suns still out
>slowly slips back to waking up at 8-10pm
every fucking time
tsukuru is criminally good
I wish I had a gf, that would be nice I guess
We had to crawl through a small tunnel at some point in the room so it was the perfect chance to do it since I was right behind him. At first I was just gonna feel him up but after getting turned on by his tender buttocks I couldn't help but shove my face between them like Master Roshi does with boobs.
I was really lucky that our fat friend got stuck in front of us, so he thought I was just pushing to help him get the fatass unstuck.
Are you me m8
>last week was sleeping at 9, waking up at 6
>this week sleeping at 1pm, waking up at 9pm
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>this is the only forum I feel comfortable at
same, met two girls, yes girls, from Yea Forums from my country honestly
dated one from /fit/ , twas nice
best thing my younger self did was introduce me to Yea Forums
i tried to build muscle but i'm stuck as a perma twink
Some youtuber had a fucking tiny car and was also a homosexual. Like, dude if I decided to kill you the only thing left of you would be your cat. God your are pathetic.
i WISH i had a stomach like that
t. skinnyfat
BASED
>meeting anyone from Yea Forums
I made the mistake of adding someone from /soc/ on Snapchat.
Coolest interaction I've had similar to that though was meeting a girl at a party that recognized my What.CD shirt and we got to talk about it and our music choices for a solid hour. Having the reverse happen where I meet someone in real life that I could talk to about an incredibly niche internet thing was great.
lol get on my level, I'm literally waking up at 3PM
jk just kill me
CUT ME DOWN OR LET ME RUN, EITHER WAY IT'S ALL GONNA BURN
It's tradition, after all.
Even now there is hope for Yea Forums.
Me neither. I'm on track to once again stay up until the late morning or early afternoon and then wake up around 7pm. I don't know what it is, but staying up that late into the day always makes me feel like utter shit.
stop it you fags you're gonna get the thread deleted
It took me 5 years to get to this point. I don't even know how long it will stay like that if I quit going to the gym in a weekly basis.
That's why I gave up. Not everyone is meant to be a big guy.
I just want to be happy
>that I could talk to about an incredibly niche internet thing was great.
felt the same thing with the girl from fit honestly, was really nice to talk in a way none of my friends would
albeit she was a bit crazy-ish, guess Yea Forums does that with you, not only girls
I like stuff like nhentai.net
Did the boy not say anything?
not that great, but holding up kind of well
got a shitty wake up call recently, and I've been trying to get better
>5 years
jesus... how like, i'm lifting, trying to change my diet
run while you have the chance
tell us
she probably has a kid and wants to leave
women are utter monsters
went to get my teeth pulled and got put under for the pain when i woke up the doctor seemed to be laughing a bit while the aides outside were tearing up while i was leaving
my sister who was there to drive me home explained that right before i went out i said verbatim
>oh (ex name) there you are
>i thought you had left me
>everyone gets tired of me and leaves me sooner or later.....
>but you came back im sorry for everything
>please ill try harder dont leave me again
then i repeated im sorry while tears streamed down my face till i passed out,im pretty much already looking for another dentist
Though they aren't used as much as the olden days, a lighthouse was once an important structure. The bright shining beacon was the only guidance a sailor had to keep from wrecking his ship on the jagged rocks at the edge of the coast. It was the lighthouse keeper's job to make sure the fire was ever burning bright, no matter what the hour. Stu Pickles could be considered a modern day lighthouse keeper, warning those that sail into the straits of Yea Forums that it is 4:00 and far past any normal person's bedtime. A lone, vigilant soul to light up the night for those lonely men who have lost control of their life.
fuck you jannies please leave us alone
LADS to keep some posts vidya, anyone try the vader immortal vr thing?
blew my dick off how good it was, but too god damn short
Also she's fat
You shouldn't have any problems with older guys with a body as that
I had a friend that had an actual dakimakura and was a virgin five years ago.
Earlier this month he moved to NYC with his long-term 3DPD GF.
haha nah, dated her as i said and she was a student
nah senpai she was /fit/
Want to date?
:(
You've got me, vallhalla wouldn't be known if it wasn't the best sex song period.
You'll be okay. I'm sure it won't happen again with the other dentist.
>stay up for like 29 hours one day, go to sleep at a regular time at night
>next day i don't feel very tired at all at night so i end up ruining schedule again
>stay up again, sleep at regular time
>sleep in until like noon so nothing changes
I just finish a drawing, feel good.
Now that I think about it, most of my friends tip-toed around making me angry because I once sent an older kid to the hospital because he tried to burn a kitty. I had pretty strong legs so I could even lift our morbid obese friend while playing football.
>She always warned me about creepers and gave me examples of what creeper touching would feel like, but that just turned me on.
user, are you sure she wasn't just making up excuses to grope you herself?
>working overnight again fucking up sleep schedule
>got tired of everyone around me, deleted social media and connections I've made over the past year
>picked up old hobbies and started working out because I want to join the military
I'm sorry that happened to you, user. Definitely get another dentist. You really don't want to have an asshole dentist. I avoided seeing mine for years in large part because he was kind of an asshole when he gave me some fillings back in high school, and I ended up with some serious problems. Then I found another dentist who tried to scam me. But finally, I found one who was very nice and understanding and also lived much closer to me. That's definitely a weight off my shoulders. Good luck in your search.
Right now i'm just drinking scotch and watching anime to help wean off the crushing depression that i feel every weekday.