How would Yea Forums survive a zombie apocalypse?

No meme thread. How would you try to survive a apocalyptic scenario?

1) Will you join a group or go lone wolf?
2) What kind of group would you join/create?
3) How to do deal with other humans?

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"dies the fire" has a much better apocoliptic scenario

go to a bar a drink a pint

Just live on my dad's yacht lol

Isn't the solution usually "Get your ass to an oil rig/island?"

self aware enough to know i would die within the first few days desu

Pretty smart, user. Do zombies float? You might be fucked, also do dead fish also turn into zombies?

I'm in the middle of the city and have no friends/loved ones near me. No car, no guns. I'm basically fucked from day one.

Yea Forums wouldn't

I'm a veteran and I have no marketable skills beyond shooting people.

So I'd either kill people and take their shit or have someone pay me to do it to someone else or be paid to keep someone from doing it to themselves. If I had any viable skills I wouldn't pick.that but as soon as my shit runs out I'd rather do that than starve. I'd hold off from wanton killing until the food ran out. But I wont go hungry.

Go live in a Costco. Infinite food and it's a fucking castle

>live in AZ
>Summer
>110 degrees everyday
>zombies just cook in the sun for a couple of hours and die
>crisis averted

I’d just go to a fancy bakery and eat everything there before I kill myself

>Lives in NYC
I'd be one of the first that gets firebombed/nuked to oblivion.

I imagine/hope we all turn into that otaku samurai from world war z (the book)

Doesn't matter, more food for me

I would suicide because I hate zombies alot

How? Do you live in a big city or something. I think i would last atleast for the first month.

Projecting.

But then zombies would win.

no because if you die then you become a zombie and are now on the winning team

Former soldier here.
I live near a big hunting weapon and supplies market and will raid it first thing and get me some guns.
Then I’l team up with nearby family, friends and other survivors as a start and probably try to take charge of the group.

>And will raid it first thing and get me some guns
I bet a lot of people will plan to the same, and just doing that might kill you on day 1 since you're competing against other survivors.

>probably try to take charge of the group.
Do you actually have leadership skills? Everyone talking about the zombie apocalypse always thinks they're a "leader".

Even if they can float, I doubt they can swim. In reality, surviving a zombie apocalypse may not be that hard depending on where you are. Traditional zombies are slow and clumsy and have no higher cognitive functions. The only real issue is that in movies, they're often way stealthier than they logically should be. A brainless, stiff walking corpse should really make a lot more noise than it usually does.

That's the core conceit of zombie media; stories often ignore blatant weaknesses in order to make them more threatening. If there were actual zombies walking around, there might be a decent number of casualties, but they'd probably be put down before a significant amount of damage occurs. Of course, if it's a Resident Evil style zombie where there are higher tiers of monsters like Lickers and the like, then yeah, it'd be tough. But if it's just traditional human corpse zombies, then it's impossible for them to win. That said, people panic and do stupid things in crazy situations, so it all boils down to whether you can keep your shit together.

Shooting a zombie with a normal pistol probably wouldn't do much, even if you shot them in the head. They're probably not even using most of their brains in the first place, so unless you shoot the parts of their brains that specifically controls the body's motor functions, it wouldn't do anything. If you had a shotgun or something, though, it'd be a different story. Zombies seem to deteriorate as an extremely fast rate (most zombies are shown to have heavily rotted flesh), so they'd probably lose the ability to move pretty fast. If you can just manage to survive for a couple days, it should blow over. The police and military should win sooner or later.

That's only assuming the only way to transmit the zombie virus is orally. If it's airborne or something, then we're probably fucked.

I’m on a military base and in all honesty I’d probably be fucked. Everyone is naturally going to start flocking there for shelter and protection and it’s only a matter of time before the wrong person gets let in and it goes to hell from there.

Highly depends on the type of zombie.

Walking dead type? Will be dealt with by the international community fairly quick.

WWZ? RIP everyone.

Had I this choice and no opposition for it, I would choose it too.

isn't there some kind of parasite that takes over the bodies of ants and basically makes them zombies
the fact that exists at all is a little concerning

Forgot to mention, I’m not American and I live in a tiny town of old people and other weaklings without weapons, I will get to the market quickly and get armed. Also I’m pretty much the strongest and most fit guy at our local gym because there isn’t much competition. Taking charge shouldn’t really be a problem considering most people here would be very scared and in bad shape.

There is. Last of Us used this concept for their zombies/infected.

You're just killing yourself with a group like that if were talking walking dead scenario where everything is just completely fucked. You've now got to feed all those people. And since you're now babysitting the old and weak they'll turn on you the minute the power goes out and you can't fix it yourself.

Your brain is a lot more complicated than an ants. Not to mention that'd mean you're still alive so the elements will kill them off very quickly. There are plenty of healthy ant colonies so it wouldn't affect modern man.

Yeah Last of Us revolves around that parasite mutating and affecting people too

I FUCKING WISH this would happen so i had a good excuse to start killing millions

edgy

It's honestly a really dumb premise if you knew anything about parasites and biology. I'd imagine they thought they were being clever with this, though.

>Mosquito's start sucking zombie blood
>Everyone is fucked

Roll credits.

You'd more likely get picked off by someone who wanted your shit.

I'd look around for a bright as fuck pillar of light that's in the distance and hope that there's a box.

Mosquitoes can't carry coagulated blood. If they did they'd be on dead bodies. They take living blood.

Oh yeah sure, I just meant at the beginning of the outbreak while everything is turning shit I would probably help as many as possible.
When food and water becomes scarce and the main issues I would roam the country sides with a trusty dog Mad Max style instead.

You dont know who you just replied to saying that theyd get killed trying or if they were smart would ask me for tips on killing

Zombies are pretty stupid in the first place unless we are talking about some kind of rabies and not undeads. But I thought the concept in Last of Us is at least sort of original and unsettling

the moment an outbreak happened you'd be crying trying to gain the courage to blow your own brains out and you know it pussy

Simple. Just hide out somewhere for like 3 months. Meat rots, retards

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Why? Just leave, you can't be responsible for everyone. Your best bet is stockpile what you can and lay low. A real zombie invasion would be boring as fuck really. Everyone would just grab all they could and hide until the military got it under control.

How many people will larp as Negan?

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Id shout at the top of my voice YEESSSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA then grab my machete you dont know who youre replying to user

zombie apocalypse sounds pretty comfy

If walking dead is what were talking about thered be so much chaos and despair itd be a free for all where you could get dropped by literally anyone. Itd be complete fucking chaos and a lot of the capable would die from attempts at altruism or just bad luck as well. Nothing would stop you from just getting clipped on your way out of town.

no, no you wouldn't faggot
now stop posting before I cringe so hard my butthole puckers so tight I end up flipping my body inside out

With the amount of zombie media in the mainstream that showcased how to deal with regular zombies, I’m pretty sure most people who even watched just one flick would know how to play it safe.

They'd all get blasted from behind from some random dude in the first couple days.

Heh.. why yes I would thrive in the upcoming downfall of civilization. I have prepared myself for this my whole life.. Neither the dead nor the living would stand a chance against my blades.. I will claim the power which fate owes me DO NOT defy or cross my path.. unless eternal darkness is that you prefer..

I am a prepper anyway, so i'm ready.

>2 Bow with multiple arrows and i know how to make them
>3 different hunting knives
>1 machete
>1 big axe
>2 Swiss army knives
>Years of camping experience
>Cooking skills
>Farming skills

The first week you should do nothing at all. This is definitely the most dangerous period because of desperate people trying to find food/weapons. Just wait it out as long as possible in your and start raiding houses with your weapons.

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I drag both your heads around on the end of a chain just let people know anyone and I mean ANYONE that goes against me is DEAD FUCKING MEAT im on your side fu kers dont EVER forget that id save your ass for free wouldnt want a ration

And all they do is look cool and hijack ants for a cool growth Spot.
Actual zombie scenarios are dumb If we talk about nature. The fungus actually takes the ant away from her nest instead of being a ticking bomb. Zombie like that would try to leave Society in order to grow in numbers. Like Yea Forums.
Now If being a zombie is a symptom of a much more dangerous super black death, thats an apocalypse.

>random nigger teenager breaks into your house and shoots you in the back
Bad luck!