Ever notice how former Umbrella research staff don't seem to land new jobs despite having experience with a top pharmaceutical firm like Umbrella? Weird right? It's almost like they just disappear off the face of the earth.
Meanwhile at Umbrella Labs
Jeremiah Green
Xavier Lopez
HR is the worst department in this entire company. I told them that the Dickers we made had taken over one of our testing labs and they said they'd send word to head office. One week later and the Dickers are still loose, only now our Dicker program's funding has been tripled
Luis Powell
I fucking hate vegans so much bros. Fine, they wanna eat plants? I'll make them into fucking plants. I've put some Plant 43 seedlings into the cafeteria selection then I'm going home early.
Henry James
This one time we were working on this parasite that was infected with a virus and my supervisor left the room. My idiot coworker starts dangling it over a damn T-Unit body, fucktard dropped it right in its mouth. We had to quarantine the whole lab. He gets promoted for a scientific breakthough. Failing upward much?
Dylan Rivera
Wesker wants to congratulate you on your fine work user. Come to the Tyrant testing room
Anthony Martin
I've got a crush on this Japanese qt. What department does she work in?
Jonathan Morales
Wilpharma are hirin-
>shut down for viral development and the creation of biological weapons
Tricell are hirin-
>shut down for viral development and the creation of biological weapons
Umbrella is hiring. (the blue one) Try applying there.
David Flores
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLUE ROOSTER CRANK I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT.
Benjamin Hill
all I fucking ask for is a work schedule that's not as volatile and unpredictable as R&D's latest experiments on attempting to weaponize moles and gophers as carriers
Camden Ward
Hey, it's Bring Your Fertile 12-Year-Old to Work Day. Why the fuck didn't anyone else bring their kid? How come I'm the only one stuck playing Dad at work? Christ.