Summarize this game's story in 3 sentences or less

Easter Egg (Materia) hunting.
Jamming to MIDI music.
Exploiting glitches are a game mechanic.

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Eco terrorists have to fight both an evil corporation which rules the population, while a much more malicious individual lurks beneath the shadows, planning to destroy the world with a gigantic Meteor. They all learn a little bit about themselves as they scramble to save the one home they all share from destruction. The game ends ambiguously, with Meteor stopped but the fate of the party and humanity themselves unclear.

Girly boy with brain damage and his colorful band of ecoterroists chase girly boy with brain damage 2 around the world after he becomes the Thing. They occasionally get harassed by the power company.

Garbage

I'm looking through the Chocobo breeding guide again. I can't believe I actually did all this shit as a kid. I'm playing through the game again, probably my fourth time, but only once ever did I get a Golden. Now just reading it, I can feel the patience already draining from me even considering starting the quest.

Censored trash

Some fag goes on an adventure after losing his memory. There's a slut but she's the worst girl so forget about her. The dude's idol goes insane or someshit so you gotta go put him down because that's a pretty common anime trope.

muh planet

OP asks for three sentences. People give him three words. Well done Yea Forums.

>3 sentences or less.
reading is hard

Dude with self esteem issues chase after dude with mommy issues.

An ancient alien virus crashed into the world on a meteor centuries ago. A modern day megacorporation begins performing super soldier experiments using the virus, creating a child from the DNA of the virus. The child goes crazy and tries to destroy the world, and it's up to a rag tag bang of ecoterrorists to stop him.

Blonde anime dude and his Greta team rescues the planet 'cause mad alien.

DUDE LIFESTREAM LMAO

It's like twenty hours, right?

I've never done it, but what always annoyed me was that the real reward was a summon you'd use in like two fights. VII's post game sucked, which makes sense, I guess. The remake probably won't improve on this.

Alien space monster brings calamity. Scientific and industrial progress brings another calamity from the first. Cloud is a loser with memory problems and his friends try to save the world, but only because they dislike the villain and what he did to them.

Infantile writing makes manchildren go full retarded for a sports bra.

I don't think that's in FF7.

Scientist turns into vampire and goes to sleep in a coffin only to be awakened by some teenage shitlords. Also something something aliens, glowing anal beads and giant chickens.