Elden Ring

SHATTERED!

>it's another pretentious Yea Forumsfag circlejerks their pretentious """""god-tier"""" writing based on rules theyve made up to make them feel more cultured than the rest of us
Name one game with a good story bitch.

I hope so, it would be pure ludo.

youtube.com/watch?v=KyS_c0ZpMB8

ELDEN RING

Attached: file.png (800x450, 275K)

vocaroo.com/i/s1afcjDvaqMP

based

And? It turns the storyline into one of discovery and intuitive thinking. Oh, sorry. Did you need somebody to read this post out loud to you in order to understand? Don't worry; I just called the horologist over to take a look at the cogs in your brain so you won't have to.

Attached: F4342E20-CDA4-4CC2-A46B-32906A0F0C95.jpg (800x586, 111K)

Absolute cringe, typical fromdrone that can't argue or form a coherent sentence.

Nice projection bro.

Attached: 1527371086363.png (645x729, 147K)

>Being this assblasted because you got called out for being a retard.
>"Cringe, bro."

Attached: Bait.gif (512x287, 2.33M)

This entire post is pure disgusting, and your insult doesn't even make sense within its own context.

this trailer was good but not as epic as dark souls intro.

>caring about story in games
are you literal braindead?

seething

MUH ELDEN RING
How easily manipulated are you, vidya? Pathetic

What is this? Bible camp? Can no one have fun here?

Yikes

Dilate

Attached: 1559401876836.png (838x1035, 398K)

Unironically will throw money at anything From makes

Attached: 1539738881782.jpg (720x540, 66K)

Attached: dlIw0Rb.gif (200x189, 828K)

Not only that but this time around it's written by George R. R. "The More She Shat" Martin.

Based, from are one trick ponies.

ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL

Will it have fat pink masts and shitting water scenes?

-strained buzzing and whirring as his motorized chair struggles to remain functional- "Ah, ha ha, *munch, munch* ol' J.R.R., didn't, ah, see you come in! -burp- No please, please, [smack] sit down, sit down, there' something we, (pant) need to talk about. *farts* Heavens excuse me, oh ho! Well getting down to 'brass tacks' - or brass tax, I might say SNORT! - yes, well I was sitting, counting the money coming in from, slurp, my show - terribly taxing ah yes? - when the thought occurred me, watching that money from my award-winning show... [belch] from my, (siiippp) award, award, awar... sorry, I lost my breath, award-winning books, that I [chews] that I can't seem to recall you mentioning [more chewing] anything about Gondor's *blows nose* taxation policy. Surely I must have -releases one long wet smelly fart - missed it while glancing through the pages (cough). You did [scratches ballsack] say something about it, right? Sales tax? (sweats) Value-added tax? *licks lips* Don't just sta - oh my my heart - stand there my man, out with it! Surely the, the thought has crossed your mind?! -chuckles until accidental urination-"

Attached: american tolkien.jpg (645x729, 124K)

ooooooooooooooohh..... elden ring.....

OOOOOOOOHHHH (grunt, grunt)
HNNGGGGGGG (sniiifffffff)
AHHHHHHHHHH

elden riiiiiiiiiing......

Attached: 1481530047536 (2).jpg (540x807, 132K)

OOOOOOOOH Elden Ring!
alwaysrenownedforit'scommandoverthestars

Attached: mwah.jpg (480x360, 14K)

>Aaaand action
...
>Action Orson, pls
...
>He doesn't do anything?
...
MWAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The Elden Ring, alwaysbeencelebratedforitscommandoverthestars...
ThereisajapaneseRPGbyhidetakamiyazakiinspiredbythesameexcellence,fermentedinabottl
>CUT

Attached: MWAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA.png (954x716, 1.31M)

AHHHHHHHHHHH

If you talk about video games, you bastard, you're playing right into THEIR hands. You piece of shit.

Attached: The Wesker.jpg (636x424, 129K)

did you come to this thread with the specific intention of being a faggot?

GOD I WANT TO IMPREGNATE HIM ALREADY

Attached: Elden-Ring-796x417.jpg (796x417, 38K)

Attached: (you).gif (480x238, 415K)

Have sex incel

NWWWWAAAHHH

UHHHH GO DILATE TRANNIE

>scaly plagued boipussi

I hope they don't just make it re-skinned Dark Souls 3.

>Roll
>Roll
>Roll
>Roll again, roll one more time
>One more roll for good measure
>Oh shit you rolled early, better roll again to cover the previous bad roll!
>Ok, time to attack
>r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1r1 with my straight sword unga bungaaaaa fun bidyo game

Hand it over that thing your Elden Ring

Attached: A5A12E28-7141-4AD2-B129-7D4A0C9E353D.png (1334x750, 1.37M)

HAHAA HE SAID IT
say the one about taxes!!!!

why are you faggots so obsessed with GRRM description of a character having diarrhea?

LOOK UP AT THE SKY
IT
BURNS

Attached: 1544231838387.jpg (250x249, 7K)

Is it like a spooky OOOOOOOHHHHHH or dying old man OOOOHHHHHHH, what sound does it make

>Name one game with a good story bitch.
Quake 3 Arena.

Game of Rings

>Everyone I disagree with is a tranny
>Everything I hate is Reddit
>Everything I hate is /pol/

Kek, alright.

Her cunt became the world

Attached: 9025222.jpg (901x1104, 1.25M)

Kind of like
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

Cope

This one was reattaching it's arm right? And the smith at the anvil was cracking like ceramic. Are the people in this game going to be like golems/constructs instead of flesh and blood humans?

Seething this hard

LOL HE WROTE ABOUT DICKS AND CHARACTERS SHITTING SO FUCKING FUNNY AHAHAHAHAH

>what sound does it make
I DOUBT YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE IT

Have sex.

Nah but i will say the one about fat pink masts and little girls with dysentery.

Samefag

>Defending fanfic tier writing and prose
WEW

you forgot to post a pepe of a wojak with that post you fucking faggot

whats your favorite book?

Unironically Harry Potter books

THE ELDEN RING

Attached: Screenshot (1003).png (883x627, 383K)

everyone point and laugh

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ELDEN RING

Attached: Screenshot (1004).png (889x629, 429K)

you're 16 and straight out of reddit
leave

we replaced the prosthetic arm with....an arm!

whoa

What made this stand out from all the other shitty cinematic trailers?

LOOK UP AT THE SKY, DOMON!

Attached: 1519321280100.jpg (960x720, 141K)

I would have rather have this as a souls game setting.

Attached: nightland-hodgson.jpg (411x484, 99K)

it's fromsoft

based dark land poster

I'm not an expert on this story, but I thought that the vast majority of the monsters inhabiting this setting can't be fought, only avoided.
Don't know how you'll make that into a souls game.

What? You mean chickenlumps?

they're called goose pimples

i hope there are lesser rings i can cast spells with and stop the bad guy

Attached: 1532420840843.png (657x527, 44K)

>bad guy
lmao

S H A T T E R E D

Attached: 1519852573805.jpg (720x727, 28K)

It's gooseflesh you uncultured swine

BY SOMEONE OR SOMETHING

BY SOMEONE
OR SOMETHING

DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T SEE IT

Attached: 1555196556006.jpg (700x719, 63K)

OOOOHHHHHHH

I hope they replace rolling with sidestep and back step that have no iframes

LOOK UP AT THE SKY

Attached: [WOOOOOOOOOOs internally].webm (834x630, 328K)

Did anyone find the dialogue in the intro incredibly cringey?

IT BURNS

Attached: 1476819585699.png (1024x768, 737K)

It was pretty bad. but it's Fromsoft

based

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ELDEN RING!

Attached: anakin.jpg (509x625, 31K)

Tolkien was an overrated luddite proto-boomer fuck.

yikes

How am I supposed to see it if I can't even imagine it, though?

The writing actually has me worried. Apparently they got GRRM to write the "mythos"? GRRM's worldbuilding is nothing special and in some cases (read: Slaver's Bay) is particularly bad. His strength is in grand overarching plots with lots of moving parts, and on naturally fleshing out a diverse cast of characters with their own unique perspectives. I fear those strengths will be lost if we're stuck with a plot composed solely of fucking item descriptions again, and we'll just be stuck with the mediocre worldbuilding.

the base for the lore was written by miyazaki
martin expanded it
and the rest was written by other from software writers

Look up at the sky!

Attached: 1492038434784.jpg (369x387, 35K)

I still don't see a ring.

Attached: confused-looking-anime-girls-with-interrogation-marks-on-their-heads-2558113.png (500x646, 97K)

trailer gave me goosebumps ON MY ERECTION

See:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

This is a good thread.

Yeah, with the lack of gameplay.

Almost as lacking as your sex life.

trailer still gave me a boner mostly because of how hype the announcer was.

Holy shit

user, chill.

I doubt you could even imagine it.

they don't read books but saw that on Yea Forums and use it as proof that they are far better writers than him

Yooooooooooo

*Gong

*Flame emoji's*

Attached: 1558841412644.png (516x440, 157K)

FEET
TAX POLICY
SHE DRANK AND SHE SHAT
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
ELDEN RING

LOOK UP AT THE SKY

Dude you can't just that.
What the fuck
Oh my god

can't imagine more retarded names desu senpai
this is nothing short of "Geographical locations from where the humanoidal creatures also knows as the silent ones, due to their quiet nature, move in an possibly but not necessarily orderly fashion"

>jousting with norse gyoubu
sounds comfy

>Have mini boss knights that challenge you to a joust
>if you knock them off they lose 50% of their health and their horse runs away
>If they knock you off the same thing happens to you
>Continue to fight on/off horseback against the knight

THE ELDEN RING
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH
E L D E N
R I N G

>Lose 50% of my hp
>I take 1 sip of my sunny D

Not very balanced unless he has sunny D too...

Attached: 1559962800058.jpg (960x1231, 167K)

>Not very balanced unless he has sunny D too...
>lose ability to drink sunny d after taking a lance to the jugular
>proceed

>Knock them off you can't lose unless you're absolute garbage
>Get knocked off you can't win unless you're a God which you're not since you got knocked off

Attached: 1560111566006.png (480x480, 148K)

>>Knock them off you can't lose unless you're absolute garbage
Have you seen the playerbase? 66.9% of PC players got the achievement for killing Gyoubou.

Anyone else got Diablo 2 vibes from the trailer

plot twist: this game takes place in the Wolf's left forearm

Not even remotely.

Attached: 1560113680682.png (460x460, 429K)

Damn.

I see men cutting off their dicks because society says they can be women if they want to, and people are pushing it on kids.

I can imagine all there is to imagine.

OoooOOOoooOOhhhhh... Elden Ring

Attached: oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh.png (279x272, 63K)

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH........ MYYYY PEEENUSS WEEEENUSSS

ooohhhhhhhh ELDEN RIIIING

Attached: index.jpg (225x225, 12K)

Where sun glasses retard

DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T SEE IT

>where
Now I'm the retard

O MY ELDEN RING

I hope we get a bunch of main bosses and mini bosses.

Will /ourguy/ Patches be in this one, bros?

i have no idea whats going on with the achievements
somehow more people killed ishiin than people that got the actual immortal severance ending
did they stop right after the boss fight and never played again?
i dont get it

OOOHOOOH~
COME LOOK UPON THE ELDEN RING, UPON THE ELDEN RING

>somehow more people killed ishiin than people that got the actual immortal severance ending
you know there are 4 different endings
3 of them have the same last boss

>When someone links you a Vaati video
vocaroo.com/i/s0Xm3LgbNGQL

yeah, i guess
unless you cheated/are a streamer, you probably got immortal severance though

He wasn't in Sekiro so no

maybe
they said they dont want to feel forced to include that kind of stuff in every game

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ELDEN RING

Attached: 1538430791676.jpg (98x173, 6K)

what about the moonlight gs

even if not a usable weapon, i miss it when it doesn't show up like sekiro

Attached: 7pUOK66.gif (500x506, 934K)

divine dragon has the moonlight gs though

How do you know about user's sex life?

Attached: 1515343341208.jpg (574x421, 48K)

plot twist: the elden ring is your puffy asshole

no he doesnt

yes, he does.

the sword the dragon has is this
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven-Branched_Sword

not the moonlight sword

im not saying it doesnt also have a historical inspiration
but that sword is not big, a shade of blue, capable of shooting projectiles, and wielded by a white dragon

gameinformer.com/2019/01/25/our-full-hidetaka-miyazaki-sekiro-shadows-die-twice-interview
>Are we going to be able to get the Moonlight Greatsword in the game?
>(Laughs) Not this time.

>First of all, we want to make it clear that – we have this reputation for featuring the Moonlight Greatsword and things like that in our games – we don’t want this to feel like too much of a bind. We’re creating this new IP and this new world. We don’t want to feel like we’re beating a dead horse or just going to put it out for the sake of it or just going to cram it into the lore in some way. It kind of puts restrictions on us, so we are not featuring the Moonlight Greatsword this time.

Why is your asshole puffy, user? Stop fucking it perhaps?

>needs a specific line that says "THIS IS THE MOONLIGHT GREATSWORD, IT'S VERY COOL AND HARNESSES MAGIC" to understand a reference

you are fucking retarded
kill yourself