>actor keeps walking in the office in work hours and he wants to play Cyberpunk 2077 on PC
>"Keanu doesn't understand how hard are we working, he kicks chairs and grumbles that he wanna play"
>actor grumbles very loudly that he's bored and says "someone else can walk, and I'll just shoot"
>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me", he once deleted some important files that way
source
archive.fo
Other urls found in this thread:
archive.fo
youtu.be
pl.wikipedia.org
youtube.com
youtube.com
change.org
youtube.com
huffpost.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
Based Keanu, I love him!
>BillMurraycopypasta.txt
BASED
>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me", he once deleted some important files that way
fucking kek
unironically based
wait a minute, Polish people have enough of a sense of humor to have a little satire news site?
he def has that bill murray weirdo vibe to him
OMG ITS ACTOR FROM MEDIA I CONSUME !!! I LOVE CELEB TRIVIA !!!
Keanu Reeves The Videogame: Cyberpunk 2077.
cute, but Keanu Reeves is probably the realest nigga in the world. He lives a solitary life, has lost most of his loved ones, and gives extensively to charities. Pretty much everyone whose worked with him says he's amazing.
Based.
Sticking it to CDPR.
he cute
retard op failed to mention asz is satire like the onion.
>archive.fo
O skurwesyn!
Widze co tu zrobiłeś user, nie wiem czy mam powiedzieć prawde xD
Don't you have a Nessa thread to jack off to?
I'm going to roast Warwick Davis and his family alive. Oh God, It's gonna be great. You start with his kids. It wouldn't even be hard, just hold both parents in your left arm while the right holds a twig you found in your backyard, both of his kids skewed between two marshmallows. The screams of the parents are at first drowned out by the screams of the kids, but eventually the kids stop. Your dog runs by and hits your leg, causing you to lose balance and one kid and the front marshmallow burst into flame. You take your loss and let them fall into the fire, while both balloon up and eventually pop and sizzle, becoming one with the hot burning coals. The other kid you get just right though, evenly crisped from top to bottom. When you move onto the parents you decide to not go through the trouble of roasting both so you just throw Warwick's wife into the fire immediately in lieu of a new piece of wood. Now Warwick, Warwick you really have to take your time with. You just hold Warwick over the firepit with your own two hands until the Ewok costume becomes engulfed in hellish, licking flames. Once you drop him into the pit you think that you're just looking at the Ewoks face, but you realize that it's already burned away and Warwick has the exact same dead, black eyes. You stomp out the flames and the Ewok fur gets caught on your shoe. You scrape it off with the marshmallow stick and move onto the next midge family.
>not locking the pc when you leave it
the absolute state of cdpr
>archive.fo
any toilet cleaner here to confirm if the translation/article is legit?
Toilet cleaner here, yep its legit, 100% true, no doubt about it.
>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me"
got me pretty good
(you)
this fucking guy
That should be obvious, newfag.
how does it feel to be so funny
>"Unfortunately, this time he deleted many important files and it was necessary to transfer the premiere in April 2020. " - t. Google Translate
This can't be a serious article, right? Is this site the Polish equivalent of The onion?
ABSOLUTELY BASED
>s this site the Polish equivalent of The onion?
ye
Good for him, I heard that if you are not a big guy working at CDProject as a low grunt, junior or assistant it is a shithole working environment and hours.
Even in fake articles keanu is based
Funny story, because I had one quite similar. I saw Keanu at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
>on PC
Love that man. During the presentation you could tell he was trying really hard to stick to the script and not just start spazzing out about being in the game.
OMG IT'S AN ACTOR FRO. MEDIA I DONT COMSUME!!! I HAVE TO POST WOJAK TO SHOW THOSE NPCS!!!
kek
no. yes.
>"someone else can walk, and I'll just shoot"
kek
Based
I saw Keanu Reeves at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any breathtaking infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
>"that's a game about me"
Why did he bully Plato so much? What was his problem?
Looks like the new MOM'S GONNA copy&pasta
Our guy as a DLC character when?
You'd be surprised. We're just pretending to be miserable.
he's also lonely
>You'd be surprised. We're just pretending to be miserable.
Why are Polish bros so based?
Would rather have Dolph Lundgren
Post the Point Break ones
It’s lonely being immortal
Keanu was adorable in the IGN interview
You need it if you live in Poland
never
just report him for using an avatar but the meaningless mods won't do anything as the only rule they quickly enforce is r15
well, his gf had a kid stillborn, and then died in a car crash shortly after. he hasn't had any relationships since. (iirc)
That's funny fucking bit of writting.
>asshole who got hired to work on product x praises product x
that's not using an avatar, fag
One of us. Mabye someone should introduce him to the sweetness of 2D girls? To ease the pain until he find his happiness?
>this gun sucks, imma delete it
>*deletes various .xml files and system32*
good laugh from me, are poles - dare i say - kings of video game related news comedy?
It's not that bad. My city has a church and McDonalds, so we are good to go. We even have running water sometimes. We are still figuring out this new "internet" thing, but we ar making progress.
You get used to Poland's quirks eventually.
>We even have running water sometimes
Hi there Skierniewice bro
>no, Diogenes, the emptiness is not in my head
>it is in my heart
Oh he'll find true love. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe it's going to take 100 years but he will find that special someone to share a couple decades with. Then she'll die and he'll be lonely again for 100 years.
>>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me"
>how to easily manipulate retards
and it works!
Daily reminder that:
>Keanu character is dead.
The guy we saw in the trailer is his digital copy, that will help the player progress toward the game.
Most of Keanu appearences will be trhough voice only since he will the one that will do things like help oppen doors, bypass security defenses and deal with AI in the cyberspasce.
Because of that, they didn't need him that much before, since if he had said no, they could easily substitute him with another one to read his lines.
Makes no mistake, his likeness will still appear through the game, but mostly, he will be just a guide since Silverhand character actually died in an assault against a corporation.
The entire premisse of thet Cyberpunk story is that Johnny Silverhand AI is delivered to V (the protagonist) through a "dead man's switch deal" and installed on his personal implant to avenge Silverhand and bring justice to the ones that killed him.
The story will branch from here with many endings.
Keanu will most probabbly be avenged in the end, and because of this, he will not appear in the second installment (imagine how difficult would be to sign a second contract with him).
There, I spoiled the game for you guys. Hope you enjoy.
>journey asks "do you have gf?"
>"oh no, right now no, i'm the lonely type haha. maybe someday"
>write article "keanu is so depressed and lonely and screaming for help"
Wow congrats user for seeing through the mind control
So thats why the game is FPP only
>Johnny, alongside Morgan Blackhand assault the Arasaka HQ in Night City, with the intention of ending the Fourth Corporate War. Johnny is seemingly killed by the full-borg Adam Smasher, cut down by an auto shotgun. Johnny's body is not recovered by the Assault team, and after the HQ is destroyed by the Nuke, it can only be assumed his body is vaporized.
He's a hologram that haunts your brain basically. You can see him a few times in this youtu.be
>it doesn't have to be at night
>it doesn't have to be in a large city
>it doesn't need to be 3rd person
>it doesn't need to have the different classes
>it doesn't need the player to be able to use flying cars
>It doesn't need accessible interiors for buildings
>It doesn't need to be free of liberal bullshit
>It doesn't need to have good customisation options
>it doesn't need to have real dialogue choices
>it doesn't need you to be able to join different factions
>it doesn't need to have killable NPCs
>it doesn't need to have Trauma Team as a gameplay element the player can use
>it doesn't need to have destructible environments
>it doesn't need to have good graphics
>it doesn't matter that CD Projekt Red is staffed by Americans now
>it doesn't need mod support
>it doesn't need to have good box art
>It doesnt need to not blow all its budget on b list actors
>it doesnt need to be an RPG
>your character doesnt need to be a blank slate
>V doesnt need to not be 2077 Geralt
WE ARE NOW HERE
>it doesn't need dynamic weather systems
>it doesn't need to have a branching story
>it doesn't need to have massive crowds of people
>it doesn't need to not be downgraded
>it doesn't need to have substance
>it doesn't need to not be GTA 2077
Yet everyone here seems to forget all of this because they put in one meme actor whose last film was almost a decade ago (John Wick) and even then it was a mediocre flick at best.
>man I love sucking dicks and being a wojack tool
Fixed.
>... he once deleted some important files that way
O-ok Ch-chad, I'll lend you my PC to play, b-but please don't delete my save files, o-ok?
>electrical infetterence
every time
based
I lost my wife and daughter, I'm depressed and I like videogames
Why you guy don't call me based aswell?
>pl.wikipedia.org
>ASZdziennik - Polish website of an entertainment and satirical nature, publishing texts in the form of fictitious news, founded by Rafał Madajczak in 2011 [1] Since 2014 belongs to the NaTemat.pl group [2] . It parodies conventional, online information services. It covers a wide range of topics, from politics, through social issues, to culture.
lol
sorry about your wife and daughter user
I've never had a lose like that, so I can't tell you how to get over that grief
I hope you find better days
no shit
Did you think everyone in this thread believed the article was genuine?
>fell for the yellow fever meme
He asked for it.
do you really think I would do something so plebian as actually read the thread before posting?
Good job user, you destroyed that retard
Lurk more, summer friend.
I don't get it, what about the emptiness inside that cup?
>launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me"
I will unironically do this.
>2019
>he actually reads through the threads he posts in
Ishygddt
thought so bitch
>>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me", he once deleted some important files that way
That's some legit autism right there but holy fuck am I dying
Not just once
That isn't avatarfagging, though
Guys, did ya know Keanu Reeves is in new Cyberpunk game?
>tfw keanu ate all the cupcakes an employee originally baked for the whole office
t. Plato
Just kind of realized that one of the hipster sjw things they all flock to is trivia night at the local bars. Why is that? Is it a way to flaunt their pseudo-intelligence? Im just now noticing this weird trend and it bothers me.
midge
Do you anons think he's somewhat interested in the game?
>That bulge
Pop culture facts is all they know and getting recognized for that gives them a fake sense of superiority and intelligence.
>actor grumbles very loudly that he's bored and says "someone else can walk, and I'll just shoot"
>man I can't stop sucking all these dicks
He seemed pretty into it on the interview he have IGN
What about jeopardy? Do they like real trivia shit?
alright
I always wanted to go to bar trivia night and when I turned 21 they weren't in style and now that I'm almost 30 and they are it's full of sjw's
The only pasta that never fails, besides navy seal.
>people like going to the bar and socializing
Figures this would be alien to a basement dweller
>he once deleted some important files that way
Based
youtube.com
heis not dead
I single handedly won Bowie trivia night once. Simpsons trivia almost ended in a brawl, the hipster zoomers got aggressive.
Nah he's right, I got roped into a bar quiz and it was fucking shit and boring. I'd like to just drink and talk not answer some fucking question about some obscure Hollywood producer from 1977 or how many toilet brushes Madonna can fit up her ass.
CUTE
In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.
>they assume he is dead, but they didn't see his corpse
He god blasted by a shotgun, and when his team broke contact with the target, the entire building was nuked.
Kind of difficult to believe that a severy wounded person would survive a nuclear blast.
Also, ask yourself: why would Keanu be using thermo optic camouflage in a garbage dump in the middle of noway, just to wake up his "Samurai"?
he is not really there dude. Silverhand is dead. All that remains is his AI wanting to avenge his own death.
Better than mine. My final question was in the category is Hydromagnetic Magnitwidle Dimensions
forced meme cock sucker
What happened to Yea Forums trivia?
So Arasaka is going to be the main villain?
Is this the new Grocery Store Ryan Gosling pasta?
The artist who drew the comic forgot to include the most important parts of that mythical exchange, thus making the comic more or less useless in its purpose.
>making drowning gestures
Every time
rent free
youtube.com
>when a random copypasta from years ago suddenly triggers him and we get a boatload of fresh content
Yea Forums is great sometimes.
>tfw keanu deletes two years worth of your work
>When the staff takes its deserved break after 11h of coding they found out Keanu raided the fridge and drank all their vodka.
fucking based
Arasaka is just one of the many mega corporations in that universe.
There is no "main villain corporation" on it. Only the ppl that work for it can be the villan (tho, you can take a corporation down, depending on the storyline).
Still, it's most likely that the guy who killed Johnny will be either the antagonist or deuteroantagonist. If Arasaka will survive this, it's another story entirely (since they HQ is located in Tokyo, not Night City.)
Based Keanu keeping them on their toes and making them show gameplay.
>play as female V
>take a shower
>Keanu appears
>yoo girl, those are some small tits!
>why dont you get an implant for only 200 credits?
Hes mean but right.
This is a nice Wojac
>I want every one in my game to be obscure so I can put myself in it
>Play male V
>Take a shower
>Keanu appears
>Hey Samurai, need a hand in there?
Damn Mike has a godly radio voice. My speakers pretty much exploded when he opened his mouth.
It makes sense. Johnny Silverhand is a celebrity in the game universe. By casting a famous actor in that role they impart the "this guy is a celebrity everyone knows" to anyone who doesnt know cyberpunk lore
Silver hanjob!
>Play male V
>Take a shower
>Keanu appears
>starts laughing at you
>...no wonder you want money that bad!
I want more Dio bullying Plato comics
>the digital consciousness of a rockstar (played by Keanu Reeves known for his sincerity) can watch you have sex
Are they gonna release DLC so I can swap Keanu with Ted and I can make male V Bill so we can go on a most based adventures in the future?
why else would he do it
>understand how hard are we working
Looked like basic hollywood movie interviews.
They're soulless.
"Peel it back samurai, We've got a foreskin to wash"
How long before he goes back into depression?
I can't tell who the fuck that is from that angle. Maybe I am just low IQ. Who is it?
You don't deserve life
Kill yourselves
You're right but stop replying to bait
josh brolin
GOD
DAMNIT
a dog
Brian Goose
>source: my ass
Jackie Chan
>goes back into depression?
Its not something you come out of, you can tell he's not at ease with the world when he isn't acting
Someone mind telling me why these 2 don't have a movie together yet?
don't care
Pitch that film, if you're so great
It's incredible how many retards in this thread can't recognize a joke article.
Justin Timberlake
Our old comedies made under commie regime are the best and most funny because most talented creators needed to make something which would make people laugh and censorship bureau wouldn't close the movie project and put director and screenwriters in jail.
Whoopie Goldberg
>My city has a church and McDonalds, so we are good to go
True freedom right there.
gay sex
Fuck man, good job, I thought we've been successful in baiting you all. For the reference if you ever find another polish user to be trolling use this picture. It's basically trollface from poland
Damn, we could be playing it in 2019 but thanks to Keanu they need to push it to april 2020.
No need to be so passive aggresive. I just want my 2 favorite actors and human beings be together.
UwU what's this
How big is Cyberpunk 2077 going to be? They said it's 6 districts, but how big are they?
Sorry, meant to reply here.
> aszdziennik
I once played a game of lasertag with Warwick.
he brought his kids.
and a 20st black bodyguard.
I remember the eyes of a pissed of body guard telling me not to come too close as I snipe across the deckways.
>>actor grumbles very loudly that he's bored and says "someone else can walk, and I'll just shoot"
>>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me", he once deleted some important files that way
King of Incels
He's talkin' true, my dad works for CDPR and told me exactly that
>Ryan Gosling is a NEET loser who's depressed and can't sleep
>Keanu Reeves is an easy-going homeless guy living around Ryan's neighbourhood
>Ryan comes across him one night going down to a 24 hour diner
>They get to talking and buys him something to eat
>They meet nightly at the diner for a couple of weeks
>Keanu tells Ryan that he's moving on one night, that he doesn't like to stay in one place for too long
>Ryan begs to come with him, that he doesn't have anything else anyway and that Keanu's the only friend he ever had
>The movie is about their hobo adventures and how Keanu teaches Ryan to appreciate life and Ryan learns about Keanu's terrible past
>This is breathtaking!
>Keanu hits the keyboard in frantic fashion
>delete 9 months of team work by mistake
>some cdpr devs literally die just from the thought how bad crunch will be now
about three fiddy
>at the end it turns out they are the same person, split personality disorder
Should have been Keanu instead of Russel in The Nice guys.
Great, now I'm sad that we'll never get this.
>Genuinely like Keanu
>read about his hardships in life and feel sad
>he still hasn't become JUST'd even after all he's been through
>lonely keanu sitting on a bench meme - sad and made me want to give him a hug
>seeing him happy makes me happy
>you're breathtaking happens - best part of E3 because being on Yea Forums for 15+ years, it's been year after year of constant disappointment, and this was actually a bright spot
>but Keanu is reddit
>don't want to be associated with reddit
>I can't like Keanu or his memes anymore
SIGHHHHHHHH
It feels good being "one of the few who can actually read the source without needing Machine Translations" for once. And yes, the translation of this satire piece seems to be correct.
Can he get any more based?
>Keanu is reddit
Keanu is for all of us.
Don't be that guy
>Keanu is reddit
that's just your opinion
>REEE CELEBRITIES IN MY SECRET CLUB ACTIVITY
Man, FUCK contrarians, don't be that kind of faggot that litters this place with their worthless existance, enjoy whatever the fuck you enjoy.
>Keanu is reddit
We have our own guy too.
will he survive cdpr's next game?
Keanu had a hard life.
Who is this poor guy?Looks like he needs some love
he'll upload his brain to the net no worries
It's just annoying that I grew up here with the sekkret klub mentality. Suddenly this faggot upstart, reddit - birthplace of stealing all of Yea Forums's memes, comes out of nowhere, and I do and like things that are apparently reddit even though it's not, and I'm told to "go back" even though I've been here way longer than the person telling me. Like, FUCK you, man.
You just described Fight Club but without anarchy uprising
CDPR CEO
Absolute chad
Who gives a fuck what some newfag that came here because he heard it was edgy tries to tell you? You know they're the stupid ones.
He loves his vidya. It's all that matters.
>taking that shit personally
You might have been here a while but you clearly haven't learned anything from it.
damn
based
Literally paying with his life force to give us good games.
How based, this is a chad you're a virgin
>his smile and optimism : gone
He slowly turned into Mark Cerny.
Just wanna give him a hug and tell him it's gonna be OK...and maybe lock him up for a couple weeks to get some sleep
JUST
Really? Huh, never watched Fight Club
>on PC
Well, Keanu is more based that I think.
You're missing out
DILATE
Fuck you beat me to it
Dude wanted to clean his hands of the witcher franchise, maybe c77 will turn his frown upside down in 10 months.
I'd love to play a game of Fridge The Midge with Warwick Davis. What's Fridge The Midge, one might ask? It's simple: you put a midget in a refrigerator. You and the boys put him in the crisper drawer, shut the door, gather 'round, drink some cold ones, and laugh yourself lightheaded over hearing the pathetic little midget's futile attempts to escape. He's not strong enough to push the door open, he doesn't have the leverage or space to even get the crisper drawer open, the cold is slowing him down, he's running out of air, he knows it's almost over for him and starts screaming for help. Maybe you liven things up a little by shaking the refrigerator to spook him, or say "oh my God is somebody in there" and open the door to give him a glimmer of hope before slamming it shut and mocking him, it's up to you. I wouldn't recommend letting the midget die, that's when things get complicated. Though, I suppose it'll be easy to hide the body, considering... you know.
I know he did something worse though. After completing the movie 'Speed', Reeves disappeared from public view for 6 months to complete a project he called his "life's calling". In August of 1995, Reeves gained notoriety for hijacking a school bus in Los Angeles and leading police on a 10 hour chase, ending in tragedy. Reeves, who appeared mentally disturbed and sporting a full beard, reportedly spent 6 months planning the hijacking. Due to the nature of the hijacking, police assumed it filming for a sequel to the Speed movie, and didn't respond until Reeves drove through a crowded marketplace, killing 16 and injuring over 100. Despite their best efforts, police were not able to stop Reeves, who drove the bus full of 44 elementary school children off the Santa Monica Pier. All the children died, and autopsies showed that all 44 had been molested by Reeves during the chase.
this is a big brain user
>and autopsies showed that all 44 had been molested by Reeves during the chase.
What did you do to his foot
so who was driving the bus?
you're an ignorant faggot and the cancer killing Yea Forums. Just thought you should know.
based beyond human comprehension
Which part?
isnt the bull murray shit true thoughh
only thing true about bill murray stories is that he's an asshole
Someone post the one where he eats the bird
It could be.
no one would believe it anyway
Ironically slavs have way better internet than 90% of US
>on PC
hori shito, is it possible for this man to get even more based?
I thought this pic was Lionel Messi before I looked it up
Literally never.
Reeves obviously
>google translates this PERFECTLY into PERFECT english
holy fuck
>original source is an Onion-tier satire site
Go fuck yourself, OP.
>gto
man, it's been sometime since i've seen it
I did not know that, damn, thats rough
Is it weird that I still want to play but unironically love this list?
It's just seething user that hates success of The Witcher series, probably some Bethesdadrone
you know ASZdziennik is polish The Onion?
So that's the reason behind his beard
Really?
I only have 100Mbps bandwith on my Wi-Fi. I don't think America's that far behind.
Nie guwno rutkowski
Kino Reeves
he's doing a jojo pose
They have lower bandwith AND montly data caps for twice the price. I'd call it shitty internet, but it's monopoly talking where there's only one main internet provider over large area. I'd say we still have at least three competent pretenders for the market and additional smaller companies fighting for smaller cities so we're fine in that matter.
Remember kids don't wait until you are in 30's to marry
there's no one to marry
reddit is just a buzzword invented by shitposting anons, don't let shitposting hamper your enjoyment of life
He actually did it himself
Now you're telling me?
I am already past 30.
But I'm nearing my 30s and I haven't had sex but I can't have sex without no experience and I can't get experience without having sex.
>I haven't had sex but I can't have sex without no experience and I can't get experience without having sex.
Pay for it you sperg
why tf would you get married? are you some sort of cuck?
>John Wick
>mediocre
dude
Literally doesn't need any of this shit, if you play cdprojekt shit for role playing and not just pretty good storytelling with some branching options here and there, you are retarded. It's a fourth game already, you should fucking know better at this point.
1 > 2 > 3
it got way too cheesy in 3rd
They are absolute shit but to the point that you might actually enjoy them if you just want to see Reeves shoot and beat shit up.
Carramba, that brings back memories. This cartoon was trippy as fuck.
>AO screencaps
perish
This is the most NPC post in this thread.
>he does it for free
oh wait
>Yea Forums pass
top cuck
Look for it, one day you will find it user but just look for it.
Based and roasted dwarf pilled.
please elaborate on a simpsons trivia brawl, that sounds like my dream scenario to every shitty trivia night i've ever been dragged to
Zacny bajcik kolego, props
>paying for your first time
The part where Plato calls him an idiot, mainly, which is what prompted Diogenes to call him a dumbass in return.
>Plato was discoursing on his theory of ideas and, pointing to the cups on the table before him, said while there are many cups in the world, there is only one `idea’ of a cup, and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups. “I can see the cups on the table,” said Diogenes, “but I can’t see the `cupness'”. “That’s because you have the eyes to see the cup,” said Plato, “but”, tapping his head with his forefinger, “you don’t have the intellect with which to comprehend `cupness’.” Diogenes walked up to the table, examined a cup and, looking inside, asked, “Is it empty?” Plato nodded. “Where is the `emptiness’ which precedes this empty cup?” asked Diogenes. Plato allowed himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, but Diogenes reached over and, tapping Plato’s head with his finger, said “I think you will find here is the `emptiness’.
>Only 100mbps
>Only
>muh celebrities
Literally kojimbo tier. I know that they got Tywin Lannister for Witcher 3, but at least it was just voice, not full face recreation. Yeah, nice immersion Cuck Pedo Reddit, well done. I'm going to pirate this piece of shit and I hope that they go bankrupt.
Not him but, mbps != MBps
100mbps is not much, really.
>why would Keanu be using thermo optic camouflage in a garbage dump in the middle of noway, just to wake up his "Samurai"?
So his enemies keep thinking he's dead
He is just jelly of autistic Keanu
Having more than 10MB per second is pretty much in parts of America, don't take everything for granted
Was Bitcher series ever that good?
>story
completly medicore
>gameplay
shit
>open world
not in first two games, in third one it's just endless bandit camps, monster nests and other formulatic shit
Maaaaybe graphics are alright, but other than that? They are customer friendly, I just wish they would have some non-medicore goods for me to consume.
Well, they're making Bill and Ted 3 and it's out 4 months after Cyberpunk so at least right?
Pretty good bait.
>the way his smile gradually fades
>Tywin Lannister
Compared to some of the names they've acquired for the Polish version of W3, Charles Dance is not really all that impressive.
They've got Wojciech Mann voicing a fucking horse (and everyone in Poland knows who Wojciech Mann is) and Krystyna Czubowna (essentially a Polish female equivalent of David Attenborough) as a one-time joke. Also, some big names behind Letho, Regis, Ciri and others.
No user, I think that he's actually retarded and he might believe what he wrote.
I thought Witcher 3 was genuinely amazing with the DLC and this is coming from someone who did not enjoy W1 and W2 at all
To tell the truth, first two pictures were taken for representative purposes, the third one is from some random interview take, the last one is from it as well. We can cherrypick moments when people are happy and sad and go with it both ways
Why did i laugh to this
>when Keanu finally agrees
>Keanu Reeves just walks around your office
WHY WON'T SOMEONE BEFRIEND HIM
How am I wrong? Oh boy, a monsters nest, I cant wait to fuck up some ghouls and blow it up for the 6574th time. That open world sure is amazing.
Diogenes was the OG Chad.
Literally came out as trans during E3, the only reason why presentation was closed.
No, it was born to be cheesy in the first 1st movie but then took itself way too seriously by the 2nd.
People loved the cool assassin guild shit in the first, but then the entire plot lines of both sequels became obsessed with it exploring it.
>Streets are just chock full of spies and contract killers, most of whom seem to be getting paid to kill each other
>Cops and the general public are just fine with this constant bullshit
I feel like this should be obvious, but trying to write a shadowy, mysterious organization of assassins and then going into fine detail about its inner workings and leadership is self-defeating.
Truly, a Man From Earth.
>that section in morocco
completely unnecessary.
Not all of us have datacaps, I think that might just be comcast.
he is paying the price for our indulgence
he doesn't want to get close to any one else since he's seriously afraid of losing them in some bullshit way, like the rest of his family.
Speaking of Cyberpunk 2077 - what are the available backgrounds for the character? I hope your V is not too defined in this aspect.
I want to play a corporate samurai Syndicate style and so far the game focuses on V as freelancer gangsta punk.
All the backgrounds will came to being a free lancer moron. BUT you can work with corporation/police, just can't to join them long term.
Holy shit based
You have no datacaps at all in Poland, major cities have cable TV/Internet bundled together from local providers or country wide companies like Orange or Netia competing for fiber optic options also with 50 TV programs bundled. On top of that you have mobile internet providers that will give you 50GB for 10$ a month or something like 1000GB for 20$ a month. I think it's pretty ok for 3rd world as everyone portrays Poland
Diogenes just went barrel rolling through life BTFOing people didn't he
he looks like dr.house in second pic
100mbps is worst option they offer here. Slav Pride World Wide.
>Keanu spent 15 days recording
How much time did he spend making sex noises?
A lot I hope
I guess those were just different takes on "whoa".
I only played 2 and 3 but in my opinion the gameplay was clunky and the world was boring as shit, but maybe the poles will manage to deliver their first good game with cyberpunk.
How fucking extra would it be if they asked him to roleplay as Ted?
Fetuses aren't human who gives a fuck.
ASZ is Polish The Onion
Fake as fuck but I wish it was true.
Based Silverhand
Probably not, he seemed pretty clueless on stage.
What I want to know is how good/bad he is doing his voiceover, Keanu is a very limited actor and and as long as he doesn’t venture too far from his cold emotionless Neo/Klaathu/Wick role he should be ok.
He's paying the blood price to deliver us kino. God bless this man.
>The Jakarta Post
idk why the thought of Keanu Reeves opening up to an indonesian newspaper made me laugh so hard
>snoyniggers are still shitposting it
>Don't marry until 30
>Can only select from the "Left over" women that beef sandwiched themselves with all the other chads in your college/highschool
>4ever the cucked loser.
Hard hitting truth
Have a well earned {you}
Somebody needs to save a folder with all of these pastas
Will be easier for Warwick’s lawyers to fulfill his impossibly ludicrous request of suing a free speech website lmao
He turned british
fucking kek
Most modern wahmen are trash desu
Haven’t been in a single relationship where some kind of cheating didn’t happen; same with friends
I blame feminism, reddit and Twitter
Unironically this. Keanu walked on stage and everything was okay, but when he began to lazily recite his lines that's when even the normans should have rejected him. He's a fake.
i only care about the story and fictional world. fuck off with all this gay shit
omg you're the funniest man alive, how did you come up with this post and when were you first diagnosed as being 'funny'?
>credits
THEY'RE EURO BUCKS YOU FUCKING NORMIE
fucking kek, it never gets old
Have you done anything to better mankind? Being based does not come from what the world does to you, but what you do to the world.
And he is a futachad. A inspiring model to every men.
>>V doesnt need to not be 2077 Geralt
what
The recent demo apparently had corporate, nomad and street kid as backgrounds
muh dick
He aged 50 years in 10 years
>Play female V (with cyberpenis)
>Take a shower
>Keanu appears
>starts laughing at you
I live under a rock, who is this about? LIke the only midget I know of is Mini-me
>i am le edgy ledditor pay attention to me
just call your dad and work out your bullshit with him already
>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me", he once deleted some important files that way
Was it the files containing the rpg elements of the game?
midge fucking shit
If youre doing alright for yourself at 30 the options only open up. Ive gotten way more 21 y/o tail at 30 than I did at 21.
>he's never fucked while driving a bus
oh you
another pointless thread about idiots being mad and spouting memes
fuck off stop trolling and have sex
based
what has mr Reeves doing besides starring in the Matrix?
Are there ANY instances of Keanu being an asshole?
yeah, poor rich and famous actor
He is an avid supporter of israel
he started a company that soups up cheapshit motorcycles with custom bodywork and sells for $30k a pop
i honestly wish people like him were shot and killed
I spy a negro
based,
polish fucks are taking too long
>wait a minute, Polish people have enough of a sense of humor to have a little satire news site?
When you live in a shithole, you need comedy
Donates most of his money to charity / keeping his sister alive.
Started a motorcycle company, been part of a band, been part of some of the greatest action films, changed the genre with John Wick by putting in the effort and applying his skill.
Spent a few hours narrating an on-board bus after a flight he and other passengers were on had to stop prematurely, keeping the guests company before walking off after they'd arrived at their destination.
Refused to change his name when his agent thought nobody would hire someone named Keanu Reeves.
That's just at the top of my head.
haha fuck no
>archive.fo
>Unable to connect
What kind of a wuss are you? Keanu is popular for meme reasons.
>does not age meme
>woah meme
>matrix memes
>john wick memes
>sad keanu memes
>all those humble philanthropy stuff he does
It is easy to love Keanu, that's why he has lots of fans from all over the internet. You're just gonna have to accept that.
In 1991 during the filming for ‘Point Break’ Reeves (Who’s role involved playing a rookie FBI agent ‘Johnny Utah’) was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help. Reeves held out an arm infront of them, stopping them, and was reported saying by Lori petty (Who plays Tyler Endicott). “The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life”. And proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the childs house, Making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their childs sacrifice to the great ocean.
reddit is a real place and it is very reddit
>normal people
Oh cool Keanu reeves. Definitely fits the john wick persona
>soifuccbois from reddit
LOLOLOL LOOK HOW HYPOCRITICAL Yea Forums IS! ARE YOU SEETHING YET? HAHA YOU'RE SEETHING!! IM GONNA POST A WOJAK. HAHA SEETH MORE
have sex.
It's a meme site, you can translate the other articles and see it's Onion type satire
How did they let a homeless philosopher just walk around BTFOing everyone's pretentions?
A pretty good deal for them to snatch Keanu. Imagine if they also had the Gooseman.
I'll take things that never happened for 400.
have the same prob
turns out something has hicjacked my DNS servers attribution: i cant set them back
workaround so far is using my vpn that has a feature to setup its own dns servers
>when someone leaves the computer he sits on that place, launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me".
BASED
I still don't get it and cupness and emptiness. I am a brainlet.
Fucking dabbed on by a homeless, what a based man
Its mostly that he just seems to be a humble regular dude who managed to make the big time.
His lonelyposting really drives it home imo. Ive thought about it. Being instantly recognizable, and everyone knows you're filthy rich. Being able to have genuine human interactions and connections is pretty much gone. You can never know for sure who just wants to be a bro and who wants to use you for your assets.
Its actually one of the things I mega respect and could never handle. My personal "famous role model" is Jack Johnson. Got his money, bought a moderately sized house on a beach so he can surf, and does short tours every now and then (mostly for the fans) because he doesnt want to be away from his family.
>grew up without a father, lost his best friend, s/o, and child
but yeah, money and fame totally makes up for that. Even with all the attention he gets he still stays humble and genuine and thats why people like him so much
>Refused to change his name when his agent thought nobody would hire someone named Keanu Reeves.
based
he....drives
OMG ITS REACTION FROM MEME I CONSUME !!! I LOVE 4CHANNEL CULTURE !!!
>launches CP2077 demo and says "that's a game about me"
He's right though. Mods NEV ER enforce the avatarfaggot rules.
Seek help.
>Aristotle defines man as a featherless biped; Diogenes storms in holding a plucked chicken and shouts "BEHOLD! A MAN!"
>Would walk around with a lantern, when asked why he'd respond "I'm looking for an honest man" then hold the lantern up to the enquirer and shake his head.
>Alexander the Great once approached him while he was looking through a pile of bones; told him "I am searching for the bones of your father, but I cannot tell them from those of a slave."
HOLY BASED
Jesus Christ, Do you think he hangs out with raimi?
>m-midge
>CRACK, BOOM
Yeah, that's what I thought
Fuck off Yea Forums, you don't get to say shit about "le actor from media" with the amount of cum you swallow
Imagine how hard it must be for him to find love. Like as ugly as you fellas might be, you have a chance of finding someone else ugly, or just someone who's kind enough to accept you anyway. It's slim but it's there. But imagine being Keanu. You're a movie star and EVERYONE knows you. There are legions of women who want you, but that's only because of an idolized view of you from movies rather than the person you are. Hell, even if he ever found someone who truly loved him for who he is rather than what he's done, he could never be sure. There would always be that doubt that she just loves him for his status.
Do you have the rest of this?
>filled with vague diogenes references
>the film also implies that Keanu is the god Pan
it would be kino
>Pass user since 2013
This is the hardest I've laughed this week, please seek medical help
greg was a good meme like 3 years ago
I wonder if that's still the case
How many of you niggas preordered just because of keanu?
why the fuck did they not show gameplay? what was the excuse?
they've already shown gameplay
youtube.com
almost an hour's worth
Plato is saying that all things are conceptual, that they start as ideas before they are things. Diogenes takes issue with that, Plato calls him dumb, then Diogenes calls Plato empty headed.
Imagine falling for this marketing
Imagine being a tripfag
This is old as hell idiot
guarantee you things will change since this vid.
