Elden ring

What a strange time to see a Dr.Mcninja reference

>Based brap writer

The thing is whenever I'm hit with diarrhea, after the initial shit, I do not drink any water at all for some hours.
This prevents me needing to do a follow up shit since no water means nothing to shit and it has always worked for me

The game is to take on projects of various scopes, work on the lesser ones and when you get a really good concept/passage you save it for your own bigger, more important projects. Source: smut writer.

Fuck Books

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What is it about fat people that they never finish what they've started?

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>still plagiarising lord of the rings in a completely new project

I just shit acid instead, it hurts

being obese changes the chemistry in your brain and makes you a worse person, unironically

They are lazy.

So I realized something
This is going to draw in the entire game of thrones fanbase isn't it?

Words of wisdom

It's just a meme complaint. I assume people are posting it ironically, if not they're retarded.

Winds is coming out next year

looks pretty cringe.

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No.
It'll draw in the crossover section of people potentially interested in Souls type games and interested enough in ASOIAF to care about the author (mostly the book readers, plus some more dedicated show watchers).
I doubt many of the millions who got caught up in the popularity of the TV show are going to notice or care.

>Implying he put more than an hour long conference calls worth of input into Elden Ring

His name is clearly just a marketing tactic he has nothing to do with the game.

>Surpassed Tolkien in literature
>Surpassed Tolkien in live action adaptation
>and now surpasses Tolkien in video games

How fucking based is GRRM?

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>how do you like your dark souls game?
>just final fantasy my shit up senpai

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>yfw this is why the book has been delayed

INTERVIEW IS UP

news.xbox.com/en-us/2019/06/09/hidetaka-miyazaki-and-george-rr-martin-present-elden-ring/

HAHA, HE'LL NEVER FINISH THE BOOKS, AND THE SHOW ENDING WILL BE OFFICIAL CANON.

BOOK READERS BTFO

He looks like he's gonna die of fat before he finishes his book. At least Tolkien finished his main series.

he will never finish the fucking book mostly because of tv series

Wrong. news.xbox.com/en-us/2019/06/09/hidetaka-miyazaki-and-george-rr-martin-present-elden-ring/

I doubt he's contributing much more than his name. At least I hope that's the case. This fat bastard is a hack.

>tfw this is why the show turned to shit

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Have doctor's appointment[\spoiler]

it's been so long that i already forgot 50% of what happened in the books

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i dont know why people are complaining about this things hair when this goofy motherfucker exists and nobody complained.

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The whole design is shit. Ugly ass red hair, spiky helmet. Looks like something from a world of warcraft trailer.

Reading ASoIaF is like watching Superhero movies or playing Battle Royale games.

It's for the lower end of the spectrum of a given hobby. It's for plebeians.

youtu.be/lle4t4o8EDk?t=68

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>Martin in charge of lore

WE TAX POLICY NOW MUHFUGGAS

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But all the talking head media kikes told me it was deep realistic and mature.

It's bad writing.

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How about this?

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I think it should be even more descriptive. As someone who suffered through ulcerative colitis, you're shitting 24/7 to the point where you develop ulcers from the constant liquid and acid pouring out that it feels like knives being jabbed into your asshole every time you shit.

While I agree that he's a shitty writer, why do Yea Forumsards always jack off over Gatsby?
Jesus christ have you ever read something after you finished school?

Does this happen in book 5, I’m still on book 4

Step aside Martin. My boy Sandy is the king of the genre now. Perhaps you'll be remembered as that filler author between Tolkien and Sandy.

>The sight of their arousal was arousing.
Please, tell me that's not actually a line he put in his books and this picture is all fabricated.

Oh boy I'm sure looking forward to seeing this passage get posted for the next two years.

I think its bad because he uses the comparative form -er; ie. looser, fouler, thirstier.
I get that its a descriptive form but it could be written more concretely. Because when I read it I feel like I myself with my high school level English textbook could outdo him. And that's bad. There are many authors who write English in a form where I can think to myself, I can't match the author, and therefore the author's mastery of the language is superior to me and their work has more worth.

It looks like a pretty standard depiction of an Oni, and wearing masks/helmets made to look like Oni is something samurai did in real life. It's an exaggerated fantasy version of that, nothing to do with Warcraft, you uncultured plebs.

fpbp

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Depictions of oni vary widely but usually portray them as hideous, gigantic ogre-like creatures with a single horn or multiple horns emerging from their heads,[2] with sharp claws and wild hair.[3]

elaborate, then, what is high class? also, how are those mensa applications coming along?

>look at me i read books!!

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go read some actual medieval literature
stuff like Morte D'Arthur easily surpasses Martin at his own game and it was written 500 years ago

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finish the damn book or die already you fat piece of shit i hope you do fucking die

>implying anyone reads aSoIaF for the prose
you don't need good prose to be a good writer. The things you read GRRM for re characters, intrigue, and worldbuilding.

It's like where people shit on Stephen King for having the teenager sewer orgy in It.

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>mfw saying you read books is now some outlandish remark
fucking end this world

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never ever

His smile and optimism, gone.

"Men call me Darkstar , and i am of the night." is kino tho

fuck off back to plebbit

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nice try but even people who like Rand know she was a trash writer.

Name 1 (one) good book by Stephen King. Pro tip: You can't.

Literally /ourguy/

What was Gwyn's tax policy?

On Writing

not joking, it's his only good book

Mine own nuncle, who is now a man grown went to half a hundred towns to find out where whores go. He wanted to learn much and more and for half a heartbeat he thought he figured it out, but the lying serving wench turned out to be as useless as nipples on a breastplate. "Have you taken leave of your wits?" he asked her when she told some fool's story. The Others take you, he cursed her. It was just a mummer's farce and words are wind he thought, most like she just wanted half a groat, little and less, but enough to break her fast.

hbo already finished the books

youtube.com/watch?v=QmKhGqWcJGY

That game looks like generic shit
i wonder if it will have scat scenes

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>J.R.R Tolkien
>Lord of The Rings
>Miyazaki
>Dark Ring (Souls)
>George R.R. Martin
>RR
????
and you still believe in god?

He's gonna hide Winds of Winter in the item descriptions of this From Soft game.

Why is he always dressed like a fisherman on a wharf?

Yes, last chapter too

Tolkien and GRRM both fucking suck

He wont finish his books. Hell die of some cardiovascular related issue before that happens. Nope, he just gets to write his 3/10 fanfic into games. Exciting.

>grrm

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HAHA POOP XDXD

This is honestly some of the biggest cringe I've read on Yea Forums and that's saying a lot. I'm not even whiteknighting the chicken mcnugget mascot, but wow, that's some big cringe. Fucking yikers dude

Can someone remind me what was Bran's tax policy?

this old hack loves money
hes literally dying but still takes any chance to make a quick shekel

FUCK THIS HACK!

He was a strong Georgist.

You are a highschooler taking ap lit

As an unapologetic Soulsfag I am looking forward to this and hoping it will be a fun game

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You're right but too many of Martin's fans are rabid and refuse to admit any weaknesses he has, insisting that you hate him when you're enjoying the story for what it is.

Gotta wait till the 7th book im afraid

GRRM is a great first person worldbuilder. Why wouldn't you want him to help out a video game?

You know what he loves even more than money? Not finishing his books.

Lets hope for
>Multiplayer
>Replay value
Because otherwise, why bother?

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Yeah but, that's part of the world building. It's a common saying.

what the fuck
he looks so weird
and how is he similar to kit

based zoomer

is that an actual neckbeard. I don't get it. do they shave everywhere but their neck, do they do it on purpose?

boomers don't read either nowadays, unless they're the actual non-meme definition of boomer

your taste doesn't weigh in this equation motherfucker

"More less than more. There are many sorts of outlaws, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go outside the law to fight some wicked lord, but most outlaws are more like this ravening Hound than they are the lightning lord. They are evil men, driven by greed, soured by malice, despising the gods and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been more than a mile from the house where they were born until the day some lord came round to take them off to war. Poorly shod and poorly clad, they march away beneath his banners, ofttimes with no better arms than a sickle or a sharpened hoe, or a maul they made themselves by lashing a stone to a stick with strips of hide. Brothers march with brothers, sons with fathers, friends with friends. They've heard the songs and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will see, of the wealth and glory they will win. War seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

"Then they get a taste of battle.

"For some, that one taste is enough to break them. Others go on for years, until they lose count of all the battles they have fought in, but even a man who has survived a hundred fights can break in his hundred-and-first. Brothers watch their brothers die, fathers lose their sons, friends see their friends trying to hold their entrails in after they've been gutted by an axe.

"They see the lord who led them there cut down, and some other lord shouts that they are his now. They take a wound, and when that's still half-healed they take another. There is never enough to eat, their shoes fall to pieces from the marching, their clothes are torn and rotting, and half of them are shitting in their breeches from drinking bad water.

"If they want new boots or a warmer cloak or maybe a rusted iron halfhelm, they need to take them from a corpse, and before long they are stealing from the living too, from the smallfolk whose lands they're fighting in, men very like the men they used to be. They slaughter their sheep and steal their chickens, and from there it's just a short step to carrying off their daughters too. And one day they look around and realize all their friends and kin are gone, that they are fighting beside strangers beneath a banner that they hardly recognize. They don't know where they are or how to get back home and the lord they're fighting for does not know their names, yet here he comes, shouting for them to form up, to make a line with their spears and scythes and sharpened hoes, to stand their ground. And the knights come down on them, faceless men clad all in steel, and the iron thunder of their charge seems to fill the world . . .

"And the man breaks.

"He turns and runs, or crawls off afterward over the corpses of the slain, or steals away in the black of night, and he finds someplace to hide. All thought of home is gone by then, and kings and lords and gods mean less to him than a haunch of spoiled meat that will let him live another day, or a skin of bad wine that might drown his fear for a few hours. The broken man lives from day to day, from meal to meal, more beast than man. Lady Brienne is not wrong. In times like these, the traveler must beware of broken men, and fear them . . . but he should pity them as well."

When Meribald was finished a profound silence fell upon their little band. Brienne could hear the wind rustling through a clump of pussywillows, and farther off the faint cry of a loon. She could hear Dog panting softly as he loped along beside the septon and his donkey, tongue lolling from his mouth. The quiet stretched and stretched, until finally she said, "How old were you when they marched you off to war?"

"Why, no older than your boy," Meribald replied. "Too young for such, in truth, but my brothers were all going, and I would not be left behind. Willam said I could be his squire, though Will was no knight, only a potboy armed with a kitchen knife he'd stolen from the inn. He died upon the Stepstones, and never struck a blow. It was fever did for him, and for my brother Robin. Owen died from a mace that split his head apart, and his friend Jon Pox was hanged for rape."

"The War of the Ninepenny Kings?" asked Hyle Hunt.

"So they called it, though I never saw a king, nor earned a penny. It was a war, though. That it was."

He kinda' looks like Kit. They both look like white Mexicans, like Guillermo del Toro.