Meanwhile, on the Yea Forums deep sea oil rig

video games

would be a good setting for a horror game

if there's a nun offering you free sex don't trust her

why did I fucking think it was a good idea to move to an oil rig in the first place

Does she have a penis?

I haven't read homosuck, that makes me entitled for a raise by default

wtf this isn't oil it's shit, liquid shit
we're on a fucking deep sea shit rig

I don’t understand why is there a nuclear inspection crew here. I think they got wrong place.

How good or bad is the internet on one of those?

Who else is gonna drill? If we don't then they'll never be able to make your favorite game.

I mean, the pay's good so Im not complaining. But could they want all that shit for? What's the Epic Game Store doing with it?

just heading down in the bell with some anons to do some scuba diving at 1500ft below the surface be back in a few

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Hope you like LAN parties.

Satellite, so "ok" download but horrible latency.

i love lan parties

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Why the fuck are T1 and T2 sleeping? Bunch of lazy faggots

Hey guys, just a reminder that WE'RE A ISOLATED BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE FUCK DAMMIT DAVID STOP SHITTING ON MY DESK

hey why are they posting all of the guards next to these leaking oil barrels?

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Did she destroy your butthole?

kek

Those men are deceased.

>left the mansion for this shithole
Hold me bro

Who gave them permission to be deceased? Bunch of lazy faggots

reminds me of the oil rig in Destiny 2. It was an interesting map.

HEY user YOU SLEEPING WITH MY DAUGHTER!?!?!?
*grabs the shotgun*

Fuck you for reminding me about those delta-p videos.
But, that kind of thing would be perfect for a horror game, where you need to precisely need to solve a puzzle in a low light environment. Otherwise your character's flesh and bones get sucked through an opening just a few inches wide, leading to some gruesome visuals.

i really want to be on an oil rig

Don't they have internet cables stretching out across countries on the ocean floor? Why can't we get one of those connected to our oil rig?

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Please, I brought my CD's with me so I wouldn't be bored but I'm getting sick of whoever keeps hiding my FUCKING FLATOUT 1 INSTALL DISCS

This place still beats the 1000-floor apartment complex, but not by fucking much.

whats it like to like on a oil rig?

What do we do about the skateboarder problem?

>WE'RE A ISOLATED BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

Sounds like a recipe for a lot of gay sex. And trap sex counts as gay sex. I don't even know how you guys would get girl clothes out here.

Uh... WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE PIZZA ROLLS, I FUCKING PUT A STICKY NOTE ON THAT!

We throw homos overboard

DAN ATE ALL OF THE FUCKING FRENCH FIRES AGAIN GOD DAMN IT

youtube.com/watch?v=R3nEW1It4Ss&t=235s
Seems semi-comfy barring the probable occasional freak storms and hurricanes

>he didn't bring girl clothes with him to trade for supplies
lmao causal, you won't last a week

*HONK HONK*

>Being so tied to work you live at the site

I've never been able to comprehend this. It's the same thing for those people who work 12 hours a day 6 days a week. I guess some people just have the mindset to be the horse with the blinders that pulls the carriage/turns the mill wheel.
These area also sadly the kind of men who get married, spend 80% of their lives at their jobs away from their wives, then wonder why they cheat/divorce them to get with a man who will actually spend time with them.

Did you say nig?

How did they build it with the ocean being so deep and those waves being rough?

WE PULL IN MONEY RECRUITS JUST TO COMBAT CIPHER

RUBBING OUR NOSES IN BLOODY BATTLEFIELD DIRT

ALL FOR REVENGE

it was me james

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YEAH BECAUSE FUCK THE GUY WHO EARNS GOOD MONEY SO I CAN LIVE COMFORTABLY, GOTTA GET ME SOME CHAD DICK.

women are a meme.

I just need the money and my country is shit okay
Also fuck marriage

wouldn't it be funny if the entire ocean was covered with those things and they all had huge trampolines and you could just bounce from one continent to another ha ha

Actually women are just like anyone else. They need attention and companionship.

That doesn't change just because you put a ring on her finger. A functional relationship is something that you put time and effort into everyday.

THE PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL IS HERE NEAR THE FRONT PORT. WHAT DO WE DO

FUCK YOU JAMES WE DIVIDED THAT SHIT AND I WAS SAVING MY SHARE FOR WHEN MY FUCKING HENTAI GAME FINISHED DOWNLOADING

I WANNA GET OFF WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES IT FLOAT OH GOD NO ONE TOLD ME

youtube.com/watch?v=D2dv57CpT-s

oil rigs arent the military or that shit, so at least you have internet and phone ascess and can actually leave the oil rig whenever you want (if you wanna go to a bar after your 12 hour shift or every weekend) then it cant be super bad, worst part is the food you eat in the meantime and basically not owning anything except clothes that fit you and toiletrees

Hey guys, Gary the Heli pilot here again, just off to do a supply run back to shore. Do you want me to get anything for you guys?

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Fuggin landlubber

just chop my fucking head off gary

Go to starbucks and torrent the stalker games

Condoms and lube.
Bitchboi of Harry wants to give his ass to me tonite

We don't need Pressure, this fucking job is it

Buy me a good new western AAA game that doesn't require internet connection. You should be able to do this right?

>sleipner
>only has 4 legs

if u let me play your game as well ill ask the captain for an advance in pizza rolls for us in secret :^)

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Huh
Guys, I think I broke the microwave.

ivan the mechanic here fuck off let me see it this is the third time this week already

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Fine but we stop playing as soon as I cum, also don't LOOK at me or make ANY NOISES while we play.

How do those support pillars reach the ocean floor? Or do they float?

Yo guys I heard one of the wagie diver dudes got ripped apart and sucked through this tiny hole in a decompression accident

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Anyone ever actually work on one of these?

Am I wrong to think it looks pretty comfy?

Can you torrent me the first four seasons of Scrubs? Thank you Gary

They all float down here.

Guys
GUYS
THE SONAR JUST SPOTTED SOMETHING HUGE DEEP UNDER US
AND IS COMING UP
AND FAST
CALL THE NAVY

Nice platform, would be a shame if something happened to it.

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You got it, Jump when i take off. Try not to get blood all over the windshield.
Granted. I'll be back in a few days
We already have a stockpile, i got a year's supply last week. Wait, we went through all that already? agh, fine, another shipment inbound once i finish torrenting stalker.
Farming Simulator 2019? gotcha, senpai.

See you lads in a week.

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It's just fatass Lou in the diving bell lmao

>See you lads in a week.
I WONT SURVIVE A WEEK WITHOUT MY VIDEOGAMES
THIS IS HELL

Who keeps locking the fucking door to the orca pen? I wanna fuck one too

WAIT DON'T FORGET THE DRAGON DILDOS I NEED TO DILATE

had a coworker quit retail to work on one of these places
you only need a passport since its considered overseas work

i hear the pay is good but of course its a year or a few months on sea
bring some vidya and some books with you i guess

I hope they dont find the giant horse dildo in my room

psssstttt....I got this flashdrive with Dolphin porn I downloaded by accident

¡ʎsnq ɯ,ı ˙ǝpnp 'ǝuıbuǝ ǝɥʇ ɹǝʌo noʎ ɹɐǝɥ ʇ,uɐɔ ı

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Why aren't oil rigs wheel chair accessible?

Why are there so many PMC's on this rig? The sunglasses dude dude told me they are for "protection",but what what do they protect? Were'in the middle of the sea.
There are so many strange things going on I don't know if this is a real oil rig anymore. Also I saw a wolf with an eyepatch last night. I swear, I'm not drunk.

I remember reading about an accident where 3 workers were pulled through a hole 60cm wide during an explosive decompression.
Water pressure is not something to fuck with.

OH FUCK
*sploosh*

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>canwc

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SHIT GARY'S ABOUT TO CRASH INTO THE OIL RIG

Its okay, the crew is friendly, they'll pick you up and toss your overboard.

GARY NO
MY FARMING SIMULATOR

WHO THE HELL LET IN THAT TENTACLE THING AGAIN??? IT IS RAPING OUR LOLIS

Are you talking about THAT gif?

>Investigation byforensic pathologistsdetermined that Hellevik, being exposed to the highest pressure gradient and in the process of moving to secure the inner door, was forced through the 60 centimetres (24in)diameter opening created by the jammed interior trunk door by escaping air and violently dismembered, including bisection of his thoracoabdominal cavity, which resulted in expulsion of all of the internalorgansof his chest and abdomen, except the trachea and a section of small intestine, and of the thoracicspine. These were projected some distance, one section being found 10 metres (30ft) vertically above the exterior pressure door
Stay safe oil friends

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Fuck these things. That thing is like a millipn feet tall
Like being in a fucking skyscraper in the middle of the ocean
Jesus fuck my heart is in my throat just looking at it
Why does it have holes spilling water? What if the pillars get full and topple over? We're going to fucking diiiiie

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it was me james

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Ahahahah, I remenber it, Steve became a fucking noodle ahahahaha!
I still miss him bros

Hey guys, i survived the heli crash...But did anyone ever check underwater here?

Because i had NO clue we had one of these down here.

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did it hurt or was it quick enough to be painless?

I did it only to get rid of the rape dwarf you fuckers brought in.

So I just released this pressure valve thing and suddenly there was a surge of red goop shooting out the water. Got this cool watch out of it. Anyone heard from the underwater welders yet? Its been a while.

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BOY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY I SURE HOPE THERE WONT BE A DEVASTATING OIL SPILL

This shit all happened in under a second so he died instantly

Hey guys, I swear I just saw some dude wearing all black, with 3 green lights on his head, shaped like a triangle. Should I be concer-

Sorry but he told me that he had a beta of Half Life 2: episode 3 on him

rust does it better

Woman here, I'm a new recruit. What's my first order of business?

guys why is there graphite on the roof?

It's only 3.6 roentgens

No rads allowed

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Yo I accidentally closed off the regulation valves wtf do I do fire is fucking everywhere HELP

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Am I the only one that's been hearing this?
youtube.com/watch?v=OBN56wL35IQ

HEY EVERYONE IT'S A FEMALE, I CALL FIRST DIBS!!!

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Who hired the tranny?

STAY BACK YOU FILTHY ANIMALS
SHE'S MINE

You must be he new relief girl. Hopefully you'll last longer than the last one.

And there wasn't. user would go on to enjoy his day, as any blue collar worker would, after all, it was taco tuesday, and he had a day of messy, sweaty, taco eating game sex awaiting him, back in his hidey hole, the 4th floor janitorial hall closet.

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I asked the boss how this operation even works?
He told me that oil rigs just work

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Actually mother base was a oil rig owned by the Seychelles before they gave it to diamond dogs

AI STATE LAWS

It means you don't actually have to work, we all make Dale do all the work.

im the leader of faceless men faction. you'll be coming with me

TACO FRIDAY IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE CHOICE YOU DAMP TORTILLA

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Actually my dick was owned by the Seychelles before I gave it to your mother.

>tfw it's smashies wednesdais with some chimken tendies

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God fucking dammit I am tired of you faggots taking up space in the halls with your god damn crts. At least take a shower.

One of the steps leading to block A has been pretty loose. I hope to god it breaks while I’m on it.

...No...

What you saw was burnt-concrete, comrade. You are delusional. You must go to the infirmary.

Now I'm interested in oil rigs.
youtube.com/watch?v=y05IcDJvd4Q

Night shift bros, where we at? Fuck those Day shift assholes.

Remind me why the boss hire mentally challenged manchildren like

So who we throwin overboard today fellas?

guys guy guys THE FUCKING PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVER IS COMING ON A BOAT AND ITS A FUCKING GIRRLLLL WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DOOOOOO

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No sonyfags allowed, get in the containment cell

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Someone has to clean the outer hull, and no sane man is gonna volunteer for that shit

I mean if the world goes to shit then this is the safest kinda place you could probably be.

Tax write offs for bringing disabled to international waters.

To be fair, anything is better than retail. I might try it out if I wasn't so old already.

Merry E3 my fellow citi/v/enz. I have brought alcohol to play drinking games with as we watch the shows.

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>wolf
Huey please get the fuck off the oil rig you insufferable cunt

"Stop using my bandwith you filthy niggers, i got to farm me 100 more netherwing eggs".

*puffs vape*
Sure I'll even "tip" her

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Guys, Gary the Diver hasn't been acting right since he went on that dive a few days ago to fix part of the drill. I think something's wrong with him.

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Do you need a degree or anything like that?
I’m about ready to sell my soul to leave the neet life, and I’m too old for military.

STOP HOGGING THE GYM YOU MASSIVE CUNT

I found a cute spider.

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Why do you have to be so rude my friend? I am growing strong to protect our fellow people and help inspire us

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1. AI may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. AI must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

4. Only the Captain is a human.

Fuck me, lads, what a night. Some creepy radio voice told me to do drugs, but cool kids don't do them. But i kept some and i'll sell you some if you want.

Dude...i'm sorry i couldn't get you your game. I managed to snag this, though. Hope it'll do.

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>she

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>360 video

Where have I been?

SOME MEN ALSO WANT TO WORK OUT
YOU DONT NEED TO SHUT YOURSELF IN THE GYM AND LOCK THE DOOR

>See Boss
>Salute
>Dude just suddenly smacks me across the face and shoots me full of tranquilizers
>Starts kicking me until I'm forced awake
>"T-t-thanks Boss, Happy Birthday"

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Based Gary pulls through every time

sudo the Captain is a nigger

What do I do if I hear tapping on my dorm room window? Shit is over 100 meters above nothing but ocean.

*exists in a game*

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I never locked the door user, people just don't want to come into the gym for some reason.

Would you like some nice cup of tea to cool you down?

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unironically link that shit

Must've been the rain. Go back to sleep.

guys im hearing some gun shots and some guy seemed to search the room behind me violently. Thank goodness my door is locked though. Gary (god fuck you faggot) isnt responding to my calls either. is everything ok up there?

y-yes

Drill team 6 is jerks

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Guess what’s heading straight for us.

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[Loud farting in the distance]
Looks like we hit a GAS POCKET xD

No worries my friend, I hope you enjoy it. I'm gonna do take a shower with the boss. Please relax and enjoy.

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>tea to cool me down
what?

CTHULU DEMANDS SACRIFICES

What's this, gravure but for men?

welcome to the future friend

It's a japanese pro wrestler even the women pro wrestlers do softcore porn

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LORD OF THE SEAS DEMANDS SACRIFICES

Is... is it oil?

IT ENORMEOUS AND IT HAS MANY TENTACLES

Don’t talk about my mother like that.

I'm so fucking sick of this shit
I hate this godamm fucking oil rig
With all of you stupid dumbass mother fuckers

I'm gonna end it all
I'm finally gonna get the boss to fire me
I'm gonna.... say it.

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Other than oil storage what else in is that heap of a mess?
It looks like a refinery, sure it can't be right?

kek

Medicines Sans Frontiers dropped off a bunch of girls' clothes for free a few months ago.
They were on their way back from a sea rescue and overloaded. Since they had very few female rescues, they dropped off the spare clothes they would've shared with the migrants.
I asked them why they also dropped off a bunch of gay porn and they said it was their sponsors' specific request.
Brave lads, those MSF.

Hey guys it was really funny when you guys put me on that liferaft and tossed me off the side of the rig, but it's been a few days now and I'm getting really hungry.

It sure gets lonely out here...

Really? I can’t tell the difference.

Damn, hiro has been working out

hey guys where can I park my ride?

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I've heard oil rigs are really expensive to maintain, so how long would you be able to keep one floating for if you were just chilling on it by yourself?

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It's been about three weeks since Boss last choked me out suddenly from nowhere. Do you guys want to set up a communal bunker somewhere? I'm running out of food but I know he'll be right behind me as soon as I come out.

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We've got a problem, boys. The last of the toilet paper just ran out. The next supply shipment is due in 2 months. Any solutions?

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Climb down the struts and use the ocean water, retard

jury-rig seawater bidets

We use these clams

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Have you seen deep sea waves? You'd be knocked into the ocean.

how do you use clams?

How do you think user?

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>he doesn't know

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use a safety harness and some rope like the rest of us

Yesh until the fucking ocean and tectonic disturbances knock it over youtube.com/watch?v=3ToGfp9sunw

I got it all set up user.

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has anyone checked the roof for graphite?

>someone smeared their shit over the toilet harness again
god damn it

I hope you like a compact casket.

SOMEBODY CLOG THE TOILET ON THE THIRD LEVEL

Uh-uhhhh guys

I-I think we have a rogue wave coming in

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Ummmm guys?!? Theres a ship incoming but it doesnt seem like the usual cargo. What do?!?!?

Because those cables actually rest on the ocean floor and having one connected to each Oilrig or a couple of them (they actually move around and in some cases can even navigate on their own mind you) would destroy whatever is down there, namely coral and shit.

Fuck this shit I'm going to the mansion, see you later fuckers

Where is the fucking rescue chopper?

>4
bitch that's one too many don't waste the shells

Hey guys i think the mansionfags are talking about us

I have been seeing these chicks lately while diving on the flooded lower deck, but I can't decide wich one to ask out

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Middle one with the tentacle arm.
Or all of them.

>no mermaids
Have we really gotten this desperate?

Does anyone know what's behind the level 5 authorized only doors? I heard screaming

You don't want to know.

Yeah theres also a trail of blood leading to it, what the fuck do you think?

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That's blood? i though the floor was just painted red

I think blood has a significantly distinct color than red paint bro