Gods, I hate gauls

Yea, I hate the french too

units didn't have 9999 HP so fights were faster and strategy mattered. Archers were more than a morale tool and cavalry had weight and speed behind it.

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Veni, vidi, vici

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Pretty much this. They had that early 2000's voice acting, guys with no formal training but who were really into it, units were fun, the baseline system was easy to understand, units felt much different in their roles (try 3K right now, killing with archers feels the same as killing with cavalry) and there was actual unit variation/you felt like you were playing different factions.

The engine, much better unit collision, and the old graphics meant if the devs wanted the battlefield to not turn into an unrecognizeable mess of polygons they had to make each unit as visually distinct as possible for visual clarity while making them uniwue looking enough for the player to recognize who they were and who they weren't.

With modern graphics and shitty unit collision modern Total War games have turned into generic humans vs other generic humans washed out in brown environments as they blob in a big ass moshpit of fuck that you cannot distinguish anything from at a glance without the UI highlighting it for you.

*blocks your path*

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based

The Greeks could rule the world.

All of Rome will be amazed at such a victory! The day is ours!

you can't just post this without pasta sauce

>AND REMEMBER THIS ABOVE ALL, OUR ROMAN GODS ARE WATCHING. MAKE SURE THEY ARE NOT ASHAMED!
unironically inspired me every time

Alexandre did

>wearing your pajamas into a fucking warzone
What were they thinking?

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*throws pila before charging*

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*bulldozes your formation*

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best faction. Powerful and scary as fuck. At the same time classy with a flair.

weeni weedi weechi

Some things never change.

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GAULED(.com)

>YOU KNOW ME, I AM A TRUE ROMAN OF THE OLD STYLE. I BELIEVE IN DISCIPLINE, DIGNITY AND DUTY. I BELIEVE THAT ROME HAS A DESTINY TO RULE THE WORLD
why were the pre-battle speeches so kino in this game?

They are super comfy

And why are they not included in the newer games. Shogun 2 still had them and it was great.

TRIARII
R
I
A
R
I
I

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More of a gracchus man myself

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Medieval II speeches were kino too, especially if your general had the foul-mouthed trait
>GOAT FONDLING ARSE MONKEYS

series died after shogun 2 for me

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Caesar is a war criminal, and all the good thing he did for rome don't change that.

your mom is war criminal

Amazing how many things the speeches took into consideration. Stuff like character traits, army size, which enemy and terrain.

But muh attila is good.
Rome 2 is in a good state too.

Is there any way to get this game to not slow to a crawl in larger battles on modern hardware? quick google search told me I'm just fucked

>I want to see blood! I want to BATHE in their blood! I want to bathe in their blood for a week! Now, KILL THEM ALL!
Were /bloody/ generals kino?

>gods
cringe

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Stop projecting your own self loathing on others, R*man.

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The problem with TW games, from Rome 1 onwards, was they're a total slogfest after mid-game.

And fuck whoever came up with Realm Divide and Imperium levels. At least they could have made it optional for those of us who just want to fight battles and paint the map instead of dealing with tedious politics and micromanaging every tiny little thing.

Fucking gauls

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how is the new chineese game

Too right, I didn't even enjoy shogun 2 that much and have found them basicly unplayable from rome 2 and beyond. I'll still happily play Europa barbarorum on RTW though.

>We wuz the new jewz an shiet!

julii had the worst temples though, also gaul is poor af

I agree Realm Divide is fucking stupid and should have been optional. It throws all diplomacy away

I came in here looking for the spartacus refs

Attila!

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but they had the best faction colors

Your will, my hands

Fights go faster than ever now tho’

Rome 2 was the game that taught me not to preorder a game ever again
It was supposed to be the perfect game
They've removed that feature since then but I still remember one of my first battles on the launch day where I discovered you could win field battles with no casualties by capturing capture points located in random places

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user kisses cheeks then proceeds to finger ass

a couple neat campaign mechanics and ackshually interesting siege battles, but other than that pretty garbage.

pretty much this, good post

Nigger what?

Every TW game after Rome 1 have been broken in way or another.
Look at Medieval 2, half the units in the game either don't work properly, overpriced and/or are completely useless i.e Gothic Knights.

Also if you were attacking or defending.

Gaul ... home ...
why can't I stop playing this shit game?

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Kingdoms was the game M2 should have been
I still maintain that M1 has the best battles in the series, partly because the AI is smart enough to play with the risk campaign map and partly because the battles could not be all 3D and visceral so the actual unit tactics and rock-paper-scissors had to be spot on. Shame it's even more unhistorical than the sequel

Atilla isn't the same, don't really like the changes.
Also
>women in frankish warrior units
Fuck this unhistorical shit, my ancestors didn't let their women fight like cowards ffs.

>he doesn't like darlings in his Franks

The diplomacy has always been iffy, but now the AI is pathologically HATES the player in the newer games. It's so petty and spiteful.

>Historical accuracyfags complaining about historical inaccuracies in an alternate history game

>play FOTS as an imperial clan
>all my allied imperial neighbors switch sides and declare war on me in the first 15 turns

I'm very autistic with historical games and get really annoyed if I notice something that isn't right.
It's different when they aren't going for realism though, then I don't give a shit.

>tfw can't tell who's winning a battle anymore by just looking at it like you could in the older games
>tfw user is absolutely right

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I consider the simplicity of Medieval 1 makes it one of the best TW games. I would recommend it to anyone who wants a TW game without all the bullshit.

why did you buy it in the first place?
the mapgraphics is the only good thing

MY NIGGA
honestly MTW 1 + XL mod has always been the height of total war to me. Shit was tight.

How old are you? TW games have ALWAYs been fantasy.

Yer just jealous, we get to roll about the bog with the lads.

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war crimes don't exist

>you need a centurion gf IRL

Isn’t there a mod with these?

>Start playing at 4pm.
>Finish at 7am.

Damn right it was tight.

>And remember, they may have the moon People on their side, but we have lovely hats! Those hats will shield us from their fearsome gaze!
What did he mean by this?

They are in the shit tier paesants units.
And it's not like celtic womens didn't fight when it was necessary.
Hell the de bello gallico has a passage about that

three kingdoms is good

Short story; different teams

That chad Rhodian slingers vs the virgin Cretan Archers

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what was your favorite faction? It's been years but I remember with XL mods addition of all those new races, Byzantinse in the high (middle starting point, without constantinople) was just the greatest fucking clusterfuck. Armenians, turks, crusaders, bulgarians, serbians and normans/sicily all around you. Best fucking times.

Wait a sec, what the fuck is Garibaldi doing there?

Fotosketcher and Total War are a great mix.

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>disembark from fleet
>attack enemy unit close to sea
>in battle, enemy has its back towards the sea and I can see my fleet at sea
I love you Rome Total War

I bought tw empire on release and still feel that I have been robbed.

I love Velites-chan!

It was bad enough with just the state of the game but having to install that piece of shit Steam for it was another kick in the balls

That's like asking a parent which child is their favourite.

Rome 1 was shit. Last good TW game was Medieval.

It is. It’s a cut above all the recent TW games just by the fact that it’s playable on release.

Has the bar really been set that low?

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well, most parent do have a favorite child

Get out of there Publius! ITS A TRAP

nononononono

very much so, yes

When barbarians without ethics or a sense of morality are in charge then sure.

VARUS!

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To be fair Americans schools barely cover world history so this as much education about the subject as most of them are going to get.

MED BVLLS ASSEMBLE

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Indeed it has. It’s honestly surprising how one step forward, two steps back this series is sometimes.

Post more

9 CE best year of my life.

Fine. As of late, i've got a bit of a soft spot for the Holy Roman Empire.
And I like to listen to "Paint it Black" while playing as them.

>I see Europe and I want it painted black.
>No colours anymore, I want them to turn black.

>"You remembered to bring your friends, ja?"

units collided with each other and didnt run through each other. units wouldnt engage in gimmiky 1v1 fights, multiple soliders would fuck up one guy at the same time.

>CE

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Name a worse unit

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For me, best years were 14, 15 and 16 A.D.

>My caligae hurt
>The tribune is too loud
>I want to go home

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Why is the Pope in Medieval 2 obsessed with Cairo? Why is he ALWAYS launching a Crusade there?

Those are Male pigs, so it's 100,000,000% historically accurate.

For me it was always Tunis. Never Jerusalem or Acre.

jupiters cock, have you lost fucking mind?

They scare elephants. The real worse unit is the fucking Roman ninjas.

Oh yeah, "Arcani"! I need to start a custom battle and try them out, I haven't used them in about 15 years

>her
imagine the faggot who made this

Pope is a fucking moron.

>Catholic faction declares war on me.
>Defend myself.
>Get excommunicated.

What a cunt.

Rome plays on the same engine that Medieval 2 uses?

I was about to say Arcanii but I didn't want some total war boomer to crawl out of the grass and "um actually!" at me.

I just want Med 2 with prettier graphics, change nothing but the visuals. Whatever happened to the Attilla mod to make it set in the 1300s?

but why though

>GERMAND.COM

I want to tell Hastati-chan I believe in her.

All the Italians in Med 2 are a plague that needs to be extinguished.

I did a custom battle of Arcani vs Flaming Pigs. The pigs did not acquit themselves well.

Arcani are honestly better than I remember them being, for the simple reason that they have 2HP. They'd be no use against a human opponent, but since they can stealth anywhere I imagine they'd be a pretty effective and powerful screening force hidden in front of the main battle line vs the AI.

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>those faction only crossbows for Genoa
Nice army, would be a shame if a peasant army with some of the strongest ranged weapons in the game declared war, every game.

What a chad.

How long have you been hanging onto that image in case it turned out to be relevant one day?

>CE
Cuck

Venice is play by a Khornate AI. They're ALWAYS at war all the time and they are ALWAYS the aggressor.

These romans are crazy.

indeed.
TW1=Shogun and Medieval
TW2=Rome and Medieval 2
TW3 aka "Warscape"=Everything from Empire onwards

Lazy shitters haven't updated their creaking and dying engine for ten fucking years

The Moors? Those Peasant Crossbows are lethal for their price.

Milan is even worse, they lull you into a false sense of security with tricksy alliances and then they STRIKE!

Sicily are the only bro-tier faction in M2, probably because they're N*rmans

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Gives Byzantine a reason to expand at least, I like fighting italian armies because they deploy so many fucking units, goddamn.

deviantart.com/flick-the-thief

>not wanting to die in the most comf attire possible

t. gallic ginger knob

Theyre good too, especially where they are on the map fighting Spanish who have shitty shields, I was talking about genoese crossbowmen, the ones with pavise shields

>Deploy them infront of your army
>enemy archers attack
>pavise shield blocks everything whilest machine gunning everything with some of the longest ranged crossbows available
>they count as a miltia army and can be recruited in towns quickly

All those years with that engine and they still release games half broken.
Much like Bethesda, actually.

>tfw R1 runs like shit on Windows 10

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Me-fucking-too. Imagine a world where the French never existed.

>a comfy TW thread
>on Yea Forums

Thanks boys, this has been so much better than /twg/. The influx of 17 year old warhammerzoomers and XINJIANG UYGHUR AUTONOMOUS REGIONs that it's tough to have a decent conversation any more.

still not as bad as the Total War Centre circa 2007-10, that was the worst time of my internet life. If any of you are out there reading this, I STILL hate you.

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Med 2 chugs a bit when there are large armies too, If anything needs a remaster its the older TW games.

What part of this is wrong
Julius was a hero, he's my role model

Problem is, though, that they always attack you before you've managed to reclaim Anatolia.

Worked fine for me the other month

Yeah, there's a definite correlation between sticking "with an engine for far too long with only minor modifications" and "general incompetence and shoddy design".

Could they beat a bunch of women armed with meat cleavers though?

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Have sex
>t.Antiochus IV

And they're available in early in the game as well.

Try to ally with them as early as possible, they WILL break it because you are one of their enemies, but this will also mean the rest of the world distrusts them because they broke a treaty, ally with Hungary and other Orthodox faiths so people do try to dunk on you for having a small nation with undefended borders. ive been doing this for fucking years, please help me quit

>With modern graphics and shitty unit collision modern Total War games have turned into generic humans vs other generic humans washed out in brown environments as they blob in a big ass moshpit of fuck that you cannot distinguish anything from at a glance without the UI highlighting it for you.
Fucking this
CA absolutely refuses to commit to pursuing either a simulationist realistic style or a more arcadey style with color-coded armies and ahistorical units like Rome:TW
The simple campaign mechanics that have hardly changed since Rome 1 are another example of them maintaining an awkward middle ground between grand strategy and simple computer board game with tactical battles
I don't know if they can keep doing it forever

>war criminal
For what faggot? Beating people in fair combat?

ROMANES EUNT DOMUS

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People called Romanes they go the house?

Ya'll gonna be mad at me but I've been playing this series since Medieval 1 and Three Chinks is a good.

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maybe he's referring to that time during his triumphs when GJC put the two captive armies to fight each other to the death, including horses and elephants? Or the Alesia debacle, but honestly that was Vercingetorix's fault.

I wouldn't mind them sticking with an engine as long as they're good with it.
I can't understand how they can use the same engine for so long and yet still can't at least make a half polished product with it.

Since I enjoyed Medieval 2 I think I’ll give Rome a try. Also, that means Shogun 2 is Warscape too?

he was the hero of two worlds for a reason

Why would either of those two facts cause botty-botherment? I think the overwhelming consensus is that Three Chinkies has great campaign mechanics and "soul" but rather by-the-numbers battles.

The campaign is good. The battles are shallow and too fast.

Yes, but it's probably the best of the bunch (certainly my favourite). It's got a lot of soul and is one of the few games in the series to still have the gratuitous-but-nice features like general speeches and agent movies. Personally I'd recommend it, alone among the Warscape games.

Definitely get Rome though, and consider downloading Roma Surrectum III (a total overhaul mod) if you find the game much too dated.

I wish Medieval II's diplomacy wasn't broken. I'm tired of fighting medieval world wars for no reason.

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I started with Rome and I agree. It’s, at least, a step or two in the right direction.

Yes, but it is still worth a try (Fall of the Samurai expansion is a must)

>The campaign is good. The battles are shallow and too fast

You're not kidding, even in "records" mode (lyl) they are over in seconds.

Venice is a psychotic in my all playthroughs, i'd be lucky if an alliance would only buy an extra turn before they attack me.

I felt the same way, try playing the Kingdoms campaigns if you haven't already. They fix that sense of ludicrous pan-global scale that doesn't fit the medieval setting by being regional.

This but unironically.

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>Roma Surrectum III
Do the battles still last upwards of an hour like II?

One thing they ditched that I love is all the mini duels between units in Shogun 2. I thought it had something to do with the engine but it seems it isn’t.
Thanks for the tip, I’ll try it vainilla first and I’ll give that mod a try later.

Tell him to stick with Med 2 instead. Giving him the amazing 3K diplomacy is only going to get him sad when he realises his favorite game will never have it.

>Do the battles still last upwards of an hour like II
It's honestly very much like II but with improvements, if you hated II then don't both with III. Some people swear by RTR, but I haven't played since 7 and I honestly have no idea how that's progressing. I also used to love Res Gestae and SPQRTW back in the day, but I very much doubt they're still being updated.

Sicily is a pain in the arse if you're playing the Moors or Egypt. They always get Tunis and Tripoli really early.

There were two Germanic tribes who had been chased out of their lands by the Suebi, and appealed to Caesar for asylum. At first he told them that he didn't really care but that they could go live with another tribe he knew of, who also hated the Suebi. Then Caesar decided he wanted them all dead, so he set his entire army on both tribes and massacred about 150000 to 200000 Germans.

Sorry, I meant to recommend Medieval 2: Kingdoms, not Three Kingdoms. Just realised the potential for confusion. I mean, I like 3K as well, but the battles just aren't good enough at the moment IMHO

>CE
AD NOW AND FOREVER! Seriously, stop using kike terminology.

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>maybe he's referring to that time during his triumphs when GJC put the two captive armies to fight each other to the death, including horses and elephants?
What? I've read lots of literature about Caesar and nothing mentions that.
Even if it did though, they were conquered slaves, they knew what they signed up for.
>Or the Alesia debacle, but honestly that was Vercingetorix's fault.
You mean the citizens that Vercingetorix kicked out of Alesia to save food? That was totally his fault. He could have just surrendered. Caesar couldn't justify letting Gauls into his camp.
The most controversial thing he did was cutting the hands off the people at Uxellodunum.

>Macedonian men as the effeminate ones and persians as the masculine ones
???????????

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Are you refering the the Helvetii """migration"""? Because that was not triggered by Suebi invasions by any stretch of the imagination. They left their lands completely willingly (even burned their homes on the way out as a symbol) and were on their way to pillage everything west of the Alps. Tribe migrations were a scary thing back then, just look at the Cimbrian wars. Caesar was completely in his right.

Way to ignore context and exaggerate the truth. If you're talking about the Helvetii, there were 200,000 of them and they wanted to settle on the Italian Peninsula. Caesar said he will give them an answer next season and when they returned he had built a wall to stop them.
They attacked him, then he proceeded to defeat them. Completely justified.

They may have a shit unit roster but they're still my favorite faction in Rome 2. It's in such an interesting location and the fact that they're a hybrid of Greeks and Celts adds to the interest.

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>If we wanted a failed state we'd go to Carthage
Gets me every time

All mockery of Jews and their one god shall be kept at an appropriate minimum.

By broken diplomacy I meant that every game turns into a world war around turn 50 or so. Literally every country in your region declares war for no reason, even you allies. I've read somewhere that the game thinks you're slaughtering the population of every city you occupy, which leads to the entire world hating you. I just want to have a comfy semi-RP game in the middle ages, not a "Germany in 1944" scenario.

HASTATI

This. The borders were closed. He was perfectly in the right to enforce them then chase them and dog them all the way back to the north without letting them even sleep for a night without harassing them and trying to set up an ambush for them to slaughter every last man woman and child. I mean what if they had turned around? Can’t risk that.

Greek colonies are fascinating when you realize that they settles as far west as modern day's Barcelona and as far east as modern day Crimea (the latter survived until the 6th century AD)

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PRINCIPES

Unit collision is the main difference, in the newer games unit models are jello, WH made this less bad but it's still much worse

TRIARII

I am sorry, are you saying he was wrong because he killed people during an armed conflict?

Why do I have to the trouble assassinating foreign Priests/Bishops in my territory? Why can't I just expel/kill them?

>"My Sultan, there's an infidel preaching in our cities!"
>"Have him executed!"
>"Forgive me, my Sultan. But we cannot act openly against him. We must use stealth."
>"What!? Why!?"
>"For reasons, my Sultan."
>"What reasons?"
>"Just for reasons, my Sultan."

Velites!

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>war crimes
>existing
Lmaoooo

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They were a notorious warlike tribe too, constantly warring with the Germans. This wasnt just a tribe that wanted to settle it was a huge army. After what happened just years earlier with Gaius Marius defending Italy from the Germans they couldnt risk another event like that.

He famously let them all go after defeating them and let them return to their home, you dumb shit.

>just letting a massive force of 200,000 go so they can regain strength and attack you again
Good thing Caesar was in charge and not you or else Rome would've fallen 350 years early

Nah the tribes were called Tencteri and Usipetes, and it happened somewhere in Netherlands. Some Dutch archeologists believe they've found where the massacre took place.

Playing Massalia alone made me interested to follow up in their history. I bought pic related off Amazon and learned that Greeks have been in contact with the far north earlier than one would assume.
I also liked that faction because I'm something of a Finnish/Irish hybrid myself.

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>my King! Prague we just lost Prague!
>Wh-what?? what happened? It was fine just yesterday!
>Some guy came in and bought it.

la creatura

AVE ATQUE VALE!

youtube.com/watch?v=hdL_NtK1sbA

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>and massacred about 150000 to 200000 Germans.
Absolutely based

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>invades Gaul to pay off his debts and to satiate his ego
>genocides Belgica because they resisted
>writes a book about it
This Caesar guy sounds like a huge fucking faggot to be quite honest

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>What? I've read lots of literature about Caesar and nothing mentions that.
>Even if it did though, they were conquered slaves, they knew what they signed up for.

It's in Suetonius, Pliny and Cassio, with separate accounts giving a pretty complete picture. They were a cross section of all the lands Caesar had conquered with a smattering of convicted domestic criminals, "slaves" in the sense that they were slaves at the time of the combats, not slaves prior to having been captured. As for "signing up", I don't think that was the nature of the arrangement.

I like Caesar as well, by the way, I think that his patriotism and his desire to help the common man were both genuine. I just wish he and Octavian hadn't been *so* bloodthirsty. I prefer Constantine and Theodosius I and II

>350
You mean 1500 years earlier

The old engine handled combat better.

>massacred about 150000 to 200000 Germans.
Based Caesar saving the world from the german menace.

Just completely surround them with 8 units and have them die in the end turn phase.

I'm not American, my parents are simply from different countries.

Read Tacitus. The behaviour of armies was condemned a lot.

Heck read the "obituaries" of Sulla, see how people felt about the use of arbitrary force.

He worked for his status and wealth, unlike you "honorable" Optimates, Cato

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>it is believed Pytheas may have reached Iceland
Holy shit

>ywn be Octavian
>ywn have people vote you in as Consul 20something times even when your name isn't on the ballot
>ywn be the greatest leader the world has ever seen

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Repeat it for the programs in the back, in case they also forgot this particular response string.

how do i fix extremely low fps on rome 1 i have a really high end pc

Oh so you mean the Germanic tribes that invaded a Gallic ally and forced them out of their homes and sent threats to Caesar demanding him to give them land to settle in Gaul?

I wholeheartedly recommend that book, his estimates of Britain were fairly close compared to modern day measurements.

>pontus sends a sea of these faggots to one of my cities as greece
>kill them all with a single hoplite unit
>next turn
>another fullstack of pajamas
>literally sending a wave of jammie men at me every single fucking turn so i cant muster an army to take the city they are coming from

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>Papal Coronation.

youtube.com/watch?v=gDGjpq7Vo-I

Like I said, Cimbrian Wars. Those fuckers came from that very region (Denmark to be precise) and almost destroyed Rome in the process. They're the reason Rome had to abandon the Polybian system to make up for lack of manpower.

>It's in Suetonius, Pliny and Cassio, with separate accounts giving a pretty complete picture. They were a cross section of all the lands Caesar had conquered with a smattering of convicted domestic criminals, "slaves" in the sense that they were slaves at the time of the combats, not slaves prior to having been captured. As for "signing up", I don't think that was the nature of the arrangement.
Can you link me to where it says this? I've read Suetonius before and I dont remember this.
By signing up I mean they openly joined a rebellion against Caesar. They knew what would happen if they lost.
>I like Caesar as well, by the way, I think that his patriotism and his desire to help the common man were both genuine. I just wish he and Octavian hadn't been *so* bloodthirsty. I prefer Constantine and Theodosius I and II
Caesar was hardly bloodthirsty at all compared to his contemporaries. He showed unprecedented clemency and fairness to his enemies. Octavian on the other hand just killed anyone who posed even a slight threat.

Will check it out, thanks

I assume you had decisive victories on average? How could you not muster an army when dealing with Eastern Shitheels?

he refused marrying Cleopatra and banging that sweet Ptolemaic pussy, I can not forgive him

>wanting your dad and rival's used goods
He's a man of class

One of Octavian's only faults is not taking Cleopatra immediately to Rome after he captured Alexandria.

Octavian was a little bitch scared of combat
He wouldnt have had anything if not for inheriting everything Caesar built
Caesar was the original Chad

it was that one city greece starts with that is all by itself in the east
even if i totally wiped the fullstack out they would siege me again next turn
the ai literally cheats to churn out army after army sometimes

That would work? I didn't know that was a thing.

Kek I remember a greek play being the exact same thing
A group of armoured hoplites and archers were triple gold chevrons by the end

Excellent, I wish there were more information on the Massalian armies of antiquity.
For example was there a specialized group of Massalian Hoplites that used Celtic Mail and Greek Hoplon?

why the fuck are you memeing on arcanii? legit uninstalled 2 when i saw they werent included

Cleopatra was ugly as shit according to the numismatic evidence

>not hiring three units of Cretan archers and watching the carnage unfold as flank them and shoot them from the back

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Oh, guess it was them then. It was from some archeology news headline I glanced over.

>CA gave the Teutonic Order Slavic accents.

youtube.com/watch?v=LEV_0VqZTXE

She was "homely"
Caesar was attracted to her brains, she apparently had some seductive power over men
The fact she turned Marc Antony, a horse cocked Chad, into a little Egyptian twink is evidence of this

This, or taking a chance on Rhodes and hiring their godlike slingers.

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>
Nobody looks good on a coin

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i was very disappointed by the new TW. a historical game would have been better. something set in 9th century china for example. there's abbasids in the west, a bunch of different civil war factions, jurchen raiders, something for everyone basically. none of this gay MOBA shit

And Caesar's meglomania meant he would never be able to accomplish the shift in Rome's culture and government that Octavian did

>wanting the whore of the nile
no thanks

She probably gave pretty good BJs.

>playing a faction that accomplished nothing and got defeated by peasants despite being heavily armed and trained
Ill never understand the appeal of Teutonic shit, please explain it to me.

He was killed by a bunch of greedy faggots before he ever got the chance

Cimbrians were a different thing, I just mentioned them because they were also migrating and the ensuing historical bitch slap that ensued traumatized Rome. Don't forget, migrations at the time meant fully equipped armies marching through your lands. Adrianople also started as a simple migration. The visigoths were only asking for safe passage at the start.

how much historical merit is there to depictions of gaulish soldiers that inspired like astorix or that one painting of vercingetorix throwing down his arms before caesar

He was smart enough not to bang a woman with a linear family tree.

Cool armor and Germaboos.

Its the best selling TW game with the most players ever in one of these games, sadly, all we are going to see is more of the same thing. Thanks china. CA also said that due to its success they want to make more games not set in europe, and suggested Africa, look it up.

She supposedly gave BJs to up to 100 roman legionaries in one night

Was that the guy that went beyond the arctic circle and came back and told people about the sun not going down/up in Summer/Winter and they didn't believe him?

Fuck off Cato

I've been tempted to get 3k. The diplomacy and the campaign look entertaining at first glance, despite not being historical. Then again, the units seem very bland and the battles look kinda meh.

Maybe I should just finally do an otomo and/or ikko ikko campaign instead and save me the money.

I'm not a fan of the Teutonic Order at all. I just don't like how CA gave them and Denmark/Norway Slavic accents.

From what I understand (oonly things I know about this are from RTW mods) was that there were indeed mixed units of celtic hoplites. They had the gallic helmet (the one later adopted by the Romans, the iconic one) and fought with a hoplon in the greek style

I L L E G A L
W
A
R
F
A
R
E

It could be, one of the driving factors that got him interested in going was the prospect of plentiful tin and amber along the Northern shores of Denmark and in Britain.

In Records mode, the battles are pretty much what you'd expect from something like Attila or maybe Shogun 2. The battles are fine and mostly what you'd expect, the real differences are indeed on the campaign map. It's a good game but it never hurt anybody to wait for a sale. Both Otomo and Ikko Ikki are loads of fun.

If you had to spend all day marching in the Egyptian heat, you'd think you have earned a good BJ.

Disc space? Remember the age the game came out in. I think in Stainless Steel they have german accents.

winged helmets

I have no doubt there are some mixed units due to the different cultures, like in Rome 2 you have the Massalian Thureos Spears who do wear celtic clothing and greek style helmets and vice versa sometimes wearing a linothorax.

As good as this is the roles should be reversed
Caesar was extremely merciful to people who hated him especially if they were Romans.

You might have something there

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Yet they gave Scotland, France's catspaw, their own accent.

Vercingetorix would beg to differ if he still had a working throat

Wasn't everyone? Generals gained the bloody traits by getting a lot of kills, and they were the best heavy cav in a game that very much favored heavy cav.

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Yeah, I'll just watch a playthrough for now and get it when it's cheap. I'm kinda wondering how they're going to handle dlc for it.

Also, for someone who has never played any of the games centered around Rome, what would be the best. Rome 1 vanilla/modded, Rome 2, Atilla?

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Poor Little Gaul Guy

>Vercingetorix
>Roman

That was in the base game though, the Teutonic order and Lithuania was its own expansion was it not? Couldve just been cannibalized resources or something, just spitballing, I have no idea.

Yeah I think that's the guy, or I read of a similar Greek explorer that went the same may out of the same motivation.

>tin
It's interesting how far they traded that shit, I got really interested in the bronze age collapse a few months ago and was reading/watching some stuff on it and some lecturer compared it to today's oil. That whole thing is really interesting, basically a world ending event that shattered all the great empires of the time expect Egypt which could barely hold on and was a shadow of it's former self ever since.

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Her pussy game strong tho’

For me it was always Acre. Worked out well for me, Acre always ended up as my richest city.

Honestly just really depends. Rome 2 got tons of flak on release but it was a fucking disaster and made lots of mistakes, but unlike Empire CA actually bothered to try and fix it up. These days it's really a pretty decent if not high tier Total War game, though some thins like the UI still suffer a little from its terrible birth. I've had a lot of fun with it though since they put in shit like a less broken political system and family tree. It also has a very comprehensive overhaul mod called DeI if you want more depth and shit.

Rome 1 is beloved as it was a massive step forward in Total War and is a good game in a lot of ways. However it is not without it's own crippling issues like squalor and golden chevron peasants kicking legionnaire ass, though most of it is fixed up with mods. Rome has lots of fucking mods, honestly too many to mention. It's good though, you can even play it on phones these days. It does have jankiness from being like 15 years old though.

Attila Total War is a pretty good game but obviously only focuses on the very late Empire period. It also has a tragic tale in that it didn't do as well as other Total War games because it was the first new TW after Rome II's fucking awful launch, so people were really wary of buying it. As a result it kind of got abandoned and is still plagued by optimization issues and buginess in some areas. If you can put up with it though it's a pretty good game.

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Talk shit, get hit

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>Eager (happy to have the General in the unit)
>Victory seems certain. Only a fool could lose this battle
>t. Gallic noble cavalry

80% of the music in the new TW games are so forgettable. Why can't they give us tunes like this again?

youtube.com/watch?v=jtYCe7ZD5eo

No idea, I use the Med 2 soundtrack for playing Mordhau, stick fight games need a good soundtrack or it doesnt feel right.
youtube.com/watch?v=i8oU5iM2qS4

Cleopatra had more incest in her genes than even the worst Habsburgers. Isn't she actually the most incesteous person that we know of?

Because van Dyck doesn't do the OSTs anymore, Beddow does. And unfortunately it's actually not CA's fault for this, van Dyck got tired of working remotely from Australia so he stopped doing Total War OSTs.
youtube.com/watch?v=vZFaieNEs4c

I remember the main theme of Warhammer TW, and maybe the Vampire battle music, but that's it. The music is so anonymous.

for faggots like you the empire fallen on the end

That's kinda hot.

Even these Gauls?

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here we go again, another eastern rex claiming to be roman

yeah, she was even supposed to marry her brother initially

I liked Empire, please don't bully me

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naval battles were cool

>161x121

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It had potential but it's just so fucking broken and they never fixed it. It was a failed attempt to push things forward.

Its pretty good with Darth mod, its trash vanilla though, same with most TW games.
>love med 2
>the vanilla game is pretty bad
The early games have good groundwork to build on its a shame they kept using the worst goddamn engine they have made to date.

what mods do you guys use for R1? RTR?

Med 1 was the best

Darthmod made it good.

RSII

Roma Surrectum 3. I still don't know how I got it to work on Steam.

>The battles are shallow and too fast.
historically accurate.
the 3 kingdoms period had literally no interesting battles.

E-europa Barbarorum stronk...

Why did the Italians suck in ww2 when they've always been the best warriors? Even Napoleon was a spag

Lack of equipment, industry, just out gunned and out played. Fascist Italy was in no shape to fight in WW2

late industrialization, lack of military tradition, last big war they took part in before WW1 were the Italian wars in the 16c. They were utterly unprepared for a conflict like that.

>always been the best warriors
Never ever. Italy was good soldiers, not warriors. The problem with Italy was not just but also the big thing that also destroys even the best soldiers.
Shitty tactical and strategic decisions by their commanders.

OBLIGATORY
youtube.com/watch?v=qXQopue9fOE

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Their general and leaders were absolute fucking morons, it is completely unparalleled in modern history how badly they performed logisitically. An army cant win a war with guns alone it needs strategy and coordination.

>Italy was good soldiers, not warriors.
HURR DURR
>Shitty tactical and strategic decisions by their commanders.
You're posting in a thread about Italian commanders who conquered the known world

>CE

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>t. Mario Mascarpone

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fug now I want to play some line infantry simulator again

help me Yea Forums, fall of the samurai, empire, or napoopan?

Roman commanders*
Italy did not exist until the mid 1800s.

Fall of the samurai. Put the emperor back on the throne

FOTS, and then you can Napoleon.

Installing.
>it's only 20gigs
>warhams was like 60
what the fuck why are modern total wars so fat

I think around 476 AD and 800 AD were great too, where the germanics not only collapsed the pathetic r*mans, but took everything from them, including, lands, women AND the name roman empire

file compression is a lost art

Based

There is a difference user. Put a gun in a mans hands and you have a soldier, but give him a reason to fight and you have a warrior. The italians had absolutely no interest in fighting in the war, the leaders were just telling them to and they would show up and not give a shit. This was in regards to WW2, in other conflicts they were more than fine.

>tfw you live on the italian peninsula, speak latin, eat pasta, but not italian

Which version of medieval II should i play? I'm torn between base, britannia, and teutonic

>pasta
>in ancient fucking times

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Ye I get you
Just boggles the mind because Mussolini was a capable soldier and clearly had some strategic smarts, he was an intelligent guy. Yet his nation was so incompetent when the war broke out. I think Hitler rushed into things before anyone else was ready.

i liked the years 1202-1204 with the Latins putting the greek pretenders in their place burning down their city and raping their nuns

Stainless Steel combines everything so you just pick what faction to play on the world stage and does rebalances.
>muskeeters freaking out and fleeing the field as soon as enemies come in contact
Yea, nah, shit like this was stupid.

The Romans ate Gnocchi lad.

according to CA zoomers don't have time to listen to speeches. They just want to experience flashy BING BANG WAHOO battles

Gnocchis are made of potatos, so I doubt that.

the themes for the elves in warhammer 2 is reasonably good too.
Very lotr-like

campaign
youtube.com/watch?v=OFoyssxzpYM
battle
youtube.com/watch?v=TKzLHshYGxU

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You'd be Latin, or Sabelian, or Etruscan, or Greek, or Celtic, etc.
You're not Italian, but you may be italic

what are these? Gauls for ants?

They referred to all non-Romans living in the Italian peninsula Romans, and the Greeks called all of them Italians including the Romans.

He was capable, but he did absolutely nothing to inspire faith in the cause
>we are at war because our allies asked us to join them!
>ok...uhhh, we actually kindof like the french, do we have to?
>yes!
>why
>because Hitler asked us to! LETS GO
Didnt really spur the men to fight and die when it was for an entirely different countries cause which alot of people didnt empathize with.

Early or Late SS?

>They referred to all non-Romans living in the Italian peninsula Italians*, and the Greeks called all of them Italians including the Romans.
Sorry brain melted

I swear to Christ almighty that if the next TW isnt empire2 ill kill everyone. FUCK FANTASY FAGS.

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Yeah I really wish Mussolini didnt become Hitler's bitch. Perhaps Fascist Italy might still exist and might not have all the negative connotations.

War criminals are only those who fail and get captured Caesar did the opposite of that and Succeeded and either killed and/or captured all of his enemy the only reason he was removed was because the senate feared him as a chad and like virgins surrounded him unarmed and stabbed him to death

>empire 2
>play as venice
>conquer outposts all over the world
>latin america, africa, asia
>circumnavigate the globe and colonize california
>conquer india
>fight the french and british in massive naval battles

i can only hope

Late if you want to jump right into knights and shit.

>divided the empire even more furthering the decline of rome in the west
>and cause many great pagan buildings and monuments to be destroyed such as Alexander the great's tomb

>get beaten fair and square on the battlefield when you had the vast advantage of numbers and preparation
>guy who beats you shows clemency and welcomes you back with open arms
>stab him to death when he's defenceless
Bunch of slack jawed faggots
Fuck the "Lib*rators"

brutus was kind of a dick when you think about it

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incel

>Stagnant Empire of Homosexuals, Peadophiles and Slavers
Pass on that. Human development didn't truly start until over a thousand years after (Western) Rome anyway.

youtu.be/ZtaxzJC2f7U
>BYE! BYE BYE! BYE!

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>. Human development didn't truly start until over a thousand years after (Western) Rome anyway.
Do you think Humans just popped into existence with the ability to make iron, and advanced architecture?

That's why it's called the REnaissance

>watching a cavalry unit turning a routing stack from 120 to 5 in a matter of seconds

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Any good mods for FOTS?

>bigger cities make less money
How do I deal with this?

They don't make less money, the displayed revenue takes into account the upkeep of your armies. The bigger a ciy gets, the bigger its contribution is to the army upkeep. That's why you get negative revenue at times.

I wanna bully nerds with Gladiator-Chan!

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Man, Imperator: Rome was so shit.

LEGATE CHAN FOR WIFE

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Medieval III when I wanna conquer shit as the Teutonics.

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Redpilled but why are their horned helmets so hard to find

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>Thinking Caesar uplifting savages and exterminating the ones who refused to be civilized is a war crime
Such a feeble mind you have

post more of this type of stuff

Is there a way to play this game on modern computers without it being all fucking janky? Still my favorite Total War game.

Pretty sure only the Hochmeister used the horned helmet, either to denote rank or because it looked cool but I might be wrong tho.

Fuck why are these so funny

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>cares for her men
does that mean these cute depictions are all men
I...

>Cortez did the only thing a reasonable man would do when handed a cup full of human blood

Its applying a new context in a historical allusion

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>dickless persians need to assure themselves of their nonexistant manhood by acting stoic
>chad macedonians already so confident in the thundercock that they act like women to fuck with persians

Man, I'm enjoying this history lesson. Thank you, user.

>thinking massacring (((their))) puppet race is bad
The only crime was that Caesar didn't finish the job and laid waste to all Germans.

Why was Cato the Elder so based yet Cato the Younger was such a fag?

he planned to do just that, before he was killed

Attached: images.jpg (310x162, 13K)

why would you want used property, especially when it already gave birth to another mans child along with the woman being a genetic time bomb

I just want to fuck Cleopatra in the ass, honestly I don't think this far ahead.

Imagine if he wasnt murdered by those effeminate fags
Based Julius would have conquered the world

exactly, sure he was a prick the people trying to colonize the area but he was in the right for destroying the savage cultures in the area, people only defend them because they are conditioned to like anything that doesn't have a white skin color even if they believe in human sacrifice

partake in intercourse

>tfw you don't live in the timeline were Caesar managed to survive and laid waste to Germans saving the world from their barbarity
it hurts lads

The only thing Cortez did wrong was destroy the Aztec capital. That place must have been glorious to see.

thats why you won't be remembers as a great leader user, thinking men asses the value of property before they commit to it and when they think logically, they can achieve greatness

How does that even works, Gaul never was an unified country. That's what makes what Vercingetorix did so incredible, to make a unified army from all those different people.

>chastizes me for thinking with my dick
>men asses the value of property
that's a freudian slip if I ever saw one.

Easy. All you need is mana.

Because /his/ memes are actually good

Pompeii graffiti is golden

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>there are people in this thread right now who are pro emperor

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I miss shows that used the Total War engines.
youtube.com/watch?v=1xOepuz2hBo
youtube.com/watch?v=g9wR_5PllNk

She also doesn't have any egyptian blood.

Attached: EgyptianPtolemies.png (589x484, 11K)

>Seleucids get access to cataphracts, silver shild phalanx, legionnaires, and fucking armored elephants
>Always get raped before they can build any past militia units.

Goddamn, I love the faction, but their start is bullshit.

LAZY FUCKING NORF AND CENT NIGGERS I BET IT WAS SO FUCKING HARD TO KILL RETARDED APE MEN IN FORESTS
GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MEN'S RANKS AS A FUCKING ELEPHANT SHATTERS THEIR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AND THEIR BONES
WHEN EGYPTIAN CUNTS WITH THEIR DEATH RACE SCYTHE CHARIOTS CUT YOU DOWN IN THIS OPPRESSIVE BALLSACK OF A DESERT

Not a lot. Pic related is a proper reconstitution with modern knowledge.

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Comfy.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE PRINCIPES? I WANT MY PRINCIPE WAIFU.

>Conquered the Italians and Germans before your fellow Druids in Iberia and the British Isles
Boi

Take the loli instead

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>light infantry when you can have heavy instead
get outta here with that shit

Prohibere. Potest tantum adepto meus penis sursum respicere tantopere.

The unit collision was superior plus truly devastating and impactful cav charges.

Got RSIII working on my computer, 5 determines what faction I play as. Please give me something easy bros.

You aren't a zoomer, right? You haven't even touched fantashit right?

Play Rome you fucking barbar

Roma

*Maniples in your path*

VARUS!, GIVE ME BACK MY LEGIONS VARUS!

FUCK BARBARIANS

Warhammer has pretty decent unit collision 2bh. Non-synced combat and little shuffling which is also nice.

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Rome, of course.

Carthage Rises

neat

Boii

everybody hates the french even they do

Is the Chinkshit game any good? /twg/ eats up everything CA shits out so their opinion doesn't matter

From what I've heard, so take this with a gain of salt, it's pretty good, but sieges while back are pretty basic, and the UI is absolute trash.

I have 0 interest in a game where you general is a single unit that can solo entire armies.

From what I've picked up from people that have actually played, the strategy layer is the best it's ever been while the battles are just mediocre (not the best, but not the worst in the series either).

WAR CRIME THIS
CODE OF CONDUCT THAT
BULLSHIT, WAR IS JUST PART OF WHO WE ARE, WHY FIGHT IT?

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Degenerates like you belong on a cross.

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>SELEUCID BULLY NOT SO TOUGH AFTER GETTING RAPED

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>both armor parts on the same person
OwO

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based

>not the best, but not the worst in the series either
Hello Cheng

I love how MGR tries to make an anti-war statement and ends up doing the exact opposite

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Based

Cringe

Well, it's a total war game with magic. More importantly the game literally had spyware in it and they had to remove it.
If you live in the civilized part of the world and got it at an early launch you can actually demand the information they got on you sent to you.

>warhammer has decent unit collision
No it fuckin doesnt
WHTW is my fav TW but dont lie, the unit collision is just as trash as ever
as soon as the lines clash it turns into a blobfest and all formations just disappear
Its stupid as hell, Rome 1 never had this issue but everything made in the new engine does

The UNIFIED KINGDOM OF ITALY didn't, the peninsula was called Italy since ancient times, and the peoples inhabiting it, including Romans but also Sabines, Umbrians, Picenans, Etruscans, Samnites, Lucanians, Apulians, etc were Italian, called themselves Italian, and would continue to have a special status under Rome, first as Socii and then getting full citizenship before everyone else.

me with the stuffed animal snuggy hat in the middle background

The fact that it's called "Legio" and not "Pedes" or "Miles" gives me an Chernobyl level autistic meltdown

for FUCKS sake Legio literally means "Levy" and was used the same way we use "Army", everyone in the legion was 'legio'

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