When are you going to stop playing the same thing year after year on end?

>Yea Forumsros
God damn I hate newfags who do this. Just say fucking Yea Forumsirgin you fucking niggerfaggot

I'd rather just finally bite the bullet and get the DS Paddle controller off ebay

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>crank
i've seen crank 2 but havent seen crank
is it as good as 2?

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if i see anyone playing that in public, i'm gonna have to kick their ass. i'm sorry

no need to be rude, Yea Forumsriend

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Every goddamned Jason Statham movie is good, you fuck.

terrible charge port placement.

Wait, so you're telling me the crank is a control device and NOT a clockwork mechanism for charging the battery? I initially thought this thread looked interesting as someone made a device you could charge in the field.

So when is it getting Skyrim?

>Every goddamned Jason Statham movie is go...

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>no portable gaming console with rechargeable batter you can crank to charge.

Why is a random proprietary handheld (you know, like those 17-in-1 gameboy knockoff handhelds you might find hanging on the end of a walmart shelf) being compared to a home console like the two are even the same types of device?

>VACUUMS AND BROOMS ARE BASICALLY THE SAME THING AND IT TOOK A FRIDGE WITH AN ICE DISPENSER TO PROVE IT

Enjoy your ouya 2 i guess?

where is it?

Its saying the exact opposite.

Didn't even know that was real.

shut it, Yea Forumsaggot

>or turn an analog stick in a circle
A crank is one dimensional, an analog stick is two dimensional

This honestly looked stupid enough to be a nintendo product.

crank can be turned two ways

I would pay good money to see the designers' faces when somebody shows them a controller for fishing games.

>one of the games involves you playing a straight male who has to proceed through his day without causing any microaggressions, including using the crank to lower your body as a lady passes by, so as to not assert your male privilege

YOU LITERALLY CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. HOLY CRAP.

Two ways is one dimension you fucking idiot. An analog stick is two axes that each go two ways.

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Why do journalists like to pretend this is a big deal?

>shilling this shit

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Because their bodies are composed of 80+% soi

>can't tell the difference between making fun of something and shilling
retard

they are paid shills you fucking dolt

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The only game I have seen from this is a game where you just roll the crank and a scene plays.

Yeah wow consoles are so homogenous, I'm glad an innovative little console like this could come out to finally do something new. Not a single major console developer has done anything to differ from the standard console mode but finally, FINALLY this fucking gameboy with a crank has shown that a console CAN be different!

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imagine an arcade dial or spinner input device, imagine the ~10 years of developing games around it
throw that out and pretend it didn't happen, don't learn anything from it

I know right? Interesting that a console from a no-name developer with no publicity and no marketing of its own exploded on every major gaming news site on the same exact day with lengthy articles and extensive coverage that couldn't possibly have been written in a spur-of-the-moment fashion. It's almost like the "world's most anticipated game console" has a fabricated hype campaign made especially for it.

>world's most anticipated game console
Does anyone outside of the west even know what this thing is?

Nintendo dick sucking aside, it's just a bad restriction. It's the kind of thing a moron would envision after hearing the phrase "art through adversity" or learning about Chuck Jones' "discipline." As though what you're supposed to do is just throw utterly arbitrary strictures on things.

Ouya Twoya

Does anyone in the west even know what this thing is?

The "most anticipated" line kills me. Who did they think they were fooling?

It's not unbelievable that you could have an ultra-low power device that runs off of a mainspring like a watch. It'd be heavy due to spring steel or require a very expensive alloy, but essentially, you'd wind a spring that would slowly uncoil and turn a magneto to generate current.

I believe some single board computers would be feasible devices to try that with -- anything consuming less than a few watts. You could wind them up and get an hour or so of playtime, and short of wearing the spring out, it generally would ensure you're never with dead batteries no matter your location.

>x = -x
Retard

Reminder that this shit has been shilled since even before it was officially announced because the guy was a fucking retard and advertised it here minutes before the announcement.

They're not on sale yet.
t. Gonna buy one.

What kind of retard looked at this and thought it could actually generate power? There's not even enough room for the magnets.

you don't need a spring, you can generate electricity using a crank by spinning a magnet with a coil of wire around it.

its how crank flash lights and radios work.

What the fuck are you talking about you retard?

One spinner gives you one dimension of movement
Try using one knob on an etch-a-sketch and try to move the pointer in two dimensions

Fuck you Yea Forumsveebs

>turn clockwise
>x
>turn counter clockwise
>-x
It's not hard, retard.

That's one dimension you fucking idiot. The first guy said something about just porting analog stick controls to the crank and you can't do that because a stick is two dimensions and the crank is only one. What are you not getting here?

One axis is one dimension of movement you dummy.

it's two dimensions, retard
forward is one, back is the second dimension

>When are you going to stop playing the same thing year after year on end?
You even sound like an informercial.
Stop shilling your dead on arrival tiger electronics knock off.

Is a graph four dimensional to you? Is a cube a sixth dimensional object?

Is this bait? X is a dimension that holds a value, whether you subtract from it or add to it it's still one dimension
Do you think Gradius is a 4D game because you can go +X, -X, +Y, and -Y?

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No, that would imply this piece of trash has some utility.

hmmm

I see your game shills. You can't defend this POS on its own, so you distract people by not knowing the difference between dimensions and control schemes.

Friend, you've been punked by the marketers I'm afraid. Much like Epic shills damage controlling by attacking steam, or snoy shills attacking Nintendo at any opportunity.

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It's blatant satire you absolute fucking retard
This board is dead

Ouya could at least emulate good games with retroarch. This shit is actually worse than an Ouya.

That's not in the article.

THERE ARE FOUR DIMENSIONS

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turns out you actually can make this up

>The "most anticipated" line kills me.
>not the "it's a 1-bit handheld" part

With how bad shills have been in Yea Forums‘s past, it is honestly hard to tell nowadays.

post yfw you will never be this stupid

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have sex

>not ha/v/e sex

Missed opportunity.