"holo deck, hot tub, lulu from final fantasy x, imp midna, and that girl I saw in line at the bank last week...

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Bah, that's just Federation holodecks for you! Don't get me wrong, Starfleet has some fantastic engineers, but you'd be a fool not to recognize that the Ferengi Holosuite is by far the better choice! I'll tell you what, we're currently holding a special right now, 25% off our normal price for one hour in a Holosuite! I guarantee you'll never settle for anything less! And if you don't like it, you'll get your money back! In the form of gift vouchers redeemable only at Quark's of courseThis of course does not cover the insurance down payment or any applicable taxes

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I'm starting to think it's mostly starfleet who get the privilege of having holodecks, have you ever seen freighters using holodecks?
Even Barclay as the main engineer of the Pathfinder program had to use starfleet facilities to fucking help him sleep.

I rather get swindled by Quark that keep depending of those federation commies.

how many holo wesleys do you think get strangled on a daily basis?

You're forgetting rule of acquisition 140: Quark is a faggot.

Better imaginary ones than real ones. It's basically lolicon in VR.

Holodeck, Lei Fang. Laying defeated before me and now having to make good on a previous wager wherein the loser must acquiesce to the demands of the victor.

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I WANT A FUCKING HOLODECK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>Computer, simulate Cardassia Prime, during the Dominion orbital bombardment.
>Set both Cardassian and Jem'Hadar forces to attack me on sight.
>Add companion mod - Molly O'Brien, from that one time when she aged to 18 in a primitive jungle world and went feral. Raise affinity and lust to max.
>Remove all safety limiters, chief engineer access authority code E0124-Alpha. If I sustain any injuries, notify Dr. Bashir that I had another "kayaking incident".

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>kirk fucked ugly green elf women
>picard made a holo female clone of himself that was fully aware and hated it's fate of being used as a cumsleeve by picard and his entire jr staff

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holodecks may be the only solution to curing pedofilia. Allow the sick fuckers to fuck holochildren while keeping the real children safe. call it a multitrilliondollar sex toy

This is the second time I've seen someone make a "lewd Molly O'Brien" comment with regards to Cardassians and holosuites--same dude, or is this some meme I'm unfamiliar with?

That second one
Wh-what episode?

>Holodeck, simulate Bajor during the occupation. My office. Major Kira enters the scene accompanied by her mother both wearing that famous slave girl outfit from that one series, I forget what it was called.

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>Computer, load program O'Brien CardieCookout 4.2
>Give me... the flammenwerfer from the Battle of Britain program
>Set Cardassian population density to maximum
>Increase flammability by a factor of 2
>Seal all exits in the building
>Oh and... computer? Record the screams to my PADD for later review

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>imp midna
>imp
>not real midna

gtfo pedo

Is there honestly a more based member of starfleet?
Chief O'brian was the best god damn character in DS9

>Holodeck, replace Commander Ryker's beard with fire ants.

ooof

He's also the only member of Starfleet that never went to the Academy. Coincidence?

>Remove Limiters
It's Disable Safety Protocols you fucking cretin

age of consent laws are a thing of the past and intergenerational sexual relations are fully accepted in the federation

The girl had a concealed phaser and kills you.

it's disengage safety protocols you troglodyte

you're in a holodeck. why not both?

hes a massive cumslut though and gets pushed around by all the absolute retards who for some reason are above him in the chain of command in ds9

This is canon

Fuck you Holo Deck, you're the worst DM.

It's that action requires the consent of two senior officers you amoeba

you're a faggot

>Imp Midna
>Pedo
Shortstacks aren't lolis user.

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Uh-oh, it's a holodeck malfunction episode! Lulu is a futa, your mother's genetic patterns got stuck in the pattern buffer and now she's Imp Midna, and that girl you saw at the bank is a sentient super AI and is trying to sell the ship to Ferengi privateers.

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Based

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I actually heard "unable to comply" with Majel Barrett's voice in my head.

>Ohhhhhh, what's this, you never actually WENT to Starfleet Academy!? Bahahahahaha, what a loooooooser! Enjoy being second to a *snicker* Ferengi Helmsmappfffffffttttt Ahahahahahahahahaha

2 out of 3 is great so far.

You could have left the safety on.

Again? I hate it when that happens.

I have a very hard time understanding how anyone puts up with anything in the ideal Roddenberry future. With no need to work for pay I couldn't see myself lasting two seconds working for any of these assholes before I turned in my resignation by way of taking a dump on the captains chair.

>for some reason are above him in the chain of command
Because he's an enlisted man, he's not actually part of the chain of command.

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>Miles Edward O'Brien, I may have the body of a ten year old but I am still your wife! Now we are having a second child one way or another!

That's the general idea. Doing something you actually want to do instead of putting up with some crap job to keep food on the table.

Well, regardless of what the RPG says about Federation currency, the crew of DS9 all get paid in latinum to spend at Quarks

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>picard made a holo female clone of himself that was fully aware

that some soma shit right here

Right but even if it's something I WANT to do doesn't mean I want to do it for them. Dream job doesn't mean dream boss. I just want to study alien mycology not fight the borg because the captain pissed off some cosmic godlike being.

>Computer, activate program Doctor Gamma-3
>Create 10 copies of Seven of Nine infected with the Zanthi fever
>Enlarge all sexual proportions by a factor of 5... no, better make that 50
>Create an audience of millions of spectators and enable forcefields on all exits to the stage
>Oh, and disable satety protocols and lock the door for 10 days
>Activate the Emergency Command Hologram.

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>this image
im laughing my fucking head off

>That second one

What the fuck, source please

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It gets very muddled. The allusion to this is that people do this just for the sake of "improving themselves" but then again why anyone would actually do that when they could just live off the state is very unclear. I guess you're supposed to buy the idea that if humanity got to this point technologically, that philosophically they would also promote this lifestyle.
Then again, we have instances where they talk about "losing money" with regards to gambling or "You'll have it later" with regards to owing someone a bet, all of which would suggest that they have, at the least, other empires' currency. WHY they would just have that on them (or how they would have even acquired that) is never established

>Computer, simulate a horrible dystopian future where nothing can be left to rest

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Even doing your dream job would be a pain. With holodecks existing, you could do your dream job while making sure every day is like your dream, rather than the reality that even the best of jobs have things that suck about it. Without a need to be productive, people won't be productive.

Except 10 year olds dont have Libido and as a character she doesnt feel an overwhelming need to have kids

>want to use holodeck to simulate taking a walk with your dead dog
>have to wait for hours while worf fucks a bowling ball and leaves his cum all over the place that your holodog licks up

So the enterprise has a crew of about a thousand or so right? How do they divvy up Holodeck time? Because we only ever see the senior officers use it. I assume they have a few scattered about but that's still quite the queue

I desperately want stewart to die halfway through the production just to read all the tears of the production jews who came up with this tripe

ATTENTION Yea Forums SHITPOSTER
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT WOMEN I WAS FUCKING WAS YOUR WAIFU
THAT IS ALL

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>that one where geordie la forge summons a hologram of the ship original designer to help him fix a problem, and he falls in love with how good she is at his job

absolute fucking kino

-It's... I don't know, but this feels wrong somehow."
-"Miles Edward O'Brien, I am still your wife."
"- Technically, yes. "
"- Technically?"
"No, I-I mean, of course you're my wife. But you're also ten years old."
"Beverly said it's actually closer to 12."
"- That's not the point. -"
"So what is the point? – Is our marriage over?"
"- I didn't say that. But until they find a way to reverse this effect, it's hard to ignore the fact that you're a little girl."

Actual Quote from Episode

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I miss the 90s

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>later meets the real person
>she's creeped out by the hologram
>final episode confirms they ended up fucking anyway

He was a chad all along

NEELIX NO THOSE ARE SECURED DATA LOGS

I wonder what ever happened to the kids who played those roles.

Friendly Reminder that Commander Riker's Sexual Organs did nothing wrong.

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Was that honestly the best name they could’ve come up with

No wonder everyone hated Voyager.

This is Molly O'Brien

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would you play it Yea Forums?

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PROMENADE

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*mashes the controller*

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>she was your mother but MY cum sleeve!

It's literally Picard: The Star Trek Show, the only draw is Stewart reprising his role so why not embrace it

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Tell me Captain.
If the Federation is so Great why isn't there a single good Star Trek Game?

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>Low Int run

>I wonder if holodecks monitor your sexual behaviour and warn security.
If they did, Barclay would have been in trouble a long time ago. Federation starships don't even have fucking security cameras in the hallways, it's the dumbest shit.
>we have a dangerous criminal/alien/asshole on board
>they're confined to quarters
>OH NO THEY GOT OUT HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
>COMPUTER LOCATE ASSHOLE
>ASSHOLE IS NOT ON BOARD THE ENTERPRISE
>OH NO WHERE DID THEY GOOOO

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Because that kind of attitude is why we got the last jedi

based

>it's another one guy manages to take over the whole ship episode

you should reconsider

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"Holodeck, Cabin in the woods with a fire place and bear fur rugs, Nanako from Persona 4, Mayl from Mega Man Battle Network, and Etna + Flonne from Disgaea, mint lube, her sensation condoms, dildos and cock rings, remove limiters."

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Last Jedi was handled by a fucking idiot. Patrick Stewart himself is part of the Writing crew for STP for the reason so they dont fuck it up.

I should make more webms of the "problematic" voyager episodes, like the one with the false rape accusation or the one where the doctor disproves the holocaust.

Stewart has dementia, this isn't a good thing

>Computer, create a two-to-one scaled copy of Tasha Yar, include all normal human bodily functions, add large quantities of armpit and pubic hair. Simulate this copy with body sweat, lactation and musk. Lock Holodeck doors and disengage safety protocols.

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Is dementia why he decided to be poop in the emoji movie

can't wait for the orange man bad episode and the one where he discovers he was a gay all along, screencap this shit.

My perfect ending for this show would be Picard going home sitting down and using the Flute from Inner light to play his music while the Camera slowly zooms out and credits roll.

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Same dude, probably. O'Brien is a good and caring family man who would never abuse his daughter or even his bitch wife. He cares only for ration bars and Cardie blood.

Starfleet ships monitor everything, but generally data isn't pulled up unless there's a need or it trips a red flag.

Loli holodeck sims are more than likely legal within the Federation, the holodeck is generally considered a viable alternative to more baser "needs" when fulfilling them for real is impossible or unacceptable. Federation society is generally much more tolerant of different people and sexualities so long as they don't actually harm anyone.

Well Star Trek IS supposed to be an utopic future and not this dystopia the actual future turned out to be, where every street corner has a surveilance camera with automated facial recognition and all your devices and communications are monitored by alphabet soup agencies and megacorporations.

Stewart's not a writer. And he was in enough bad Trek episodes and movies even back when the show wasn't shit.

DS9 is so fucking good

You've killed me i'm dead now because of this

Sir Patrick is too old to play that flute anymore

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>Star Trek is Demolition Man

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>that tiny strip of tummy
oh yes

/trek/ is beautiful

>pleb is still an insult in the future
They're in good hands

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I would absolutely get holodeck addiction.
Why the fuck would anyone want to leave?

You can literally murder people in holodeck sims in graphic detail and it's fine, I don't think they care if you fuck kids.

>TOS Starfleet logo and font
Why? Literally why, though?

>that filename

>simulate taking a walk with your dead dog
Hey, man, that's not cool. You ever thought about how many people would go nuts from holoaddiction due to not letting go of deceased family or friends?

twitter.com/MidnaAsh/status/1125569012539068416

>universal translator
>their lip movement are matching what you're hearing when it should be the opposite

>Literally every board has better star trek threads than Yea Forums

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I'm sure there are a lot of people like that. While they certainly exist in great number, Star Trek isn't about the NEETs back on earth. The crewmembers of the ship more or less want to be there; otherwise they wouldn't have joined and gone through all the training to get there. I doubt there are many people willing to go through starfleet academy just for the chance to take a shit and leave. That's why it's a non-factor in the show, all the crew members are past that particular selection filter

The UT was visual as well as audio. Watch the clip of Weyoune speaking Dominionese

>Computer: Simulate 7 jars of Mayo Colliding towards Piper Perri, in slow motion.heighten sensitivity by a factor of 2. Disengage safety protocols.

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/trek/ is dead, killed by those who would bear tripcodes and those who would respond to every one of their offtopic posts. Yea Forums has always had good Trek threads, though.

Elite Force? Why there isn't something in the vein of SCP Secret Lab but on a starship though, I dunno. Maybe 'cause it'd basically end up a less silly SS13. Then get DMCA'd by jews.

I gotta agree with O'Brien, how could you trust anyone with tubes in their fucking necks

>Bank
>In the Federation

>ey
>ey vulcan
>you wanna buy a pon farr programme

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>I want to see Picard on screen again!
>But it's being made by the hacks from Discovery!
IT'S THIS THE ULTIMATE MONKEY PAW

Well that's nice and all, but you're fucking dead, Gene, and your idea has more holes than a spoonhead's torso after O'Brien is done with it. You know what DS9 has? A security station with cameras all over the place down every hallway, turbolift, and docking bay. You know how many "OH NO THE PERSON IS GONE" situations Odo had to deal with? Way fucking less than any Starfleet doofus. Those Cardies knew how to design a station, yep. (sip)

There would have to be some kind of financial institutions or they could never trade with the other interstellar powers that still have money

>Listen Garrick, I think I may have done some things back there that well looking back..
>Let me stop you right there, Chief. You think you might have offended me with your wish to exterminate my race? That's a very human outlook if there ever was one.
>So you're not mad?
>Oh on the contrary. I think it's quite the compliment. After all you wouldn't wish our end if you didn't fear us.

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Holodeck, simulate a holodeck carrying out this command

business idea: two holoprojectors (A & B)

A projects a replica of B (called C) and C produces a replica of A (called D

C & D are projecting each other, so if you switch off A then the system stays active with no real projectors at all

fuck off, moriarty, i'll kick your ass

You broke it.

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I love Garak

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>That episode where Nog doesn't magically forgive him for the time he went insane and shot him
>Garrik is flattered

something something nu-trek timeline something STD

>*hmph*s externally

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Andrew Robinson loved Garak so much he wrote a novel about him

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based quarkposter

Holy shit, I wonder why I thought that she is so familiar. I realized that she was in Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, the episode where her dad owned a failed sushi den because he was too much of a bitch to stand up on his wife.

Sir Patrick Stewart was also thought he was circumcised for decades until his doctor said that he wasn't, in his 70s.

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Come to Quark's
Quark's is fun

>posting about a 30 year old tv show

boomers all of you

i know

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>Hmph, I don't know why I'm doing this...
>Computer...
>Simulate the kind of city Quark would enjoy, from an appropriate time and place in human culture
>Now... make me the ruler of this city
>Give me a police force of period appropriate robots
>Give me total control over them, with complete access to their surveillance devices
>And now... give me problems to solve, so I can restore order to this lawless den

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durr go back to paw patrol faggot

Not a boomer, just had megafucking trekkie nerd ass parents

in the future, much like in the past, we will come full circle and the masses will realize that true love is only possible between grown men and children.

They don't address the holodeck directly, you stupid fuck.

There's an episode of Orville with that exact plot, except the sex bit isn't implied, it is quite explicit.

youtube.com/watch?v=bl5TUw7sUBs