This a true story. You might not believe me, but this is all very real.
I was at a garage sale with my mom, and I bought a copy of Donkey Kong 64. "Wow!" I said, "I can not wait to play this one!" My mom handed me the cartridge. I noticed it was missing something. It no longer had a label, but it did have something written on it: "Donkey Kong 64: The Unsold Copy" I turned the cartridge over, and to my surprise, the real Shigeru Miyamoto had signed it. I was so excited to have that signature, I got on my two-wheeler and rode really fast back home. I didn't even bother to drive it into the garage, I just jumped off my bike and threw my bike into the lawn like they do in those shows. I ran into the house, and I popped that sucker into that Nintendo 64, put on that play button, and got ready for a special treat.
This was when I first noticed something was wrong. When I put in the cartridge, I felt it lock in. I had never noticed other games do that before. I tried taking it out, but it wouldn't come out at first. So I just figured maybe there was a little piece of plastic sticking out. I just let it slide. I turned on the game, and there it is! The old logo I used to remember, a year ago when I was one!
The DK Rap started playing, but something was off about it. The lyrics were all jumbled, and their eyes were glitching up. But I just shrugged it off and pressed start, ready to relive some of my childhood memories. I looked past the DK Rap. I said "time to play my favorite game!" I started a new file up, and usually when Donkey Kong sees a banana he says "OH. BA-NA-NA." but he did not this time. He said, "EUGCHHHH! BANANA!" It sounded like a little boy screaming, I couldn't quite make it out. That's when I turned around and saw my mom in red face paint.
Knocking my mother off (she was being a goof as usual), I started it up. It was just like I remember it, the pan-in with the bird and everything, you guys know the rest. Cranky Kong told me I had to go get the three barrels so I could learn the basics: climbing, breaking barrels, and jumping. But something strange happened. After Cranky told me my mission, the barrels were nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the barrels. Confused, I entered the Banana Horde, hoping to find something to do.
After entering the Banana Horde, I noticed the screen was a lot darker than usual. I tried to adjust the tv brightness but for some reason, it stayed as dark as it was. Then I got the idea that I would get on Skype and contact my friends and ask them if they knew anything about this banana sound Donkey Kong made, as well as the glitch eyes and jumbled lyrics of the rap, my mom in red face behind me, and the missing barrels that Cranky spoke of. As I stood there on Skype, after pressing enter, I waited. Ten seconds later, I saw that my friend was beginning to type as the three little dots began to bounce. But then they stopped. Whatever he was going to write, he never sent me. So I went back to the game but now I realize something was very wrong. The screen had gotten darker, even more so than before. This is when things really started to shake me up. I looked in the corner of the screen and I noticed something was happening so I made Donkey Kong walk over there.
To my utter and complete shock, a 3D model of King K. Rool started rising out of the terrain, but he had no textures. He was purple. He faced my character and had no animations, he was T-Posing. He slowly moved towards Donkey Kong and I made Donkey Kong run the other direction as fast as I could. I watched in terror as my favorite monkey hero got torn to shreds, screaming in agony. I couldn't help but cry a little as I saw Donkey Kong's ribcage burst open by King K. Rool's claws. When I saw it, I screamed. I turned the game off. I started back. I reset the game and tried to pull the game out, but I couldn't. I decided to give it another go. All that appeared on the screen was a photorealistic dead monkey, with flies buzzing around it and a tie poorly photoshopped on his body. It looked like someone had really killed a monkey and put a tie on it. I didn't know what to do.
I grasped at my heart. It started to beat faster and faster. Suddenly the picture zoomed out, and I was greeted to the Nintendo opening from the GameCube game "Luigi's Mansion", you know the one. The zoom-out suddenly showed that the Banana Horde was not as I remembered it. The bananas were rotten, dripping with ooze of some kind. And the face? Well, that was actually a face that was stabbed by a stake with all the other Kong heads on it. You know, Stinky Kong, Candy Kong, Lanky... Lanky was crucified like Jesus. Crispy Kong, Cookie Kong... they were all dead, ripped apart. And the purple King K. Rool, hording over his horde of bananas, made a loud static noise. This was when my Skype finally messaged me back. I ran over to my computer and there was my friend being held by the hair by King K. Rool himself. Only my friend didn't have his usual body beneath his head, he was decapitated! And the picture was followed by text that said "this is real." THIS IS REAL. Finally, my tv flickered. Text appeared. "This is only a demo, but thank you for playing my game. Please buy it when it come out. -Shigeru Miyamoto"
>Lanky was crucified like Jesus HE DIED FOR OUR SINS
Carson Diaz
A
Eli Smith
>Lanky was crucified like Jesus HE HAS NO STYLE HE HAS NO GRACE THIS KONG IS FROM AN ABRAHAMIC FAITH
Adrian Morgan
what the FUCK bro this made mustard gas
Aaron Rogers
>THIS IS REAL. Ah fuck this is real? Now Im spooked.
Kayden Edwards
BLOODY
Carter Wright
It was a nice bright sunny day and I just got my weekly allowance and I really wanted to buy a game. My father fucked me in the ass, but it was a bright sunny day so I didn't care that much. I was at a garage sale with my mom, and I bought a copy of Donkey Kong 64. "Wow!" I said, "I can not wait to play this one!"
Doesn't compare to what happened to me OP. At a garage sale I found a copy of Donkey Kong 64, but something was odd. The cartridge was bloody red, and the label spelled the title as DONGKEY KOCK 69. I thought it was odd, especially since when I took the cartridge to the seller he started to cry and gave it to me for free.
Kayden Moore
>my friend being held by the hair by King K. Rool himself. Only my friend didn't have his usual body I have some news user, your friend is a gay furry and gave head to K.Roll
Daniel Taylor
lmao
Adam Price
If you were in a fast food chain filled with eyeless corpses and you see the oil covered portal it probably contains a wish grating fey that grants you 3 wishes for your courage
Easton Hernandez
Things that describe a Subway
Jaxon Brown
Anyway I put it on my N64. At first everything was ok. I smiled when the classic, cheesy Donkey Kong Rap started to play. But this is where everything started to go wrong. At Lanky's verse, instead of the usual lyrics, I got this: >HE HAS NO COCK >HE HAS NO CUNT >THIS KONG HAS A BLOODY WOUND >HE CAN DILATE, WHEN SHE NEEDS TO >AND STRETCH HIS WOUND OUT, JUST FOR YOU >KILL HIMSELF, JUST LIKE A LOON >THIS CRAZY KONG JUST DIGS THIS TUNE the rest of the lyrics were the usual, but the rapper was crying while singing them, and the kongs looked nervous and depressed.
Ryan Stewart
underrated
James Walker
Then what?
Noah Flores
This was odd to say the least. What kind of twisted mind could make something like this? Was this the work of the Illuminati? But curiosity got the best of me and I started a new game. But instead of donkey kong I was playing as a green frog dressed in a tuxedo. While classy and cute, this was nothing like what I remembered. Also the frog constantly said FUCK TRANNIES whenever I did anything. I tried shutting off the console but nothing happened. Instead, a disfigured Lanky Kong appeared on the screen. He was naked and had a photorealistic wound on his crotch. The poor frog started to cry as HE came closer to him. When he touched the frog a piercing scream came out of the tv as I fell unconscious. When I woke up I had boobs and a pussy. Now I have to dilate every day, thanks to that awful cartridge. TL;DR FUCK JANNIES and FUCK TRANNIES.
Robert Walker
HE HAS NO EYES WITH WHICH TO SEE, HIS EVERY WAKING MOMENT IS MISERY HE HAS NO MOUTH BUT HE WANTS TO SCREAM HE ONLY WISHES IT WERE JUST A DREAM
Logan Perez
The game played normal but Lanky dripped blood out of his eyes everywhere he walked and it wouldn't despawn
Liam Rodriguez
Yeah, should have at least wished for fries.
Parker Long
I once bought a copy of pokemon ruby. I checked the save to see if he had anything of note. There was only one pokemon in the first pc box, and it was holding a letter. It said: >ELISE, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH >HERE, HAVE THIS CUTIE I FOUND >GO CATCH SOMETHING COOL FOR ME >I WILL BE WITH YOU SOONER THAN YOU THINK >LOVE, MARTIN It was a ralts. Weird. I transfered the others to my soulsilver game, but i kept the ralts in ruby.
Ethan Bailey
Once I found a copy of DK64 at a garage sale but there was hyper realistic blood oozing out of the cartridge. Naturally I bought it. When I tried the game out my console died. Don't pour liquids into electronics.
Adam Cook
>"This is only a demo, but thank you for playing my game. Please buy it when it come out. >-Shigeru Miyamoto" Fuck you Miyamoto, I paid for the whole game
>CONTINUE FILE #666* >*[Recorded from a REAL BLOG OF A COLLEGE STUDUNT!]** >**(be fore he suidided...)
I am college student who lives alone in a dorm and gotted Nostalgia for the good old days. I saw there sale was pokemon emerad on (etsy (hipster ebay)
so i buy.
when i get cartridge it was emerald only BLACK with skurleton on the front instead of rayquaza but with blood-eyes. on the file, I am in Elite Four vs. Lance and only have 6 pokemon in my party. they all unknown and they spell "YOUR DEAD" Preety suspicion," I think put probably just something in my eye? The music is lavender town but backways and when I go fight He he has 666 pokemon too! hE sends one out and I HEAR ITS CRY.
It turns out hte pokemon they are ALL MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND, but HYPER REALISTIC AND BLOODEYE. IT'S SO SCARY YOU GUYS that i throw the playstation across the room broke the game in half. Next day I get roommate to play. He's like "Ehehehehe probably IS not that scary," but she turned on the game and the screen was a picture of US, and but we were DEAD, and the scariest part of this story is that WE was YOU, and YOU BECAME SKELETON and WROTE this...
Nathan Thomas
Fuck I don't even like Pokemon will I become a spooky haunted skeleton?
Lucas Murphy
Thanks OP, wasn't fantastic but I appreciate the effort and liked Lanky Kong being crucified.
This will always be my absolute favorite and it baffles me when people take it seriously.
Cooper Carter
>This will always be my absolute favorite and it baffles me when people take it seriously. Same. I just smile every time I see it.
>Hello there, guys and gals, and welcome to another episode of Haunted Gaming and today we're taking a look at a Creepy Pasta called "Haunted Kong 64", so sit back, relax and let's see what this has to offer.
This was when I tried to get into it and I found nothing good and immediately gave up
Lucas Gonzalez
have you ever heard of a creepypasta young child?
Austin Gutierrez
One day I was playing Super Mario 64, going about my usual business in the Dire Dire Docks when Mario suddenly turned his head towards the camera at a 47 degree angle, staring right at me and said "....Fuck!" I said "Did Mario just say a swear?!" My Mom burst in the room holding the Mario manual and shouted at me "Are you swearing in here?!" I said "No Mom! It was Mario!" But she didn't believe me! She grabbed me by the hair and tossed me into the bathroom. I went "OOF!" She washed my mouth out with a bar of soap and then spun me around and tossed me back into my bedroom while she shouted "So long, gay Bowser!" "If I hear you swearing in here again, you're gonna be in big trouble mister!" she said and she slammed the door shut.
Later that night I decided to go back to the old Dire Dire Docks for further inspection. This time, Mario turned his head at a 22 degree angle towards the camera and said"....Cunt!" My Mom burst through the door and belted me across the face with the Mario manual. "I warned you about your potty mouth!" she yelled at me.
"No Mom!" I said "It wasn't me! It was Mario!" But she didn't believe me and did the ground pound on me. She washed out my mouth with that yucky tasting soap and tossed me out the window like King Bob-omb. I shouted "WAAAAAAAH!" and hit the ground outside, bleeding hyper realistically. She shouted out the window at me "If I hear you cursing again like that no good Wario, you're really gonna get it, young man! Now go to bed!" and so I did.
I tried to prove it wasn't me saying the swears, but no matter how much I played through the Dire Dire Docks level again, Mario never did another swear.
