You are now in possession of the Portal Gun. What's the first thing you do with it?

Hide it somewhere in my house, because if it's the only one of its kind, all hell will break lose if the public knows about it

Portal in my bedroom
Portal to my fridge.
Also this

>drive to my grandparents' house
>drive to my house
>put portal
>visit whenever without the 4 hour drive
:)

>grandparents start getting really needy and overly-friendly since they live in such close proximity and privacy is dead
...:(

yeah sucking other dick with a fucking portal

why are your bedroom and kitchen made of moon dust

Shortcut to bathroom

fpbp.

Came here to post this.

Give it a nice thick coat of nuln oil.

Shoot footage of it working, send it to someone at Space X, and offer to give them exclusive rights in exchange for the development of a moon base and a board seat.

Put it in India to get rid of the smell

trade it for my friend's going into games machine

I would probably open one in my backyard and stakeout in front of the local bank.I will wait for the armoured van, shoot the other portal inside when no one is looking and quickly close it. Money lands on my backyard.

this

Moon dust isn't the only thing that conducts portals, it's just really good at conducting portals. Otherwise the pre-1980 test shafts would be impossible to complete. It's likely that Portals also can be put on concrete and other solidly white materials.

I can suck my own dick and it’s basically impossible to cum. You feel the “I’m sucking a dick” way more than you feel the “I’m getting my dick sucked”. That and the discomfort of the position make it hard to cum and stay hard, so you end up jacking off to get to where you want, so in the end it’s basically just jacking off into your own mouth, and cum tastes terrible, I even drank pineapple smoothies everyday to make my cum taste better, it still sucked. Also, when you’re that bent/spread, your ass naturally gapes a little, so you can smell your own ass fumes.

Sucking your own dick is overrated as fuck.

The perpetual testing initiative also established a dimension where the Portal gun works on anything.

You could get around this by putting the portal somewhere they wouldn't see, so they think you drove whenever you visit

Try to sell it to the us military for hundreds of millions. Feels good.

but then they would wonder why i wasn't keeping the car with them

Ok John Wilkes Booth

This is the gayest thing I've read in a while. Thank you for your service

>put brick into infinite freefall
>leave it for a few days
>see how many houses the brick can fly through

>A few days
It would hit terminal velocity within a few minutes

>doesn't understand terminal velocity

Rent an office in New York and an office in LA, Link them and charge a toll for going back and forth.

[x] look directly at the operational end of the device

I would try to examine the portals more closely.

What properties do the edges of portals have?
What happens if you close a portal while something is halfway through?
Pic related

Otherwise I am unsure. I think making the discovery public might let someone reverse engineer the gun. And what joy I can get from it is irrelevant to the benefits it could have to humanity.

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youtube.com/watch?v=_9_2AWUcZfE

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Sell it to some nerd because it's useless without the moondust panels.

The more you know.

Basado

Sucking your own dick feels like a blowjob about as much as masturbating feels like a handjob.

Throw it away. Knowing Aperture Science it probably gives off some cancer causing radiation or poisonous chemical.

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The moon is quite small. You might just give it a breathable atmosphere without exhausting Earth's atmosphere enough to kill everyone.

Inside of a big cardboard box that I could mail to wherever I want to go.

or inside a vagine