Meanwhile, in Outer Hea/v/en

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>walked in on Boss and Miller sparring ass-naked in the showers again

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Ocelot is such a prick, I just wanted to do some John Wayne shit and the douchebag lectures me about my engravings. This literal cowboy motherfucker who wear's a bright red scarf to the battlefield has the gall to bitch at me about some minor cosmetic work on my 1911

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>walked by that invisible girl's cell-pit and she was sunbathing again

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youtu.be/n7rJhk36d7I

I saw the boss today!
He knocked me out several times in a row and threw me off the platform but I assume it was a training exercise, I should strive to preform better next time.

You lucky fucker. The boss hasn't acknowledged me in weeks

Which one of you fucking autistic pieces of shit smashed the mirror in the bathroom?

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A-anyone want to talk about paw-pads?

i would unironically spar naked with one of my bros
no homo though

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FUCK, ANOTHER NIGGER ON A BALLOON??

Stop squandering all of our earnings on stupid R&D like those cardboard boxes. It hard enough having the deal with all this graffiti and your superfluous import demands.

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Why doesn't boss fulton more women?
It's a sausage fest up in here.

How about you guys hurry the fuck up. It should take less than a minute to attach a grenade launcher. Don't give me that tier shit, it shouldn't take over 4 hours.

Guys I thought the boss wanted to disarm all the nukes, why do we have all of these?

Everyone gangsta until Huey starts walking

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Hey anyone up for a game of soccer?
I'll be on the Rec. Platform here in a few after I wrap up things in the Petting Zoo.

You asked to train with them right?

I think you need to shut up. In case you didn't know, we're low on man-power, time and money. Everyone wants to go on a mission with big boss, but research is "boring" to them. Doesn't help that you people keep buying your expensive nintendie playing cards, overpriced cassettes, and stickers that you keep slapping on everything. We get it you read "1984". Stop.

>soccer
I know Big Boss is, or at least was, American, but come on, dude.

>tfw I got to touch DD's pawpads
they're so soft holy shit guys

The game has giant walking death robots, holographic personal computers and parasites that kill you if you speak Kikongo.

Okay, guys hear me out, what if we all went into the cell-pit at once and surrounded her? We'll have a shot at besting her then.

show me ONE good looking '80s anime.

ENGRAVIIIINGS

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I'd figure we'd do it in honor of Peace Day user, but if soccer's not your thing how about we just go fishing?

This little blonde shit keeps pissing me off, why are we taking care of a bunch of African kids again?

make your bullets go faster. Good thinking soldier.

Boss just punched me while his playing Rebel Yell. I don't know why.

Miller confiscated my pole for making fun of his burger nonsense :/

Kill your self.

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lucky

Miller dumped half of our R&D into a fucking burger that tastes like ass-- don't let him know I said that, by the way. Anyways I think your excuse is bullshit.

maybe they're used oil rigs thats been refurbished into a base.

Guys, why are we low on fuel again?

Also, somehow the most advanced Metal Gear. How did we go from this... (1984)

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You know the game is just a simulation, right?

Hey guys, I got a whole box of these I found in one of the resource shipping containers. I’ve been putting them up all over the base!

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...to this? (1995)

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I dunno, but I noticed some high resource projects labeled "NOT-A-NUKE" in the RnD queue. I dunno, maybe we're getting ready for a big bbq?

Can someone take the guns away from the fucking kids? They got the sights dialed to max so they can't hit shit but I am getting fucking tired of fixing bullet holes and we're running out of lego.

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It's not the most advanced the thing didn't work and was literally a puppet for psycho mantis you dunce. How come everyone didn't notice the game is about misinformation

Guys, I was at the Med Platform the other day and guess what, I saw Boss talking to himself.

Post cassettes you brought from home
youtube.com/watch?v=WI3PbbRgkEc

Why not build them there now and build the additional platforms further out?

Big boss shot me with a tranq it was awesome!

What color is she... underneath?

It only functioned due to psychic powers holding it up, that's how

Stop it.

>the most advanced Metal Gear
maybe the most advanced looking but definitely not the most advanced.

to THIS?

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What a thrill...

Made by an Emmerich
Not made by an Emmerich
Also ST-84 didn't even work without Mantis.

its because youactually big boss told him the same exact thing years earlier, did you not play mgs3? youtube.com/watch?v=MrbVZCF2s3M

I will find you and murder you, my ass is the one that gets eaten whenever Ocelot and Miller find them.

I think Boss is not the real "Big Boss".

It really was a missed opportunity.

>my ass is the one that gets eaten

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Why is it always full moon here?

youtu.be/CM7Mw_WMUG8

I’ll put up twice as many today just for you.

Sounds like the Boss is back youtube.com/watch?v=SOFCQ2bfmHw

I don't care if he\s the real boss or not! He's my Big Boss!

When are we going to import more noodles? I asked Boss when the next shipment arrives but he just put me in a chokehold and made me give up my diamond stash.

I learned a new language today.
Mbote guys.

Welcome home, Bo-- uh uh uh..

I want to beat up the congos like a regular pair of bongos.

LAMBERT: Fisher, your mission is to neutralize the international terrorist known as "Big Boss", he's held up in an offshore plant called "Outer Hea/v/en", use any means necessary to remove him from the picture, Fifth Freedom.
FISHER: "Big Boss"? Sounds like a Dick Tracey villain.
GRIM: Who's Dick Tracey?
FISHER: Grim you STUPID FUCKING MILLENNIAL WHORE stop making me feel OLD.

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Jesus miller get off the base message board.

What game?

Hey guys, where the fuck was everyone for Kikongo lessons last night?
You were the ones that wanted to learn this language.

Sorry, don't speak ebonics.

Hey, so, why is everyone here either a Soviet Afghanistan veteran or a fucking African mercenary?

pink and white shimapan.

Hunt Down the Freeman

I'm not him.

I really don't want to learn this stupid tongue but all my roommates are fucking negros that speak that shit language and after half a year of listening to their bickering I started understanding it more and more.
I don't need lessons, I can already tell them to clean up the fucking dog's piss when the boss isn't around.

Power of the PS Triple.

Yeah, it's weird. This morning we even heard him shout "AAASSSS!"

Boss just punched my teeth out the other day. I was just minding my own business, then I'm suddenly grabbed from behind and starts asking me about some fucking diamonds I never heard of. He let me go after he realized I knew nothing but not before knocking me out with a square metal punch to the jaw.

What the hell's up with this shit?
He do this often? I've only been here for about 3 weeks...

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Yeah he's kind of an asshole. The healthcare is pretty good, though.

You should be training more also learn kikongo, Boss is a big sjw

Do they even have dentists here?
I'm gonna have to get fucking teeth implants now.

>doing firing range tests
>hear some kind of thruster
>is someone fucking firing rockets?
>wake up with a killer headache and the guys I was with knocked out
what the fuck happened?

*cough*
*cough*
Fuck niggers

I don't know why, but I feel like Huey's gonna get cucked hard one day.

by me :)

there's probably an employee shuttle
or depending on the kind of work you do a three mile jog with flat horizons and salty sea air sounds pretty comfy

I fucking hated this so bad.

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Man, Miller sure is giving those new African recruits the stink eye.

MGSV should absolutely have had a karaoke minigame that rewards you for performing well by increasing base morale

Kazuhira "If you fulton a nig he's going in the brig" Miller

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>most advanced Metal gea-
Oh sweetie thats wrong

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would've been cool especially since kiefer sutherland can sing

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I have a huge fetish for men with eye patches.
I dated Big Boss once who, as we know, lost his eye to Ocelot when he was being tortured and had to wear an eye patch. The first time we had sex, I asked him if I could take it off because it was kind of creeping me out. He said ok and took it off and then he started to suck me off, then out of nowhere I was hit with the urge to stick my dick in his eye-socket. So I did it and he started to scream and ran out of mother base and we never saw each other again. A couple years later I saw him at the new mother base and it was pretty awkward because I was standing behind him. When he got to the quartermaster he was talking really funny, slurring his words, kind of like a drunk. I felt really bad because I think when I skullfucked him I hit his brain.

>On patrol minding my own business
>Smell the faint scent of cigars
>ohno.jpg
>Boss gives me my 6th concussion this week
Guys how do I avoid becoming one of the Boss' 'training partners'?

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It needed Pooyan challenges, ghost hunter mode... fucking co-op.

Fuck now I can't unsee it, there should be a mod to fix this

Why not have an underwater base?
What’s the worst that could happen?

>youtube.com/watch?v=JjxhfpxryqQ
tfw PMCs are the bad guys but the game demands that i kidnap enemy combatants to build up my own

literally a leak

Not exactly that "advanced" when it gets chopped to pieces by a metal sheet wielded by a twink ninja, in a few minutes nonetheless too. it's legs were weak as fuck

They got fucked last time cuz everything was within walking distance

Still looks fucking stupid though and MGSV sucks shit.

>wanting to avoid Boss' selective specialized training
Quit slouching in your scouting and situational awareness practice and maybe he'll stop showing you why you need it.

>be on Outer Heaven
>the boss is returning to base and gets off the helicopter
>he looks at me dead in the eye
>he proceeds to take out a box with a picture of some cute blondie on it, gets inside of it, and begins walking in circles around me
>I try to say something, but all that comes out is "T-Thanks Boss"
>he puts the box away and immediately CC's me to the ground and everything went black
>wake up in the infirmary
>find out this is the fourth day in a row the boss has done this
>such is life on Outer Heaven

>He doesn't want to get the shit kicked out of him by Boss
You take your ass-whooping and thank Boss like a man you goddamn pussy.

Fuck you buddy

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youtube.com/watch?v=c3eZ4bhCyJM

Why can't we have these again? They were comfy as hell

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How have you been avoiding miller tho?

It's like you don't want to improve you goddamn pussy. Maybe if you were actually paying attention you wouldn't get your ass kicked everytime

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I-I'm new here, sir. Could you spot a greenhorn some advice?

Talk to him about hamburgers, works pretty good and gives you about a 50/50 chance of not pissing him off

You sure that'll work? Miller keeps lookijng at me like he wants to kill me. I don't think I'll last another week.

Why didn't they bring any sunscreen on this shithole?

>Haha, man, those chefs in the cafeteria need to work on their cooking, those burgers today were awful
>He silently walks away
>Pretty sure I saw him shed a tear
is Miller okay?

i mean everyone is recruited from sunscorched shitholes anyway so they probably dont mind

>The rooster could have been made better. But that's what this games always screamed 'This and that could have been better'

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That technology was lost to the 70s and all plans of it have been suppressed by... THE PATRIOTS

IN THE CIVIL WAR A LOTTA MEN DIED BUT THAT AIN'T ENOUGH THEY AIN'T SATISFIED

>boss is blasting "kids in america" again
how old does he think he is?

My roommates don't seem to be aware that I'm fairly fluent in Kikongo.

Guys where's the armory? I want another gun to shoot, um, bad guys. Yeah. Bad guys.

Good luck getting past D-Dog

I'll just throw him some peanut butter what's the worst that will happen?

What did Ocelot say about "shitting up the base's message board with your autistic conspiracy theories"?

That we should do it more often and with anime girl pictures?

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what do you guys think boss is doing on that quarantine platform? my buddy was sent there. I hope he's okay.

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I’m going to a foward operation base or something.
What’s it like?

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, ALL HANDS ON DECK WHAT IS THE THAT THING OH FUCK ITS COMING

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>be me
>shooting the shit with my bro on the command deck
>thinking about how good my job is
>suddenly I feel a sting in my neck
>pass out
>wake up two hundred feet in the air
>turn my neck to see one of boss' air balloons strapped to my harness
>icanseemybunkfromhere.webm
>it pops
>hurtling toward the ground at terminal velocity
>land head first on the steel floor, breaking every bone and bursting every blood vessel instantly
>my instincts kick in
>stand upright and whip out my gun
>raise my hand in salute and thank my boss for his kindness and generosity
>god I love my job

Why are the platforms so far away from each other?

Hey guys, anyone here speak French? I overheard Miller and Ocelot arguing about "les infantiles terribles"? They seemed real pissed about it

how about you shut the fuck up and start walking

Structural reasons, last one was too close together and went down too easy

the infertile terror- this base is a sausage festival
the infants are terrible- miller never did want to start a daycare for child soldiers

Can you people FUCKING CARPOOL BETWEEN PLATFORMS IN THE MORNING HOLY SHIT IT'S SUCH A WASTE FOR YOU TO ALL SEPARATELY DRIVE THE JEEPS TO GO TO THE SAME PLATFORM

the game doesnt feel 80s at all

About to go bully Quiet lads

Right guys, it's been fun but I gotta go now, boss has assigned me to go pick some more flowers. I don't know why he wants so many flowers, but as soon as a team gets back he sends them out again. Is someone actually paying us to do this shit or something?

he's making Miller a bouquet.

LAST WEEK I TOOK SOME IDIOT WHO SPOKE KIKONGO WITH ME AND HE THREW UP ALL OVER MY SEATS. I'M NOT LETTING ANY OF YOU FUCKS IN MY JEEP AFTER THAT

NOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA HEEEELLPP IT'S A NEGROOOOO

>Is someone actually paying us to do this shit or something?
ah a soviet i see, not to worry comrade you're in a PMC now
fortune and glory kid; fortune and glory.

>I was abducted by a psychopath with quite literal brain damage who put a balloon on my jeep and the first thing I see aftter getting out of my cell is him talking to himself for hours

i 100%'d this game years ago, is there any reason for me to reinstall this game this year?

Did you get to see the nuclear disarmament scene?

100% perfect stealth no kills run
i did something similar with san andreas back in the day

>Did you get to see the nuclear disarmament scene?
no i uninstalled it before that was announced, but i saw it on youtube.
>100% perfect stealth no kills run
i remember doing procure on site challenges, but those were personal challenges, sadly not actually designed into the game

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Uh, guys, why is Ocelot surrounding us? I thought we were meeting up to train?

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Make sure to bring your teeth when she slams your face against the bars, the dentist needs practice.
Also, the next shipment of novocaine is going to be late.

Damn i miss Sam Fisher.

He had a HF sword and is a god damn cybernetic super ninja
You're saying as if there is a metal gear he cant cut.
Facing Excelcus as solid snake or big boss would be hopeless

>patrolling mother base one night
>word of an intruder on the radio
>ohfuck
>suddenly grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground by the boss
>know it was the boss because it's the 15th time he's done this to me this week
>as I drift into unconsciousness feel a fulton device being attached to me
>wake up
>still on mother base, see boss, miller and ocelot wandering around
>but they've repainted the whole base and changed the emblem, plus built a new medical platform
>and sahelanthropus has disappeared
>okay, weird, but just get on with my job
>later another intruder, knocked out by the boss again
>wake up on mother base still
>but they've repainted it & changed the emblem again
>but definitely still the same, just saw boss going past with d-dog
>also that useless dickhead silent basilisk is still sitting in the waiting room
>but that new medical platform has gone, as has one of the intel platforms
>and sahelanthropus is back
Okay guys, this isn't funny any more. What the fuck is going on?

Guys where did you all go? Nothing but women here now.

>that person who's going around replacing all the sexy mags with kemoshota doujins
I'm gonna shove my leg up your asshole and make you eat shit you son of a bitch

>standing guard by a door
>hear one of the female soldiers patrolling round the corner snap to attention
>"good to see you boss!"
>suddenly hear sounds of a struggle
>sounds like she's finding it hard to breathe, like she's choking or something
>WTF
>then boss yells "spit it out!"
>sound of female soldier gasping and getting her breath back
>"thank you, boss!"
The dude's not right, I tell you.

>ywn be such an alpha that your female soldiers thank you for choking them on your dick

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Fuck you i'm envy

I cant imagine being able to stand guard for the rest of my shift with such a raging boner after hearing that, how'd you do it?

>playing Splinter Cell Conviction, my first in the series outside of ps2 demos.
>Sam keeps refering to someone as "Ana, Grim's Daughter"
>Get to the end and find out it's a fucking surname and Sam wasn't just referring to someones offspring very weirdly, her name's Grimsdottir

My fucking shock. Fuck France for being responsible for Ubisoft.

I always just thought it was to prevent the entire base getting taken out easily from a single nuke or something of lesser power

Because MGSVPP can only handle 12 soldiers in one location plus there is shitload assets to load.

>discover guards surrendered on the ground never get up unless found or an alarm sounds
>slowly subdue each guard take them to the LZ wake them up and have them surrender
>once i have them all call in the roflcopter to begin kicking them and loading them into the whirlybird
>guards popping in and out of existence as they are loaded in
bretty good feel regardless of hardware/engine limitations

I swear to god, I saw a wolf carrying a knife in its mouth yesterday

Thats a dog, you dummy.

You might be schizophrenic, man...

>today the Boss rode a container back to base again

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Yes but anachronistic technology is still not immersion breaking if you play it from a "this was kept a secret" angle, while anachronistic artstyle is a totally different matter because who's going to invent moeshit artstyles and only distribute it to secret militaries

Technology developed differently but irl people or artists that are referenced are always where the are supposed to be timeline wise. And the music tapes you find are supposed to give you that 80s feeling except it literally has a 90s song in it just because Kojima likes The Cure

My fucking sides.

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we blew the budget on the last one.
and soldier Lying Lion lost the source code to the mecha

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youtube.com/watch?v=MJRF8xGzvj4 bought this one just before Boss kidnapped me. Makes me really look forward to the next album.

MGSV would've throughly benefited from being more like Yakuza. It's not like it's completely serious no fun allowed already

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Can someone please tell me who keeps masturbating in the armoury? We've already developed sticky grenades, we don't need to resort to primitive measures like this anymore

>not having a cardboard scooter handy
It's like you don't even respect the boss my Afrikaans speaking friend.

Okay anyone else notice we've had a major increase of female staff in the infantry unit lately? And why the fuck do they get to deploy in bathing suits but I don't? Shits not fair.

I hate people who use this excuse for every single piece of media
LOL IT HAS MAGIC IN IT SO THAT MEANS EVERY ELEMENT OF THE STORY CAN BE RETARDED

Honestly it was probably just an oversight. They fucked up though, the tech is already better than mgs1. At least snaeg eater tried to look like it was in the past

i mean nobodies stopping you from dressing skimpily you just arent being ordered to

Quit oogling at the spongeslut you sexist soldiers!

Oh god! The sheep are on the loose! They've taken over the weapons platform again! How do they keep climbing out of their cages!?

so heres one lore nugget that bothers me
volgin goes back into his immortal coma after fighting venom snek
does he ever get to wake back up?
if not does anyone do anything with his unaging possibly renewable energy source sleepy body?
i mean dudes waiting for regular snek to show back up but that never happens in the other games

Ray and Arsenal are the most advanced metal gears.

I might be seeing things but I swear I saw famous game developer Hideo Kojima on mother base the other day and he has perfect stats

How is that vampire running over water?

Clancy > Hackjima
Clancy games > Kojimble shovelware

>Implying tom clancy has anything to do with the actual development of any of the tom clancy games

Doesn't matter
Clancy's realism worked better for the games than Kojima's surrealism even if Clancy wasn't on any SC writing staff. Kojima's Japanese take on war and ethics only lasted for three games when the Clancy mill worked way longer for Ubi.

I don't get why the kids left. Why couldn't they see that there's more to life than being a soldier? We took them round mother base and introduced them to a soldier who's a scientist, a soldier who's a doctor, a soldier who's a construction engineer, a solider who's a chef, a soldier who's a plumber, and a soldier who's an electrician. Where did they get the idea that being a soldier was the normal way to go about your life?

Debatable. Whilst Splinter cell has way better gameplay than metal gear solid, MGS's story is infinitely more memorable. Nobody discusses splinter cell story for a reason

initially trauma
then a magic boy with a robot told them to do things

>patrolling near the armory
>armory dudes invite me over for some brownies one of them made
>fuckyeah.casette
>eating some
>one of them starts laughing
>he came in the batter
I swear those armory fucks are weird. Thank fuck the doc said I was clean after the test I got after that.

D dog is a wolf! Youre all insane!

>>he came in the batter
Fucking hell, I'm surprised they've not been quarantined. A word of caution, don't use the guns with the red tape on them. They've done something to them that makes them fall apart when reloading.

I'm starting to think the boss is fucking with us
Last night he stood in front of me and my bros for three hours straight and had us salute him the entire time while he just smoked his metal cigar

Be quiet dumbass, didn't you hear what happened to the last guy who said that?

I'll give you a hint; Ocelot stopped ordering dog food months ago.

It's D-Dog not D-Wolf, you dolt.
You can even tell that he's clearly a dog from the softness of that paw.

Oh shit I think I saw boss with one of those when he was leaving earlier.

How come our mess hall only serve burgers nowadays? I want to eat something else once in a while.

When's the next time we get to wear the black uniforms with those red berets again? My mom really liked the picture I sent her of me wearing it

Flaming Buffalo must've had half the base in her by now, right?

I dunno but I'm getting sick and tired of having to change camo every week.

*ahem*
ATTENTION, THE BOSS IS NOT THE REAL BOSS!

>Sending pics to her mom.
FOUND THE CIPHER SPY!

I don't think the inside of my dormitory is vital base information
R-right?

Can confirm, I fucked her in my quarters last week.

Next time you get sent out, call in a resupply box. I'll hook you up. What color do you want your bathing suit in?

Ocelot will figure it out. To the interrogation room.

Do we will have those leopard skin ones?

FotNS would like to say some words to you
and those words just so happen to be "Omae wa moe shindeiru"

Ocelot came in some time ago and told us to get new ones before taking the rest of the stock for himself
I think he's building an elite catgirl unit

>tfw that was the last thing I heard before the boss knocked me out
I'm scared bros I don't want it to happen again.

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>another day guarding the central platform
>haven't seen that paw-pad loser in days
>feels good
>helicopter arrives blasting some japanese song, apparently it's from a popular show over there
>boss and d-dog hop out
>stand perfectly still and salute him, welcoming him back
>boss ignores me and pulls out a cigar and lights it with his iDroid
>herewegoagain.png
>continue my salute as he enjoys his cigar for 2 days straight
>my legs are feeling kind of weak
>boss finishes his cigar and knocks me to the floor
>as my consciousness fades I hear him take a shower and rip that paz poster off the wall again

It's masquerading as oil rig so you don't concentrate all the towers to a one spot.

You too huh? I think that cigar is frying his brain

H-How do I get in this unit? J-Just asking for a friend haha.

Okay but seriously. Where does Pequod actually go after dropping the boss off?

Mother base

out of the hot zone
recon team probably pick a safe spot to land so they dont have to fly back to base

No, I mean when he drops the boss off here at mother base. Where does he go? I've never seen the chopper actually land, or any of the pilots in the canteen. What gives?

>says the man who's been known to make orgasmic sounds while reloading his revolvers
shit keeps me up at night, jfc what is wrong with ocelot

What was the point of those grenades glued to it's legs?

Hey man I get beat up enough as it is, ask Ocelot yourself.

I would if I could fucking find him. Dude is literally nowhere to be seen. Weird.

>boss returns from some operations in Afganistan
>me, lonely worm, poison dragon and shadow hawk stand at attention and salute as he disembarks
>just B lines it to the portable shower unit
>still an honor just to be in his presence
>time for cleaning duty we all load up and start scurbbing the interior of Pequod making sure not to disturb his photos and momentoes
>find an unmarked audio tape
>jackpot! who knows what cool tracks the boss listens to
>me and the guys agree to meet up later to listen to it
>eagerly await as shadow hawk is the only one with a music player for it.
>press play
>this is it.
>it's just silence before a cacophany of farts, whimpered cries and noises of a man experiencing explosive diarrhea.
>WTF boss!?

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So, what does the boaster perk do exactly?

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The whole helicopter and pilot retreat into the Boss' subconcious like "Paz".
The Boss hasn't actually left base in months, he just sits on the landing pad making helicopter noises and then fires off his guns for a while before "returning".

I'm really fucking good at everything believe me.

its fakes stats just like how im a super good artist that'll btfo da vinci caparonni out the water with his moan a lisa

iirc it makes a stat looks higher than it is. It could say S+ but it's actually an A. It's a skill made to fuck with the player.

because idiots (i.e. the mgs fanbase) are susceptible to misinformation

>stop by R&D to grab some supplies
>R&D boys working on pic related
>"Yo does that thing even work?"
>one guy who barely speaks english chimes in
"Yes! Is good! Many scopes means very accurate!"
>offered to take it out for a spin for shits and giggles
>have massive difficulty aiming the damn thing
>pull the trigger
>wall has one, singular bullet hole where all the buck is stacked on top of one another
>everyone cheering and laughing
I love this place

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>Clancy's realism
lol

>standing

How the hell can they make this stuff?

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>work in R&D
>Boss orders a portable wormhole device
>contract some of the smartest minds on the planet
>hundreds of thousands of man hours, billions of dollars
>finally somehow manage it
>Boss proceeds to never use it because its "too expensive"

>on the edge

How do you fuckers not see that isn't a dog but a WOLF

>of the crater

what asshole thought it was a good idea to get 20 of us killed in deployment to collect 6 flowers and an oil drum?

what do you mean?

Probably the boss, feels good not being an infantry unit cuck.

koi no yokushiryoku
hora GAME no hajimari

What was the point of building this shit?

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Boss is talking to himself over at the infirmary again.

huey probably planned on killing us himself this time

Okay guys I have a theory, what if there is more than one mother base? What if there is more than one big boss and they're all acting as dopplegangers for the real boss? I've been hearing some weird shit lately. One guy in the infantry unit claims he was on another mother base run by a guy who looks just like the boss and he's not the only one. More and more staff are showing up every other week saying the same thing but miller and ocelot keep dismissing it. I'm telling you guys something is going on.

To leave you disappointed like everyt other thing from V.

You know, it was a letdown. But overall, it hadl some pretty memorable moments. I think we can all agree that it would've been far more polished had Kojima had an infinite amount of time and budget to work with.

Oh uh I mean ahem hey boSS WHEN YOU BRINGING US MORE MEDICINAL HEEERBS BRO! XD dude...

Ever heard of Ever 17?
That's why.

Something is fishy around here, and it isn't just Jumping Butterfly's bunk. I woulda said it was survivors from the O.G. base, but why would Miller dismiss it all, instead of acknowleding they're a survivor

Ok which one of you assholes keeps crashing all the jeeps into our AA turrets? Those things aren't cheap to replace you know and miller keeps chewing my ass off cause of it.

doesn't have nukes, not a metal gear

Lupin the third is so overlooked both in animation and how fun some of the fables/legends/treasures they make the heists around

imagine how much things could have been in the game:
motherbase with full interior
sandbox map with full MGS2 interior instead of all outpost
more weapon/vehicle (yes im still salty we dont get that fucking bike)
even more polished missiones
all 4 chapter with chapter 1's quality
dropin/dropout coop
if only kojima have 1-2 more years the game would be epic, but him getting fired is totally justifiable. konami spend millions building his engine and his game for like 6 years, which I imagine he ask for even more time&money.

On your knees Huey. Don't make me waste bullets on your robot legs.

Little off topic but if you havent watched GreatM8's latest Quiet SFM porn you should go do that right now.

BOSS THERE'S A FUCKING CORPSE IN THE AI POD WHAT THE FUCK

lol fag deal with it
get better turrets the current ones look gay anyway

Can someone explain this cutscene? Why would he smear ashes on his face like that? What was that talk about diamonds?

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Guys when the fuck are we gonna invest in cargo planes? I'm sick and tired of getting crammed into a chopper with a bunch of former soviets who smell like alcohol and gun powder.

So, um..remember when that little blonde kid stole our Metal Gear? Are we gonna do something about that, or...

what does sfm means

I tried bringing it up to the boss but he just knocked me out. It's better you just leave it alone.

there are some new thing, you can make diamonds from dead ashes, using big pressure

so big boss made diamonds and after that everyone have little diamonds on their diamond dogs uniform

Source film maker.

Anyone notice that every female soldier gets to have a direct contract? I think all of them arrived as pows.

What happens when they run out of ashes for the number of new recruits as mother base & the FOBs expand?
>ocelet, send a C-rank team off to do a S-rank mission will you, we need more corpsediamonds for our uniforms

Don't you get it, Huey. The Boss was saying we are ALL diamond dogs.

Why is Quiet so angry all the time? She doesn't even nod when you talk to her and she'll just randomly kick the shit out of people when she feels like leaving her cage. I've seen her just walk through the bars.

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What did you expect? He put his heart and soul into those burgers. Go apologize to him immediately!

Sanitation here.
Yeah we tried to remove the body a while ago but Huey started crying and calling us monsters.

I walked in on Miller and Ocelot in states of disarray last Tueaday. Left the room immediately. I think my next shift was mysteriously rescheduled to night and Ocelot has been giving me side-eyed looks in morning training. I'm literally fearing for my liferight now, what the hell should i do guys?

HE HAS NO STYLE

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I heard she has autism, some of the guys said they saw her playing with legos in her cell.

Based

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TF2's New Zealand

>be on support platform
>walk to the shower
>see that boss just arrived
>oh cool, I'll go salute
>beelines to the portable shower as if the whole world was after him
>sprints out of it even faster after 3 seconds
>jumps into the heli and flies away before I even get close
>turn right around and walk all the way to the command platform to shower
I don't even want to know what the hell happened in there.

Me and the lads are gonna go fuck around with Huey
Who wants to join?

he doesn't like nigers? never heard about this

grief
did you not hear the soldiers (that you must kill) humming the peace walker theme tune?
did you not "feel it too"?

why do the soviets and african mercs have so many women enslaved? What are white women even doing in slavland? Are they journalists? Why does the Boss manage to persuade them to stay with us? Why do they all want to slobber on his meatcigar and never even say hi to me on patrols

Cause you touch yourself at night.

I chat up cuties from medical every time I'm on patrol there. You just gotta be yourself my dude.

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whats wrong with my burgers huh?

They are lacking in what is most essential to the soul, elder in charge. Your flavoring is lacking, and the subtle nuance of jerky taste a wolbachia parasite brings is missing entirely.

Redo it, elder Miller

Because the narrative is all about how stories becomes legends which becomes myths.

Can you put one in the glory hole stall?

C U T C O N T E N T

I am sure that adding more additives should do the trick besides I dont want the WHO on my ass like a fly on a niggers butt.

Boss found himself in a weird place this time

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I've been thinking lately. You used to be able to chat with the Boss in russian no problem. The man was virtually native to it. But now he has no idea whatsoever. I have talked to the medical staff and they told me it's a memory loss or something. But how do you 100% forget a language but not anything else? I tried to talk about it with Miller and I was put to scrub brig shitholes for 2 months for that.

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was there anything redeeming about this?

nah, just a simple wave defense game with minor kino single player cutscenes

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The whole invasion thing would have been actually fun if it were on land... Exact same reason I didn't like mgs2

That fat fucking rock is apparently pushing on the language bit of the brain; one of the S+ medics told me.

>Boss tests his new tazer hand on you
>again

Konami wanted this to be playable on PS360.

A-At least he didn't test his dildo hand on you.

youtube.com/watch?v=9vupRn3PJvg

That style of anime has been around since 1973. Zero just suppressed the distribution of it with the power he'd amassed in the Patriots.

whens episode 51 gonna drop bros?

>They got the sights dialed to max
Wh-what? Why would they do that?

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>had to watch the boss shower with quiet again
while on guard duty
>tfw still haven't been able to get with any of the female staff since I got here
It's not fair bros, he can't keep getting away with this.

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>Listening to Quiet loop "She Blinded me With Science" for the millionth time

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>Guard Quiet's cell
>Looping "She Blinded me With Science
>Boss comes in with Pequod
>Blasting "She Blinded me with Science"
>Check Huey
>Listening to "She Blinded me With Science" as he builds the Battle Gears
>Go into Miller's area
>He's... grilling... burgers...?
>While listening to "She Blinded me with Science"

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>tfw quiet grabbed my cock through the bars the other day out of no where while I was on guard duty
>tfw she's been cock teasing me ever since
Fucking bitch needs to stop this otherwise I'm going to tell miller.

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>She did what through the bars?
>She...
>Wait, shut up. Bars, bars. People buy burgers in bars right? That's a whole market we're not benefiting from!

Kek.

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When are we getting food that isn't burgers? I miss the taste of other things.

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You can always request to go on a mission and eat a snake or a zebra along the way. Boss is surprisingly very pissy about the ones on the animal conservation platform but the ones in the wild are fair game.

>he doesn't have a hook up with the guys over at the shipping docks on the support platform
Plebs.

every game post 2 are a simulation of future and past events
it's why 4 and PW have UI glitches and "story and continuity errors" and why V's moon is always full

probably embezzling money from his inflated metal gear rnd budget

Why do we still use helicopters, when we now have wormholes?

>due to the boss's constant use of tranquilliser guns half the staff have become addicted to the drug and are unable to sleep without a dose

At least the food is good

Man this fight was so fucking hype.
I fucking loved the game up to that point. It should've ended right after that fight..
Would've probably been my favorite game of all time.

>ask Seething Caramel if he thinks Boss will do something about the kids stealing our robot
>starts screaming nonsense about "silent hills" and "the last chapter" before going hide in the barracks again
why do I even try to talk to this guy anymore?

I used to have a screenshot where he admitted that he acted autistic as a way to cope with the pain of being let down by his favorite dev. Their tears were so delicious that E3. We all laughed at him.

THEY INTEGRATE
DEMONSTRATE
SHOUT AND SING
FOR MR. KING

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You've seen that ghost motherfucker too?

Post it or it didn't happen

IT'S POETRY IN MOTION!

>silent basilisk STILL fucking sitting in the waiting room
Why can't boss just let him go?

Fob guards do all kind of crazy tricks. The former screenshot was before they got camo.

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MEEEEOOOOW

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>Boss sends a bunch of us out for contract work
>Come back to a fuckton of my coworkers executed and cremated
Hey, I know Huey was behind it but wasn't it a bit too convenient? It's like he knew to send out all of us for direct contracts before the outbreak happened...

GUYS HELP I FELL THROUGH A PORTAL AND THERES ZOMBIES AND I CAN'T BREATHE

Speaking of zombies, those "veterans" that the boss keeps bringing back to base... don't they seem a little bit strange to anyone else? They keep flailing their arms around like crazy. Just moving normally they shamble and swing their arms.

You should play Love Deterrence when they're around, they get Nam flashbacks or something LOL

Good now I can finally masturbate in peace.

heh

Which one of you fucks put one of Hideo's aliases as "God" in the Intel Team files?
I have to organize this shit whenever Boss brings someone back, knock it off.

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Uhm, guys, I was sorting out intel files earlier and found some photos of The Boss, what the fuck is this?

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Uh... guys, about those burgers. I found a cassette in chopper with miller and that old guy talking about them. I think we should stop eating the burgers, fuck I think I'm gonna be sick.

It was a different time.

Hey, the r&d team worked hard on those!
Y'know, the same ones who work on drugs and bioengineering. Enjoy your test tube burger though.

I know everything miller, you're sick.

>be on a mission
>get in contact with the local resistance
>negotiations go down south fast, is about to escalate into violence
>toss on the table our team's burger rations
>they try it out, likes them a lot
>alliance is forged
>mission is a great success
>get back to the outer hea/v/en with 12 new comrades
Get lost, those burgers are the best thing since cardboard boxes.

Anyone else sick of Huey's shit? If D.Dog is a diamond dog then how the fuck can he be a wolf?

Fuck off miller, wait till I tell ocelot about this.

I know that we made this for our soldiers' leisure, but please stop flooding the base message board with shitposts and conspiracies.

only had the name stuck onto it for marketing purposes

The helicopter hanger is in the lower decks

Wouldn't a miniature Metal gear be a perfect platform to mass produce?

Guys, is it just me or is the cafeteria starting to look more like a burger joint?
And who greenlit this menu?

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Is there any mods that add this into the game?

Guys please tell me I'm not the only one who saw that white haired cyborg ninja.

BURGS THAT GRILL, WOULD YOU FEED THEM TO ME?

>Armored Rat complains about menu during lunch time
>Miller passes by right as he says the burgers suck
>gets assigned to brig duty for three months
Gee, I sure wonder who compiled the menu

WITH YOUR BUNS SO STALE
AND SHAKES TO DRINK

is Caramel still hanging around here?

the fries never never decompose

THE FRIES NEVER BURN
CAN'T WASH THIS TASTE OFF OUR MOUTHS
LET THE BEEF FEED THEM ALL
IT'S JUST THE MEATS TO AN END

>Bake The Boss a cake for his birthday
>Miller insists we serve burgers with it

I agree whit you but metal gear is not about pratical war weapons its about THE ULTIMATE WEAPON