Predict the jokes

Dude, there's a dragon to beat and deep lore now.

>HE WAS DESTROYED!
>Creeper farts sulphur dust

>good guys win
>cliche dance party at the end
>steve is “drunk” from potions
>*doorbell rings*
>pizzas here guys!
>joke about how the pizza is square instead of circle cause there are no circles in mineycrafta
>skeleton does fortnite dance on top of a crafting table
>zombie dancing too close to furnace, catches on fire
>creeper loses a game of cards and explodes

>joke about how the pizza is square instead of circle
I 100% buy they will do that.

>Steve gets kicked in the balls
>"OW MY BALLS!"
>a Zombie tells a Skeleton: "What's a ball?"
>the skeleton shrugs

>Dude, there's a dragon to beat and deep lore now.
Shitty content no one has ever heard of, from after everyone dropped the game won't get in. Just like they don't reference Neelix in the JJ Abrams Star Trek movies

>He was destroyed

>dude who builds sheds in the wild with clay and leaves
I would un-ironically watch a feature length Primitive Technology episode.

Watch them pull a 180 and make this shrek but minecraft.

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>characters are talking
>”Rome wasn’t built in a day”
>”it was built in 5 minutes!”
>Steve is in school
>breaks a hole in the wall to the cafeteria and steals cookies

youtu.be/N9KGfgg-d8s

Did you hear about the user who masturbated all day?
IT EXPLODED!

You know Minecraft still sells and is still played, right? Even if noone knew about this it's good material for a movie.

I heard it was a thing made by the mom of an autistic kid who could only bond with her son through Minecraft.

I mean, yeah, that's the MO for most of these "impossible to written" properties. Well, that and "character visits our world so we can film it down the streets"

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Well I already know they'll never pull a 360

Please be live action

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>this summer..
>everyone's favorite miner
>is coming to the big screen
>WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

>OW MY CUBES

kek

I figure since Minecraft really doesn't have a great deal of content there just weren't enough clean jokes to fill a book so they padded it with non jokes.

underrated

Isn’t Steve Carrel playing Steve

No, it's this

whats the top one from?

Who even plays minecraft? Kids cant still be in to this shit after so long and I can't imagine they get many new players

*punches tree*
ow this hurts!

The zoomers version of detective pikachu

Hop

>character visits our world so we can film it down the streets
That's what Sony wanted to make the mlp movie but Hasbro told them to Fuck off and went to another studio.
What we got was still pretty disappointing though.

>character is on a long-winded monologue
>creeper gets close
>starts hissing
"Don't interrupt. "
>creeper stops

Apparently she's still writing. She released this a couple of months ago.

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the one where they were human? or some other one

Holy crap Lois it's Steve Minecraft!

The hero is sucking underwater levers made out of chocolate.

>coming this summer
>a real block buster!

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This should have released six years ago. Minecraft is simply irrelevant now, can't wait for the Fortnite movie in 2025.

Isn't Minecraft dead? Especially by 2022.

There are only a three telltale series worth plying
TWD Season One
Tales from the Borderlands
Wolf Among Us

I am willing to bet all my worldly possessions that they use this line

Yes

Some other one. The human ones were low budget direct to DVD.
The proper pony movies main problems were caused by the movie being way too short for what it was trying to do, some of the main characters didnt even get to do anything. guess they had to keep it low for children's attention spans.
The music was God tier though, I will never not be salty that they didn't get a best original song nomination at the academy awards.

What about poker night at the inventory

still gets bought and played by kiddies but its definitely not as popular as it used to be. they ruined it with all the extra shit like potions and an endgame, and wrecking the world gen. should have focused on what people actually liked about it, ie: exploration and building. make the world gen more interesting and more tools for building

Steve looks directly into the camera and launches into a sombre 3 minute monologue condemning Notch's remarks on social media.

fair, the tv eps were always pretty tight and the music was generally pretty great

OWWW MY ENDER PEARLS

Steve looks directly at the camera and laughs at banjo fags

How could a movie based on Minecraft possibly be good? Tell me your ideas. Would it need to be fully CG, CG character in the real world, or presented with ingame graphics? Would the world need to function as it does ingame, expand greatly upon it, take a brand new approach with the same concept, or be fully realistic with just a vague few Minecraft references like the Super Mario Bros Movie?

I'm not a pony guy, but animated movies haven't won an academy award that isn't "best animated feature" since the category was introduced, before that Disney movies would stomp all over the competition year after year

I always found that part a little bit odd, I mean, it's great that they're being honest about Armenian Genocide, but why is that in a Minecraft movie?

>alarm clock goes off
>steve springs out of bed
>”oh no! I’m gonna be late for work”
>theatre is already laughing
>runs to local village
>villager: Steve, you’re fired
>theatre laughing.mpeg
>steve goes home
>creeper asks steve “why the long face”
>steve punches him
>theatre is on the brink of collapse from laughter

If you're into poker, sure

>low effort cash in

They'll just retell the original Lego Movie. They'll eventually come out of the PC, realize they're characters in a video game, and the dad/big brother/elder figure will be angry at his son/little brother/youth figure for messing around in his perfect autistic building world.

The villain will be herobrine

DON'T MINE AT NIGHT

what a great start

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Entered this thread hoping that this would be posted. Thanks user.

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>implying it won't be some Trump stand-in

The real joke is that some people will think you HAVE to watch it to be a real gamer/designer/critic/crafter/parent/whatever.

My sperm should bond with one of her eggs and make a (possibly!) not retarded child.

it also doesn't help that they went through like 8 directors already

one of which was mac from always sunny for some fucking reason

kek is this the official Minecraft wiki

>stinky steve on the big screen

>he was destroyed x2 combo

>“the story of a teenage girl and her unlikely group of adventurers. After the malevolent Ender Dragon sets out on a path of destruction, they must save their beautiful, blocky Overworld.”

Why not both

>mlp fim started 9 years ago
>barneyfag is probably still around and this very picture will summons him.

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Le epic randum lul

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based

>flat earth joke
>"don't be such a square!" "WERE ALL SQUARE"
>AC/DC TNT scene
>Tunnel collapse w/ minecart getaway
>They have to build a house for the night, but the builder has the same creative deficit as the MC from the Lego movie so it looks like shit
>punches tree "Ow..."
>enemy sneaks up behind someone "he's right behind me isnt he?"

The dragon is more like an optional endgame than anything, afaik not going to the enderworld isn't really that big of a deal and It is hard as hell to get there.At least when I tried several years ago.

So does Minecraft stave play a mentor role or are they just going to pretend the series didn't start with a white male.

That movie wasn’t bad tho.

I found Batman better than i expected, S2 in particular

Steve isn't even the default character anymore

Shitting on Notch due to him being problematic despite Minecraft being his creation

>afaik not going to the enderworld isn't really that big of a deal
Maybe if you don’t like FLYING.

>they ruined it with all the extra shit like potions and an endgame
Why do people always bitch about the End?
Why do people bitch about the End while simultaneously praising exploration aspects?
The endgame has always been there anyway, it just changed from diamond armour to enchanted diamond armour. It's not like beating the dragon stops you from continuing.

Dont dig straight down

Forgot to mention the GotG game too.
Honestly, the biggest let down was probably TWD after S1, not all TT games are peculiar but they're usually good enough (can't speak for Borderlands and Minecraft because i dont care for them)

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They will have some throw away line about not needing a creator.

"WOW you BLOCKHEAD"

>Mlp movie with real life environments and humans
Hasbro probably knew what could go wrong if It happened. And I am not talking about the movie being bad.

fuck

They actually introduced the category specifically because they were butthurt about Disney.

lever blowjob

If they used this, I wouldn't be able to tell whether it's ironic, unironic, ironically unironic, unironically ironic, ironically ironic or unironically unironic.

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Holy fuck, this is real. I'd say he got off pretty easy.

nah man, i played since like alpha 1.2. my best experiences of the game are still from back then - just dropping into a strange world and looking around for cool places. build a house, wait out the night, spend the next day exploring around for new cool places.
i really didnt need anything else to enjoy it.

>Sony executives harvesting the fuck out of the jokes ITT right now

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I'm predicting they're gonna go for a Jumanji-style premise.

>Little Boy gets a new special controller from a strange shop
>He's playing Minecraft and but then his sister says its her turn to play which he doesn't agree to
>They wrestle over the controller and then one of them accidentally presses a mysterious "ENTER" button
>They're now in Minecraft and they have to beat the Ender Dragon to get out.
>They learn to work together and learn the meaning of FAMILY thru an epic game adventure

if only

also the end isnt exploration, its boring as shit and you only do it to fight the dragon. theres nothing else there.
desu if they hadnt made the worldgen so boring i probably wouldnt care, but the two came hand in hand, so it represents the fall of the good era in my mind

yeah season 2 of batman was great
especially how it was possible to make joker into a vigilante and batmans friend, thats something I wish was delved deeper into and more often

Stinky pete cameo and the whole room burst into maddening clapping for 8 hours.

The screenplay has been written for a while.

FUCK YOU, YOU BAN EVADING ARGENTINIAN
etc.

>died of suicide

The fuck is that wording?

>Steve
>white
Maybe Med, but not white.

>the yogcast makes a cameo
>DIGGY DIGGY HOLE xD

do you have a source, i want to know more

So what you are saying is banjo is getting into smash
Microsoft won't allow steve and gamers won't tolerate the new default model whatever it may be.

Steve doesn't really have a character so I would be fine if they replaced him.

You heard about that minecraft movie director?
He died of suicide!

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

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>So what you are saying is

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I think it's from the leaked Sony emails, I will have a look.

100 percent expecting a "This summers BOX office smash.. " pun in the trailers.

It's a 90 minutes let's play with the commentary of an autistic girl

wikileaks.org/sony/emails/emailid/83298
Second line from the bottom.

>So Jake, did you like Minecraft?

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Those emails are full of gold, that entire company is a joke.

Those will 100% be in

its either going to be one of 3 things
>something like what said where real life person goes to game land
>something like where game comes to real life
>something similar to the telltale game where they fill it completely full of OC 'minecraft' stuff which are not actually in the game at all

Yeah, it kinda sucks, though I really don't know if a timeline where it isn't category would be even better, at the very least, having it gives us a more diverse range of movies to win, and if it didn't exist, it'd just be a disney circle jerk

>Yea Forums humour

kek

>trailer opens with an unfunny scene of Steve doing something.
>opening scene ends, trailer cuts to black to show the “Minecraft the movie” title.
>title fades away and the trailer’s backing music starts playing
>”CREEPER? AAWW MAAN”

>Missing SBCG4AP
You know YOU can play too, right?

As famous as they were back in the day, the yogscast probably aren’t appropriate for this films target audience.

>EXPLODING this summer into a cinema near you

I've read the story details, movie is going to be bad. Not as bad as Monster Hunter, but bad.
It's the typical "Bunch of real-world people get sucked into other world" thing, only now it's with a bunch of kids.

Imagine Adaptation but with Minecraft.

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Fuck off, the movie was unironically good.

The numbers have gone down over the years but it still has a good user base.
Funnily enough the user base doesn't seem to be primarily children anymore either since they all grew up.

>announced being directed by Rob McElhenney (Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
>morbid curiosity turns into genuine interest
>suddenly it's an entire team and he's not one of them
well I can save my money at least, damn

>scene fades in to show Steve, tired and bored, in a mine
>he pulls out his music player, modelled on the old blocky Walkmans
>you see him scroll through some songs
>he stops, smiling, and taps the player, the music plays in the background
>re-energised, Steve starts mining
>the music?
>SO WE BACK IN THE MINE

I love cheeselegs and her tiarawhy animation

It had good music and good animation but the plot was lacking, characters jobed and we never got the swordfight the trailers promised us.

I don't care what anyone says, that's adorable and I love her for it.

It'll be a psychological horror movie about the yogscast becoming more and more disillusioned making minecraft videos for children

FuturisticHub (LifeInATent) is a faggot.

That's the joke.

Sony executives are out of touch

Didn't see that one. Kek

That story with the parasites?

DON'T
MINE
AT NIGHT
Cover by Despacito

That I would pay to watch. What movies are like that?

>we can't just "x"
>whisper voice with close up of steve's mouth: "you underestimate me"
>builds thing required to X in a 10 second montage
>everyone looks flustered

No, the one with the ghost orchid, man.
Probably the ideal route that they could take (which they won't).

based

>Movie is actually just a dramatisation of 2b2t

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>it's just an hour and a half of someone trying to leave spawn while the chat spams nigger

>filmed with the real rage screams of Hispanic children

>No, the one with the ghost orchid, man.
I don't know that one.
>Probably the ideal route that they could take (which they won't).
The ghost or the parasites?

>"Don't be such a creeper"
>"yeah, he wouldnt leave me alone, so I blocked him"
>"aww, my phone's bricked"

I whacked it to minecraft for you

Well user maybe he commited suicide and didnt die.

>tfw kissless virgin
>no firstborn to name Loaderbot

surprised there aren't more porn mods for minecraft t b h

Probably because it looks like shit to anyone who isn't a colossal sperg.

that didn't stop the sonic fandom, or mlp, or....

youtu.be/OosGqC3b9vo

The movie is already out.

>mlp porn doesn't look good
Even if you don't like the pony porn there is plenty of great humanized stuff.

It could be good if it were made in the same vein as Minecraft Noob Adventures

They added portals that spawn after killing the dragon years ago. There are these big towers with clam monsters that make you float now.

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telltale games to me are meh at most, but this guy

theres just something about his voice that makes me irrationally mad

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That's more depressing than it should be

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>this summer...
>everyone's favorite Minecrafter...
>is coming to the big screen
>*cuts to Ender Dragon played by Adam Sandler* What a bummer!
>*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
>*Steve wakes up giddily for the morning as his stacks of diamonds are carried off in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear it, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he is about to read "Diamonds stolen", remember to take up Alex, who's alarm is the local AM radio
>"in other news, diamonds have been-"
>Steve, voiced by Steve Buscemi, "It's me! Your boyfriend, Steve! We need to get an early start on our day if we're to get anything done!"
>Alex, voiced by a girly-voiced David Spade, "Just get out of my way shrimp!"
>Steve: "But together we are the Minecrafters! Without you I'm just... a miner."
>Two Minecrafters will find themselves
>Steve: "What? Our diamonds are missing?"
>Alex: "Oh really?"
>and maybe their diamonds
>Steve: "And the Ender Dragon took them?"
>Alex: "Wow, really?"
>but first they have to find the Ender Dragon
>Ender Dragon: "I know what girls like!"
>presents a bunch of diamonds to his poorly-made fake girlfriend "Diamonds!", he murmurs to himself
>*the fake girlfriend breaks a support and sends a wooden beam into his balls*
>"AAAAAA My ender pearls!"
>who might need to be saved from himself
>his fake girlfriend's voice murmured by him to sound like, who do you fucking think, it's Brie Larson "I keep inviting you to go mining, animal breeding, TNT exploding, and even cart riding AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME!"
>this summer is going to be
>*montage of slapstick*
>*The Ender Dragon twerking*
>Steve: "aaawkward"
>this summer is going to be...
>*montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*
>*A Creeper doing a headspin*
>"LIIIIT"
>this summer is going to be!
>*montage of every time they say "Mine" or "Craft" in the movie*
>Mine-blowing
>Minecraft: The Movie

What if Tarkovsky was raised from the dead and forced to direct Minecraft?

Full of religious allusions

Did you hear about that user who didn't reply within 10 seconds?
He exploded.

Where are we headed.

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A 2 minute hypnotic shot of a floating block, referencing the unexplainable in life.

Aren't tale tell games just point and click adventure games with less puzzles and more choice?

Protagonist is a 20 something that's down on his luck and everyone calls him a blockhead. Goes off to prove himself, meets token female, ending revolves around him riding back to town on the nether dragon and no one calling him a blockhead anymore.

Characters breaking the forth wall somehow making an allusion to cubes

That whole book was outdone by single anonymous poster:

>Tarkovsky
Who?

>ctrl+f "kirsten fucking schaal"
>0 result
Disappointed.

That actually kinda got me

Lego movie was literally a Christ parable, featuring Gnosis and a depiction of a flawed monotheistic God. It was really good

>"i beat you, fair and SQUARE"
>"time to kick it up a NOTCH"
>someone breaking the fourth wall but the angle changes and he's just griefing the wall of a house

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This is a good one

>He was destroyed

>Round breasts.
UNACCEPTABLE!

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cringe.

>TNT hidden behind a block of diamond

How long did that work anyway?
Was that already "fixed" in Alpha or later?

If you are not trolling to annoy some spergs like me, then he was a famous Russian director. He directed Stalker
, and yes the game is based on this film
Steve’s monologue scene on the artistic meaning and worth of his architectural works, themes around him building to represent man’s relationship to god. Whole film is in black and white, only to show final coloured shots of his buildings.

Chocolate lever, very tasty

oh no

>She killed herself on the third anniversary of her mother's death
That's a tragedy.

>he was a famous Russian director. He directed Stalker
Okay, thanks. Honestly didn't know him, or why he would be appropriate.

they'll 100% use that

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Ya know?

I would like that. After seeing isekai story after isekai story, i wouldnt mind to see an ACTUAL isekai story.

And yeah, playmobil is the same shit, but that ones playmobil, this one is minecraft

One wants to ape the lego movie, this one just wants to make bank on MCs already existent fame, at least before fortnite becomes a true household name.

Well I am glad at least one more person knows about him.

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It's going to be a typical "world invasion" movie like all the other odd video game and toy movies so far. Steve will come into our world and recruit some hapless human to help him fight off the ender dragon or something. Or a human will be the fish out of water in minecraft world and some evil human is trying to steal resources from the infinite world. shit like that. pitbull and ja rule will do the sound track. it'll sell enough to make more toys and make 13 year olds happy.

The trailer is gonna have gangstas paradise

>sassy black side character
>shut the block up

>"I'm gonna knock your block off!"

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>this is what autists actually believe

>what the BRICK

I'd hope to see references to actual gameplay, like falling into nothingness when looking for diamonds at the bottom of the map in the days when there was no bedrock, yet.

I understand they're making a third one.

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There's apparently a movie where Jim Carrey is a depressed Sesame Street style children's show actor.

Know the name?

Aren't they cashing in on this a little late

Are movies today done from some finite set of templates just with different actors and slightly different setting or what's going on?

Russian Christopher Nolan.

I wish the zone was real. I wish the movie had showed some goddamn anomalies.

The Yogscast was decent until about 2014.
Simply stopped watching around that time, since quality was taking a nosedive. What has been happening with them since then?

Have they also started with garbage like face cams and the likes?

Can literal statements of cause and effect be considered jokes?

>I wish the movie had showed some goddamn anomalies.
That'd defeat the entire character arc of the scientist

"MINE YOUR OWN BUSINESS"

There are, but they are subtle. When Writer walks away from that building fog comes up in the background. The birds appearing at random at the meatgrinder, and the rain in the building toward the end and the dog (who appears out of nowhere) are also examples.

They are just out of sight of the characters.

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>Did you hear about that country that was run by a caste of politicians?
>Yeah, they ended up electing a clown to show them.

No, that's no joke, I guess.

kaboom

I'd unironically elect clowns until the caste of politicians proved they were worthy of anything but being invaded by clowns.
I want a clownocracy to destroy the kakistocracy.

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I guess you're right.
>fag goes into the zone carrying a fucking nuke while being shot at the cordon.
Balls of steel.

I didn't consider those as anomalies at the time, I was expecting pillars of fire or the bolt falling faster at the very least. Beautiful movie either way, full of scenery porn, specially the dry tunnel.

Why can I see this become a reality?

>this is the designer fetish

>until the caste of politicians proved they were worthy of anything but being invaded by clowns
Not going to happen. Remember, those people would be incapable of pulling anything off in real life.
Trump is unfortunately not exactly a polar opposite to that (he is a fucking faggot), but at least he is not "one of them".
At times I wonder, if the media even realize that's one major reason why people voted for him.
Or maybe they don't want to realize it, since that would undermine their own position as well.

Clowns are perfectly fine, but they should at be able to do single digit multiplication without needing a calculator. or at least they should be self-aware enough to realize they need one.

A character puts stuff on a table and it magically turns into the intended object.
Ex. Puts 2 sticks and 3 rocks on the table and a pickaxe magically appears

Did they look at their game's age rating?
What 16+ year-old laughs at garbage like that, leave alone would pay for it?

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Cringe
Go back to /x/

I know that. That's why I want my Clownocracy, at least clowns don't plan a new invasion when they get laughed at. Clowns are often quite intelligent, able to think on their feet, and at least show some sort of organization skills.

>since that would undermine their own position as well.
user the media is owned by republicans. rupert murdock and jeff bezos sure as hell aren't lefty.

I'm not talking Democrats vs. Republicans.
I'm talking The People vs. The Politicians.

The media isn't really controlling the politicians for the people like it is supposed to ("Fourth Estate"). It is highly dependent on the politicians' favor.

Bashurverse the pedo gets a reference

Would watch

They stream a lot now, and the main channel is just alternating GTA or ttt. They’ve started a new minecraft series on it recently. The other channels are where the general minecraft series and other games are.
I watch them mainly for the banter between them rather than anything else. It’s also nice to watch them get smashed while playing shit on twitch at Christmas.

Yeah I'd also be able to think on my feet is my soles had the same surface area as the average '99 Honda Civic

He was destroyed!

Hey here's a fun challenge
- build a nether portal
- bring nothing (that you want to keep) (pickaxe of any kind optional)
- inside the nether, break down the entire portal (don't just put it out, remove it completely)
- throw your entire inventory in the lava
What would you do from there?
For bonus points, use some sick mad hack skills to set your respawn point in the nether.

Less puzzle and 0 choice.
All choices have literally the same outcome.

Yes, pretty much

Unironicaly yes. You can know how a movie will play by watching the first 5 minutes.

Wrong

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Now I want to kill myself

The trailer song will be It's Hip to Be Square

>trailer will have a song too old for its audience like 'hip to be square'

Was the Game of Thrones one bad?

so? is that just more flavour to the dragon fight or is it actually something interesting? more locations to explore?
mods are the only reason this game is still alive, the base game is boring as fuck these days

>ow, my pixels!

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Today I will remind them
youtu.be/3KoZ1leplTE
They removed the BJ scene though

>someone wanted to see detective pikachu with me
>figure 'why not, I don't see him very often anyway' and come along
>after the movie, he loved it
>hear other moviegoers talk amongst each other that they loved it
>every youtube critic I know of that's covered it (and also a lot that I don't know of but show up in my youtube recs anyway) love it
Am I fucking braindead? Have I become too fucking cynical to enjoy a movie? Or are they ALL really not watching beyond the fancy CGI pokemon (admittedly, executed much better than I expected) and realize that the script itself is the most boring, bland, derivative, forced drivel on the planet?
Every single plot development felt forced, and felt like it only happened because 'a movie's gotta have a scene where X happens'
It's a detective movie but the fucking solution mobile rolls up like three times. Not to mention the dialogue and humor itself, which ranges from boring to bad.
I honestly can't tell if journo chick was a parody of the overly enthusiastic, overly skilled crime journalist type character or a genuine example of it. Everyone's motivations were so fickle they might as well have cast a herd of cats. Ryan Reynolds was the ONLY good actor in the movie, but no amount of good acting could've saved his lines.
I heard the audience laugh at several moments when I wasn't even aware a joke was going on at all.
Have I become too autistic, or am I genuinely the only person in my immediate surrounding that can see past fancy setpieces?
Fuck.

Lets be real, it'll have that joke every bad kids movie has where the main character sees someone/something and screams, and then the other thing screams and then they're both screaming.
It'll be in the trailer. Kids love that shit.

>B-plot is Lego Movie-esqe, features kids playing Minecraft
>one gets bored and punches "Minecraft" into Youtube, clicks on the video with the most views
>everyone likes and subscribes as the video asks
>they begin HRT a few months later

youtube.com/watch?v=5hOrHbJsqPo

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>Steve joins some kind of rebel group
>each member introduces themselves, except one who looks like a man in a trenchcoat and hat
>he just says "I like building brown bricks."

>Rebel group discussing important shit
>"You can shut up now"

"The beds explode?"

God that bendy limb Minecraft shit always look awful.

what

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between the minecraft movie everyone is predicting right now, would a minecraft movie about people playing the game with faction shit be infinitely more entertaining?

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Please bring back dad jokes.

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>steve crafts shears
>zoom in on his face as he gives a smug smile as he uses the shears twice to make noise
>frame of sheep all looking at steve not moving
>small pause
>they all start jumping up and then try to run away while baa-ing

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bouffie

Now I'm sad.

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Honk honk

Imagine the guy who's job was making this page.

What's with all these video game movies nobody asked for?

Did you hear about the user that didn't reply to this post?

his mom is going to die in her sleep tonight

Oh.

be sad then you sad fuck

yeah the younger kids who will be watching this film probably wont even have heard of them, its been like 5 years since they did any real minecraft content

They're burning through their reserve of capeshit so now they're digging through anything they can get their hands on to adapt because only microbudget movies with massively disproportionate returns like Paranormal Activity 1 inject any new ideas into the modern film industry.

youtube.com/watch?v=ppmUnkafqT0

underrated

Hollywood ran out of (shitty) ideas around the turn of the century, so now for them even a literal turd would do.

They still do some, I think they’ve got three concurrent series going. But none of them are the same level of viewership as the original tekkit and minecraft stuff.

>more choice
Lol no, they liked to claim such but it was never true.

Nobody over the age of 13 plays Fortnite

>someone breaking the fourth wall but the angle changes and he's just griefing the wall of a house
This could never happen because it's actually funny

Go to derpibooru and look at the porn, no loli because of the host country but there is otherwise something for everyone.

>he made ANOTHER lever deepthroating video
Bruh...

Besides how creatively bankrupt Hollywood has been for the last 20 years, there's only like 10 or so primary plots a story is going to have. That's actually kind of a shitload when you realize how many different ways you can describe "man goes on adventure to stop bad guy" or whatever, but with how profit driven Hollywood has become and how big of an industry movies in general are, it means you get some seriously cookie cutter drivel now, since everything is designed to be as safe and profitable as possible. This means a movie is never going to really tread any new ground, it's themes are going to reaffirm whatever the general political and social narratives are, and it's going to try very hard to peddle to the lowest common denominator. If you're keen to movie cliches, you're not going to be surprised by a typical film out of Hollywood very often.

>food analogy
Think about how many different ways you could make a pizza, but then also think about what the safest bet for making a pizza everyone will at least tolerate and very few people will outright hate. Cheese pizza and pepperoni pizza are you best bets. So that's what you're gonna get. Meanwhile a pizza with swiss cheese instead of mozzarella with anchovies and pineapple probably isn't going to be liked or even eaten by a whole lot of people.

>what is bttf
Those portals only spawn after you defeat dragon for the first time. You can explore end cities and ships. There is now flight in survival.
End Poem.

Fuck you I laughed

Most people don't see anything beyond pretty colors and blood and CGI and stuff in movies. If you've ever taken a girl to a movie and asked her what she thought about it, she'll only tell you "X was hot" or something. If you go with a guy that you've never had an indepth conversation with, chances are they're going to tell you "When X shot Y that was really cool" or some other completely boring dull shit. Only surface level shit is registered by the average normie.

Post the Ender woman

Are these movies nothing but weird perverted fetish shit thrown into a minecraft setting?
>Ft Frozen Elsa
What the fuck is it with degenerate wackjobs on youtube and making fetish shit aimed at kids involving Elsa?

People never seen shit unless you’ve worked in a library and have to shelve books in the kids section

this with the image got me

how is that nobody has talked about how the teaser is going to have party blockers?

>telltale
>worth playing
Pick one.

It's mind-boggling how little normies pick up from movies. At most it's 50% of what's going on. And in the case of boomers it's like 10%.
And I'm talking about shit that's RIGHT THERE, not film theory/allegory/symbols/implied stuff.

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thinking about getting back into minecraft lads
what do I need to know? It's been like 9 years

Is it going to be a like the model but with realistic textures? Now that will be pure nightmare fuel.

I have read that as well, but that would make every single German player of Fortnite an illegal.
They are literally banned by law from playing it, and it's a crime to make the game available to them.

You have to watch a movie at least twice to really catch most of everything, like noticing a plot hole that you didn't before, and if the movie is good enough, you'll find on another watching it's actually explained properly.

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I don't wanna be destroyed

Batman S2 was enjoyable

>:(

Laughing is a very social thing, people tend to laugh more when others are. That's why they put laugh tracks in shows with bad jokes

>search quake 3 + parp
>0 results
*sip*
Yep... Quake 3 truly was a great game.

they just added scaffolding and it's a godsend you can extend it from any direction while standing still, and it instantly breaks. They also added slap and stair variants of almost every block

why can u not do that now?

>being delusional

>Tries to talk with villager
>Punches hims, Aggros the Golem, run away
God I wish you could only hit villages while having a sword