Texan enters the server

>New Englander enters the server
>Ahh yea, wicked pissuh, how weyah doin'?

>Arkansian enters the server
>I wanna kill myself

>American enters the server
>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>european joins the server
>shitty internet makes him lose half the time
>starts swearing in broken english
>loses some more
>language descends into full-on gopnik babble

youtu.be/AZBeFg78h1c

>out shopping
>approached by some people
>"how can Texans stand this heat? California is much better."
>laughs with their friends
>i just muster a smirk and continue my day
>one state is actually on fire while the other isn't

>Californian enters the server
>*GURGLEGURGLEGURGLEGURGLEGURGLEGURGLE*
>*COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUUGGHHHH*
Dude... like... hehehheheheee

North Care a linor waltzs in
Yall havin a gudn? (pronounced good un as in good one)

Attached: 1557043072708.jpg (525x478, 72K)

Is this the disguised reddit thread of the hour?

>australian joins the server
>OI BLOODY DRONGO POOFTA IM GONNA SKULL THIS TINNIE YEAH NAH FUCK OFF SNOIPINS A GOOD JAWB M8 *dingo eats baby in background*

I GOT A RING IN 'ERE LAST NIGHT

Drunk rednecks are the most comfy people to play with, prove me wrong.
Y'all'd've can't

>Confederate enters the server
>WHEN WE HEAR CO-OP WE THINK OF HOW WE GIT OUR GRAIN

Attached: William T Sherman.jpg (380x370, 16K)

>Mexican joins the server
>starts lagging all over the field
>loud scratching from the mic
>”puto”
>Mexican has left the server

>canadian enters the server
>ZUT ALORS HON HON HAVE YOU TRIED LE TOURTIERE IT'S TIME TO SEPERATE

Attached: 1390254165523.png (1340x888, 390K)

>witcher fan joins the server
>ALALALALALALALALALALLALAALALALLALALALALALALAALALLALLA

Attached: 1517678809267.jpg (580x587, 93K)

>Mexican enters the server
>"Que pedo gringos jotos"

Attached: 1554442748993.png (922x715, 282K)

>Doctor enters the server
>"time for your... shots"

Attached: DOC.jpg (720x720, 67K)

Drunk rednecks are great in modded PC servers.
They're fucking awful on consoles.

The fact that the guys laughed it off instead of raging makes it one of the best ventrillo harassment vids.

>Washingtonian enters the server
>"Lmao fuck individual rights"

>Texan enters the server
>jajajaja andale andale arriba arriba jajajaja yii-hah

>ping is ping - greater, lesser, middling

>mexican kid joins the server
>leaves his mic on
>can hear his siblings getting beat by la chancla

DROPPED YIR PANTS?

Attached: 1491692639961.png (560x533, 79K)

NO MORE VIDYA

If you compare it State against State Texas always wins. But if you pitched a Texas man against a Florida man, Florida man will always win. Florida man has nothing to lose.

>Chinese enters the server
>Ching Chong Bing Bong Autism

Attached: download (9).jpg (236x214, 16K)

>Sylvanian joins the server
>NAGASH WAS WEAK, WITNESS TRUE POWER

Attached: pack.gif (302x176, 630K)

This is the most newfag post Ive seen in a while. Good on you

>Guyanese enters the server
>HOT FO' DAYS

>"""Texan""" enters the server
>is from Austin

Attached: 1546990382110.jpg (661x576, 66K)

>Texan enters the server
>howdy yall lemme here your yips!!!
O-okay...
>yip yiphooo!
>yeeeeehawww that a boy!

>Austin
>not Dallas

>North Caroliner enters server
>youtu.be/1gX1EP6mG-E starts playing

>Alaskan enters the server
>*bear noises and angry shouting in the background*

Attached: 1556260217603.png (500x500, 106K)

this is the only answer. florida man and alaska man are the only ones who can defeat texas man in single combat

Funny post, don't listen to the seething nintendo drones

not if alaska man defeats himself first

well thats 30 seconds of my life im never getting back. a full minute now that i've had to tell you just how fucking retarded that video was and that you should be ashamed for even posting it

Texas here. Have to agree.

Attached: 1539730988448.png (876x1329, 494K)

Why can't texans just speak like normal human beings?
They speak like niggers.

>Best friend moved to texas
>went from kinda nerdy to full blown yeehaw cowboy
Does this happen to anyone that enters texas?

Attached: 1552344898173.gif (598x450, 33K)

Texas probably has more labor laws than a third world country does, so it's automatically a better state than Florida if you aren't a 1%er

Texas is a place where people will literally start clapping when sonething good happens

>not clapping when the stars at night are big and bright

seething and cringe, how fucking sad
nincels just need to die already, and burn shitendo to the fucking ground

>american enters the server
>he-
*gunshot sounds*
*american has disconnected*

Attached: cart.jpg (599x427, 69K)

>surrender vote for team agreed

>american enters the server
>has-
*gunshot sounds*
*american has disconnected*

why does everything have to be a console war this board is a shit show, it used to be 24/7 console wars now its 24/7 console wars but its run by 5 year olds making fun of 7 year olds

>american enters the server
>no-
*gunshot sounds*
*american has disconnected

I wish you guys didn't keep posting wojacks

ITT poorfags who pretend to like their deplorable shit state because they can’t afford to live in California

Anyone else got such a fucked accent noone can understand your English?

Depends on the area really. As a texan myself, I fuck with people in other states often. I change my accent and dialect to what you would expect. I claim to own 10's of acres of lands, oil wells, a ranch etc.

>>american enters the server
>>style-
>*gunshot sounds*
>*american has disconnected

>Irishman enters the server
"TOP OF TEH MORNING TEH YEE LADDIES"

>Texan enters the server
>doesn't speak Spanish
I'm so very confused

>Midwesterner enters the server
>"FUCK NIGGERS"

Probably from north Texas or actually Oklahoman

I’m from California and most of my friends here in Dallas learned spanish.

Texas is rightfull mexican clay.

aren't you guys spanish haters?

sure it is pablo, speaking of dirt could you finish putting mulch down in my yard

>join server
>people start asking who the redneck is singing Yellow Rose of Texas and start a votekick
>they kick the wrong guy

Attached: giphy.gif (500x240, 1000K)

Cowboys are kinda hot

Attached: tumblr_pr4hoyx7TB1r3p58o_1280.jpg (822x1080, 99K)

are you my neighbor? You tell that jackass that I'll call ICE if he doesn't hurry up with that shit.

Attached: maxresdefault.jpg (1280x720, 77K)

>black mommy enters the server
>hey kid, wanna /ss/?

Attached: 5284AA061811495D8BB54C50FC8A0992.jpg (675x1221, 119K)

But for real, why do people do this.

>from cali
>lives in dallas
Dallas is the second gayest city in Texas, behind Austin and above the "gay ghetto" Montrose in Houston, which is mostly young millenials with money moving in and fixing up the place pricing out all the old HIV-laden queers because they can't afford the new property taxes and their AIDS pills.

Attached: DcJOaTNUwAEA7ra.jpg (777x1200, 225K)

man you're trying really hard to fit in, what other buzzwords do you have for me, champ?

hes one of the few white males left in texas

there's not many of us left though

tik tok

Attached: 1557519771.png (847x308, 49K)

I don’t care since I’m not gay but it’s nice here. I live in a pretty big house and it was only $350k. If I tried to buy the same house in California I would have had to take out a loan. Everything is so much cheaper here. The only draw back is that you have rednecks on top of niggers and spics.

>Georgian joins the server
>muffled rap music in the background
>crunching on chik-fil-a nugs
>Takes a sip of Cheerwine
>mutes mic

There's no rednecks in Dallas, you're just used to turboqueers on the west coast that anyone who isn't a turboqueer and merely a metrosexual you think they're a redneck. DFW is called the "metroplex" for a reason.

> Pearl enters the server
> ALL TRANNIES MUST FUCKING HANG!

Attached: A5E859DF-5264-4E47-8796-0906F7A17B76.jpg (3024x4032, 1.24M)

underrated

Based and daltonpilled

>>Texan enters the server
>>They're actually from California

Don't remind me.

Attached: Anon.webm (500x772, 1.89M)

>The victories in Mexico were, in every instance, over vastly superior numbers. There were two reasons for this. Both General Scott and General Taylor had such armies as are not often got together. At the battles of Palo Alto and Resaca-de-la-Palma, General Taylor had a small army, but it was composed exclusively of regular troops, under the best of drill and discipline. Every officer, from the highest to the lowest, was educated in his profession, not at West Point necessarily, but in the camp, in garrison, and many of them in Indian wars. The rank and file were probably inferior, as material out of which to make an army, to the volunteers that participated in all the later battles of the war; but they were brave men, and then drill and discipline brought out all there was in them. A better army, man for man, probably never faced an enemy than the one commanded by General Taylor in the earliest two engagements of the Mexican war. The volunteers who followed were of better material, but without drill or discipline at the start. They were associated with so many disciplined men and professionally educated officers, that when they went into engagements it was with a confidence they would not have felt otherwise. They became soldiers themselves almost at once. All these conditions we would enjoy again in case of war.

soon enough texas will be overrun with commiefornians, its already become a colony for them

based doggie

You're starting to see it with the huge influx of money for campaigns from outside the state. Beto and company. They shipped in college students from other states for rallies in the most recent elections.
>PROVE IT NIGGER
I was on campus for work and talked to a few of them. They mostly came from small private schools scattered about.

>californian enter the server
>Duuuude like fuck Trump shieeet

>Mexican enters the server
>mom screaming
>dad shouting
>sisters fighting
>dog barking

>Texans are this beta

>stoner/alcoholic enters the server
>GUYS I'M SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW LOOOL
> I JUST SMOKED SO MUCH WEED
>BRO DOES ANYBODY ELSE SMOKE WEED
Why do people do this?

Attached: 1556069125017.jpg (184x168, 11K)

>live in a texas city that gets a lot of out of state immigrants from poz'd shitlib states
>the city has a reddit
>sometimes check it to see local happenings
>every few weeks some shitlib complains that the city is really conservative [its not]
i shudder to think what life must be like on the coasts, if boomer neoconism and center right shapiro watching retards are "extremely conservative" to these people

i've asked concerned state legislature to consider banning californians from moving here but they hung up the phone

you have to go back

>they are always on your team
>they always play like shit
>they always go afk to get another drink or take a smoke break
>they always end up disconnecting

retard

When I was a teenager I got shit on for being too liberal but, when I was in undergrad and would travel around to conferences and whatnot, people on the west coast would call me a brownshirt. Blew my fucking mind.

Attached: BrownShirt.jpg (520x719, 55K)

>European joins server
>makes "joke"
>no one laughs

you wont find me arguing, on top of that you have the mass exodus from california due to hiked costs of living, the increased late-life medical care facilities increased in places like Tyler, and you have every voting boomer pinko from Cali moving in in droves and voting on outcomes in MY state, for resolutions that turned THEIR state into a shithole, even though theyre just gonna die inside of 20 years and wont have to live with the consequences

its enough to make a man sick

>euro joins server
>gets kicked for high ping
As it should be.

>American joins server
>dies of heart attack

>Califag enters the server
>"brb wildfire"

>Australian joins the server
>Joins forces with the local server Floridian
What the fuck do I do in this situation?

Attached: 1530785017251.jpg (400x400, 23K)

>tik tok
till it becomes a third world shithole like the rest of mexico and everyone suffers.

Thanks for the example.

Where are my fellow Texans headed when the revolution comes?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reykjavík#Economy