Getting prostate exam, doctor puts finger in

>went to the clinic for hemorrhoids
>got a hot female doctor
>she doesn't stick a finger up my ass
Part of me thinks she was too disgusted by me to do it. I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed by that thought or relieved that I didn't have to get anything up my ass

Why don't they make it mandatory that cute female nurses have to be in charge of prostate exams?
We'd have dramatically lower rates of prostate cancer in this country if it wasn't creepy old dudes doing it.

>getting prostate exam, doctor puts finger in
>nothing
>after a while I say "is it in yet"?
>doc just looks at me with his finger in my ass as I turn around

Attached: 1557028179502.gif (680x453, 3.7M)

I bet you'd slurp on a cock if it helped you live

radical centrism: creepy old female nurses

I don't know, I'd prefer a dude. Having a woman do it makes it feel like a sex thing. Having it done by someone I'm not attracted to makes it feel more professional and less weird.

>Get prostate exam
>Doesn't feel good. Feels like I need to shit
>Not even satisfying

I would be bad at being gay.

Attached: 1539576244311.png (391x419, 348K)

underrated

You do know that there are female urologists, right? You can just choose to go to those instead.

>I'd rather die than suck a dick
God damn, that's some dedication

Nigger how hard is it to realize that Bright red = annoying hemorrhoids, Dark brown = oh oh shit.

When your ass cancer is causing you to bleed it's already too late senpai.

W-what about black ones? j-just curious h-haha

As they say, better to die a straight man than live as a gay fag.

Because homosexuallity rtypically induces responses from the part of the brain relegated to disgust, with the activity being similar to seeing a rotting corpse.
Telling him to suck a dick is like asking him to eat part of that corpse.

>get a horrible pain in my side and feel sick after eating
>look up those symptoms
>pancreatic cancer
I'm sure it's nothing haha

Attached: ff.jpg (349x305, 22K)

>TotalBleedsFromAnusForAYearBiscut
I actually have Ulcerative Colitis but didn't do anything about shitting blood for like 3 months
wound up in the ER where dude unceremoniously shoved his finger up my ass (ironically I'm gay but was way too fucking mortified about being half naked in an ER to give a shit)

>the second time I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample
Is this normal procedure?

Attached: 1530917863397.png (498x520, 18K)

hahahahahaha

Play any anno game other than 2205. Be drowned by autistic economic pursuit

Not always, but usually.
It doesn't mean you should immediately jump to "I HAVE ASS CANCER" if you see blood in your stool, however.

>Black ones
Your stool should be stock standard brown.

what the fuck does jizzing sound like?

just like in my doujins

Yes, if you don't want to stand in a smelly toilet beating your meat for 10 minutes for a semen sample.

>27 years old
>Haven't entered a hospital in over 5 years
>Don't have healthcare either
I'm just gonna drop dead one day, I hope nobody tries to save me.

Attached: 1533651769345.jpg (427x300, 16K)

no you're just a retard

that moan you make when you cum

Attached: camp counselor anon.png (1132x1394, 279K)

You're supposed to sit on a toilet, not stand in it.

If serious go to the doctor dude

youtube.com/watch?v=TrRDqD-bpWY

Play Va-11Hall-a

Attached: IMG_20190408_211027.jpg (524x722, 48K)

That's almost as stupid as saying video games are like doing drugs since they activate pleasure centers

>I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample

Attached: 1551501773106.gif (230x230, 1.54M)

You should wish that there are things that instantly make you drop dead. The reality is that your body will just start breaking down piece by piece every day at some point, if you don't already have a small cancer at the age of 30.

As long as you're not boogie fat, you should probably be fine.

Jhizzzzzzzhhhhhhh

appendix

classic

>with the activity being similar
I haven't seen the relative levels of "videogames to hard drugs", but for now I'll assume they don't have similar levels of activity.

What the fuck, why not take it at home and bring it there after you're done, if you don't let it stand in the sun for an hour it should still be good

Attached: IMG_3726.jpg (680x907, 46K)

how do I prostate orgasm

At least you didn't get an erection like me. Thankfully it was a lady Doctor, but still embarrassing nevertheless.

Attached: 893792837.png (500x280, 231K)

If you have actual black blood in your stool, it means that there is something VERY wrong inside of you, most likely internal bleeding.

Attached: jump force.png (626x754, 95K)

Could also be constipation

I would probably instantly bust if a female put her finger in my ass

Attached: t1.png (301x357, 223K)

Well, they don't prep you like homos do it, most likely.

That could be fucking anything, only see a doctor if it's not gone in 3 days

If you think prostate massage is great, try this with your girlfriend once. It's like heaven.

Attached: 1440256368957.jpg (644x494, 53K)

>My first time I growled

user it's ok to admit you liked it. I enjoy Hypnosis as a fetish.

Attached: That rolls my dice.png (754x680, 532K)

Was it a good touch? What was the Doctor's gender?

>most likely
in the unlikely event you wind up about the get fucked in the ass and the person has not lubed their dick and your ass, and you're fairly sure they're not a virgin, it's time to get the hell out of there.
what the fuck
>heroin isn't even spelled right
what is the source?

>needle in dick

Attached: 1524248173273.gif (400x400, 510K)

>I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample, which also gave me a massive burning sensation.

Attached: 1529005296653.jpg (602x709, 67K)

I can't imagine this feeling good at all, it sounds very unpleasant

pussy

Get a latina gf. They love ass play.

Kek this reminds me of the time me and my friends walked in on another one of our friends cosplaying as some blue haired anime girls getting fucked by two dudes.

>One of the dudes who was cosplaying as Ichigo looks at us
>"Wanna join? We can make some more room"
>Friends just lying their with his asshole spread open
>We immediately close the door

Attached: 1464310203653.png (570x691, 629K)

This sounds familiar

Indians too

Attached: 1436927829463.jpg (227x220, 8K)

>"Wanna join? We can make some more room"
what a lad

Attached: 1534433094059.jpg (768x768, 40K)

Is there a more degenerate drug than heroin? Not even crack is as sick. I hope all heroin users fall asleep and die

Faggot.

Yeah I post about him and his gay wacky adventures regularly.

>he's still posting it

Semen gets destroyed pretty quickly, kiddo

>warm herion

What the fuck even is that?

so easy to spot the 3rd worlders that never had penis inspection day in grade school

>not pushing back and yelling "harder! harder!"

>I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample

Attached: dang.png (452x457, 20K)

Is my prostate not sensitive enough or it's just buried behind too many layers of fat?
I tried putting various things of various size into my ass like pens, screwdriver or hairbrush handle, etc and moving it around but I never felt anything good.

Do you think cum is a fucking cake or something? It degrades after a few minutes.

>I hope all heroin users fall asleep and die
Most heroin users hope for that as well.

nice fanfiction user

It's a great drug for suicide, i plan on doing it that way myself
Imagine leaving this world on the highest peak of ecstasy

>I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample,
user I don't think thats legal

Attached: 7829378655364.jpg (400x381, 39K)

Put a finger in, and reach forwards towards where your balls/dick are.

>He's fat
>Why isn't it working

Lmao

Just use warm water

Was it a female doctor and did they comment on you moaning at all?

Attached: 1535162948555.jpg (409x618, 58K)

>it's
is it*
Fuck me there are so many ESLs on Yea Forums just fucking guessing everything they say.

>hey doc I don't wanna jack off for this
>okay kid
>*slaps on glove*
>this isn't my first rodeo
>switch to a scene of user getting force milked by having his prostate squeezed
wait a second why did you say FORCED, was it non consensual? If you gave consent it wouldn't have been FORCED.

I sure did back when I was addicted

I'm too fat to reach from the front (belly in the way), and if I arch my back backwards and reach like that I can get half a finger in, but then it curves the wrong way. Which is why I've been using tools.

>doctor is a hot girl
>get prostate exam
>feels great with her finger up my ass
>dont even get a boner let alone cum

life is harsh

Had my first one at like 14. The doctor had some stubby fingers too. It was not fun

I would suck some mad dick if it meant I didn't die

no but it can be

What you eating?

oh god, I just know this is going to happen to me

Attached: 1486687457581.jpg (351x351, 22K)

It's forced in the sense that if you push the prostate cum just starts leaking out of your dick, you retard.

>tfw my fucking ex was a nympho
>She read doujins as well and thought I would love my asshole licked and prostate massaged while she rode me

>She didn't know I had hemmeroids

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Attached: 15259304973802.png (416x577, 262K)

>tfw sometimes bleed when I take a shit but feel like it was because it was a big one that tore the skin a bit and everytime afterwards it's just the wound reopening
>tied between shitting everyday and never giving it the chance to heal or shitting like once in a few days for a big one and hope it doesn't tear my ass when it comes

It's bright red blood with a sharp pain when it passes, clearly it's just an ass-wound and not some disease right? I feel completely normal and have always been healthy otherwise.
right?

Attached: 1516227518133.png (926x673, 160K)

ah yes, the regularly scheduled heroine and prostate massage discussion on the video games board

Attached: 1490902688348.jpg (200x200, 9K)

Why were you getting your ass ravaged at 14?

Sticks of butter
Well it's a good thing i was just curious haha

>never got a prostate exam
>Mfw only 21
When is the best time to get it checked bros?

Try lying on your side, reaching across the body and between the legs. Alternatively, lose weight and stop sticking stuff up your ass. It's not too late for you user.

nah you're just rubbing faeces on an open wound, no big deal user

I have the exact same thing. My poop is too big for my butt to handle so it always tears. I usually have to go incredibly slow and intentionally hold it back for a minute to give my butt time to adjust so I don't bleed too much.

How has anyone in this thread not had a proper prostate exam like what the fuck.

Attached: 1553995568458.jpg (767x1024, 214K)

I still love Yea Forums

It's the worse. Your body betray you and calls you gay, where the woman sees you for the degenerate that you are. My recommendation is jerking off like three times the day before the exam to minimize the risks of getting a boner.

you just have hemorrhoids, they're just painful and annoying but not dangerous

But...that wouldn't yield a sample with any sperm...that would just be prostatic fluid and ONLY prostatic fluid.
What kind of test was this for?

Wouldn't worry too much about it, I have the same issue, it's a hemoroid for certain, but you can get medicine to help it heal - ask your doctor, you don't even need a finger in the ass to get it.

this thread is incredibly gay but this is probably why i'll never go for an endoscopy despite going through some stints where i've straight up shat out blood on a few occasions

Dunno, I just checked the archive and there are quite a few SEETHING that she died and they lived.

I'll take Yea Forums2.0 over nu-Yea Forums. especially now that Yea Forums isnt even Yea Forums anymore

Attached: 1402090091869.jpg (600x404, 50K)

I want your doctor.

>He has hemmeroids now

Welcome to hell brother.

You will
>Never be able to swim in the ocean due to infection
>No pools
>No rivers
>Non-stop blood loss every time you shit
>Will need to take iron pills daily
>Will need to take fiber daily
>Can't lift heavy weights or else wound reopens

I absotHATE my hemmeroids.

Attached: 1310677399397.png (500x410, 147K)

This is what I do. It's unpleasant but I feel like I have to slowly stretch my ass. If I manage without bleeding though it typically doesn't happen for a few weeks again.

>14
Nigga what

There was a HealSlut ERP thread a few days ago that reached bump limit and the jannies did nothing. As far as I know, this is a step up, because at least OP asked for a game recommendation.

Most likely anal fissure or hemorrhoid.
Protip: more than two third of rectal cancer never actually bleeds until you're dying.
Statistically you only have a slightly higher chance of having cancer than an average guy with no symptoms.

Take some stool softeners, drink more water and do more exercises (improves your metabolism rate).

40 I think

Wtf why does my doctor use his tongue instead of his finger Yea Forumsros?

It's fine if you're cute

Attached: 1319074319001.png (493x402, 3K)

>Get a prostate exam
>"Okay, take off your pants and lay on the table"
>Take off my pants
>Doctor comes back in
>Instead of laying on the table I'm bending over like Im about to get ass fucked

Attached: 1529584889872.jpg (1280x960, 177K)

>mfw get an ulcer
>mfw they check if I`m bleeding lower than my stomach as well, have to put a blood test up my ass
>mfw have hemorrhoids
>mfw have about 3 different people do this test

Attached: 1498360897217.jpg (540x540, 20K)

jesus, how fucking fat are you?

Attached: 1548907769846.jpg (1080x1105, 85K)

How did you heal yours bros.

Why are you people getting examined at such young ages? Do you have prostate cancer or are you just sluts who want to be fingered?

You can get those cut off, retard

>stool softeners
What do you recommend? Are there any foods, or do I have to get medication? Can I get it online?

I'm 210 at 5'11"

Perfectly normal.

So basically if you take a big hard shit too fast and it bleeds it turns into a hemmoroid you have forever?
I'm not sure I believe this

Attached: 1535897194446.png (568x433, 122K)

Attached: 1532062904638.png (600x600, 114K)

Not him but I've never been able to cum with only a prostate massage. It does help me cum faster if I fap at the same time.

Personally I have Crohn's disease

They dont heal naturally, but a high fiber diet will make them not hurt. Take probiotics or eat a lot of yogurt as well. I recommend taking dissolvable fiber in your coffee in the morning too, it works wonders.

You sure the doctor needed that semen sample?

Applying rectal cream a couple of days in a row plus eating more fiber-rich bread such as ryebread for lunch everyday - gives you ye ol' smooth shits.

appendix bro i had mine taken out cause of it, better to have it done early

what a slut

my teacher in high school said the same thing to the class

user I don't thing that was a doctor.

I get anal fissures about once every few months. One time the blood on the paper was a bright crimson red but that was only once and there was no red in the stools at all. Do I have hemorrhoids or do I just strain my asshole too hard sometimes?

Attached: 1557203714777.jpg (337x290, 56K)

You just stole that from Road Trip.

Attached: MV5BODA4ZGRhZjgtMTYwMy00MDQzLTkxNTUtYTYwZjE5NDRiZTRjL2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1 (580x860, 476K)

>dissolvable fiber in your coffee
>fiber + coffee

Absolute madman

>that mandatory prostate exam in middle school
So fucking embarrassing, especially since it was done in from of the whole class. How did you guys deal with it?

Yep. You forced to too hard that the wound opens. And since the butthole skin is elastic and stretchy. That little cut is scar tissue and it's not as stretchy. So next shit will force it open .

Doctor recommended paraffin oil because it's mild enough not to give you diarrhea, which is NOT a good thing to have with hemorrhoids or anal fissures (it still contains too much gastric acid and will make your wounds worse).
You can get it in pharmacies and can most likely order it online. He told me to take half a spoon with each meal.

it's an actual thing though, not something from a movie

>had to get a nerve reaction test
>strip down while doctors put electrodes all over me
>lay on a table getting zapped every 10 seconds while they check that I'm responding all right
>"I'm sorry user, but would you mind adjusting your underwear?"
>look down
>semi-chub is fully poking out of my underpants

Attached: sak.png (389x386, 312K)

I shit like a shotgun my guy, its great

Probably hemorrhoids. If its red ranging into bright red it's a wound close to the anus, on it, or your cheeks so it's a non-issue.

Should've loosened up your ass with some cocks first.

anal fissues only happen if youre sticking things up your ass (pro tip sodomy is unhealthy)

if the blood is bright red its hemmorhoids and you need to change your diet and not strain so hard. maybe squat instead of sit, idk

>tfw hemorrhoids
>itchy asshole 24/7
At least im not a faggot so it doesn't matter sexually

Attached: 1544591742633.jpg (753x595, 23K)

I got a prostate exam once.
It just felt like i had a hard shit in reverse.
All the lube just made me feel like i had shit my pants for hours till i finally got home and washed my ass.

Ironically i still fantasize about fucking and being fucked in the ass by traps or dick-girls despite knowing i dont enjoy it

Attached: BEST.gif (480x270, 1.44M)

probably both

hemorrhoids are a pain in the ass and are pretty unpredictable for the most part. sometimes you'll be gushing out blood every time you wipe your ass and sometimes they'll just retreat up your bunghole for a while and never show up again until several months later.

They've seen plenty of dicks already and it was only for your own sake they even bothered telling you

>all these anons with hemmeroids
I thought I was the only one.

Attached: _.gif (265x257, 1.78M)

>a steady stream of yogurt + coffee mixed with vegetable fiber

this man shits must be legendary

you can easily get anal fissures if you get concrete-hard, fist-sized shits. I think a dildo would be more gentle than the rocks i've been laying lately.

How much blood are we talking?

Why the fuck does everyone on Yea Forums shit blood

I've had them go away on their own though
mine aren't that bad though

>used to get this
>it was an ulcer
>tfw the pain came back

bad hygiene
bad diet
anonymity

do you know what a hemorrhoid is?

Attached: 1435804740016pix.png (822x564, 82K)

>never had prostate exam
>afraid of getting one because I'm sure I'll do something stupid like cum from it
>don't care that people would think I'm gay, just don't want to cum in public

Attached: roger'd.gif (242x210, 795K)

>Every time I take a shit its MASSIVE but not long
>About the size of my fist
>About 3 chunks
>Every time it clogs my toilet and I need to use my plunger for like 15 minutes straight
>tfw I dont shit in public because I want to save the janitors that hassle

>tfw tore my ass something massive just before visiting friends for the weekend
>the subtle smell of blood
>on the toilet 6 times a day
>constantly painting the entire toilet red
surely they didn't suspect a thing

sedentary lifestyle, dehydration, lack of fibre.
keep healthy anons

>the second time I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample

Attached: fc4.jpg (540x720, 53K)

>tfw pinworms again from playing with my asshole too much
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Attached: 1557249687008.png (600x388, 86K)

>>About the size of my fist

Attached: concerned shark.png (280x218, 90K)

WASH YOUR HANDS REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>dad had a prostate exam scheduled
>tell him that it's not gay if you say no homo
>stares at me in complete disbelief and I thought I was about to get thrown out.
It seemed like a good joke to say at the time

>sometimes in the shower heart feels weird like there is something blocking it
>left eyelid randomly twitches from time to time
>get constant headaches
>arms are all fucked up
>go to doctor
>first two were literally nothing and pass with time
>headaches are because I don't drink enough water = easy fix
>have exima but get cream that fixes it so it's also no big deal
>all the people in this thread that have permanent fucked up stuff
>I should have a bunch of fucked up stuff with my body
>don't
luck and resilience is all it takes I guess.

Attached: black-body-paint.jpg (1750x2500, 426K)

that's not how you get pinworms

All doctors see an unhealthy amount of dicks and pussies
I know it's embarrassing for you but you shouldn't care so much.

all faggots get STDs and complications with their asses and are on 5 different medications. Just stop being a faggot

On the other hand, I get really long shits, like one shit I shat was seriously over a foot long

>normal person
>"hmm, stomach's feeling a little off, maybe I should monitor my diet"
>Yea Forums
>"JUST FUCKING TAKE ME ALREADY PETE I'LL EAT MORE RAZOR WIRE JUST HURRY UP"

you know they say a dudes brain who is receiving anal looks a lot like a female brain receiving the sex. yall who can't cum from assplay either are so retarded that you can't find the prostate, or have such little understanding of submission and receptive sex. bummer for you because it's fucking awesome. almost made me want to be gay but sadly I'm not attracted to masculinity.

This might be a stupid question, but could it possibly help with anal fissures if I gently stretch my anus with toys?
The idea would be that it could become overall looser so that it strains less when taking a shit, but then the stretching itself might make things worse than what it helps.

Clearly you do not. I've had mine surgically removed already so drop smartass attitude, dipshit

REMINDER

If you are bleeding bright red blood in your stools your chance of infection goes up to 117%

Eat fiber, don't force the poops.

w-what?

Attached: 1548482819021.jpg (960x704, 41K)

I had lymphoma in highschool and it nearly killed me because I ignored it until I fell unconscious at practice one day. Get that shit checked before it potentially spreads.

Dont use Google to search for symptoms. Most of the time it will tell you that you are going to die.

Most likely due to the increase of s oyboys who play on their phone and handheld while pooping.

I fooled around with this older woman and the first time she gave me a BJ she near the end she stuck a finger in my ass and pressed down. I blew like a busted fire hydrant. Legit passed out afterwards. When I came to she just giggle and said it was adorable how that happened. She taught me more about women in 2 months than I learned in my whole life

Attached: 1529033793581.png (740x1010, 192K)

>exima
Look at this dood
Google is RIGHT fucking there.

What if it's not in the stools, but it shows up in specs on the toilet paper when I wipe my anus?

>anal fissues only happen if youre sticking things up your ass (pro tip sodomy is unhealthy)
you ain't a real nigga if you never busted your asshole laying a giant donkey turd

>It's better to get the treatment than pretending to be manly man and die like a bitch (example: TotalBleedsFromAnusForAYearBiscut).
What are you talking about? He went hardcore into chemo and everything as soon as he was diagnosed.

That's the same reason alot of people don't like it but it's pretty natural dude

>461461214
>Clearly you do not. I've had mine surgically removed already so drop smartass attitude, dipshit

>Takes years to heal
>You will not be able to control butthole so you shit in diapers the rest of your life
>Still bleed from time to time
>Chance of hemmeroids coming back is still 75%

Yikes

Attached: 1448863281731s.jpg (228x227, 8K)

what does a prostate orgasm feel like

>the second time I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample

Attached: earlphone.jpg (325x222, 28K)

how to get older woman?

Don’t ever get a catheter if you don’t have to, lads

Attached: 1388724428534.jpg (500x329, 61K)

>the second time I got force milked by having my prostate squeezed to take a semen sample, which also gave me a massive burning sensation.

Attached: 1524437357715.jpg (620x349, 56K)

salty milk and coins