Girl walks in to your room

>*unzips vagina*

>girl walks in to your room

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fpbp

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Do not listen to this guy, that pic is the spookiest shit I've ever seen and almost gave me a heart attack, it'll haunt me for many sleepless years to come

No, it doesn't smell str

>Does this smell like chloroform to you?

I don't buy merch. Fucking waste of money.

>girl walks in to your room

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No, its fine. Thank you for being so considerate, it was really hot outside.

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My Senran Kagura collection is worst than this.

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this, desu. especially not for some stupid shit like Dead fucking Island.

>a girl would walk into my house, let alone my room
>affording a collector's edition bonus merch
>keeping a chair that close to a window between a table

>girl walks in
>sees this
>understands that I'll be a kind, loving male father
It's not that difficult you birgins

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Fpbp confirmed

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>girl walks in to your room

is this a thing??

Past a certain age, not owning a decapitating semi-decomposed female torso can be a bad thing.

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Is it all hard plastic or can you jiggle the tits?

you understand.

>male father

Im sure your wifes son will be delighted

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>girl
>your room
>actually having a room that a girl could walk into in the first place

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Is that torso life-size? Because if it is it would make a solid halloween decoration without the dumb base.

Other than that, though, it's a weird accessory, specifically because Dead Island is, and always has been, a shit series.

>>girl walks in to your room

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what are you one of those neets that has more shelf space than walking space?

This is how I dress. I only seem to ever get women in their 30s and 40s interested in me. Never girls in their 20s. Why?

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My sister is the one that made me buy it

this thing is insane. I remember when it was released, lol'd back then

>NO NO NO, DON'T SHAKE DA BABY

>25
>on an island
>living with mother
>looked on every site, called every number
>no available housing

>rejecting 30s and 40s milfs
If you want 20 year olds just wear sweatpants

I have the same problem.

Give me more of this pic.

Because you dress like an old cunt. why would a young girl want to fuck you lmao *dabs*

Look for girls with daddy issues.

because you dress like a mormon/sociopath
learn2style you dont need to be some supreme wearing hypebeast but at least dont be wear around the corn flakes of clothes
khakis are ONLY to be worn as a forced work uniform otherwise you lose your soul

>journalists complained about it as soon as it was revealed
>we're very sorry, this is clearly distasteful and we made a mistake
>we're still releasing it though

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>jumpscare music starts playing
>user starts to grow claws and teeth

What should I wear?

>Any girl that has ever walked into my room
your mom doesn't count

I have this but I bought in secure in the knowledge that I'll never have a girl in my room anyway.

why do you dress like a male equivalent of someone who exclusively shops at Goodwill?

>that shirt/sweater/jacket/tie combo
Jesus, user. No fucking wonder. I wouldn't approach someone so lacking in style either.
Learn to coordinate your colors.

I still live with my parents so if I ever "bring a girl to my room" (yeah right) it would be to a hotel room or her place. My room at home can have as much weird shit as I want.

That being said who thought that thing was a good idea.

If this is something you worry about, then literally and unironically step your game up. You make it too easy for dudes like me out here. I'll walk a girl into a basement apartment full of these and still smash. Literally get on my level.

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>male father

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Not him but I wear plain fitted clothing and work out a lot and I seem to mostly pull 20 somethings at 30.

Look at this handsome man, why don't you copy him?

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Has /fa/ poisened young people's brains into thinking this shit doesn't look rediculous unless you are over 40?

>male father

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Jeans

I'm in my 30s though

would you?

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>man
>he doesn't know

user I....

If a girl is walking into your room you're already close enough with her that it wouldn't bother her that much.

I'm an Accounting lecturer and dress like this too. Whats with all the hate lol

By the look of that hand yes

>girl walks in to your room
I sure as hell hope not, I haven't cleaned in ages

my parents are workaholics so they are rarely home outside of their days off and they try to sync them. I've hosted a few doublelist thots and just fucked in the entertainment room or guest room.

I don't want to be fit. I only want to be /fa/. Being /fit/ requires effort. I only want to do things that involve me spending money not actually working out.

Until she smells the dry cum on it and your hatsune miku figures

you're a try hard. Young girls will be repulsed, older women will look to use you and leave you

>its ok when chad does it

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Anons don’t smell the rag it creates mustard gas!

You're still too young to dress like Mister Rodgers

flickr.com/photos/senrankagurahd/albums/72157673325241118

First of all that's why motels exist, also that is clearly an statue from a game, a lot of girls have weirder shit than that in their room even most normies would just get it's a cool statue

The only thing that is actually still unacceptable are anime figure with extremely huge boobs or or underage characters, and only virgings have those so they will never have to worry about a girl in their room

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Step 1: Be attractive
Step 2:

i like the fact the morbidity is in the sexuality and not the gore it self

second to the left is what I wear whole spring.

The trick is that all of these men have a masculine build. If they were skinny faggots everyone would laugh. Guy in the middle is pushing it

You wear a sweater over a blazer? What a doofus

chadimus maximus can wear anything and pull tail likes it's going extinct

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Then I dunno what to tell you. /fa/ mostly appeals to late 20s or 30s women imo.

I can wear anything but loose clothes and get looks.

Damn pests i'm running out of love juice

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Middle is how I dress to work in Finance for PWC.

I like small and cheap stuff as a memento if franchises I really like, like a keychain to hang over the hanger over my desk, but I can’t really comprehend people who buy those special edition box things for well over a hundred bucks
Maybe I’m not a big enough of a vidya enthusiast to understand

To be honest the kind of girls i date are weirdos who'd be into it.

/fa/ is a hollow pursuit if you aren't /fit/ desu

>being so chad you don't even need socks

But theres no reason to even bother being /fa/ if you are already /fit/ as girls will still like you even in shitty clothes if you are /fit/

girls just don't understand

>it's the last thing she sees before everyone on her contacts gets a snuff video sent to them from her phone
>her headless torso is later recovered from a local reservoir
>it's stuffed full of funko pops
>the tacky plastic shit killer has struck again

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models dont count since they could look most things look good

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with a more interesting dress shirt and darker pants, you could get away with this if you're fucking smoking hot and can pull off the daddy businessman look, but otherwise, wear some jeans, regular trainers, and a more casual blazer, or you'll look like a mormom as someone said.

there's a bare minimum you need to reach even when fit

I imagine he wears it under it. I dont think you could really wear a sweater over a blazer. It would look retarded

prob because you look like a fucking autistic person mate.

Chads don't sweat so no socks needed.

you dress like a 60 year old guy

is that twomad?

I am a business person. I run my own Medical Device company with a friend I went to college with 10 years ago.

Not really true, especially as you get older.

You're much more likely to lose out on a chance to get laid by having shelves full of anime figures.

I mean, would you want to go down on a girl who had yaoi posters and Bad Dragon dildos in her room?

>18+
>still wearing torn jeans

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This is the "I Think I Remember Feeling Young Once Back in the Summer of 1995" look. Bold strategy.

Girls will always chose poorly dress fit guy over well dressed thin guy.

>girl walks into my room
>sees katana
>"I have one too"
Fucking weebs

>Not knowing the confidence that comes with being fit and attractive

I feel sorry for you.

If she wasn't a landwhale yes

depends what you mean by fit, if you're a meatman who lifts weights in a semi professional manner and aims to gain muscle mass only, most girls aren't heavily attracted to you, women like slender but muscular men, pretty much ottermode.

just walk up to young girls and throw money in their faces, you'll get one quickly

>t. faggot whose never done jeans and a sports jacket

zoomer pls

Along clock singing, theres bird spining, my on the other side swinging

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You have 10 total points to allocate between /fit/ and /fa/ How do you allocate them? 5 to each? mostly fit? mostly fa?

I mean, that's true, which is why being in shape should be your first priority. It's not even that difficult to dedicate like 30mins daily to exercise

I'm there and I used to not always be that, so I know you're spitting shit out of your ass. Confidence does not *come* with being fit and attractive, unless you are born with it.

10 to fit
Walk around naked

>tfw can't find a pair of jeans that fit well because of small waist but big thighs from cycling

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>people buy jeans pre-torn for $100

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>fit guy
>thin guy
different countries have different definitions of fit though. for americans borderline fat is what they call fit.

based

>v talking about fashion
I guarantee most of you wear anime or games t-shirts or some cringe shit

still 100 times better than anime shit

You don't have the confidence to leave your house with a rip in the knee of your jeans??? Oof...

They're often not even that into vidya. Collectors are a unique breed.
It kinda does unless you're fucked in the head. If you like yourself you have no reason not to be confident.

Whats the best stuff to wear if I have feminine body shape? I have wide hips. So mens jeans and pants never fit me properly

riptide
ripped tiddy
WOAH

I wear sneakers with Mario jumping over a Goomba on them

Fitted t shirt or collared shit, fitted jeans or black pants. That's most of my wardrobe. But I work out a lot and want to show that off.

I don't think most people on Yea Forums are that far gone honestly. There are more normies here than neets at this point

10 to /fa/

working out is for men who are too scared to dress well

stop being a reverse triangle and do pushups.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

P. F.? Is that you

I wear polo shirts and cargo pants, you decide if it is cringe

Is it possible to only be half neet? I have a job but do nothing in my free time. I just sit at home and post on Yea Forums when I'm not in work.

t. fedora tipper

I do when I go out to bars and I'm not fit but still get laid, I get off on picking up chicks while showing my power level.

>>girl walks in to your room
personal record

I'm a sheep. As soon as I saw those articles about cargo shorts popping up on Buzzfeed, I ran to my closet and threw away $1,000 worth of cargo shorts I had. I only pay attention to what Twitter tells me is cool to wear. I bought 10 pairs of skinny jeans the day I heard they were hip.

Nah that's just normal

Nice

Yes because I'm horny as fuck but I'd feel like shit afterwards

So you're a thiccboi?

Spending a ton of time on fashion is for men who are too weak to work out.

....

Is that girl gonna be okay

I'm wearing a Warcraft T under my Star Wars hoodie RIGHT NOW and there's nothing you can do about it

>too scared to be themselves

>What should I wear?
White tshirt and blue jeans. Then go to the gym, faggot

Youll need a sense of style and taste in clothes Im afraid.
If you lack that, you can buy extremely expensive clothing (which mostly exists so rich people without any taste can look good)
Alternatively, go shopping with a female friend and let her advise you on what suits you best.

Butw hatever you do; If you want girls, you'll have to develop your own personality. Neither /fa/ not /fit/ will get you anything besides a bit of Tinder prostitution if you are the human equivalent to wet cardboard.

Eh, I prefer pic related. Makes me feel like a big guy.

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I wear whatever I find cool at zumiez, skater clothing has so far been sick since the day it began.

Yes. The girl behind her is her friend and she knows the girl in front is too hot and it's dangerous to sweat when it's that cold outside so she's going to cut a few emergency holes in her clothing. It's for the best. She'll repair the clothes when they get home and make a hot pot.

Independent trucks shirts 4eva

You can make literally the same argument about putting so much effort into dressing up retard. I thought skinny fags were supposed to be smart

>buying a bunch of expensive and stylish clothes to impress people
>going to the gym and doing stuff you probably don't want to do in order to impress people
Either way you're a fucking loser

Flame shirt
Flame cargo shorts
Flame socks and flame sandals
Frost the tips of your hair to balance your scorching good wardrobe

>tfw too poor to be dr pavel im cia

Now you only need to get that sweet HRT and snip off your cock. Its all the rage according to twitter!

FLAVORTOWN

nice thread dreail

who you pull is 95% in the face, so you're probably just average-ugly like everyone else here.

You could also go to the gym because you don't want to double over with back pain at 35 whenever you get out of bed, you know. And I've yet to meet a girl that said "I'm sorry user, but you simply have TOO much stamina. I need a guy that wheezes and chokes after 10 seconds of pumping".

>That sweater with a collared shirt
>Military boots to a business casual attire

Am*ricans always look like they never leave their house. Even our village hicks are dressed better

I would like to know you weight,height and fat percentage to call you a fat fag.

No absolutely not. I'm not working out. Far too lazy. I just don;t eat much so remain skinny

we've got a hot head over here

Doing it for health is fine, never said it wasn't. But getting fit for the main purpose to impress people is a fucking retarded thing to do.

>Makes me feel like a big guy
For you, perhaps

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only youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Jokes on her I don't collect stupid shit

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Yeah, I realized that after I typed all that out. My bad.

>Even our village hicks are dressed better
For you

What you going to do? Report me to the mods like a little bitch snitch?

just look up pics of "mens fashion" and check out the dudes
if you think they look like dorks then thats how EVERYONE sees them
if they look like attractive dudes part of that is the clothes

a basic ez fashion tip is get some black jeans and a nice dark coat
simple tho during the summer you cant cheat like that

Why are zoomers so bad at trolling Anons? I swear to God your moves are so weak.

>because you don't want to double over with back pain at 35 whenever you get out of bed
heavy weights do that to you, I know a few gym dwellers in late 30s, they got back and knee pains already
self weight, done properly, is the best way to keep yourself healthy.

>unless you are over 40?
It looks like shit even if you are over 40. You're just not a target anymore so it doesn't matter.

Me being fat doesn't make your argument any less shit

You know people who had shitty form. There's a dude in his 70s at my gym, who lifts as much as some of the young guys and has been doing it his whole life.

A D I D A S
D
I
D
A
S

you should have three stripes connecting from your beret to the shoes otherwise you are not tryharding enough

Then you're undisciplined and weak. You are basically pussy repellent.
I hope you don't drown in MILF yeast lmao

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>stamina
That shit is overrated. I have the least stamina out of everyone I've ever worked with yet I still outwork most of them.

nice advice dad

You see there are two kinds of willpower. The will power to do things such as lifting weights which I find difficult. And then the willpower to not do things such as smoking or drinking alcohol or taking drugs or over eating which I find very easy. So I am disciplined when it comes to abstaining from things.

DON'T SHAKE THE BABY

90% of fitards have shitty form, there is that 80yo chinese model that can do acrobatics or something - edge cases don't count.
not to mention it's useless shit to look "good". want to be strong do judo,boxing or karate not that gay lifting.

How about these?

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>I have the least stamina out of everyone I've ever worked with yet I still outwork most of them.
how much is 2+2, user?

If anything stamina is under rated. Too many young dudes concentrate solely on weight lifting to look swole, when the real secret is cardio and high stamina. If you can't outrun the dude with the knife, what good are your huge pecs

Just be rich. Then you can wear whatever wacky clothes you want and nobody will care.

We're all shallow cunts here fatty, don't pretend you wouldn't feel good if a thot went up to you and complimented your body

if youre tan and want to attract latinas
otherwise stear clear, a non-tan dude trying for the ched look is instant girl repellant

What kind of motorcycle you got user? Is that a harley?

You'll never fight. Looking good affects numerous aspects of your life. Love, career, social life. It affects it all. If you get in a fight in an alley some day then judo might help, other than that why bother?

The women in their 30s keep touching me at work and one of them tickled me this week. Should I report them to HR?

Unless you're hunting for MILFs and desperate single mothers, dress for people around your age instead idiot

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>i don't know how bodies work
You don't run your body until it reaches 0 then refill on energy user. Therefor people have more stamina then they use. I have less stamina, but have the willpower to use up more of my stamina before I quit... What the fuck do they teach you in school these days?

how about this chair?

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Absolutely right

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what does wearing torn jeans have to do with being fit and attractive

fug

because stamina, health,and body are better than from lifting.
lifters look ugly, fighters look great
lifting is for idiots that can't into fighter regiment.

How would you even know they have more stamina then?

FUCK YOU

>Girl gamers SIT DOWN

Being out of shape and unattractive has a high correlation with low self-esteem. Shocking, I know.

No motorcycle just wanna look like majima

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Gonna need a hydraulic jack for the girl gamers to rise up in that chair

I just do cardio. No weight lifting

I do get compliments and never been to the gym a day in my life cocknuts, how about not being a piece of shit because we all know that's the real reason why you need the gym, it's a crutch

>You see there are two kinds of willpower.
There's no such thing. You may resist the temptations of drugs, but you're obviously a slave to the most addicting drug of all, lethargy.
Really, unless you work 14+ hours or you are a professional ga,er, there's no reason for you to ignore the needs of your body

Because the green bar that hovers over their heads depletes faster than his does duh.

>If you can't outrun the dude with the knife
Learn martial arts? 99% of people don't know how to use a knife properly, and the other 1% aren't likely to be using their knife skills on you. A half hour course is enough to teach people how to deal with your usual shitty knife wielder. Guns on the other hand are something you could be better off running away from, and even someone with shitty stamina will likely be safe after a few seconds of running. People have shitty aim believe it or not...

I have severe sleep apnea. I start the day dead tired and continue that way throughout the day. I don't know what getting tired feels like since I'm constantly at that state. If you don't have more stamina than me, you might as well be dead.

>dress for people around your age instead idiot

no one else dresses their age outside of professional environments why the fuck should I?

Let's see. Hmm... Spend 15 years training at a dojo with Master Wong Fu to become a black belt and get my feet certified as lethal weapons, or maybe have a jog once in awhile and weight train with high reps, low weight when I feel like it. Hmm... decisions decisions.

99% of instructors say "see a knife -run" though first thing in class. anti knife techniques are unreliable at best, dangerous and involve high precision at worst

Sure you do pal, how many goodboy points do you have right now?

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>>girl welcomes me home
Why would you lie on an anonymous image board user?

Then lose weight or get an APAP machine. You're only hurting yourself for no reason

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I think we need more harsh punishments for criminals. All violent crimes should be death penalty without question.

Again, both those things take longer than the 30 minute class it takes to learn how to defend yourself against knives. You aren't trying to strawman me with that 15 year comment are you? Naw, you aren't that much of an idiot.

BEFORE YOU GO-GO

What were we talking about?

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Farsan skickade precis den här bilden utan något meddelande. Vad svarar man?

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fashion

lmao Yea Forums threads seem to rarely ever stay on topic. what the fuck is even happening in here

>t.

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>girl walks in to your room
>implying any of you pathetic fucks would ever be able to talk to a girl much less have one (willingly) go into your room

yeah you'd feel like shit becasue you would have zombie AIDS

kek!

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>99% of instructors say "see a knife -run"
You are thinking of guns user. If you are in range of a knife then running isn't much help. Again, people aren't that good with knives so all you gotta do is make their job harder than stabbing a lifeless dummy. If you are that close with either a knife or a gun, your first move should be to attack, depending on the outcome, you either continue attacking or you run. Unless you are dealing with some high tier martial artist, no one is generally able to react to you properly when you make the first move that quickly. Even cops get shot due to being the first person to have their gun pulled. If you think 99% of instructors are teaching this, then those instructors need to get a new job.

Topic was shitty, so we're talking about fashion/aesthetics instead. Go back to Plebbit if you want to discuss about vidya, filthy casual

you like kicking dead horses?

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I can pretty much guarantee I look better than you. There's no body you can achieve with fighting that you can't get with lifting.

Just move in with your gf bro

>lose weight
That isn't the issue.

>CPAP machine
I don't respond well to them. Already tried. I'm SOL in that department.

>Cmon I know what will work for you because I'm a random user that knows better than multiple doctors you've seen

I’m not wasting time reading your shitty replies but this special edition was cancelled because it’s “controversial”

6 /fit/
4 /fa/

>I only seem to ever get women in their 30s and 40s interested in me
[X] Doubt

Kaki is for losers

>>girl walks in to your room

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Karlskrone?

>not to mention it's useless shit to look "good
it adds to charisma and therefore makes your life easier. people treat you better and with more respect.

t. went from skelly to /fit/

IT'S AWWWRIIIIIGHT

>used jeans a shitload of times
>it torns on the wrong places

>Cmon I know what will work for you because I'm a random user that knows better than multiple doctors you've seen
Doctors nowadays only "practice medicine." Did you at least try an APAP or did they recommended you for surgery?
I really find it unbelievable that they would just let you suffer like this. You're either lying, your doctors are shit, or there's a mental issue keeping you up at night like guilt or regret.
Show me a receipt of your last sleep study so I can be sure you're not trying to troll here

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Not him but I wear Kaki at work in HR. Just for work though.

old women way past their time of value want sugar
young women are too retarded to like you

I only ever had a girl once be in my room when I brought her home from college and she made fun of me for having video game posters but then in the morning after sleeping together she said the posters were cute and that I should leave them up. Why do women change mind so quickly?

>there's a mental issue keeping you up at night like guilt or regret.
you're getting warmer

your dick game was on point so she stopped giving a fuck

Its banter you fucking retards. Why are you all so fucking autistic. None of you understand playful teasing at all.

>I don't want to be fit.
Why would a man do such punishment to his future self?

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FUCK you roastie, how am I supposed to know

maybe his dick game was on point tho

hope you dress well at your funeral too you fucking faggot

>incel thinks he’s the final authority on woman’s thoughts
She was judging you. Clearly you not giving a fuck and give her the penis worked well enough for her to stop being a bitch

Has anyone made one of these with a hobo?

DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN ON LIKE A YO-YO

(unprompted) I hate women!

10 to /fit/ and take my gf out to shop my clothes with me.

>Socrates
I'm never taking health advice from someone that ended up dying anyway

Why do girls like talking about clothes so much? I work in an office of mostly women and they spend half the day talking about clothes or hairstyles

I don't see the issue.

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she was testing you. you passed. good job owning up to your interests.

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Me:
>wide hips
>man boobs
>4 inch dick
>5'10
>160 pounds
Theres no girl ever coming near me

All 10 to /fit/. Fashion is just a crutch for ugly people. Think about it this way: How would you like your ideal girl to allocate her points? Obviously you'd want the hot body and not give a shit what her clothes look like. Now why do you think girls don't think the same way?

so what posters we talking here? Bing Bing wahoo, DUDE I'M SO MATURE or, PANTSU QUEST THE RECKONING

Cause they’re dumb lol

just be a transbian

>girl walks in to your room
he he silly op he he

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that's nothing, HE CALLED US FAT!

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Mario, Assassins Creed, Zelda and GTA

You just know unless you're socially retarded.

so normieshit

eh

It's called a "shit test", look it up. Women do it all the time.

Big asses.

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Literally surface tier normie shit lol

Why though? whats the purpose?

has anyone came on this?

They’re whores.

She was a stacy who thinks all video games are for nerds.

That game sucks

i walk right up to kim and kiss her, tell her i miss her, hayley just smiles and winks at her little sister

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>Ah... Yes. I see you have found (it)
>Would you like to have a look mis
>I have more you know~
>Do you like stake and ale pie with father beans *chatters teeth*

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>girl walks into room
>girl is into guro loves it
>already has a boyfriend

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She’s not wrong. Dirty whores should stay the fuck away from our hobby.

I mainly wear dark blue jeans, well-fitting solid color tshirts and a pair of other-than-black converse or some boots. Either a plain hooded sweatshirt or a plain jersey that is thin enough I'm not overheating.

Winter is pretty much boot time with a thicker jersey or nice coat. I fear I'm boring but it works well enough or so I feel.

Hmm very interesting

8 /fit/ 2 /fa/
As long as your clothes fit nice they'll look fine

Why did she go in your room if she already had a boyfriend?

Ok, you got me you cunt.

All women are whores.

At least lose the khakis for some dark demin, and drop the blazer for another kind of jacket.

were friends

Just like in my darkest NTR doujins.

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this smells ffineee i d kpno weadfsdfb

>girl walks in to your room
>sees this

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Never understood the stigma around this collectible. Looks like campy fun to me. Also no one would care one fuck if it was a guy's torso.

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Whats wrong with blazers?

So did any of you titfuck this thing?

>wear tshirts and basketball shorts because college

>kidnapping old negroes for the rape dungeon

what kinda brainlet uses the power of chloro on anyone that isn't a cute young girl

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Now I take her here.

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I invited a girl to my room once but i put my plushes away because i thought she would think it was weird. post coitus she snoops in my closet for a shirt and pulls out a giant Kirby I have and ended up cuddling with it overnight. not my feet

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>girl walks in to your room
>sees this

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Cringe

Jesus Christ I am on a healthy diet, doing regular cardio and intermittent fasting and I would chow that shit down with no regrets. It should be called "bypass" on the menu though.

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I'd find some one being a Vall-hala fan a bigger red flag than the fate/go anime figure

Nice humblebrag normie

>normie

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What makes you think I am a normie?

>weekend nights gaman with buddies
>one of the guys doesn't use push to talk and his british chubby gf keeps talking to him in the typical nasal way bong women do all the time
>have to listen to this disgusting bitch in my favourite hobby time where i'm trying to stay away from bitches in general
>just shout thot begone whenever she talks
>dude eventually mutes himself and has a common friend chew me out the day after for telling his gf off

fuck niggas and fuck bitches

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Make me newfag

Going off about your healthy lifestyle choices like this was some gay bodybuilding forum

Absolutely nothing, but it's not something I would wear everywhere.

t. abdul al baghdadi

More like women don't understand playful teasing but do it anyway.

Why would anyone take a girl to the movies as a date?

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t. cuckold “big cuck” mccuckson

>cuddlecucked by kirby
incredible

you've had sex

>I'll do a preemptive strike and call him a newfag that'll disguise my reddit faggotry
>uses reddit spacing in the same post

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Is it banter if a girl makes fun of you for having a small dick?

nah he was just her little spoon

one on far left looks like a fucking jojo character

Keep digging that hole, newfag.

Yeah, she's just trying to convince you to fuck her harder with your actually big dick (you don't ACTUALLY have a small dick do you?)

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I wish that came out.

Its 4 inches erect

>dead people give horrible advice
>because they're dead

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Only newfags call other anons newfags.

Jō Ogura had sex.

>stow it on a shelf with a bunch of horror movie memorabilia instead of leaving it isolated
>normalfags probably wouldn't even bat an eye
It's a tacky knick-knack to be keeping in your room, sure, but it isn't exactly as wince-inducing as a massive display of Pop Vinyls would be.

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He's right, no one who came here before 2010 or so would say "normie"

I seriously have no idea why the fuck they made this. It’s disgusting and who does it appeal to?

You obviously came here after 2010 lol.

2007. I'm cancer but not as bad as you lmao.

> no u r the newfag
fucking liberal NPCs

why is the paint chipping off the nipples

It's just something women do to keep us down. Try not to worry too much about it. Not because it's not true, it very might be, but it also doesn't matter. They'd say the same shit even if you were objectively a big guy, and it would make you just as insecure because its in our nature.

>turns 360 degrees and walk away

>25
>still virgin. While younger friends and brother already married and have kids

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Maybe you should have sex if it bothers you being a virgin.

Your memory must be failing

the bottom bun should've been a donut with a slice of american cheese under the fries.

>that fucking baby weighing game on Wii Party
>lil faggots just keep crying until someone else magically wins
>mfw find out ITT there's a dedicated "controller" for that shit

fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off

my condolences
left to right once, up and down twice rinse repeat. suction on clit occasionally but not too often unless she is asking for it aka. she is about to climax

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Sorry I’m not gay

Literally this, it's not that hard not matter how fat, ugly and autistic you are. Someone, somewhere is just as desperate as you.

>While younger friends and brother already married and have kids
be fucking grateful you didn't throw away your 20s for a little puss

And then she checks it for semen stains and realizes you're Muslim.

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>cunnilingus
>gay

And why isn't there a fried chicken breast on top of the pizza?

What's the point of wearing clothes? You'll have to undress to go to bed anyway. What a waste of time and energy, Desu.

virgin detected

>The only thing that is actually still unacceptable are anime figure with extremely huge boobs

This is why you don't date normies in the first place. Know your limits and you'll be happy.

Putting your mouth where dozens of cocks have been is gay. Confirm with your dad.

fag detected

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same, and I don't give a fuck

I wonder how many people would smell it if you did this irl. It's only a prank bro.

I buy them, then I take the game out of the box, and leave everything else. Sometimes I even just pirate the game and leave the box as is.

Any of you boomers remember watching that clip of Ryan Davis shaking that doll?

>"So.. ready to play that Rance game I told you about, babe?

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The right answer

Girls don't care. As long as your room is somewhat acceptable and clean.

haha virgin

10 to fit.
You can just google /fa/ and copy people.

>500 yen for a shitty hotdog

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most of them buy what their mom gets them

Good thing is you don't need to brush your teeth when wearing such boots because no woman will come close to you anyway.

I would leave instantly

Left is the only decent fit.

Middle is best

>cooking mama
>babysitting
What's cooking tonight?

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Well yeah, it does smell as if somethhbnp0ebmnja

Anime shirts are for when Im at home, I have a decent street ware collection for going out, but I will admit I am lacking in "fancy" cloathes.

I wear plain black t-shirts and blue jeans, no turtle neck.

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Shirts like these make girls jump on my dick.

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I lost 10+ kg with the OMAD diet and lifting.
Get bro

Are you otter mode? I never thought about it but the leather pants with those boots is a really nice look even if its out of date.

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Just let your girlfriend decide what you're gonna wear she knows better than you

that's what I do

doubt

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>Putting your mouth where dozens of cocks have been
>being with a slut

baby back ribs

>man boobs at 160 and 5'10
Bruh how the fuck. Im 220 5'11 and I don't have man boobs (granted I do lift).

Yea but Kirby is based

>girl walks in to your room

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>hawaiian shirt
>jeans/khakis
>thrift store jacket when it's cold
optional
>cigar
>top two buttons unbuttoned
>chest hair
>facial hair

Middle is putrid, he has a twink body while trying to pull off a power suit.

She was a Mystery Girlfriend X.

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the only girl that has ever walked into my room was my chad brother's hot wife

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>sculpture featuring the only thing that roasties are good for
You can't make that shit up!

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>25
>fucked hookers
>one of them pulled the condom off, tests came back negative but I need to still go get the follow up for hep/HIV
>so basically I'm fucked forever
Don't do it user it's really not worth the bug scare

>hot pink stringer tank with "HOMO" printed across it
Kind of want desu.

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>Wear dark jackets, band shirts, jeans, and meme sneakers
>Go to the gym regularly
>Eat clean and healthy
>Receive zero compliments from women
>Receive nearly daily compliments from dudes

I guess I should just go gay at this point. I haven't tried Tinder yet. Don't like taking pictures of myself.

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>girl walks into my room
>becomes that

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you sound like a pretty sound lad desu though, always better to have mates instead of thots lad

You got s o y'd on?

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>I'm a big fan of the horror genre, talk about how it's related to some more normie zombie flicks or something
>transition into watching night of the living dead or something sometime

Pretty much a non-issue although that statue is absolutely disgusting and no one should have one in their room. If you have a meme goth-type gf they might think it's cool or at least pretend it is.

You sound like the regular bland dude.

Maybe don't see insane bitches who pull condoms off.

Apparently theres been some new HIV therepies that came out this year that are really promising.
Don't give up hope user!

Commie detected

You'd think. It's not bad until your bros ditch you to chase tail

Yeah probably. I'd much rather watch a movie or play an old school RPG than getting drunk at a bar.

>Be communist
>Get qt senator bitches on your dick

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I WANT AN EDGE THOT TO RIM MY ASS HOLE.

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Well on the plus side by being sorta generic your garenteed to someday get someone.

I love living in a country where prostitution is legal and you don't have to risk AIDS every time you go to one.

>Don't give up hope user!
I gave up hope seeing the hooker all this did was confirm I'll be fucking hookers until I die

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Why do you care?
Honest question.

>being jealous of people YOUNGER THAN 25 that have already destroyed their life

are you retarded or something? why would you ever feel bad about that? have you even seen marriage/divorce stats? most people 18-25 don't even know what they want to do at college for 4 years, let alone pick a partner for the rest of their lives; they'll end up fucked over by alimony and separation court fees and stress about being cucked/dumped for the rest of their lives over 60% of the time

if i flipped a coin that had more than a 50/50 chance to land on heads, and told you that i'm going to steal a bunch of your shit and then beat you nearly to death if it lands on heads, would you flip that coin? i wouldn't

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Yeah fuck this boomer moral outrage, these things would be safer if they were regulated. Should've gone to Nevada or Denmark in hindsight

not the same user but if you think i knew the answer i'd be here?

I’d be just as confused as her, what the fuck is that and why is it in my bedroom?

>Dress up like CIA as a joke once
>people actually compliment me
bros what

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Uh, what.

Heh ur next when I rip you in half with my giant dong ;)

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while we are at it why don't we adapt emotional prostitution? if this point i don't even need the sex i have my own hand for that. i just would like a cute girl to treat me like I'm not a worthless piece of shit once in a while.

I know I'm this piece of shit, does pointing it out think you'll fix it? There's enough creature comforts to keep me stated until I probably blow my brains out

I see "escorts" all the time but they're the ultra-safe "woke" types who constantly post on twitter about how brave and rebellious they are. They would freak the fuck out at anything even remotely unsafe during sex.

Why are you jealous of them? Marrying under 25 is stupid as fuck

green is a faggot for wanting a yamato nedeshiko and purple is a cunt for assuming he is incapable of changing

I unironically wear tanktops, shorts and my work boots year round.

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Projection: the image

The fact that you're at least honest and realistic about it rather than just being a seething bitter delusional autist already makes you more desirable and less pathetic than 99% of Yea Forums

Retarded edit. He obviously is disgusted by her because she uses gamepads instead of mouse aim.

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Those are cuddle cafes in japan and quite frankly I don't know if I can stoop to that level of trying to delude myself. I honestly like it better at this point that women are visibly disgusted at me than non-responsive, at least it's a reaction

>green is an asshole for wanting someone to tend to his needs
>purple isn't because........

"Edge thots" are gross and probably under demonic influence.

Yeah I saw some asian lady who barely spoke english at a mid scale hotel, I don't know what the fuck she was doing

>People who are ugly on the outside are also ugly on the inside.
Who woulda thunk

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>already makes you more desirable and less pathetic
Don't try to be a hero or savior or something, fuck off

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Man don't think of it like that.
Physical affection is a need like anything else.
Think of it like a massage, don't let peoples stuck up ideas about sex warp you.

FTFY

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>green wants to be loved
>purple need someone who will provide her with any of her needs

I'm not trying to delude myself, I see it as potentially confidence boosting. My problem is trust issues brought about previous shitty relationships not to mention a crippling fear of even holding a door for a woman because of hyper outrage culture over every little thing. Why the fuck should I be nice when most women are just going to see me as either a doormat or an ATM.

She's saying the same thing as him without the extra caption, retard-kun.

it's still framing it like she is in the right and he isn't

Let women be outraged at you, at least they recognize your existence

There are some decent agencies in my city that apparently have great asian pussy if you want that, personally I dislike agencies and only fuck white chicks but I can't say I haven't been tempted. I don't see any escort unless they have multiple good reviews on escort review boards, a website and an active twitter presence so I can see if they're a huge cunt or not (a large amount of them do nothing but bitch about clients if clients do even the slightest thing to bother them).

>male father

maybe English isn't your first language, but the word "father" already implies being male.

If you need any other english tips just let me know. Good luck to you

seething churchkuk

>Why the fuck should I be nice when most women are just going to see me as either a doormat or an ATM.
Cause you should be nice for the sake of being nice. If they have a problem with you holding a door that's thier own insecurity. You know that you're not holding the door in an effort to fuck her or because shes a women but just because its the polite thing to do.

No you dumb cunt, how fucking gone do you have to be to reach that conclusion?

> but the word "father" already implies being male.

You should educate yourself and be more progressive and open minded

Purple isn't even attractive to a desperate incel which makes her a complete failure as a woman. Even a 5/10 could easily seduce and infatuate the average loser guy, any woman who can't is pure cat lady material.

I should but I live in an extremely dry area for the time being. Cops are on some Nazi level shit with stings and we're a small enough place as it is we get actual escorts maybe once a month if we're lucky

this

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Shared an Image of this and I was Banned from a tranny "Gamer" discord for "guro". Yeah fuck Discord

Speaking of dreams anyone else not able to have sex in dreams?
I get 9/10ths of the way there everytime and then wake up everytime im about to enter

t. wears streetwear

reminder never take fashion advice from Yea Forums or you end up with retards like this

I have some animu figures from when I was a teenager and no girl has ever cared beyond lightly teasing me over it. If a girl is already willing to fuck you shit like this isnt a deal breaker

what is the definition of "father" to you?

Because if it's doing "manly" things then I don't think you are being very progressive or open minded either

I've masturbated like 3 times a day since freshman year college and I'm pushing 26 now so nah same

>"Haha user, I like Horror and Zombie movies too!"

I keep constantly dreaming of having sex with my sister when she was younger. It's starting to get pretty uncomfortable

>tfw authentic mallgoths and subculture sluts are all extinct
I want to go back in time, lads.

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God, I love big, floofy hair.
Chicks still do this in their 20s, right? I need some of this medicine, doc.

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>Cause you should be nice for the sake of being nice.
yeah that outlook kept me a virgin until my apprenticeship days. Again I know the difference between being a nice guy and a "nice guy" but neither has served me well.

>d-dress your age!
>plain white everything and jeans
fuck, it's the most boring person on the planet

the way you dress reflects what kind of person you are, and people are drawn to someone who puts the slightest effort into looking good and presentable. you on the other hand seem like a pussy, too afraid to put yourself out there, so you literally go for the most bland and uninspired clothes possible. you're probably some robot-minded autist too if you're so utilitarian and cold that you find no issue with dressing like what you just posted

>Having a saucy wet dream
>Railing some hot girl
>Just as my dream is coming to a close I avert my gaze and the hot girls turns into my mom
>I stop, we both laugh and then I wake up
It's too fucking goofy to even be embarrassed desu.

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me too and at this point I feel like I'm addicted and have porn-induced erectile disfunction.

I’ll never forget to trailer for the first Dead Island. Shit looked fucking amazing until they revealed the gameplay. I thought it would have this compelling story narrative about a family trying to survive a zombie attack on their vacation.

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>how fucking gone do you have to be to reach that conclusion?
more than you think, less than you know

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>Ah yes. Walking. The human activity. As opposed to running. Used for escape

You have nocturnal emissions because your body's trying to get rid of semen. I did nofap in high school because I was one of those faggots that tried to turn my life around after katawa shoujo came out and that's the closest I really ever got to a wet dream or a relationship

I see what you mean

really? if anything my issue is that I edge off too often. i only actually come like once a day if that.

*raises paw*

I used to have wet dreams back in high school before I discovered fapping. I should make it my ambition to stop fapping and have another one

By my sister when she was younger I'm talking when she was 13(she's 28 now). It's uncomfortable because I've never got off on pedo shit or loli in my waking life. Makes me slightly concerned but I guess as long as I don't tell anyone irl it doesn't matter

The image clearly paints them both in a negative light. The woman comes off comparatively light because whoever did the edit is probably a man so he can relate and see the faults in his fellow men more easily.

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>girl walks in to your room
dude you know where you are, right?

>now take your shirt off and stand next to it
>...nope, your bust is smaller
>sorry im going to have to ask you to leave

no the woman HAS to look dumb and evil and bad and the man HAS to look reasonable and suffering and victimized and righteous or I get very angry

but he's already living with her

>Again I know the difference between being a nice guy and a "nice guy" but neither has served me well.
Then you know that's not my point being nice and expecting something doesn't work because most people can see through it.
Not to mention nice isn't a trait for attraction its a fucking baseline. People are expected to be nice, you need another hook to be interesting.

Who not gay here? youtu.be/sMbRhHqfhPI

This is very clearly only criticizing one very specific type of man. If you look at it and think it's a criticism of all men and you get mad about it then there's a very good chance you're That Guy

Sex in dreams is extremely uncommon. You can only get them if you are feeling lustful but you do not know what you want to give lust on. This is the reason Porn can harm your mind, as porn allows you to feel lust for it almost all the time. Cut out the porn in every way possible and start trying to wank with you subconcious. If you don't get results, Enter No-Fap.

Having a girlfriend also helps as long as she is not jerking you off.

To this day i dont understand the outrage behind this, are fucking normalfags like op actually triggered by this, its because the tits? the price? whats exactly the problem? in game you can go and dismember any zombie including whemen it was one of the selling points of the game, letting the meh quality of the prop i would definetly put something like that on my room and no fucking shit ass retard like op has a say in what i like or not or what i use as decoration in my fucking house. Fuck off.

About a year ago I had a dream about sex with my mom that was the most intense erotic dream I've ever had. Waking up I remembered all these vivid physical sensations like feeling her weight on top of me and her hot breath on my neck.
I still fap to the memory.

excuse me bigot but women can be fathers too

I watch porn, I typically fap most days. Will sometimes, though rarely, even get a wet dream if I've fapped that day.

I often get dreams about fucking my petite Aunt, I always wake up just before I cum though, then I gain consciousness as I'm spurting cum everywhere.

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Most people on Yea Forums dress like shit.
Don't let these faggots tell you how old people dress this way, they still have mommy dress them.

Why would anyone choose that on purpose and get completely fucked with alimony and child support if they split up with the mother? The smarter option is to say that you both are the mother and get the state to pay.

I'm not that bothered what people here are saying about me. I run my own Medical Device company with a friend I went to college with. I feel like I need to dress somewhat formally for this sort of position.

people are fuming about what the purple girl says while anons in this very thread are admitting to having sexual fantasies about their mothers

I was able to lucid dream the other day!

It was a morning and I was dreaming something where I was trying to read a sign and just couldn't read it, which made me go "Wait. If I can't read this, that must mean it's a dream".

It was hard to stay in control and not just let the mind wander, but I did manage to fuck former coworkers, childhood friends and other. It was great!

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Spin around in a circle next time, it helps you stay asleep.

Nice, still haven't quite managed lucid dreaming yet. I am definitely remembering more dreams lately though. I've been on antidepressants a while and they are giving me some weird fucking dreams