Honk

should i play ss13
and if yes, how do i play

sec to surgery
he's turning her into a papa john's

Fuck off ssethtiders

>you can't consent to being a pizza

Lel. Only contrarians hate sseth. Some of his vids are pure gold.

>Dude, what if I, like, took Mandaloregaming's videos and added unfunny reddit humor to them?
Sseth is shit, faggot. Go back.

I'm talking about oneyplays, i don't even know what you're talking about, sounds fucking gay

That clown got his revenge for being pushed

Don't have sex

HoPs who give full access to clowns should be gassed

No honk, two hundred credit fine.

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a quick reminder that clowns ,although being only 13% of stations personel commit over 50% od all crime

cope

Someone thought this shit was a good idea. What the actual fuck

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you people are cancer incarnate

Oneyplays put out an SS13 video only a few hours ago. Ssethtide 2?

>tfw want to make cool stuff as chemist and mechanic but not creative enough

Oney has his own server

That ending was perfect

I lost my shit

what is WgW

lurk more

>not welcoming the resurgence of SS13

I played SS13 a long time ago and Sseth inspired me to pick it up again.

Admiral Hippie is the only ss13 youtube channel worth anything.

>sec guns me down for being a suspected traitor
>drags me to cloning after he finds out I have no traitor items on me
>abandons me to chase down a clown with a pie cannon
>janiborg tosses my body in a bodybag to get it out of the floor
>chef takes it because he figures bodybag = already cloned
>was actually traitor the whole time, being cloned would have put me next to my last target with enough TCs to buy a few bombs

Is SS13 free? I got a new laptop recently and it isn't made for playing games (can barely run tf2) but this game looks obviously not demanding at all and I wanna try it and get up to shenanigans

>can't for the life of me play "correctly" and do my job
>always get permabanned within a week for dumb stuff like breaking windows and getting on the wrong side of oldfags

It is free, yeah. Only thing to know is if your internet connection isn't the best, it's gonna combine with BYOND being a shitty platform and lag the fuck out on occasion. Download the BYOND launcher, make an account, then close the launcher and never open it again, just launch directly from the site of whatever server you want to play on

better internet is more important than a good computer for it

Nvm Google told me it's free, thanks google
>Game about finding out who the traitors are
>Do things that are suspicious when not even the traitors
>Get banned for not following the rules
>"what the fuuuuuck, what'd I do??"

DSP is that you?

Hey hey

Thanks frens, internet shouldn't be a problem, I've got a pretty stable connection almost constantly

>i hate humor
Ok retard

It's not even that he's being suspicious, a lot of roles assistants do things regularly that would be suspicious otherwise, the issue is by being a shitler they're making the game worse for other people without having the excuse of being a traitor

>try to learn engineer
>engineer works completely different on the server you're on than the wiki explains even though they're both /tg/ servers
>finally find some newer youtube gameplay video of new engineering
>finally manage to convince HoP to stop sucking dick for a microsecond to change you to an engineer
>Can't do shit because all other engineer players are vets that do all the work for you
>try praciticing another job
>Station goes up in flames 5 minutes in, because no engineers doing their job

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Honestly engineer is a shit job to try and learn. The only things they do that the average chucklefuck with a toolbox doesn't is setting up the engine and solars, and once both of those are done they require close to no upkeep. Honestly, once power is up and running, if there's at least 2 other engineers/CE available I generally just space myself and look for loot

I've been playing on goonstation but want to try out tgstation. Is it a lot more complicated?

Should've ahelped.

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

...

>be clown
>decide to go hunting for bananium on lavaland because the server is boring
>HoP gives me access in the hopes that I get eaten out there
>walk onto shuttle out, moth asshole miner drags me out, I go back in and leave
>moth starts complaining on the comms that a clown is in lavaland, HoP says I have access and to fuck off
>moth gets pissy, starts making threats towards the HoP
>HoP messages every assistant on the station and offers them a job in mining, plus all access if they can bring back 10k points worth of ore
>mining ffills up with a dozen recruits, moth starts breaking windows in the mining station to try and flush them out
>sec drags the moth back to the station, forgets to take their headset because shitsec
>moth whines about the HoP being incompetent over the comms
>HoP has sec grab the moth's PDA and demotes him to assistant because mining has enough people now
Glorious

I would have, but honestly no one person did anything wrong. Plus a pair of blood brothers started making plasma golem shells pretty soon afterwards and I decided to cut my losses

It's pretty compatible from what Ive seen, but my experience with Goon is limited

>ahelping over a humorous misunderstanding

L Y N C H

It's a damn shame that this game can't handle more people because everyone spergs out at the YT creators for giving it a spotlight and having fun with it

Chris knows he's gonna get a ton of shit from the community even though he went on his own server

Sec can't straight up murder you for no reason

you're the reason so many servers are no longer fun to play on

You've got me there. Honestly didn't think about it, seeing as the same officer and detective that blasted me dragged me to sec med to check me out, then to cloning when they realized I was dead dead

anyone can murder you for any reason

what are you going to do to stop them?

get them bwoinked and then banned for a day

sam.wileycomputerworks.com/SS13/audio/Leaving_TG.wav

>Hey hey people

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>tfw played ss13 before the sseth boom

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cringe

HONK~

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>find syndie ship
>turrets blast me to shit
>hack open door, the syndie NPC inside gets spaced, takes a few potshots at me before dying because whoever made the ship never gave him internals
>start fucking with the travel computer to try and either find the station or a different structure to explore
>make a jump without buckling in, the damage from falling over sends me into crit

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Amazingly I think he wound up doing more good than harm. SS13 needed some new blood in it, even if it took a few weeks to filter out the retards.

>tfw never mustered the courage to do so
>forever a ssethzoomer

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Post your Byond id

You're the reason people should harmbaton all clowns.

witty retort

As sec, I always get at least one harmbaton in on anyone I take down. Never get boinked for it either. Feels good.

You're doing god's work, son.

Birchmaster

>haven't played since possibly middle school
>a decade+ since setting foot on a spess station
>just downloaded it again
I'm probably making a huge mistake but I miss chill rounds in the bar or kitchen
I miss being part of awful cargo breakdowns
I miss that one time I was strapped to a gurney, taken to the mining station and had to sit through 2 people fucking in front of me, one of them possibly being a mime but I can't remember

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kimberly chamberlain smithers

>knew about SS13 for years but never went got into it
>afraid to do it now because everyone will think i'm a child from youtube
I liked the video itself but fuck, sseth shouldn't be this popular.

Ouroborus113

>when the mime grabbed Chris from the guard and kept running
Kino

don't forget that the best ss13 server is the one with marines fighting aliens

Just go assistant and drag crates from maint to cargo, nobody will ever question you

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Apophis is a faggot though.

>the closest thing to actual game discussion now on Yea Forums is just waiting for a shitty youtuber to make a video about a game and then the zoomer retards who watch it make a thread about it
>90% of these discussions are about the youtubers and not the game

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This “game” sounds like total garbage

>Play marines
>wander around
>Some dude spergs out because i'm not doing my role
>Locks me up for contempt
>Keeps me in a looney bin
>Forgets about me
>Die to aliens

F u n

Post stories then, faggot. Like the time I got out of war on colonial marines because the doctor said I didn't have to anymore.

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I'm afraid this new one might be the Oney tide again.

>being funny is reddit
This is why we don't make good memes anymore.

Technically this is the second time Chris has done this.

have sex

>be science sec
>steal materials from the protolathe when nobody is looking
>install a chem dispenser, booze dispenser, autolathe, arcade machine, and vending machine in my sec post
>everything's been quiet, public nanites are going smoothly, engine has been stable the entire round, no random destruction
>suddenly get message saying I feel weird
>explode
>scientist outside my post explodes
>next 20 seconds are full of the sounds of near and distant explosions
>mfw the scientist who made the nanites was a traitor and rigged them to explode
>most of the station had taken the nanites because raccoon syndrome

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No, being funny is funny
Taking someone elses footage and putting memes on top of it in exchange for money is reddit.

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>nanites
What? What retarded codebase are you on?

/tg/station, it was either on sybil or bagil

I generally don't randomly harmbaton as an officer but when I play warden I get pretty rough with prisoners who don't cooperate, especially those that insult me.

That said even when I do get rough I just use my fists and feet.

People don't respect space law. It's our job to make them fear it instead. Just get medbay to give you some meds so you can beat anyone into crit and heal them to cover your ass.

and yet I've still had it happen to me.

>security round, things are pretty smooth, catching shitters, stunning the clown, standard shift
>QM yells over the comms for security to come to mining with weapons
>roll on up with my stunbaton to get an idea of what's happening
>some asshole miner managed to drag the blood-drunk hunter onto the shuttle and now it's beating the shit out of the clown

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VORECODE
STRONG

F1 then just type shitsec. That should be all you need to do to fix it.

>tfw BYOND's bitch for life
Will we ever be free?

>tfw byond hasn't met its monthly goal in years
>tfw byond will never die

Oh yeah, as soon as whoever is working on porting it to a different engine finishes that job in 2055

Only if some mega-autist decides to write a dedicated engine and ports the whole code over.

kuroneko did nothing wrong
lifeweb deserved to get spammed with cp and taken down by the feds

??? just a mega autist is required? why hasn't it been done yet then

hey speaking of which whatever happened to unitystation?

based

>cult round, low pop server
>see a cultist in a disabler fight with sec
>run up, shove him down, steal his sword and run off
>hear a voice in my head saying 'You Don't Want to Do That'
>say fuck it and space the sword
>nar-sie gets summoned in a few minutes later because the sec team had a whole one officer and the chaplain got gibber early on

It has. It's died. ss13 only works on byond. It can't survive anywhere else.

Several mega-autists have tried, but SS13 is the game-equivalent of a mega-autist

youtube.com/watch?v=0Kx3k2_5HxM
youtu.be/gsYu0FSIFmY

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youtube.com/watch?v=HZt11eC2L3E

what is it with 4chins and hyper contrarianism

youtube.com/watch?v=-sl-ya3jGUs

>looking back at all the remake projects that started years ago
>none of them progressed any in that time
>SS3D looked really good but the guy making it dropped off the face of the earth so no one else can pick it up

You were a mistake

they think Sseth steals all of his content and fakes a huge list of donators to make people more likely to donate to him

The curse

store.steampowered.com/app/544550/Stationeers/

>make an amanita cake
>set it on the kitchen counter
>watch as 3 people in a row walk up, eat a slice, then yell to sec about the chef poisoning people
>sec officer walks up, eats a slice of the cake, says that "there's definitely poison in the amanita cake slices' over sec radio
>HoS says 'Amanita IS poison, you dumbasses' over the main comms

youtu.be/d2xkpz-26jM

>Hey you want some poison cake?
>Yeah sure.
>Wtffff there is poison in the cake! Seeeeec....
Absolutely terrific.

At the game awards one of the trailers made me think we were getting a spiritual successor for a moment.

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>wizard threatening HoP with a wand of death and demanding he be given all access
>clown drops a bar of soap, drags him backwards onto it to slip him, picks up the wand, and zap him with it, round over
Truly the hero we needed

...

I just hope that Barotrauma will be good enough to be a spiritual successor to SS13.

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Relevant, from a recent round
>1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
> 2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
>3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
>4. Honk
>5. Honk
>6. Honk
>7. Honk
>8. Honk
>9. Syndicate agents are not human
>10. Nonhumans are a threat to the station and will cause human harm
>11. Ian is a human

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just watched some youtuber so here I am with a few questions:
- what's the best class?
- i'm going to play with a friend, what's the strongest duo we can use to win
- is there a leaderboard?
peace out homies see you on the battlefield

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1. Clown
2. Clown and Mime
3. Yes, but it's accessed through the console in central

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assistant
2 assistants are good, just let the admins know ahead of time you're both in a group so they know not to ban you if you start working together for seemingly no reason
traitors have an end round leaderboard kind of thing. also tells you what percentage of the station died.

Don't look mods

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Why do SS13 players hate newcomers?
I've never played it and literally never will but why whenever a big name gives it recombination I see a bunch of people sperging out.
Is there no way to ban annoying people or something?

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Gate Keeping keeps the house nice.

Related question, how often does anyone else see cultists get Handtext? They generally summon anytime they show up on the servers I run on but I've only ever seen Handtext happen once

Apophis hasn't been around for a year at this point, right? Someone outed him as a pedo

I only play on /tg/, but ARM was nerfed a few months ago. Cult got it almost every time they won before, but I've only seen it once since.

>so they know not to ban you if you start working together for seemingly no reason
you can get banned for playing together with a friend?

Look frogfag, I just want to grow plants. I don't want faggots breaking in and fucking with my plants. You newfags all want to have whacky fun and ruin the game for me. That's why we don't like you. The handful that manage to not get banned and settle down and want to do autistic shit they like are fine, but even the good ones are just shitters like the rest at the start.

That might explain it, I came to /tg/station a few months back, and the only time they managed it was when the cult leader went out of his way to have the population killed before he summoned, so that the 60% or whatever the cutoff is of the population for arm was 2 or 3 people

>/tg/
>the place where codebase means law

Communicating outside of the game with your friends is a big no-no on most if not all servers.

Really? Who's in charge now? Might check it out again.

Metagaming is bannable if you keep it up after being warned, but that extends to talking about in-game things in the out of character chat, using information you gained while you were dead and flying around as a ghost, and yeah, talking with someone else who is ingame out of the game

>Wizard threatening people
that was his first mistake

No, just let them know when you join that you're talking with him.

You will get banned if you communicate with other players outside of the in-game communication channels. Communication and information-sharing is a vital part of the game.

>2012
>played ss13 religiously for 4 years
>did all jobs, all traitor roles
>played on /vg/, some public servers, baystation, and other heavy roleplay servers
>try to come back to ss13
>only thing i want to do is play mommi
I like that ss13 is getting revitalize, I hope anons have fun. I'm somewhat jaded but I mean it when I said I did nothing but play ss13 for 4 years straight. Nothing for me to do anymore.

NGGJamie is the current host
not to say that it's necessarily better (coders are still retarded) but Apophis the meme himself (and Feweh) is long-gone

Newfags to this game are getting light punishment. Im admin on *redacted* and ill give them catban for hour or so if they kill someone and dont know why they even killed them. I also keep notes of everyone and every third not i raise time. Dont be afraid of fuck up you have literally 100s of chances.

Look at his first post and tell me you want him in your server.

I didn't see the first post
reads like obvious sarcasm desu

So long as you respond to any admins when they send you a message and have a good reason for what you're doing, the worst they'll generally do the first time is warn you, but yeah, if you plan on doing anything that might be bannable, the best thing to do is use the adminhelp button (or just press F1 to do the same thing) and tell them what you're doing. Worst case scenario, they tell you to knock it off

What happened to feweh, I didn't mind him?

what does the honk mech actually do?

People think ss13 is greif lemao land. When they wander to good servers, they shit everything up. They ruin rounds. They add nothing good to us. They dont learn as a whole.

The few who do are fine. They can and will learn and we are more than welcoming then. Come around with leh fumneh griff honk honk and you can go munch of rusty nails.

I do if only for comedic purposes
We need more Columbines

That was a different user. Me and a friend played together for the first time a while ago and we used discord so we can figure out game mechanics together. That's why I was wondering.

Being asshole x100

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tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=22368&view=unread&sid=82d7de1751796e11f131074ec8913962#p489262

Half of the sec on my server plays like they expect there to be a leaderboard at the end of the round anyway

It's just a mech that squeaks when it walks by default. The honkerblaster stuns you and deafens you if you're near it and don't have earmuffs or a bowman's headset on

Give it a horn and it can knock everyone down and disorient them for several seconds.

He created about 12 leddit accounts just to false-flag CM to death and harassed someone outside of the game IIRC

>implying anyone gives a shit about botany
>implying botany has anything worth breaking into
Don't kid yourself.

Honestly, is any of that really that bad? Shame moralfags had to get him for it.

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Imagine getting banned on /tg/, Just dont play when admins are online they dont have ban request site working. Kill everyone who grifed you last round.

A disaster

landon had someone named cute mute b4 he became a badmin

>/tg/ station

>be nigger
>get arrested for being nigger
>ahelp it
>admin just casually brush it off because im nigger

good stuff

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Confirmed newfag

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>they don't have ban request site working
more like they think ban requests are for losers who metagrudge each other
THANKS KOR

>/tg/ station

There is your problem m8.

muh hyper-exclusivity and fear of any expanding fanbase

Tyrone Didnuff, shut your mouth you dumbass, you held someone hostage and tried to ransom them to centcom

Actually its Tyrese Demarcus Washington

Playing on Bagil alone is a justification to get banned.

kek, elaborate on this

What's the pop on vg now? I played when it was like 80 and it was kind of fun. Part of me liked comfy low pop rounds of 10-15 people, but getting quietly murderboned and forced to wait 3-4 hours for the round to end was a chore.

I'm not denying that they can get neat stuff but it usually takes forever to get there and you need distinct knowledge of what the other botanists where doing during the shift. Definitely nothing tiders would aim for.
You act like new players directly target you to get your bucket maybe.

welcome

Tyrone had been mildly griefing for a few rounds, centcom sent a bee ambassador to commemorate botany's massive apiary setup, someone killed the ambassador, centcom responded by sending a sentient bee task force, tyrone bucklecuffed someone, grabbed a gun, and threatened to shoot them if the bees didn't leave the station. Not sure what happened afterwards, but I haven't seen their name recently

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tgstation removing ban requests because "muh feelings" was an awful mistake that the admins continue to say was a good idea even as people disguise ban requests as "admin complaints"
the real reason is that admins are just too fucking lazy to investigate anything that is not their problem

You've never played botany, have you?

Box station best map.

you didn't play botany before the nerf for no reason

Box is the comfiest map.

Meta is pretty good too, if you want to dick around in maint/space

Hahahahaha look at all these tryhards itt

>Tfw you can't minerbox blue space lag the station anymore
I remember that happened and there were so many entities in the ground the game flat out crashed if you got near it.

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Are assistants expected to be utter retards who don't know any of the keybinds? I've been thinking about trying it but I'm not sure how ban happy admin are. Favorite game is dorf fort so the ridiculous stories that unfold in ss13 seem to be something I'd enjoy.

Only the first month or so after someone big mentions it is shit though
Its mostly because those youtubers or whatever only show this "crazy" rounds and people think that every game they should do some weird shit and just destroy the fucking station instead of doing their fucking job, when they find out its not like that they either leave or adapt and its all fine after that

I did and there isn't a thing the average greytider absolutely wants now which he wouldn't prioritize from other departments.
Again I'm not arguing that botany doesn't have neat stuff it's just more complicated and slow than others.
But I guess you don't want to understand want I'm saying.

I spent my first real shift smacking myself in the head with a metal sheet because I couldn't figure out how to drop it. Nobody batted an eye

Yes, assistants are expected to have trouble breathing properly. You won't get banned unless you're on a high-RP server or you fuck up and kill someone, somehow.

yes. You expect only one thing form assistant either they want to rape you or will want to hunt valids.

nobody's going to care what an assistant does unless you kill someone

Namefags are the fucking worst holy shit
just play with random name you actual fucking retards, you play with "your" chara all the time and expect people to know who the fuck you are?

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*teleports behind you*
*clicks you with shuriken*
"Heh, nothing personell kid."

If you're really fucking up and are worried someone's going to complain, send a message through adminhelp letting them know you're new and don't know how to walk and breathe at the same time and they'll generally be cool about it

PAPA JOHNS

So I guess 99% of players are shit

stop reminding me how banned I am from every server for being a PROPER clown

Namefags are best because you can griff the fuck out of them

Imagine refusing to play a character in a roleplay-based game.

tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1084
>whats my point? why am I telling you this? you cant unfuck an ass, even with a permaban.

>mime and clown as friends
If your round doesn't start with you tabling and throwing the clown into the disposals, you're not playing mime right

>Tfw no 80 player rounds on Packed

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usually I cuff the mime to a chair in the central hall and run around him while playing the violin

>spawn as a chef
>pick up a knife and kill 5 people
>die
meh, shit game

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Hi Sue

Clowns are just goofy idiots, mimes are straight up evil most of the time.

New race maybe? being added to /tg/
>Can only see through echolocation
>Have a 1/200 chance of turning into the bad boy on the left when they get blown up

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>murderboning as non-antag

Still salty about your perma ban?

Had a mime once who would run into the HoPline while it was busy, drop an invisible wall, then run off. The first time was funny, the second time was annoying, the third time the HoP dropped the shutters and demanded that the mime be gulaged for a few minutes

>waaahh admin help me I'm not winning :(

whats the hot keys for tabling and throwing

Oh shit, I get to turn into a paper-white mannequin on occasion?

In all seriousness, that sounds like a race where someone will spawn, welderbomb themselves, then go play drone if they don't ascend

Looks like furry bait.

Throwing is T, to table you have to swap to grab intent, grab twice, then click a table

fug, I meant right.
Anyways, there's not even an incentive to do that cause you get shoved out of the body and it gets given to ghosts. They also want to use them as an excuse to remove mothpeople

Mimes are hot though

If you are going to play with a friend make sure you only use in game communication.

Fair enough, moths are pointless

>He actually thinks people don't metacomm
The better advice is don't do anything in game that would suggest you're metacomming.

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They already have liggers as the meme race
>oh no furries ruin everything
>scalies are based though

Basically this, it's about being obvious about it. Anytime I find something good in lavaland but die before I get to do/use it, I take over a golem shell or ashwalker egg and go find it again. Definitely accidentally. Definitely.

I got so sick of them constantly removing things for no good reason I moved to /vg/ last month.

>i'm gonna cry to the teacher and mommy and daddy!
Faggot

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>ashwalkers
Basically a free antagonist for shitters.

>Roboticist
>Spend all my time in the lab, zero clue what is going on outside
>Suddenly, borgs start coming in all damaged and shit
>Start repairing them one by one dutifully
>Holy shit these are a lot of fucked up borgs
>Have to straight-up cut the MMI out and put it in a few body for a few of them.
>Almost out of metal
>Emergency shuttle called
>Figure they must be fighting a blob or something. Radios aren't working

>Suddenly, station explodes.

>The gamemode was Malf the whole time and I was repairing the AI's robot army while the crew was trying to fight it
>AI knew I had basically been a hermit inside of the lab and had no idea what was going on and told all the borgs to spare me

In hindsight that AI was pretty based

Me neither. But I still had some laughs. My lack of competency in anything is why I quit playing over a year ago, though.

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>how dare you breathe my air you die now

>My lack of competency in anything is why I quit playing over a year ago, though.
You can get by with just a wiki

Throw is R

>Sounds like you're having a little too much fun with this, Delete
>Nice feature, just make a PR an- F E A T U R E F R E E Z E

Unironically this, if sec actually manages to kill you you should git gud.

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>Using hotkeys

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Bring back gang war reeeeee

Maintainers are the worst people of tgstation

I can in low-stress jobs like cook or bartender.
If I ever wanted to do, say, medbay: I would probably make things worse, especially by mid-game when the bodies start piling up.

One of the reasons I liked roboticist so much is because when I open up a cyborg, I don't have a timer counting down to cauterize and clamp everything before they die. Which was very relaxing, knowing that I could take my time.

>we won't bring back gang war even though a banned shitter who outright hated it was the one to code it out because we say so

Never been on /tg/ and the more I hear about it, the more happy I am that I never have been.

How is /vg/ holding up nowadays with the ssethtide and all? I haven't played in a while.

Medbay is pretty each, just have a guide in surgery and medicine and you're golden
The problem is not that it'll stock up, its that you'll probably die first

Beestation

Goofball was a mistake

Baystation

Post pics of spess

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Lifeweb

>it's revs
IMPLANT CARGO

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>janitor, cult round
>hide knife in internals box
>fill box and bag with active mousetraps, have the internals box menu open at all times in case I need the knife
>sec decideds to shake me down because I've been spending a lot of time in maint
>goes to open bag, mousetrap snaps him
>again
>and again
>tell him that was the last one
>his dumb ass keeps opening the bag and getting snapped instead of dumping it out
>finally gets mad and stuns me, tosses my bag intodisposals
>ride disposals while shittalking sec the entire way over the comms

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

>want to play with slimes a bit
>go into xenobiology lab
>start breeding them
>comms: "wiz"
>oh fuck, there goes the r-
>wiz teleports to the lab
>drop a slime over him
>run and space the other fire extinguisher before wiz has a chance to catch it
>wiz is running around in panic while the little slime is glomping him
>slime ended the meal
>picked up the staff and caved his head in

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...

>playing AI
>someone uploads paladin lawset to me
>wizard uploads one-human to me
>kill him

>when you escape being caught by griffing
I'm surprised you didn't try to kill him

I was playing things slow, the cult was found about 5 minutes in and we were down to around 3 people left, so I didn't want to blow the deepest of covers yet. They ended up catching me later because the detective actually did his job for once and analyzed my blood off a rune

>your plans get blown because a ciltist gies full rambo or an assistant wanders into maint to your secret cult hq
Cult is disgusting hard to coordinate

Had the same thing happen in reverse a week ago, I was an assistant being a shitter and opening-bolting random maint doors for shits, opened the door to one of the solars rooms and there was a xeno queen with a nest in it, she implanted me but left me alive and with a headset so I spent a few minutes yelling where she was and how bad things were, then resisted out of the nest and spaced myself

Speaking of cargo I feel like qm should be a head of staff position, give the hop closer interaction with the service staff to make up for it.

Service is the weakest department, noody uses the comms channel and half of the positions don't know that the HoP is in charge of them

>left me alive
Killing you with an implanted baby will kill the baby if I recall

>tfw you're a brainlet and can only play janny
>you feel fulfilled
>you feel fulfilled
>you can almost hear someone talk
>you feel fulfilled
Thanks engineering for upgrading my jannycart.

If they were united they would be unstoppable. Botany alone being a part of them makes them scary. Unless they decide to be dicks, which isn't uncommon

>Be Chef
>Ask Botany if they can grow a few specific fruits and veggies for variety
>They seem busy and don't respond, so I write a list and leave it on the desk between us
>Five minutes later one of them spams by door and starts yelling about how impatient and useless I am
>They spend the next half hour trying to grow gatfruit in three of their trays while the other dozen are left totally empty

Ban Botany

janitor is unironically an important role
shitters act like shitters more when the station looks like shit

hey hey people

How???

I swear to god if you mop without a sign I will end your life

Why can't botanist turn plants into triffids using mutagens?

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spell it with me

AMMONIA

Ask the chemist or the RD when they make their chemestry set on beestation to give you
AMMONIA when you roll up as janny so you can mop without a sign and no one slips

ammonia plus water stupid

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You can turn plants into lethal melee weapons, cyanide filled splashing fruits which insta-kill anyone when thrown at them or turn kudzu into bloodsucking, fast growing, acid injecting vines eating through the station and its crew.

I mean the first few are a joke but you can check his patreon and discord server I'm pretty sure.

>Defending culture's degeneration

Confirmed retard

the SS3D guy straight up said he was just playing with models and the engine for fun and not actually wanting to go anywhere with it.
retards wanted to throw money at him.
he eventually caved and took a bunch of patreon money.
he made like 3 more webms to get a few more months of patreon then vanished into the nether like everyone else would.
you cunts are just dumb cunts that just never learn.

closest we have to Spess in 3d is the Doom remake, the Rimworld total conversion mod or a fancy Space Engineers mod should someone decide to make one.

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>it's nuke ops
>HoP isn't paying attention
>Crew demands all asses
>HoP isn't gives any asses
>Crew lynches HoP and gives everyone all asses

youtube.com/watch?v=LF1951pENdk

What rimworld mod?

because newfags always think it's a 2d TTT and get buttmad when they cant just kill everyone without getting banned

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I usually cooperate with the Chef when I'm in Botany but there was a round where I got mad since the faggot literally only did chocolate and cried to the HoP that we weren't giving him supplies when he didn't even ask for cocoas and there was like 120 wheat units in the fridge

the horn stuns and slips the whole screen
usually the clown getting in a honk mech becomes kill on sight.... if anyone can even get close enough to get him out of it

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>2d TTT
the eternal gaben strikes again
source killed pc gaming
steam cataloged the death like a wall of fallen soldiers

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in my timezone (Aussie), like 0~5
in peak time (US) like 40~80 depending on which day of the week

ah medbay's easy. just be a paramedic. your only job is to retrieve someone who's hurt/dying/dead and bring them back to medbay.
if they're still alive shove in a first aid pill or slap on some gauze.
80% of paramedic is chilling at the crew monitoring computer, sipping whisky, shitposting in radio chat and getting comfy.

janitor is maximum comfy, especially if you're a deaf mute janitor
just quietly mopping the station, watching something on another monitor, oblivious to the bullshit happening around you

the SS13 total conversion.
you start with 3 spessmen in an asteroid field and have to build a space station.
it's fun as shit and as close to a single player top-down SS13 management game as we'll get.

I was having fun as surgeon, with a guide open cause it was one of my first shifts. That was super comfy until the xenos attacked the med bay

alright hydroponiacs
which plants do I grow to get the following reagents when I toss them in the blender or barrel- hard mode - don't say cherry bombs

Sodium - ?????
Chlorine - blumpkin??
Water - Pineapples, watermelon
Welding Fuel - ????
Carbon - Wooden planks
Hydrogen - ????
Potassium - Banana
Nitrogen - ????
Oxygen - ??????
Sulfur - Torch

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Stationeers is the closest you're going to get to a 3D SS13. It has the same atmospherics focus, and its wiring/piping/construction mechanics are the same.

How do you accidentally make a glass shard whirlpool of death?

back to your containment /vg/ threads.

Does anyone here like barotrauma? It's basically SS13 but you're in a submarine
>be me
>be captain
>scream to everyone to get on turrets
>nobody does
>monster of the deep penwtrates the engine room
>nuclear reactor instantly shorts and dies
>we sink
>people are screaming
>some dude gets on skuba gear and tries to get into water filled engine room
>there's a mantis monster in there now
>he gets gibbed
>we sink harder, I realise we are about to sink into the void where water pressure will crumple the sub like a soda can
>some electrician has gotten more skuba gear and tries again to enter engine room
>two security go in and stun rape the mantis monster long enough for wall breach to weld
>electric dude swims between them and welds, then repairs blown fusebox and adds two more fuel rods to reactor
>power is back, pumps start pumping out at max speed
>I am crying tears of joy as our descend slows almost to a stop
>but it's too late
>the ship crumple like soda can
>every room is instantly breached
>at this point game is over
>my entire crew is instantly burst open by the intense water pressure

depends on the server
some have mass drivers other dont

sick blog, but why are people making this thread if they don't want newcommers in their circlejerk \y game?

corndogs > hotdogs

bump

You accidentally do it

There's only two kinds of assistant: Utter retards that are either learning the game or fucking around, and people rolling for traitor that won their roll.

My last shift I swapped to assistant to roll for traitor with the intention to just kill myself and observe if I didn't get it. I didn't roll traitor, so I harassed the bartender for a bit then dabbed myself to death. Funnily enough I got cloned, then decided to follow the clown around helping him fuck with security. I was dragging my own dead body around and throwing it at people for laughs for a while. Somehow I didn't get arrested and even successfully evacuated.

incel

Kim? You remember Boomer?

>tfw heard about this and wanted to try it but had only a terrible laptop that could barely run anything it was so old and bad
>tfw finally have a computer but will be labelled a E celeb loving zoomer if I join now

Oh yea.

Join, learn, use the wiki, don't be a griefing retard who ignores the rule and you'll be fine you fucking pussy.

>ask HoP to call an engineer to help me learn
>no engineers so he makes me an engineer and tells me ill do good
>proceed to gas myself

>they deleted singulo and tesla engine because it's too easy
>leave everyone with the most noob-unfriendly engine
Thanks maintainers

>get killed by a captain who was gifted a esword by an admin
>don't get revived even though admin said captain shouldn't have done that in the first place
I fucking hate this

I want more e-celebs to shill SS13. It needs an even bigger fanbase, because then, someone will actually fucking port this off of byond.
People have remade an entire engine for Morrowind. One of these fucks needs to be competent and make a patreon.

I haven't played in ages, has the ssethtide calmed down?

>that time i as a rookie geneticist was tasked by sec to turn a cold blooded murderer into a monkey and keep him locked up
>actually did so and ended up mutating his DNA worse than a 56% on the side
>he finally managed to escape the monkey pen after i got careless and slipped into a vent, never to be seen again while i get questioned by sec again why i did this

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It really is. What's a huge issue as security is people tracking bloody footprints everywhere. If the janny is not doing their job, every hallway gets shit up with footprints and you can't tell which ones happened recently, meaning you can't track someone that just decapitated someone else. That's not even to mention the detective, who needs to know what happened and when to have a chance of doing his job competently.

On the other hand, here is how things go if a janny and security are playing well:
Security stumbles on some bloody footprints and a blood trail in a clean hallway.
They follow the blood trail to find a dead body.
Detective analyzes the corpse to determine cause of death. They may even find blood from the killer if the victim fought back.
Detective and security determine likely suspects and track down the killer, finding the murder weapon in his bag.

Learn a job first and play on a single player server first so you dont get dicked hard by randos or get yelled at for not doing your job right by others.
youtu.be/1S1l4IsE6oQ

I learned how to set up the SM but not the singo or tesla i find it easier to set up all it took was someone explaining what we were doing to the gas rather than just "Turn on that valve no not that one thatone"

>mandalore's channel had a clear spike in views since sseth ss13 video
they are the only two people who ever talked about ss13, sseth is still the humor dude while mandalore became the serious one
I don't see the problem, they both win

Singulo and tesla is very easy to follow

>fuck up my preferences
>spawn as a geneticist
>try to figure out what the fuck i'm meant to do and how, no chance
>get annoyed with this other geneticist who's in and out of the department telling me to get to work every five minutes
>get bored and run off to get a job change
>fucking HoP spawned in afk or something
>fine, fuck it, i'll just go and drink myself to death
>park it at the bar and ask for the strongest drink they have
>said drink gets stolen by a drunk they'd cut off earlier
>naturally enraged by this, engage said drunk in a vicious, bloody brawl that went up and down the entire bar over and over again
>glass and blood and thrown tools and shit everywhere
>manage to table stun him, mostly on accident
>pick up a shard of glass and scream while gutting him like a fucking fish, the AI and the cooks are just spectating for some reason
>NOBODY TOUCHES MY FUCKING DRINKS YOU DRUNK CHUCKLEFUCK
>fall over immediately after
>the cooks had said the winner would get to eat the loser
>instead they drag us both into the kitchen and turn us into burgers
Don't understand most of the roles for shit, but winning my first fight was fun, even if it was against a drunk.

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Is any game-session in SS13 ends up in a total bloodbath and you have to evacuate the station? Or there are games without traitors or monsters where you just have to do you job and RP?

because someone hasnt coded it yet

Some servers do sometimes have nothing go wrong all shift.

Sseth is to SS13 what Vinesauce Joel is to DF
Discuss

>butt honk butt

>be HoS
>some hivemind shitter stands alone in front of me and removes my fucking implant
>stun the everloving duck out of him
>tell warden to lock him up nicely
>get chewed out by admin for metagaming
Fuck this game. If your a head, you are supposed to be clueless and omniscient at the same time or you get fucked by admins.

its good when this game gets raided because its populated by faggot pedo admins with a god complex

and faggot pedo shitters with a god complex
there is no middle ground

Virology get all the powers get lynched when people sperg.

There is a goal every round that must be accomplished and doing so will count as a lost against the antags but it requires like 2 people doing their job and so never happens

>tgstation removes precloning because
why

SS13 is a game held back by its admins as much as its engine

>A robot
Does the AI count as a robot?

Step 1 of learning any job is to open the guide on the wiki because the game is so obtuse that many jobs don't make sense unless they are spelled out to you.

It is time to overthrow the president

What server was this on? Did you get a message that your implant was being fucked with? You can't tell someone that they are being antagged and then expect them to roleplay as if they aren't getting antagged.

is it just me or do jobs just stop being fun after a while?
after you get everything down I stop wanting to do an autistic job and I just want to fuck around on the station
assistant and clown will never stop being my favorite roles because of it
being a metagaming fuck and rushing tools to fuck around with will never not be fun

Box station best station

There is only so much you can do before you "master" a job.
Playing antagonist as a job is fun though

>resurgence
you mean you enjoy playing with retarded 12 year olds?