What is the dumbest weapon in video game history?

Could somebody just explain to me the logic behind putting a lawnmower engine on a sword?

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I work alone except when I work with Ronaldo which is all the time

more power

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SO IT GOES VROOM VROOM and maybe causes it to vibrate which helps cut stuff I think. Shut up having an engine as a hilt would stop SO many things from getting through when you block.

keyblade

makes it faster when you swing retard what do you think motors do

I don't think so, Tim.

hey you guys

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PERDUCCIIII

fanmade keyblades are peak weapon design

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how do you grab it

The.gunblades that don't even shoot bullets

what kind of humor would you call homestar?
it's definitely wacky and random but when you say that it conjurs up images of family guy and teh penguin of d00m, but it's actual clever and unexpected randomness instead of xD waffles randomness.

Is there a name for this kind of humor and where can I get more of it besides two more eggs

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X BLADE!

Desert Eagle

please be bait

I think that was in Red Faction Armageddon

Homestar is a level of wholesome and honest that can't be found much else anywhere. I get the same vibes from Aqua Teen to be real. When I say wholesome and honest, I mean the comedy stands on its own and has only one purpose - to be entertaining as all hell. It's quirky and random yeah but it's got its own consistent logic. I think they call that well written.

Nice trips.

Homestar Runner was a proto-Adventure Time. I guess you could call it irreverent? It's random and wacky before random and wacky got out of control, that's for sure. Alternatively, you could just say that it was GOOD humour.

Witty and absurdist humour like Monty Python

The brothers describe it as "road trip humor". Try reading/watching/playing Sam and Max if you prefer the subdued/older stuff, Space Ghost Coast to Coast if you like celebrities, or Problem Sleuth/Homestuck if you want full random but still clever.

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Slice off your own hand
while tickling your opponent

not him but why wouldnt that work?

I'd love to know more about this road trip humor thing. I wonder what they meant specifically, because when I hear road trip humor I have no idea what they're talking about. Unless they're just fucking around.

yes they are.

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This thing would fucking work if the hilt wasn't goddamn retarded. You could convince me someone could swing this if it weren't for the hilt.

i cant believe dangeresque does all of his own stunts man they are crazy

But they don't need to. It can swing itself, remember as long as Sapphirus wishes hard enough in a touchest battle.

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Because a motor is not a rocket, it doesn’t provide open-air thrust.

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port-ly
wash-boy
don't eat it like the cartoon
yeah

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I can't find the quote so maybe I'm misremembering if they described it as that, but the series has a lot of repetition in running gags and a lot of natural straightforward jokes that come off as being off the top of their heads. It's the kind of comfort food writing that reminds people of a lazy road trip.

Fuck God damn it you're right
Has there every been a league where Animate Weapon wasn't fucking strong as hell

He said dumbest, not best

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90% of destinys guns
even with space magic those designs are retarded as fuck

DANGERSKEW

Isn't that from that one did who showed off his sci fi gun designs and then went berserk when everyone criticized him?

>tfw didnt get invited to this year's office bring your own hot jones party

I love this post.

I'm partial to the Hand cannon from Dead space.

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>Hot what?

That is a weapon strong enough to take down Sin, so Blitzball players must be absolute monsters if they're hitting each other with it for sport.

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Is that supposed to be a ghetto Railgun?

WROOM WROOM MOTHERFUCKER

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dont worry man it was a total let down, one guy brought a warm jenkins instead and said he didnt like the sblounskched bar that was served to him and it really killed the mood

pure stanless steel

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Every time I see a chainsaw being treated as a serious weapon in a video game all I can think is "These people have never used a chainsaw before in their life." It's not practical and it'll break a lot quicker than you might expect.

when dante takes the piss in 4 and pretends rebellion has the same feature

this

>game gets a remaster
>oozes of SOUL

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explain how a glorified flashlight somehow manages to form a sharp blade and can cut through anything but other glorified fleshlights.

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Nope. However if you added a spinning counterweight like the knife dude does in this video to an Axe...
youtu.be/uA57xOX3AvA

kyber crystals, dawg.

Red Queen doesn’t make any more sense than Engine Blade.

you can clubber someone to death with it while not injuring yourself, so it is far superior to the majority of "swords" like these.

>not maining Keyswordtar

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I've used one before. They aren't even that good in real life, like wtf...

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What do you mean?

It’s basically a thermic lance, the only nonsense part is that it can be obstructed by another blade of the same kind.

Fuck off Carrot Top

Two sticks of dynamite tied together to create nunchucks.

>let's have a weapon you drop after reloading half the time

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Oh sorry, forgot to add the /s because you’re a dumbass that can’t into jokes

Where do you even hold this

Is this the one that makes stupid noises when you shoot and load it?

"wow, I can't wait to go on Yea Forums without a basic grasp of sarcasm"
"Wow you guys are so mean, why is it wrong to spoonfeed me information"
"I'm going to be overtly aggressive about things I don't understand"
It's amazing how underaged faggots out themselves.

That one is useless too, the Bane

youtube.com/watch?v=NWYjLurySU0

I'm almost convinced that was actually bait tho

No, that's the Bane.
It also reduces your movement speed.

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That fucking thing from gears of war. Hammer of something. The final boss was literally pressing 1 button

Also it still screams at full volume if you have the in game audio silenced.

this

Bubble Lead.

Hey, as long as it works

Are y'all forgetting the Australian swearing gun?

youtube.com/watch?v=jIuWsTFlnxs

user,why are you buying up all the "great for baby" items?

I'm partial to the Broached Ocelot. It fires Doom 2 Bad Guys from its ears.

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Oh man, I remember that thread, those were hilarious.

Good old Gunchunks™.

Fun fact: Saints Row and Red Faction take place in the same universe.

Motors are fucking heavy, but that only makes sense if it was on the other end of the sword.
Which it becomes a mace at that point.

>Hammer of Dawn
>laser targeting for an aerial weapon

That literally exists now; but yeah, the bossfight was fucking lazy.

What the everloving fuck.

those things literally existed

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Did someone say dumbest weapon ever?

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The worst thing is that you can only get the Bane as a reward for a very lengthy side mission. You did all that work and you get a gun that is equally useless as annoying.

I can only imagine his VA looking like a complete nerd in the studio doing the sound for this.

>Sup, Jim Davis' Lawyers?
>Creep-o Depot
>RUN LITTLE BEEP POOP she VOIP'd
This is one of the best "random" humor cartoons of all time

based and christpilled

>spongebon
>zoomer
I guess, if you're already in your 40s.

But the mission isn't long at all though. All you have to do is visit a few places and you don't even need to fight anything. Far faster than shit like "The Good, The Bad, and The Mordecai"

Also its top tier in reborn

I will never not love Stanless Steel

foreverally tied up rope

I honestly don't have a problem with the shouting, it has a high damage output. The 95% slower movement speed makes it completely worthless.

I could never pinpoint the humor, but I can tell you that it's timeless. It's still genuinely hilarious today as it was a decade ago

how the fuck do you even hold that thing

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wat

Reborn removes the movement speed debuff and makes the shouting a little quieter. I would use it all the time if it weren't for etech pistols being broken beyond belief.

>homestar runner is 23 years old

>sword has brakes so he can go easy on you

>This thing would fucking work
No it wouldn't

They're nowher near similiar outside of both having a gun

That's dumbest everything

Was this a good game series?

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irreverent is a good word to describe it i think, it's funny because it still treats the thing its making fun of as serious but it's just poking fun

family guy and bad newgrounds flash videos don't take anything seriously, and that lack of grounding is what makes their humor so cringeworthy.

that stupid 'peter fights a chicken for 5 minutes' gag is a perfect example of that, its a joke based on the structure of the narrative and being willing to waste 5 minutes. but the show never cared about being structured in the first place, so its not all that funny

But will it cut, that is the question.

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Do you enjoy finding objects scattered about the environment and then rubbing them on other objects for progress?

Those things are low key dense as fuck. Think about how the players can shoot and pass it arou d without it floating straight up.
I reckon it's atleast similar to a medicine ball that you'd find at the gym

I'd say that's the dumbest outfit ever.
What even is that?

Stopping to think about it, and how the rules of the DMC world go, it actually makes a lot of sense with Red Queen if you consider alchemy exists.
Since the main function of the rev mechanic is actually to set the sword on fire (and any resemble to rocket power is just sparda brand unga in effect), I imagine the motor is simply to try and ignite demonic fire and heat the sword. Revving it increases the heat but needs to turn the alchemic engine multiple times to retain the heat at higher levels.
Quite a number of other features of DMC follow fairly logical rules when on Earth but even the odd trip to the underworld has some grand designs to them I like. A for effort in avoiding generic JRPG settings.

yeah except gunblades don't even shoot bullets so the one reason you can think of for them existing is irrelevant

final fantasy is just... too ridiculous and poorly thought out to take seriously

The historical swordgun is a simple pistol next to the blade. The final fantasy gunblade doesn't have a barrel and doesn't fire bullets but sets of a powdercharge inside the cylinder to vibrate the blade to make it better at cutting or something.

The low audio quality gives me a headache

Yes it was fucking great. The last real point and click game TellTale made when they were LucasArts 2. After this game was successful they got the jurrasic park IP which lead to TWD and the VN garbage later, but this one (as well as the Sam and Max games) are pure point and click adventure game gold. Fantastic game with tons of detail and easter eggs for hardcore homestar fans.

unfortunately voicing like 25 hours of branching dialogue blew out matt's voice and that's why homestar died after the game came out

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>to her the of touchest battles.
Hot

they have a show on disney which pretty much means they no longer have the time or resources to work on it

its funny cause they 'sold out' but they didnt really sell out they kind of shot themselves in the foot because homestar runner is far more culturally relevant and of monetary value than some two bit disney cartoon and they probably thought working with disney would help them make a bigger splash than they did before

>Has there every been a league where Animate Weapon wasn't fucking strong as hell

has there ever been league where you can outrun boolet?

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FF13 tried to fix the gunblade by making it actually work as a gun...except they did that by making it a giant transforming butterfly knife that looks like something you'd find in a children's toy store.

The disney show is basically just homestar with different looking characters, I really doubt it's taking up THAT much of their time. They used to do at least 1 cartoon a week + a scattered full length cartoon here and there plus holiday shit as well as working on the insane amount of easter eggs and shit like flash games for the site. They could probably still churn out some homestar every week if they felt like it.

at this point the sword with a lawnmower blade makes more sense

>if they felt like it

yeah and they're the showrunners for a disney cartoon. they have mickey mouse breathing down their neck. theres a big difference in running your own website at your own pace and working as a subordinate to the most unscrupulous and unethical media company out of the big six

Do you worship this thing?

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I sincerely doubt that disney are being slave drivers over their short bumpers that air on disney DX or whatever. the show just seems like something they were given for being so respected for so long within cartoons/animation and doing good work on gravity falls which was also disney. If they were being strained that hard I can't imagine them not just going back to Homestar.

Yea Forums and /pol/ are rotting your brain. Do you really think "the mouse" is breathing down their neck over this

youtube.com/watch?v=YMcZUI2ZQBI

I mean they're still using flash for fuck's sake lol

great jorb there homestar

What

what is your favorite homestar song, Yea Forums?

DANTE MUST DIE MODE: no trogdor

youtube.com/watch?v=oHODRaLjDJQ

I said a JORB well done yah

I said ya did a great JOB, hamstring

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>the show just seems like something they were given for being so respected for so long within cartoons/animation and doing good work on gravity falls which was also disney

are we talking about the same company here?

the same company that has shown a malfeasant disregard for the creative aspects of every single one of their showrunners? the company that has a clear top-down checkbox agenda for their programming taken from advertisers and study groups? the company that bought Star Wars and thought it was a good idea to attack star wars fans for being nerds?

yeah, they just gave the guys who made homestar runner a show because they liked them so much, and because they care so much about communities. you dingus

>the gunblades literally have a fucking bullet cylinder
>the goddamn bullet shoots out the tip of the blade when you fire

I have to kill enemies for parts to make this shit user, don't expect 100% logic from a game, goddamn son.

It also doesn't sink during the match, either.

It's simply the same density as water.

COACH Z, YOU JERK!
COACH Z, YOU JERK!
COACH Z, YOU JERK!

Anyone who grew up on SpongeBob could very well be 30+ today.

Spongebob is 20 years old in a few days, older than what op is reference.

and because of their work on gravity falls which was a huge show for disney as well as other kids shows like yo gabba gabba, yeah? i could easily see them saying "hey fuck it these guys know what they're doing give them some 2 minute slots to fill"

first poster is still retarded for comparing a boxingglove to a crabclaw

>knocking on the only gun that never runs out of ammo.

Are you talking shit about Pizza cutter sword and kneenickel armor?

JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO DO A HIP-HOP DANCE
GIVE ME A CHANCE TO DO A DANCE

Also that 100th SBemail song was fucking great.

homestar started in 1996 you fucking retard

No Rough-Horsing
No House-Rousing
No Butt-Patting

NO LOAFING

The flash didn't start until 2000 retard. If we're counting early development then Spongebob started in 1984 with The Intertidal Zone.

bob the sponge =/= spongebob
homestar runner as an IP started as a children's book in 1996.

>a gun that shot out chickens instead of bullets

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>as a children's book in 1996
somehow people that make content for children end up making the best shit

The dubstep gun from saints row is the ONLY correct use of a meme in videogames.

>is part of the main story
>has a legitimate reason and purpose for being part of the story
>shits all over fallout while doing it
>even plays german music for you alt righters

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Pic related was from 1994, Hillenberg began organizing a team to make it before pitching it in 1996.

could have just been a dancing ray without dudexDharlemshake

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that's great. and when he pitched it and it got bought in 1999, spongebob as an IP was born. 3 years after homestar.

The children's books were never picked up or published, so what's your point?

what does it have to do with fallout?

Neither were the cartoons, what's your point? It was ready for public consumption and debuted to the world in its final form with the book. Not some napkin sketch for a pitch that they were getting to work on for a few years.

A weapon made of Stanless steel is unparalleled.

If you want some really fucking dumb weapons look at the ones based on the seven deadly sins from Gat Out Of Hell.

I know fuckall about Saints Row but I played that shit when it was on PS+ and I honestly think I enjoyed it more than Furi (the other game that month), which was an easy 9/10.

Max Payne duct taping a water bottle on his pistol to suppress shots

Problem Sleuth was a masterpiece.
Homestuck was pretty solid until it completely lost control of itself and became unbearable somewhere in part 5.

>3 tons
>being able to use it
Nigger you aren’t sapphist quit trying

How does he rev when the sword is not locked in place by anything

Demon gameplay magic

extremely comfy show

First of all Fuck you OP
secondly see above

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I didn't expect to see this absolute gold here, I can only imagine how far that guy has made it with his autocad models and how raytracing has totally made them viable for all 1 of the computers he intends to market it to.

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I'm pretty sure it was 30% voice blowout, 30% disney contracts and 30% babies

waughmp waughmp

put a gun handle on it and it would look pretty based to me

LE boomer sword for the early hours to wake up lazeee millenials XD.

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>she was only 2017

One of its lines is not any kind of swearing, but a very polite and eloquent apology for shooting somebody.

they got work on outside shows after SBCG4AP. They were going into those ventures after the break from homestar.

>ferrari sandwich
>ferrari eggs
>ferrari sausage from the ferrari fridge

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autism from you

come on fhqwhgads

>zoomers thinking homestar is comparable to spongebob
Fucking kids

its a vibroblade. common in scifi.
MGS Raiden uses one too.

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Jesus fucking christ

this one

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Um...how do you hold these?

Someone get the admin in here

Holy shit I just realized who he reminds me of. The way he types is super fucking similar to how terry davis typed.

The handle is in your mind!

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I always associated it with linguistic humor. Many of the jokes are a character saying a sentence slightly wrong that changes its whole meaning.

/thread

Clearly a boxing glove fightlet

That’s not a weapon that’s a contraption

it's incredible how infectious their writing is.

Then you lose maneuverability of the weapon due to the blade.

to be fair it only works for one shot

That's the deal man. That's the for-real deal.

aren't there gunchucks in a game already
I'm thinking of that webm where some guy with gunchucks fights another guy with a sword

Bayonetta has gunchucks. Nioh has gun tonfas.

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so how does it stay accurate?

literally magic

>Don't feed the trolls

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He stabs the floor.

Matt is too pure for this world

Best episode

Website is only 19 years old.
The original book, however, is 23

Whose always givin' Strongbad a hand?
>The Cheat! The Cheat!

>here's your controller bro

>trogdor boardgame rules EP is out

homestarrunner.com/rulebookEP.html

He's a private eye, a crooked cop, a secret agent, and a celebrity pharmacist! DANGERESQUE!
youtube.com/watch?v=3ToLHSopklM

assuming the entire thing is metal it would break bone, and the teeth of the key concentrate impact energy over a small area.

Sorta

It's worth it for the humor alone.

90's era shooters were full of dumb and useless weapons. Pic related, if the gun wasn't overpowered like the shrike, it was worse than useless like the flamethrower. OTOH, just about everything out of Capstone was bad except for Chronomaster and that Fate game that never left alpha.

Knife in these sorts of games don't count. That's a punishment weapon for pissing your ammo away.

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THE SYSTEM IS DOWN.
THE SYSTEM IS DOWN.
DOOT DOOT DO DOOT DO
DOOT DOOT DO DOOT DO

youtube.com/watch?v=b-x2Il9QXuA

goddamn Missy's voice got deep

but it floats on water when tidus shows up on the beach.

If memory serves (been a while)
Episode 1 is good
Episode 2 is okay
Episode 3 is great
Episode 4 is an 11/10
Episode 5 is great

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I'm not an RPG guy and I played maybe two hours of FFX at most back in middle school but I love the fact that this fantasy world has its own dumb weird sport and it's treated like a huge deal in-universe and isn't just some minigame

hmm, I only ever tried the first two. What puts 3 4 and 5 above 1 and 2? Simply a better scenario?

It's time to post it

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pretty much. Episode 4 in particular was Dangeresque 3.

not him but

episode 3 had better music
episode 4 because it was Dangeresque 3
episode 5 felt like a love letter to the stuff the Brothers Chap played growing up and it shows.

just watch the first few seconds, at least in Monster Hunter they somewhat made an engine strapped to a sword make sense in that it clearly creates thrust.

youtube.com/watch?v=kYvuKq3rgQw

I really hope that this shit is called Gun-chaku

I'll give it a short.

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we need /vip/ to be represented by Homestar Runner Pay Plus, that April Fools thing they did like 15 years ago

Is this the boston basher but it always hurts you?

what did they mean by this?

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What said. It's random, but wholesome. There's isn't a true cynical bone in its entire body (probably because there doesn't seem to be a cynical bone in either of the brother Chaps). Also by making pop-culture references that are already very out of date by the time you make them, you ensure your cartoon won't age badly.

I mean, the cartoon was obviously made by 2 guys that just wanted to make something for people to enjoy. They never did it (purely) for money, they never injected politics into it, they just made it because they thought it would be fun, and that really does show.

As a side note, they were absolutely spot on about a few topics. Pic very much related.

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More recently Mozambique from Apex Autists
>pistol
>but it has 3 barrels
>but it takes shotgun ammo
>but the barrels are angled outwards so it's inaccurate by design
>somehow recoil doesn't rip your arm off

If wielded right it's the most lethal ever.

Matt has like 300 different voices how the fuck does he do it

B-est of B-sides is unironically a really good song, even if it's supposed to be a parody. youtube.com/watch?v=QTB3IYp68So

>Historic Not-in-Front-of-My-Computer
>Homestar's face
Gets me every single time.

a lot of them are incredibly similar

A pizza delivery boy

I'm partial to fisheye lens myself

Because Its Midnite

Player agency

>zoomer's don't know that spongebob is from the 90s

By having no range for any of them.

And it isn't even in the game.

What does the N stand for?

That's a big gun

If you like Homestarrunner then check out one of the disney contracts they did, Two More Eggs. The humor is essentially the same

youtu.be/RASR_g9NDTI

What does Yea Forums think of Brewsty Prent and Shanazz?

That post shows how much of a madmen the author was.

lmao that Shanazz album art is godlike. Reminds me of the fake bands in Hypnospace Outlaw.

Between how sad his life sounds and his voice in general I get the impression this is just Coach Z in real life

>le zero punctuation
get some new material

Oh shit I remember that thread, wtf was that dude smoking?

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you don't hit enemies with the teeth part of the key tho

Alright.
Which one's the hilt and which one's the blade?

Does Experimental Film count?
youtube.com/watch?v=ZUgMpG1I_o8

Wtf did they do to the moon

The stupid hilt wouldn't allow you to hold it straight enough to get a clean swing

To be fair it IS a cursed gun

is that Homestuck Runner?

You, sir, just earned a medal. I shall use this as a reference post whenever i shitpost this Tyrantopphirus agan.

totem poles are pretty rad

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is this consistent throughout the series?

Why is this so fitting?

pretty consistent
you can watch this video at 0.25x speed to confirm it yourself, it's mostly the "blade" part of the keyblade or thrusts
youtube.com/watch?v=pDNxzSMByEg
also note how ultima from KH1 has an actual blade under there

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It's basically a pillar of contained plasma

So in other words, it's a retarded chainsaw?

If it made the blade vibrate or heat the blade up it'd have a purpose but it's just because revving shit is cool.

Post the detailed pic

this looks so absurd and impractical that it becomes based

Your precious sandvich won't save you now, fatty!

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coach
z
r a p
accidentally featuring peacy p