Game has an impossible moral dilemma

Meatchads assemble

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Hard Candy.

Enjoy your diabetes sugarfag.

>meat
>has davekat
>candy
>karkat leaves dave for meenah
Really bitch, really?

Meat has John fucking Roxy so it's better than uncucking Karcuck

It was a happy ending after all.

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at least diabetes won't kill you right away :^)

Candy appeals to my hypno fetish

Only a literal child would choose candy over meat.

It's over
All of the characters are flanderized to shit
Finally I can let go

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BASED

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If you snack on candy instead of something like mixed nuts you are a retard.

meat all day

>nutfag
lmaooooooooo

Do you feel it? The webms are coming.

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>candy: sp, luck or magic
>meat: str or HP
Candy

>My crack ship of Meenah and Karkat actually happened
Wait, what?

>candy is necessary
What the

i usually use nuts to clenase the taste of sugar. its a good finisher

>Terezi was the same one between the choices
>she talked with John for thirty fucking years before he died in her arms from a fake poison
Dirk a shit

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am I picking serious sam gib options here?

Meat.
Candy is for fags

Eridan and Feferi also get together in the most anticlimactic way possible

also John and Terzi fuck in his dads car in space

>Meat has John fucking Roxy
In candy they marry and he knocks her up.

I rather have heart disease than be fat, diabetic piece of human trash

John fucks Roxy but it sucks for them and isn't shown. Terezi is the canon/patrician girl

eridemption babeeeee

But which meat?

Beef, chicken, or fish, Yea Forums?

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>Dirk was the bad guy all along

I FUCKING CALLED IT 5 YEARS AGO BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME

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All the ships suck in the epilogue though. The only people who think otherwise are braindead motherfuckers who are like, happy that Jane lactates or something.

Fishfags > chickenfags > redmeatfags

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the canon ones are pretty good

Turkey

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what about shrimp you bitch? chicken and shrimp best retard /fit/ goods

Fish, specifically sushi.

>fish
I see you mane, quality bait. But for real fish is meat, get over yourselves bible cucks

he only started becoming bad when there was no narrator left because he's literally Hussies biggest self insert left alive

Beef = STR
Chicken = DEX
Fish = INT

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Meat.
Beef tastes nice, but I could probably live much easier with chicken.

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>there are people in this thread who would unironically choose sugar over protein
When did America invade Yea Forums?

>Vriskas ending
JUST

anyone got a tldr on the epilogues? I stuck with homestuck through to the end but I don't know if I have the willpower anymore to slog through more act 6 tier writing

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beef tastes the best
but chicken and fish are tasty too, plus they're healthier. So I'd have to say chicken or fish.

Chicken or fish, red meat gives you heart disease.

Davejade and roxygen are pretty good yeah

I enjoy all 3 but I guess if I had to rank them it would be Fish > Chicken > Beef. Fish has the benefit of not being the same animal with lots of differnet things you can do though, if it was poultry, fish, or all red/other meat, thats a bit harder.

Meat = CHADS

Candy = WEENIES

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John fucks Terezi in the back of his Dad's car. That's the only part that matters.

John kills LE but dies to his "poison"
Dirk is the new big bad who has gained narrative control
Alt Calliope is fighting him who also can control the narrative

ending implies a new story

Dirk is based and is the antagonist/narrator/hussie insert

Everyone else dies or is unhappy and gay

Meat since I'm addicted to cock

His "true self" began emerging, and part of that was Doc Scratch's abilities manifesting, which gave him control over the narrative.

>no pork
you muzzie scum

This proves that HB did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to die

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Hard decision if I was 12. Meat

easily the best part

BROS

/OURTROLL/ ERIDAN FINALLY MADE IT

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CHAD KARKAT

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Meat has sustenance to it

>finally makes it
>in the timeline where all subhumans get wiped out by thicc hitler

Andrew? Andrew Hussie? Is that you?

Andrew, I can't and won't make this any simpler for you.

You failed at life. You failed. When one thinks of what man is capable of, pushing himself to the limits physically, mentally and emotionally to achieve heights of success never before mentioned, your name will not be whispered in the same, reverent fashion that others have.

Nobody will remember Andrew Hussie. You aren't even a header or a footer in the career of someone else. You are nobody. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

In short, you are an enormous failure.

Andrew, being that you're about 35 years old and your brain has probably hard-wired itself to accept such failures by now and write off such criticism by being "flippant", really suggests that you've passed beyond the proverbial breaking-point. There's no turning back. This is your career, this is what defines you and this is what you'll defend to the end.

The abhorrent failure that is MS Paint Comics, Andrew Hussie, that is your legacy.

Maybe I'm over-reaching, however. Who knows? People CAN change. Maybe you'll read this, Andrew, and think long and hard about what a wasteful life you've led. Maybe you'll think, "wow. It's incredible just how abysmal and pathetic I really AM!" Maybe you'll lift some weights in the morning. Maybe you'll take a self-help class.

Maybe in a couple of years, Andrew, you'll have learned from this failure. I doubt it, though.

I genuinely doubt it.

Now excuse me, I have to work on Undertale 2. My accountant estimates over sixty million dollars in sales.

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>meanwhile Dave gets his ass fucked by Jade every night

five years ago I was certain I'd never like Davekat

could in theory John end the war alone? of the Godtiers he kinda has the most destructive power, he could summon a bunch of tornados or soemthing

Anything about any version of Spades?

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Based Yea Forumsro

the epilogue is kino though

fucking Toby

Nothing, but be glad he didnt get touched by this trainwreck

CANDY

reminder

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>eating meat
lmao murderers

There is no carapacian in the epilogue

I never thought I would like John/Terezi either. But here we are.

based tobyposter

The epilogue is automatically a 6/10 for shitting on people wanting Gamzees redemption

yeah but a slow miserable death

And now I know I don't.

cool

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People who want Gamzee's redemption are completely missing his character though and can't see past the "zany murderous clown" surface

No, orange text man bad. The real Orange Man saved us from a smug, omniscient douche hijacking the narrative once, and he should have done it again.

name one thing bad with the meat route

>they like davekat now
Please, jump in front of the train.

That is it, bros. Homestuck has become the Cerebus of this generation. God bless, Andrew Hussie.

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never forgetti

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Davekat
Nonbinary Roxy

I LOVE VRISKA!!!!!!!!

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tranny roxy is bad yeah but davekat is funny

Shellfish

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At least the ending of Cerebus was actually great even if you had to go through all that literal insanity to get there.
Sim is also far more clever and talented then Hussie ever was even when he was ranting about YHWH and shit.

Reminder that candy route John literally cured Roxy's gender bullshit with his dick

Me too, bro, but I can understand why people don't like her.

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Meat

was John wrong in the Candy timeline? (when he had a meltdown and everyone abandoned him)

Like i feel the text wanted to paint john in the wrong but we know everyone in the Candy timeline is acting like a retard since its callies fanfiction

I'll do my best to forget all of this
I really feel sorry for people who were in from the beginning, I jumped on during the gigapause

Yeah nice try tummblr

>*hobbling away on one foot and one gangrenous elephantized stump, pulling my one heavily bedsore-ridden arm away from my morbidly obese fungas-infested body and pointing with the two fingers i've been graciously allowed to keep by God*
>"A-at least it won't kill me right away! H-haha!"

no he was in the right, but it didn't give him the right to treat his wife and child like shit

No.
John did nothing wrong, Jane did nothing wrong and Dirk did nothing wrong.

meat if im actually hungry otherwise candy

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So we agree hes still the best strider, right?

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How do you feel about fem-Equius

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>male eating nuts
lol gay

trans roxy

Cool if she would crush my head in her muscular tights

mfw been on this wacky ride since problem sleuth

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this just in: vriskafags are retard3d

Davekat wank

I got through about 10 words and I just...

Dear Andrew Hussie,

Homestuck was a good friend of mine. Please stop raping is dead body.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Everyone

lmao enjoy your propaganda

neither to be honest. Both arent necessairly good for you and youre better off eating something else. If you have to choose one meat is the way lesser evil though since it at least is of some positive nutritional value.

Tranny Roxy is mostly treated as a big ass joke, which is nice.

i also like that candy shitted on people that treat Karkat like a "fragile small boi", since we now know he received warrior training in Alternia

I snack on intestines and chicken livers.
Get on my level fags.

Meat fills you up yes homo, candy doesn't

>strider

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Honestly how can you blame Dirk for wanting to get away from the faggot hellhole that is Earth C?
Who cares if he had a bit of fun along the way

>favorite character is too irrelevant to show up in this complete and utter shitshow of an "epilogue"

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Meat is great
>Dirk is absolutely based
>John is based, dies a hero after fucking the one girl he actually loves
>LE goes out like a man

A tasty meat will do fine. I'm already filled to the brim with fucking candy today.

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>favorite character is dead since cascade

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Does Caliborn show up at all in either epilogue
I remember that he was literally the last good thing in post-scratch Homestuck

Whys is it called epilogue if it ISNT A FUCKING EPILOGUE?

Which one undoes the most of the fucking faggotry?

yes, but only in meat, which shows the actual fight with LE

if i had to choose betwen the two ever (in a videogame of course) I'd choose meat over candy. If I already have meat though(within a videogame), some candy is good.

in meat before the first half of his masterpiece plays out

any Rorb Laborb in the epilogue?

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THAT IS

Meat, candy starts to taste like the same shit when you're exposed to it for too long.
Also, get the fuck out homosuck.
Chicken is the best
Fish is a close second
Beef is bland and can't even be enjoyed as a hamburger or anything unhealthy.

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Getting fucked in the ass narratively by Homestuck should be expected at this point.
I'd say "by Hussie" but we vboth know he hasn't written anything in years.

How isn't it an epilogue? This should be good

Canon:

Vriska, sticc, no ass or tits

Aradia: Thicc as fuck, big ass and titties

Yes, she breastfeeds her baby, Vriska

Thank god

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Plenty.

In Candy, she becomes a literal MILF and pic related

In Meat, she gets brainwashed by Dirk who cucks Kanaya

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An epilogue conclude an already existing ending, this shit isn't concluding anything it's just extending it or in some other view changing it.

>Meat: is a tranny
>Candy: helps jane become condesce 2

admittedly that last point is a bit based since all trolls must fucking hang

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am i the only one that kinda enjoyed seeing Kanaya get bullied by Dirk?

what, where? I thought he just kinda fucked off like a weenie as usual

based and rustpilled

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It's so stupid how his character arc was "I'm better thn my abusive counterparts" then the epilogue comes and he kinda merges with them

i have a lesbians-turned-straight and reverse ntr fetish so i did too

Homestuck ends when both LE and John die, whatever is next is a sequel

beyond his control
>yeah I'm turning into Lord English/Scratch but whatever I can handle it

He became Doc and finally got what he wanted.

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meat is an metaphor for penis
and candy for vagina
so all of u who chose meat are fags loool

didn't like it, it made me feel bad. gonna reject it and replace it with my own autism in my head
except for john fucking terezi, that can stay

>people hating Candy
>Candy gets us:
>Karkat standing up for himself and finally being a Leader
>All the good ships
>Jane rightfully oppressing the trolls
>Dirk killing himself
>this is supposed to be bad to retards

Vaginas are made out of meat, you faggot. Candy is a euphemism for semen.

>all the good ships
only meenah

>check website
>"oh shit an epilogue"
>pages of WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS
What is this what the fuck is happening is this a late April fools joke or something? Is this really how it ends, just being the polar opposite of everything that made MSPA enjoyable in the first place?

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And Jade fucks Dave's ass every night

Because it's meaningless. Dull. Masturbatory. Nothing significant happens and nothing has any actual consequence.

>Earth C exists outside "canon", hence its not affected by the black hole

Meat
>John actually fought Caliborn with replaceable/doomed timeline kids
>English and Davepeta fell into the black hole during the last confrontation
>Dirk has begun imprinting himself upon the narration of events, and is currently in a spaceship with Rose and Terezi (and John's dead body) flying towards a planet that they plan to seed, to eventually advance enough to play "the most important game of SBURB"

Candy
>Alt!Calliope has become something of a God of the black hole, and plans to devour/fuse with English once he descends far enough into the black hole, then leave to go stop Meat!Dirk, who's influences on the narration she believes undermines the very concept of existence, instead bending even events he had no hand in to be reflections of his own agenda
>Dave meets Obama, who had played SBURB once before, and knew Dirk somehow. Obama gives Dave a robot body in preparation for events that may dictate the fate of all existence
>Aradia (who is in tight with Alt!Calliope) along with Robot Dave, escape the black hole to the meat timeline

There are cringy parts whithin the good ones (ignoring the plot is naruto at this point) so I saved you

/fit/ vs Yea Forums

Neither of them do, both are fucking awful but it seems more and more people are eating them up because they're that desperate for Homestuck

>sugar gargling diabeetus thinks he can open his clapmouth
lmao shut the fuck fatass

This is Jade, she's Dave's husband. She is a homewrecker and a slut. Say hi.

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>>>Dave meets Obama, who had played SBURB once before, and knew Dirk somehow. Obama gives Dave a robot body in preparation for events that may dictate the fate of all existence
What

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no, Meat is a direct ending that sets up a sequel

Except Meat sets up Candy

I'm so fucking PISSED right now. i read through homestuck up until the last act was released and now i can't remember shit about any of the characters or what happened and what shit is GOD DAMMIT. i wish i could appreciate this nice summary you put together but HOLY FUCK i can't remember anything. I'm so mad that I may actually have to reread hoemstuck again and man i really do and don't want to

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It's not like I have any other choice, I guess I might as well end the suffering now

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holy FUCK Hussie treats Jade like absolute shit in the epilogue good god

Brain hologram obama, dave kneels in his presence, a touching moment

I think the idea is that both timelines create the other?

Because she's based on his ex-girlfriend.

not at all retard, Candy is supplemental and the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS is Calliope/Aradia/Davebot. it adds stuff like what happened to Vriska and Meenah but otherwise it doesn't matter

Ah I've been trolled, I see

FUTAAAAA

>treating a half dog full slut abomination in a bad way is bad

Wrong.

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>Candy is supplemental
You missed the point evidently.

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it actually happens

another fake sounding thing that happens: john fucks terezi in the back of his dads car in the edge of space after she operates on him with her sword

I'm at page 12 in candy and havent started meat yet. Give me a good reason to continue my read. I'm so through with how this shitshow of an epilogue is written. Unironic gender shit everywhere, it's so obnoxious. This isn't the homestuck I used to know and love.

Pork must be op as fuck then...

And yet Jade ultimately gets what she wants.

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read meat first

it's like a VN route, you want to read meat first (roxy does gender shit in both but it's not the main thing)

what is this trash and what game is this trash from so that I can stay far, far away from it

I think huss broke my heart, he is beyond caring at this point, he makes fun of you for caring at any given point and I just kind of feel betrayed for some reason.

REMINDER THAT JOHN FUCKED TEREZI IN THE BACK OF HIS DAD'S CAR

wtf did you do with your browsers front

>Karkat goes balls deep on Meenah
>John goes balls deep on Terezi

neat. Shame I'll never be satisfied as an eternal Karkat x Terezi faggot

candy at least has john cure roxy's gender bullshit with the power of the dick

It's from Sburb. The reviews are shit, don't bother buying it.

>John fucks Terezi
The only good thin out of this shitfest.

in space

meat is easier to read and is in-line with more traditional homestuck bullshit
it's still dumb bullshit but it's entertaining at the very least.

it still has unironic gender shit but at least dirk shits on it for a while.

>FOR FUCKS S4K3 JOHN, DONT S4Y 4NYTH1NG STUP1D R1GHT NOW
What did Terezi mean by this.

John always had better chemistry with Terezi than anyone else did, prove me wrong.

dirk sniping jade was pretty based

I can't read words very well.

gotta say, I'm not too fond of how Dirk's character development was basically reversed to make him a villain, but him pulling the same thing with the narrative that he did with Jane's copy of Pony Pals was a funny callback

I don't want to touch this bullshit with a foot long pole, but if I had to guess it seems to me that meat = authorial intent and candy = fanon, with the climax being a showdown between an embodiment of the Hussie in Dirk and an embodiment of the fanbase in alt! merged Calliope
Am I wrong in assuming this?

>every ship resolved in the most unsatisfying way
>yet still people celebrate
Why

I refuse thats the same dirk I read and loved.
Actually I just refuse the whole epilogue, hussie stopped caring so I will too.

>start reading Candy
>first page has them letting Gamzee out of the fridge for no reason

and that's when I knew both versions of the epilogue were going to be hell.

But seriously what the fuck happened to Roxy, she seems wildly out of character in both stories

Almost as if she were based of Hussie's ex or something...

>putting red meat lowest and posting guile
that's unamerican as hell
redmeat = chicken > fish

I wish we'd gotten the actual embodiment of Hussie showing up and BTFO'ing both of them, then humorously making light of their fight.

Everyone is out of character, its the ghost writers fault, they just wanted fan fiction.

Is every fucking female character based off of Hussie's ex?

Candy Roxy seems right

john and terezi were probably the closest to their old selves, terezi the most so out of anyone

So Dirk obviously uses the narrative to kill John because at the very least, meat!John is still a threat, and seeing his other selves die in his anime dreams was implying he was beginning to become Ultimate Self John right?

god I feel stupid writing all that out

pork or lamb of course

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imagine actually liking boring ass act 6 dirk

Wait, Hussie's ex went FtM?

Ahahahahahahahahahaha

post classpects
Boss of Wheels reporting in

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Everyone seems OOC, Jade and Dave especially

it's
meat = bad bad ending
candy = good bad ending

There's no climax. In meat Dirk (who essentially starts to merge with LE and by extension doc scratch) has a narrative tug of war with alt calliope and then fucks off to go daterape rose in space

Based and fishpileld

The work was reviewed by seeral people but Andrew wrote it

you posted the most normal characters

so is vriska dead for good now or something I quickly skimmed meat and then stopped reading because I stopped giving a shit but I saw a part about her getting sucked into a black hole and going out like that is exactly what deserved to happen to her desu

I imagine thats the only thing hussie wrote, that and some dirk dialogue. Just fucking compare kartat and dave atrocious dialogue to this masterpiece.

homestuck.com/story/2790

she dies in meat yes

Yeah, her dead ghost shows up inside the black hole Earth during candy.

Yes, just like hiveswap, act 7 and the last parts of act 6!. But wait, they werent.

And also the ones that act the worst

Why cant we do this in Yea Forums

wow i almost had a fucking aneurysm reading all that shit

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canwc>homosuck
Bus seriously, Mage of Void here.

Meat = Chad with Protein
Candy = virgin faggot ass needs sugar cause he's weak
geez i wonder faggot OP

Man this epilogue told me on how much more I could hate Dirk. Jesus christ

WHEN THE FUCK DID THE MAYOR DIE

Yea Forums deletes on sight because the mods and jannies want to be on Yea Forums (AKA politics and movie discussion ONLY) and only like Star Vs.

They left him behind when they time traveled forward.

You're being dense, all writers are in the credits and even in hiveswap andrew could've simply told cohen to fuck off. It's still his name on the franchise. Since he didn't, Andrew is fine with the bad collaboration.

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I'd say I'm some kind of Breath player, but I think Sylph of Hope is my favorite.

Can someone post that comic were john kills all homos to cleans my mouth pls.

Because IPGD is so much better than Cohen.

I just started and I'm almost having an aneurysm

They're both awful for different reasons.

>left the mayor behind
>dave is talking about racism and politics in the most OOC shit i've ever fucking seen
I'm in the middle of Meat right now and if this shit doesn't end with John erasing this entire timeline and giving everyone actually good character development instead of writer mouthpiecing as a result I'm gonna fucking puke.

>tfw Karkat x Terezi faggot
>tfw NEVER FUCKING EVER

So... what bout Hiveswap Act 2?

I will have my vengeance.

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>I'm in the middle of Meat right now and if this shit doesn't end with John erasing this entire timeline and giving everyone actually good character development instead of writer mouthpiecing as a result I'm gonna fucking puke.

it's gonna be better

It's dead, Jim.

Check your emails!

>Like virska john
>Hussie doesnt
>Like dave terezi
>Hussie doesnt
I have no hope for terezi john since hussie has a tendency to dislike everything I like.
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok, calling it MY vengeance places the uncomfortable and uncalled-for weight of my own ego into the equation. What I mean is, Nepeta shall have HER vengeance.

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no nepilogue turned out to be a blessing
she completely avoided partaking in any of this bullshit

Prince of Void.
Horrorterrors are my bitch

*ahem*

GOD TIER:
FISH, CHICKEN, BEEF CRAB

OKAY TIER:
PORK, LAMB, TURKEY, RABBIT

MEH TIER:
VENSION, DUCK, WILD BOAR

CAVEMAN TIER:
BUFFALO, HORSE and any other animal that just fucking idiots eat.

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hussie doesn't mouthpiece through dave anymore, that's what dirk is for.

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Why did Hussie killed it? It was fucking perfect.

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You know that of all the irrelevant trolls hussie hates the most nepeta is like the one he hates the more.

>Hiveswap Act 2

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Meat

Problem Sleuth epilogue FUCKING WHEN??