i will start:
the game can't be played unless you link it to at least three social media accounts and allow it to post things to it on your behalf
ITT: we make the shittiest game possible
Andrew Wilson
Landon Cook
>Poor Sammy had a weird fetish before he knew what a fetish was
Kid's gonna live a rough life of shame and regret.
Jaxon Jackson
we release the game on the switch
Anthony Morris
>The game is online ONLY
>You literally cannot play it at all if you're not connected to the internet, even if it has modes where it shouldn't need internet
A game like that would really fucking suck if it was real, ha ha.
Jacob Smith
Directed by Hideo Kojima
John Ortiz
> game forces you to be online to play
> DLC day one
> no story mode, only online play
> half dozen same types, no custom lobbies
Wyatt Thomas
Game requires you to pee your pants and post a picture of it on those social media accounts. You get a bonus box of MTX loot if you post a video of the entire relieving session.
Juan Thompson
Playtesting handled by valve
Josiah Cox
weapon durability
Josiah Rivera
Oh, and because I forgot until right after I pressed the post button...
>You need to pay for Online, at that.
If I'm paying for your service it better be some top of the line shit, otherwise go fuck yourself.
Tyler Garcia
A game like that would really fucking suck if it was real, ha ha.
meet metal gear survive
Noah Perry
every time the game is patched, you can't play online (and by inference at all) until you patch the game
but the patches cost $20.00 USD and are released biweekly
this cost is separate from the paid online service
Christopher Russell
make the game 16 missions long but give the main part to the new black guy while the old MC gets 6 missions only, give it an entirely irrelevent marketing campeign and then completely fuck the art-style, gameplay, sound direction, OST, tone and design of the entire rest of the series and then tell the old fans they are out of touch when your game dies in a year
Jordan Fisher
When the game was being kickstarted, the dev had a "put your character in" goal, Reize and Duncan were the only ones who made it in
Every boss has a DPS cap
One of the levels has a very cool gimmick that is used three times in that level and never used again
Caleb Gutierrez
It's free to play, but updates keep adding bosses and content you can barely participate in because they're only vulnerable to pay to win weapon bonuses. The bonuses you roll for are in a pool of other useless effects and the ones you want only show up about 1% of the time.
Cooper Rodriguez
>Looter
>Inventory has infinite size
>Can only take out the last item one at a time
Charles Torres
Sony exclusive, story driven, TPS cinematic experience. Main character voiced by Ashley Burch.
Daniel Edwards
You have to have a webcam on recording you at all times.
Joseph Harris
modern "sleek" UI
Hunger meter and "crafting" system
Open World
The fact that it's dozens of gigabytes is a selling point
Backtracking up the ass
Fall damage doesn't scale
Can't swim
Wyatt Smith
It mines crypto on your PC
Robert Rodriguez
Ironically this existed. Arena Wars was a RTS game that required a webcam
Luke Baker
Literally nothing is ever buffed. There are only nerfs and more nerfs.
James Barnes
Different items/weapons/zones/anything are gated behind tedious leveling or a premium currency. There's no way to tell what's worth dropping money on.
everything sucks
David Harris
Turn based combat with random enemy encounters
Kevin Parker
>hold E to loot in a looter game
Joseph Murphy
The dub is horrific, and there are no subs.
Brayden Wright
Long unskippable cutscenes followed bt obtuse QTEs that force you to restart if you fail them. QTEs are not consistent and randomly happen in cutscenes.
Sometimes rnvironmental things kill you and sometimes they dont.
Nathan Cooper
Developed anywhere outside Japan.
Gavin Butler
Create a character for generic hero plot but they hamfist a horrible personality and annoying voice over the character you made anyway. Female has more, better character options but is way more annoying
Evan Collins
The game starts with lolis but they're patched out immediately after an outcry from Jason Schreier. The game is online only so you can't play previous patches. You're only left reminiscing about how great the game used to be.
Jonathan Wilson
I make Battle For Azeroth
Mason Ortiz
>everything sucks
i agree bro. here bro, let me give you a hug
Jeremiah Perez
> Always online and open world
> Mic is required
> Mic always on
Austin Jones
Rewards for missions are loot boxes and you can pay real money to reroll them.