Suddenly all of Yea Forums is transported to city 17. How do we all stop the combine?

that isnt a problem for me.

>Virgins
>Implying wizard powers wouldn't devastate the combine
Also do martial arts as a hobby and have breddy gud aim with pistols. So it's not all hopeless.

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Uh, wtf? Why do you guys have guns?

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>underestimating the power of weaponized autism
If ALL of Yea Forums was just dropped into city 17 one day, we could all collectively shit on the combine, no question.

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That's not enough. We have to rape an advisor. Then the combine will truly know our power

Beat the shit out of a metro cop then start shitposting at the AI on the radio.

Do you think we could get the ai to say whatever we want? What would we say to the combine around the world?

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I would've just joined the CP just so I can beat the shit out of you faggots.

Seriously
>Suicidal or ambiguous to death
>Probably insane by most peoples standards
>Would blow up entire city blocks just for shits and giggles
>Would reeee for the whole city to hear once they realize there's no Vidya
>All those wannabe Virgil's and Dante's getting their chance to shine
Shit would be amazing.

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this would be the right start, all 200-ish of us could find a cop or two every night and start jumping them for their equipment
But then comes the issue that we're all miscounts and aren't classified as civilians of City 17, so we'd have to start jumping a bunch of other citizens and fill in their places until we become the regular society. With enough time and patience maybe we'd kill and replace all of City 17's lower class before the Combine learn that something strange is happening

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Maybe we can communicate to the combine overlords in other universes and corrupt them.

>200-ish of us
There's gotta be more of us than just that

well my first move is to get far the fuck away from all of you to avoid the massive amounts of trouble that you'll all surely bring on yourselves.

John Carpenter-kun guide us

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So it's just the yearly Yea Forums Synergy playthrough?

youtu.be/W-LMXP5sQTk

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This. There's quite a few here. And even then we can likely do more damge than 1000 men could.

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The atmosphere in the whole series is God tier
I fucking hate Valve so much

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>stop the combine
what kind of person do you think would join the combine, because I'm pretty sure they're browsing Yea Forums

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i got no idea what the actual number could be, the optimist in me wants to say it could be more or less a thousand users suddenly dropped in, but i just used 200 as a baseline

i'd shove you down into the Route Kanal just to spite you user

Nobody, most likely cause joining them would mean death one way or the other.

Unless you're talking about the police, you legit have to be a retard to join the combine willingly. You stop being yourself and just become a mindless drone for a bunch of slugs in another universe.

Im guessing you believe that many would join because they can beat people up. But we'd cause much more carnage if we all worked against the combine. Hell, id join just to watch the citadel burn to ash as 500+ autists screech around me

>WAH LOSE MONEY FOR MY ENJOYMENT
look at all the devs that have been swallowed or failed. Yet valve survives.

making video single player video games is a fools errand. nu-GOW with all it's hype and massive sales likely only made a tiny profit likely similar to something like the profit of one month of an Overwatch event

You know needs to get posted
youtube.com/watch?v=ULWgEnnmcv4

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Why stop the Combine when I could report you to Civil Protection for an extra meal ration?

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I’d probably grab the nearest pallet and use hop my way to Breens office. Then I’d shit in one of his desk drawers and fly away

Viva la revolution faggot. Nice dubtrips though.

The civil protection officers sound human, and Barney is able to blend in among them without raising suspicion. Are they not just dudes in fancy armor?

My thoughts exactly. Fat/v/irgins would jump on the opportunity to avenge their virginity by oppressing their own species and deciding who gets to be a stalker.

Aside from a couple of aliens don't the combine pretty much just use traditional humans as enforcement? Best way to overthrow City 17 would be to do it the October Revolution way, an elite vanguard of /k/fags with weapons to take strategic points of the city like communications, armouries and means of transport, food supply, etc.

On the other hand, once City 17 is taken by the re/v/olutionaries we're pretty much fucked. Combine have multiple dimensions worth of resources to draw from while the newly liberated Yea Forums-city would have a shitty area in Eastern Europe. Yea Forums-city would either collapse from the Combine bombarding it because I doubt they give a shit about human lives and destroying it or from internal strife as the elite Yea Forumsanguard implement mandatory "please be my gf i'm so lonely" laws

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Why not just kill the alien bastards and take ALL of the ration?

The CPs are human sure, but they are constantly reminded that for rank privileges they must undergo a memory wipe. The soldiers are just cyborg drones.

They're modified, transhuman. It's plausible to assume Barney gets great deal of help from Kleiner in order to blend in. He also implies that his cover could be blown at any instant.

>Half of Yea Forums are poojeets.

>CP

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do i get a rebelfu?

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soilent communists

But if the citadel is destroyed properly, then they can't bring any more reinforcements from homeworld. And as you saw in hl2, they really wanted some reinforcements. So if we can take that then we may have quite the chance.

hold on i just realized something important, the citizens of City 17 are being fed rations everyday by their overlords. As sudden drop ins we're not obligated to daily feedings, in fact i think they'd rather shoot us dead than do the extra paper work to sign us up as civilians. The Rebels would be too suspicious of us too, so we gotta start from the 'Jump a Cop every night for their guns and armor' square
From here we have the options of raiding Rebel supply cache to supply our weapons, and starting a temporary life in the sewers of the City. From there we hunt the pest species like Headcrabs and maybe Barnacles if they're edible, maybe any stray native Humans if we're desperate, before using any supplies we raid from both the Combine and Rebels to gear ourselves up. Maybe from this point the 'kill and replace' strategy might work on the Civilians
I think the point a Surveyor Bot or whatever snaps a picture of the sewer hideout is the point where the whole operation falls apart, so obviously that means no one is allowed to leave during daylight, we'd all be molemen by necessity to maximize survival

Jack off in front of every Combine officer just to show that no suppression field can't stop me.

and how do we deal with the citadel itself? even with an all out Yea Forumsirgin assault we would still need a gravity gun from somewhere.

spawn a bunch of trains til the server crashes

I propose we head out in search of that deus ex machina time machine thing and reverse engineer it to work on the whole planet. We'll need three teams,one to find it,, one to head over to Aperture and see if we can come to a trucewith Glados, and one to kill Alex (this teams probably gonna die cause we probably gotta kill Gordon to get to her) Fuck beating the combine, I'll take a stalemate over complete obliteration.

Suppression Field removes your ability to get boners user, at best you'd be waving a deflated willy at them

Why would we want to stop columbine? Wait what?

That wont stop him

Bombs, lots and lots of bombs.

I thought it just made fertilization impossible?

I pick up the can

it was supposed to kill boners to but all the half-life 2 rpers pushed that it only removed fertilization so they can erp

Did I stutter? My floppy dick would defile every camera, gas mask, apcs, striders, Breen's desk and Mossman's sweatshirt it would inspire a legion of dick flopping resistance fighters.

It's only a matter of time before the Combine come back if the portal is destroyed on our end since they know where we are now, and we know that they desperately want our portal technology
Humanity is fucked, pure and simple. Our only hope was to not attract their attention in the first place

Fuck that, I'm joining Civil Protection.

I thought the reason they were able to make it here was because many portals were opened after HL1 and this was solved in episode 2.

What the fuck is city 17? Have they got porn?

Memes.

YOU FUCKED UP MY FACE

put a phys_prop in front of them so they can't see you.

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The best kind, since they're fully modeled.

Ah, right. I was assuming that even with the Citadel destroyed there would be other Citadels the Combine could use, but apparently with the destruction of the Citadel in City 17 the other ones are destroyed as well. All I remember from Half Life 2's ending is that you have the blue gravity gun and you throw the orbs into the Citadel to blow it up. In order for the new re/v/olutionary Yea Forumsanguard to take the Citadel and blow it up it would likely require human wave attacks to throw the orbs that kill you if you touch them into the core.

I suggest we gather up the Cunny posters as the final squad who will heroically sacrifice themselves.

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>numale panics and calls the cops
>Civil Protection show up
>smash his iPhone X and beat him up real good
>after a stint in the combine gulags he drags himself home, opens a bottle of Onions
>"at least I'm on the right side of history"

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Combine's regular operation is opening portals between universes. Us blowing our own universe wide open made it easy for them to find us and get here, but now they know where we are and we have things they want

Wasn't the whole theme of Epistle 3 that stopping the Combine was utterly impossible?

For some reason that only works on turret gunners.

I'm going to use you to fill my beating quota, OP. Better living quarters and food coming right up.

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wasn't the only reason they got here in the first place because of that whole portal shitstorm in hl1? by the time the citadel falls those werent a thing anymore.

You do realize that only happens on easy mode, right? You are not actually retarded and only played the game on easy setting, right?

It was probably made that way so you could take cover better during that part.

>That prop has been added to the blacklist!

Even then, its better to die than to be controlled by the combine, just cause as much shit as possible for them, it wont be much to them but it's worth it.

>get to abuse authority and punish people for no reason
Metrocops are the jannies of the Half-Life world.

>pussy out when the civil war starts
Accurate

>it was supposed to kill boners to but all the half-life 2 rpers pushed that it only removed fertilization so they can erp
Citation needed. The only time canon elaborates on the suppression field is in Doctor Kleiner's episode 1 broadcasts.

how suspicious would it be if roughly a thousand new applications were suddenly submitted for Civil Protection?

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youtube.com/watch?v=koA_9mLEMxM

Happens on all settings. Has nothing to do with difficulty.

y-yes sir, sorry sir.

Irish car bombs

>People are living in City 17, it's bleak and mediocre, but at least people are somewhat safe. People go day-to-day hungry and worried that the police will kick down their door and arrest them
>Suddenly in the middle of a busy street an autistic virgin pulls down his pants and starts smearing shit over the pavement
>"BRAPPPPPPPPPFFFTTTTT UH OH STINKYYYYYYY :))) CLEAN IT UP JANNIES PRFFTTTTTT WHAT ARE SOME GAMES WHERE I CAN HAVE SEX WITH MY 7 YEAR OLD NIECE CUTE AND FUNNY!! CUTE AND FUNNY!!"

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If we're all going there anyway, can I be the announcer guy who says ":Welcome to. City 17." over the loudspeaker? I called it first. Also, SHOTGUN! Ha, suck it nerds.

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>that old as fuck meme
its still kino

>an oppressive, totalitarian state that wants to destroy human nature would allow humans to retain one of their most basic instincts by still feeling arousal
>an oppressive, totalitarian state that wants to destroy human nature would allow humans to experience sexual release
an oppressive, totalitarian state that wants to destroy human nature would allow humans to bond by engaging in lovemaking
The theory that the Combine suppression field would somehow allow for humans to feel arousal and the need to procreate does not stick unless the Combine get re-written to be extra nice exterminators.

Wtf I love this thread now

What is the Middle East

Beats the hell outta me, but if we're all going to City 17, I'm sure someone will know.

>gets tased into submission by metrocops
>"ADMIN ABUSE ADMIN ABUSE ADMIN ABUSE UNBAN ME NOOOOOOWWWWWW"

>implying I wouldn't rat out Yea Forums operations in order to gain combine favoritism and live a cushy life

Also not to mention the whole "totalitarian state stopping sexual freedoms" thing is straight from 1984

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There's a snake in my boots

How the fuck do we take out an advisor? Can we save eli from them?

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Gamers rise up

Having a big wank in the street with the lads.

Im assuming that all 800+ of us replace Gordon. So that means one of us can have the gravity gun. We just have to keep it out of combine hands

Yea Forums rp server when?

There's got to be an upper limit to their psychokinesis. I doubt a single advisor could stand up to the onslaught of hundreds of perverts desperate to use it as a living onahole.

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>the fate of the world rests on 800 terrified autists trying to find the one retard in the group with a gravity gun

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do we have to share alyx?

dog beat one of them up, i think enough people could kill one, or better yet torture/rape it so the combine know not to mess with us

You can keep your shitty Alyx, I want a Strider gf

Out-think it.

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800+ virgins can obliterate an advisors. We could make their entire race our own personal dick holster if we joined forces.
Id assume we could share her. Id prefer to have a female combine assassin. I know they have to exist

>Half-Life

Get that dead Boomer shit out of here

I guess you get it. I hope you say some autistic shit to spook combines.
Also that gets me thinking, what are we gonna do with breen?

The Combine suppression field has no effect on incels

QUICK EVERYONE CUM IN MY MOUTH

What combine? Take your meds, schizo.

From what i know, they can catch any projectile and can likely fuck up anyone that comes close just with mind powers. But i don't imagine they can catch beams. So what if we all start ripping tau cannons off of buggies and use them? Fry the bastard

That's not a citation, that's an assumption.
Besides, if the Combine could destroy the human ability to feel arousal, why stop there? Why not destroy the ability to feel "rebellious" at that point?

In any case, Doctor Kleiner explicitly describes the suppression field as interrupting key enzymes that facilitate child bearing:
>Previously, certain protein chains important to the process of embryonic development were selectively prevented from forming...
youtu.be/6pcCFZZLmeQ?t=19
That's not to say the combine want you to tug on your dick or fuck your wife, but that the ability to stop you from doing that is much harder than simply making fucking your wife pointless.

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>he thinks the combine suppression fields purpose is to make you not want to have sex
user...

I dunno, these Gamers are the same people who unironically defend games like Fallout: New Vegas, Twilight Princess, Bioshock, and Halo.
Are you sure they're gonna be better than the Combine? The Combine have completely eliminated the scourge that is 30fps, DLC, matchmaking, and always-online by eliminating entertainment as a whole. I mean I know the Combine have their problems, what with the genocide and oppression and enslavement, but if it eliminates Nintendo and Sony then maybe it's for the best.

But can't we grow shit? Or herd chickens? Do we really need to eat barnacles and shit? Hell, id eat a vort before i eat a man

>from internal strife as the elite Yea Forumsanguard implement mandatory "please be my gf i'm so lonely" laws
Yea Forums collapsing from internal strife is like an ocean collapsing from rain.

Why didn't we just make Tau cannons the standard issue gun?

What do you mean? Make tau cannons the offical Yea Forums death squad gun of choice. They're a little hard to find. But we could likely have a bunch to pass around if we search for them.

Because the technology was still in prototype stage at the time the Combine invaded and after that Eli and company only had paperclips and spit to build shit with.

Allow in uncontrolled numbers of Muslim migrants

>You stop being yourself and just become a mindless drone for a bunch of slugs in another universe.
Nintendo and Sony fans, got it.

You know, its kind of stupid for valve to put all the taus on buggies. They were going to bring it back for the player to have. I assume there are quite a few out there for us to use. Hell, there may even be a few glue on guns. Either way we could get our hands on some mighty fine equipment

The Tau gun wasn't yield-able because they didn't want to make the maps tau-jump proof. It was easier for Half-Life 1 because the maps are tighter.

In-universe though, they managed to get one to the area around City 17. Eli and company probably had zero communication with anyone in any other city outside of the occasional message a citizen could bring in when re-located.

i call dibs on the gravity gun!

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We don't

>all of Yea Forums massacres/ rapes the combine at city 17
>citadel destroyed
>eli likely saved from the advisors by virgin death squad
>everyone gets to the borealis
>fucks up the combine even more
>captures the borealis
>all become space pirates sailing across time
Feels good, man

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You mean that Peter Pan prequel movie is canon in the Half-Life universe?

>half-life 2 rpers
Lol what, these exist?

You better be prepared to sacrifice yourself to destroy the citadel. Unless the gman wants to save you. But if he already had a few hundred goons working for him, who knows if he saves you.

Follow Freeman

Lol

Any kind of roleplayer exists in Garry's Mod, zoomer.

You literally aren't responsible for your own safety in most cases m8

Actually, now this has me wondering. The OP never specified whether we replace Gordon or we just pop in alongside him. What the fuck do we do with Gordon? Assuming he is still there and not replaced by hundreds of autists.

hey, i got nothing to lose pal, also dibs on the HEV

>What the fuck do we do with Gordon?
obviously, we kill him (somehow) and we steal his identity (somehow).

HL2RP (the one befoe Gmod) is THE reason rp exists in any game today.

>1984 removes faggotry
Fuck me, is 1984 really -better- than the society we live in?
How far have we fallen.

we live in brave new world, 1984 is a meme

Besides, if the Combine wanted to make fucking your wife pointless they'd broadcast Dr. Phil and Oprah rather than enzyme inhibitors.

It might be best for you to have the hev, unless there are more for us to have. We need to be able to easily tell who has the gravity gun. If we lose you, we're fucked

1984 is impossible, we live in a mix of a lot of dystopian fictions.

But if we kill freeman would the gman be against us? Should/ could we kill him too?

Don't remember the exact quote but in game it's explained that the suppression field specifically disrupts embryonic proteins from forming. You could still fuck and get horny but you'd just get instant stillbirth each time.

It'd end up like one of those games of Synergy or Obsidian Conflict only with more people throwing shit and some contrarians siding with the combine. Alyx would end up being groped constantly and we'd lose a large amounts of Yea Forumsirgins to headcrabs and zombies.

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See

I think most would stay together as one for a while just because we just got teleported into a new place for no reason. If you were suddenly in city 17 you may be likely to stay with others in the same boat. But as everyone gets together and settled down a bit things would start splitting. Some would want to run. others want to be edgy and join the combine for muh rations. But im confident 85% of the board would stay together and put up a decent fight. If we stay in squads headcrabs and such shouldn't be a problem. You are right about alyx though. However she may kill a few anons so she'd either die or would become Yea Forums's sex slave.

go grab some guns and slay those ninjas like nigga what's the problem

And you trust someone else with that responsibility? With your life?

dont forget 'impulse 101'

Most of the wildlife is extinct man

Im guessing it wouldn't be that hard desu. Besides, once the suppression fields are down, they'll likely be hornier than you can imagine

>85% of the board would stay together

I'd lower that number user. I doubt 85% of the board could agree on anything in particular. Regular headcrabs wouldn't be a problem but without the hev suit poison zombies would be even more dangerous and fast zombies would spook a decent amount of us. The survivors would end up making Doom Guy look like a school girl though.

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>That one user who learned how to run 200 mph backwards and climb skyscrapers by jumping on a barrel

Fuck that, I'm gonna go have me lots of sex with zero risk of pregnancy.

Well if i was thrown into this, my first thought would be to at least have a squad of 6 with me. With that, shit wouldn't be that spooky. Zombies wouldn't be that much of an issue. Especially once we have proper weapony. Then even the faster zombies would be fucked. As long as we have decent aim. But hell, even a crowbar can do hefty damage to many combine troops. It would be in our best interests to stick together. I get some anons are truly autistic, but i have a bit of faith in us.

If we could actually abuse things like in the game itself, then we could get through without a problem. Just tape a can over your face the whole time and no one will even fire at you.

I think you can get hard, but it more or less acts as global birth control with 100% effectiveness

The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world

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I'd join the combine because the combine have solved the problems of Nintendo, Sony, Bethesda, Jews, and respect of women (indeed respect of humanity in general).
If Humanity rises up, who's to say that those things won't resurface, like a tumor becoming malignant?
Extinction is a preferable alternative to Amiibos. Praise Our Benefactors.

Can you fuck a strider?

>i can't fix my problems
>guess i'll die
I guess you will. I'll run you over with my new captured combine LAV

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Nah. Imagine it like this.
There's one anxious user quivering in the corner, with some thigh socks he's fashioned out of discarded rags, quivering and crying as he tries to shave his bearded face with broken glass, and mugging people for their water rations when he's not even thirsty, because he heard that the water rations have estrogens in them.
The group approaches him to lend him a hand, and he bends over and exposes his hairy ass, screaming "n-n-no bully".

Some of the group will say he's one of us and that we should stick together.
Some of the group will want to fuck him because they haven't had a girlfriend and argh they're so lonely.
Some of the group will want to execute him.
Some of the group will want to ignore him.
Someone will say "if he was cute, would it still be gay?"
Regardless of which group wins, group cohesion is shattered.

Look at the 2018 April Fools event. People dropped into 5 teams. Do teams co-operate with each-other? No, they race to see who can surrender the fastest.
All the combine will have to do is offer pleated skirts to people who submit to them, rather than food or shelter, and half of Yea Forums would surrender within 7 hours.
Unless they're Team Mini or Peep I suppose, but even then there were defectors.
In the fight to keep the group unified, you'd break it apart.

letsa meme

>The right man in the wrong place

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I think this is more about the wrong men in the right place

True, a captured combine LAV would be a wonderful solution to a lot of problems.
Starting to reconsider my position. I mean if we can overthrow the Combine, then we might also be able to overthrow people who tolerate 30fps and 20tickrate.

Only one way to find out. Find a way to get the bastard down and it's ass is ours

And that right place is that Civil Protection Officer's rectum.

>not beating the entire combine army to death with your bare hands
pussy

Helicopter!

>not beating the pussy to death with your bare hands
entire combine army

>All the combine will have to do is offer pleated skirts to people who submit to them, rather than food or shelter, and half of Yea Forums would surrender within 7 hours.

You're assuming the combine would be able to understand their speech. Even if you had someone like Breen telling the combine they have a new squad of goons in exchange for pleated skirts and hormones, they'd probably think he's fucking with them.

But yes there would be a decent chunk of Yea Forums that would sell out the resistance if there's a chance they could get some alien pocket pussy. Some would do it just because.

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But many of those were submissive because of sexual shit. If you're in a war, it's life or death. And death isn't sexy. Sure there wouldn't be a war at first but once a few anons start making 9/11 look like a joke, they'll have no choice other than join or die. Sure, it'll be hectic as shit. But much of Yea Forums can survive on it's autism alone.

Nice.

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Man, it would be fun to try some of the weapons. Especially a tau cannon. Or an OICW, if they exist somewhere in city 17. It wouldn't hurt to mess around with a few.

I would form a squad to clear out Ravenholm and live there in peace while the rest of you handle city 17. How many people are on Yea Forums at any given moment anyway? a couple thousand?

We would have to purge a small portion of our group before we really start shit. Maybe we can lock them up and keep them. Who knows.

One here said 200, which is bullshit. Another said 800, which is still likely low. Id say 1200 at least. A damn good battalion of death.
Also i call aperture science. Yall can have the gravity gun. I want Glados

>If you're in a war, it's life or death. And death isn't sexy.
I disagree! You just need time to build up a taste for it. Death is pretty sexy once you get used to it.

If you know what death is like, and enjoy it, does that mean you're dead?

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Oh my bad, I thought you were talking about other people's deaths.

>200 anons flying through the sky above City 17 at over 300mph by pulling on props under their feet

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we will try...

prove it

I'd probably just start trying to make crossbows. Those things will knock down most anything short of a strider, or a chopper.

Actually, that's probably our largest problem, we'd want shitloads of rockets. Though, I'd suggest models WITHOUT the targeting laser, the last thing we want is retards offing themselves trying to make dick squiggles near citadel airspace with RPG contrails.

Personally I'd be trying to hacksaw some kind of compact Combine Energy Ball Launchers, those things are lifesavers in a pinch.

Its simple, we kill the batman.

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Out of 1200 people, there are likely a few that can be trusted with rockets. And once we have a steady supply of them, the striders won't be a problem.

All right. So thus far, we have:
A nihilist
A Space Station 13 assistant
Tenpenny from Wurm Online
Tactical rapist
Man trapped inside level geometry but unable to die
Tactical rapist but specialised for different battlefield conditions
/k/
/k/ but ironic
Man with unrealistically high hopes
Tactical rapist but really hardcore
Fake news reporters getting Overwatch command to mention Navy Seals that aren't going to give you up
Man who hates Yea Forums
Tactical autist (even more threatening than tactical rapist)
Man who clearly did not think his plan through
Terrified civilian
Other man who hates Yea Forums
Nihilist who has gone so far that he now has faith in Yea Forums's combined nihilism like an Ouroboros who has become too apathetic to eat his own tail
Space Station 13 assistant again
Desperate homosexual
Man who clearly HAS thought his plan all the way through
Horny motherfucker
/out/
Yea Forums
Transformice shaman
Yea Forums but militant about it
People arguing about who they can and can not fuck
Antisocial troller
Falseflagging janitor
Nihilistic autist who hates videogames so much that he'd prefer extinction to the mere -possibility- of amiibos
Lonely virgin but heterosexual
Yet more faith in nihilism so strong that it stops being nihilism.
An actual honest to god electrical engineer
Snoy vs. Nintendie shitposter who won't let the absence of either company interfere with his shitposting
Gravity gun hog
Person who has so much faith in humanity as it is that he thinks any possible improvements would fail and has wrapped around to nihilist
Edgy contrarian
Team Peep but really hardcore about it
Terry A. Davis

Team seems a bit imbalanced, we need more autism.

If we come across Gordon we should rob him.

He'll just quickload.

If it's smod c17 then we are fucked.

>imagining a new Half-Life with current tech
youtu.be/-Vu5-NNLaXU

>living onahole

You fuckers drank the water, didn't you?

>implying you wouldn't fuck an advisor
Pleb