Use my microphone in a game

>russian kid starts talking on mic
>start votekick
>everyone votes yes

Attached: 1553030410595.png (600x674, 217K)

>posting frogs
filtered

>use mic in game
>zoomer calls me “daddy“

>speak in mic
>cant hear you speak up
>how old are you man
>i dont know what hes saying
>disconnect and uninstall ggame

Attached: mikeflask.gif (435x250, 2.62M)

D..do they ask for cummies?

>hear other people use mic
>all are charasmatic loveable dudebros
>meanwhile my speech is so fucked no one can understand me the first time i say something
What did I do wrong?

>say something in voice chat
>everyone else falls silent for a couple of seconds
>they resume talking without acknowledging I said anything

Attached: 1522312904702.png (655x509, 28K)

speech more gooder

so why doesn't rich evans drink

>teamed up with black americans
>they all hollaring and shit and having a blast with their hoodspeak
>"erm... hello sirs"

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what episode is this from?

>some kid uses his mic in a game
>say "muted"
>don't actually mute him

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WHo gives a fuck???????????????????????????????????????

Literally talk more specifically for practice, rehearse what you plan to say, project your voice when you do talk instead of mumbling like a fag so that, even if they don't agree with you, at least you were HEARD and the interaction doesn't spin back around to put pressure back onto your neurotic anxiety, slowly dismantling the "people never understand what I say" imagine that you have of yourself. Most people don't have that image of you because it's your first time meeting them. What might feel weird and out of character for you to do is going to be your "default" character according to someone who just met you

Attached: 1551421954802.jpg (960x922, 101K)

>don't use mic in game
>its SCP containment breach
>feel like a fucking loser and stop playing after 1 round

After speaking to people for a couple of hours I just start slurring my speech like crazy and have to stop and go through what I'm saying in my head and pronounce it really slowly to even say anything.

I remember playing CoD back in the day and in each lobby, having to manually mute every single player, because they all insisted on having some shitty rap music playing, or be rapping themselves, or else do some other obnoxious shit that had nothing to do with the game.

Well after a couple hours I'm ready to tell everyone to fuck off so I can go relax and have notfun. Maybe you ought to just be more open and honest. It's easy to get away with saying heinously truthful things if you can put some cheekiness into it.

>speak very close to the mic so it sounds trash and loud

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>guild leader tease me on vent for being a try hard
>talk back saying I top the meters without even trying
>they hear my accent
>the 2 heal sluts whisper me
>start cybering during raid and go to bed with massive blue balls

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>#didn'thappenoftheyearawards

>doesn't know hoodspeak
This nigga's never gonna make it

>have had deep voice since forever
>sounds like James Earl Jones over the mic
>get called old constantly
>only 26

>Haha you sound like a 40 year old child molester xD!
Bitch i'm only 31

but a child molester?

>31
Do you know where you are?

>IT'S MY GAME NOT URS MIND UR OWN BUSINESS WHATEVS
>It's a team based game and they play a critical role that they refuse to do
>U DONT PAY MY SUB/U DIDNT BUY MY GAME
>the game is f2p

>Finally say something thru mic
>Deep voice chad immediately mocks you in a high pitched voice
>Everyone laughs

Attached: 1498222009402.gif (400x282, 1.91M)

me

>Implying porch monkeys are going to let you join in on their hood speak

>Person says "muted"
>They keep responding to the person anyways

>Guy starts speaking
>he has "that" european accent
Muted

Nobody will ever love you, frognigger.

My friend and I do this to randoms in Apex every time we play

it's never not funny

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>use mic
>user why is your voice so deep? stop talking so low

I have a deep voice, I'm not doing it intentionally

Attached: 1536237109648.png (485x443, 25K)

>Have Irish accent
>Go to NA servers
>Get along great with everyone, voice is never an issue and if anything I get the occasional compliment that my accents cool or cute or whatever
>Go to EU servers
>Get talked down to by Germans and French that perpetually sound like they're choking on something
>Get talked down to by Britbongs who sound like they're at the dole queue
>Get talked down to by effeminate Swedish people who sound sexually frustrated
Fuck it I'm just gonna move to America. Which states comfy and won't lynch me for being a faggot?

>Gay
>Irish
Sounds like the EU servers have got it right

Texas is pretty ideal

>smoke weed to improve gaming experience
>anxiety eats me up and I can't even talk

Maine and mmaassaachuussetts

>not being a straight edge gamer

Worse things than being Irish for certain. EU is full of cucks. Meanwhile we've got great education, health care, social welfare, businesses. The only thing that sucks here is that there's not enough housing so the cost of rent is at mortgage levels. I'm proud of what I am.

Weed gaming isn't for talking bro
Weed gaming is for soaking up the experience

This

>Burp on mic
>Fart on mic
>That guy who brings his mic to the bathroom and pisses audibly
>That guy witch lung cancer hacks up on mic
>That one guy who has a cute sneeze on mic
>That one guy with screaming infants in the background
>That one guy who puts his mic in his mouth and starts to chew it

Attached: 1550145099065.jpg (941x905, 238K)

>That guy who keys up explicitly to sneeze or cough
>Every
>Time

>The only thing that sucks here is that there's not enough housing so the cost of rent is at mortgage levels
I thought the irish built too many houses and there are literally deserted towns. Isn't that what caused their economy to collapse.

>talk in-game
>"show me your tits, bitch"
I just want to play games

Attached: 1553573497469.jpg (689x473, 43K)

Gainesville is trash.

stfu and post your tits, cunt

>have social intelligence of a twelve-year-old
>unbind push to talk
>"yeah my mic is broken sorry"

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no

You gotta come up ovah to fuccillo kia it's gonna be yuge

>use my mic
>what are you how can you my gay granpa fought you in normandy for the gender equality

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A placed filled with 14 year olds but I can't leave even though I hate everyone under ~23.

All privately owned. Sadly it's not in the hands of the government so it can't be given to those in need of housing. So you have these jews fucking everyone over.

>use voice chat
>"stfu use text chat i hate hearing your accent"
>tfw i'm american

Attached: 1523683430511.png (423x491, 225K)

I know that feel
I'm 31 too

That's in Cape Coral, which is also trash. Fuccillo is actually fucking huge though.

>smoke weed
>doh duhdohdoh huh huh huh huh *INHALE*

Attached: It's Medicinal.jpg (320x320, 18K)

>irish
>love american accents
>especially southern states
Can we just merge Ireland with the states already?

It's always the jews with you people

Weed makes my asshole feel weird.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expulsions_and_exoduses_of_Jews

If your from the midwest, especially Minnesota or Wisconsin, your voice is the worst sound in the universe.

>tfw anxiety eats me up and I can't even talk and I don't even smoke weed or do drugs of any kind

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>like dude I'm American like we don't have accents man

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Fuccillo's all over FL though
fucking carpetbagger New Yorker too

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>See Twitch suddenly fall in love with GTAIV roleplay
>All these guys are able to communicate spontaneously with each other and weave stories to great comedic effect
>People in here can barely string together more than 2 words in voice chat before being compelled to uninstall their computer and kill themselves

Why this massive discrepancy in human abilitiy?

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Based fuccillo poster

I didn't choose the autism. The autism chose me.

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Doubt you're just some fag who likes to use anxiety as an excuse

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YUGE

Shows how much I know. I thought he just had the one in New York and the one in Cape. Also, when he disappeared for like six months a few years and Kelly or whatever her name at the time was did all the commercials, he was definitely in jail right?

>allergy season
>already don't have that deep of a voice
>voice comes through nasally due to allergies
>people never believe that I'm black

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No one, neither black nor white person is going to appreciate your mock attempt at ebonics. It's cringe inducing when a non-black does that shit.

>you're just some fag who likes to use anxiety as an excuse
..an excuse for what?
yeah no my crippling social anxiety and social autism is just my excuse for wanting to suck dicks lmao fuck yourself

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weird how your social anxiety doesn't effect you when it comes to arguing

>>That guy who brings his mic to the bathroom and pisses audibly
I do that. I only use text to actually communicate too.

yeah weird how being anonymous through text lets me open up like that

It's only cringe depending on where you grew up.
I grew up in a black neighborhood even though i'm white, just where my parents decided to live. Great community but the kids were "hood" and "street" so they were using all the typical black slang and whatnot. I took it up since I grew up with the kids and nobody cared that I acted like they did, I was just another kid to them.

I don't think you understand how this works.

weird how you supposedly have crippling anxiety yeah for some magical reason you're able to argue and be as cocky as you are
No i do

>Hear someone talks over the mic
>Dude is that your real voice, you sound like a faggot?
gets em every time

Attached: (1146).png (512x512, 159K)

DUDE

>No i do
You absolutely don't.

>Interacting with anonymous people in an anonymous text-based setting is the same as voice chatting
I'm happy you have a better life-experience than us

I heard he was up in Albany doing commercials during that time

I'm honestly starting to consider drinking when my friends start nudging me into using my mic. I don't know what happened to me, but I just don't know what to say ever, and when I do, I fail to articulate my thoughts or they're delivered deadpanned.

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>South Dublin accent
>"you sound like that guy from Bioshock"
>"GODDAMN SPLOICERS" etc
Relatively common. From black dudes especially. That VA wasn't even Irish, but he could have fooled me.

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almost like what would normally impair me socially doesn't apply in a completely anonymous environment with no actual connection to me nor is my voice involved

how are you not getting this

i absolutely do
so your anxiety only concerns your voice?
i'm getting the fact you don't have legit anxiety and probably never diagnosed with it properly because being afraid of someone hearing your voice isn't anxiety

You live in a world where people were here before you. Deal with it faggot.

>Never voice-chatted
>Set so I can't receive messages
>Always 'offline' so the few guys I know in real life who were like "hey user, you like video games too, just add me, here's my handle" don't invite me to play with them
>Forever alone even online
Why is autism even a thing?

>so your anxiety only concerns your voice?
way to completely disregard the anonymous factor as if that doesn't matter whatsoever

it really shouldn't just because you're anonymous means nothing i can still think you're stupid which should bother you if you have actual anxiety which once again highly doubt

No my anxiety concerns interacting with people.
You all may as well just be NPCs on here. I can just close my tab with no repercussions.

>have deep voice and raised in a black household
>no one ever believes me that I'm actually white

>"No one really has anxiety/depression, they just need to man up!"-fags
Fuck off, dude.

Don’t worry user I’ll get you some ADAM

then i doubt you have crippling anxiety as you said if it doesn't bother you on an anonymous image board
never said that i'm just saying 99.99% of people who say they have anxiety/depression don't actually have it at all

>say something in game
>"dude you sound gay"
god fucking dammit.

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Not a single one is diagnosed, probably.

>say something
>BLYAD SUKA COMRADE VERY FUNNY AMIRIGHT COMRADE

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>all these fags bickering about who has more anxiety instead of fuccilloposting
Im tellin ya these anons they gotta come down to Fuccillo Kia we give it to you straight, we got snacks, beautiful waiting room, it's gonna be HUGE

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yeah you clearly don't get it
last (You) you're getting from me bucko

I don't think you understand that there's a substantial difference between one-to-one conversation and scattering text to the ether on an anonymous forum.

Not even slav, and even I'm sick of those memes when my group runs into a russki.

Try smoking it instead of sticking it in your shitter

I actually I am diagnosed but I guess some randos on Yea Forums clearly know better and have complete thoroughly exhausted knowledge on the ins and outs of anxiety and depression better than anybody else.

>I'm not talking about everyone. I'm just talking about 99.99% of people.
Fuck off, dude.

of course there is a difference never said there wasn't but someone with actual anxiety has issues with any form of contact with another human be it through text or not

>then i doubt you have crippling anxiety as you said if it doesn't bother you on an anonymous image board
But anonymously you can be anybody, like you pretending like you know what the fuck you're talking about.
In anything that is real life or can link back to me through a username etc I can't deal.

>loud scream in the background of someones mic
>"I'll be right back."

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every person i've ever met with genuine anxiety and depression don't talk about it at all

>implying I'm not anxious right now

t. has a stress related heart problem at 25

C'mon!

>someone with ACTUAL anxiety does this
whoops guess my anxiety is fake guess I better tell my body that so it can stop pretending haha

so you don't have social anxiety you just don't want people to find out you're a fucked up individual and if you're anonymous you have nothing to worry about

I guess you're right. I'm living a lie. The doctor must've prescribed me with beta-blockers and diazepam as a joke.

Almost like that's not something I'd talk about in real life or with another human, but on an anonymous imageboard it doesn't really matter !!!!!!
Christ it's like you have the mental comprehension of a 14 year old who thinks he knows everything.

you don't know what you're talking about, if you actually did you would understand the psychological implications of anonymity. even yourself, i guarantee would not say any of this shit if it was attributable to you as a human and not just some anonymous shitposter on a taiwanese moving picture enthusiast's fan club

if you were anxious this entire time why didn't you say that instead of saying you didn't care at all then?
doesn't change the fact you fags falunt muh mental illness everywhere you go for sympathy points
a lot of doctors over prescribe yes also Diazepam doesn't actually work it's a placebo

>you have the mental comprehension of a 14 year old who thinks he knows everything.
I wonder why that might be.

>you just don't want people to find out you're a fucked up individual and if you're anonymous you have nothing to worry about
Yeah I'm very anxious about that in a social setting

That's your boipussi ovulating for cock.

you post about it on an anonymous imageboard for a couple of sympathy points and to see if some other faggot like you would want to erp because XDDD kawaii nervous boy
how can you guarantee that for a fact?

You were born into a family brainwashed into thinking that carbs are good and animal fats are bad, and so your hormones are all fucked up

>YOU'RE UNDIAGNOSED
>no I'm not
>YES YOU ARE YOUR DOCTOR IS JUST INCOMPETENT
I guess you know best squirt.

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Or maybe I just posted about it because it's kind of related to the thread topic? Jesus fucking christ.

>hurr durr i totally have anxiety guys
>like totally
>muh testicles sweating rite noe dude
>people sweat then they're nervous so I totally have anxiety guys

You're just being melodramatic.

these threads are always made for erp faggots to meet up
same for steam friend threads

The autism here is HUGE, come on down to Fuccillo Kia we'll get you two a new Forte to bang in, no credit needed guys. It's gonna be HUGE

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your doctor probably is incompetent though that or you yourself lie to your doctor
there is a difference with being anxious and having actual anxiety

you would have inhibition borne from anxiety of being proven a retard who's opinions are formed from a speck of truth (namely that depression is over diagnosed in the first world,) and bias. if you actually don't care why don't you go be an activist about how psychiatry is a lie instead of hiding behind a veil of anonymity that immunizes you from public discourse that would expose how weak and trivial your arguments are.

I already know I have autism.
It doesn't help with my social anxiety

>in a raid with randoms waiting for +
>hear someones mother starting to yell about how he should get a job
>he parries with "then find me one"
>she tells she`s not going to
>he tells that if she insists he`s gonna go deal drugs

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Are you anxious when you have a big shit?

why would i do that sounds like a huge waste of time

I'm so anxious at all times that I literally rip my hair out uncontrollably like a deranged parrot.
But I guess you're right, I can type on an anonymous image board so I must be fine.

he sounds based

not him but sometimes i have such a huge shit that i get anxious i might've ripped my asshole so i jump in the shower to make sure i'm not bleeding out my ass

>Your doctor is incompetent or you're lying to him. I can tell from this 15 minute conversation on an anonymous Christmas sweater-knitting forum.
Why do you insist on pretending you have any kind of insight on that user's situation? Not to mention better insight than a medical professional would have.

The only human beings that I am able to speak this freely with in real life are my parents. My heart beats out of my chest before I send an instant message to someone. I had to get counselling to be able to interact with strangers at all. But no, I'm just faking it for attention because some retard on the internet who doesn't punctuate his sentences told me so.

You have the autism?
Like for real?

Do you eat your own shit, and all that?

He's making purposely inflammatory statements for the (you)'s
It's trolling 101 bro

prove it post a picture of your hair my dude
why would you incorrectly quote me like that user i said probably i'm just going off what i assume and i assume he's lying about having any form of mental illness my guy

me not punctuating my sentences is irreverent
also if you were able to get better through counselling alone you clearly didn't have any form of mental illness

No I don't eat my own shit.
I didn't know that was the top of the diagnostic criteria. But I guess you know best Dr. Cohen.

Sorry too anxious to post pictures

> jump in the shower to make sure i'm not bleeding out my ass
So... anymore to that protocol?

You're already on the toilet why would you jump off and contaminate the floor with your (hypothetical) ass shit blood?

>Sorry too anxious to post pictures
i likely excuse my friend

>That one guy who puts his mic in his mouth and starts to chew it
I'm going to kick him in the dick if I ever meet him

>me not punctuating my sentences is irreverent
You're being extremely irreverent, yes.

You've lost your edge trollbro.
Have fun with the rest of the thread, I'll stop indulging you.

Surely you must eat just a bit of poop now-and-then right?

>if you were able to get better
Being able to just about buy sandwiches without running away isn't "better".

>use mic
>"are you gay?"
The fact that the question was completely serious and not asked in a mocking tone is what hurt

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Spending a little less time on this site might help your situation

funny joke my dude but not good enough it's weird how you all fall on the ole ad homos once you realise you're wrong
surely you don't believe i'm just a troll my dude and you're surely not trying to imply this entire time you were merely indulging me and didn't take it all 100% seriously

well are you actually gay?

You caught me.
My dick in my pants is throbbing with excitement. (No, no, my penis doesn't have social anxiety (because of the fact it's fiction) calm down!)

yes it is you are better than you were so you are 100% better
counselling is fucking useless for actual mental illnesses it's for dipshits like you who've been tricked into thinking he's ill

>actual mental illnesses
Please give us some examples of mental illnesses that you consider legitimate.

>animeposter
are you gay?

No. But my voice does sound super gay though

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anxiety and depression that aren't cured by a simple counselling meeting

>use mic ingame
>people think im a child

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>Use mic
>Husky smoker woman clearly in her upper 40's or higher responds "You sound cute hun'"
>Leave server

You're too self-conscious

Fun fact: the more you are conscious of something the more you fuck it up. The conscious mind can only focus on so much before becoming functionally useless.

>use mic
>"who is that nerdy sounding person"
or
>don't use mic
>"we'd be winning if everyone would use their mics"

>Get in match
>American boomers circlejerking and talking about everything but the game

alternatively

>Get in match
>Boomers trying to direct the team somewhere, no clue how to give out concise comms, milspeak shit everywhere

not sure which is more aggravating, boomers talking about their wives or "Target Highlander IIC, 12 o clock, focus fire on the Highlander Juliet, twelve o clock" from five different boomers roleplaying

I fucking hate mwo

>be in some combat game
>have tendencies to speak fast when in clutch situations during team coordinate tactics
>enemy players got helicopter out and about to use it at our location
>go and alert everyone about the helicopter
>"Alert, we got an enemy helicopter heading directly towards our location! Everyone get ready and get those rockets ready now!"
>what i actually said was this
>"ARET! WE GOT BAD HERICOPTER HEADING TO US NOW! GET RPG OUT NOW SHIET!"
>entire team on my side all assume I'm asian because of my fast talk and choice of pronouncing the words by accident
>try saying im not asian but get distracted by three enemies
>accidentally say "FUCK YOU SHIT FUCK DIE DAMNIT BAD BASTARD!" gun two down and melee the third guy to death
>the team burst out laughing and congrats me on taking out the guys and we took down the helicopter
>the pilot gets out before it goes down and i run over and gun him down with pistol and in a rush i shout "YOU FUCK AT FLYING DIE NOW BITCH!"
>guy on our side say "dude it's okay we know your asian don't have to hide it."
>I'm not asian though
>I'm actually white...
>mfw

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>a simple counselling meeting
Just the one, was it?

]greentexting
Don't you know blacktexting is the future, old man?

doesn't matter how many there was counselling doesn't help people with real issues

correct. anxiety and depression is simply a new age meme.

the medical companies are joshing you for your money

>some guy starts talking
>effeminate male voice
>starts listing off his effeminate male opinions about stupid shit no one cares about

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>unironically being American

Attached: 1403737920759.gif (600x338, 423K)

コニチワ あのねさん

I believe your being intentionally obtuse.
Just because my penis is on my body doesn't mean it's mine.

If there was dust on you, you wouldn't say the dust was you, would you?

You still haven't told me what you consider to be "real issues".

>sound normal 99% of the time
>someone walking by on the sidewalk says hey while I'm spacing out
>respond back in the softest voice imaginable
Every time.

i care, user

so shut your fucking trap - huh bitch!

I stand on a bridge roughly once every other month thinking about killing myself. I always decide against it but it's enough for me to walk all the up the bridge with that intent.

>You still haven't told me what you consider to be "real issues"
I'd consider which sauce will go with my steak, which beer do I fancy today, and is my dick too big for vaginas to be real issues.

It's just in your head bro, depression isn't real.

I'm glad you don't jump to conclusions, user.

That's a result of your issues, that user asked what your issues are what what you think "real issues" consist of

Nobody cares about your pity party. Everyone's depressed.