Games where I can play as a monkey?

wow wtf are you racist or something?

Timesplitters series

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Super Monkey Ball
Any game with Donkey/Diddy Kong
GTA:SA

GTA:SA

Doesn't change the fact that people here seem to love monkeys though

>overwatch
that was uncalled for

Enslaved.

Obligatory GTA San Andreas

Very human like and intelligent.

Simple as that. That's why people love apes and monke

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Peter Jackson's King Kong The Movie The Game

Attached: monkey.webm (624x396, 2.32M)

San Andreas

This is now a monkey thread

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Does anyone else have an irrational hatred of monkeys, and primates in general? I don't know why, but just the sight of one causes me to seethe.

I'm glad he's okay

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I hate small monkeys, they are annoying cunts and ugly, but love Orangutans

Isn't that a female?

le monke

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Yeah you would have an irrational hatred for monkeys you FUCKING MONKEY

Sorry, you can’t understand English, so let me type something that you monkeyfucks will clearly understand
Ooh-ooh aah-aah eee-eee ki-ki AAA-AAAH AAAAAA-AAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Monkeys are like real life goblins

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huhuhhUHHUHAUUHUAUHUHAHU

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>and primates in general
Gues what you are, self-hating piece of shit

I'm the exact opposite. Seeing any sort of monkey or ape makes me happy. Fuck baboons though, they're just assholes

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas
youtu.be/eYmI-I88UMY

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Are you those guys who take part in those weird monkey torture communities on Youtube?

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They are just like us.

What a chad.

that is babboob

le monke

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BBC is a myth

Some primates are absolute cunts and you're right to dislike them.
Others like bro tier bonobos and gorillas are cool and funny.

Why did he let him do that!?

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Shit ton of Dragonball games. One piece games. Shantae.

I bet you guys are from a 3rd world country

Arent you part of that creepypasta or conspirancy theory of monkey hate

same thing

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why tho?

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Apes are so cool. Monkeys can burn

>No facial disc
>Has to use a hand to get some action
Look at this low test Organ-let

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Right, so there I was, just typed in Yea Forums.org/v/ and right there the first thread, you know what I saw?
Little monkey fella

Last animal thread there were a group of people saying martial artists and bodybuilders could take on gorillas, lions, tigers and bears no problem. Are they still here?

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Wtf is wrong with you? oh oh hoo hoo aa aa

This game

It's very underrated gem

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It's just a joke haha

what the fuck is up with orangutan face anyway
is that flesh, bone, skin, cartilage or what

Turok 2 multiplayer

Is there prep time, or are they just thrown in the cage?
Do they get weapons?

Shantae is the cutest monkey.

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>there were a group of people saying martial artists and bodybuilders could take on gorillas, lions, tigers and bears no problem. Are they still here?
There are always lurking tho, like those retards who believe that a gorilla can win against a brown bear

Could 10 Brock Lesnars beat a Silverback Gorilla?

youtube.com/watch?v=qVF6cO6_dF8

No and no. Bare-handed, no prep.

I want to fuck Shantae in all her forms except crab

Right, you're talking shit user. Why would there be a monkey thread on the videogames board?

>a gorilla can win against a brown bear
Thing would be mauled in seconds. Why are primates sho shit at fighting other animals?

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An average man could fight off a black bear.

Black bears are small and I could easily beat one in a fight.

A female gorilla wouldn't really be a fight, it would be like you beating up a defenseless and extremely peaceful animal.

Other than that, good luck. You might survive by gouging their eyes out.

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>could 10 slightly smaller silverback gorillas beat a single silverback gorillas
Yes
If they're really lucky body builders, they might take down 1

This is forbidden bait intended to provoke a forbidden outcome.

lol what a brainlet, ops pic is a chimpanzee and chimpanzees are monkeys

my superior speed is sure to make me win against animals who could effortlessly tear my limbs off

Honestly 1 Brock Lesnar could probably beat a silverback in a fight.

Brock was like 300lbs in his prime, that's comparable to silverbacks, some are 400lbs from bellies full of vegetation

He's also far smarter and better at fighting than a silverback

>and I could easily beat one in a fight.
How much do you weigh, user?

Real life.

a black bear can weight anywhere between 59 and 300 kg

They also have sharp claws.and teeth. Most humans get bodied by pitbulls

The average human is heavier than a chimpanzee yet they are able to literally rip your face off and leave you fingerless.

What the fuck is that from?

>Why are primates sho shit at fighting other animals?
There is one group of primates that sits at the top of the food chain across all biomes on this planet. Doesn't sound very shit to me.

Did that tiny wilderbeest just tried to fuck up a full-grown lion head on?

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I can bench 2pl8 as a 150lbs manlet

Doesn't matter even if I was even weaker and weighed less, black bears are not that big or strong.

Black bears are actually huge pussies. There's many stories of old ass average guys punching them in the face.

I'd be more scared of an aggressive pitbull. You're probably thinking of grizzly bears which are a completely different story.

>Monkeys can burn
What is it about you third worlders hating monkeys? Are you threatened by their superior intellect?

Body builders are aesthetic. If they have strength, and that is a big if, they certainly don't know how to use it.

The average gorilla can casually snap a tree the diameter of w human leg with one hand

One Brock Lesnar would get absolutely bodied, pound by pound gorillas are so much stronger, at the cost of being morr clumsy

why would you want to play as a monkey

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Shut up, faggot. You know what I mean.

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>Donkey Kong
>Monkey
That's not a monkey

That Lemon key Face haunts me forever.
I regret making that picture ironically.

We could do the same to them.

Stop exaggerating primate strength.

An average human male could rip your arm out of it's socket and tear off your face if they wanted to.

It's fleshy material, mostly fat apparentely, and they are their equivalent of having a strong jawline.
Just look at this Chad primate, he knows he is prime pussy weating material.

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You're a chimpanzee

Ok this is quality.
This is how you do it my friends.

AHH

Vegan's mind. Obviously it wouldn't accomplish a shit and ithe animal was running at very low speed. What else to suspect?

Meant to respond to:

Fuck off asian subhuman

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OK so basically I'm monky

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Prototype 2

Theres a channel on youtube with a playlist full of monkey hating videos. All of the comments are just about people having disgust for monkeys and rping about dealing pain towards monkeys.

Sure let's pretend incidents like the one made by Travis aren't a thing
>An average human male could rip your arm out of it's socket and tear off your face if they wanted to.
Stop exaggerating human strength

Is it the claws part or are brown bears just straight up stronger?

What the SHIT!
THEY PUT IT ON A GODDAMN T-SHIRT.
24tee.com/lemon-key-face-jimmie-rustler-tee-shirt-gildan-softstyle.html

I want to get off this planet.

Holy shit that lion just Jiujitsued the fuck outta that bitch.

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Came here for these exact responses, thanks.

I appreciate this post, user

They're chained to the bed they're carrying so they don't have a choice but to carry the damn thing around. They aren't there to help another monkey.

>"I just tried to fight this predator who's clearly way bigger and stronger than me. How could this happen?"

Now you have a glimps of what the original trollface creator must feel seeing his shitty pic not only popularized all around the world but merchandized to hell and back while not seeing a single cent
If it makes you feel any better I think your version is better than the shirt one

Can't believe no one posted this yet.
youtube.com/watch?v=gPvoghEm9Ow

Clearly a gorilla.

youtube.com/watch?v=4E1jVWUMQiA

Diddy is a monkey, faggot

>monkey torture communities on Youtube
Say what now?

Monkeys are pretty delicious, I don't get how anyone could hate them.

diddy kong is a chimp, that thing doesn't look like diddy kong. more likely it's some kind of bear.

Turok 2

You could absolutely rip an arm out of its socket. Even females can do that. Not rip it off, maybe that is where you are getting confused? Ripping it out of its socket is dislocating it.

Brazilian healthcare looking good

Lol

actually accurate

Hot monkey dick

Introducing!

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That makes more sense as people can also dislocate and relocate limbs manually but painfully, still it is really difficult for the average human to do the same damage a chimp would.

I never thought I'd say this, but her back is sexy as fuck

C H I M P E D.com

good thread lads

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>You could absolutely rip an arm out of its socket
Through technique, yes. Not raw strength you retard.

There is a whole dubious community of freaks, who get off on watching primates being tortured and killed. It's sad honestly

So what happens? Does she get APED?

amo bishop roden

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He has the same leer as some 80 year old JAV actor

Does that even matter?
The claim was that people can rip arms out of sockets. You chimped out and said that was impossible. It is possible. You were wrong. Eat a fat dick.

Introduc-

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I'm not even that guy.

Not even. Its not even possible. You'll tear something but your grip will never be strong enough

No problem buddy

Pitbulls are unironically way more aggressive than black bears. Black bears are straight scared of humans and would probably run away if they got punched in the face. I've never ever heard about a violent encounter with a black bear.

Wrong

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Surprised no one said Ape Out yet. You play a monkey killing folks, it's pretty neat.

He lived btw

Why didn't he shoot the fucking arrow?

No youre an ape

I had fun playing as Marcus. I wanna ball on a string to hit people with.

Cause he's a dipshit and he panicked.

Flubbed

Shitty little bow and arrow

Didn't really want to shoot an arrow into a black bear anyway

99% of the time black bears to a bluff attack and don't even actually touch you

youtube.com/watch?v=Bkwy0scRXBU

Look at this woman confronting a black bear.

Jesus, this lady has balls of steel. It may be timid but it could still fuck you up.

>it could still fuck you up.

No it couldn't.

Are you literally a child or a midget or something?

Do you see how small that thing is? That thing couldn't even hurt an average man, unless he was a turbo basedboy.

Unironically an aggressive male pitbull is far more dangerous than an average black bear.

The only people who have ever died to black bear attacks were children and very old. You're supposed to always fight a black bear, never run or play dead.

>I've never ever heard about a violent encounter with a black bear.

There have been plenty of violent encounters with Black Bears. But that's primarily due to the encounters we have with them since they live in most of the US.

That guy lived and wasn't injured from it. This webm doesn't include the ending where he gets right up. The bear charged him, knocked him down, and then fled. That said, he did everything right when encountering a black bear which was to yell and look large by flailing his arms.

>Cause he's a dipshit

No he fucking isn't. Black Bears are durable creatures and had he shot it, he would have pissed it off greatly. He didn't panic, you're suppose to yell and look big since that is the greatest way to scare off a black bear. I'm sure you would've fled leading to the bear instinctively chasing you.

TF2

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>your towel
thanks mate
>don't mention it

Are you one of those weirdos from youtube that leave creepy comments on monkey related videos?

I've seen chicks swim along huge great whites. Just because people confront it doesn't mean it can't fuck you up at any time it wants. This shit is dangerous

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>That thing couldn't even hurt an average man,

t. never actually saw a black bear. A black bear could kick the ass of a muscular guy. Never underestimate a black bear. On their feet, they can stand 6 foot tall and have more muscle strength than a bodybuilder.

I mean, yeah if it comes to it you should fight it, but it still has large claws and sharp teeth. You're not getting away unscathed.

is it any good or just Hotline Detroit?

>Because it's small it can't hurt you
How fucking autistic are you? There are dogs smaller than this that can fuck you up. Wolves can fuck you up. Even fucking skunks and badgers have been known to be viscious little shits.

Nah, I would've shot it with the arrow and then started wacking it with the bow.

Even raccoons can hurt you, idiot.

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Uma Delicia

You would've likely died. Bears in general are hard to kill, even if you had a gun. Had the bear been shot then it would immediately known that you're 100% an immediate threat. By the time you draw your 2nd arrow it would have charged and mauled you. There's a good reason why Native Americans went in packs to kill a bear with bows and arrows 100s of years ago.

>Redit spacing
>basedboy
of course. That explains your IQ

>They can reach 6ft
Disregarding this dubious claim, the fact remains a black bear will not actually go for a full on fight 99% of the time. I have no doubt that they are very strong and they could rip my arm off if they really needed to. But they're massive cowards and run away after the smallest provocation

Kinda like how the guy that bear attacked died? He didn't

>A black bear could kick the ass of a muscular guy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America#Black_bear_12

There's literally been 14 fatal black bear attacks in the history of America, and they were all small children or elderly.

That's out of countless thousands if not millions of black bear encounters.

99% of the time if a black bear even does confront you, it will bluff charge you, or barely touch you and run away.

Even if you did get into a full on fight with one, an average man could easily win. They're not very big, they're not very smart, they have one attack move. If you punched it in the face it would probably run, and there's many such stories of this actually.

You're a fucking primate you retard.

>that thing couldn't even hurt an average man, unless he was a turbo basedboy

Black Bears often weigh up to 600lbs, can run 30mph, and stand up to over 6 feet tall. Please tell me you're joking and not just some retard.

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Thanks for the chuckle user

Out of all animals to irrationally hate, I think there’s something especially twisted (perhaps coming out of self-hate red) about hating our closest animal relatives

Ever see a video of a monkey seeing itself in the mirror?

Poor black bears. They just want to forge but always get bullied.

Great whites are only dangerous because of size and because they mistake swimmers for sea lions.
Bull sharks and tiger sharks on the other hand though...

>Black Bears often weigh up to 600lbs

No they don't, that would be an extremely large freak of nature black bear, fully stuffed and ready for hibernation.

An average male black bear usually weighs 200lbs give or take, and a lot of it is food in his stomach.

>That's out of countless thousands if not millions of black bear encounters.

There's only estimated to be around 600,000 black bears in North America alone. They tend to avoid human contact and the vast majority of them are out in the mountains and in the country. I highly doubt there are "millions of black bear encounters" especially since the vast majority of them are wary of being around humans redditposter. And no, the average man wouldn't win. Again, you're talking about a 600lb animal that can sprint up to 30mph with incredible muscular strength. You think the average man could take on that? Really? I live in West Virginia, we know to stay clear of them when they're around since something could easily set it off.

Jerseyfag here, black bears are nothing. If you get aggressive and charge one it will always turn and run. They aren't like any other bear.

both
A Kodiak bear from the family of brown bears weighs up to 780 pounds average is much lower, ~400kg if i'm correct
the claws at that point are just to make sure the hit enemie is dead

>They're not very big, they're not very smart, they have one attack move
They can maul you their teeth and their claws. Stop treating this like it's fucking Pokemon. Yes, their claws are incredibly dangerous and sharp.

>Again, you're talking about a 600lb animal

Nigger a 600lb black bear is a freak of nature, extremely rare.

Except the one time it doesn't and the person ends up dead.

Is 2pl8 supposed to be impressive? I can do the same and I'm probably lighter than you. Black bears can weigh 600 pounds on the high end and have skulls 10x thicker than humans. You may be able to drive one off, but beating it in a fight is close to impossible barehanded.

Black bears are extremely timid. Unless you corner it and force it to fight (or it's somehow rabid) a black bear will never stick around or get combative.

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You got quints, so you must be right

>Great whites are only dangerous because of size
But that's exactly what i'm saying, user.

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there's propably the rest of the pack/family of that lion around and the wildebeest's only chance was fight

That hasn't happened in about 200 years so let me know when it does, retard.

>Black bears can weigh 600 pounds
Humans can weigh over 1000lbs on the high end

You're talking about the Eddie Shaw of black bears, retard. A 600lb black bear is an extremely rare freak of nature.

>but beating it in a fight is close to impossible barehanded.
No it's not. You can gouge their eyes out, make them blind, and choke them out.

I guarantee you I could do this to a black bear if I wanted to.

Monkeys are really intelligent creatures. Them and crows are the only animals to use tools to help in their goals. I wonder how they will be like in millions of years.

>600lb animal
Absolute fucking retard, these are outliers and the average in most states is around 200lb, don't post this hogwash ever again. A 10 second wikipedia search tells you otherwise.

explain this than
You niggers are like those tourists who go to yellowstone and get killed by bison because they think they can get close.

I could, but I'm not a girl.

>blackbear wouldn't rip your guts out when you force it to fight

During the later part of the year prior to winter they'll easily gain up to 600lbs at peak. And that's the most likely time you'll encounter one if you live out in the country. Even if they aren't weighing that large, you're looking at animal that can tip over heavy metal containers with ease, that is constantly out on the prowl. Even a male chimpanzee can overpower an average man despite being vastly smaller.

>A human could never defeat a bear with his b-

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and dolphins
or does sticking your dick into selfmade fishlights not count

Great fucking thread

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When it gets close to hibernating season, no it fucking isn't.

Sorry basedboy, by weights vary because the bear loses and gains weight prior and after hibernation.

>I dont know what a bluff charge is

This is a grizzly bear too, which is infinitely more scary than a black bear.

Maximum kek. Saved.

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>than
You fucking retard, that guy in the webm did everything correctly. He gets back up and walks away uninjured because black bears are pussies that love to bluff attack and run away.

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Wish i lived somewhere I could lure in monkeys, then psychologically torture them until they go insane.

Yeah, every average man can do this. I lived in San Franscisco my entire life, I'm expert on nature, so I should know.

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I mean, being with a great white while on surface is dangerous. Being with a great white while diving is slightly less dangerous, you still need caution.
Being with a tiger or bull shark is dangerous 100% of the time regardless of where you are in the water column.

obsessed

I saw an ad for a game where you were a chimp running around in a jungle, and the guy was bragging about how they didn't give you a map or something. That looked pretty fun, anyone know what I'm talking about?

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i too hate niggers

What's different about them? Are they just more aggressive towards humans?

>Yeah, every average man can do this
No, they cannot. How autistic can you be. That was most definitely luck

Is this monki okay?

I can't believe le monke is fucking DEAD

Natty powerlifters and roided up bodybuilders are stronger than you think. We don't have claws and teeth but a punch from someone who can bench 250 kilograms has to hurt

looks like Thanos

Nerve gas?

what happen to monke

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cinematic action-adventure realistic animal simulators when

What was that? Toxic gas?

why would you throw dynamite at the poor monkey?

>that couple who raised a monkey as a son and ended up getting disfigured by other chimpanzees when they went to visit him

Really sad story.

Tokyo Jungle was pretty good.

Have you ever encountered a fucking black bear user? One could easily wreck you, especially if it's a pissed off mother

you are paranoid

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>that woman who held a pet chimp and it eats her friends face
youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc

Spider Monkeys are cool though. Little bastards like Capuchins can go though.

This fucking thing is straight up from a horror series. I like it, very unique.

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that's pretty cool

Agile lil fella

>that cleavage
Lewd!

DELETE

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HAHA FUNNY CUZ NIGGER HO HO YOU GENUS

Don't look in a mirror then

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Look at that chimp! It must weigh what, 120 pounds? That thing would tear you to shreds!

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games with artificial difficulty?

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If it counts, Ape Out is really fun. Quick pacing and good music too

Was trying to post it. Great game.

Is that a banana pun?

The cage is not electrified. There is no nerve gas.

The room around the cage was filled with carbon dioxide. The cage opens and fills with carbon dioxide. Biologically, mammals have a feedback loop tied to carbon dioxide levels, not oxygen levels. As carbon dioxide increases in the environment, the monkey begins asphyxiating. It tries to breathe, but it doesn't get any air. It almost feels like drowning. Carbon Dioxide is lethal when it makes up about 10% of the air you breathe.

To understand how this feels, try and hold your breath as long as possible and imagine this is what's happening WHILE you are breathing.

Eventually the monkey collapses and loses consciousness. The people filming cut the scene and then some animal caretakers and vets rush in and give the monkey an oxygen mask to save it. The monkey does not die.

still a dick move
also i don't trust you

Jamie pull up that video. Look at that thing....Jesus....

The monkey volunteered for the stunt and was paid handsomely. He gets all the monkey girls back in his monkey neighborhood.

i don't hate monkeys but joe rogan has made me scared from them, those things will rip you apart

Is that study still available? Asking for a friend.

Shut the fuck up dumbass, monkeys are top tier animal bros

Sekiro with mods

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It's from a fucking film, you fucking retard. Google "Andromeda Strain monkey".

>try and hold your breath as long as possible and imagine this is what's happening WHILE you are breathing
I don't like this one bit

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Wow that monkey is a good fucking actor.

Further proof of what I posted:

>To simulate the death of the monkey in this scene, an airtight set was used; the bottom of it was filled with carbon dioxide, so that when the monkey's cage was opened, he had to breathe the carbon dioxide. When he was just about to pass out, a waiting veteranarian immediately treated him with oxygen. Of course, no animals were harmed in the making of this film.

afi.com/wise/films/andromeda_strain/info/info.html

Donkey kong and overwatch have apes though

Dunno about lol or dota

>nj black bear
ive more run ins with these pieces of shit than i count. even had one like a foot away from my head. they are like giant rodents.

when is this coming out

See

>no animals were harmed
>asphyxiating it until it passed out
hmmmmmm

I hope they at least gave him some tasty-ass bananas after the scene

ah yes, they'd totally write on their website that they killed lil monk for a stupid movie

>nothing is true
Fuck it, might as well kill yourself, faggot, your life sure as fuck ain't getting better.

I would never fucking abuse any animal. Except monkeys. Something weird about the similarities with humans and their behaviour that triggers this wanting-to-make-cry a small, young monkey. This feelings have had their manifestation through dreams and such. You know when you dream about eating a certain food and then you wake up wanting to eat that? Well, I've never found myself a monkey (I've only had a hamster that I never abused, because it's just not a monkey) I even searched for sugar gliders but even those things can't compare with the weird satisfaction derived by abusing small monkeys. I've also found this monkey-hate thingy which only makes me think this has to do with some psychological pathology, focused especially on animals similar to us.
No, I've never and never will abuse animals, but feel tempted to annoy monkeys.

I'm laughing so hard

>they are like giant rodents.
Capybaras are NOT to fuck with. They WILL fuck you up if you get near their babies. I know that because my friend tried to get near a baby
t. brazilian macaco

I understand completely, I feel it to.

Always makes me smile

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lmao, link?

>Something weird about the similarities with humans and their behaviour that triggers this wanting-to-make-cry a small, young monkey
The kind of people you find here, I say.

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Humans became dominant by genociding the other monkey species that were our rivals, no reason to stop now

Hate is a bit strong. I like small monkeys but apes make me somewhat uncomfortable.
Bonobos are really cool though.

There's no apes living today that rival humans, are you retarded?

>What are otters

Sauce

>(I've only had a hamster that I never abused, because it's just not a monkey)
Alright sicko

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>Them and crows are the only animals to use tools to help in their goals
Octop(i?)(uses?)(odes?)

For starters, both of those species are the ones that attack more humans, even more than great whites I think.
Tiger sharks eat absolutely everything that gets in their way, they are called trashcans of the sea for a reason, and are able to bite through sea turtle's shells
Bull sharks on the other hand are one of the most aggresive animals on the planet, as they have very high levels of test. Not only that but those fuckers can actually go to inshore and it is not the first time attacks happen on rivers.

Your list of tool using animals is abysmally lacking, but at least you have a good attitude.

Ultimate Chicken Horse, though there's a few qualifiers
>you have to unlock the monkey
>UCH is a multiplayer game and we all know Yea Forums doesn't have friends
>the chameleon is the best character anyway

Lots of animals use tools, most we don't even know about. There was just that BBC ocean documentary that had one of the first fish we've ever known to use tools. It was using a rock to break open clams or something.

Did he died

Thats where you are wrong since niggers threaten the human race bucko

Came here to say this. Not disappointed.

>trying to argue against quints
lmao gay

You’re on Yea Forums, son. That word has no power here.

Did you make sopa do amigo afterwards?

No, but his dog ended up with some ugly scratches and bite marks. That thing attackes us for real

Underrated

meant for

>Of course, no animals were harmed in the making of this film.
Dude we just asphyxiated it a little so the scene looked REAL good

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It's literally what happens to people when they pass out during a fire

Epic prank

>An average man could fight off a black bear.
>Black bears are small and I could easily beat one in a fight.
You're an idiot.
Go get yourself killed.

>tfw you wish you can cuddle and pet all animals, even tho most would kill you or runaway

Its not fair bros. Why did god do this? You cant make cute animals like bears and lions and make it impossible to pet.

Fuck I wish I could be Dr.Doolittle and charm all animals

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tool use definition varies. iirc, chimps can actually combine different things and have makeshift tools instead of just picking up a stick or rock.