Meanwhile on alternate universe where these fuckers review video games instead of cars

>AMERICAN GAMES BAD
>BRITISH DEVELOPED GAMES GOOD

TONIGHT:

May installs an Nvidia card

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Jeremy plays Team Fortress 2

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What would The Stig be then, the actual one playing the game?

And Hammond talks about Google Stadia

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That's right though
20 years ago anyway

and tonight's guest to take on Sekiro is...former football player and avid Tomb Raider fan, David James.

>stig speedruns games instead of driving cars on the test track

Whatever happened to these lovable idiots? They vanished from tv.

1cc every game

beats every souls game with no hits

speed runs sekiro on 1st try

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>tv
hello grandpa. it's all about streaming nowadays, literally only old people still watch tv.
as for your question, they started another show called grand tour. it's basically top gear, but with amazon instead of bbc

Jeremy was a based Chad and punched his bugman producer so bbc got rid of him and then they got a show on amazon instead.

Clarkson punched someone in frustration because they couldn't even give him a hot meal after a day's filming. BBC fired him so all 3 quit along with the producers and bunch of other people. BBC tried to replace him with some twat who can't even look at the camera whilst driving and got fired halfway through the new season, but the new Top Gear is awful and it does even worse than the original at its worst.

Meanwhile the original lot went to Amazon and tried to remake Top Gear as Grand Tour. First two seasons sucked but the third season is really good since they brought back road trips with shitty cars

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We get shit for internet up here, either that or you fork out hundereds for cocks. Im lucky to watch a youtube vid much less stream anything. Thanks for the info though.

then just pirate it. streaming is shit even with good internet

>Some say he can beat super mario bros. in 4.50

What's happening in this image I don't get it

>pirate something with less then 2mbs
Ill get right on that, might have the first episode done in a week or two. Thanks.

TONIGHT,
MAY TRIES TO PLAY ZELDA ON A POORLY CODED NINTENDO 64 EMULATOR-
HAMMOND CRASHES HIS NEW HOT FERMI CARD.
AND I WATCH LET'S PLAYS ON YOUTUBE

>Hammond fired for some racist remark 20 years ago
>Clarkson fired for harassment
>James fired because he's "creepy"

kek

He got motion sick whilst sitting in the passenger seat of a car, the host of a car show

>cool wall with video games

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we have to wait a week per episode anyways so you'll just be one episode behind everyone else

>tfw no Top Games episode where James and Jennifer argue about half A-presses

>May talks about his favourite Smash character

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TONIGHT:
James finds an N-Gage
Richard goes to CEX
And I play EYE

>when conversation street is your favorite part of the show
honestly they should talk for like 15 minutes or so and the rest is them driving through countries with shitty cars, those are the best

starless is the best visual novel
IN THE WORLD

I didn't know the Mythbusters guy is in Top Gear now

You do know there is a Mythbusters, Jr. show now, right?

Yea, Top Gear went to shit when the trio left.

>Hammond jailbreaks and accidentally bricks his 3DS,
big kek

Sounds as appealing to watch as Kids Bop to listen to

the mongolia special is the best thing they have ever done.

2nd season was ok
agree that 1st was absolute garbage

Shitty game

Actually i've always noticed that the specials in GCCX felt kinda like the specials in TG

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best special

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kek

Yea, mine's too.

I agree Vietnam has a lot of mines

>What is the game equivalent of a sports car snob?
It's a sports car snob
Racing game fans are some of the most autistic individuals

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IT AIN'T ME

Welcome everyone! Thank you! Tonight we're going to look at this PS4 ga-
*Hammond flips over the PS4 and breaks it*
Clarkson: Hammond, how have you managed to do that?
Hammond: What? it's not my fault!
Clarkson: Hammond you idiot! Well, let's go now to James May who is going to play a game from 1978 on an Atari 2600
May: Hello viewers! This is the Atari 2600, and just look at it! It's brown and so classic looking, you just don't see this kind of craftsmanship in the new video game machines. And here you have nice simple graphics that show you what's going on, none of that fancy bollocks.
*celebrity segment for 15 minutes where some shitty celeb who doesn't play games drops the controller*
Clarkson: Now, Porsche has made a new racing for us, and guess what? ITS THE SAME AS THE OTHER 15 GAMES THEY MADE
Hammond: No it isn't you baboon! It's so different and so much better! Plus you get 3 extra FPS!
Clarkson: How much is it??????
Hammond: 280 thousand pounds..
*audience gasps*

chuckled

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cuckled

bump

Who would be the tamed speedracer? Or would it still just be the stig?

this week they built a car themselves in the middle of nowhere out of spare parts dropped to them from a helicopter. it's breddy gud

*Speedrunner

Jesus fucking Christ how i hate them.
We have the tough boy wanna be spoiled old millionaire, the fucking ass licking side kick who is only there to verbally jerk off the big faggot and the third wheel guy.
I cant listen to Clakson for more tha 30 seconds without realizing hes a fucking retarded cunt surrounded by yes men that will literally allow him to beat the shit out of them for money, he always rambles on about barely coherent shit while everybody nod along.

Muv Luv is the best visual novel
IN THE WORLD

i bought the collection on the vita and havent finished 1 yet, i keep forgetting so i wont argue but
steins gate is the best visual novel
IN THE WORLD

thats funny because I only got one route through steins gate before being distracted. Say youll play muv luv and I will finish steins gate

tonight, i shall play muv luv
youtube.com/watch?v=gycSZoYzEks

Go back to watching Jazz faggot

Clarkson: And now the news. So Sony and Microsoft got together and made a concept console.
Hammond: Wow, really!
Clarkson: Yes, and get this: It does 240fps, has 164GB of memory, has some chip or something or other other that downloads games at 22 gigs per second - even on an old telephone line. And it plays every Xbox and PlayStation game ever made.
*audience gasps*
Clarkson: Amazing right? And just look at it!
*picture appears on the screens showing amazing looking device*
May: Wow, so when can we buy it???
Clarkson: Never.
Hammond: WHAT???
Clarkson: It's just a concept console. Now, Ferrari have also done a console and get this: It costs 7 million pounds and you don't even get to take it home.
Hammond: YOU WHAT?
Clarkson: It's true. Now, for 7 million pounds they'll build a console for you but you have to go to THEIR facility to play it but only for 3 hours at a time and you can only play games THEY approve.
Hammond: Unbelievable!

>The producers seem to think that buying a brand new console is the best bang for the buck you can get in terms of gaming performance, but we know that that's rubbish!
>To try and prove themselves right, the producers gave us £400 each to try and make the best secondhand gaming PC we can, and were told to meet up outside PC World, in Stroud.

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TONIGHT
Jeremy takes the world's most powerful gaming PC and uses it to play Minesweeper
James talks about the Magnavox Odyssey for 19 years
And Richard tests a new open world game because we couldn't trust him to play a game in a straight line

This one is probably the most accurate so far.

>we couldn't trust him to play a game in a straight line

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I heard the pause and dramatic Clarkson finish in my head

It's iconic.

best one in the thread

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I'm gonna restart because I dont remember a thing

perfect

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It'd be Gamezville all over again.

>Clarkson team kills the other two in Rising Storm
Hammond: ...what? We were winning Jeremy!
James: mate are you serious?!
Clarkson: ohhh let's not get bogged down by whoo did what to who. Look, it's going fine, I'm capturing the ob- oh I'm dead
Hammond: ...yeah, brilliant mate
May: Clarkson you absolute pillock

youtube.com/watch?v=5FOGYPenmbA

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TONIGHT

James kills a prostitute
(footage of James smacking a prostitute with a bat)

Richard kills a prostitute
(footage of Richard throwing a grenade at a prostitute)

And I take lovely lady on a scenic drive
(footage of Jeremy driving a car off a cliff with a prostitute in the passenger seat)

angry face miata was a mistake

>some say he completed mystery of the druids without a single crash
>and that he is, in fact, The Guy
>all we know is, shut up, Tsig

best thread in a while T . B . H (to be honest)

This.

We need more TONIGHTposting on Yea Forums

they hate British cars

Did they get Matt Leblanc to replace Clarkson because it's well know Leblanc has already bought a hot meal and thus won't beat any producers when they cannot provide one?

Honestly, I just fucking love these three.
I don't think there's a more lovable and iconic trio than these guys. I wish I had friends like this.

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He's left the show now anyway to be replaced by these two: stand-up comic Paddy McGuinness and former cricketer Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff.

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just make sure not to overdo it, then it'll end up being cringe and grand tour will be forever ruined for me

Fuck Jeremy Clarkson and fuck the Ballas.

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"some say he's a tranny, others say he's just autistic - all we know is he's called Cosmo......errr"

*audience go's oooooooh*

jejimus maximus

"garbage" as in they tried a new formula and failed. But hey, at least they tried.
It wasn't that bad if you forget that top gear ever existed.

When the trio left, it just became Top Cringe. Fucking hell, what a dumpster fire it became.

true

>the last game you played now has Jeremy, James and Richard as the main characters
What happens?

The Grand Tour game sucks ASS

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As clarkson and vidya goes, he did reviewed some cars using gran turismo 2, tried beat his time made in gran turismo 4 and on microsoft funded interview when they played forza, he admited he never played forza at home but only gran turismo.

i thought joey from friends was part of that show now

he was (or still is, dunno)
Never watched after the 3 stoogies left

clarkson: weeeeell its a gpu with 32gb of memory and a clock speed of 6ghz, what do you think its gonna be like?
[brian eno intensifies]
clarkson: its wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

>The Grand Tour game
Didn't even know TGT had a game, whats wrong with it?

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Basil brush, man - nostalgia hit.

Any wankers here remember “round the bend” with Doc Croc?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Round_the_Bend

>satire?
>in MY kid’s show?
Would be banned in 2 episodes now

I vaguely know a guy who makes money doing do croc porn.

Ok you REALLY need to elaborate on this

He's Gregor.

Why is this theme so good?
youtube.com/watch?v=bwX-KS1816c

Because it is an altered version of an actual song.
youtube.com/watch?v=yRDivUb5EeA

call of duty
cool, uncool, or sub zero???

oh wow nice

it’s not angry it’s kawaii

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The game was actually real? I thought it was just some meme. What do you even do in it?

>We were given a budget of £1000 and the producers told us to put together a computer than can run Crysis at max settings. We would be rewarded a point for every frame above 30fps we were able to achieve.

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Imagine believing this.

Bless this thread. And bless the trio of lads that brought us here.

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You mean Hat Films?

Dabbing Clarkson is what I needed in my life

im glad they're dropping the tent and audience stuff for tgt and just going on to make some good road trip films of them doing stupid shit around the world.

Clackson:Now we have to find out how fast you can beat doom eternal and that means handing it over to our trained gamer.
Some say that miyamoto has a restraining order against him because he keeps demanding they port mario kart to the playstation and that he's beaten every far cry game.... in 3rd person
All we know is he's called the stig

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I only watched as far as that fucking terrible scripted "hurf durf we're doing a special forces mission" thing. Top Gear had always had a few tongue in cheek moments that were obviously scripted, and they clearly played up their personalities for the camera a lot, but I didn't want 20 minutes of straight up comedy acting. It was like my suspension of disbelief was just pushed a little too far.

Did it get any better? Should I just skip seasons 1 and 2?

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it gets better, but watch all of it anyways

>proceeds to be dead on console and all big YTer and streamer play on PC
oof

>some say he can beat sm64 only using half a presses

Clarkson did.
youtube.com/watch?v=biGN6EP5Klg

There are good ones and average ones. The only one i couldnt finish (because I fell asleep) was the brasil special (2 episodes long) last one of the season was really fine.
Btw Top Gear and the grand tour is as "real" as the WWF.

It's never had an angry face. It's face went from wide-eyed wonderment to autistic kid asking if you have any games on your phone to a mischievous imp to OwO *notices bulgy wulgy*.

The Mongolia special is the first TGT episode I've genuinely enjoyed.

Its like that old one in the north pole.

> Btw Top Gear and the grand tour is as "real" as the WWF.

Yeah, I know, but my point is the Special Forces one was just completely unbelievable. It was like a cartoon.

>Miatso
>angry

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It's mostly a product of their inflated budget and lack of management. The filming being slapdash and relatively cheaply done made it seem a bit more real. Where TG would've had shaky hand-cam, TGT has perfectly framed and focused shots at a million different angles. Also a lot of ideas that made it into TGT would've been rejected by their higher ups for being absolute shit if they were still at the BBC.

I agree some of them are stupid. But well, noone is perfect, maybe people enjoy those kind more (I honestly think it wasnt that bad) Best ones are the "beach buggy boys" 1st season i think ,and "survival of the fattest" last of the 3rd season, for me at least.