>The first trailer starts with a police car sitting on the side of a road in a town called Green Hills, just keeping an eye on traffic. Just then, a blue streak goes by and the gun reads 760 mph. The officer, played byJames Marsden, can’t believe it. Cut to the Paramount logo which, instead of stars around the mountain, had gold rings.
>The camera is zooming down a street, then through a forest, as a tagline similar to “Every hero has a Genesis” graces the screen. The camera enters some kind of lair filled with a bunch of crappy worn out shoes. Back on the street, a blue being is stretching. It’s revealed to be Sonic, who is probably about four feet tall, wears no clothing (save for his shoes) and has a well-defined—I almost want to say cute—face. He shoots off running, creating a huge explosion of energy.
>Marsden’s officer finds Sonic in a house and is startled by him. Later they’re in a car together and Sonic explains he’s here to save the world. Meanwhile, a large tank comes up behind them, so Sonic jumps out of the car, races at the vehicle, and smashes through it. He thinks he’s won, but then another vehicle drops from the remains of the previous one. Many more shots follow including one of Marsden’s character falling and Sonic creating a ring for him to fall through, which saves him.
>In another scene, Marsden’s character, along with one played by Tika Sumpter, sneak into a building. Sonic is stuffed in a gym bag and Marsden tells him to be quiet. Sonic says he can’t breathe in there. He keeps fidgeting and someone says, “Do you have your child in there?” No, Marsden says. It’s a child, but nothischild.
>Cut to Sonic on the side of a building, a huge spaceship-looking thing shoots what seems like hundreds of guns at him with tons of bullets flying. But Sonic doesn’t sweat it. He just stands there, says “Oh look, I took nine million steps today,” and then starts disabling all the weapons in slow motion. The footage ends with a brief look atJim Carrey as Dr. Robotnikwho finds a blue strand of hair filled with electricity.
End of first trailer
>When the lights came up at CinemaCon, Carrey took the stage. He demanded Paramount show more of his character so, the lights went back down, and we were graced with a secondSonictrailer, this one focused on Dr. Robotnik.
>In his main form, Dr. Robotnik looks like a mad scientist. Dark hair, thin handlebar mustache, and dark black clothes. The military is tracking some kind of electric anomaly (Sonic, we presume) and, very cautiously, call in the only man with the expertise for this kind of thing. Robotnik arrives and immediately takes control of the operation. But not in a respectful way. Think Ace Ventura. Loud, boisterous, a little annoying, that’s Carrey’s take on the character.
>He’s got an assistant and he explains they need to catch this creature, dissect it, and find out what makes it tick. There’s a scene of him dancing to “Everybody Dance Now” by C+C Music Factory in his lab, only to be interrupted by his assistant who has a latte for him. He meets Marsden’s character and gives him shit. Finally, in the final shot of the trailer, we see the character as you remember him from the video game, with a bald head, larger mustache, and a red shirt
>Think Ace Ventura. Loud, boisterous, a little annoying, that’s Carrey’s take on the character. >>He’s got an assistant and he explains they need to catch this creature, dissect it, and find out what makes it tick. There’s a scene of him dancing to “Everybody Dance Now” by C+C Music Factory in his lab
>There’s a scene of him dancing to “Everybody Dance Now” by C+C Music Factory in his lab, only to be interrupted by his assistant who has a latte for him. stop
They kinda deserve it for how little they actually contribute to sonic conversation.
Landon Campbell
Can't wait
Jordan Green
>Back on the street, a blue being is stretching. It’s revealed to be Sonic, who is probably about four feet tall, wears no clothing (save for his shoes) and has a well-defined—I almost want to say snake-like—cock. He shoots off running, creating a huge explosion of energy.
My god
Xavier Price
Guys at least it can't be as bad as the detective pikachu trailer right? r-right?
>There’s a scene of him dancing to “Everybody Dance Now” by C+C Music Factory in his lab Did Illumination do this movie?
William Torres
No, they're doing the Mario movie.
Evan Butler
AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE AND REALIZE THERE'S NOT MUCH LEFT
Hunter Gomez
>in a world... >where speed is king >cuts to Eggman, played by Jim Carrey holding an oversized ring "Cha-ching" >8-bit Green Hills Zone theme starts to fade in >one hedgehog >a yawn is heard, a pair of fuzzy legs can be seen getting out of bed >Sonic, voiced by Ben Schwartz smacks the alarm clock "I think we've all had enough of that" >it accidentally switches to Shake it Off, Sonic starts to hit it repeatedly cycling through several pop songs before it lands on Ke$ha WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE P DIDDY >music pauses Sonic turns to the camera "Well, if you can't beat em, join em" >cut to Sonic putting on tennis shoes and a pair of sunglasses >I'M OUT THE DOOR I'M GONNA HIT THIS CITY >is earth's last hope >music cuts with a record scratch, the city is in ruins and robots run rampant >"Aw, c-" >camera turns to face a hotdog stand >"Chili dogs!" >but first >cut to Sonic in the back seat of a cop car >he's going to need a little help from a friend >tik tok starts to play again "Thanks for the ride, Tails!" >Jonah Hill turns from to look back at him from the front seat >music pauses every time something funny happens >"I told you, it's Officer Miles Prower! The ponytail was a one time thing in highschool!" >from the people who made fast and furious >montage of slap stick >Eggman gets hit in the balls "AAAA my precious emeralds" >this fall >montage of Sonic fighting robots >one voiced by guest Kevin Hart ""i JUST got my bolts tightened" >don't forget your seatbelt >cut to slow motion crash where Sonic gets flipped upside down, Jonah Hill and him screaming before it zooms out to show the car isn't moving at all >Sonic the Hedgehog
Jaxon Bailey
This just makes me depressed with the turn the movie industry has taken. What happened to film? How did we go from masterpieces like Metropolis and Star Wars to...shit like this? Yeah I know this isn't a real trailer, but it might as well be.
Owen Hall
The industry thinks kids are stupid enough that they'll eat up anything.
Carson Gonzalez
what exactly is the purpose of making trailers if you don't show them to the public?
Jack Flores
>The industry thinks adults are stupid enough that they'll eat up anything.
ftfy.
Gavin Perry
I guess both.
Point is that if the movie industry shouldn't treat children like sheep. Yes, kids are very easy to entertain but they are not stupid. And shit like this is just insulting.
Brayden Hernandez
What else do they have? The modern games still fucking suck like they have for two decades, Mania's been milked to death, there's no other shows anymore and now even the Archie comics are dead and replaced with Sega/IDW's watered-down dreg. Movie-doompauling and TSR are all there really is for now, it's why every thread has fucking fancomics being posted now.
Gavin Flores
Those kinds of thing are the reason of sometimes I thank Nintendo for having a really short leash on their IPs.
>and has a well-defined—I almost want to say cute—face. Hm.
Jose Jones
Well, first of all, Second, why the fuck do people have expectations for this movie? Even the most retarded sonic fan can tell it's gonna be shit.
Owen Moore
It's not exactly helping their case when they endlessly repeat shitposts like a broken record about Mania just because it was a successful classic sonic game instead of a modern sonic game. But I guess you're right.
Julian Wilson
It's like waiting for an explosion in the distance to go off. You just gotta stick around to see it.
Yeah there have been no shitty movies about Nintendo characters
Sebastian Young
Thankfully with Miyamoto overlooking the mario movie it'll be tolerable at best.
Joshua White
>instead of stars around the mountain, had gold rings. Sounds too cute and soulful to be true It’s revealed to be Sonic, who is probably about four feet tall This saddens me because I was one of the few that had the headcanon Sonic being 4 ft tall made more sense then his supposed 3ft when Classic Sonic is also somehow 3ft based on model sheets saying so.
> But Sonic doesn’t sweat it. He just stands there, says “Oh look, I took nine million steps today,” and then starts disabling all the weapons in slow motion. Sounds too soulful to be true
The rest of this sounds like some wierd mix between Sonic the Bible, Sonic X and that old Sonic fan Movie on Youtube
If this isn't pure bullshit this is more autistic then I originally thought, but in a Sonic autism way... I don't believe it. It has to be far worse then this leads on to be...
