Shepard, please come back. The Normandy needs you. I need you

Fine by me, i'm more of a quarian man myself anyway

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On the other hand you get a perfect waifu and a girl who when ages only grows bigger tits. Once you're dead you won't care anyhow.

based

Good luck never being able to touch your girl

>tfw no turian bf

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Fucking BASED squidbro

You're not even on the Normandy!

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Ah, a man of similar taste I see

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Shepard.

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>have mega hot thot wife with specific genetical makeup to ultimately please one's partner
>your daughters will be just as beautiful as her, not polluted by everything you hate about yourself
>will loyal to the day you die

honestly who gives a flying fuck what happens after I die. other humanoids fuck others too after their parners die too.

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Michael.

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Fuck off you blue cunt. Asari are shit on the bottom of my shoe tier. Your shit planet getting wrecked was one of the few highlights of 3.

what's this from? something i can watch on netflix?

Fraternization among the crew incurs summary execution. Carry on.

>bet the asari wished they had fewer dancers and more commandos eh, Shepard?

Based

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>not Turian

You are swine.

Shepard, need me for something?

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I'm not a homosexual fantasizer, but how could Garrus go for a renegade shepard?

no way josé

Tali

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>Shepard help me kill this guy
>Done

Not hard m80. Feed his bloodlust/

Monthly reminder that Turs are actually spouting some creepy gibberish sounds without the autotranslator. They have no lips and front teeth and they have those creepy subvocals, their language must be something fundamentally different from ours, unlike Krogans or Quarians, who might actually sound like some unknown, foreign, but at least humanlike, speakers.

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It's the James Vega animated movie, Paragon Lost.

I don't think it's on Netflix, but you could probably find it through Google.

Saw it a few years ago, pretty good; made me like Vega more.

Still pissed Shepard HAS to get assmad about it.

It's a good joke given the Asari superiority complex

That's hot

>her tits got noticeably bigger every game
Based Bioware

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>be a random pleb working at a computer station on the main deck of Normandy
>working double shift on navigation bacause Shepard wants to "explore" so we just jump around the Galaxy all the time like retards
>tired beyond belief
>have to listen to two women sitting next to me constantly babbling about how Shepard is hot and heroic and great
>working at Mc. Volus as a cashier seems like a dream right now
>Shepard walks in fresh and ready from fucking the Asari scientist that is all over him like a little girl
>yet when I say hello to her in a hallway i dont even get a "hi" back from that blue bitch
>we arrive somwhere, whatever
>fuck this fucking job
>suddenly get attacked by aliens
>we get hit
>I get ejected into my computer screen, crack my skull in two and die instantly
>nobody even notices until its time to leave the sector
>mfw

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based chad colonizer

based and spacegypsypilled

hahahaha nice

you should make more stories like that user; quite entertaining

>Tfw shepard didn't invite you to his party

Would probably even reach Benezia tier

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I agree. While Shepard was always his own character, it felt like 3 took much of the choice regarding developing his character away.
Not being able to laugh at what was clearly an attempt at levity made it seem more like Shepard's ego was bruised by Kai Leng, and also an asshole.

It is shocking how much they made Liara the fucking canon romance, regardless of Gender.
>ME1
I barely talked to Liara and went full on Ashley romance (even saved her) and it still came to a triangle love scene, I picked Ashley of course.
>ME2
Dumped the tranny for a sexy noman, but even when you do Shadow Broker DLC at the end of it Liara is still trying to get that dick.
>ME3
Liara immediately wants Shepard and tries again as soon as she gets on the Normandy.
I'd be fine with them saying that she's canon at this point, it's so fucking obvious it's not funny.

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I want to hear garrus awkwardly dirtyy talk in his native language

youtube.com/watch?v=IitCQCaKi3E

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Some do before you die, so who gives a shit.

Very based if I may say so.

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BASED
A
S
E
D

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>wanting actual physical contact with another living being
That's one of the pros of dating a quarian bro

basado

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I have never understood the whole Quarian hype. They all look the same and you don't know how they look anyway. The only faces we have ever seen is some ugly edited google stock photo and the whole Quarian culture feels primitive to me. It's like fucking some dirty burqa gypsy with degenerated immune system.

There is something inherently attractive about sickly girls. They seem so dainty and pure and in need of protecting.

Too bad she's stuck in a shit game.

I get the festish but they don't even act sickly. There won't be any scenes in which you have to take care for them or carry them or anything. The immune issue will only annoy the shit out of you after a while for that whole special snowflake shenanigans.
It's the same reason for why people hate vegans, multi allergic fags and the like. You can't just enjoy life with these fuckers, they always need some special treatment and will annoy you with their damn needs, you can't even BBQ with them.

Fuck off liara. Im thinking about fucking my girlfriend, tali.

*sneezes*
*Tali literally dies*

stay cucked, blue cunt

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Asari look so gross. What's up with those penises on their heads? Put a mask on them like the Quarians.

Shepard.

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I technically like the Asari design but I feel like they are all having ugly faces, even before ME:A.

Shepard fucked. Therefore i shall fuck.

Absolutely based and BHC pilled

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If you didnt pick Destruction, you picked the wrong ending.
Sorry.

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Why are Turian fanart tags so damn riddled with porn everywhere? It makes somewhat sense for Garrus since he is a love interest at least. But when I am searching for Turians from the game that aren't Garrus there is even MORE porn.

This is unironically the best rip of this online. 720p, full movie. There's one on YouTube that's 360p.
pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5a70761ad5428
Don't ask.

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Did anybody even like Vega when ME3 came out?

I always forget he even exists.

I doubt it. He was only mentioned in a book or two and the comics. Basically nobody knew who he was, and even then they didn't do a good job of establishing him. That said, I'd say the movie in the last 30 minutes makes him at least sympathetic.

he slowly grew on me, i would still have anyone from me2 rather than him tho

>"There just wasn't enough time...

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My Shepard picked synthesis because he was a brainlet

Fuck you, you're not Liara.

I think Marauders are handsome, would fuck.

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They are all shit anyway might as well murder everyone else to be dead together.

i like garrus

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I expected him to be a lameass jock but I actually sorta liked him by the end of the game. He was fun.

I wish they were able to give models different sizes. Garrus was tall as fuck but he's as big/small as everyone else including women in the game.

Refuse felt better than the other endings and I still don't understand why. The "real" endings all feel wrong.

Don't speak to my wife like that

I'm henry firth

Because the other endings force you to use the giant magic macguffin that was hamfistedly shoved into the story, even thought it makes no sense whatsoever, because the writers wrote themselves into a corner and were too stupid to think of another way out.

I like masked girls. Plus she has nice hips.

Because you are literally doing what the reapers want in two out of three, and the 'refuse' ending is what you've been doing for the entire trilogy, i.E: Telling 'fate' and the reapers to go fuck itself.
The only difference is that instead of a heroic final fight or climatic finish, it just fades to black because the writers were pissy you didnt like their 2deep4u endings.

I hate how there are literally random fun and fanfic posts on tumblr that are better than many of the ideas the actual writers came up with for this game. It's one thing not having the perfect story which is actually something that's hard to create and a whole other thing having something THIS retarded.
Not only talking about the endings and the damn kid, there are a shitton of things that were just fucking stupid, felt unifinished or seemed to contradict ealier developments.