Are spiders the most boring enemies in video games?

Is that a dig at deep rock galactic?

>"Tiny" spiderlegs walking all over your member
>One little leg get's stuck under the foreskin
>Big momma comes and bites your schnitzel

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>*black fuzzy mass entangled in spider webs*
>eeeeehhh i dont know man
>*starts moving*
>Aaaaahhh spiders
>*camera pans to the right+
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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STOP

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It's fine, I'll brutally murder all the low level goons doing mercenary work to feed their families but I am gonna let the bad guy running everything go because I would be just like him if I killed him ;) I hate this shit so much

>a dig

oh you

erm no... they use poison, cobweb... most boring are slimes. they are just blobs that jump around, and sometimes they split in two. thats all

CUTE

Plus they help provide protein when they suicidaly jump into your mouth while you sleep.

t. Spider

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Venom causes massive painful erection

My grandfather stepped in a spiders nest once and got bites all up his leg.

Imagine putting your face in there and letting them walk on your eyeballs and inside your mouth a few might even just crawl right down your throat

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Yeah unless you're playing EDF, then they become the most annoying pieces of shit in existence

But we just had a Mass Effect thread talifag

If you say so

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i respect spiders but damn if they aren't annoying sometimes, there's been at least three occasions where i sleep and the local spider comes into my bed to bite me all over

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It's just love bites user. He wants to be your new pet.

cute
CUTE!

not murdering them all knowing that an old lady or a little boy might depend on one of them to survive.

why the fuck do spiders always spideyweb down near me when im on the computer? once literally right in front of my face

EDF is sort of like it

They're saying hi user :3

>gets out for a short moment
>then goes back right into the fray
aww

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They just want to be friends with the big man of the house

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Except if they're moderately difficult because they're untrained brute STR enemies with no style and hard to choreograph like Sekiro. Bandits from the Hirata Estate kicked by ass to be honest.

Half the other time in Nioh I'll be flying be through waves of them, but they can easily overwhelm you and be a reminder to not get cocky when you get surrounded by 3 and one shot by 1.

Just look at that ass

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for some reason, putting my hand on that would probably feel like putting your hand on a box full of kittens.

Man, that must have felt good to shed all of that off.

Mercurio should hurry the fuck up already and sell me that fucking flamethrower I ordered.

i can't stop laughing thinking the spider is making a swastika with his legs on purpose at the end there

Like taking the best shit in the world

they are when they're adults.
females actually have motherly instinct

you motherfucker

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I was once bitten by just fucking marbled orb weaver. She sunk her fangs in my skin and didnt wanted to release them when I tried to remove her. Spiders are evil assholes.

I find this oddly cute, but at the same time I would never ever stand within 10 feet from it.

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Kittens from a nightmare

I think I swallowed a spider last week. I woke up with the sensation that something was in my mouth, right in my throat, and I thought it was just a gob of saliva so I swallowed then felt like it was moving while going down my throat. I dont quite remember shitting it out, but I stayed up the next 5 minutes just swallowing and swallowing cause that fucker would NOT go down.

And hell no I wasnt about to go in the bathroom and cough up a spider from my throat, I would be traumatized for life.

>I dont quite remember shitting it out
Do you think he would be all right after going through your digestion?

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>the local spider

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man, FUCK spiders

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I remember seeing this exact webm a couple weeks ago and this mother fucker responded to it "man imagine shedding off all that skin. Must feel good."

I swear spider posters are real.

Shit, I took off my pants to fap at that babe. Fuck you.

god damn looking at the holes in the shed spider suit is so fucking satisfying in like a perfectly engineered kinda way

Not saying I would shit out a whole spider. Just saying I thought I would feel something different, like webs in my stomach or something.

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>standing in my backyard one night
>feel something land on my head
>brush it away
>see a spider fly off of my head
>feel a web tangled around my fingers
>look at hand
>there are baby spiders crawling all over it
>baby spiders crawling all over my head
>run inside and jump into my shower at the speed of light
FUCK spiders

don't let that stop you

why, why must there be holes too. I'm having a fucking aneurysm

>"fantasy" game
>rats
>wolves
>spiders
>bears

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Are you retarded

>like webs in my stomach or something.

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Is this a horror game or something?

lmao fag

>bandits
>morals
Ok buddy

its from a netflix kino

Imagine sticking your dick in the spider and ripping it in half with your massive meat stick. Then right when you climax you cum all over the baby spiders , then crush them up and eat them along with your cum.

>This whole thread

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youtube.com/watch?v=B7INPjJaRMY

>Just saying I thought I would feel something different, like webs in my stomach or something.

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this spider and her descendants have been here for over a year now, i can sometimes see them standing around in the corner doing nothing, and one time one rappelled from the chandelier to land in front of me, wander on my plate, and then get out
problem is that their bites are itchy, at first i thought it was mosquitoes or bed bugs but mosquitoes barely exist here and bed bugs attack consistently, so i'm pretty convinced i'm being bit in my sleep by spiders

Do not google Ogre spiders if you're a babby.

>not having local spiderbros

i got some spiders around me, they chill around in their corners and eat the shitty annoying insects
we're cool

Not sure why they would bite you, I had a bunch of spiders in my room behind my nightstand for a few years and I never got bitten.

imagine finding that under your bed

>do research with ticks
>need to collect a fucklodd of ticks
>need a lot SOON their activity season is gonna slow down
>be looking all fucking day for ticks
>barely get any
>say fuck it, Just meander around for 30 minutes and go to a new spot
>my flag has literally over 200 ticks on it
>oh fuck.png
>put the flag done and start grabbing these fuckers as fast as I can
>aftter 30 minutes realize the amount of ticks on the flag is not dropping
>realize more are coming onto it
>never have I seen such terror
>check my boots and pants
>their has to be over 200 dead ticks in my socks at this point (all my clothing is treated to kill ticks)
>pray for my life I properly treated all my clothes
>sit there for over 4 hours pulling ticks off the flag
>THEY JUST KEEP FUCKING COMING
>got over 1000 ticks
>get back, strip naked and do a very thorough check
>literally no ticks
>take like 5 showers that day
>for the next week I feel phantom ticks crawling on me nearly at all times

BUT I GOT THE FUCKING TICKS

>tfw living near forest in eastern europe

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College tuition at work

youtu.be/3vPV_WeQxV8

nigga those eyes are kawaii.

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what are you collecting ticks for user? i got no idea what you mean by flag or research

what the fuck

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I know this is supposed to be freaky or whatever but they look so velvety and soft

>research with ticks
I hope your research is how to effectively and safely make them extinct. Do those fuckers ever have place in ecosystem? If birds eat them, let them eat cakes or something else.

here's what you should write on your research paper.
"TICKS ARE DICKS".

Do you think this is a game?

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Dark Messiah did it right, they're the size of a large cat, you're stuck in confined spaces with them, and they jump at your face.

>letting spiders live with you

Only thing they deserve is the bottom of my foot.

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There is mod for that. Jt replace common zombies with lion ants. Pretty neat.

"a-user why are you b-backing away i looked agter you all thies time"

This
>Visit my grandmas house in shithole central America
>wake up to bite marks all over my legs each night
>One night I woke up to find a fucking giant wandering spider on my leg
>kt stares at me
>I stare at it
>it keeps staring at me
>Fucking yell
>kick it off my leg
>it goes flying and fucking sticks to the damn wall
>stomp the shit out of it
>about to go back to sleep
>spot a Tarantula crawling from under the mattress
>Kill that too
>Assassin bugs come through the crack in the roof
>mfw I see a centipede enter my room through under the door

I HAVE NEVER EVER FOUGHT SO HARD FOR MY LIFE BEFORE

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Fuck the torch bandits

Spiders are your friends! You can trust us!

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Is wind the most boring element in video games?

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>cute oggly eyes
>unique web net ability
>long boi stick disguise
10/10 would pet.

>tiny bug companion has a mini quest where your team shrinks down to her size and help her overthrow the bug rebellion and reinstate her exiled bug father as king

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Gotta figure out how to kill those fuckers. The current research is meh. We use flags to collect them, its just heavy cloth you put on a stick, and you drag it over vegetation and the ticks grab on. Thats why its insane that they were crawling onto the flag itself.
They may have a minor role in regulating deer and mice populations but its so fucking minor I don't think it would matter much if you just nuke em all.

spiders are cute

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> aw thats cute
> camera zooms out
> is that the mother?
> ...that WAS the mother
> AND THEN SHE WAS THE SNACK

anyone here read collin wilsons spider world? the world is ruled by giant spiders that have humanity under control and are also psychic. shit is pretty cash

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Australia, not even once.

I take it your grandmas is homeless now due to the fire?

>You can trust us!

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That looks like the start of a tornado and they're just acting retarded like it's a normal day huh?

It's a little, fuzzy cuddle pile

It's your best buddy, takes care of you when you end up 150g light years from eath.

That got me pretty good.

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are these guys worth keeping or are they a redundant pest compared to spiders?

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>collin wilsons spider world

someone else has heard of this shit. I occasionally find the 4th book in the series in used bookstores all around the northwest but I never can find the other 3

No, THAT spider is. The peacock spider isn't he literally ONLY spider that is legit cute.

What the fuck are you talking about, user?

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fuck off Chuck Palahniuk you're a one-trick pony and you crested twenty years ago

Fuck ticks dude

I always wondered why they made him 3D

Because its never properly used. Physics arent there yet to have dynamic wind effects that actually feel good

That's why I cum on my mattress, so that it attracts ants that can fight off the spiders trying to get on my bed to bite my cock.

When she died i would have had to stay there again for the funeral.

I told my grieving dad to fuck that noise and bury her alone.

Are bosses the most boring enemies in video games?

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What's the sauce on this?

This is a supervillian origin story if I've ever read one.
Also
>willingly collecting ticks
>risking getting Lyme disease

Did you remember to check inside your asscrack and under your foreskin user?
Wouldn't want you to get lyme disease haha

seems like they are almost pointless because they are equally disgusting as their prey

Good luck with the research. Controlling deer population is easy and tasty. Rats + ticks are million times worse than just rats.

I think all jumping spiders are cute. They're like a cm big and very active. They like to crawl around on walls, so it's easy to find some

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Is swimming the most boring activity in video games?

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The sick

You guys hear? The world's largest bee was rediscovered in Indonesia!

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Don't worry they weren't deer ticks they don't carry lyme, but I do work with those. These fuckers do however carry an enzyme that is strikingly similar to red meat. If a tick with that enzyme bites you have a chance of developing an allergy to red meat. Those fuckers are never gonna get me. I love my red meat.

Tell me about it dude, but people don't want to kill bambi

>mfw this unironically turns me on

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bees are friens and adorkable idiots
pls don't bulli us

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