Describe a videogame poorly in a haiku

Prototype

Fear

Once I could not walk
Now I can, I wear this suit
Fuck nanites so much

Get the fuck out of here Toriyama, your waifu is shit.

Final Fantasy XIII

Halo 5

Speedy thing goes in
Solve the puzzle you retard
Speedy thing comes out

Bad Guys want clay back
start shit over and over
still alive, buddy?

Fuck the Alpha Ceph
What the fucks an Alpha Ceph?
We just made it up.

gentle foot stomping
FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MARKER

a woman made whole

Centuries later
all robots wear diapers
boyfriend is hitler

Dead Space, although that one was pretty easy

Call me an insect
Unhappy mommy Shodan
Sweaty, I cum huge

so overrated
just robot ass and titties
gameplay is shallow

The Surge

A gangsta bitch yo
I wanna gangsta boogie
With my gangsta bitch

Nier Automata.

medical is important
doctors inject patients with potassium
explosions are fun

two brothers
one is an asshole
other is pizza man

Congrats, you've been casual filtered, casual.

Stuck in a time loop
Done this shit a thousand times
All out of fucks now

SS13?

Main boss is Spanish
He is also very red
Has a fat pussy as well

not enough brouzouf
I am my mentor's killer
my legs are okay

Correct

Nice
Pretty sure you fucked it up, but still.

E.Y.E.: Divine Cybermancy

You gain brouzouf.

System shock 2?

Nathan Drake is old,
Mushroom Man go click click click,
Ellen Page is gay.

I cry at cancer
I cry at pee and poop too
crying my sins away

Dungeon with partners
Idiots can't do mechanics
Your heart will explode

The last of us

deltarune?

Nope.

is that a glass fucking cake mmmm

Invertibrate boi
Performs an exorcism
On bigger version

... Darkest Dungeon?

portal 1/2

World of Warcraft AQ40.

Based

This game sucks my shit
It’s too short and ends too fast
On disk D.L.C

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for the good ending
Kill your father, bad ending
kill father's killer

Moving into town
I'm greeted by animals
Money grows on trees

Build a town for a black cosplayer
No good quests to enjoy for players
Kill Loot return

abused by mother
over and over again
sadness is my strength
binding of isaac

come on niggers it's easy

so Kingdom Hearts 3

Uncharted

Nope

Ding ding ding

comfy work on farm
why can't I have a harem?
polygamy when?

Animal Crossing
(Nice)

The last line made it a bit too obvious, but I'm not smart enough to come up with something else without directly naming bosses.
Maybe something with "BOOM BITCH GET OUT OF THE WAY GET OUT OF THE WAY GET OUT OF THE WAY BOOM BITCH"

yeah.

Some merry misfits
Racing around the world
Gathering crystals

Animal Crossing

dog got into drugs
harvest organs from the gays
damn toxic fallout

its tumblr the game
everyone here is a cunt
friend deserved to die

Stardew Valley

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stardew valley

>tumblr the game
Life is Strange

My house, a mailbox
Where I make broken weapons
To kill evil love

Harvest moon
No utah edition yet

Hollow Knight. Based haiku

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The Binding of Isaac

Fallout 4

The end is near soon.
Furries and Nazis have fun.
Killing slavs with masks.

ya got it

That doesn't look edible, OP

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Saint's Row 2, my nigga

Talking is for fags
Stomping and grunting, based
Get tentacled, bitch

He cross the river
Walk through the forest of God
The angels cry out

Dead Space Uno

Made for pedophiles
Like, literally for them
Gets boring real fast

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unseen in shadow
red hammers fall silently
the robber is robbed

Fuck you, I wanted to actually try to write a decent haiku

Modernity spoils
Authenticity returns
Homeward bound once more

Mass Effect Andromeda?

La Mulana

A Vampires vessel
in his castle, I'm possessed
old man frees my soul

as sent from the skies
it chose me for it's trial
I arise at once

Walking snowy fields
I bought this game already
And I still can't climb

not a fighting game
stinky smell in tournament
stay away from me

Nuclear winter
A dark desire comes forth
Patrolling this shit

Internet Police
Claiming Fishes and Pizza
Protecting us all

BIG IRRRRRRON

I hehhed.

bananas
lotta bananas
fuck crocodiles

I did the ending:
Villain burned all right
Become world leader, a god,
or fuck modern tech

botw?

The game fucking lied
Goes to shit 2 hours in.
Postmodernist crap.

elf traders have come
it's time to present their gifts
release cave spiders

Near a tomato

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no, but it's a similar game in some ways

nah.
hint: it's a spin off of a classic series.

YIIKEs?

Exciting premise
Guardians fight forever
Bungie dropped the ball

WOLVES HUNT IN PACKS?

Pull the lever, rat
Space mother demands tribute
Delayed forever

that's the one

man gets surgery
sexy ghost wants to fuck man
i wish that were me

All girls want my dick,
Grandma is God meets Hitler -
Hard being shota

SCOOPS
SCOOPS
HAAGEN-DAZS

Sekiro

Obvious, my rhyme
Subtlety lacking, perhaps
Nicely done, user

FEAR 3?

FEAR 2 but close enough

olds prefer the hood
contratrians prefer the fourth
zoomers prefer me

set in viking age
you have a mental illness
pretty much a film

Shadow of the rat whisperer exclusively on the SnoyBox4

meant for

Because of old rag
Travel for 3d models
Miss this game series

beat em up gameplay
no one played this but me
sword is your gf

Protect Humanity
Big stonking robot for you
Wreck Infrastructure

Megaman X

That's not a haiku dumbass.

I am the action
I have the style
I Bang Bang pull my devil Trigger

*Save humanity
Bully me all you want.

Shoot many zombies
Hick tells a funny story
Cheeseburgers for black

Street Fighter X Tekken.

Super close, it's a megaman series but not X.

Into the Breach

GTA Vice city

I must have power
Fuck you guys I need power
I'm motivated

L4d2

dmc V
dmc 3

Kill people with traps
Don't let anyone see you
Why am I so bald?

Yep

Howdy there pardner
My spurs go jingle jangle
The mailman has come

Smash

Megaman Zero

I'm the botanist
What the fuck am I doing
Please help me jesus

Any game in the FGC tournaments

wall is stop and push
keke is defeat and move
not baba is you

Megaman Zero

Close but no cigar, fair bit older.

I remember when you posted this the other day, fun thread op

right series, wrong game
of course zoomers will prefer the most recent game, which is GTAV

correct.

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I hate writing these
Sometimes haikus don't make sense
Metal Gear Solid

banjo kazooie

Get home from my job
Fuck, everyone is dead
Winter is coming

fucking hold my hand
for fuck's sake your mom's evil
no not that way, fuck

Metal Gear Solid?

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Lego Harry Potter 2

A full deck of cards
Mountain mongols are angry
Kill them for money

Luigi casino minigame for Nintendo Ds Super Mario Bros

Dad, I need some help
Dad, this bitch is crazy, help
Thanks for the plan b

Ico?

Demons come out of nowhere
Satan and God are fighting
Law, Chaos, Neutral

nope

pirated the sims 3

follow me set me
free trust me and we will es-
cape from the city

Final boss is cool
Big titty goddess girlfriend
Fuck, I cannot fly

hitmin

Ki: Uprising

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grinding forever
not disgaea you faggot
fishing lvl?

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It's not the last guardian?

Nier?

Dood dood dood dood dood
Dood dood dood dood dood dood dood
Dood dood dood

Blast Corp

hello and welcome
to the computer aided
enrichment center

no

more obvious version:
has funny meme gnomes
and free armor trimming too
buying gf pls

no sir.

haha cake is a lie xD

DAYTOONAAAAA

Runescape

that's it

Blonde ironing board
Double swords, double power
Big titty ninja

An asteroid full
Of complete fucking retards
To save from themselves

little girl is jew
fairy is also a jew
hot golem pussy

>americans actually fucking wear there shoes to bed

Lmfao at this backwards ass scum water country. First they elect a fucking orange cheeto clown as there leader then they go to bed wearing fucking clown shoes you cant make this shit up, litteral clown country for inbred retards

i'm trapped on a boat
hold on this is not a boat
i'll just jump timelines

God dammit

far cry 5

999

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Online R.P.G.
Q.O.L. But No Gameplay
Trannies Love To Play

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mice compete for cheese
so they can buy and wear hats
guided by shamans

white is always right
Satan and god can fuck off
best girl likes manga

praise the anvil god

Short, blue hair, two swords
Summoned to world by princess
Sleep to pass the time

my great grandpa was
a super cool italian
I know, I was there

Oh fuck, the one with the bitch with the face paint, what was it called?

Oh, you're gonna get it pal!

Forward, step by step
A journey below what's known
Oneshot by a deer

Recettear. Fuck I want a sequel.

Mafia?

Wake up naked, then
go and depopulate hell
one room at a time.

I hate you both you fucking zoomers.
It’s either harvest moon or rune factory.
Can’t be Stradew cause nobody wants a harem with those options.

walk on a straight path,
what the fuck is going on,
serving an old man

nah
hints are:
for syllable count it's probably a lot more than one "great-"
how would someone be able to witness firsthand their ancestor was a badass

Swords outta nowhere
My sister's hand in a box
I was never real

It's escapism!
This isn't healthy for you.
Don't you understand?

Assassin's Creed II?

watch this console please
whatever you do don't touch
fuck what did you do

Fuck jetpack faggots
Not even the hand makes sense
The killer7

pick one out of three
and then you get a bunch more
well, maybe get them all

now we're talkin

Oooh, I was gonna guess this but he got it first

Mario kart

Oh fuck I have no idea but I wanna know now. Dante's inferno?

i was going to
write a more clever haiku
to tell you correct

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>Mario kart
Mine was actually an answer to

ye

go and free this land
now go and free these two please
no stop you're too good

DIE "main character"
how dare you forget who raised
you STUPID DISCIPLE

Shuddap, ya dumb user, or else ya'll gonna get a lickin'!

Beautiful schoolgirls
All of them are Shinobi
I love big tiddies

Seeking your target
Drawn weapon, the fight begins
Defeat, cats on wheels

>where’s that health upgrade
:)

castlevania order of occlesia?

Stars in the city
Preparing for the event
What does weight patch do?

racing with my friends
wining means getting lucky
we aren't friends now

ya

fuck I wasn't expecting to get that, nice haiku

Wolves hunt in pack
Beware of harpies' songs
The goat is silenced

humans build a big wall
furries drop a magic nuke
ruined by sequel

Main character sucks
My remake doesn't exist
Alien mommy lmao

fug, it should be ‘humans build big wall’
noticed it just as I hit post

i dig my hole you
build a wall i dig my hole
you build a wall, yeah

>Oh fuck I have no idea but I wanna know now. Dante's inferno?
Not the guy who posted it, but the SMT series.

xenoblade chronicles x?

Adventure with friends
Looking for missing daughter
Fantasy written with p

Time to teleport
One step too far to the right
Whoops, killed my party

they fall and they fall
building up and clearing down
me versus the world

ff7?

Is it online?

ooh I like this one

Pyramids ablaze
With gunfire and bone bulls
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Woah that’s a hot babe
All I need to do is kick
Ok dad I’ll free you

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Yes and I can't hiaku

Which Senran would you Kagura?

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Run! We must escape
Hide from dogs in machine room.
Oh fuck, D has gun

Tetris 99

What to do with tank
Do I steal or blow it up
Ha ha bumper cars

yea

oh, thanks

This game will release
When holy men return east
To claim what is ours

A pretty fun game
Sadly only remembered
For some dumb cake meme

Crysis 3

SCP?

Shoot and loot city
Virus killing many ones
Niggers all over

Our minds become strong
Though the journey brings much joy
No one can stop death

Two different games

Red, Blue, Black and White
Time to build the 26th
50,000¥

Where the fuck am I
The wettest month of the year
Turn it upside down

BANNERLORDS

Something growls ahead
Should have saved that fire bottle
"Run or shoot?" says Lou

monster hunter

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Easygoing Earl

>implying those fucks arent snaking

RECEIVE THY POUNDING

Crash Tag Team?

Salty ERPers XIV

>My remake doesn't exist

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Cute 2D graphics
But it turns like on 3D
A faggot made me

I can't keep delving
This game isn't fun anymore
Stop buffing spells, twats

I haven't even played it but shot in the dark, FFXV?

That's the one

Nope

Through the humid jungle
Cobras will test your resolve
Really long ladder

Snake eater

Need to kill fellow robots
Old drunk cop is tsundere
I might change my mind

Kids are cruel, Jack
And I’m very in touch with
My inner child

Steal drugs for a man
A good name for a turtle
Go reinstall it

Wife doesn't like her
Engagement ring and now I
Must toss a caber

La-Mulana

I tread silently
Or not, whatever who cares
Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

I can think of 2 games that this haiku covers. pic non-related

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Fez

Kingdom of mushrooms
From darkened spirits rising
Like flies at dawn time

Not pixel dungeon is it?

He has no grace yeah
This Kong has a funny face
Donkey Kong is here

Rome fell
kiwis won
i fucked up

The fuck kind of haiku is that?

Oy Vey you Goyim
Pay up for those lootboxes
The Mouse can’t save you

Pride and accomplishment

Not a Crash game, but I worded it like that intentionally.

No it's Tenchu

Raging with a song
Colorless, vanished hope
Mother and her son

Is it decent?

i suck at haikus.

Re4

LONG LIVE BELKA

Starwars battlefront 2

Gay bro-romance
Fuck, this isn't a sword, mate
No Indiana Jones

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5 syllables here
Now 7 syllables here
And end with 5 here

Average series
Please buy her game, servers dead
Stinky hobo girl

She's not stinky! She just lives in a sewer.

yep, i don't know what game, but it's nice.

Bringer of death and fear
Rains death on the land and dies
Reborn as a hero

Start with family's death
Saved my finger from cleaver
One on one with pope

Shit just when I posted the thread is dæd

Crusader Kings!

Thank you, i put it more effort than usual into it.
I don't think anyone is going to get it so here, drakengard 3, the exact moment is this
youtu.be/49gLC9yiGOg
Some spoilers though

Fits unintentionally
But the answer is AC2

it's the best From game
it's so goddamn fun I can't
lol oh aliens

Hmm. SS13?

A U G H T

Pathological?

SoTN?

You can do all things
Don't skip out on prayer day
Ow I have no legs

Not him but it's almost certainly Aria of Sorrow

BEEP IS THE STRONGEST

D44M

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Chaos; head

Phantasy Star

>Crazy:Coconut
Yes

look at those dickheads
use their guns to fly away
Q-U-A-C-K

DEVIANT HUNTING AUTISTIC ROBOT ADVENTURES

Our men are running
from the battlefield
shamefur dispray

From two ten emerge
Sometimes gangbanged; blinked and raped
"Me carry ez"

Any ASSFAGGOTS.

Our men are running
from the battlefield
shamefur dispray

nice

first thing I thought of was Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings
goddamn that game sucked
pic of the devs

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The roses are red
The Violets are blue too
And also Fuck you

QUE TE JODAN

Our men are running
from the battlefield
shamefur dispray

¿Como dices?

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Walk in place.
Walk in place
God is a demon.

Here are a few

Two worlds, side by side
Fighting for little mana
Half-elf prejudice

Must rescue blondie
Lose cool jacket near the start
"You're right hand comes off?"

Grow crops, raise cattle
One second is one minute
Marry your waifu

Survival horror
Gender is difficulty
Almost a sandwich

Rats race, bugs chop wood
Harden with the right timing
Don't eat spicy food

Toads with nasty names
Co-op beat-'em-up action
Kickass pause music

My hair is purple
I do martial arts and guns
It's a nip demon

I eat and eat and eat
I upgrade myself and the armor i wear
It doesn't help at all, need help from people i hate

Living Tumor Guy
Dances across the stages
Time is fcuked.

?
RE4
Harvest Moon
RE1
Pokémon Stadium games
Battle Toads Co-op is broken and impossible to beat.

Time to start the play
Genocide of the rat race
We run from the mist

You got 'em. First one is Tales of Symphonia.

Some more

Cute squirrel gets vulgar
Alcohol, gore, shit and more
Chocolate is health

Arabian nights
Man, monkey, carpet, genie
Pelt goons with apples

Snap pics, find the truth
Zombies, psychos--kill 'em all
Don't run out of time

Green hair, blue clothing
Have to lead them to safety
Some of them might die

Story was okay,
Music was complete garbage.
Cliffhanger ending.

Conker
Lemmings

The best game ever made
I want to fuck Curly Brace
in those dingy caves

40 for the game
Neither jumping nor swimming
2k5 Combat

Yeah, you got the first and fourth ones.

Pathologic.

Is this Van Helsing?
Oh it's actually Lovecraft
Nevermind it's ayys

FFIX

Funky youths on wheels
Always clashing with police
DJ yells so loud

>literally can't count syllables for the life of me
>was an A+ English student
I bet this means something.

Dad lost in card game
Now I enroll in card school
Winning and fuck girls

Magic girl save me
Merge with her to fight monster
By playing hearthstone

A boy with his girl
of beast, they run on all fours
saving love for all

kingdom hearts?

BB

Silent Scope 2

MGQ?

NIGGAS IFFY UH
BLICKY GOT THE STIFFY UH
GOT THE BLICKY UH

My little guys run
I plan future great halls of stone
Time to strike the earth

>it actually qualifies as a haiku

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Final Fantasy Type-0?

JET SET RADIOOOOOOOOO

Bloodborne. Ayys are still lovecraft

Too obvious, it's ikachan

Dwarf Fortress

Saved by one nameless
Stabbing others with programs
Macromachines, son

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Old man seeks daughter.
Is a young man in Japan.
Better than sequel.

Bastion?

Wrong

you are acrobat
fap with meat from meat circus
and water kills you

No you.

Was going for Diablo 3

second is aladdin i assume

Spin, lizard, spin, spin!
Big hammer guys spin all day
The other ones are best.

Every SMT game

Gw2?

rimworld

Uncharted does have replay value though, retard

I need your help friend
You need to fuck my sister
Or that is the end

No way, fag.

impregnable door
stomach pills aren't working yet
just type fart lightly

Bastards everywhere
Hey another shiny stone
Kongol fucking sucks.

Where the fuck am I
Read those tatoos on my back
Guess I'll kill myself

Dude Sex

Oni

3rd one is Dead Rising

BOTW

three versus three fight
cable is overpowered
at least there is jazz

I am outdated
Hired to do some wet work
My time is over

Destruction all around
Enemy fires rockets sky high
Then i drown

Kung fu and magic
He trained you wrong as a joke
Threesome ending maybe

Abducted by Witch
Nosefuck the cute short goat girl
Double vagina

I don't know whose what
cant be anything without self
Winner could be you

Fonv

Rimworld?

Go to kiddieland
That one feller masturbate
He Push me to water

Mvc2

Got the wrong number
Time to kill some russians
While wearing a mask

Man enters through door
A hall of mirrors guides him
He finds only loss