Go to office

>bragging about leeching from your parents
NEETbux is one thing but cmon man lol

based basement dweller

>Go to work
>Spend 90% of my day shitposting
>Spend 10% of my day working
>go home to the house that I own, cook some delicious dinner that I can easily afford, spend rest of the night playing vidya with my wife who loves me unconditionally
Poor little NEETs will die never knowing this feeling once

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I work helpdesk. My position is not at risk at all due to needing strong english skills since I speak with the company's stores directly. 3rd level helpdesk on the other hand is often outsourced due to not taking calls directly... I really hate having to work issues with them though, explaining the contents of a ticket to your """3rd level"""" support because they don't have good enough english is fucking retarded.

> work from home
> have weekly meetings every friday
> play videogames all day
> pop an addy on thursday and do a weeks worth of work in 5 hours
> repeat

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then you wake up from your dream frogposter

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Ewan get back to work. I thought you hated your job.

>work hourly job for 5 years
>quit
>become accountant
>enter invoices into computer program
>boss is turbo-right wing like me
>paid me to make a meme for an Info Wars competition
>doesn't care what I do if my work gets done
>shitpost on Yea Forums and /k/ all day
>go home
>keep shitposting on Yea Forums and /k/

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I get paid to market vidya on Yea Forums. You niggers can't beat my job.

>k
what and why

Not him but it's real, neet. We earn people's trust by actually doing work then get the fuckoff positions where you do nothing and get paid because we paid our dues. You however obviously can't reconcile working to actually be something good for you because 'muh tendies' or whatever.

I work for purple stream company, have lots of video games and food

>one cent for every five posts

I'm sorry that you're poor, I don't know what else to say to make your life a little less miserable my thirdie friend

What job allows you to have shitloads of time to shitpost instead of working?

Tech consultant here. Work for a software company doing database management stuff. I basically Jack off all day while while people occasionally come ask me about an issue or some such. Pretty easy and make a decent 60k, which goes pretty far since I'm in the south east

Life is good

I like how you HAD to use that frogpost image to make it seem like you're not holding back that tear lmao

Good luck when you're suddenly forced to try and build a life for yourself and survive once your parents inevitably die.

Because guns are dope.

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>t. Someone who has never stepped foot inside a job.

You don’t get those type of jobs from “paying your dues” you get those type of jobs by licking the boss mans asshole everytime he shits.

>sit at home playing video games all day
>government pays for everything anyway

don't worry I have a bazillion million iq (and inheritance, that helps too, a little...)

DELETE THIS

Borderlands 3 looks promising.

VQ2 WHEN!?

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>haven't played vidya in 3 weeks due to a work project and my side business clashing
y-yay

T. Has actually never set foot inside a real job.

Retard. Get a job.

>Be accountant
>Be tax season
>Be stuck in office for 12 hours each day
>Be unmotivated
>Shitpost to pass the time in between cases
Ugh

What a big clip you have on that rooty tooty point and shooty, is that so you can kill niggers on full auto?

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>browse Yea Forums all day
there's your cage

How do you get a job with twitch

Jokes on you, I work and fap from home

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This is what my dad does and it taught me to stay the fuck away from accounting. Now I just work in a lab and run a test every hour or so if it's a busy day.

I read news articles all day instead of working, pretty much only worked when someone else asked me for help. I didnt get caught until like a week into my 2 weeks notice. At that point it was too late to give a fuck.

Who said anything about Twitch?

Anyway, my company, being one of the hottest companies to work for right now, is on a huge hiring spree, but every college grad on earth wants a job there, and you've got to compete against some of the best and brightest in the world for certain positions. Other positions... Not so much. Just a matter of how well you fit in with the team while doing your job

Blessed post, desu.

Being able to browse Yea Forums at work is pretty neat, though. I thought all this 4channel nonsense was going to truly shit up the board, but now that I can browse from the work PCs I really don't have a lot to complain about.

>wake up
>work from home
>shitpost all day
Feel good man

how do i get a job like this :s

Get a pissant job and then start licking the bosses ass.

I'm buying a house in a major city at 27 and my job is like this, feels good man

why do they pay you to do nothing at all? how does that exist

based help desk bro, getting paid to go on Yea Forums

most jobs in first world countries are outsourced. positions exist because the company needs tax breaks

It depends on the organization of the firm and what their expectation of work output are. For example, a Boomer who would personally take 8 hours to do something on the computer that you fly through in two with better work quality.

White collar jobs

Because the boss gets free ego dick sucks. At my current job and absolute retard is now a Vice President who sits around and does nothing because he sucked ego dick as the CEOs EA

No
Maya is trans
basically

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>boasting about wasting 8 hours each day being a slave, but at least my slave job is very easy

i mean, obviously is being a lazy slave much preferable to being a slave who actually needs to do hard work 8 hours a day.
but it's still a completely shit situation isn't it? you're spending like 1/3 of a day at a place you would rather not be. it's like stockholm syndrome for work lol
if you wouldn't go to work for free, i consider it a shit job, unless you are making a lot of money

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>most jobs in first world countries are outsourced
damn, wish they told me that at literally all of my McJobs where i worked like a nigger all day...
>For example, a Boomer who would personally take 8 hours to do something on the computer that you fly through in two
don't they then get on your ass about "finding something else to do" instead of "wasting time?" that's how most jobs that i know of work.

>Work from home
How does one acquire this.

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mcjobs in first world countries are for migrants. if you start working in office in usa or uk for example you'll do max 2 hours of actual work per day and the rest jerking off doing jack shit.
go to college you dumb lazy faggot.

Cute chicken, now post IT.

Sales rep. But you have to be good at sales. I have lots of sales rep friends who really only work about 2 hours a day and make an easy 100k

i always heard college is a scam

do you have to do cold calls? i can do sales but i hate cold calls

Not really. I went from a 15/hour install tech job to a 55k a year job doing high level desktop support just because I have a BA now.

>clip

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Depends on the industry I have friends who do both. And you think you can do sales but it’s a very specific skill set that you have no way of know if you are good at until you try.

Freelance software tester here. Litearlly work only 1 hour out of the 9 I get paid for. Feels pretty good desu

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it is but companies need papers to fill you in those useless, pointless positions.
why would they hire a normal garbage compared to a garbage with a degree? both garbage have to be paid the same amount anyhow.

I make 54k doing a very similar thing and I didn't go to school at all

> be Janny NEET
> delete threads that I don't like
> shitpost all day long with no repercussion
> disagree with me? You get banned!

Damn right I do it for free!

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i know i can do sales because i sold kirbies for 2 weeks + years of waiting tables

It’s not a absolute necessity and it doesn’t guarantee you get a job but it does help get your food into the door for an interview.

It’s a simple experiment you can do. Find like 10 jobs in the same field, send all 10 the same resumé twice once with no or little college and one with a degree and see which one gets more callbacks for interviews.

when the working class rises up you will be the first to hang with your busy-work job

I WANT A DESK JOB WHERE I CAN BROWSE Yea Forums ALL DAY. MY FRIEND IS ALWAYS RUBBING HIS IN MY FACE WHILE I SLAVE AWAY IN A WAREHOUSE. IT'S NOT FAIR

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>works as a developer
>do actual work maybe 2 hours a day now after working there for almost 2 years
>work from home on tuesdays where the majority of what i do is shitpost on Yea Forums
NEETs deserve to be bullied, this is way better than rotting at home making no money and being a leech

>Laid off from 9-5 job
>file unemployment yesterday
>ready to begin looking again
>Yet don't want to, because I can't believe how nice it is to not wake up early, commute, etc etc ad nauseam
It's like a whole new light, bros... I don't wanna go back...

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based and redpilled. day of the IT Ethernet cable ropes soon.

I'm supposed to code but most of the time i'm playing games or shitposting.
Just doing a few pushes per day since it's mostly piss easy and give the illusion of hard work.

some of us if we knew how we'd gladly do a job like that, i know i would, its just you're not aware you have that option

Rape him to show dominance

>live in my car cuz couldn't pay rent
>4 years later, still live in my car to avoid paying rent
that's how much work sucks

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The truth is that most of these anons are very smart and get all their work done real fast, leaving them with a good amount of time to chill out. Any office job I've had was me slaving away trying to figure shit out or asking for help constantly, stumbling and constantly making mistales. I hate being fucking retarded.

Most guys like OP (and me) are just IT help desk dudes who spend 7 of those 8 hours doing whatever we want. I have my own office and everything, I just spend the day watching twitch and playing games on my laptop I bring from home.

Orrrrrrrr... Maybe you could aspire to do something with your life that makes you proud at the end and happy to have done it instead of trying to bullshit your way through life doing as little work as possible?

Maybe... How old are you?

Not vidya

I actually finish all my tasks in 4 hours and use 2 extra hours to complete whatever I have for the week, by Thursday I'm just shitposting on Yea Forums all day

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Get an rvening shift job thrn
Work from 12 to 8 or whatever

>be a web developer
>complete my assigned tasks for the week in two days at most
>expend rest of the week shitposting and watching stupid videos on youtube
>Since I work at afternoons, I'm the last in the office. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I just go home after "working" five hours. Thanks to this I can also sleep until 12pm.
>I get paid for this

Bullshit, IT help desk guys are always dealing with tickets that have ridiculous deadlines, and when they aren't they get told to help with development.

>complete my assigned tasks for the week in two days at most
How?

>my wife who loves me unconditionally
HAHAHHAHAHAH

Depends on the company and the job
>3 years it support for clothing retailer
Not tethered to phone. As long as tickets didn’t come in I could do anything I wanted. Some days took like 2 tickets and shitposting on Yea Forums and played gba.
>6 years it support for cell phones
Tethered to desk with phone, constant calls, if no tech calls got CS calls instead, absolut hell
>current job it support for document solutions company
I am literally shitposting on Yea Forums right now. Not teathered to desk.

>Orrrrrrrr... Maybe you could aspire to do something with your life that makes you proud at the end and happy to have done it
golly gee willickers mister i never thought of that
>How old are you?
27, i live in my car and cycle 0 apr credit cards to pay my expenses

shouldn't this be on /vp/? she is from a pokemon game is she not? let's fix this shall we?

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Same desu. I might be switching jobs soon but my stability here has been nice to say the least and i do efficient work when theres shit that needs to get done

>i live in my car and cycle 0 apr credit cards to pay my expenses
fucking based and redpilled

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Not him, but this happens to me too. I work in digital marketing, I usually get everything done for the whole month in two weeks, the rest is just spent checking how everything is going
Since I have no executives role, I don't have to be going to meetings, just presenting monthly reports
I sometimes leave 10 to 20 mins after everybody leaves because I'm also the last one in the office most times

Not all cages are physical, and the best slaves are those who don't see their own cages

How qualified do you have to be to land those?

what jobs are these people having?

I didn't know people considered shitposting in 4channel a job.

25 years old retail slave here, I want to die every day. Feels like I'm too old and dumb to start a degree or anything else now

Even at 25 with a degree, it's impossible.

thats old as shit. companies dont hire fresh no exp faggots above the age of 26.
youre fucked mate, learn to start a business.

so you cage yourself up on your own
based retard

Why are you lying

They don’t, by my job is vital, but not busy so they can’t just get rid my job, but they also can’t overload me with work as the vitalness of my means I need to be instantly available so I get lots of downtime that I end up spending here.

I didn’t get my BS until 34 and I am getting my MS at 36. It’s never too late anons

Because you can have a useless degree and not land a job. That's my situation.

Time to die I guess

what shithole do you live?

The fuck did he mean by this?

3rd world most likely.

What the fuck kind of job do you have lol
My job is pretty easy but i have to be working the entire day except for lunch
And if i need to go to the bathroom
Still nice tho i just enter data and listen to music

Whats your job, or what kind of degree do you have frens

its not like you do zero but you get too much time to do one thing

WAGIE WAGIE GET IN CAGIE

Ok then go to burger ming