Design her videogame

Starts from her perspective during the Burgundian trials as she retells her military exploits and meeting the saints.
Action RPG with mission selection through a dialogue tree of her answering questions. Some mild RTS elements of directing troops and artillery fire. Missions focused on capturing control points like dynasty warriors but without the hordes of enemy soldiers. Can choose a variety of weapons and perks for your own character and army development.

I believe she had anorexia

She was just regular crazy.
Schizos don't have the energy or the will to go around France talking to kings and entering battles. They're too depressed and low-energy to do that.

Crusader Kings II

Thought there was a story of her talking to God or some shit. Lol

Based and burgundypilled

Where's the joan-poster that talks about her historically reported sizeable breasts?

Company of Heroes style rts

BLADESTORM
except replace the english missions with more french

She is a strong woman who doesn't fear no man and beats everyone in the game

It's pretty good

>7996▶
> Design her videogame
gone home like game with medieval baguettes. she gets other people to fight for her and gets raped and burnt by limeys.

Why is Japan so obsessed with France?

Kingdom hearts playstyle, SMT writers.

then a cute tomboy general telling a bunch of frogs to kill anglos

*tips*

Bible stories would make for some nice video games, too bad no one makes them because it'd be too controversial and get banned in a lot of countries.

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It’s sort of a mutual thing.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japonism

Musou but her moveset is summoning/commanding a bunch of dudes running around her
European Warriors Orochi when?

Yea she believed she had been chosen by God and I think he "spoke" to her

Shes so cute bros
If i was a french peasant back then and saw her i dont know what id do with myself.

Make her an anime-esque character along with other historical figures turn it into a shitty gacha game

die for the glory of the kingdom of france and the house of capet probably

Wasn't there an user on Yea Forums who waifued Joan of Arc and every one of her fictional versions?

Apparently she had amazing tits and would get naked in front of her knights while getting suited up or dressing wounds. Everyone wanted to fuck her but she was so incredibly pure that nobody dared to even have lewd thoughts about her in her presence. Literally a battle waifu.

This

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i miss old Yugioh

its an RTS designed by platinum games

>loves Jeanne
>wants to support bastardized versions of her
How retarded can one get?

t. Percy Whifflebottom

Medieval Valkyria Chronicles without weeb shit.

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western Heavenly sword except you get burned to death by your own country at the end instead.

if you wanna get cuhrayzy make it about demons and shit like Dante's Inferno. At the end they burn you because you had some sort of terminal demon corruption.

Start by making her a relevant character

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Source on those claims?

fug

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also dating sim elements.

a dnd game

>dating sim elements
I said without weeb shit.

A game where you resist the urge to scream in pain as you're being burned alive

A mediocre open world game about completing missions that hold your hand all the way through and has Normal, Rare, Epic and Legendary loot, and climbing towers to reveal the map which will be full of pointless collectibles and procedurally generated side quests about killing 10 people or bringing someone back his bag which fell down a well and then you have to run around a cave to find the exit.

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Wait a minute that card...

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I thought christian world was tolerant about freedom of speech uh

AoE2 taught me to hate those sniveling motherfucking Burgundians.

This isn’t real, is it?

>weebs are retarded
nothing new here

based

>Laughs in Anglo

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*gets kicked out of france*

>laughs in Anglo again

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That's called Bladestorm. Joan of Arc is even a character in it.

*needs a dozen countries to beat one*

They retained Calais until the ~16th century until Bloody Mary gave it up. That dumb bitch.

It's the current year, take a wild guess

>needing like 7 states to beat the french
not the best example
only the early 2nd and 3rd reich are allowed to laugh at France

I can see his underwear

Why she white tho

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ITT: The Eternally Asshurt Anglo

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but the 2nd reich lost despite their massive industrial, demographical and territorial advantage

Basically Bannerlord but real.

Was about to say this, Mountain Blade is probably the most well suited game for a Jeannu playthrough

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>all these butt hurt euros

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the english rightfully owned most of the french west coast at several points of history and now all they have are a bunch of sorry little islands
AND the english national motto is in french
how can a country be so cucked?

As cool as a more historical tactics game where you survey the battle from the flag bearer's position would be, I wouldn't mind a fun action game either, where you're a God-chosen heroine and you get to talk to the big man himself before each level and go cuh-ray-zee on english demons with stylised period weapons and get to be friends with Dauphin.
I like both, I can get behind historical tactics or over-the-top-animu-bullshit

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Alternate history. You rescue her from her execution, kill Bongs and Hussites in her name and fall in love. Eventually the two of you retire to the French countryside to raise a large family.

>When you get to seduce her and make it so she becomes queen

Best feel.

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God comes down and makes a game befitting her perfection
Reminder that Jeanne
>Was extremely pious
>Was extremely nationalistic
>Was extremely pure
>Was extremely beautiful
>Had large breasts
>Had toned legs
>Had a slight tan
>Had black hair that she cut short
>Had a low, enthralling voice
>Was really smart despite being illiterate
>Was 5’2”
>Loved cannon
>Loved her country
>Loved God
>wanted to raise a family on the countryside after the war was over
>Had top tier bants
>Could maybe predict the future
>Was the best!

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There are many people like that, user. Jeanne is an amazing woman, so it's only natural to feel adoration for her.

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Tell me more about Jeanne. Especially all her bants and her love of cannons

Poor france, nothing but fags and niggers now

>Was really smart despite being illiterate
>Tfw she out fucking skilled the corrupt churchfags that were putting her on trial so they literally had to resort to "well, she cut her hair, that mean she's crossdressing, and we can't have that can we"

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So what's her name from Dragon's Dogma but real?

Is this some TV series or something?

Love Cannon
Love France
Love God
Love Family

'ate England

Simple as

things we know about Joan
>dark hair
>big breasts
>loved cannons in warfare
>essentially a peasant, should be wearing gray/brown practical clothes, if she ever wear armor (why) it'd be dull iron
there is 0 games that get her right

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One of the main reasons behind her military prowess was her extensive and creative use of cannons. She would fire them and then move them in odd locations, confusing the enemy and ensuring that they were unprepared for each barrage. She would also threaten enemy villages with cannonfire, leading to many easy victories.

>Was 5’2”

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I assume you are thinking of Mercedes. While the she-goat has many similarities, Jeanne far surpasses her in ability and success.

>f she ever wear armor (why)
To avoid death from a stray arrow?

Didn't she received an accolade shortly before being captured, meaning she was nobility?
Granted she was born a peasant, but still

How would she feel about people almost 600 years in the future masturbating to an oversexualized fictional version of her that some orientals made?

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RETRACT THESE WORDS!

The king actually gave her some nice armor as thanks. Granted, it wasn't anything as fancy as in the gacha games, but it was still very expensive.

DMC with angel powerz

Pretty pissed, Jeanne was as traditionalist as she could get.
She literally told the anglos to stop the war so that they could go remove kebabs together

>Was 5’2”
imagine

What size were her breasts?

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She prayed for and comforted the people that sought to take over her country. She's probably praying that we stop being such horny bastards.

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she looks like anne frank.

He comissioned a set of plate armor that could fit her, that's a pretty darn good gift, especially from King to peasant.

>Jeanne despised prostitutes and would regurlarly patrol her camp to chase them away. Once, she beat one so hard the hilt of her sword broke
Based as fuck

Most historical sources indicates she did wear armor and the reason should be obvious

Large

probably she was repressing her lesbianism

based Anal Saint

Go home Lindy

Jeanne was a good girl who wanted to get married and have a family. She wanted to be like her mother when she was older.

Else suffer what consequence?

Fuck that gay shit.
Design HER game.

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That sounds like some trumptard shit.

"god spoke to me and he said to kill all the englishmen with the big boomsticks"

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>archaic MeToo movement

Normally, I'd agree with you, but feel free to look it up, Jeanne was one of a kind

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>ywn invent a time machine and save jeanne by taking her back with you to the present and showing her off to jeannefags resulting in a collective mass suicide around the world effectively killing off gachashit for good

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A shame she died like a heretic.

There's a better method for that, it's called not being in arrow range

May not always be possible, better be safe

DON'T BURN THE WITCH
THE WAYS OF HELL AREN´T WRONG

Didn't she absolutely shat on the prosecutors in her trial?

>Taking a Saint away from her family to try and one-up mobile game players
I'd fucking beat you to death.

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what if she convinces the gachashit gamers to kill all the englishmen, I mean she was pretty good at that

she was probably too ugly in reality for her fanboys to not be disillusioned if they actually saw her. same goes for cleopatra

During trial, the English Clergy asked Jeanne
>What language did the angels speak to you?
This was a trick question. Saying that they spoke French was heresy, for they were only suppose to speak Latin. Saying they spoke Latin was an admission of deception, for Jeanne was an illiterate peasant girl who knew no Latin. In response, Jeanne replied
>I know not what language they spoke, but it was definitely better than your French

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Didn't she fuck a priest before dying?

Yes, they had to come up with a trumped-up charge (crossdressing) to actually get her charged with anything

>Implying she wouldn't start beating the shit out of you because of your foul magic

For the last time, Cleopatra beauty was always said to be in her voice and personality.

it already came out
just remaster this and give it multiplayer and mod support
goty 2020

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is he the modern day joan of arc?

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No. Jeanne died a virgin.
Descriptions of her face range from plain to extremely beautiful.

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What?

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yeah she turned around and brapped all over them while having a hecute face

You're not taking her away from her family, because she wouldn't have been with her family beyond that point in time to begin with.

muslims would ban the games, bud

Jeanne was often on the frontlines with her men, waving her huge banner for motivation and helping out.
However, she never killed anyone.

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This version of Joan gives me the biggest boner.

>take jeanne to the present
>she now no longer exists in the past
>this means that she doesn't end up appearing in any gatcha, defeating your whole purpose for time traveling

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Princess trainer

in how many battles do you think she fought nigger?

>Implying she wouldn't have gone home later
>Taking Jeanne d'Arc away from her time to the present
>Implying she wouldn't want to see current France
>Subjecting her to current France
>All to "Gotcha!" fucking mobile game players
I take back what I said. I would not beat you to death. With God as my witness I would drown you in a barrel of English piss.

>Jeanne would sometimes find dying soldiers on the battlefield and have them rest on her lap and confess their sins before dying, no matter if they were English or French
>your last sight will never be Jeanne's beautiful face

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Many of them. She got pissed off when her squire didn't wake her up before a battle began.

That's Abigail from the Crucible, isn't it?
Disregarding the Dunwich Horror stuff

>with your head resting on Jeanne's lap

>Implying she wouldn't have gone home later
She wouldn't have. Either user comes and saves her to cuck gachafags, or she dies. Make your choice.

As much as I want to believe, I doubt it's true.
>As a way to pressure her, she was kept in regular jail dungeon instead of being put in a convent as it usually was the case for women under trial
>Was only given a dress, her pant taken away under the pretext of crossdressing
>It is said that her jailers would often fuck with her, not in a literal sense but by taking her dress for exemple
>She also claimed an Anglo lord attempted to rape her, was given her pants back after this
>The prosecutors attempted a load of shit to get her to admit being a witch/heretic/what have you, including threathening torture, who know if they didn't actually harmed her

It's safe to say that she wasn't well treated, although it is also very commonly said that the executioner had a literal mental breakdown when he was supposed to off her once it was all said and done because he couldn't bear the thought to harm a Saint

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That's bipolar I.

A schizo can have plenty of energy and charisma if they are not to far gone. A manic depressive could, but only a short time it would seem.

The court would sometimes try to ask Jeanne the same question to see if she would give different answers. At this, Jeanne would call them idiots and say that they already asked that. When the recorder denied this, Jeanne would give the exact date and time the question was asked before and, to the recorder's surprise, she was always right. Jeanne would sometimes joke by saying she ought to pinch his cheeks for being so incompetent, or something similar to that.

I choose option C:
I kill user, take his time machine, save Jeanne and DON'T take her back to cuck gachafags. Instead, I use my newfound power to help the Saint purge the English from France and personally bring Gods justice down upon that A*glo lord that tried to rape the Saint.

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>Not taking her back to your time
>Not making her think you are some higher angel or power with your modern day magic
>Not slowly crushing her soul as she sees what has happened to the land and country she fought for.
>Not exposing her to lewds and bastardizations of her and her past deeds
>Not breaking her so much she no longer has a will to live, or to strive for anything more grand
>not turning her into your personnel gotcha where you capture consent lewds of her
>Not putting a bullet in her head and throwing her away once she is used up in two to three years, going back in time and doing it all again.

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Space marine style game from the perspective of a holy she paladin fighting off the hordes of the misguided heathens seeking to destroy your god given lands.

>Jeanne would never pinch your cheeks as she tells you to shape up
Bros...

A futuristic version of the 100 Year war, but now Jeanne is piloting an angelic mecha with big fucking cannons

Time machine only works with user's non-coerced consent. If you care so deeply about purging the English from France then why don't you do it yourself? It's never too late.

because france is the weirdest yuropoor country so they can relate

an elder scrolls game mixed with deus ex

Remember to do your best every day, anons. Jeanne never gave up, and neither should you!

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I WANT THIS!

I like her depiction in the manga Mercenary Pierre because she goes around yelling at soldiers to stop fucking whores

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until her people gave up on her lol

>Lying to Saint Jeanne
>Purposefully trying to corrupt a Saint
>Attempting to use a Saint as a sex slave
>Murdering a Saint
May you spend the rest of your life praying that God have mercy on your soul in your end times, for I shall not.

Then user shall bleed out on his floor, and I will watch as his time machine goes unused. The timeline won't change, but Jeanne will never be made a mockery of by some fat neckbeard fuck trying to meme on gachatards.

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But she never gave up on her people. She wouldn't give up on you, user.

Reading about what happened to her at the hands of the *nglos makes me so angry. Fuck England you guys deserve everything bad about your shithole country and I hope it gets even worse.

She did that in real life, but she also beat out the whores with her sword.

Is it really murder if you go back in time to before the murder occurred?

They didn't.
When the *nglos said they'd let her go in exchange of a ransom that would ruin the entirety of France for decades, multiple Lords attempted to break her out.
Obviously and unfortunately, they failed, but they did tried.
One in particular swore eternal vengence upon them if they would even attempt to touch her, I forgot his name

Was Jeanne the perfect IRL Oneesan figure?

Yes. I'm sure the Time Police could explain it better than I, though.

>it took like 8 of you guys to beat me

I bet they made nice squeals

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>tfw france is about to have another revolution
>meanwhile the Br*tish are about to instill a legal beheading act

>Jeanne will never remove kebabs from the premise

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It's always about trump with you fucking cucks, huh? glad I don't leave in Amerishart

cry more bitch nigga

One whore she beat till her sword hilt broke so probably

shouldn't the germans be the black dude?

I hope you guys are doing things that would make Jeanne happy

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I'm pretty sure it was a Broadway show. Fuck New York City.

Only fictional accounts suggest this. And misinterpretations of women sharing beds for warmth in those days.

And you might like the Drifters manga, since it's implied Anastasia of Russia might be in love with her or something.

Drifters Jeanne is crazy, but I don't think she's a lesbian

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youtube.com/watch?v=Z4KFsFtJ7QY

us spics got a seriously good voice actor as the narrator. I still get the chills.

>Been drawing free gay porn for thirsty neckbeards on the internet
She'd beat the fuck out of me user.
And I'd probably be into it

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God basically put her on this gay earth so yes.

user that's not okay

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500 years later she is still not avenged

What have those filthy fucking japs done to her

trump is literally Hitler wah! like I give a shit, has nothing to do with a french girl wanting to remove kebab with england.

tie a noose around your neck and kill yourself, fucking faggot

Imagine being Pierre Cauchon in that court and having to be all like "damn, Jeanne, you fuckin heretic, all sinful with your horrific androgynous crossdressing habit. I would totally burn you, both in my role as a tool of the monarchy and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 12 year old choir boy on his pulpit. Like seriously imagine having to be Pierre and not only sit in that chair while Jeanne flaunts her heretic false visions in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her smug grin and the glint of fervour in her eye, and just sit there, testimony after testimony, hour after hour, while she perfected that defence of her faux prophetic claims and crimes. Not only having to tolerate her impressively well-versed discussion of dogma but her haughty attitude as everyone present tells her she's SO MAIDENLY and DAMN, SHE CAN QUOTE THE BIBLE LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannishly fucking outfitted tomboy face contort into types of smugness you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of children and whores and later alleged witchcraft practitioners for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the monastery in Égliselles. You've never even seen anything this fucking heretical before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her brow as she banters at you, smugly assured that you are hating the opportunity to get paid to sit there and be humiliated by her "incrediblé (for that is what she calls it)" faith, the faith she worked so hard for with her forces in the previous months. And then the king calls for another hearing, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the guards could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Pierre Cauchon. You're not going to lose your future ecclesiastical career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

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I'm sorry Jeannu, but what Johnson demand, Johnson get

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>caring
>looks after your safety
>always wants you to be your very best
>inspiring
>hard working
>kind
>will give you a lap pillow if your day was really, really bad
>excellent banter
>interested in artillery
>beautiful
It's a shame that there is no one like her nowadays

>wanted to raise a family on the countryside after the war was over
Poor girl

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You called?

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Blame the *nglos

Shes already in a Musou game

Ok, too much hentai son

More like Anastasia will go yandere for her while Jeanne will just be very confused.

Don't do me like this user

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Jeanne also tried to teach herself how to read and write. She was embarrassed of her illiteracy, so she studied hard as often as possible. She insisted on signing her name on every letter she dictated, which is why the signature is so sloppy compared to the body. It's very likely she would have successfully taught herself how to read and write if she survived.

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Can't we have a Clone High game instead?

Or series 2 :_;

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Damn, I didn't know we had such precise historical details on whore beatings

It's strange they made her look such like a goth

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*COUGH COUGH*
MORE
WIVES
YOUR
GRACE?

>pierre cauchon
Cochon is pig in french, not only he's depicted as a fat ugly priest but he's called mister pig lmao.

Bill and Ted Jeanne is also a cute

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3000% based and would play

>all the rules fail in this girl's case. In the world's history she stands alone -- quite alone. Others have been great in their first public exhibitions of generalship, valor, legal talent, diplomacy, fortitude; but always their previous years and associations had been in a larger or smaller degree a preparation for these things.
>but Joan was competent in a law case at sixteen without ever having seen a lawbook or a court-house before; she had no training in soldiership and no associations with it, yet she was a competent general in her first campaign; she was brave in her first battle, yet her courage had had no education -- not even the education which a boy's courage gets from never-ceasing reminders that it is not permissible in a boy to be a coward, but only in a girl; friendless, alone, ignorant, in the blossom of her youth
>she sat week after week, a prisoner in chains, before her assemblage of judges, enemies hunting her to her death, the ablest minds in France, and answered them out of an untaught wisdom which overmatched their learning, baffled their tricks and treacheries with a native sagacity which compelled their wonder, and scored every day a victory against these incredible odds and camped unchallenged on the field
>in the history of the human intellect, untrained, inexperienced, and using only its birthright equipment of untried capacities, there is nothing which approaches this. Joan of Arc stands alone, and must continue to stand alone, by reason of the unfellowed fact that in the things wherein she was great she was so without shade or suggestion of help from preparatory teaching, practice, environment, or experience.
>there is no one to compare her with, none to measure her by; there have been other young generals, but they were not girls; young generals, but they had been soldiers before they were generals: she began as a general; she commanded the first army she ever saw; she led it from victory to victory

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she may be a crazy psycho bitch with fire powers but at least the author remembered she has short hair, god bless

Some people assume she'd be depressed after being burned.

she was too pure
Those burgundy fucking shits must pay for their crimes

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>made the "best girl gets an early shitty end" meme popular
It's not really her fault I guess, but I'm still a bit upset about that.

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Sequel never fucking ever

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VR game where you kill anglos together and she falls in love with your zealous carnage

If you save her from being burned to death you'll get the good ending, where you both see Charles VII being crowned King of France at the cathedral of Reims after the English are gone and she holds your hand

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I don't think Jeanne would be depressed. She was scared of getting burned, but she spent her last moments forgiving the people in the crowd and calling out to the Lord

That depends on the schizo. When my grandmother was having a fit she'd haul tons of furniture out of the house by herself and stay up the whole night screaming and banging a broomstick against the ceiling. My grandaunt, on the other hand, would mostly sit on a corner, cry all day and hallucinate about her husband or dead relatives coming back to talk with her.

>big breasts
S-source?

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Or bonkers like in Drifters.

She got slightly better after getting thrown in the well, so she may yet regain sanity and become hero. Especially now that Naoshi's on the battlefield to tell historical figures about their lives. He'd probably like her since he said he hates the English.

I sometimes think about holding Jeanne's hand

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>
It's discussed here
too fucking bad the OP is a literal faggot

They also gifted her a supposedly magic sword but she broke it by spanking a whore's ass too hard with it.

I think that was her friend.

I'm a fucking idiot user
I don't know how to cross-board post

She found that sword, actually. Her visions told her about a sword buried behind an old church.
She also vehemently denied that was the sword she broke when she was beating the prostitutes out

English soldiers opposing her in the war with surely no reason to make stories up

So, is it ok to be 5'2"?

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I think one theme of the show was to design characters as the opposite of their adult version. Abe Lincoln was charismatic so he's an awkward teen, Ghandi was humble so he's a party machine, Joan was traditional so she's a rebellious goth. They didn't go all the way with this idea since other characters (Kenedy, Cleopatra) are just themselves but younger.

>muh stronk empowered womyn
SJW fest material

old testament would make for some brutal games

>having this little faith in your history waifu
She'd never go along for user's gachashit gotcha shit and let herself be made a mockery of by some fat neckbeard fuck. Have some more faith. Also, letting her die when you have the chance to save her just so she wouldn't have to be subjected to current France is a childish desire, like wanting your (final) bedtime story to have a happy ending. If anyone, in the entire history of France, deserves to know what will one day become of their country, it's Jean d'Arc. And if anyone, in the entire history of France, can do something about it, it's Jean d'Arc.

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I want a game by AKABUR it's going to be called Saint Trainer where you incarnate in the body of bluebeard and you'll try to corrupt Joan

Good fucking shit

yeah sure, if you want to combo enemies with a donkey's jawbone

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>have influx of immigrants flooding your kingdom
>tell 'em to fuck off to monster's nest, idgaf
>look for bride in the meantime so you can assert your monarchy to stand time
>send monster to do your bidding
>micro manage the shit out of city, even coming up with jingles to raise populace's happiness
>arrange marriage after monster's return

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>This girl is reasonably good-looking, and with something virile in her bearing; she speaks but little, and is remarkably prudent, in what she does say. She eats little, and drinks wine still less; manages both her horse and her arms superbly well; greatly likes the company of knights and soldiers; scorns the company of the rabble; sheds many tears; has a happy expression; so great is her strength in the endurance of fatigue that she could remain completely armed during six whole days and nights.

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Daily reminder that this
When the fuck are the French going to do something about it?

Eh, the french thing isn't happening as once they had resorted to vandalism and theft, the populace had stop siding with them. UK is still fucked though. Joan is probably having the time of her life watching this unfold.

This but get raped by BLACK shotas procured by Gilles de Rais.

She'd probably be dismayed that England broke off from the Catholic Church and is letting in so many Muslims

What an awful fucking thread, I know this is Yea Forums but I thought better of /his/

>scorns the company of the rabble;
that means us right, if they had one word for Yea Forums degenerates it's rabble

>“This girl is reasonably good-looking, and with something virile in her bearing; she speaks but little, and is remarkably prudent, in what she does say. She eats little, and drinks wine still less; manages both her horse and her arms superbly well; greatly likes the company of knights and soldiers; scorns the company of the rabble; sheds many tears; has a happy expression; so great is her strength in the endurance of fatigue that she could remain completely armed during six whole days and nights.

How the fuck can other women even compete?

Then where did the actual sword go?

She didn't like disorganized crowds or parties

the rabble would be the normies user.. twitter, reddit ect... at worst we would be the english.

Nukige

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/army propaganda

At that, she didn't answer

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Reminder that this is historically canon.
Her first order of business when arriving at Blois (some time before the Siege of Orleans) was to remove all the rowdy promiscuous women that were partying with the men all day.
This way the men could focus on training and going to church twice a day.

How can one little farm girl be so based holy shit

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>sheds many tears; has a happy expression
did she have a big smile stuck on her face and tears of joy from killing englishmen

That's almost as bad.

>I thought better of /his/
Like every board, it has a sea of shit with diamonds in it
Only difference is /his/ is a typhoon of shit that has so much shit you quit before finding the blood diamonds.
I blame /pol/ and /leftypol/ for some of the autism. Other autism is caused by haploniggers and people who don't actually know any history me included

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God: psssst, hey girlie. There's an old sword behind that church over there, it's totally yours if you need it
Jeanne's visions were really helpful, huh? That must have been an amazing life

Basically this.

Would add a fully detailled ending cinematic demonstrating the End of her campaign.

Also, a "DoW2: Last Stand" kind-of mode

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I think if you were a medieval /k/fag with a boner for artillery cannons she would probably consider you alright

Well, she did answer. She said that she lost it when she got captured, iirc.
She was generally a happy, optimistic girl, but she would cry for the fallen and the suffering. She was a very compassionate girl

Only if you're female

>joan goes to the brothel section at the rear of the camp to "chase prostitutes"
>grabs one by the hand
>brings her back to her tent
>makes her scream all night
>"I was beating her with my sword"
yeah right we see through you joan

I've somehow encountered less people claiming she's a phony on /pol/ than on any other board.

whatever she was, she still had the charisma and character to inspire and raise the moral of many of her countryman

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Support for GJs is still high and the government deploying soldiers during their manifestations only helps the GJs.

One would assume there were swords all over the place during a war

I wanna go back in time and save her from the *nglos

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>that part where Jeanne falls into a ravine and her friend dresses up as her, forcing you to use her
>mfw I had barely used her up until that point so she was severely under leveled
I gave up on the game at that point sadly

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I've heard some people compare Alita to Jeanne. I should actually watch it at sometime

god i wish that were me

Jeanne is for Astolfo.

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>lewding a saint
the americans were too fucking kind on the japs
They should have let LeMay firebomb the island from coast to coast

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You disgust me

She was /ourschizo/

Alita is a decent fun movie but the character has nothing in common with Joan.

Patapon but she prays instead of singing

It's just the NTRfags. NTR is the worse fucking subgenre of porn. Not only is the fetish itself inherently shit, it is practically always OoC and filled with excuse plots that are identical to each other. Absolutely horrid.

If you were on her lap, her face may be blocked out by her allegedly huge honkers

Well yes, but it just happened to be buried back there. it's a bit harder to find then wherever she found her whore beating sword, I'm sure

It's not NTR though

oh no that sucks

It's not the Anglos user
it's those shifty shitter burgundy niggers who must perish

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Girls can't love each other you bigot

Just the same. It's basically fucking a girl in cosplay.

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Action-Adventure game where you play as an cuhrayzee version of Joan, going around France killing demons and shit

You fucking pornaddict neckbeards we're talking about a Saint here, cease this lewd shit at once

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>Jeanne praying or gently humming/singing hymns to help her troops
Fuck, that sounds adorable

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imagine being a dying englishmen at the field of Orleans trying to confess your sins to Joan but her huge breasts are suffocating you, wouldn't that be horrible haha

What's her moveset?

>it is practically always OoC
Maybe if your were talking about her normal version sure, but this is her summer version.

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Kennedy kind of makes sense due to his stuff related to civil rights movements when in the show he thinks he's above everyone.
Cleopatra was just generic Cleopatra though

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Strange how a schizophrenic was able to accurately direct monks into finding a long buried sword in a French church she had never been to, identified a king without ever seeing him while he hid among the crowd and put an impostor on the throne in order to pull a prank on her which backfired, and accurately predicted her own wound at the upper torso before it happened in the exact battle it happened.
But she was just crazy, i'm sure

Swords are expensive and wouldn't lay around, even a broken one, anything made out of metal is highly valuable for scrapping and medieval peasants didn't survive by ignoring possible sources of income laying around. Two peasants that spot a broken sword on the ground at the same would probably get in a fist fight to get it.

it's a VN and you Marry her as you play the MC

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>accurately predicted her own wound at the upper torso before it happened
Story?

She would still act the same as regular Jeanne.

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Gf came up with a good one.

Gather sticks for the kindling

>Rise tomorrow very early, earlier than today, and do the best that you are able. It will be necessary to keep always near me, for tomorrow I shall have much to do, and greater need of you than I have ever had. Tomorrow the blood will flow from my body, above the breast.

There's a startling lack of Jeanne Alter in this thread.

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Almost all of her campaign, Orleans the most cited, but dozens others during her brief stint

We're talking about IRL Jeanne, user

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She fought nigger in all her battles as she was battling anglos.

I want her voiced by Dan Aykroyd and her only line of dialogue is "I'm on a mission from god".

Fuck off, Gilles.

>Joan of Arc was not stuck at the cross-roads, either by rejecting all the paths like Tolstoy, or by accepting them all like Nietzsche. She chose a path, and went down it like a thunderbolt. Yet Joan, when I came to think of her, had in her all that was true either in Tolstoy or Nietzsche, all that was even tolerable in either of them. I thought of all that is noble in Tolstoy, the pleasure in plain things, especially in plain pity, the actualities of the earth, the reverence for the poor, the dignity of the bowed back. Joan of Arc had all that and with this great addition, that she endured poverty as well as admiring it; whereas Tolstoy is only a typical aristocrat trying to find out its secret. And then I thought of all that was brave and proud and pathetic in poor Nietzsche, and his mutiny against the emptiness and timidity of our time. I thought of his cry for the ecstatic equilibrium of danger, his hunger for the rush of great horses, his cry to arms. Well, Joan of Arc had all that, and again with this difference, that she did not praise fighting, but fought. We know that she was not afraid of an army, while Nietzsche, for all we know, was afraid of a cow. Tolstoy only praised the peasant; she was the peasant. Nietzsche only praised the warrior; she was the warrior. She beat them both at their own antagonistic ideals; she was more gentle than the one, more violent than the other. Yet she was a perfectly practical person who did something, while they are wild speculators who do nothing. It was impossible that the thought should not cross my mind that she and her faith had perhaps some secret of moral unity and utility that has been lost. And with that thought came a larger one, and the colossal figure of her Master had also crossed the theatre of my thoughts.

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I can get Jeanne back, but it’ll cost 50,000 yen.

just copy fire emblem generic crap and add some historic shit. also dont forget her being burned in the stake at the ending

I mean, schizo or not you'd still fuck her you sick fuck, I bet you are thinking about that centuries old charred corpse right now you crazy bacon loving bastard

t. Fat neckbeard fuck trying to con me

>even after successfully getting the king's attention and support, she was subjected to days of high-intense questioning by expert theologists
>nigger "advisors" in the king's court started saying she could be hearing the voices of the Devil, and not of God. Which would explain how she knew so much
>never displayed weakness or tiredness even after staying up for hours answering the most inane questions
>never lost her cool even if she considered the interrogation a massive waste of time separating them from God's plan
>dabbed on some guy that started to make fun of her by asking which language God spoke
>impressed everyone there and had every major religious figure in the area backing her up

Unironically an example to be followed

Imagine holding Jeanne's hand and having her kiss your forehead

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Why is there so much media that has edgy Jeanne? I don't get the obsession of turning a noble figure dark

Something about how cynical the world is. Unable to comprehend someone as pure as Jeanne. It's a bit sad.

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Creating perfection IS expensive so 50,000 is a steal.
I would totally pay that much for her to come.

God imagine some xenoblade mechanics in her game too. glimpses of the future and other helpful whispers from god

I wonder how Jeanne would react to meeting Zanza or Klaus

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While I do like long, blonde hair, I wish there were some games that portrayed her accurately

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Every character has been re-imaged as edgy, I don't think it happened that often for Jeanne. Her visual design in Drifter makes more sense than most other depictions, battle hardened with short hair instead of a pretty princess in armor.

Even pol has some respect for the maid. I'm a pol fag and she's one of my favorite historical figures

She's my favorite, and I love her dearly.

>"Thanks for the sword bro"

>manages both her horse and her arms superbly well
YOU
JUST
KNOW

Sorry christ-user, this place is cancer.

Nope. Jeanne is for protecting and for her being a loyal and guiding light that doesn't give up on you no matter what, as long as you try to be a good person.
Now if she pointed me to her less holy sister or something then I might knock those boots instead, but Jeanne is my hero

It's impossible to hate her unless you're a terrible thing.

Know what?That's she's a serious and down-to-earth military leader because she cares to learn everything about life on the battlefield when she has the opportunity to be a lazy celebrity and make some other lad take care of her horse, weaponss and armor?

Can anyone else even HOPE to compare to IRL Jeanne d'Arc? She's perfection made flesh, an angel among men.

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Based and Joan pilled

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Her trial and subsequent defamation were all part of the English and Burgundian plot that lead to her execution. She was later deemed 100% innocent by an investigation led by the Catholic Church and besides her "visions" there is no evidence at all that she had any kind of mental illness whatsoever.

what would happen to history if she wasn't captured by brits and went on to a series of victories for france?

How can the eternal anglo even compete?

That was a GK Chesterton quote.
Reading Twain's book about her is strangely uplifting.
>she was a beautiful and simple and lovable character. In the records of the Trials this comes out in clear and shining detail. She was gentle and winning and affectionate, she loved her home and friends and her village life; she was miserable in the presence of pain and suffering; she was full of compassion: on the field of her most splendid victory she forgot her triumphs to hold in her lap the head of a dying enemy and comfort his passing spirit with pitying words; in an age when it was common to slaughter prisoners she stood dauntless between hers and harm, and saved them alive
>she is easily and by far the most extraordinary person the human race has ever produced.

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Who are your guys's favorite females from history other than Joan? Mine's Saint Olga.

>The following account is taken from the Primary Chronicle. Princess Olga was the wife of Igor of Kiev, who was killed by the Drevlians. At the time of her husband's death, their son Svyatoslav was three years old, making Olga the official ruler of Kievan Rus' until he reached adulthood. The Drevlians wanted Olga to marry their Prince Mal, making him the ruler of Kievan Rus', but Olga was determined to remain in power and preserve it for her son.

>The Drevlians sent twenty of their best men to persuade Olga to marry their Prince Mal and give up her rule of Kievan Rus'. She had them buried alive. Then she sent word to Prince Mal that she accepted the proposal, but required their most distinguished men to accompany her on the journey in order for her people to accept the offer of marriage. The Drevlians sent the best men who governed their land. Upon their arrival, she offered them a warm welcome and an invitation to clean up after their long journey in a bathhouse. After they entered, she locked the doors and set fire to the building, burning them alive.

>With the best and wisest men out of the way, she planned to destroy the remaining Drevlians. She invited them to a funeral feast so she could mourn over her husband's grave. Her servants waited on them, and after the Drevlians were drunk, Olga's soldiers killed over 5,000 of them.[2] She then placed the city under siege.[2] She asked for three pigeons and three sparrows from each house; she claimed she did not want to burden the villagers any further after the siege.[2] They were happy to comply with the request.

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After winning the war decades earlier, she would go home and be reunited with her family. She'd marry some lucky guy and raise a happy family on the countryside. Might even write a book with her newfound literacy. She'd die surrounded by friends and loved ones, satisfied with having left a fulfilling life.

Imagine the purity.

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Imagine being John and about to achieve your King's dying wish of taking France, decades of war and only one castle stands on your way, the french holding it made an offer of surrender but you've refused, they're barely holding on without any food or water anyway and you want to savor this moment of total triumph

Then some french peasant girl shows up out of nowhere in the battlefield and your siege just completely falls apart as if by magic, your entire army is dead at Patay a few miles away and before you know you're suddenly losing everything your countrymen fought and died to conquer in a matter of days because of one literally who girl

Imagine

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Mark saw it as his most important book, one he spent seven years writing and researching. I think it was something he was compelled to write, considering he saw a lot of the maid in his daughter.
It's honestly nice that Twain got the chance to write something like that instead of always being swamped in cynicism

>on the field of her most splendid victory she forgot her triumphs to hold in her lap the head of a dying enemy and comfort his passing spirit with pitying words; in an age when it was common to slaughter prisoners
LITERAL
PERFECTION
St olga is a good /his/fu, she loved her husband and treated his death with respect, by killing those Drevlians shits

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St. Olga was great. My knowledge of people outside of Jeanne is limited, but I know a lot of the female saints were fantastic

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>she is easily and by far the most extraordinary person the human race has ever produced.
and then SOMEONE just had to go and kill her

>The perfect woman, Divinely planned, to love, to comfort, and command;
>And with a touch of angel light, to help us through the darkest night.

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Medieval torture simulator. The goal is to maximize pain while making sure she's alive. Also need to constantly change tactics so that she doesn't get used to the pain

Can we all agree that this was the turning point for God and when he essentially gave up on us?

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A side scroller beat em up, Golden Axe style

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I don't know much history, and she doesn't have that much history either. I don't think she's even a canon saint. I just remember her a lot because she's a welsh and female version of valentine.

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what's the muslim, buddhist and other religions version of saints?

I see you there, Anglo scum.

*nglish are barely human

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I'll go one further. It was the day that France broke the only request she asked of the king; for her hometown of domremy to remain tax free. He honored the request for years after her death, as did France after the king's death. Until some faggot accountant didn't give the ok and broke his king's oath hundreds of years later

>find weapons lying around
>break them on enemies
Ah shiet, Joan was playing Breath of the Wild.

From what I'm reading in this thread, Joan of Arc was even more pure than her anime counterparts and quite possibly the most ideal human to have existed. How would a man, given today's environment and society, even hope to be good enough to catch her attention?
Would you have to be extremely /fit/ or do you have to be as pure as her? Or would it a combination of both, where you're relatively fit but also practice compassion and admonish hedonism?

Also anyone know what would be a good place to start to learn more about IRL Joan?

it was the french revolution and everyone was frenzy rioting to care about history

Who wouldn't?

She would appreciate an honest, hard working man who respected the Lord and respected his country.

>send Jesus
>kill him
>Send Jeanne
>kill her
This is why we can't have nice things.

>actually believing historical revisionism
Are you people retarded or do you actually believe everything you read in history books?

what was the design of the standard she held? I was always curious

Factual.

the flat earth antivax is here

user she only had eyes for God and her country, you have accounts ITT of the soldiers who noticed her but literally couldn't even get a chub in her presence because she's just that pure

God punished them by erasing them from the map and giving their lands to God's country, Spain

>I had a banner of which the field was sprinkled with lilies; the world was painted there, with an angel at each side; it was white of the white cloth called boccassin; there was written above it, I believe, JHESUS MARIA; it was fringed with silk.
It was destroyed during the French Revolution because the revolutionaries didn't like her.

They had MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH LONGBOWMEN! you are never out of arrow range with those bastards on the battlefield

>reading an old-timey fanfic and believing it was real.
Don't be a brainlet, falling for some retard's story about his waifu.

It's like Fire Emblem, but TOO anime

>french flag was a white flag

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>asshurt anglo

johanne? jehanne?

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clone college was hinted at in spider verse

One of the two

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No to either because I've never read a history book. My public education was pretty shitty when it came to that

If only she weren't celibate

At her trial the Rouen judges asked Jeanne about her large standard.

Question: When you were at Orleans, you had an 'ensign' (this word is normally translated in English as standard). What color was it?

Answer: I had a standard whose field was sown with lilies. There was a figure of Christ holding the world and on each side of Him was an angel. It was made of a white fabric called "boucassin". Written above: Jhesus Maria, as it seems to me, and it was fringed in silk.

Question: Who prompted you to have painted on your standard angels with arms, feet, legs, and clothing?

Answer: I have already answered you.

Question: Did you have them painted as they came to see you?

Answer: No, I had them painted in the way they are painted in the churches.

Question: Did you ever see them in the manner they are painted?

Answer: I will tell you nothing more.

Question: Why did you not have painted the brightness that comes to you with the Angels and the Voices?

Answer: It was not commanded me.

Question: Were these names, Jhesus and Maria, written in top, below or on the side?

Answer: On the side, as it seems to me.

Question: Who had you make the painting on the standard?

Answer: I have told you enough that I did not do anything but by the command of God.

Question: Who carried your standard?

Answer: It was I who carried the aforementioned sign when I charged the enemy. I did so to avoid killing any one. I have never killed a man

stjoan-center.com/j-cc/

I thought she lost that trait if you fugg her though and she becomes chaste instead.

>How would a man, given today's environment and society, even hope to be good enough to catch her attention?
Joan's perfect man is God Himself, or Jesus. You just have to basically get on their level.

>Would you have to be extremely /fit/
lmao dude

Honestly tho? Joan did want to start a family after the war, so she was interested. Just be a loving, compassionate, hard-working honest man of God and you'll prolly be set.
The problem is adhering to those values. Back then people went to Church twice a day. I don't even know a religious nigga these days that loves God that much

She's literally one of the most documented historical figures in the world, user. Thanks to her trials she has more unbiased information about her than almost anyone before the modern era

It's only natural to have sex with your wife

Absolutely based

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>get on their level
Pushup time

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>court documents are fanfiction
W

Why are Jeanne threads always the best threads on Yea Forums, regardless of board?

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>ywn bully illiterate jeanne

Jeanne is literally 2D in a 3D world. No wonder it ended badly for her.

Because Jeanne is always the best girl, regardless of the time that has past

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i do love artillery cannons
and trebuchet

>so pure you can't even think about her in a sexual way
>so pure that her threads are the best

well now I know, thanks anons

I remember nothing about this game but it was a fun game back then. I don't know how well it has aged.

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She kicked the ass of the noble that tried to rape her when she was in prison tho.

Keep it up kid.

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As one of the guys who posted some of Jeanne's descriptions in that thread, it should be noted that they were "beautiful breasts" and not "big breasts" Beauty at the time if art was a good source would have breasts be on the smaller side. But regardless it's either big cowtitted tomboy or DFC tomboy and both are alright with me

Highschool setting, Jeanne summons angels to defeat the bullies(anglos) harassing her classmates(frenchmen)

Apparently kicked him in the balls so hard that his testicles exploded.

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>accurately predicted her own wound at the upper torso before it happened in the exact battle it happened.
Why didn't she just add more armor and some ketchup to trick fate?

I think the soldiers being able to notice them even when she's wearing padded clothing implies that they were a decent size.

She's way too good.

Really? And here I thought I couldn't like Jeanne any more than I already do.

Yeah, fair enough. Regardless, she was perfect.

>disrespecting The One that gave her the vision, making him a liar
Really, man?

Though she was a kind and humble girl, she was also extremely determined and fiery. Basically every good trait a woman could have inside of one girl.

>GOAT best girl
>great threads
It only makes sense.

Comfy and informative.

>On 23 May 1430, she was captured at Compiègne by the Burgundian faction, a group of French nobles allied with the English. She was later handed over to the English.
oh you just know she was turned into a cock slave for big anglo cock. i bet that french slut hated it at first but by the end of the day, she was begging for the superior englishmen to rape all of her holes.

mad anglo still here

And you would be wrong, heathen faggot.

>seething *nglo making up fantasies about the attractive Saint because he can't contain his hate boner
It's laughable

fuck you now im horny

>"According to the later descriptions of some of the tribunal members, she had previously been wearing male (i.e. military) clothing in prison because it gave her the ability to fasten her hosen, boots and tunic together into one piece, which deterred rape by making it difficult to pull her hosen off. She was evidently afraid to give up this outfit even temporarily because it was likely to be confiscated by the judge and she would thereby be left without protection."

savages

lol look at this fag trying to talk shit about the Maid. I bet he sucks anglo cock for his sustenance.

seething mutts who want to be french. stop believing frog propaganda, you know within your heart that the english raped her 24/7 and she loved it.

best Jeanne.

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Imagine if Jeanne was your tutor/senpai in school. Would you do better to make her smile?

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Nobunaga Jeanne is all right

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>English
>literally Celt-Saxon-Norse-Norman mongrels
>calling other people mutts
Anglos out

>would you do better
Hell yeah.

she's illiterate

She had black hair. Stupid weebs.

Based and Christpilled

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Everyone had lead poisoning back then

You're thinking of Rome.

She would be able to teach herself how to read. She was very smart. I imagine she would also enjoy trigonometry and history.

she looks better in superior blonde.

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eww faggot

>big anglo cock
No such thing. Though once again the stupid anglo acts distastefully.

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SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAW

I can't think of any Japanese Jeannes that have black hair, actually.

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Not sure about that.
Short haired dark hair looks really good.

nips know blonde hair is superior

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She kinda broke her magical sword that way so yeah, the king thought it was a bad omen also. But she didnt hate the whore and would often be conforting them and even crying with them when some of them died of fell sick.

Nips like drawing white people with blonde hair. I can live with a blonde Jeanne. I cannot accept a Jean that has inferior long hair.

Lazy Jeanne

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>a time of actual invading armies conquering territory
>lol trumpards!
holy fucking shit. read a book other than harry potter.

is there another animus were Jeanne fakes her death and lives happily ever after?

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Did they give her long hair just so they could give her a French braid?

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kek

DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T LIKE THE BALLBUSTER

user there is no way that they would resort to such base visual puns and okay yeah that's probably the reason.

fugggg

not only cries of compassion, she also cried of rage at being insulted by anglos, of being forced to abandon the siege of Paris, etc. She kept crying of joy, sadness, enlightment, etc. Makes her story even more humane, I mean she was only a 16 years old girl doing all of that, of course she cried all the time. But she kept going

Thanks for the thread, anons.
Jeanne truly is the best.

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But her best friend was burned at the stake in her stead... Not the happiest route for a proud warrior

Jeanne is a girl, but a nice one :3

Dante's Limbo?

and her cries of pleasure as the anglos fucked her

Lloyd was behind this post

>Whatever thing men call great, look for it in Joan of Arc, and there you will find it.

didn't she got corrupted by power during the campaign? so much so she actually believed to be the real Jeanne.

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If He is the One, then it would be impossible to make him a liar.

>girl i know said the reason she doesn't have a bf because she's looking for a man that puts his love for God over his love for her
I-is she t-the one??
My IRL Jeanne waifu?

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Because she was the best of all of us. If there is one person who deserved the label of Saint, it is her.

based user artist

What type of helmet did Joan wore? A bascinet?

>tfw Jeanne was a brilliant military commander, an inspirational speaker, a killer at debate, knowledgeable of God, /fit/ as fuck, and the biggest motivation of the French army
>tfw all she wanted in life was to be like her mother, a simple and loving housewife

Based madlad

fills me with equal parts inspiration and melancholy

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Was there any non-priest saint in the same time as Jeanne that would have been compatible with her and made holy saint babies with her had she not fucking died?

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>Love, Mercy, Charity, Fortitude, War, Peace, Poetry, Music--these may be symbolized as any shall prefer: by figures of either sex and of any age; but a slender girl in her first young bloom, with the martyr's crown upon her head, and in her hand the sword that severed her country's bonds--shall not this, and no other, stand for PATRIOTISM through all the ages until time shall end?

She loved knights. She would have likely settled down with some cannon autist like herself.

I live for the thought of Jeanne's smile.

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That was a pleasant thread. Good night to you all.

It's a dating sim where you can end up with any of her commanders. Do you choose Rais? Bishie fuggboi "Gentle Duke" d'Alençon? Maybe her bodyguard d'Aulon?

The true ending is the one where she gets with no one and joins a nunnery to be with God.

Good night, user. Sleep well

Jeanne would want you to live for other things, too, user

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and it didn't matter because it was all just a fever dream she's having at the stake

>implying she wasn't a virgin so pure that no one thought of her lewdly

PURE SAINT

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I will find you and beat the shit out of you. Jeanne deserved better GOD DAMN IT WHY DID IT HAPPEN FUCK YOU CHARLES YOU DIDN'T SAVE HER.

I know that she's happy in Heaven, but I can't help but feel sad that she died so young.

>I have never killed a man
she just pointed canons at her enemies and ignited the gunpowder, the canons did the killing, really it was the englishmen's fault for standing on the other side

this pic always gets me heheahah

what is it about france that produces such legendary heroes

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If the Englishmen weren't trying to invade her country, she wouldn't have shot them with cannons

Legit, I'll allow it.

Do you guys have a particular Jeanne image you like a lot?

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BUT JEANNE!

>850x571
user....

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Anyone of her being burned at the stake by righteous Englishmen

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The biggest one I had was too large for Yea Forums.
This image's true size is 50 mb

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I quite like the edit of her shadow boxing.

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>England: Exists

>Joan of Arc: It's free real estate

Can someone explain to me why she is blonde in all this shit?

Now there's a fighter who'd go the distance against Apollo Creed.

Because to the nipponese all foreigners are blond.

Japs bastardising history and weebs lapping it up. Perfectly normal.

> that mission in Bladestorm were you rescue Joan/Jeanne from the prisoner tower.

the best of feels.

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>bump limit
Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Have faith in yourselves, Anons. It's what Jeanne would want

because it looks better?

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>the only way to see Joan is to go to heaven
We must make the world a better place

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>of the city of arc

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WE'LL MAKE HEAVEN A PLACE ON EARTH

that triggered me too.

why do the Nips not know the name of Jeanne's hometown?