Game Adaptation When?

>have to load my last savepoint because i looked back at Sodom and Gamorah
I swear it was just to see the explosion i didn't actually care about that shithole. Nice attention to detail though

The You Testament

Book of Revelation would be amazing

>Hide from the beast! Don't let him mark you!
>Stealth levels
>Hiding from Big Brother
>Mining gold & silver to barter with marked people

Religion is definition of unfun

Exodus was fucking fantastic, might have to play it again now it's been ages

>a fucking talking donkey

yeah, that's a good one, sitting out in the desert with your pals doing magic.

You would play as Jesus
it would be
>press S to earthquake
>press S to transform water into wine
>press S to SAVE

source (which bible version)/language it is written in/interpretations

Same as the differences between official subs, fan subs and dubs

Imagine a game adaptation on this one

>You have 5 minutes to fuck as many goats as you can!
>Press S to rape your child wife!
>Suicide minigames
>Kill all Christians
>Press S to deceive
>Avoid the bacon!

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Xenosaga exists

Well some are right, like the King JAmes Version, and some are wrong, like everything else

Based

How the fuck do I gain reputation with Herodians?

Actually Muhamed the Bandit sim sounds dope as fuck.
Gather supplies to get more fighters.
Generate faith to gather workers.

It could be great
> Abaddon
> the two witnesses
> The two wild beasts
> the holy war
> The four horsemen
>The great plagues

>YWN play a Oregon Trail-style game where you travel as Moses thru the desert.

That actually sounds fun.

>KJV
>Right

Protty detected.

Literally every Tales games

Prots are based

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BABY MOSES

There better be an Easter egg ending where Eve tells the Devil to fuck off and humanity just lives happily ever after in Eden

Install TempleOS

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I want a Bible RPG with the same polygonal blocky style as FF VII

So, a romhack?

>Really punish

All I know of this game is the one playthrough where the guys playing it had to end their run abruptly since they made a character so small they can't get up a ledge and got stuck, and that the epilogue was voiced by a VA who lended his voice for a bunch of shitty flash games.

Go and watch "How we got the Bible" by Chuck Missler.

Love how catholic degenerates think they're pure when the only reason protestantism exists is to go back to the old ways and give jew priests degenerates the middle finger

Delete this

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KJV is one of the greatest literary works in the english language, translated from the original Greek by supreme linguistic autist William Tyndale. Everything else is for illiterate brown people.

Would christians get mad if there was a game involving Jesus, violence, sex and bad jokes?

As long as its accurate then there would be no reason to get angry.
The bible has Jesus, violence, and sex so no.
Surprising lack of puns though.

Maybe all the bad jokes are lost in translation and/or we just dont get the reference?

It's a TempleOS exclusive, suck it sonyfags

>this is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.

>here's a piece of bread I made, eat this and think of the good times!

>RUB A DUB DUB, THANKS FOR THE GRUB!

That might be it. I remember one story (not sure if its true) that said one of Jesus's disciples said "How could anything good come out of Nazareth" Which is actually pretty funny.

>Get hit
>Turn the other cheek
>Get hit again
>Get insane buff to next attack

>KJV

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>press X to offer your child daughters to the rape mod
>press O to let the rape mob rape the dinner guests you barely even know
>presses O
>you lose 100 karma

such a moral book

>Start new Jesus game
>Start in Jerusalem
>Supose awsd is for moving around
>Try out buttons, hit S
>Earth starts to shake and the whole town is reduced to rubble
>EveryoneDislikedThis.jpg
>All water in village turns into wine
>EveryoneLikedThis.jpg
>All villigers start clapping surrounded by their ruined houses, some crushed but still clapping
>Game Saved
>mfw

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>child npcs call you baldie
>spam summon grizzly bear spell
>bears slay child npcs
> you gain 500 xp and 300 karma

Which veersion

>New Quest Added: Kill your son.
>you kill your son
>You failed Quest: Kill your son.

>SAVE
save what?

This mostly. KJV is overall the best. A shockingly large amount remove several verses or phrase things incorrectly.

Jesus saves. saving is what jesus do. he saves every penny he finds. he is jewish afterall

how about saving game?

I love the Quran man, it's shifts in tone so fucking much its like reading a sequel to the old testament on fanfiction.net. Al-Ma-idah very literally states that killing one person is like killing all of humanity unless you are actually persecuted. Then it says some shit like eye for an eye is totally okay too. Then you should be forgiving towards other religions and pity then, and later on it totally states: ""Fight against such of those who have been given the Scripture as believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, and forbid not that which Allah hath forbidden by His messenger, and follow not the Religion of Truth, until they pay the tribute readily, being brought low."

I love it man. KJV is boring trash compared to this.

I would like the Quran more if not for
>verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily verily

I get that it wants me in a fucking trance but it's more annoying than any translation of the hebrew bible

There's already plenty of games based off of fiction.

This server has too many Muslims. Thank god for that based Aussie mod that removes most of these.

The bible is already all those things.

KJV sucks. Jerusalem Bible is the best. NIV is ok.

It's tough, I know. Translated from classic Arabic to modern Arabic, and then to English is fucking tough. It doesn't help there's only 8 vowel sounds and no "to be" in present tense.

Sony and Valve would never allow such game.

Never read the bible, someone give me the quick rundown.

The hadiths are even more fun anyway. Man I haven't studied Islam in a long time.

Which one?

The Bible is basically a bunch of shit early humans thought was important enough to write down. Some of it's true, some of it's made up, most of it is loosely based on true stories. It's written by hundreds of authors over thousands of years, and you basically get to see humanity slowly develop the idea of morality and become less apelike over time.

It's kino

It's about the offspring of Satan vs. the offspring of Adam

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Alot too much to make a single post about it.

God kills anyone over the slightest provocation or lets them off with overly cruel punishments, and you're supposed to think he's the good guy the whole time.

Wait til you understand gnosticism

Imagine a mod of Mount and Blade where you play as Muhammad and take over the world with Islam

Deviantart but everybody created a society out of it.

Its been done, usually as shitty edutainment games and mediocre action games.

>You start in the Garden of Eden
>tutorial level: name the animals, whine about having no other human, Eve walks over with some fruit for you to try
>oh fuck kicked out of eden and a giant flaming sword is blocking the way back in
>the game is now a fucking survival sim what is this "hunger" stat what the fuck what is "pain threshold" NONE OF THIS WAS IN TUTORIAL
>Okay, we've managed to survive a few generations and
>wait
>my current generation is split between farming crops and hunting animals why are these randomly generated names famil
>FUCKING HELL ONLY NOW IT TELLS ME THERE'S "LOYALTY" AND "ENVY" STATS now I have to worry about my family killing each other for bullshit reasons

God created the universe.
God created angels/messengers.
God created everything in the universe.
Some angels go awol because reasons.
Humans are made in the image of God.
Humans fuck up because they now have the ability to choose between what God wanted and what they think they want.
God also fucks up by telling people shit like "kill your son for me" through messengers and then its like "oh fuck they took me seriously DoN'T DO IT".
On the other hand God also fucks up by telling people he wants them to do this thing and they do it and he's all "cool oh here let me send angels to clean up that town over there its full of assholes and needs to be purged anyway".
According to the Bible, God plays favorites with Humans.
God in spite of being omnipotent has no fucking idea what to do about Humans so he tries a bunch of shit.
New Testament is basically God saying "Okay I think I understand this 'love' thing. I'm no longer blaming you all for the shit that Adam and Eve did forever ago and the rules of the Afterlife are now different. Play nice, Humans."
Rest of New Testament is all about people giving different interpretations of what some guy named Yeshua's life was like and what his message really was about.
Also there's a LSD nightmare-prophecy of the end-times.

The binding of Isaac.