>Have a cushy job in Whiterun as the chief mong astounder
>Interpreting goat bladders and shit for these retards
>Dragonborn shows up makes me look like I perform at kid's parties
>fucking Jarl makes him a Thane on day 2
>comes to me on the pretext of buying spells
>cunt swipes a couple of soulgems right from my desk
>just takes them, the second my back is turned
>i call in a favor
>friend hooks me up with some rough dudes, they'll sort him out
>don't kill him, i say, or do ..i don't care
>Dragonborn butchers them then sells their armor which he enchanted with my stolen soulgems
>
>shoulda stayed in Winterhold, shouldn't have smoked so much peaceweed
Have a cushy job in Whiterun as the chief mong astounder
Justin Gomez
Jack Rodriguez
keked
Leo Watson
>>Interpreting goat bladders and shit for these retards
this shit is golden
Ryder Young
Kek
Logan Anderson
>made some murder hobo a thane
>He seems to be able to kill dragons plus he paid $5k for the derelict house that's stinking up the poor quarter
>Lydia is supposed to be keeping and eye on him but she just wanders around town getting fatter and fatter
>Dragonborn has done nothing for 2 weeks except scour the countryside of elk and deer
>we have so many sets of hide armor
>even kids are wearing it
>what the fuck am i going to do with 800 sets of hide armor?
>there's only 200 people in all of Skyrim.
Brayden Williams
>Oh great here comes the Dragonborn again
>he doesn't even say hello, just goes straight to my alchemy table
>OH GEE I WONDER IF I'LL BE BUYING ANOTHER 73 GALLONS OF FORTIFY CONJURATION TODAY
Andrew Campbell
>Greeeeeaaaat another fuckwit who thinks I eat children
>bet you're from the college arent you?
>did those arrogant cunts send you down here to mock me?
>Well it wont work
>Dont touch my fucking soul gems
Leo Edwards
>On patrol as usual
>one of 12 guards policing
>literally
> 2 dozen citizens
>but they aren't the problem, he is
>here he comes again, making a beeline for Belethor with a pack full of still smoking weapons and armor
>Fire spell still equipped in each hand as if every house here isn't timber with a thatch roof
>some orcbrain told him we'd "look the other way" on account of him being a Thane
>
>Why do the ales all taste like lavender these days?
Josiah James
>MFW
Carter Torres
One of the only things in Skyrim i genuinely want to know more about. What is it that this asshole does and why?
Samuel Reyes
>be me
>Imperial Nobleman walking through the streets of Windhelm after Tullius conquered it and ended the civil war with my buds and guards
>decided to have some fun at the expense of others
>broke some dumb inbred Nord smith's favorite axe by hitting the ground with it after asking to test it out
>didn't pay for it after and made him angry
>guards body him when he tries to get to me while I yell 'By the Gods! Assault!'
>decide to go into the temple of Talos
>stupid Nord priest tells us that we aren't welcome here and that we can't take away his worship of Talos
>letsseeaboutthat.conjuration
>clap hands and send for the Justiciars
>Thalmor come and string him up, prepare him for an execution tomorrow
>gottem.aetherius
>decide to go down to the docks now and see who I can pick on
>see it's populated only by filthy Argonians and Khajiits
>fellow nobleman buddy gets slashed across the face when he steps on some khajiit whore's tail
>call for the Thalmor Justiciars again
>have the whole workforce of Khajiits sentenced to death
>the order is approved by the High Chancellor
>tfw
Julian Turner
>dragonborn shows up with 100 iron daggers of paralysis
>drop 500 gold a piece buying them off him
>they run out of charge after 5 hits
Brody Kelly
>Cures you and your Vampire GF of hepatitis
Everyone in Morthal thinks he's some evil cannibal tho
Xavier Ward
>be average Breton bloke
>got invited to this sesh at the Thalmor Embassy
>really cant be arsed but go anyway
>get there
>piss skinned freak at the door asks me for my invite
>fumble around in my pockets a bit before I find it
>''Go on in'' he says, clearly miffed that I took too long
>get in and immediately start smashing the free booze
>''Hey! You cant bring that in here!'' I hear in the distance
>realise I forgot to leave my Talos amulet at home
>canyouevenbearsed.riverwood
>Thalmor wizard guy starts charging up some firebolts or something
>dont even move just carry on drinking
>Other party goers scream as fireballs whistle through the air
>First fireball is sucked up like a fucking capri sun
>Second fireball bounces off and hits that Bosmer fella behind the bar
>mfw Atronach stone
>mfw Breton
Aiden Price
>be autistic antiques collector in some shitty backwater ash covered shithole
>spot a new mark come into town, here's my chance
>explain to him there's these amulets of immense value hidden around this shithole, i'll pay 500 (imperial nostalgian'wahs literally buy all this ancient shit for twenty times that)
>he only has to find me one and i'll leave this fucking place for good
>he's gone like an hour and brings back like ten of the fucking things
>i have to make good on my promise because of some fucking reason so i borrow money from that cunt orc, only temporary, gonna sail the fuck out of here tomorrow
>guards turn up next day looking for stolen amulets, find out i have them, confiscate them instantly, slap a huge fucking bounty on me too
>borrow more money from that fucking orc
>he laughs at my misfortunes
Brandon Stewart
You have 10 seconds to name a single argonian in Skyrim.
Wyatt Sanders
Keerava
Caleb Long
HAULS-COCK-FASTER
Jose Price
Madesi
Liam Fisher
Adam Allen
>Thane on day 2
what took you so long?
>sells their armor which he enchanted with my stolen soulgems
only retards enchant armor, the price increase is pityful compared to weapons.
Bentley Rodriguez
lifts-her-tail
Lincoln Allen
my player character (who is male)
Gabriel Foster
my nigga jarree-ra