"Do I look like I have any interest in children? Now making them, that's another story."

sex.
she's talking about sex.
she likes to sex.
because that's how you nake babies.

If Lumen Sages and Umbra Witches weren't allowed to fuck each other, how did they reproduce?

Your mom is fucking hot, bro.

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isnt she a lesbian?

she's not interested in Luka, we all know that she fucks Jeanne every night

i'd watch your tone, who do you think made you dumbass?

She's just bluffing to make Luka uncomfortable though

No, dubtrips-kun

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By mating with normal humans.

So why is it okay to racemix with humans but not with sages/witches?

witches would fuck other witches and create magic semen sticks

Who knows, the writing is clearly a afterthought in both Bayonetta games.

Shes just into ffm

>ywn have a threesome with Bayonetta and Jeanne

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sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

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don't remind me...

where can I find a girl like Bayonetta bros... a tall, hot, older tease?

They don't exist.

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>older
She seems pretty young though

>there is a nude model in the game
>that noone has ripped

shes 500 years old

What's dat from?

I doubt there is much detail in it outside of the butt, the game would be AO if it did

>he hasn't played the sequel

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the opening of Bayo 2

Post clip of scene

it's the first fucking scene of the game

Just watch the cutscene on Youtube or play the game.

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For such a hot character, Bayo has a miserable amount of good porn.

The mesh existing at all makes for easier modding and less reliance on using bodyswaps. All that's needed is installing a couple bits like the nipples and retexturing where necessary.

It's because she's a huge tease.

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because everyone just jacks off to the game itself, you don't really need porn to get off to her

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She wounds me so.

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either way, it won't help her miserable porn count, most horny bayo fans don't really need much to get them going.

Shut up and go to your room young man

Why do they always fuck up the face unless it's a chibi figure

That Bayo looks a bit fucked.

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because you can't capture perfection

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>no bayonetta mummy and jeanne aunt

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You can tell she was fond of him in a clumsy adorable puppy sort of way and was on the way to throwing him a pity fuck

Off camera, of course

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If it's that simple then do it

nah in two it's still confirmed they never fucked because Squirrel Boy and Bayonetta both mock him for attempting

I don't blame him, 2 sucked ass

too bad about that face

Bayonetta's look from the first game will forever be my favourite.

I just explained the conditions to do it and you didn't even pay attention to the conversation.

I really want to like Bayonetta, but I'm complete shit at these type of games. I bought the Bayo 1+2 pack back on Wii U when they first came out, but I was never good at it. If I remember correctly I got silver medals on like everything and I think I even got bronze or something like a lot too. I stopped playing a few missions in and I never went back.

Why are her tits transparent?

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I seriously cannot see Bayonetta ever having sex. Can anyone else relate?

I like her short hair better and also Jeanne looked better with her long hair

I like shorter hair but her outfit in one works a bit more for me since her hair reminds me of a witch's hat.

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time for the forbidden truth
short-haired Jeanne > long-haired Jeanne

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>If I remember correctly I got silver medals on like everything
w-wait, isn't that normal?

>short hair>long hair
water is wet

>tfw always getting Stone Ranks on my first playthrough

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It wasn't until about half-way through the first game when things started to click for me. Just stick to a few combos that work well (PKP being the main one) and get good at dodging/witch time and you should be fine. Also get the Air Dodge and Bat Within from the shop if you haven't already.

i want to play this game but my parents probably wouldn't let me

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Wait I think it was a little lower. I think it was mostly bronze. It's been years since I played it.

Yeah I got a few stone ranks too.

Yeah I plan on going back and this time I was quit like a bitch when I start sucking. Thanks for the tips.

>ywn make yourself happy in the bathtub

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Something about not mixing dark or light. We've also yet to see a female sage or male witch but Kamiya said those things weren't impossible

Is that the movie? Is it any good?

>not mixing dark or light
what did Kamiya mean by that

Yes and no it's not good

>mfw playing bayo for the first time
>all that outlandish bizzare sexiness
I'm not sure what to feel bros.
It's not your typical "I want to insert my penis inside her" but rather "I want admire her in a cloud of perfume while letting her have metaphorical drugged-out animalistic tantric sex with my literal mind"

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>I want admire her in a cloud of perfume while letting her have metaphorical drugged-out animalistic tantric sex with my literal mind
My man.

What would happen if she fucked Luka?

he'd die because Bayo has a magic vagoo

What will 3 be about?

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It means i get my mommy fetish whenever i want insects

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Alternate timeline

I see what you mean. Being a tease is part of her personality.

POST JEANNE OR GIVE ME DEATH

About being a mother figure to a baby
The fact that it can totally happen is the funny part

>man blatantly makes a game about his waifu
>everyone loves it
how did he do it

Negabayo cleaving Bayo in half

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wasn't bayo's design actually made by a girl who said she was her female power fantasy though

yes, but then Kamiya fell in love with it and made her his waifu

Yes.

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the weird thing about the trailer is that what we see doesn't even look real, the part we see is clearly fake(why are the ends of her legs purple), are we about to see some weird "Bayonetta isn't real" story

Was made by a girl but instructed by Kamiya from what i remember

NOOOOOO THAT CAN'T BE TRUE

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He didn't shove her into everything imaginable, in fact he acts so derisive when people keep asking him to put Bayo in anything and tells them to fuck off. He didn't go on stage to romance her image with a bunch of roses and talk about the metaphors in her name like what lightning bolts do besides shock people. He didn't stalk the VA just to make Bayonetta have the same profile as her and then make her the main character over Alisha, which didn't matter because she's the eponymous character anyway. He didn't make her the feature star in a game series that she was new to over many of the veteran characters like Katsuragi. She doesn't easily nosell everything like she's the god of the world like time is her only worthy opponent, because even Rodin rapes her canonically and it's hot.

When will Kojima be added to complete the family

>and then make her the main character over Alisha
Still stings huh?

>no retro flip hairstyle a la Kate Archer

I hope this outfit is from real concept art and in Bayonetta 3

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At least I am not an insect, insect.

Kamiya be like:
"That's an amazing crafted umbra watch"

Bayo 3's story will probably be about different timelines and shit while also somehow being a metaphor for motherhood.

So I've just finished Bayonetta and the story still doesn't make a lot of sense.
If Bayonetta had amnesia and she presumably hadn't encountered any other Umbra Witches/Lumen Sages to tell her anything about her past, how does she know how to summon demons or that she's supposed to be killing angels?
What was even the point of Enzo's character? He just acts as comic relief for the first couple of chapters and then disappears for the rest of the game.
Luka has no right to survive half the shit he goes through.
The game gives you pretty much no reason to care about Jeanne since she acts like a bitch towards you for the entire game until after you defeat her for the final time and the game then decides to tell you that she's actually your best friend from 500 years ago or some shit, which makes her "death" have little impact on the player
Why is Bayonetta (a Lumen Sage/Umbra Witch hybrid) the left eye? Shouldn't it be a pure-blood Umbra Witch just like how Balder is a pure-blood Lumen sage?
How could Jubileus, the ruler of Paradiso, able to get so utterly BTFO by Queen Sheba, the ruler of Inferno? Shouldn't they be equals?

Sages and witches are humans you idiot

So I was going to type in "Bayonetta Explained" into YouTube so I can finally try and understand the plot of the first game, but then I got this. Did I miss some meme about Bayonetta? What the fuck is this?

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why are your hands so wrinkly

Bayonetta in her dress skin from 2 made me realize I want/ need a mommy gf

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yes

I still have to understand who the hell are the people who watches asmr videos.
It's so fucking cringe.

Kamiya has always stated he prefers Jeanne

I listen to audio hentai, that shit is hot, but shit like "listen to me try to get in your house ASMR" is retarded

>implying he wouldn't want both

It's like a fetish, you either get the appeal or you don't. It's no different to foot fetishes or homosexuality.

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Here's some info if you like
xbox360.gamespy.com/xbox-360/bayonetta/1013849p1.html

Me on the left

god bayonetta is ugly, I don't want any of them

>Bayo
>ugly

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Your parents? Because of age or religion? Either way, why not play anyway?

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Bayo does like Luka. She just cant commit because he will die one day like a normal human. Obviously Bayo1 is romantic

Garbage tier art. Face looks like a completely different person, and the bodys anatomy is all fucked. Entire mid torso looks like a dudes ribcage.

Yes, Luca was obviously a romantic interest for her, but she distanced herself because she is immortal and eternal, and he is a mortal human.

Not true

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youtube.com/watch?v=EwA5Hw3jC-0
Watch the first 10 minutes of this video.

Kek, doesn't even sound like her.

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cringe

Reminder that in addition to having 10/10 face and body, Bayonetta is approximately 250cm tall.

youtube.com/watch?v=qK4PPjbyoPg

Is Devil May Cry any good?

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Where did these calculations come from?

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No. Fuck off.

I played through the series last year finally. It's pretty fun if you enjoy action games.

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Imagine looking at her character design with anything but disgust.

She towers above all the humans, also you can ea sily see her limbs are very long compared to her torso. Crazy long legs.
250cm is just an estimate based on how much taller she is than humans.

She's everyone's mom

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age lole[/spoiler
it would probably be hard to play it without them seeing since my computer is near the kitchen and living room so they pass by often

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How do I get a Bayo mom?

Oh, absolutely. Despite everything she does being steeped in sexuality, I simply can't see her as actually wanting sex.
Sure, she loves to use the idea of sex as a tool to intimidate, but that's just because she enjoys having power over others, both physically and mentally.

wow i can't spoiler

Because perfection can't exist in 3DPD.

>Love 1
>Dropped 2 at chapter 13 and can't bring myself to finish it.
What the fuck bros.
What were they thinking with the Masked Lumen and making his fights a Witch Time shitfest?
What were they thinking with Umbran Climax?
What the were they thinking with Bayonetta's overly smug attitude? It's not even enjoyable.

Same, and in the event of her actually having sex, I'm 1000% sure it would be the most Vanilla thing ever.

Isn't that kinda the point? Once you acquire skill (and unlock more moves to use versatility-wise) the game is made to be replayed and show how you've grown both in and out of the game.

Oh what a day!

The whole point of these games is to play through on the easier difficulties and unlock all the weapons and abilities so in future playthroughs on higher difficulties you will be competent and have access to all the tools you need to get high scores.

Yeah but I felt like shit but got a bit better on another playthrough.

I know how ya feel.

I played the game on Wii U and got stones for days.

Came back to it after it dropped on Switch and I was landing silvers and golds in the first few stages easily.

These skills will transfer to the other PG games too for the most part so you'll be ready for Bayo 3 when that happens and maybe Astral Chains assuming the 2-character combat system isn't too complex.

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>OP is that much of a virgin not understand dirty talk

>She is not interested in immature boys trying to get at her.

>But if she has to make a child one day she doesn't mind

There I translated dirty talk for you.

Need to be stylish

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Pretty sure Luka is taller than Bayonetta

>OH NO NO NO
back to your containment dmc thread k thx bai

stone? how? I'm fucking shit at these games and at the very least I got gold

the first one is kino
the second one is shit
the third is kino 2.0
the fourth is kinda shit
the fifth is meh

there's nothing to explain
it's the same plot as dmc4 but with unnecessary time travel shit

I'm sorry I wasn't as good as you, user.

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the only way to get stone is to spam items and die 5 times, unless you are playing with one hand I don't think that's possible on normal difficulty

I used items to heal myself but like I said, I eventually got better in later playthroughs.

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Even a single item use can ensure an automatic stone a lot of times.

Bad Cop, won't stop.

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Can Bayonetta make any outfit sexy?

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Gosling reaction images are so fucking great. What about him makes him so postable?

Well, there is one god left.
Jubileus was Paradiso
Aesir was Purgatorio
Now it's time for Inferno I guess.

quirky wine aunt the character

Bayo is too thin and I don't like her haircut

Who's your favorite enemy? For me, it's Grace and Glory.

I just bought bayo 1 in the steam sega sale, pretty hype, I hope 2 and the rest release soon

It means she's pro-choice. She has no children but implies to have made them. She has therefore made children and not kept them. Hence, pro-choice. Or maybe she put them up for adoption but I don't see Bayonetta bothering to go through pregnancy just to get rid of the kid afterwards.

2 and 3 are published by nintendo because no one else wanted to pay for the game production.
Just like bloodborne was paid for by Sony.

The only way to play bayo 2 on pc is with a Wii U emulator, and that aint gonna change

do people like these games ironically, serious question

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YUMMM! NATALIE MARS!!!!

damn shame, but wait aren't 2 and 3 on some non Nintendo consoles?

i wish i could assfuck Natalie Mars and jack her off and we come at the same time she splurges all over the shower wall i cum all over her back, no homo of course

Not after Rodan got to her.