Good afternoon ladies and gentleman welcome aboard Yea Forums Airlines flight 1145 with service from Portland international to Kennedy Airport over there in New York.
Boarding should be finished in a moment and once we get this paperwork finished we should be ready to get out on to the runway and on our way.
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>737 Max
Where do you think you're going sweetie
FAA be advised we have VIPs on board and special clearance to fly, confirm with ATC
Yea Forums 1145 this is Portland Tower. You were not given clearance to jump from the terminal to 11000 feet instantaneously.
No thanks buddy I prefer to fly in planes that haven't been (((upgraded))) without the pilots' knowledge
> VIPs on board
OY! WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE, MATE! *jumps out of plane before it explodes*
I'M CRASHING THIS PLANE
Portland Tower, Yea Forums 1145. Clearance was to fly runway heading maintain one one thousand. We are near Montana now so a little late on the draw
Don't fly in Africa
what're y'all drinking on Yea Forums Airlines, bros? For me it's Natty Light
>Boeing
No need to crash this plane.
It's gonna do it by itself.
>all this LARPing
lmao
Ahhhhhh ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking. We would like to remind all passengers that the Boeing 737 is completely safe and all of our pilots have received the necessary hour-long training session on our iPads
Corona if available, Heineken otherwise (flying NL if anywhere).
How's the Heineken
>All traffic in the area, ACCURA 9001, 5 miles from AFB Pensacola, 2500
>We request all aircraft to switch to frequency 121.5 MHz
>Or you will be intercepted
>all compliant aircraft will be directed to base to play Ace Combat 7
Is this a 737 Max 8?
>boeing
Oh boy, I know where this is going. Or rather, isn't.
...
>this is mobius one, over
ANGRY, loud and clear
Air crash investigation is a 10/10 docu
YOU'RE ON GUARD MATE
We have found the lost cunny please, the cunny owners come collect your cunny at the front desk
>flying
>ask for a sparkling water
>we don't have any
>guy behind me asks for a dasani sparkling
>gets his drink
I bet the flight attendant just didn't understand me and bullshitted they didn't have any
THE FLIGHT PLAN I JUST FILED WITH THE AGENCY LISTS SMEE, MAI MEN, Dr. Pavelheer, BUTON LEE, JUAN, OVUS, FURST, WAN, TOTALK, GETTS, TUESDAY, ONMAI, A.R Kraft!
You forgot PAVEL and BANE, was it part of your plan?
Im legit scared of flying, or maybe scared is not the right word. I guess in the thought of not being in control in the event the plane goes down. Like I'd be dying through no fault of mine. For example, I'd like to fly an F22 and drop some bombs on unamerican scum, but I'd rather not put my life in the hands of some rando. And yes, I've flown before, twice.
So fuck you OP, I aint boarding shit.
...
How often do you drive on a freeway? You're doing the exact same thing any time you drive and you're more likely to die from it
Uhh Flight Attendant, my Xbox won't fit in the storage above my seat.
Can someone please the zoomer in row 13 to turn off or put headphones in? Nobody wants to hear lil highschool dropout
Stop valuing your life so much, things become alot easier when you hate yourself and don't care.
When do we get to the WHOOP WHOOP PULL UP part?
BING BING WAHOO
Get the hell out of the cockpit!
You're more likely to get hit by a car driven by a college slut or dunk beaner than getting into a plane crash
REMINDER to always squawk 7500 when not otherwise assigned.
When is dinner time on this flight? I need my chips!
The age ol' is safer to fly than drive bullshit. Welp, the statistics are only like that because everyone and their grandmothers are driving, meanwhile not everyone is flying. More cars=more car crashes, less planes=less plane crashes. It just makes sense. But that doesnt change my control problem, as at least in the car I was driving.
state your flight hours faggot
mine are in the 40s
SINK RATE SINK RATE
>as at least in the car I was driving.
Except you're only driving your car, you're surrounded by cars who you have no idea who they're being driven by. How many times have you had to dodge out of the way of someone else?
In a plane you have 2 pilots watching shit along with someone sitting in a tower ensuring you don't hit anything else. It's the simple facts
PREDELNY UGOL ATAKY
PREDELNY UGOL ATAKY
PREDELNY UGOL ATAKY
Don't worry dude, it'll be fine.
>TERRAIN TERRAIN PULL UP WHOOP WHOOP, TERRAIN TERRAIN PULL UP WHOOP WHOOP
>CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK
Well, that goes back to the whole risking your life every single time you leave the house thing. Fate/destiny is going to be what it is, and all one can do is to be careful and hope for the best. To that end, I will avoid planes whenever I can, unless I absolutely have to fly.
Is there any way to hear the broadcasting? I kind of like listening to the radio chatter
PREDELNAYA PEREGRUZKA
OVER SPEED OVER SPEED OVER SPEED
the virgin 737 vs the CHAD MD-80
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING*
[jackscrew failure noises]
Ladies and Gentleman we'll be beginning our descent in to Kennedy International and should have you on the ground in about ahhhhhhh 45 minutes. Weather is fair with light winds coming in from the east, temperature 43 degrees. Please begin to finish any work with your larger electronics as those will need to be stowed for landing
based MD-80 BTFOing the maintenancelets
The safety statistics are weighted to take number of people driving vs. flying into consideration you absolute mong
if you want to stay on the highway and die in a 5 car pileup because cleatus couldnt see the car next to him when he merged, thats fine.
*Pulls out gun* AY YOU NIGGA DIS MY PLANE NOW
Some of you guys are alright.
Don't fly an on Boeing tomorrow.
>that air canada nigger who almost landed on a backed up taxi way
>Pilot goes for a loo break and you hear the cabin door lock just as pumped up kicks starts.
CAPTAIN
LOOK
Guys I'm on a DC-10 and the cargo bay door is rattling, am I gonna make i
This takes an heroing to the next level
I ain't drinking shit. 10 bucks for a can of bud light? kys
nah dont worry bro thats normal
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SCREAMIN' EAAAAAGLES
>willingly stepping foot on a DC-10
you deserve death
DC-10, a plane so shit it kills you even if you’re on a completely different plane
>wanting heavy traffic on 121.5 MHz
Hold on while I contact FAA to call on your bullshit.
*lights up your path*
what would Yea Forums do in this situation?
I can't wait for space travel. Airline flights are too uncomfortable on long flights, and other options are too slow outside of trans-siberian railway. Just sitting around drinking all day shit-talking with other travelers.
based DChad-10 cucking the europoor incel plane
Ask girls for a kiss so I don't die a kissless virgin
bury face into braphoag and hope for best
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One plane almost took out 4 planes on a taxiway
*repairs your retarded plane*
we gaan?
IF i TOOK THAT OFF, WOULD YOU DIE?
The only plane sim I'd play. What a beautiful machine.
Pls stop my dreams have been dead for 15 years now.
I haven't been in a long flight in forever but I do remember playing some games with other passengers. pretty comfy as fuck.
>Captain daddy lets me sit on his lap and fly the plane
>Gets mad when I pull a sick loop and flip off the KGB.
based
A toupee ,vacuum cleaner,and a life raft have taken out the co pilot
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RIP Skyking
Closer to 10 years for me.
based retarded dutchmen
name (1) ONE cockpit more aesthetic than this
>It's a maintenance crew was given the wrong parts episode.
>It's a battery explodes on a plane episode
>Its a DC-10 episode.
>its a senior pilot takes off without clearance and hits another 747 on the run way episode
There is NOTHING wrong with the DC-10s you fucking morons
the 747 is airliner kino.
even its crashes are grand and spectacular.
>it's an aeroflot episode
every maintenance guy I met who worked on DC-10 said it was a fucking nightmare
It'd be extremely painful...
>that russian airliner that crashed because the ATC was asleep
I didn't know planes with three failed engines, a cargo door that can be sneezed open and hydraulics that fall apart when looked at funny could post here.
And how many would that be exactly?
daily reminder that analog cockpits are kino.
4 that I know. currently an intern at United
daily reminder that analog cockpits retrofitted with digital shit are more kino
>falling for the digital meme
cringe.
If you can't afford comfortable flying now, you won't be able to afford whatever replaces flying for years.
>he communicates this using a digital system at this very moment
yes, and it sucks.
analog internet > digital incels
>still no fucking videogames about flying light attack aircraft in third world african conflicts
literally why
Its not the afford issue, its the issue of it being pointless. I've flow 9-10 hour flights and did long duration chink bus. I can keep composure and mix passing out and drugs to make even crammed flights tolerable. Why would I spend 10x my money when the flights same duration and already manageable?
Weeklong travel is where it gets interesting.
remember that time on the bee movie where a bunch of bees held up an airplane on the air?
>just bolt an eotech on the front for sights
god bless erik prince, the absolute mad lad
Nice Boeings
Airbus> Boeing
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literally name one reason this isn't a videogame yet
it was just a mistake bro, nothing weird going on here.....
AAAAAAAAA
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>Be advised. A group of unidentified aircraft are approaching at high speeds.
buddy, we just started taxiing, calm down.
>plane is obviously not a max
How do I into plane autism? I like planes but it's just so kinda daunting.
Took an aerospace class in college and actually have a AIAA paper published lol though it's not about planes
I did through combat flight sims, because I like the military side of flying and fighter jets have all the basics and more of any other plane
Be honest, when we get nanotech that allows for full VR simulation, who else is going to go on some airplane rides? Fuck, I'll ride a nice jumbo jet with someof you autistic fags at the wheel.
install fsx and pirate some decent plane addons and fuck around
I love novel threads like this.
I feel the need....
*teleports outside and stuffs the pitot tubes with chicken tendies and ketchup
heh, nothing personnel pilot
>tfw never even been on a plane before because I never go anywhere
>portland to JFK
wanna know how I know youre not american?
American but severely overestimated the fuel capacity
tell us user. how is he not an american?
>severely overestimated the fuel capacity
.......
Delta flies regularly to JFK from Portland on 737s or A320s